The 2023 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers - (END OF RACE!)

[Knugcab]

TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN
PART 1.3 - 8 PM-MIDNIGHT

“OUCH, look at all the drama out there”, Carlén said to Andersson. “I hope the IP won’t get involved.”

“Not with Hansen driving”, Andersson said. “He’s so slow he won’t get there in time for anything to happen!”.

“You do have a point”, Carlén answered while looking at Jon Arbuckle trying to bash the panels of the CAC into something resembling its original shape again.

“I can’t hear what you’re saying”, Andersson answered. “There is a German screaming and trying to bang the door closed on his Primus, without too much success”.

Somehow, Hansen managed to steer clear through all the drama with the little crackerbox, spare for a surprisingly slippery portion of the track. Slow but steady. Until…oh, crap, what is happening up front? He saw dust flying everywhere and…oh, the Bricksley driving around with a flapping door, wearing traces of puke green paint. Not a good sign.

“What the f… have happened to the Bricksley?”, Andersson said in the pits. “They are trying to put the door back, with like…tape and self tapping screws?”

“It seems like the meatheads in that puke green not a Lada can’t drive at all, honestly speaking”, Carlén said. “I hope karma will get them…”, only to be interrupted by Jon Arbuckle screaming something about why there are lasagna residues in the box containing the seals for the master cylinder.

A while later, out on the track…

FFFLFLLLLLALPPPPPPERRRRRRR!!!

“Crap…guys…this canvas roof will soon fly off and…I don’t know, maybe hit the windshield of the Velocity. Not that they will drive any worse if they can’t see shit, but we need to fix this… I am coming back into the pits…”

With a roll of tape in each hand and some teamwork, the three men managed to put the roof back down, probably not flying anywhere, at least for now…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Mentions: @Djadania @Happyhungryhippo @Madrias / @Elizipeazie

[Knugcab]

MIDNIGHT - 4 AM:

The Seongu now seems to be affected by lift off oversteer in yet another corner, and it is followed by the Bricklet doing slides that are more spectacular than effective, the same could be said for the Newton. The Ferdon has to do a stop for refuelling. When the Velocity slides into the guardrail tail first, the rear window shatters into pieces. After a quick visit in the pits, the window is replaced with a piece of tarp duct taped in place. After some guardrail nudging, the front wheel arch of the CAC is rubbing the tyre, a quick pitstop is needed to bend it back. There is some slight contact between the IP and the TDF but that doesn’t seem to affect any of the cars all that much. The McNamara, however, manages to avoid getting into that crash, as well as the Hakumai.

Yes, we know that drifting Bricklets isn’t an uncommon sight, but the question is if team Rcket has gotten some things wrong since at the moment it looks more like a drifting event for them. The Uyemura swipes the rail just slightly. The Newton runs out of fuel and has to coast to the pits for a fuel stop. The Velocity hits the ACR from behind, sending it into the rail. Unfortunately, the encounter with the rail also meant that the, according to what the team said, already bad engine mounts of the ACR separated completely, pushing the engine backwards, bending the propshaft which also put some strain on the rear diff, so the car is a total loss by now, and out of the race. The Bricksley is then almost plowing into the Velocity from behind, using the parking brake to counteract the massive understeer, ending up facing the wrong way. The CAC then has to swerve to not hit the Bricksley head on when the limo tries to get out of the mess. It seems like the drivers of the Primus and the VerBanka had some similar ideas about how they should avoid getting into a pileup in this mess now, unfortunately it only ended up with them hitting each other. Even though the Primus starting to look like a green raisin by now, it seems to be able to drive away, as well as the VerBanka. The McNamara chooses to pick the guardrail instead with a bang. The car looks very sad by now, but seems to be able to keep driving. The Crown Vic follows afterwards but that’s not more than a slight tap of the rail. The Rosewood manages to brake before it is too late.

It seems like the short wheelbase Seongu isn’t always the most stable vehicle in the corners, judging by the driving we see from it now, and the Arlington is following with some hefty slides. For once, the driver of the Velocity seems to take it a bit easy, the McNamara’s driver seems to be looking for an opportunity to pass the Velocity, but without too much luck. It seems like they need to fill up the tank anyway, so it was maybe not that much of a loss. The Caducus gives the Uyemura a little tap. There has been a weird sound from the rear suspension of the Crown Vic, and it is apparently a rear shock absorber bushing that now is more or less gone, so a pitstop to replace it is done. The Carlisle goes in for refuelling. The Hakumai does a spinout.

The Seongu hits the guardrail with a crunch, but seems to be OK still. The Bricklet drifts a bit wide when trying to avoid the Seongu bouncing back. The Arlington brakes heavily to avoid the same thing. In a battle of the puke greens, the Newton hits the Velocity from behind. The CAC hits the guardrail hard enough to bend the hood in a manner that reduces visibility, so some creative work with flattening it down has to be done in the pits. With the IP doing its first fuel stop, all the cars now have refuelled at least once. The Hakumai then sideswipes the Bricklet badly enough for team Rcket to realize that the bodywork of the car now is too far gone, and they decide to give up for this year.

We see a bit more careful driving than earlier from Team Oxracers in the Seongu, maybe necessary since there has been both close calls and actual incidents lately. The Ferdon have appearantly had a blinking oil light for a while, and the team is doing an attempt to see if an oil and filter change will cure that. The Newton scrapes the guardrail slightly. The Velocity also hits the guardrail, and it seems to have punched a hole in the radiator. The team is trying to solve it in the pits by putting a patch made out of an old coke can over the hole with epoxy putty and duct tape. Some debris from the Velocity seems to hit the windshield of the McNamara hard enough to totally crack it beyond the limits of visibility. Not being prepared for this, the team can’t find out a good enough temporary replacement with the stuff they have at hand, and decides to end the race for this year. The Bricksley goes in for refuelling. The Primus is now plowing with the front end through a corner it entered too fast, almost hitting the VerBanka if it had not been for the quick reactions of its driver. The Crown Vic spins out when trying to avoid getting into that mess, so does the Hakumai.

The Arlington is now doing a relatively wide skid through a corner. The SED hits the guardrail and the bumper is now scraping the ground, which the team fixes quickly with zipties in the pits. The Uyemura barely escapes the same fate shortly afterwards. Not as lucky is the Ferdon that does some slight scraping but without major damage. The driver of the Newton seems to take that corner slowly, wisely enough maybe. The Bricksley brakes a bit harder before a corner than expected maybe, in any case the Primus hits it from behind. The front end of the Primus is now smashed in so hard that some creative sledgehammer work is needed in the pits to free all the moving parts from a sheetmetal prison. The VerBanka has to swerve to avoid the mess. The SED brakes to avoid the mess but is soon after that hit from behind by the Crown Vic. The Carlisle has to swerve quickly to not in turn hit the Crown Vic. The Hakumai goes in to fill up the tank.

The Tarquini hits the Primus from behind, hard enough to bend the frame rails and rear axle mounting points out of shape. The Rhino squad has now given up all hope for the little green raisin and drops out of the race. To make things even worse, after the Tarquini has moved out of place, the SED hits the wrecked Primus once again, meaning that even the SED is out of the race. To further extend on the pileup, the Arlington hits the wrecked SED, but at least that one is still driveable afterwards. At least the Ferdon manages to swerve to avoid the mess. Unfortunately, the driver of the Newton realizes a bit too late what was happening in front of the Ferdon and is the next car to tap the wreck of the SED. When that mess is at least cleared up, the Bricksley and the Carlisle comes into contact with each other, but without any further drama. Not as lucky is team GRTTT with the CAC, after a crash into the Tarquini the small CAC is more or less obliterated and the team quickly realizes that it is unfixable, deciding to leave the race for this year. The Rosewood goes in for refuelling.

The Arlington does some wide skids through the corners at the moment. The Uyemura goes to the pits for a fuel stop. The Newton and Velocity both spins out when trying not to come into too close contact with each other. The driver of the Bricksley barely avoids hitting any of those cars. The Crown Vic spins around when trying to avoid the messy situation. The Rosewood taps the Hakumai lightly. Before the Hakumai has started to move, it gets hit by the TDF that also is totally out of the race from now on.

1. Team Oxracers II - Seongu - Lap #1045 @AndiD
2. Team Chitco - VerBanka - Lap # 1019 @MrdjaNikolen
3. The Comedians’ Clique - Arlington - Lap # 1009 @Texaslav
4. The Spy kids - Rosewood - Lap #982 @SheikhMansour
5. Team Slow - Hakumai - Lap #972 @interior
6. Team Shed Mechanics - Elba - Lap #966 @06DPA
7. Burned gasket endurance team - Carlisle - Lap #960 @Snarklz
8. Team Dancing queen - Newton - Lap #954 @stm316
9. Team Trafikjournalen - IP - Lap #950 @Knugcab
10. Team Let’s get this bread - Tarquini - Lap #947 @Danicoptero
11. Team Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv - Caducus - Lap #940 @WoodenPlankGames
12. Team Bakewell Baguette - Ferdon - Lap #923 @Mythrin
13. Team Polka Dots - Uyemura - Lap #871 @doot
14. Team Green Speed Racing - Velocity - Lap #869 Chat GPT
15. The Smith Brothers - Crown Vic - Lap #787 @DaBoss4344
16. Team Highway Hooligans - Bricksley - Lap #761 @Madrias / @Elizipeazie
17. Team SRD - SED - Lap #918 (DNF) @SCSI
18. Team Rcket - Bricklet - Lap #876 (DNF) @Sealboi
19. The Rhino Squad - Primus - Lap #871 (DNF) @Happyhungryhippo
20. Team Daytona Dreamers - McNamara - Lap #842 (DNF) @Maverick74
21. Team Men of Wheels - TDF - Lap #803 (DNF) @Restomod
22. Team GRTTT - CAC - Lap #776 (DNF) @Djadania
23. Team Stamppot, Saucijzen & Shitbox - ACR - Lap #745 (DNF) @shibusu
24. Team machinas con passione - MCP - Lap #633 (DNF) @SurrealCereal
25. Team Eberswalder Rennkollektiv - Wartburg - Lap #545 (DNF) @HermannMatern
26. Team Timeloss - Kazhron - Lap #439 (DNF) @Fayeding_Spray

[Happyhungryhippo]

Thomas checked the Wartburg, but it was beyond repair.

Eh, all these years we looked for Bananas and there is finally one.

This is NOT funny, Thomas.

Eh, Alex, just decide what to do with it, if I should throw in on the trailer. I guess our car won´t make it as well.

A more and more drunk Thomas was finally to make a nightly drunk call at his Ex-wife, who is not really fond of that, but… well, as it is also about their daughter, she at least let him speak a few minutes before hanging off.

Only a bit later, Jan called.

Eeeeh, I AM NOT DEAF! WHAT is wrong? Just calm down.

That was a serious crash… its making weird noises now. The other driver didn´t see me, I guess, because we both had almost no time to react.

HOW CAN ANYONE NOT SEEN A FROG GREEN CAR? Should I paint it orange next time? Crap. Is it sitll going?

Yes.

So Jan, what´s the complaint then? As far as I can see with my binoculars, I only need to cut a bit off and check the tires. maybe doing a quick alignment as well. Get in the pits!

Thomas wasn´t happy. There was a lot he wanted to yell at Jan, but didn´t do it since with a lack of experience, things like this can happen. And the most important thing is that Jan was ok.

Nevertheless, Thomas was entertaining the whole pit lane with his curses, and even for those that were able to understand German, the dialect became so strong that - THANKFULLY - nobody understood. After just fifteen minutes, Jan had a drivable car again.

But two hours later, a car in front of Jan braked too hard, and he clearly did not see that coming, as he is the least experienced of the trio. Almost at standstill, another driver that was either tired or distracted hit the Primus Advance with a speed difference of 60 kph.

Jan?

Thomas, I think, we finally hav… BANG

Another car hit the Advance full force, even a rear wheel flew off, the dented hatchback even made a 180-degree turn and almost flipped over.

JAN? JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNN!

As there was no response for over a minute, Thomas ran faster to the scene that most people half his age couldn´t, and pulled Jan out of the wreck, then, as the rear wheels were falling off, but the car was front wheel drive, retiring it in the pits, while the Fin in the SED that crashed as second in the car dragged the unconscious Jan towards a safe place.

When Thomas secured the wreck and went back to the crash scene, Jan felt very dizzy and could not walk, as he had a lot of pain in his left foot. Thomas carefully helped him going back to the cabin, and it was obvious that Jan could need a doctor, but he rather wanted to see Chanty as soon as possible.

Soon after arriving at the cabin, Chanty fell asleep as she was totally exhausted, but the noise from the two men entering woke her up. She was in immediate shock as she saw Jan being in serious pain, and she yelled at them what they have done this time, and Thomas quickly responded.

Well, the car is absolute trash and is acutally no longer looking like something that reminds of a car, so we are out, Jan has a concussion, a broken ankle, maybe also torn ligaments, and…

BANG

Chanty fainted and fell head first on the table. Thomas quickly grabbed a pillow and carefully put it under her head and cleaned her face.

Argh, crap, that was a full face landing… Jan? What should I do now? Is the nose still ok? Damn. You passed out again! I AM THE ONE WITH THE LEAST MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE HERE AND YOU TWO TEND TO TRY TO GET SIX FEET UNDER YOURSELVES ALL THE TIME! I AM DONE! He noticed his heart aching again, took a deep breath and gently put his daughter to sleep, put a plaster on her nose, then helped Jan in bed, grabbed a bottle of Glenfiddich and emptied at once, then falling deeply asleep on the sofa.

At - more or less - 5 AM, Chanty sneaked out of the cabin and took Thomas´car to get something, and when she was back two hours later, Jan was already awake but still very dizzy, noticing not too much of his surroundings. Thomas was still sound asleep and most likely still not fit for driving, so she decided to get him to the hospital for a check herself.

The doctor decided to keep Jan for a day, and Chanty is at her lowest point since their departure. When Thomas woke up, he noticed that Jan was no longer there, but heard his daughter crying in the bedroom.

Eeeeehhh… I am to old for this shit… JAN? Where are you? Oh… he isn´t dead, is he?

DAD! YOU HAVE THE SENSE OF TACT OF A … HIPPOPOTAMUS! OF COURSE NOT! But he is in hospital, and it is my fault… I urged him to go here.

Nah. We are all adults, although I really doubt it in your case, but we are responsible on our own. What is that for a weird noise?

Thomas found his daughter tattooing herself.

CHANTAL JOLINA NILFERT! WHERE DID YOU GET THIS AND WHY? WHY?

This is the Alabama of Sweden, right? Everyone has a tattoo machine here. And one guy even wanted to sell 1000 bananas to me. Another one five Ford Capri and none of them ran… as you can see, I am now writing the VIN number of my little…

She sniffed again, sighed, and contined.

Kermit… on my skin. Kermit was my first car, I love him. Please dad, please fix him… I will do everything for you… he is a part of my life.

Was. He WAS a part of your life…

GET OUT! I HATE YOU!

[Knugcab]

LMAO @ the internal references.

[WoodenPlankGames]

The Erikssons

Post 4 - Hours 13-16

---

More Racing

A frankly boring stint for Linnea, save for passing a big pile of totalled cars.

“Lin, be advised, you’re up to 11th now. Keep it up.”

---

As Sven wakes and exits the car, so does Elin. After all, it’s hard to miss him slamming the door.

A few moments later, back in the pit lane, Aatto spots them and grabs the French press. Sven’s driving soon, so god knows he needs it, and to be frank, after 16 hours of pit crewing she could use some herself.

“I’d offer you boys a good morning, but to be frank it’s a bit early for that. I made coffee.”

A collective thank you followed, as Elin prepares for the upcoming refueling stop, and Sven readies to take the wheel. The most aggressive, and arguably the most capable, of the teams drivers, hopefully he can bring it home.

---

Once more crackles to life the radio.

“Linnea, Pit time again, and you can finally get out of the van.”

Aatto is of course doing her usual organizational role, albeit with less energy than earlier.

“Elin, you’ve got refuelling, Sven; take the wheel.”

This time, all Aatto’s doing is helping Linnea out of the van, but frankly nobody can hold it against her at this time of night.

Elin gives the signal, and Sven’s sped off again. Aatto only has one more thing to say.

“Elin, keep an eye on the van. I’m going to go sleep in the car and I suspect Linnea’s going to join me.”

“Aye ma’am. Have a good rest you two.”

And off they go.

[06DPA]

The car is going strong. So are the drivers and team, running on unhealthy amounts of caffeine and determination. After no major incidents in the last 4 hours, the Shed Mechanics are in a good position.

[Madrias]

Team Highway Hooligans

Team Information and Index

---

Highway Hooligans, Midnight to 4 AM, Cody’s POV:

The first 30 minutes of the midnight stage were almost peaceful. Headlights (and high-beams) glowing at full (dim) intensity, the I5 buzzing away under the hood, the other teams crashing well out of the line of sight of the longest shitbox in the world.

As the baby-shit-green Velocity torpedoes the ACR into the guardrail and claims another car, Cody mashes his foot down on the throttle, planning on a little payback for their door and for taking out half the field. Unfortunately, Trevor screams at him over the radio, “CODY! The bash-bar is nearly in the radiator! Don’t fuck up the car!” With a full head of steam behind it, the Bricksley continues its advance on the Velocity until Cody stomps on the emergency brake pedal and hooks the steering wheel, trying to nail the rear quarter panel of the Velocity with their rear bumper. It’s a narrow miss, and nearly ends up in disaster as the CAC has to avoid the great-big-stretched-blue-turd. Likewise, the Primus and the VerBanka had to swerve to avoid it, banging into each other on the way and collecting a few more dents. The McNamara bangs into the guardrail on the other side of the shit-barge Bricksley, followed by the Crown Vic doing the same maneuver, but a bit softer. Then the Rosewood slams on the brakes and loses time to Cody doing a sloppy-as-fuck 5 point turn to get the car pointing the right way around.

“I think I held up almost the entire field there!” Cody declares gleefully, giggling as the great lumbering trash barge picks up speed again.

Cody takes things easy for the next hour, balancing his use of the steering wheel to allow him to also chug a Coca-Cola. He grenades the Velocity’s driver with the can and grins as the puke green squashed turd keeps farther away for a few laps.

Eventually, he has to pull in for fuel, surprised at the fuel efficiency of the 5-cylinder land yacht. Not long afterward, Cody mashes the brakes to avoid leaving the racing line around a corner, and a heavy thump resonates through the car. “What the… Oh. I just accidentally brake-checked the Primus…”

Cody keeps his eyes on the road when the Tarquini rear-ends the Primus and takes it out of the race… And then the SED gives it a good punt and wrecks itself. Then the Arlington hits the SED like a pool cue, slamming the SED up against the Primus just for good measure. The Ferdon dodges it, the Newton scrapes along the SED’s wrecked carcass, and finally, the accidents stop happening. Half a lap later, Cody accidentally crowds the Carlisle with the entire passenger side of the limo, forcing a solid bump and scraping the paint with the wood-screws still sticking out of the passenger-side door.

Then, the Newton and Velocity spin out when trying to avoid a collision (a huge surprise given how the Velocity has driven so far, using everyone else as mobile brakes and guardrails), and Cody threads the needle, smashing the crappy towing mirror off of his door on the way past.

“I’m puttin’ a bounty out on that Velocity. Two hundred United States dollars to whichever team takes out that god-damn turd,” Cody says over the radio.

[WoodenPlankGames]

Extra

Post 5 - Collaboration with Madrias.

---

Hearing Cody’s offer gets Sven’s attention. Not bothering to click in his walkie talkie to his brother in the pits, a bit of negotiation goes on. Sven’s got a sly tone, but a somewhat playful one as well.

"I might well be convinced, if you’re willing to put your own bodywork into it as well?~

Cody is a little cautious, but determined to see the Velocity done and out of the race, and it shows in his voice.

“You’ve seen our door already. This thing might fall apart if we make another strike at it, but I can try.”

Sven’s got a plan already, and the excitement in his voice is clear as he presents it over the driver’s radio.

“You box him in down the pit straight, and then I’ll show him what a rear end rated for 2 tonnes of cargo does to the front end of an ugly ass sedan!”

Cody laughs, the plan coming together at last. He gleefully presses the radio button and cheerfully commits to the plan.

“The old “swoop and squat!” One big-ass rollin’ roadblock comin’ right up.”

---

And so, the plan is made. Will it work? That’s up to our host, @Knugcab.

[Knugcab]

4 AM - 8 AM:

The Elba swipes the guardrail, albeit just slightly. One of the Bricksleys front springs have collapsed, and it is now in the pits for a swap. The Bricksley moving slow for a while gives Team Slow in the Hakumai some troubles of passing. The Carlisle is looking for an opportunity to pass the two of them, without too much luck. The Seongu understeers through a corner, which the driver is trying to counteract with the handbrake, though that results in a spinout. The next car to spin out is the Velocity. The Crown Vic is said to be running very hot at the moment and goes into the pits very carefully. The Newton is going in for refuelling.

The Elba goes in to fill up the tank. Some rusted bolts in the front suspension means that the spring replacement on the Bricksley still takes time. The Tarquini takes a hit against the rail, but even though the front end looks pretty smashed in now, it seems to be driveable. The next car to taste the rail is the Hakumai, albeit not too hard. Since it seems like the serpentine belt jumped in the crash, however, they end up in the pits putting a new one on it. The Velocity goes in for refuelling. The Crown Vic’s troubles seems to be related to the water pump, which the team are changing out at the moment… The Rosewood does a spinout.

The Arlington plows a bit through the corners. The Caducus goes in for a fuel stop. The Hooligans is still working on the Bricksley in the pits, but the report is that they are ready to put things together now again. The driving of the Velocity is a bit all over the place, but it has not crashed into something for a while. The Crown Vic is still in the pits, but ready to be assembled again. The Rosewood scrapes the rail slightly.

The Arlington goes in for refuelling. The Caducus seems to have some trouble with going straight through the corners at the moment. The Bricksley is leaving the pits with spinning wheels, causing the Hakumai to brake for it to not hit it. The IP and Newton then has to swerve to not hit the Hakumai. The Crown Vic does a much less dramatic exit from the pits, though

The Bricksley has its share of trouble, understeering heavily through the corners. The Seongu does some guardrail banging. The Velocity passes the Arlington to then brake check it, unfortunately, the crash damages the battery of the Arlington, something the team seems to not have thought of bringing a replacement for, and hence it is out of the race. The Crown Vic and Rosewood swerves to avoid flying debris from the cars. The Newton on the other hand drives over some of it and has to go to the pits to change the flat tyre.

Vibrations and clunking noises in the Uyemura has lead the team to suspect the flexdisc on the propshaft, meaning that it is now in the pits. The Crown Vic takes a shunt from the Carlisle, unfortunately, all the hard bashing that has taken place on the Carlisle this day now have taken its toll, the front frame rails are simply too bent to take any more abuse now.

It seems like some rusted, rounded bolts around the propshaft flange keeps the Uyemura in the pits. The Elba and the Crown Vic comes into some close contact, but without any devastating damage to the cars. Despite the Bricksley having a chance to pass the Velocity, it seems to follow it close instead, for some reason. That seems to annoy the driver of the Ferdon a bit, since the large limo is blocking the way. The Newton goes in for refuelling.

With a new flexdisc, the Uyemura is back on the track. It is possible that driver fatigue is giving a bit mediocre lap times to the VerBanka by now. The Tarquini tries to find a good possibility to pass it, but no luck. The Hakumai goes in to fill up the tank, so does the Ferdon. Being sort of squeezed in between the Bricksley and the Caducus, the Velocity tries to escape, and gives the guardrail a crunch instead. A visit in the pits to secure the flapping bumper with a rope is necessary for the Velocity. When driving slow to the pits, the Velocity slows down the Rosewood.

1. Team Oxracers II - Seongu - Lap #1309 @AndiD
2. Team Chitco - VerBanka - Lap # 1278 @MrdjaNikolen
3. The Spy kids - Rosewood - Lap #1229 @SheikhMansour
4. Team Shed Mechanics - Elba - Lap #1204 @06DPA
5. Team Slow - Hakumai - Lap #1204 @interior
6. Team Trafikjournalen - IP - Lap #1198 @Knugcab
7. Team Let’s get this bread - Tarquini - Lap #1185 @Danicoptero
8. Team Dancing queen - Newton - Lap #1181 @stm316
9. Team Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv - Caducus - Lap #1176 @WoodenPlankGames
10. Team Bakewell Baguette - Ferdon - Lap #1157 @Mythrin
11. Team Green Speed Racing - Velocity - Lap #1091 Chat GPT
12. Team Polka Dots - Uyemura - Lap #1039 @doot
13. The Smith Brothers - Crown Vic - Lap #916 @DaBoss4344
14. Team Highway Hooligans - Bricksley - Lap #889 @Madrias / @Elizipeazie
15. The Comedians’ Clique - Arlington - Lap # 1131 (DNF) @Texaslav
16. Burned gasket endurance team - Carlisle - Lap #1113 (DNF) @Snarklz
17. Team SRD - SED - Lap #918 (DNF) @SCSI
18. Team Rcket - Bricklet - Lap #876 (DNF) @Sealboi
19. The Rhino Squad - Primus - Lap #871 (DNF) @Happyhungryhippo
20. Team Daytona Dreamers - McNamara - Lap #842 (DNF) @Maverick74
21. Team Men of Wheels - TDF - Lap #803 (DNF) @Restomod
22. Team GRTTT - CAC - Lap #776 (DNF) @Djadania
23. Team Stamppot, Saucijzen & Shitbox - ACR - Lap #745 (DNF) @shibusu
24. Team machinas con passione - MCP - Lap #633 (DNF) @SurrealCereal
25. Team Eberswalder Rennkollektiv - Wartburg - Lap #545 (DNF) @HermannMatern
26. Team Timeloss - Kazhron - Lap #439 (DNF) @Fayeding_Spray

[Happyhungryhippo]

8 AM, somewhere in swedish Alabama

collaboration with @HermannMatern

Well, I think it is typical to end on the junkyard of history, if it´s a Wartburg. Thanks, Thomas, that you somehow managed to arrange a tasteful… funeral?

I persuaded the principal of the town that a Wartburg used in a competition in Sweden is a sign of unity and peace… so … it will decorate this roundabout for the next years to come. The terrible shape is also a sign that… well… our country was not supposed to last.

It really wasn´t, Thomas? Are you sure about that?

Definitely, I am. But you are right that not everything was shit. I hate that generalization. This Wartburg did great and now serves another purpose. No matter if we were popular, rich or beautiful. There will always be some trace of us somewhere, as long as we are remembered. Things have exactly the value you give to them, and this Wartburg was as pricelessly valuable as Chantys Kar… Ker… eh, that frog car. Let´s go, Klaus-Dieter, before I become sentimental.

Do I spot a tear, young fellow?

Damn, someone finally still calling me “young”… well, let´s now drive somewhere else, I got something to pick up. Do you still feel fit for driving?

Me? Of course. I am 80, not dead!

Meanwhile, Chanty is still very much overstrained with how the things turned out. Her father keeping secret how bad his health problems are, her boyfriend injured, the race not even finished and her beloved Kermit a piece of junk that could not be saved. Although she was on a good way of finally quitting smoking, she just thought… that it doesn´t matter anymore. But a friend she almost forgot about was there for help.

Rudolph? Is this you?

some elk noise

Damn, I must really be at my lowest if I really talk to an … ah, I don´t care. It´s good that you are here, Rudi. Let me hug you, please… you are so fluffy!

more elk noises

You brought your whole family with you to cheer me up? You are so special. I love you, too.

A bit later, Chanty finally said goodbye to the fluffy friends and returned to the cabin, just as two cars show up - one is Thomas´SUV, and behind it is a smaller blue car.

CHANTAL JOLINA NILFERT! You look terrible!

I know, but it´s also your genes…

I dont mean it that way, damn! I guess, you could need something positive things, to say it mildly… What kind of car would you like to replace Kermit?

Dad! Kermit is irreplaceable. He was unique. And… I don´t have the money anyway.

You don´t expect me to pay for the new one? Who are you, and what have you done to my daughter?

Dad, I am not in the mood for jokes, really. I know you don´t mean it in a bad way, but I need to be alone now.

I AM BLUE DABADI DABADA

Dad! You are the WORST singer ever. Stop it!

If you want me to stop, catch that! HAH!

Uuuargh, can´t you aim better? Ehm… these are… car keys? Wait! WAIT! Is that for the blue one?

Sure! A 2005 Primus Persua. It is only the base model, but it is in good condition, but I guess you will change that to your taste soon. It´s definitely safer than the old car, and easier to drive, so… Jans next year´s 24h race won´t end in hospital. And I hope you like the color, it´s actually matching your hair. I give up trying to convince you that you should look normal, it´s too late with all these tattoos anyway, sadly.

Dad… I don´t deserve this.

Yep. Well, something I learned at a quite late age is that we don´t need to deserve everything. I am your father. One should never use love and affection as a “reward”. I needed 60 years to break through my family trauma and you should have it better. So, now that I want to keep the emotional part as short as possible, move your arse and drive Klaus-Dieter to their hotel, then pick up Jan. I guess he misses you already. Hah. What a sissy!

Dad! We are over this! I love him and it would be kind of you to respect this.

As you can drive and he can´t… would I buy you a safer car then, if I would like you to get rid of him? Now move it, Klaus-Dieter is waiting for his taxi service, and Jan for his girlfriend.

Will we drive home then tomorrow?

NO! You look as banged up as your Kor… Kel… eh, Karma! Your mother will kill me without hesitation when she sees you in this condition. Have mercy with me. But the Wartburg weirdos will borrow your car tomorrow… strange that your car has no longer a name… but I guess you will find one… to get them to Eberswalde, and that´s where we pick it up again next week.

Kermit! It was Kermit! And I already have a name for the new one… SONIC! THE FASTEST HEDGEHOG! Well, as fast as it can be with a … urgh… 1,4 liter engine. But that color is so … me? I love it.

[Knugcab]

TEAM TRAFIKJOURNALEN
PART 1.4 MIDNIGHT - 8 AM

After a duct taping orgy in the pits, Hansen got back on the track only to… BONK!, damn, there went the TDF, but it seemed to be just a slight tap that didn’t affect it very much.

“Won’t do any damage if you’re slow enough”, Carlén said to Andersson in the pits.

A while later, a lot of cars managed to get into a huge tangle, but not Hansen in the IP.

“Yeah, he didn’t even get there in time”, Carlén and Andersson said, nodding at what happened.

After some very calm driving, Hansen got back for refuelling the fuel sipping box for the first time. He avoided getting into any drama, and got back into the pits for the last drivers change, to Filip Andersson.

“Now, don’t do like you always do and play pinball with everything on the track, OK?”, Carlén said when Andersson jumped into the burgundy brick. And for his first 4 hours of driving that was actually true. He even managed to swerve for a braking Hakumai without any further incidents.

TO BE CONTINUED…

[Knugcab]

8 AM - NOON

The Bricksley gives the Hakumai a shunt, which in turn sends the Hakumai into the rail. Unfortunately, the Bricksley now also resembles a corkscrew more than anything else, only the weight have saved it this far, but according to the team, the frame was more or less resembling corn flakes, so it was probably an expected end for it anyway. The Hakumai looks a bit sad too, but seems to be able to continue driving. The Newton and IP manages to swerve to avoid getting into the crash. The Rosewood goes in for refuelling. The Caducus is driving a bit slower than we would have expected it to do. The Seongu experiences some lift off oversteer once again, seems like that short wheelbase FWD car is a bit nervous in that regard. The Tarquini goes in for refuelling.

The Velocity is driving unexpectedly careful at the moment. The IP seems to have a hard time passing it. The Elba does an attempt to pass both cars, with no success, just ending up in a slide. The Hakumai more or less repeats the same mistake. The Seongu goes in for refuelling. Maybe as an act of revenge, the Crown Vic hits the Velocity at high speed, but no matter what, the result is the Crown Vic being done for this year, while the Velocity seems to still hold up.

The Velocity continues at a slow but steady pace, once again being a hard obstacle for the IP to pass. After some guardrail nudging, the bumper is hanging loose on the Elba and the team has to do some provisory attempts of re-attaching it in the pits. Other than that, it is relatively calm at the moment.

The VerBanka sputters and coasts towards the pits, where the team has to look up why it won’t run anymore. The Velocity has now gained speed again, tries to pass the coasting VerBanka, but slides wildly. The Elba gives the Uyemura a slight tap from behind. The Velocity needs to refuel. The Hakumai then hits the Elba, that is sent into the Tarquini, that is sent into the rail, which means that the both the Elba and the Tarquini are now also beyond the point of repair, and also out of the race.

The VerBanka is still standing in the pits, the fault is traced to a defective fuel pump. The Velocity scrapes the rail. The Rosewood comes into some close contact with the IP. The Uyemura goes in for refuelling. The Newton needs some serious panel beating after close contact with the Ferdon.

The VerBanka has now gotten its fuel pump replaced and is back on the track. The same could be said about the Newton, hammered out to (something resembling a) shape again. The Uyemura does a spinout. The Caducus hits the VerBanka, resulting in a visit in the pits to bend some parts of the front fender of the Caducus now interfering with the front wheels away. The Hakumai does a rather wide slide in a corner now.

The Velocity is driving at a rather reduced speed again, meaning that the IP is stuck behind it at the moment. The Rosewood hits the Seongu, a quite heavy hit for the small car but still not enough to cause any damage that needs repair at the moment. However, it seems to be a bit hard for the Seongu to find traction when taking off. For some reason, the Caducus once again hits the VerBanka. This time, the VerBanka is the car that needs time in the pits to straighten out the metal.

The Newton goes in for a fuel stop, it exits the pits along with the freshly repaired VerBanka, but maybe the team had some bad batch of fuel since there is some sputtering from the Newton. But other than that, all the cars have worked flawlessly for the last 30 minutes of the race, and we are now at noon, the race is over and we are soon getting to the final standings….

1. Team Oxracers II - Seongu - Lap #1564 @AndiD
2. The Spy kids - Rosewood - Lap #1469 @SheikhMansour
3. Team Slow - Hakumai - Lap #1457 @interior
4. Team Trafikjournalen - IP - Lap #1442 @Knugcab
5. Team Bakewell Baguette - Ferdon - Lap #1396 @Mythrin
6. Team Transporttjäns Eriksson AB Eslöv - Caducus - Lap #1387 @WoodenPlankGames
7. Team Dancing queen - Newton - Lap #1387 @stm316
8. Team Chitco - VerBanka - Lap # 1384 @MrdjaNikolen
9. Team Green Speed Racing - Velocity - Lap #1322 Chat GPT
10. Team Polka Dots - Uyemura - Lap #1260 @doot
11. Team Let’s get this bread - Tarquini - Lap #1270 (DNF) @Danicoptero
12. Team Shed Mechanics - Elba - Lap #1266 (DNF) @06DPA
13. The Comedians’ Clique - Arlington - Lap # 1131 (DNF) @Texaslav
14. Burned gasket endurance team - Carlisle - Lap #1113 (DNF) @Snarklz
15. The Smith Brothers - Crown Vic - Lap #942 (DNF) @DaBoss4344
16. Team SRD - SED - Lap #918 (DNF) @SCSI
17. Team Highway Hooligans - Bricksley - Lap #889 (DNF) @Madrias / @Elizipeazie
18. Team Rcket - Bricklet - Lap #876 (DNF) @Sealboi
19. The Rhino Squad - Primus - Lap #871 (DNF) @Happyhungryhippo
20. Team Daytona Dreamers - McNamara - Lap #842 (DNF) @Maverick74
21. Team Men of Wheels - TDF - Lap #803 (DNF) @Restomod
22. Team GRTTT - CAC - Lap #776 (DNF) @Djadania
23. Team Stamppot, Saucijzen & Shitbox - ACR - Lap #745 (DNF) @shibusu
24. Team machinas con passione - MCP - Lap #633 (DNF) @SurrealCereal
25. Team Eberswalder Rennkollektiv - Wartburg - Lap #545 (DNF) @HermannMatern
26. Team Timeloss - Kazhron - Lap #439 (DNF) @Fayeding_Spray

CONGRATULATIONS TO TEAM OXRACERS IN THE SEONGU FOR YET ANOTHER 24h WIN!

[Djadania]

ChatGPT beat most of us. Truly one of the moments of all time.

[06DPA]

ChatGPT knows its thing. Shame we couldn’t finish - the car was going to be scrapped either way. Hopefully we will bring a bigger challenge next season, GG everyone.

[interior]

I am suprised my car was still drivable despite how much times it got shunted and crashed

[Knugcab]

It would have been toast with 1 more crash

[stm316]

Almost 2/3 or the entrants DNF, and i didn’t even make mid field of what was left. I can’t tell if that’s good or bad.

[Happyhungryhippo]

Epilogue - a week after the challenge

JAN KELLERMANN! WHERE ARE THE BAGS?

Sorry Thomas, my foot is still quite not well, and…

Yes, alright, sorry. Where is my daughter again?

I guess before we leave tomorrow moring she says goodbye to the elk.

What the… well, I guess I better don´t ask.

Rudolph… I am sorry to leave you. I will miss you soooo much, will you remember me?

weird but friendly elk noises

Maybe… we will come back, and … I … argh, I can´t hold it back any longer.

A crying Chanty hugs the elk, and acutally it looks like the goodbye is equally painful for the animal as well.

The whole night, Chanty cuddled with Jan and told him how much she will miss her fluffy new friend, and when she woke up waaaay to late the next day, Thomas already packed all stuff and Jan waited with a surprise.

Oh… is that for… me?

Sure, you told me how much you miss Rudy, and as you told me Rudolph has his own family, I don´t need to be jealous at all towards a kind elk - but I wanted to get you something to keep him in good memory.

Chanty grabbed the plush elk, hugged it firmly, then stressed Jan with a love overdose, took her moring shower and then jumped in the rear seats of the Primus Aventura, while a totally destroyed Advance aka Kermit was on the trailer, still usable as compartment for all their stuff, including the carbecue.

After a ride on the ferry, Thomas asked Jan if he had seen Chanty awake already.

No, not at all Mr. Nilf, eh, Thomas. I guess she is totally exhausted.

All the stress was a week ago. Damn. But I guess it´s not just our adventure that stresses her. But that snoring, damn, a paternity test would be wasted money. What is she doing?

Well, that what she does for hours now, Listening to her headphones and cuddling with Rudolph, her plush elk.

At least she isn´t tattoing herself again, so I better not complain… Damn, I am hungry, and Eberswalde to pick up Chantals car is still three hours away. Next exit?

Definitely!

DID I HEAR … FOOD?

Oh, my daughter woke up! HOW COULD YOUR HEAR THAT ASLEEP WITH YOUR DEVIL MUSIC AT FULL VOLUME?

Didn´t you just say a paternity test is wasted money?

Oh yes, Chantal Jolina Nilfert, IT IS!

Actually, you did better than I expected as our spare mechanic… You know, I am not the youngest anymore, and I can´t leave the work to my employees Deniz and Mateusz. Well, I won´t force you, but I have an instructor certificate, and…

Dad, I really need to get a real job, and actually, I enjoyed it too much to decline that. We´re a team, and I guess mom wouldn´t mind if I become the next MacNilfert. But only one last thing…

Which?

Can you get my lovely Rudi a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, two number 45, one with cheese, and a large soda?

CHANTAL JOLINA NILFERT! THE AIR SUSPENSION OF THIS CAR IS ALREADY AT THE LIMIT! And its not the elk, it´s you who wants all this.

DAD! You are no better. Guess where my appetite and weight comes from?

Yeah, yeah, I know… all right, there is the exit. Let´s get something to eat. Jan, you go in first, because if Chantal and me are done there, nothing will be left for anybody.

THE NILFERTS WILL COME BACK - SEE YOU SOON!

[SheikhMansour]

Finishing at all in a race with this many DNFs is excellent, imo

[Knugcab]

I admit that the mechanics was a bit flawed and rough to the cars this year. Hence a small adjustment will be made for next time.