The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (FINAL RESULTS)

TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN
NOON-4PM

After socializing a little with Mat from Team Mravolinski-Chitco and Anna from Team Prognosis Negative, it was more or less time to start, and the team decided that Filip Andersson was going to take the wheel, since he had the most experience in the actual car.

The start was done a bit cowardly, since he knew that it was very easy to give all or nothing, with the torquey and very heavy cast iron lump up front. The same, however, could not be said about Team “If it’s not punk, it’s junk”, which covered the Saarland in tire residues at the start.

"Oh, it was already beige and red, now it is black too!", Hansen said to Carlén in the pits.
"Goddamned lunatics", Carlén answered.

Meanwhile in the Saarland, Andersson started to regret that he had laughed at the korean fridge, that appearantly was deadly fast, he could not keep up with it how much he even tried.

Carlén and Hansen in the pits was watching the mess at the track and shook their heads at the driving some of the teams did. The first car arrived in the pits, the Saguaro, which didn’t surprise them since it looked like it had been standing still for years. They prepared for Andersson playing pinball with the other cars on the track like last year, but it appears like he could keep the big Saarland wagon pretty well under control, unlike another team with a boat, team Shift Happens, that was the next one to roll into the pits. It seemed like everyone had problem at that corner. They watched some serious panel beating and welding happen over at Shift Happens, remembering their somewhat “unconventional” repairs from last year.

"One thing is for sure, those furries never give up", Hansen said.

The second time the Callahan came in they shook their heads again. It appeared like it actually WAS worse drivers in the world than Filip Andersson, even though he made a kind of wide drift with the Saarland earlier.

"Look, Team Mravolinski-Chitco is already loading the Saguaro on their trailer, Carlén said.

"Not too unlikely that we have our first DNF there", Hansen answered. "Well, sad to see since they seemed a bit enthusiastic over the race. At least it was not the Saarland."

"Strangely enough it was not the Saarland", Carlén answered.

"True", Hansen said before he was interrupted by Izzy from Team Slow shouting something about brake calipers.

"Are you going to start changing brake calipers in the middle of a race? Are you nuts?", he asked her and sighed. He took a bottle of WD40 and went to Team Slow in the pits, spraying it behind the seals, and telling Matt to motion the brakes a bit while he was yanking between the brake discs and pads.

"Now I would be surprised if they won’t last for the rest of the race. What happens then is of less concern now, right?", he mumbled and got back to their own place in the pits again.

"Rumours says that she is a Schnell technichan, but I honestly start to doubt it", Hansen said to Carlén.

TO BE CONTINUED…

@interior

3 Likes

Gonna do that reply write up soon. I guess changing callipers is not a viable option. Oh well wd40 does better, and i’ve forgotten about wd40/brake cleaners

Team Slow
Part 3.2

Previous parts.

Team Slow, The return
Part 0, The Beginning to the hopeful finale of the event.
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #34 by interior

Part 1, It will make it to the races, maybe?
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #72 by interior

Part 2, To the races! (And Beyond)
The 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker challenge (NOON - 4PM) - #104 by interior


After what can only be considered as Matt being disappointed in his girlfriend for asking such a ridiculous question about getting replacement brake calipers. Matt does what Hansen told him to which is motioning the brakes, Izzy then looks and says “Oh, that’s how it’s done on the cheap. I guess that works.” After the repairs have been done, Matt takes over the driving for the second half.

Izzy answers Hansen with “Forgot WD40 was an option too. Sorry about that misunderstanding, though the lubricant does better”

Izzy then puts on the wheels, removes jackstands and car jack, puts the car down and pulls away the jack and Matt starts driving.

As he’s worked on vehicles for most of his life, unlike Izzy, he’s considering to put himself as the mechanic of the next round. Or as a 50/50 effort. Matt says as he’s driving “Weird to how she’s worked at the engineering team yet asked for new calipers”

Matt continues driving on the track.

(this one’s super short mainly because of the segment itself)

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Darn, guess I need to do pre-race and race together.

Team Postgraduate Psychosis Chapter 0.3

The day has come. Julia, who has gotten familiar with the Callahan in the past several days and was mostly trusted not to crash it en route, pulls up to the venue in the now-single-seater clunker. Ulf and Gunther roll up in the former’s Mercedes. With them are their pit assistants: Anders, Ulf’s uncle, Victor, one of Gunther’s drinking buddies, and a box of tools and spares minor. The group stops in the parking lot outside, where the Mercedes is unceremoniously ditched.

Julia: We’re here. I’ve been to this track once or twice, so I know how to get to the pits; honestly, you should all just jog behind me or something.

Victor: And be deaf by the time we get here? Christ. Was hacking off most of the exhaust parts really necessary, Gunny? That trumpet symphony’s all we’re going to be listening for the next twenty-four!

Anders: If it lives that long. I heard what Gunther and Julia did to that engine, and where they got it from; I’m not convinced it’ll hold.

Julia: I’m right here, you know. Either way, we should set up in our pit as soon as we can… Who’s on snack duty?

Ulf: I got you covered. Holds up a massive camping backpack full of energy drinks and two-hour-cold barbecue

Victor: Jeez, I can’t get a read on that guy. Gunny, surely you’re aware that your friend has some screws loose?

Gunther: I don’t know what you’re talking about. And don’t call me Shirley.

The team heads into the pits to set up.
The drinking duo, not eager to work their asses off quite yet, take a leisurely stroll to size up the competition.

Anders: I’m still not sure what the two of you see in that ‘Gunther’ type. Seems like a prick to me.

Ulf: As far as I am aware, he does that on purpose. It is a sort of defense mechanism: If you are the type of person to dismiss him, then he does not have to deal with you. Personally, I find that he makes up for his antics by being good at what he does.

Julia: He especially doesn’t like people who talk behind his back - and I, for one, am with him. So if you want to win this thing, try to forget you ever had that thought.

Anders: tch. I’ll consider myself outvoted then. Either way, we’ve got the provided toolkit, our own set of stuff, and I’ve put the impacts where you can see them.

Gunther and Victor return, looking contemplative but not disheartened

Julia: So, what’s the scoop?

Gunther: Well, there’s roughly three categories in this race. There’s a couple small shitboxes, which was to be expected. They’ll be nimble and I don’t know if we can catch them easily, but I’d wager we can intimidate them when in close proximity.

Victor: Then there’s the medium cars. They’re not too far off from ours, but they’re all a lot older. Honestly, I’m not sure how our Carver got ruined quickly enough to be a ‘clunker’ at its age.

Johan from Prognosis Negative: Hey, we’ve got some motorsports history here, we’ll blow your hood right up!

Gunther: Oh yeah, why don’t you just blow me instead! /ahem/ And those guys fit the bill as well. They’re in our weight class, so we’ll have to beat’em up clean.

More importantly, this race is packed full of old cars. Stay the hell away from them. Some of them are framed, so they’re about as movable as a concrete pillar with rebar. They’ll be slower and thisrtier, but if you get into a slugfest you will lose.


Chapter 1.1: The first sixth

It’s high noon. The sun might not be withering, but the prospect of running a race for 24 hours is. A cooler full of Ulf’s energy drinks is all that lies between Team PP and total wastage.

Anders: Well, you got me. That Gunther takes a mean corner. Not to seem like the old geezer in this conversation… (Victor: Well, you are!) …But he seems to be managing a lot of near misses. Not really sure if it’s gonna keep working like that forever.

Sure enough, at some point in the second hour, a three-car conflagration involving a /certain/ group of mad Brits makes the Callahan’s hood go right up and refuse to close.

Gunther: Shit!! Well, it’s not like I could see past that scoop anyways!

Gunther unstraps himself and finishes the lap, driving into the pits practically leaning out the window - and falls out of the car when the door is opened.

Ulf: Are you hurt?

Gunther: Fine. Sledgehammer. Now!!

Gunther grabs the sledgehammer from Victor and, after lining up, smashes the hood with resolve and a rebel yell. He overdoes it, of course, and is reduced to judicious tapping and slamming. Julia gets ready for a stint; Anders refills the tank.

Gunther: Well, that about does it! Start her back up.

The Carver starts up from half-crank, still rearing to go.

Gunther: Now remember, you have to stay vigilant! I can’t put a ring on a corpse. Seriously though, good luck.

As Julia powers out of the pits, the team looks on.

Ulf: You know, I am astonished that the scoop is still on. I would have thought it would have been the first to go.

Anders: Heh, I guess that even in our country, the term “redneck engineering” had to apply to somebody. You’re a strange man, Gunther.

Gunther: Hmph. Yes, I am. Now give me that headset, I gotta keep an ear out for my girl.

Ulf: I told you, Uncle Andi. He sees you as overbearing. I suggest you withdraw.

Julia started her stint in the opening minutes of Hour 3. Now, in the waning ones of Hour 4, she meets the exact thing they had resolved to avoid: the rear end of a huge, bubblegum-pink Mons sedan. The Callahan has a split bumper that’s scraping on a tire, and Julia drives it into the pits.

Gunther: Jesus, that just about gave me a heart attack. Are you alright?

Julia: Don’t worry, just a little bump. Did you see what I did to that Mons thing? It stalled and is still trying to start back up!

Gunther: No, for real, you okay? Does anything hurt?

Julia: Calm down, Gunny, I’m fine. In fact, I’m staying in. Now patch this thing up and get me out there!

Gunther: A-alright.

The Carver is refueled and taped up; Victor checks out the left rear tire, the one affected by the scraping, and says that it doesn’t look any worse than it did in the morning. Julia eventually departs to raise some more hell.

Gunther: Well, shit. We’re dozens of minutes behind that runt of a Seongu. This race hasn’t been kind to us.

The team’s frat king munches somewhat dejectedly on a cold pork rib; the amount of rear-ending they’d inadvertently dished out was frustrating his hopes for a good early lead.

Anders: Well, we can look at it a different way. For all the bullshit that’s happened so far - and I do agree it’s bullshit - we’re still in the first half, and liable to gain. Your rust bucket is a remarkably solid one.

Victor: Yo dude, look! Julia’s right on the tail of that tryhard with the Regal! And from what I can see, the head punk’s actually driving it!

a smirk creeps onto Gunther’s face once again. He grabs the headset and puts it on.

Gunther: Hey, sugar…

Julia - on radio: What is it, Gunny-bunny?

Gunther: Tch. That guy in front of you… He’s got an attitude problem. Kick his ass for me, will ya?

Julia: Oh, bring it on!!

To be continued

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Team Oxracers, Ep. 11: On a roll…

Previous post

On the two hour mark, the Kando had made a quick visit to the pits to switch out Michael for Corazon for him to take his first stint. Since everything else was fine with the Kando, they switched in and out of the car in no time, that even the organisers might not have noticed. The only thing Corazon does quickly before he gets going again is lower the driver side window a bit further.

Corazon rejoins right behind the Bricksley which has a much higher speed on the short curved start/finish straight. In the next two corners Corazon is right on the Bricksley’s bumper but cannot pass due to the Bricksley occupying much of the ideal line (and beyond) of these corners, and it even thunders a few metres away from the Kando on the next short straight.

However, Corazon positions himself on the insight line and brakes much later than the heavy Bricksley, having now the better position through the next left hander.

“YOU WANNA CHALLENGE THE GOD OF DRIVING?”, he yells out of the window towards the Bricksley as he takes the left/right combination ahead of them. @Madrias

**

Meanwhile, in the pits, Jane and Lucas discuss some finer points of suspension tuning as they hear loud noises of metal-on-metal from one of the nearby improvised pit areas.

Lucas looks a bit worried. “Shall we go have a look?”

“Nah.” Jane shrugs. “I suspect Mary will be back shortly and tell us anyway.”

“Where is she… oh.” Lucas still has not gotten used to Mary’s newfound (or old?) and unsual powers.

Indeed, a short while after, Mary emerges from behind Jane’s strategically parked large Saarland Siegel Pilger and tells the other two of the Postgraduate Psychosis team’s use of a sledgehammer to fix the Callahan’s hood.

“Percussive maintenance.” Jane beams. “Sounds like my kinda guy…”

**

Corazon meanwhile has gotten used to dodging and weaving through the rest of the field, either to pass slower cars or to avoid the odd mishap… such as the Saarland skidding wide through a corner, leaving the inside line to Corazon.

“NOW THERE WAS SOME VROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT, RIGHT?” he yells at Filip Andersson, as he leaves the recovering Saarland behind. @Knugcab

Since he had looked away from the track, only through lightning quick reactions does Corazon manage not to skid too wide through the next corner himself.

**

A while later a loud commotion from one of one of the other pits awakens the napping Michael. “Anything happening?” he asks the others who can only shrug since this time it seems to originate from further away and they cannot see anything.

Suddenly, Mary appears on the opposite side. “Team Mravolinski-Chitco is out of the race, unfortunately. Terminal brake damage as far as I could make out.”

“Already? That’s sad”, Michael comments.

“Hope they stay until the afterparty”, Lucas adds.

“Hope they stay sober enough until the afterparty…”, Jane corrects. “I certainly wouldn’t…”

**

Corazon meanwhile is stuck behind the FM StreetSport. He could go a bit faster, but his usual overtaking tactics do not seem to work against a car that’s almost as nimble as the Kando through the corners, and the track isn’t particularly conducive to getting better traction out of corners. (Besides, noone has told Corazon the benefits of slow-in, fast-out yet.)

After a couple of corners without much success getting past the FM, he decides to brake a tad later than usual in order to shove the FM out of the way. “IT’S NUDGE OR BE NUDGED!” Corazon shouts out of the still opened driver window. @Jaimz68

He neglects to mention that the FM is probably the only car in the field that wouldn’t outright win a nudging contest with the Kando…

**

From the corner of her eye, Jane notices something large and pink roll into the pit area. This time, Jane checks out the Bubblegum box herself since Mary and Lucas seem to be in an animated discussion.

“No, they don’t have a fuel leak or something, they seem to genuinely need that much fuel”, she reports back as she returns, smiling smugly. @cake_ape “How much have we left, by the way?”

Using her walkie-talkie, Mary relays the question to Corazon in the car and the answer back to Jane. “Two thirds to three quarters of a tank. He says he cannot see things clearly.”

“It’s one of the old analogue horizontal fuel gauges”, Jane explains. “With the track being mainly left turns, and the Kando taking turns at speed, the gauge should… underestimate the amount of fuel… I think. But I guess we pit when the fuel lamp lights up.”

“If it works”, mutters Lucas. “Have we ever checked it?”

“Good point”, noted Jane. “Mary, can you give us a reminder on the next driver swap that we check whether it makes sense to refuel early?”

Mary nods. “Managing such a lead is kinda different as I expected it”, she comments. “And it certainly isn’t less pressure, perhaps even the other way round. If we were in the midfield, it’d be just something for fun. Now it would look odd if we wouldn’t win…”

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PART 2
4 PM-8 PM

Four hours into the race, we wonder if someone is getting a bit tired behind the wheel of the Union because the driving looks a bit erratic every now and then. The Rosewood goes into the pits for a flat tyre, however, it seems like the lug nuts are torqued way too hard, meaning that the team has to struggle and use fair amounts of violence to remove the wheel. Corazon in the Seongu seems to have a little trouble to keep the car in a straight line on the straights at the moment. Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk” keeps drifting through the corners, but oh, shit… Being hit by the Schwarzburg of Team Schrott racing, we wonder if they have learned something now. Both cars more or less comes to a stand still, but no visits in the pits seems to be necessary.

While the Callahan and the Saarland goes in for fuel stops, the Przenopewien goes in to have its squealing fan belt replaced since there is no more margins on the tensioner. The next car to go in for a fuel stop is the FM. We have said this before, but it seems like the WRK was a less wise choice of car for this, since it really seems to have some struggle at the track.

The Union goes into the guardrail, bouncing back on track causing the Saarland to swerve. More or less at the same time, the Przenopewien, Sandhurst and Mons needs refueling. It seems like Team Bubblegum’s driver is a bit too hurried getting back on the track, though, entering with spinning tyres. Also too confident maybe? The driver of the Régal, regarding that car’s braking capacity, meaning that it hits the Seongu from behind, meaning that the rear window now is in a million pieces in the luggage compartment. Since the aerodynamics of the hatchback makes that a perfect entry for gravel, dust and exhaust fumes, Team Oxracers choose to go to the pits to duct tape a sheet of clear plastic as a temporary rear window.

The Union is freewheeling into the pits after a relatively hard landing for some reason. It appears like the transmission jumped into neutral and that it is impossible to get it back into gear again. The result is that Team Desert Scavengers has to use lots of time to try to fix the shifter linkage. Maybe Rukari didn’t really expect the freewheeling Union, braking a bit too hard with the Bricksley and causing the wheels to lock up. This also means that the Seongu has to brake hard, though it stays in control. Filip Andersson, on the other hand does not have the same reactions. To avoid making a pileup he chooses to sacrifice the beautiful red Saarland bumper into the guardrail instead. The oil pressure light have been flickering in the Przenopewien for a while, and Team Shine Quartz decides to take their chances to see if a change of oil and filter will cure the problems. Team Prognosis Negative is taking the turns a bit wide with their Régal, maybe the driver of Team Septic Tank’s Sandhurst loses patience a bit, hitting the rear quarter of the Régal, making it spin around, largely unhurt though while the Sandhurst has to go into the pits for some good ol’ panel beating. Maybe lack of patience has also plagued Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk”. They hit the Rosewood from behind, which slows down the Cambridge a lot more than it slows down the Rosewood.

The next car to hit Team Spy kids puke green…ehm…thing, is the Bricksley. This time, both cars needs a visit to the pits, the Bricksley mostly to rip off the last remaining sherds of the plastic bumper, but the Rosewood needs some serious panel beating. Though, in an attempt to leave the pits like a champ, the Rosewood goes out with a loud bang. With the innards of the rear axle trying to play peek-a-boo, Team Spy Kids is out of the race with a hole in the diff casing as a proof of having been here in 2022. Team Bubblegum seems to have a hard time letting the thoughts of demolition derby just pass, since the Mons crashes into the Union. Maybe the FM or Seongu would have been better opponents instead of another rock solid BOF yank-tank, since the crash have twisted the rusted out frame of the Mons like a cork screw, meaning that Team Bubblegum is the next team to give up this race. But what’s this? Oh, no… The Union is actually REVERSING into the pits, since it seems like the crash have affected the earlier shift linkage repair so no other gear than reverse works at the moment. So, for the second time, lots of time goes into repairing the shift linkage of the Union. That freakshow makes it go more or less unnoticed that the Régal is going in to fill up its tank. And…oh, shit, the Cambridge is suddenly very low in the rear…on just one side. It seems like Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk” will have a job to do now with replacing a broken coil spring in the rear.

The Seongu might be fast, but it seems to be kind of a struggle to keep it on the track sometimes, judging by the spinout it just did. The Bricksley is once again going in for a refuelling. It is worse for the Przenopewien where the alternator now is junk, luckily enough the team had a spare one with them that gets replaced in the pits. The FM understeers into the guardrail with a heavy bang and has to go into the pits for some equally heavy panel beating. The WRK is the next car to go for a refuelling.

The Schnell does a spinout, and the sputtering afterwards might be a sign that the tank is getting empty, so it goes into the pits for a refill. The Przenopewien hits the Union from behind and a sudden smell of gas makes Team Desert Scavengers suspicious. Seems like they are right, the hose between the filler neck and fuel tank has popped loose from the crash and disappeared somewhere, meaning that they need to do their best to replace it. And once again, the somewhat…eh…wild driving caused by a certain team that maybe should have renamed themselves “Anarchy from the UK” is causing troubles. The FM hits the drifting Cambridge, meaning that Team SCS once again has to do some panel beating in the pits. Meanwhile, the Schwarzburg is going in for refuelling.

The Callahan and the Przenopewien is close to get into a tangle, but somehow manages to avoid it, spinning around farther away from each other rather than crashing, it sure costs both teams some time, though. The FM once again goes into the pits, it seems like the earlier crash damaged the battery, which is changed out for a new one. There is also some nudging of the guardrail by the Sandhurst.

CURRENT STANDINGS

  1. Team Oxracers / #41 Seongu (@AndiD ) - Lap # 553
  2. Team Postgraduate Psychosis / #66 Callahan (@Texaslav ) - Lap # 529
  3. Team Slow / #91 Schnell (@interior ) - Lap # 516
  4. Team Septic Tank / #404 Sandhurst (@stm316 ) - Lap # 503
  5. Team Prognosis Negative / #8 Régal (@karhgath ) - Lap # 501
  6. Team Schrott Racing / # 13 Schwarzburg (@Rudzis ) - Lap # 497
  7. Team Trafikjournalen / #23 Saarland (@Knugcab ) - Lap # 494
  8. Team If it’s not punk it’s junk / #16 Cambridge (@Maverick74 ) - Lap # 493
  9. Team Rogue Traders / #722 WRK (@Fayeding_Spray ) - Lap # 486
  10. Team Shift Happens / #357 Bricksley (@Madrias / @Elizipeazie ) - Lap # 479
  11. Team SCS / #69 FM (@Jaimz68 ) - Lap # 462
  12. Team Shine Quartz / #98 Przenopewien (@Vento ) - Lap #426
  13. Team Desert Scavengers / #47 Union (@TheYugo45GV ) - Lap # 425
  14. Team Bubblegum / #113 Mons (@cake_ape ) - Lap # 386 (DNF)
  15. Team Spy Kids / #42 Rosewood (@SheikhMansour ) - Lap # 365 (DNF)
  16. Team Mravolinski-Chitco / #90 Saguaro (@MrdjaNikolen ) - Lap # 123 (DNF)
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Team Shift Happens

On The Track - Race Pt.1 - 12:00-4:00PM
The Human Side of Things - Written by Elizipeazie


(While this is written as a whole piece, there will be a segment later dealing with some things going on in the pits. So, just know that around the time of our driver change, other things have happened.)


4 PM

Rukari had started to figure out exactly how hard he could push the Grand Warden, the tires squealing and the engine roaring like any classic 90’s buddy-cop-show with car chases would have. He knew the car had a secret weapon, but had been told to keep it under 6,000 RPM early on, to not hurt their chances, and so he let the automatic do what it wanted, watching as other drivers made mistakes. The Magistrate was all over the road, the Rosewood picked up some track debris and ended up with a flat, the Seongu slithered like a serpent on the straightaways, all was witnessed from the relative peace of the Bricksley.

When Team “It’s Junk” got hit by Team Schrott Racing and ended up stalling both cars, Rukari swerved to avoid them, lights flashing and siren screaming as the engine produced a savage roar. He fought to keep the blue haze out of the corners of his vision, his twin hearts racing already, trying to keep focused and not let the adrenaline of the hunt get the better of him.

Several cars go into the pit lane, leaving Rukari a little surprised that so many people needed to go almost at the same time. He passed the WRK pickup truck, giving a glance at the rear quarter panel with a malicious grin. Someone was going to get a taste of the nudge bar before he was done.

There was a clattering bang behind him as the Magistrate bounced off of the guardrail, followed by the shriek of tires from the Saarland as it avoided the incident, then passed the brutal Bricksley. Three more cars disappeared for gas, with one re-entering the track in a flurry of wheelspin. Then there was a heavy crash as the Regal and the Seongu had a fender-bender that resulted in a busted hatch window. Rukari looked for a second or two, only to look back and stomp on the brakes, the front wheels shrieking as the Bricksley locked up.

THUD!

The Magistrate, which had been coasting along toward the pits, was in front of Rukari in that moment, getting a firm and impolite smack on the ass from the nudge-bar. Doing the right thing, Rukari pushed the Magistrate into the pit lane with the Grand Warden, driving through and rejoining the track with a bit less plastic protecting the front crash structure.

In all of that, it was good that the Seongu hadn’t bounced off of the Bricksley, though the Saarland had to eat some guardrail to avoid the mess.

More cars end up in the pits, some for parts, some for some panel adjustments.

Rukari caught up to the Rosewood, engine roaring. There was a hint of the blue haze in his vision, and he gave a savage grin as he deliberately put the nudge bar into the Rosewood’s rear quarter panel and drove through it, PIT maneuvering the Rosewood and getting the attention of the crew in the pit lane.

“Okay, Rukari, we’re going to have to take the rest of the plastic off, and you’re done for now,” Kivenaal said.

Both the Bricksley and the Rosewood cruised into the pits, with one car looking way better than the other. Rukari threw the car in park, unlatched the harness, and climbed out of the driver’s seat.

“You are such an idiot, you know that?” Malavera said, shaking both heads. “That was both reckless and dangerous.”

Ahd fun,” Rukari replied, smirking. “They were in way.”

Kivenaal dragged the rest of the front bumper out of the way and nudged Kayden into action. Kayden swallowed the last bite of his sandwich and crawled into the car, pulled the seat forward a notch, and waited for a bit of gas and to watch the Rosewood pop their differential. Then he pulled the gearbox into Drive, hit the sirens and lights again, and punched the gas. The engine bellowed and the car shrieked past the stricken Rosewood in a huge cloud of tire smoke, returning to the track in time to witness the Mons and Union having a crash.

Kayden got on the radio and taunted Team Bubblegum with (@cake_ape) “So, not just did you have a drunken hillbilly paint the car pink for you, you’ve got her driving it, too? I think even Marie would be able to avoid hitting every car on the track.”

As the Magistrate reversed into the pits, and Team Bubblegum put their car onto a trailer, Kayden shook his head and chuckled. He watched as Team “It’s Junk” had a busted coil spring, chuckling as well as they’d had to deal with that last year, too.

It was a while out there with nothing significant going on, other than the fuel draining at an alarming rate thanks to one very, very thirsty V8 engine under the hood with a mild pursuit tune and a chip giving it more power. He cruised by the spinning Seongu, just in time to fly up the pit lane for gas. The Przenopewien pulled in behind them and threw the hood open, fixing an engine issue, while the FM gathered up a brush with the guardrail and a date with the hammer to fix it. As he was leaving, Kayden watched the WRK cruise in for gas.

Right in front of him, the Schnell spun out, sputtering and coughing as it tried to get going again. Then he heard another crash as the Przenopewien sped out of the pit lane and plowed into the back of the Magistrate, forcing Desert Scavengers to have to pit for repairs to their gas tank.

The FM and the Cambridge had a bit of a tangle, returning the FM to the pit lane for more hammer time.

Kayden gripped the wheel and threw the Grand Warden into another turn as the Schwarzburg went in for gas, followed by the Callahan and the Przenopewien doing a little dance on the track, spinning around while avoiding each other. Again, the FM returned to the pit lane for repairs, making Kayden shake his head and get on the radio to them. (@Jaimz68) “You sure he’s able to drive that thing? He’s crashed it twice already bad enough to need hammer time. Might want to save the car.”

A thump and screeching from behind him causes Kayden to put the radio down and look into the mirrors, seeing the Sandhurst riding the guard rail around the corner. “Didn’t realize I was playing Forza,” Kayden grumbled to himself. “What next, someone rams me in the next corner at full throttle?”

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Bubblegum interview: 4 - 6:24 hours

Shortly after the five-hour mark the Bubblegum’s second driver, Vanessa rolls into the pits for refuelling. Caleb takes over and speeds out of the pits with squealing tires and a lot of smoke. He certainly seems on fire and determined to make up some places! In the meantime we have some time to catch up with Vanessa to see how her stint was.

MPR: So Vanessa, can you tell us about your stint behind the wheel?

V: Actually, there is really not that much to tell! It was a bit hectic out there, but I managed to not get tangled up in any calamity.

MPR: Yes, we noticed that you brought the Bubblegum back in one piece - and without any additional scratches or dings!

V: Yes, I am quite pleased! The car held up well too in this stint, so I just kept my head down and circled as fast as I dared! Some of these other drivers sure are scary though! I kind-of wish that the Bubblegum had bigger mirrors too, because I had to swerve not just cars that spun out in front, but also dodge the ones coming up from behind and expecting me to just vanish out of the way!

MPR: So from your experience on the track now, how do you rate the Bubblegum’s chances at a top-ten finish?

V: Actually, it does look like reliability is pretty good so far. The car is not fast, but as long as we can get to the finish line there is a good chance I’d say.

MPR: Thank you Vanessa! I hope you can get some rest before your next stint behind the wheel.


image


The Mons mechanics look on as a slightly smoking Union pulls into the pits area in reverse, followed by the Bubblegum… The pink car seems to have some alignment issue. And by alignment issue, we mean that the front tires are pointing about 20 degrees to the left and one of the rear tires of completely off the ground… this seems to be major trouble. Caleb is having a hard time keeping the car straight, but manages to at least make it back into the pit box.

The mechanics quickly unbolt the body to check what is going on below the skin. By their shaking heads it’s clear that something is clearly very wrong indeed. They quickly make the determination that the repair to the car’s frame requires much larger equipment than what they have available in the small pit box, so signal to race control that the Bubblegum is unfortunately forced to retire from the race. When asked for comment, the mechanics slipped us this hastily drawn image:

Untitled5

After his exit from the car, MPR caught up with Caleb for an interview.

MPR: Hi Caleb, talk us through your race.

C: First of all, I want to apologize to the team, to the mechanics, to Mons Racing, and Team Desert Scavengers of course for causing a collision that resulted in our retirement. It was never my intention to cause such calamity…

MPR: So what happened out there?

C: Well, when I jumped in the car, I immediately felt confident. It was such a large and powerful car, I didn’t even notice how hard I was pushing it. Looking back, I was perhaps just too eager right away, and kept finding the boundaries of what the car can do. Even the few minor slides and out-of-control moments didn’t hold me back… until… well, the accident happened.

MPR: Talk us through that…

C: Sure, well, it is pretty simple really. The Union was coming up behind to lap us again, and I got a little… well… let’s say carried away with the defence. There was a gap, but I made sure it closed fast. Perhaps a little too fast. And the rest is history. Again, I apologize to everyone involved and the people I’ve let down. And I’d also like to thank Mons for giving me this opportunity to drive their car. It was fun while it lasted.

MPR: Thank you Caleb.


There you have it folks. The Bubblegum makes its exit from the 2022 Trafikjournalen 24h race. It was a fun event and Mons Racing is happy to have given three of their fans a chance to try their hand at real racing. With this experience in the books, Mons might reconsider their stance no entering rookies into the event, and taking it a little more seriously next year with a professional squad. Last but not least, Mons would like to thank the organizers of this event for their hospitality and tireless dedication to clunker racing!

4 Likes

Team MCS

Mopey – MAYDAY – MAYDAY – MAYDAY!!!
Spanners – What’s happened?
Mopey – I wanted to go round a bend.
Crackle – And?
Mopey – And the car, well, didn’t, so it’s a bit more dented than it was before.
Spanners – Come in….I’ve got a football and a pump to get the worst of them out……


A short while later


Mopey – MOTHER FU crackles ING SON OF A FU crackles ITCH!
Crackle – How’s it going Georgie?
Mopey – It’s NOT Georgie, it’s….
Crackle – Yeah, we know….How’s it going Mopey?
Mopey – If you weren’t so biiiig then I’d fuck you up sooooo much.
Crackle – I’ll tie BOTH hands behind my back and hop on one….
Spanners – Shut up, both of you! What’s happened?
Crackle – Mopey……
Mopey – CAN YOU STOP CALLING ME MO….
Spanners – SHUT THE FUCK UP BOTH OF YOU. If you don’t then I’ll go piss over someone and get arrested too!!!
Mopey – Piss in the petrol tank of that Cambridge then!
Spanners – Why?
Mopey – They’ve just twatted into me and I’m PISSED OFF!!! I’m coming in for some more reconstructive surgery….
Crackle – Hold that thought………Team Shit Happens is on the radio for you boss….


@Madrias - “You sure he’s able to drive that thing? He’s crashed it twice already bad enough to need hammer time. Might want to save the car.”

Spanners launches the radio at the wall.


Mopey – What did “THEY” want? Hello? Hello? Anyone?

4 Likes

Team Oxracers, Ep. 12: Not rolling over

Previous post

Corazon’s remaining stint behind the wheel of the Seongu so far has been quite uneventful, except for a somewhat erratic steering response on the straights at times. He has settled into a quite comfortable routine going around the track, passing the odd car here and there. And, of course, honking the horn to mock them during the pass - as he had just done with the Régal, for instance, when…

CRUNCH!

As the Kando shudders under a sudden impact, Corazon suddenly is forced to snap out of his trance-like driving (and honking) routine by the sounds of metal-on-metal and glass breaking in a thousand pieces. He angrily yanks at the steering wheel to keep the car stable and turns around to see what has happened.

He has a surprisingly clear view on to the dirty and rusty formerly white Régal directly behind him, as the rear window is now completely shattered and the Régal itself much too close for comfort.

Furiously, he shifts down into second gear and lets the recovering Régal get alongside. Through the still opened driver window he shouts at the Régal driver: “YOU ARE THE EVIL PRINCE OF RACING! BUT NOT EVEN YOU CAN STOP THE DRIVING GOD!” @Karhgath

Undaunted, and without checking whether everything else is okay with the Seongu, he floors the throttle and outbrakes the Régal into the next corner, deliberately giving it another nudge during cornering and then trying to gain some distance quick.

Corazon hears Mary’s voice through the speaker Jane has installed as the sole item of convenience in the Kando’s interior. “Are you okay? What happened?”

Corazon presses the ‘speak’ button. "Arrgh - that idiot in the Régal crashed into me from behind. I am fine and the car seems, too. Just lost the rear window. "

“Let me know if you want to come in. Jane is getting ready for some quickfix.”

“Copy.” A phrase Corazon has always wanted to say in the coolest way possible since having heard it too many times in action movies.

In the following two laps Corazon starts to feel slightly dizzy and has to cough several times. The reason is, of course, an unhealthy mix of gasoline fumes and dust and dirt from the track entering the Kando’s cabin through the strong draft between the open driver window and the gaping hole in the Kando’s tailgate.

“Corazon to Mary. I think we need to fix the rear window after all. Coming in.”

“Alright, Jane will be ready, and Lucas will take over. You are almost at the end of your stint anyway.”

4 Likes

TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN
4 PM-8 PM

At around 4.30 the Saarland rolled into the pits for a refuelling with an at least somewhat satisfied Filip Andersson behind the wheel.

"Hey, it seems like you have learned your lesson since last year", Carlén said.

"Yeah, no more car-pinball", Hansen continued.

"Nah. But I guess this is a bit more relaxed to drive than a torque-steery 80s turbo hatchback.", Andersson said. "And…a bit thirstier."

"60s cast iron pig is going to want its fuel", Hansen said.

"Oh well, it seems like the Callahan needs fuel too.", Andersson said.

"Sure, but it has done…a lot more laps", Carlén sighed.

"Oh well, at least I can see where I am driving, because no hood scoop", Andersson said, now the refuelling was done so he was speeding away again. He was passing the WRK that was struggling a bit on the track, only to see the Union bounce off the guardrail. Steering away from it quickly, he was a bit relieved that it only ended in a close call. Taking out the turn a bit meant that he even could pass the Bricksley. Life was good. Closing in on the korean fridge, he saw that it now had no rear window, deep inside he thought that revenge was a bit sweet, but on the other hand, there was no chance that the Saarland would beat it anyway, so it was kind of pointless to laugh at someone elses accident. Some laps later, it came out from the pits, and he had no chance closing in on it…

…oh yes he had because NOW IT WAS STANDING STILL, which he noticed a bit too late. Stomping on the brakes, the standard ABS on the Saarland meant that it could at least steer away from the disaster-to-be, but the last bit of braking had to be done by the guardrail. Oh, well. Not like anyone would be missing the red bumper anyway. It was getting a bit messy on the track now, but he managed not to involve the Saarland in any major mishaps. The biggest sigh of them all was probably when he was closing in on the Union. Reversing.

“I SO MUCH want to hear the story behind that”, Andersson thought.

"How am I doing?", he asked when it was time for a driver change.

"Not too bad", Carlén said. "You’re in 7th, but only one lap between you and the Cambridge prevents us from falling down to 8th."

"Well, it will happen anyway, because now Captain Slow will be driving", he said, when the Saarland was leaving the pits with Hansen behind the wheel.

"Maybe", Carlén said. "But it has a chance of holding up now, and then if needed, I can try to give all it has to give on the last laps."

TO BE CONTINUED

2 Likes

Team Slow
Part 4- How not to handle an automobile. The Definitive edition


As Matt drives on the track, thinking his name is “The Stig”, he spins out, and can’t help but notice the engine cutting out and sputtering, he checks the fuel gauge and indeed it was getting empty, he then radios Izzy “We’re empty”, she then prepares the fuel filler gun and goes to the side of the car’s fuel cap.

Matt then stops the car in time as he gets into the pits, Izzy starts refuelling the car, within it already looking like a low-budget Formula One, except without the rapid tire changes and all that fancy shit, The car gets filled enough for it to do another set of laps, and Matt drives out of the pits, tires spinning. For a second or two, in the meanwhile Izzy waits for her turn to drive the car.

Izzy then goes onto the radio for our team and she says “How are those tires doing?”, Matt then replies with “They still stick to the road, although they might become butter soon, who knows.”, he continues his driving uninterrupted for the most part, focusing on the track. Still maintaining the team’s third place, Better than last year’s run with the Hakumai mid-engine sports car that’s for sure.

Team If It's Not Punk It's Junk
Since Knugcab thinks this should be the team's name :P

Ox suits up and climbs into the old Wyvern for the next four hour stint. It soon come apparent that the drummer’s quiet demeanor isn’t reflected in his driving style. He starts wringing it through the corners with reckless abandon, hanging the tail out at any given opportunity. This goes on for about 15 minutes until his antics push the car too close to the edge. Ox gets a little too sideways, forcing the car to a near stop. This wouldn’t have been much of an issue if it wasn’t for the fact that the Schwarzburg of Team Schrott was going through the same corner. The two cars have a meeting to discuss the strength’s of their steel in a slightly messy fashion
“Oi! You utter pillock! Who gave you a license, mate? Why don’t you look were you’re going!” Ox yells over to the other driver. This is followed by a string of words that would be a little unsuitable for younger audiences before angerly revving the car back into the race.

The next hour or so goes a bit more smoothly for the Not Punk It’s Junk team. Ox’s driving simmers down a bit after the crash, though no less fast with him setting the team’s quickest lap. The Cambridge begins to sputter and cut out on left hand turns, forcing him to head to the pits. A quick diagnosis reveals that the issue is simply that the car is low on petrol. A quick topping up allows the car to head back out. Ox begins charging hard over the next half hour, trying to make up the lost time for the fill up. Looking to make a pass on Team Spy Kids, he misjudges the closing distance and slams into the rear of them. The screech of metal on metal echoes through the cabin as the Wyvern noses under the Rosewood
“Oh, bugger all!” Ox shouts at his own stupidity, slamming on the brakes two separate the two cars. With both Ox’s ego and the Cambridge’s nose shattered, he starts taken laps a bit more cautiously to avoid further incidents

Two and a half hours on, Ox begins to notice an odd sound coming from the rear “Oh bugger, what the heck is that racket now?” is all he gets to think before he’s interrupted by a loud BANG!
“Oh no. that can’t be good then!” The car feels weird and odd through the remainder of the lap as he limps it back into the pits
“Bad news chaps,” Ox says to the others as he climbs out “I think something may have let go.”
Alyssa tilts her head as she looks at the car “Err, is it just me, or does this thing look a little lopsided?”
Fern begins to pace from side to side, glancing at each side of the Cambridge “Bloody hell, you’re right! What would cause that?” she flops down onto the dirt, looking past the passenger side rear tyre “Oh, I guess that would explain it then. The bloody spring has sheared right in half!”

“Can we fix that?” inquires Alyssa
“Well, certainly,” replies Ox “Provided we can find a new one.” He grabs his phone to search for a replacement as the other two begin to jack up the car to remove the old one. Luck would be on their side, for a local scrapyard has a Wyvern on their lot. Repairs go reasonable smoothly, with only a few blue words and spanners thrown about, but the band loses around 45 minutes on the job. Ox hops back into it and roars out of the pits. He continues his vendetta against the Cambridge’s rear tyres, drifting about the track like a man possessed. Then something completely unexpected happened. Ox’s tail-out antics lead to another contact, this time with Team SCS in their FM. With a chorus of crunching metal and insults, Ox bravely brings the Cambridge back into the pits for the end of his stint

2 Likes

Team Oxracers, Ep. 13: Rolling out again

Previous post

With skidding tyres, the battered Kando comes to a halt slightly outside the Oxracer’s designated pit area, and an angry Corazon jumps out and takes a closer look at the smashed in rear end, joined by Jane.

“What’s the main problem, Corazon?”

“Stuff comes into the cabin. Dust, fumes etc.” He makes some wild gestures. “Everything else is fine.”

“Okay, let me think. Good thing I took that skill point in improvisation.” After a short deliberation, she waves to Michael and Mary to join her next to her Saarland Siegel full of tools and parts.

Meanwhile, Lucas emerges, slightly anxious for his first driving stint. “How was it out there?”, he wants to know from Corazon.

“Tough. Brutal.” Corazon is searching for words to describe the experience. “Like a knife fight at 200 mph!”

Michael must have overheard Corazon’s words from some distance away. “You are barely reaching a hundred, and that only for a short time if you nail that long left hander!”, he shouts back from the Saarland, irritated. Lucas suddenly looks much more relieved after the initial scare.

Corazon continues unfazed. “And there are always new opponents, they never stop appearing.” His expression suddenly brightens. “But if you know what you are doing, they are actually easy to deal with.”

“So like in a beat’em up arcade game?” Lucas wonders.

Before Corazon can reply, Jane and the others return with a large piece of transparent plastic, duct tape and some tools.

“What do you want to do with the… is that plastic wrap from some of your tools packaging?” Lucas wonders.

“Make you a new rear window”, Jane quips and directs Michael and Mary to the opposite sides of the Kando and how they should hold the piece of plastic, as she cuts off large strips of duct tape. “You already get in the car, this won’t take long”, she announces with confidence.

Lucas dutifully obeys while Corazon grabs something to eat and drink.

After a short while, Jane gives Mary the okay sign, and the latter sends Lucas onto the track with an encouraging slap on the Kando’s roof, the new plastic rear window flapping about ever so slightly but staying in place, and largely doing its job.

Lucas pilots the Kando out of the pits and tries to settle into a decent rhythm - which proves to be more difficult than in the practice runs due to the traffic of varying speeds on track - and also due to various mishaps and chain reactions that occur in front of him.

After a few laps, he almost hits the Bricksley as they have to brake hard due to the Union going unexpectedly slow. “Good thing I chose Luck as my special skill”, thinks Lucas. “That was a close roll, er, call.”

He continues on undaunted and seems to have a much clearer track in front of him for a while, as many cars dive into the pits for refuelling or short repairs. He slowly tries to get closer and closer to the limit in each corner… until he finally runs out of track, skill and luck and after a couple of uncoordinated yanks on the steering wheel ends up facing the wrong way - at least on the side of the track, out of harms way.

He taps the communication button on the Kando’s dash. “Sorry, folks. Looks like my beginner’s luck has run out.”

“Keep calm and drive on”, Mary says encouragingly. She considers printing that on a t-shirt for Lucas for next time.

3 Likes

Team Prognosis Negative

Chapter V - If you’re a punk, you drive a junk


Johan was looking at the Callahan in the rearview mirror (the only working mirror, quite lucky to have one).

“This is going to be an EPIC battle!!!” he thought.

As he maneuvered into the corner, he imagined himself triumphally holding on to the relentless assault of the boy racer behind. They’d fight tooth and nail, get in a few scrapes, but Johan would emerge victorious! A King!

As soon as he came out of his reverie, he realized that the Callahan was already way ahead of him, going too fast to catch up.


*on the radio*

Johan - “(long strings of expletives)!!!”

Anton - “You good!? You were right in front the pits and we did not see anything?”

Johan - “That stupid Callahan just passed me, I don’t even remember what happened.”

Anna - “Well I saw him slow down when he passed you, did he say anything??”

Johan - “(a bit less expletives), now he’s gonna pay the next time he comes by!!”


*10 minutes later*

The Callahan appeared in the rearview mirror. This time he was ready, it was Johan’s chance to shine and really defend his position…

And the Callahan accelerated and honked as it lapped him out of a corner, effortlessly...

Hello darkness my old friend…
The Callahan has now lapped the Régal 2 times.


*10 minutes later*

#66 right behind him. Johan had fire in his eyes, he’s gonna eat that POS for breakfast…

And Johan missed his downshift and the Callahan easily outmaneuvered him...

Hello darkness my old friend…
The Callahan has now lapped the Régal 3 times.


*30 minutes later*

Johan was furious as he saw the glimmer of the Callahan’s hood scoop.

“Not this time buddy!!” he shouted.

He did better this time and defended his position for a few corners, but ultimately...

Hello darkness my old friend…
The Callahan has now lapped the Régal 6 times.


*25 minutes later*

Johan was so concentrated on replaying the last few laps where the Callahan lapped him again, that he underestimated the breaking distance in front of him and …

 * THUNK *
 * CRASH *
 * SHATTER *

“Fuck!” he shouted. He rearended the leader, the ugly little hatchback from team Oxracers. Glass shards flew in all direction. That was a nasty hit. How can this thing fly across the track so fast, is it those humongous tires it is sporting? For sure this was unintended… but Johan was so full of rage depression and self loathing that he quickly cheered up!

“I thought you were faster than that!!” he shouted at the Seongu in front. @AndiD

As if the driver in front heard him, he slowed down until they were side-by-side. The dark-haired driver was in full professional racing suit - it looked brand new out of an Halloween supply store. As the window rolled down, all Johan could hear was the other guy shouting:

YOU ARE (unintelligible) PRINCE OF RACING! (unintelligible) YOU CAN STOP (unintelligible) GOD!

“DAMN RIGHT I AM THE PRINCE OF RACING, DIPSHIT!” Johan shouted back, not realizing he went from King to Prince in about an hour. By the time this is over, he might be down to being a Jester.

As he got invigorated by this exchange and well needed action, he was feeling invincible… Until the Seongu expertly outmaneuvered him in the next corner.

You can guess what happened next...

image

(At least it was not the Callahan…)


on the radio

Anton - “Are you good, we heard some action in there and saw the Seongu coming back in the pit, you seem to have made quite an, erhm, impression?!”

Johan - “All good, a few scrapes in front, but this car is a tank! If you see the driver, tell him the Prince stops for no one, he should get out of the way next time!!!”

Anna - “Focus on driving Johan!! You are making progress, you are 5th since the FM stopped for refueling!!”

Johan - “But that Callahan…”

Anton - “Forget about it buddy, he’s way too fast for you, we’re no match…”

Johan - “Why? We this puppy we should be leading the pack!! This is a legendary car made for a prince!”

Anton looked at Anna, wondering if they should tell him. Nah, his time’s nearly up, he’s probably gonna come soon for a refuel and a switch, but Anton wondered how dangerous he could be in the pits with him and Anna away on the track.

Anton shuddered.

What could happen until then anyway…

35 minutes later, after the Callahan lapped Johan 4 more times

Forgetting momentarily his “epic failure battle” against the Callahan, he was in an actual real battle with the Sandhurst … until he missed a corner and Johan goes wide, slowing down traffic behind him. The Sandhurst did not wait for Johan to regain control and clipped him as the Régal went merry-go-round on the track.

As the Régal was spinning slowly, more cars crashed and bumped each others behind as they tried to hastily get through.

Johan was not amused...

image

… but he finally regain control and passed most of the cars involved as they went in for repairs. The Régal was still standing.

With everything that happened, he really did not see the Callahan coming in hot and doing what it does best…

Lapping the Régal...

Hello darkness my old friend…
The Callahan has now lapped the Régal 11 times.


40 minutes later, on the radio

Johan - “I’m gonna come in, bit tired and the needle is getting pretty low.”

Anna - “Ok I am ready to take over! We’re 4th right now but I will probably come out in 5th or 6th…”

As she finished her sentence, the Callahan snuck by…

... and lapped Johan again.

Hello darkness my old friend…
The Callahan has now lapped the Régal Johan a total of 15 times. About time we end this misery for him

The Régal slowly crept in the pits. Surprisingly in good shape.

As Anna got in and Johan cooled off by uttering profanity, Anton looked at the board. They’ll probably come out 5th after this… but, how is this even possible? Johan is not a professional driver and the car is supposed to be an old 4x4 wagon, nothing spectacular. Sturdy, sure, but fast??

He came back to reality as Anna accelerated out of the pits. One. Two, Three, Four. Five. Six. Seven? How fast did the car get to 100 km/h?!

Anna - “Oh. My. God. This thing accelerates like a beat, I did 0-100 in about 7 seconds!!!”

How is this possible, thought Anton? He glanced at Josef, also sporting a surprised face.

Josef - “Should be closer to 10 seconds, not 7. Something fishy.”

Johan missed this important piece of the puzzle, still oblivious about the true nature of the car… or was he really?

More importantly, they all missed another important clue. We’ll find out later.

stay tuned for more

4 Likes

Team Shift Happens; the human side of things

OOC: once again, not race-cricital, hence hidden, read if you want, but nobody can force you :smiley:

The actual text

With the first four hours having passed, Valentin’s phone emitted a faint, but still noticeable “pling”, upon which he pulled out said phone.
It displayed a calendar reminder, containing info on what he was to do regarding physical recovery.

“Excuse me for about an hour or so. I’ll head out back and do some therapy stuff…”, Valentin announced to the others, before getting out of his chair and leaving the garage out the back door.
This left Norse to be the only human in the entire Shift Happens pit area. Having nothing better to do, he went about the place trying to learn something about his teammates.
A few laps around the garage later, he eventually stops somewhere near the twins of Kaylie and Kayden, mentally fumbling with words before mustering up some courage to speak to them:

“So… the car’s doing good?”, he asked meagerly trying to get something in the way of small-talk off the ground. After all, a group of bipedal animals was a new experience even for the open-minded Norse.

When Norse approached with a question about whether the car was doing good, Kaylie smiled and turned to face him. “Yeah, looks like it’s holding up well. Rukari is our most aggressive driver, but it seems like he’s not yet ready to trash the car,” Kaylie said.

“For now. I saw him threaten to spin out the Rogue Traders’ pickup. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decides to use the nudge bar for a bit of “fun” out there,” Kayden added.

“How are you doing?” Kaylie asked. “I know it can be a bit boring in the pits if the car’s doing well out there.” For a brief moment, she checked to make sure her plain titanium ring was still on her left ring finger, still a little new to it and not wanting to risk losing it already, then looked back out at the track as she heard a crash, noticing two competing teams had crashed into each other. “Well, that was predictable. Those “If it’s not Punk, it’s Junk” guys seem to drive like junk,” Kaylie said.

“Not sure why i agreed to this, to be honest. There’s nine of us here. I don’t think nine people are necessary to watch a car go round a blown-up go-kart track.”, Norse replied as he watched the remaining teams do lap after lap, occasionally bumping into each other or spinning out.

“Plus, i wouldn’t call myself a ‘petrolhead’ or anything… Like i don’t even have a license…”, he added while sheepishly scratching his head.

Kaylie chuckled. “Yeah, there’s a lot of us, and we’re capable of fixing most issues on the car without too much trouble,” Kaylie admitted. “Still, it’s better than lounging around in Nevada with nothing to do but fix customers’ cars and count cacti all day.”

When Norse mentioned he didn’t have a license, Kaylie added, “There’s no shame in not having a license. You live in an area that supports cycling a hell of a lot better than where we’re living. And if it wasn’t for the fact that we need them for our jobs, well… I know I wouldn’t have bothered getting my license, and I know for a fact Jayde only got his because I insisted he do so. Otherwise, he’d have kept on cruising around on his city bike, or his new custom-frame road bike, and never bothered getting behind the wheel of a vehicle.”

Kayden chuckled. “He got a bit of a crash course in driving earlier in the year, and Valentin managed to teach him to drive stick.”

“Yeah, and you should have taken him up on lessons,” Kaylie quipped to her brother. “After all, “Customer states the engine revs, but the car goes nowhere.” I pull the transmission off and it looks like a bomb went off while attached to the flywheel.”

Kayden grimaced. “Yeah, that was my bad.”

“That was also your second clutch,” Kaylie added.

“Possibly… Never been to the States.”, Norse remarked as they mentioned that it was better than being in Nevada.
“And i’d like to get a license simply because of career opportunities, but holy hell they are expensive here…”, he added.

As the two twins kept going about ‘customer states’ and ‘clutches’ and ‘how to drive stick’, Norse looked completely lost, never having sat in the driver seat of a car, let alone actually driven one.

Kaylie looked over and realized Norse seemed lost. “Let me guess: Never actually driven before?”

When Norse shook his head, Kaylie smiled.

“It’s not a problem. We got here a while ago and had to learn the hard way. Our first experience was a cross-country trip in an old Sinistra Traville, and we didn’t even understand how the climate controls worked,” Kaylie said. “We had to learn everything. How to maintain a car, how to fix it when things break. Ended up opening a garage to fix cars for other people once we had it figured out.”

“How could i? It’s hard to go to a driving course rink-thing where unlicensed people can at least try their hand at it when your monthly disposable income fits into two digits… That’s the reason i cycle to begin with. It’s simply cheaper than any other transit method, barring walking…”, he replied, turning imaginary pockets inside out to exemplify the point that he’s broke.

“Anyway…”, he said, pulling out is run-down phone to look through the incoming call logs. “So you were the one… ones? Having called me half a year ago about Val?”

Kaylie chuckled. “We had… A friend of ours place the call, but yes, we were there. We’re the reason you asked if you were on speaker-phone,” Kaylie admitted.

“So about that ‘event’ Val was apparently part of. Mind telling me about it? Val kept his cards close to his chest and seemed rather… disappointed in how it went.”, Norse inquired.

“Oh, not a problem. We had been rolling this idea around for a while to do a long-distance cross-country event of our own. We called it, fittingly enough, “Shitbox Rally.” Show up with a $2000 car or one worth an equivalent amount in the local currency of your area, bring a team and supplies to survive the wilderness. Unlike a lot of similar cross-country events, we went with the idea of stages, where everyone regroups each night and camps together,” Kaylie admitted.

“Let’s just say it’s fucking boring on long trips when you’re out of radio range of anyone else for days,” Kayden added. “This limited that problem to just part of a day at a time.”

“Well, things were… Chaotic. One, we had a way bigger turnout than we expected. I thought we’d get maybe four or five teams,” Kaylie said, “and we ended up with 17, ourselves included.” She paused to think for a moment, then said, “We had a night stage that wasn’t pleasant, caused by someone stirring up a bit of the local wildlife and, well… That didn’t help any of it.”

“Then Val had a catastrophic failure and had to fix the car,” Kayden said, being deliberately vague so as to not drag Val’s fame into the forefront of the conversation, “and ran the rest of the race with a backyard fix.”

Kaylie smiled, then continued with, “We had a couple of interesting teams out there. A bunch of people who, quite honestly, spent a lot of their camp time keeping their drunken lady under control. She painted their van the most wild shade of pink I’ve ever seen. I swear, it was so violently pink that Takaraya over there would be able to see it. She also drank a lot of alcohol. Including some of Rukari’s rather potent moonshine. There were a few cool cars in the group. One really nice rally-inspired Dauer that looked awesome, but kinda sucked on most of the stages. A Union Magistrate wagon that looked like hell by the end. Couple boring SUVs.”

“Of course, there were also problems. One team got sent home early for driving a stage drunk. Another team had a fatal crash. Thankfully, they were the only two really-bad events, other than the wildlife problem,” Kayden admitted.

“Oh, and Valentin towed our truck for a few stages with a Dione. We blew up the engine,” Kaylie added.

“Doesn’t sound too bad… though i have no say here, not being able to go vacationing and all… Best i managed was three days off to do the Vätternrundan event.”, he said, letting out a mild sigh as he had been stuck in a never-ending loop between work, cycling and home duties. While this was a somewhat sustainable balance of work, sleep and leisure, he did have a desire for some more adventurous stuff away from work.

“We thought the event was a good bit of fun, but… It was tough as hell. On one hand, waking up each day to something new was exciting. On the other hand, tropical hell was tropical hell, and breakdowns just made that worse,” Kaylie said.

“That, and the jet-lag was real bad. Everyone was tired. Well, except Malavera, but that’s just because he sleeps every-other-day,” Kayden added.

“Is it like in Asia or something?” Norse inquired. “Val told me that, too. The jet-lag, that is…”

Norse then pondered a bit about the nature of the event at large, his mind going from japan scenic landscape drive, over to what amounts to the Top Gear vietnam special but with cars, eventually ending in a Chinese version of the cannonball run.

“Something like that,” Kaylie said with a smile. “The landscape was beautiful at times, but driving it was definitely wild. Hell, in one stage, several of us were matching pace with the local trains on dirt and gravel and cobblestone roads barely suitable for animal-drawn carts.”

“Days felt really long on the trip,” Kayden added. “I think part of it was just the fatigue from all of the driving and some less-than-stellar nights. Hell, I don’t know how Kivenaal managed to keep going through it. He has… Some issues with PTSD. I think being in the forests there made it hard for him to sleep.”

“Was asking because even Google Maps doesn’t seem to know where the biggest city is. Val told me something about it being called ‘Trugarde’, but looks like it’s some local name not used elsewhere…
Do you often do such trips?”, Norse replied, digging deeper and seeming highly interested in that place. Wherever that may be.

Kaylie startled ever-so-slightly as Norse mentioned Val had told him about Trugarde, though almost immediately regained her composure. “Yeah, that’s a local city name in their language. Center of their railroad network. Had a big party there, but it was one hell of a bust. I don’t think anyone there actually enjoyed it,” Kaylie said.

“We did the one trip as a trial run, things worked out well enough, so we’re planning another one next year. Kivenaal and Rukari were scouting locations, but getting answers out of them can be very, very difficult. They want to preserve the mystery of the new location. About the most we’ve gotten so far is that it’ll be cold at the start, and end in the warmth,” Kayden added. “We’re hoping for a yearly event.”

Jayde looked over and joined the three of them. “How are things going over here?” he asked. “Heard the mention of Trugarde, and, well,” Jayde smiled, before speaking a phrase in Gand that pretty much no one in earshot would understand, and following it with, “I spent a while there. Wasn’t born there, but spent a good part of my life there.”

“Jayde joined us for the journey, decided to come home with us,” Kaylie admitted. She grabbed his left hand with hers and smiled, then added, “We got married recently.”

As Kayden explained that they are kind of planning on another run next year, Norse’s eyes lit up in optimism and excitement. He didn’t say a word, only staring back at them like a little kid that really wants to go on the big rollercoaster, eventually breaking his silence and going back to ‘normal’ once the marriage was mentioned.

“Congratulations you two!”, he said, his eyes going back and forth between Kaylie and Jayde. “Imma head back in. Not used to a grid of cars, most of which fart-canned…”

He then politely nodded before turning around and heading back in.

“Yeah, most of these cars are obnoxious,” Jayde replied. “Including ours.”


5:30 PM

As Valentin returned from his therapy, Takaraya motioned to him to come closer. “I could use a bit of help here with the sandwiches, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Uhm… sure.”, he replies, taking a moment to loosen up some joints before heading over to Takaraya.

Takaraya smiled, grabbing the heavy pack containing their food supplies, setting it onto a nearby table and opening it up. He pulled out bread, butter, tomatoes, lettuce, bacon to be cooked, and steak to cook as well, followed by a couple of knives, a stainless-steel cutting board and a cast iron pan. He then set up the gas burner on top of the table, perching the pan on top.

“You and your friend Njordal, both of you are fine with these items?” Takaraya inquired. When Valentin nodded, Takaraya smiled. “I’ll handle the cooking if you stack up the sandwiches. Don’t worry about them looking great, it’s just food.”

Takaraya turned on the gas to the burner, turned the knob up, then sighed, grabbed one of the butter knives, and struck the knife across the back of his left hand, throwing sparks at the burner, which caused it to erupt with the usual blue flames. “Sorry, I don’t carry matches. Or lighters. Tobacco smoke makes me feel ill,” Takaraya mentioned, setting down the knife and settling his cast iron pan over the fire.

While the pan was warming up, he grabbed a sharp knife and started cutting thin slices of tomato and making a nice pile of them for Valentin, who was slowly, but steadily buttering bread. After cutting the tomatoes, he moved quickly to rinse off his knife, then used it to cut up the lettuce as well. By that point in time, Takaraya noticed that Valentin was struggling a bit to keep up with the butter. “Sorry, Valentin. I do this a lot back home for the crew. I’ve gotten fast at some of it,” Takaraya admitted.

When Valentin gave a light shrug, Takaraya chuckled. “You’d be surprised how helpful an extra set of hands can be, especially ones that aren’t covered in fur,” he said. He opened the packages of steak, placing several into the hot pan.

“Do you have any objections to medium-rare steak?” Takaraya asked.

Takaraya’s question had Valentin puzzled. He simply quips back a confused “Pardon?” as he tries to figure out what is meant by “medium-rare”.

Takaraya flipped the steaks over, then asked, “Do you know how done you prefer your steaks to be? If you don’t, that’s okay. If you’ve got a preferred temperature, I have a thermometer I can check with. Have to do that regardless.”

“You can cook them at various temperatures beyond ‘hot’?”, Valentin answered, looking even more confused as he looked at the steaks in the pan fizzling away.

Takaraya gave a light nod. “There are some who prefer a steak closer to rare, where there’s potentially a little more blood on their plate. And some who prefer their steak “well done” where it’s cooked quite thoroughly. Well done is typically the safe bet, but some claim it ruins the flavor.”

Takaraya’s explanation did little in clearing up Valentin’s confusion.
“Uhm… Does a steak even go onto a sandwich?”, he said, trying to avoid having steak altogether.

“It can, but it doesn’t have to. I don’t mind working around that. About the only thing I’d have to know is how you prefer your bacon, and that’s a simple question: Crispy, or not crispy?” Takaraya said. He grabbed the thermometer, checked the three steaks there in the pan, and pulled each of them out, setting them on three of Valentin’s buttered slices of bread.

“About as crispy as you can get without setting it alight,” Valentin answered, relieved about at least being able to provide some useful information.

Takaraya chuckled. “I see we have a similar preference, then.” As Valentin chuckled as well, Takaraya smiled.

It didn’t take long before the steaks were all done, and with most of the sandwiches filled up with steak, leaving two sandwiches without one, Valentin started putting tomatoes and lettuce onto each of the sandwiches while Takaraya started the bacon. As the bacon was cooked to the extra-crispy texture they both wanted, he started scooping it out of the pan, giving Val’s and Norse’s sandwiches a double-helping of bacon in replacement for the steak. Once he was finished cooking, Takaraya turned the burner off, loading the rest of the sandwiches with a smaller amount of bacon and watching as Val put the top slice of bread on each of them. He set the hot pan on top of the toolbox to keep it from being easily bumped by accident, then called out across the pit lane, “Dinner is ready!”

It didn’t take long for the crew to set their tools down and wander over, each grabbing sandwiches and taking hungry bites. Kivenaal made a bit of a spectacle of himself, grabbing the still-hot pan off of the toolbox and putting it on the burner, making a personal batch of fries with a sandwich in one hand, a water bottle in another, and grabbing a plastic drink cup with a third hand to put his fries into it. He reached into a pocket and grabbed a box of matches, setting the cup down long enough to strike a match and relight the burner.

Takaraya finished his sandwich, washed it down with a fair amount of water, then tucked a tea bag into his mouth and chewed it lightly, enjoying the flavor.

4 Likes

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Race: Preparation for third life and i shitted in my food

Preparation for third life

Klimentol had thought long and hard, then decided.
“We are taking car off platform, going to work on it fair bit. Gonna make a call…Mat, whats phone number of your father and does he have cargo van at his disposal?”
“Why you want to know these?”
“Bcos i have plan, you are about last person to be affected by it.”
“Fine. I dont know about van but i do know phone of father.”
(Information was passed and phone was used)
“Hello, here is Klimentol, one of teammates of your son on 24h Clunkers. I want to ask few favours of you. We need some stuff delivered here, which requires van…”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…i knew this house was haunted. And to think we could have gotten better…im woman with dignity, even tho without clothes.”
“You…listen to music while showering? From phone? Music had stopped the moment i started speaking?”
Mat: Dude wtf
Klimentol continued regardless
“I called you through phone, there are no ghosts. This is phone call, i cant see you. Also, Mat gave this number.”
“OH im sorry for too much info and reaction. You would get correct person if not for fact he decided to leave work phone at home. And he has nice Spotify playlist i wanted to check out, soooo…”
“Understood. Have a nice day.”
(To Mat)“I never thought i would talk to naked female via phone…not exactly proud of fact this one happened to be your mom”
Mat: “Again wtf.” but he kept cool enough for Klimentol to explain, which decreased tensions.


Phone ringed about 10 minutes later. This time, other side was correct parent.
Klimentol answered
“I see your wife called. Im once again sorry for disturbing her…”
“No need, had a good laugh out of her explanation. Now, you needed me for something, what that may be?”
-It may be the fact that our brake disc had cracked so we would need new one.
Mat and dad simultaneously: Thats not how it works in that race…
-Let me finish. We have plans for car…uhm, beyond racing. It technically survived this race as in most of important stuff works fine or seems to do so.
As such, we will do extensive checkup on it and would require fair bit of stuff hauled to here. If you can grab some sort of cargo van, good. If said van gets filled with interior parts for 1977 Saguaro T-REE, even better.
-Does that mean…
-Yes, we are returning it back to streets. After all, i must admit we dont actually have some car we can truly call ours. Might start up such experience with this.
-Understood. I will need some time to see if we can find something and will get back to you in few hours.
-We will check car itself to see if it needs something else as well.
-Ok. We will keep in touch.

Call has ended and Klimentol was satisfied.
Now car would be subject to more detailed inspection

This nice list (thanks Knug and pls continue to do this in future Clunkers) shows issues Saguaro had upon arriving on track to some extent.
Red dots show ones that were discovered during preparation or via usage of car before racing
Enough driving was done to notice bad handling due to tires and less than ideal steering. Aydar lifted car fair few times, which highlighted fact of rust on underside

Pink dot was…well, just read rest of this paragraph…
Either way, during this new inspection oxidized contacts came into greater light, but this needed just basic cleaning of said contacts with small amounts of brake cleaner, which was brought via unknown means.
Due to fuel pump issue done during race, hood was opened and there was lot of poking around to see what was problem. So there was enough to suspect said contacts

Dots marked with blue express some issue that had kinda appeared during usage, but cant be pinpointed to any specific part.
Ofc author of this post and Knug were aware of fuel injection being troubling from very beggining and now this knowledge is passed onto you, reader.
But noone in team would be aware and so, even for slightest of time, fuel injection isnt only culprit for some hiccups experienced during previous usage.

As for stuff without any dots…here is why its unknown in its entirety
Cooling clogging will prob await better times to be revealed, since experiences with car were obtained in Sweden, which isnt known for particularly high ambient temperatures.
Bad behaving brakes may as well be due to bad/old tires
Both of issues remain undiscovered also due to lack of actual hard usage by team: driving on streets would hardly reveal brake fade or cooling troubles, especially if pace is decreased to account for old tires still on car.
As for race itself…well, there were lot of pit visits due to reasons outlined by hosts which could allow fair bit of cooling down of both affected systems.


-I have returned. My wife says hi as well, for ones that are concerned.
Person on other side of phone chuckled
-Im happy to report that apart from already established stuff, we need nothing more. Also consider that hi received; i gladly return the favour.
-Nice. Back to business in hand: brake disc was easy to find and everything that could be found of interior would be driven to you.
I expect my son to be at best of his behaviour when i arrive there.
-Ok, we are looking forward to you, our friend…although i imagine Mat would prefer to call you dad.
-That…wildly depends on situation. But either way, we will talk next time in person.
-What are your predictions on time
-About 6 hours: you know yourself trip is lengthy and there are some roadworks along the way…(When i was typing part where team arrived on track i looked into potential routes through Google Maps and there were indeed roadworks)
But just few details and we are ready to go.
-Ok see you soon

Call ended

I shitted in my food

Now we are turning attention to big guy who spent good amount of time sleeping.
He had repositioned himself fair few times which was sometimes visible and audible through metal plates of platform moving and screeching, although likely noone took much of attention to that.

Gromadon had many nice dreams during this time and well, every good boy needs to eat after nice dream, right?
So he decided to take some food.
Bite was taken and it felt…weird…up until his senses of taste and smell fully kicked in.


Rest of team had kinda enjoyed unraveling of race, being as exciting as you could imagine.
It was both sad and nice to see that they werent only ones to retire from event
Ok, comforting would prob explain the emotion better than just nice…but point is made either way.

Someone noted that for some reason, Gromadon needed to jump with platform on top of him.
This was big event due to big forces involved in moving several tonnes upwards and little bit to the side.
They didnt needed long to figure out potential reason for this strange behaviour


Rather logically, Gromadon went straight to them, still being under platform.
“I SHITTED IN MY FOOD!!!” strong voice announced in Serbian.
-We see…
-Also, its very smelly in here…
Klimentol: I will accompany you towards some woods where we can open the thing for ventilation and you can get some fresh air.
I dont envy Aydar on getting…shittier part of job.
-I didnt said anything and my dad is too young for me to clean after him.
-We needed to improvise…

And so dogs climbed onto platform and returned back to parking lot.
Aydar had indeed jumped off near “bowls” to clean/remove smelly bit from one of them.
Klimentol and Gromadon went exploring on what Sweden can provide in terms of forests, where Gromadon left his place from under the platform.
In fact, he decided to observe race from afar, trying to not get too close to objects like cars or buildings.

After fair amount of time, he returned back in place under platform and returned to parking.
Aydar had removed shit and Gromadon would settle once again.

Dogs had pissed each other off and then needed to be washed out by water to not smell like piss (and shit in case of Aydar).

Ones that are not on track

Manager of supermarket decided that race isnt that interesting. Well, we decided that from now on, he isnt interesting either

Girl is still following race with great care: in some cases ofc care being greater than the others. And no, she didnt exactly care that neither Union or Bricksley positioned themselves particularly high.

Workplace in Stockholm had largely returned to normal, if we excuse going through inventory and packing some of it in van, usually intended for mobile service. Said van will be driven to Holjes to deliver said stuff to…well, team covered in these posts in fact.

We also have certain duo travelling by foot through Stockholm. We arent going to try explaining how they came here or how they heard about what they wanted to know…but they are here and do know.
They had searched on first place they could think off, only to be directed towards certain dealer of Kolondras.
There was lot to uncover here upon arrival and they did looked around for their…family? Friends? We shall know soon.
Somehow, even tho neither of these two knew speaking Swedish, they were able to communicate their request (it does help one of them has son born in this country).
Duo will be returning back and not necessarily in this section of post :wink:

4 Likes
Team If It's Not Punk It's Junk
Some in-between race rp between @Knugcab and myself

the start of a race is an exciting, hectic time. Last minute repairs, double checking things are set up the way you want them to, the red mist that falls when the green flag begins to wave. But once the racers find there groove and the minutes begin to pass, the interest for those in the pits begins to wane. This is were we find Iggy Hill, itching for something a little more exciting than just hanging about the paddock in case the car comes in with issues

“Ight,” he states to the others “I’mma go head to the loo. Alyssa, Ox, you two are in charge. Keep a eye on the kiddo, aye? Make sure she don’ cause too much chaos ou are.”
He wanders the paddock for a while, eyeing up the other teams. He chuckles to himself at the costumes the Team Shift Happens are wearing “Now 'hat be some dedication to a theme,” he thinks to himself as he goes past
“Must be hot wearin’ all that fur. And how is that one operatin’ all those arms? Cor.”
His walk brings him past a pit decorated with the Trafikjournalen logo. Iggy’s curiosity to get the better of him, so he pop’s in to check it out
“Oi! Aren’t ye the lot puttin’ on this race?” he shouts at the people there

Mats Hansen was looking to see who was shouting. When he saw the survivor from the 70s UK punk scene he tried not to laugh too much, and after all, he looked kind of normal compared to some other people here.

“Yeah, more or less so, yes. Can I help you with something?”

Iggy walks over and claps Mats on the back
“Cor! Quite the banger you puttin’ on ere!” he thrusts out his hand to Mats “I am Iggy, be the one runnin’ the Cambridge out air. Err, say, you wouldn’t happen o be any good with carburetors, aye? Seems ours is a bit knickered.”

Mats presents himself and listens to Iggy’s description of his vehicle troubles.
“Well, I guess that I have at least some knowledge, what’s the matter with yours?”

Iggy gives Mats a blank stare “Is wha I said, it’s a bit buggered. Not somethin’ I’ve had to deal wit since my Cambridge Mite got torched in '87.”

Mats slowly starts to wonder if Iggy has been smelling some weird substances in his life.
“Yeah, you know that it is buggered but you don’t know anything more exactly than that, I see… so, what made you draw the conclusion that it was buggered to start with?”

“Ight, you see, the ting’s been sitting for years from wha I can tell. Gods knows when Ox’s pops got the thing. And it seems to once been owned by a bunch of lobbos before im, tweaked it all up. Bloody thing won’ work in a smooth way.”

“Ah, such a carb”, Mats sighed. “Some people should not even be allowed to do repairs on a ballpoint pen, don’t know how many examples I have seen that has been totally messed up by idiots, but they are plenty…”

“Aye, know wat you mean. Nearly caught me death fixin’ up an amp the kiddo blew out last week. Hadn’t fel a kick like that since tourin’ with the Clash in '85!”

Now neither Mats Hansen or Erik Carlén could keep themselves from laughing anymore. Both of them laughed until they struggled to get air. This man was a goddamned survivor, he should have been put on museum or something.“Oh…right.”, Mats said after having recovered from his laughter attack.

Iggy flashes them a crooked smile as they laugh “Anyway, probably won’t be able to look at it til lil Fern comes in from her stint.” he hawks and gobs before continuing “So, any of you got somethin to drink?”

“Unfortunately not”, Mats said, knowing that he probably wasn’t asking for water or a Fanta. “We will all be driving in this race, so…”

Iggy cocks an eyebrow at this response “Ain’t ya supposed to stay hydrated during a race? Ought I read that somewhere…” he pauses, a thought coming to him “Oi! Ya weren thinkin I was lookin for an ale or something, no?” he let’s out a chuckle “Haven touched the stuff since lil Fern was born!” Iggy leans in towards the two conspiratorial like “Though a do fancy the o’asional cheeky smoke, but don’t be telling the missues bout that.” he let’s out a laugh

“Yeah, sure we have some water if that’s all you’re asking for”, Mats said, with Erik trying not to start laughing again in the background. “In fact, not only will you get some water, I can spill it up in the most beautiful cup someone has ever offered you”, he said with a somewhat whimsical smile, and started to fill up his dear “IP Owners club Sweden” cup for him.

Iggy takes the cup, eyeing it questionly “IP owners, are ye? Thought I saw you lot racing one of those big, borin’ things. Saarland oe something or nother?”

“Nah, only me”, Mats said, “the other ones are laughing at my fanatism, haha. Yes, we’re racing a Saarland this year.”

“Pretty big for a racer, won you say so?” He takes a sip “Though, seems there be a few other bigguns out there as well.”

“Yeah”, Mats laughed. “And it is a 2.6 so it has the cast iron inline six that is basically the same as the one they came out with in the mid 60s, front heavy is it’s middle name I guess.”

“I suppose it can’t be no worse than our Cambridge, small sports coupe with a bloody big three litre up front!” He laughs “Right, anyways, wha was it I came here for…? Bollocks. Probably wasn’t important! Best of luck to ya out there a any rate, aye?” Iggy shakes Mats and Erik’s hands before heading off

“I wonder if he even knew why he was coming here to start with”, Mats said to Erik scratching his head.

3 Likes

PART 3
8 PM-MIDNIGHT

Eight hours into the race, three down, thirteen still running. Right now everything seems relatively calm, though, almost empty in the pits except for a refuelling Union. Team Slow and Team Schrott racing seems to have some kind of argument about who is going to drive where on the track, which costs both of them some time, but at least there is no contact between the cars.

The Przenopewien is going into the pits since it seems like the wiring they patched up for the new alternator is too dodgy to reliably work, so they have to redo the wiring correct this time. With the Seongu going in for a fuel stop, every car now has refuelled at least once. The front heavy Saarland is once again showing off how something seems to be able to both understeer and oversteer through the same corner, comical for the observer maybe but costs some time. The FM and Sandhurst is slowed down by being unable to pass the not-very-fast-through-the-bends Saarland.

Team Desert scavengers is entering a corner with a bit too much confidence, spinning around the Union, which means that the Przenopewien has to brake kind of hard. The Saarland is going in for a refuelling. Team Slow seems to think that it might be a nice idea to crash into the WRK of Team Rogue Traders, but it proves to be a very bad idea instead sine the Schnell needs to go to the pits for some serious panel beating.

Oh, Jesus…this is really a showoff between David and Goliath. No, we aren’t getting biblical here, but it is somewhat funny that the Bricksley hits the Seongu in a manner that mostly makes the little hatchback spin around without too much damage while the Bricksley is the next car needing to go into the pits for some panel beating. The Callahan goes in for refuelling and the squealing tyres on the way back on the track might be cool if you’re 12, but in reality it mostly costs them some time. It also costs Team SCS some time when the FM has to brake for the Callahan. Two more cars are getting into the pits. The WRK only for refuelling while the Schnell has something loose in the front suspension after the crash that needs to be fixed.

The Bricksley goes in for refuelling. The Callahan is slowed down by having to avoid a spinning Seongu. The next cars going in to fill up the tank is the Cambridge and the FM. The Sandhurst is trying to pass the Schwarzburg with not too much luck, with the cars being quite close to each other, the Schwarzburg kisses the guardrail and the Sandhurst has to do a quite advanced maneuvre to not create an even larger mess of everything.

The Przenopewien is going in for refuelling, in the last minute, sputtering into the pits. And now we have quite a mess. It starts with the Régal going into the guardrail, causing the Callahan to lose control while trying to avoid the Régal bouncing back on the track, Team “If it’s not punk it’s junk” passing all of them with the mother of all powerslides, and finally Team SCS deciding to nudge the guardrail with the FM instead of getting into the mess. Maybe a good thing that the Sandhurst is in for refuelling, that might have spared at least one car from getting into this. Strangely enough all cars seems to be fully operable after this.

Next car to take a quite heavy guardrail hit is the Przenopewien. The crash have cracked the distributor cap, and to even get to that one some straightening of the front with the good old BFH is needed. The next car to hit the guardrail is the Bricksley, and it seems like the spot welds holding the door in place didn’t hold up to this, so once again it is entering the pits with a flapping door. This time, swerving for people trying to play car pinball becomes a bit too much for Team “If it’s not punk, it’s junk” that loses control and wildly spins around. The FM is the next car having a strong attraction to the guardrail, severely damaging the hood, meaning that serious panel beating is necessary. The Schnell has some braking issues sending it into the guardrail next, it goes into the pits for some panel beating and also a change of the glazed brake pads that obviously didn’t stand up to this hard driving. The Sandhurst is spinning while trying to avoid the Schnell.

When you think that it is getting calmer, the top heavy WRK almost flips over, meaning that Team “If it’s not punk, it’s junk” needs to do some seriously skilled maneuvering to not have the Cambridge crushed under the pickup truck when it gets back on its wheels again.

Half of the race left, and still 13 cars running.

CURRENT STANDINGS

  1. Team Oxracers / #41 Seongu (@AndiD ) - Lap # 837
  2. Team Postgraduate Psychosis / #66 Callahan (@Texaslav ) - Lap # 798
  3. Team Prognosis Negative / #8 Régal (@karhgath ) - Lap # 758
  4. Team Septic Tank / #404 Sandhurst (@stm316 ) - Lap # 758
  5. Team If it’s not punk, it’s junk / #16 Cambridge (@Maverick74 ) - Lap # 749
  6. Team Schrott Racing / #13 Schwarzburg (@Rudzis ) - Lap # 748
  7. Team Trafikjournalen / #23 Saarland (@Knugcab ) - Lap # 738
  8. Team Rogue Traders / #722 WRK (@Fayeding_Spray ) - Lap # 723
  9. Team Slow / #91 Schnell (@interior ) - Lap # 701
  10. Team SCS / #69 FM (@Jaimz68 ) - Lap # 696
  11. Team Shift Happens / #357 Bricksley (@Madrias / @Elizipeazie ) - Lap # 688
  12. Team Desert Scavengers / #47 Union (@TheYugo45GV ) - Lap # 668
  13. Team Shine Quartz / #98 Przenopewien (@Vento ) - Lap # 642
  14. Team Bubblegum / #113 Mons (@cake_ape ) - Lap # 386 (DNF)
  15. Team Spy Kids / #42 Rosewood (@SheikhMansour ) - Lap # 365 (DNF)
  16. Team Mravolinski-Chitco / #90 Saguaro (@MrdjaNikolen ) - Lap #123 (DNF)
9 Likes

Team Shift Happens

On the Track - 4 PM to 8 PM
Sandwiches for Dinner - The Pit Lane (Written with help from Elizipeazie)


8 PM

Kayden wrestled with the bulky Bricksley, trying to both improve their time on the track and not trash the car. The Magistrate had disappeared up into the pit lane, while Team Slow and Team Schrott Racing had a “miscommunication” about who had the racing line.

Then the Przenopewien and the Seongu went into the pits, one for a repair, and the other for gas. The Saarland drifted through the corner in front of him, allowing the Bricksley to sneak past on the lower line, engine growling like a prowling panther in the night. Not that there was anything stealthy about the police car with wailing siren and flashing lights, to be fair, but Kayden wasn’t about to fiddle around with shit to turn off the noise. He looked in the mirror to see the Saarland back in the middle of the lane, blocking the FM and the Sandhurst in the process and letting the giant block of American police car cruise on ahead without an issue.


9 PM - In the Pits

Malavera nodded when Val asked to borrow the keys to the van to go get some rest, handing over the keys and watching as Val wandered over to their rented van for some much-needed sleep. Norse, on the other hand, seemed a little more alert, avoiding the military cot where Rukari was crashed out and snoring as he asked for an energy drink from Kivenaal, who had just pulled out and cracked open a can. Kivenaal handed Norse the other one he had, then said, “Other than this, all I’ve got left is some cola. Don’t worry, though. I have no plans to sleep tonight.”


9 PM - On the Track

Kayden chuckled as the Union Magistrate of team Desert Scavengers suddenly spun around and caused the Przenopewien to slam on the brakes. “Yeah, these things aren’t easy to drive,” he quipped to himself, watching the Saarland crawling in for some gas. Team Slow used the Rogue Traders’ truck as their brakes, trashing the front of their car and forcing the Schnell into the pits.

Kayden smirked as he saw the Seongu in front of him, the roaring 400 cubic inch V8 under the hood almost talking to him, like a demon on his shoulder, telling him to PIT the Seongu. Passenger front quarter panel of the Bricksley met the back of the Seongu, a slight tweak of the wheel sent the Seongu spinning, and the horrid crunching of metal reminded Kayden after the fact that the Bricksley was a little soft from doing that for many, many years. The Seongu looped around in a 720-degree spin and proceeded to race ahead while Kayden was forced to bring the battered Bricksley into the pits for some repairs.

“I spent a week straightening that fender out, Kayden,” Takaraya grumbled, reaching in under the wheel well and punching the dent back out so the hood could be opened again. “Stop wrecking the car.”

Kayden was about to say something when the Callahan shrieked by, and instead, he changed his topic to, “What a bunch of idiots. All that noise and what do they get? A quarter second later on that pit lane exit and they’d have a Franklin-Marshal shoved up their ass.”

As the Bricksley returned to the track, the WRK pickup of Rogue Traders crawled into the pits for some gas, and the Schnell of Team Slow needed some suspension repairs.

Kayden had only been out for what seemed like a few minutes before the fuel light came on, and the engine wheezing as a result told him it was seriously low. The car was fueled up thanks to Kivenaal bringing gas cans out and pouring the fuel in as fast as he could. He looked at the clock on the dash, set to the local time, reading 10 PM, then watched as the Callahan and Seongu nearly had a crash on his return to the track. The Cambridge and FM disappeared up the pit lane behind him. Then the Schwarzburg tagged a guardrail and forced the Sandhurst to swerve quite violently to avoid it.

He rounded a corner to witness chaos unfolding in front of him. The Przenopewien zipping into the pits, the Regal slamming into the guardrail, nearly collecting the Callahan while “It’s Junk” drifted on by, and the FM kissing the guardrail for good measure. The Sandhurst slipped by to disappear into the pit lane for gas, while the cluster of cars straightened out and continued racing.

A lap or two later, the Przenopewien kissed the guardrail hard and arrived in the pit lane by tow-truck. While he was watching the antics, Kayden wasn’t watching the track, banging into the same guardrail and sending the Bricksley spiraling across the track. The door flying open added insult to injury as he cruised back to the pit lane, though the chaos of the Bricksley becoming a black-and-white Disco Pinball seemed to dazzle the driver of “If it’s not punk, it’s junk” enough to cause them to spin out.


Kivenaal sighed as he saw the door hanging open on the Bricksley. “Really? It’s 11 PM, Kayden, and you managed to break my welds?” Kivenaal asked. He sparked up the torch, adding another batch of crude spot welds to the door, and after a couple minutes of digging in the parts box, welded a barn door latch onto the door and the door frame to lock the door shut this time. “There. That should keep it closed.”


Kayden cranked the car over and returned to the track, narrowly missing an impact from the FM as it torpedoed the guardrail, followed by the Schnell. The Sandhurst looped around and shrieked across the track until it settled back down, facing the right way to keep going.

As Kayden passed the WRK of Team Rogue Traders, he gave them a cheeky brake-check, watching them swerve, nearly tip over, and cause team “It’s junk” to swerve wildly to avoid getting squashed by a pickup. The WRK settled down and Kayden chuckled.

At 12:00 on the nose, Kayden made a bee-line for the pit lane, shutting the engine down and trading out the seat for Kaylie. Kaylie pulled her motorcycle helmet on, yanked the seat forward, cranked over the huge V8, and roared out onto the track, chrome hand glinting in the moonlight.

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