Considering that this usually ends up as a car-nage I guess they can form themselves in an unexpected way sometimes
Going through the cars now. Since @stm316 seems to have forgotten to include photos of his car, here it is (always fun to see what you’re racing against I guess).
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Hahahaha
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Anyone interested in a little collab for my pre race RP? Just HMU then.
Sure why not, I wasn’t sure if I was gonna do antyhing (I don’t have much time to put into it, so if we can share, I’d be happy to participate 
)
Y.E.A.R.
The Description of the TeamLast Episode (“We haven’t been smart… as always”)
Pre-Race Episode 1: "Reunification with familiar faces"
Introducing Ángel's New Team
Less than 18 hours for the race to begin.
Holjesbanan Rallycross Circuit
Höljes, Sweden.
The entirety of the team left the Minivan and the Trailer parked not too far from the race track itself. Ángel, who ended up riding in the Qua all along, fortunately didn’t got any inspection by the local police.
María checked in her pockets… She didn’t bring the lactaid. So it was all downhill for her from now on. This meant she probably wouldn’t enjoy dinner…
Hou also seemed particularly nervous… She didn’t even know what to do, with so many people around, she just wanted to remain in the car and hide. Luckily for our story, Catherine, who was in the back seat row of the Minivan, forced Hou out.
As soon as they entered the track, Ángel went asking for Chantal Nilfert… and while at first he wasn’t successful, Chantal ended up finding Ángel before he could find her.
As soon as the blue haired German girl saw our one-eyed mind reader, she immediately ran and jump-hugged him from behind. While they were both the same size (as in, Height), Ángel was much lighter, which ended up on both of them falling to the ground.
Chantal:“ÁNGEEEEL !”
Ángel:“Eh ? Oh-- Wha…!?”
Ryoga:“Hey, who is that ?”
Asked Ryoga, who was confused. The rest of Y.E.A.R. was present at this scene, same as the rest of the Rhinos.
Ángel:“Oh, Ryoga, Don’t you worry. Remember when I told you about the Rhino Squad ?”
Kanna:“We all do !”
María:“Well, I don’t…”
Ángel and Chantal stood up, and he started to introduce his team…
Chantal:“They are all your new team ?”
Ángel:“Yep. Say hello to her guys !”
Everyone (except Hou, in mild desynchronization):“こんにちは！” (Kon’nichiwa !, “Hello!”)
Hou (timidly):“こんにちは…”
Chantal:“ありがとう、そしてこんにちは！” (Thank you, and hello to you too !)
The whole of Y.E.A.R. is in shock. Even Ángel, who knew Chantal deeply, didn’t know she knew how to speak Japanese… Little does he know, she only knows a few sentences which are used in her favorite anime series…
Ángel:“A-anyway… Let me introduce them… Ryoga, Kanna, María, Catherine, and Hou.”
Chantal:“こんにちは ！”
Kanna:“Chanty!”
The Yukobaiyaroslavl’s Little Sister went over to hug Chantal. Kanna was smiling.
Kanna:“アンヘルはあなたに会いたいと言ってくれましたが、その通りでした。 初めまして、カンナです。” (Angel told me I would love to meet you, and he was right! Nice to meet you, I’m Kanna.)
Chantal:“…”
Kanna:“何が起こっていますか ？” (What’s Happening ?)
María:“I’m pretty sure you’ve confused her. I can’t blame her though, Japanese is a hard language for foreigners to learn.”
Ángel:“Hey, Mari, be calm with her…”
Chantal:“May I ask, where’s Ana ?”
Everyone but Ángel remained silent… Catherine, rather intrigued, had to ask…
Catherine:“…who is Ana ?”
Ángel:“She’s a former teammate back when I participated at the Shitbox Rally. Unfortunately, she couldn’t come here.”
Chantal:“Why ? She promised me she’d come !”
Ángel:“Yeah, but… Unfortunately, she was caught by surprise for some stuff back home and has to stay in Spain on race day. No worries though, you can call her if you want to.”
Thomas:“We’ll be leaving to get along with the Hooligans. They’ve invited us for some beer.”
Jan:“Well, you invited yourself.”
Thomas:“So what ? I AM INVITED.”
María:“May I come too ? But first I wanna meet the finnish team.”
Catherine:“I want to attend too… Will there be food ?”
Ángel:“Catherine…”
Catherine:“Sorry, Milksweet… I got hungry by the trip…”
María:“Hungry !? But if we stopped like 5 times to get you something to eat !”
Catherine:“What can I say ? My necessities are far bigger than yours, aren’t they…”
Ángel:“Hehe… Yeah, Honey Bunny. Gosh, I’m just reminded that I haven’t eaten anything…”
María:“Ugh, anyway, I’ll leave the lovebirds to do their thing…”
Chanty:“Ángel has a girlfriend ?”
María’s eye opened really big… Before she tried to deviate the conversation…
María:“Anyway… Do you know where are the guys from Finland ?”
Chanty:“Oh, you mean the Speed Freaks?”
María:“Yeah… Funny, I myself used to live in Suomussalmi. Welp, hope you have a good night guys…”
María left to meet the Speed Freaks. So did Catherine and Ángel, in order to get something to eat for the sixth time… well, for Catherine; Ángel hadn’t eaten in all day. Kanna and Ryoga stayed along with Chantal, but there was someone who hadn’t talked in all of this: Hou.
Hou:“W-What are you looking at ?”
Chantal:“So you are Hou…?”
Hou:“Uhhhhhhh… Y-yeah…”
Ryoga:“Awww, Come on, Hou, she’s just being nice to you…”
Said Ryoga, ignoring the fact that his crush was dying on the inside, due to her nerves…
Hou thought she needed a pretext to go away too… and fast.
Hou:“I… need to go to the Bathroom.”
Ryoga:“Didn’t you go there to wee on our last stop ?”
Hou:“Maybe the food we ate there didn’t do me any good… Anyway, bye…!”
And Hou went away too… The three remaining people on the spot looked at her, feeling so confused with the situation…
However, soon enough, the remaining three would start getting along with each other a lot better… So meanwhile, let’s deviate to whatever was happening elsewhere…
Hou bumps into an unfamiliar foe
About 15 to 20 minutes after meeting Chantal.
Still at HRC.
Hou didn’t go to the bathroom… She just wanted to scape from what she thought was a rather tense situation. As she walked around the remaining part behind the pit wall, she’d rather cross with a quite unfamiliar foe… Why was that ? Because it wasn’t a foe yet…
Mikko Harjanne, the angry Finnish Rally Driver, was walking quite annoyed after loosing several ventii matches in a row. Having lost over 300 euro didn’t do well for his brittle temper. He was hidden by one wall of the main building…
…on the other hand, Hou Niu, the Chinese Mechanic Girl, walked rather fast, unfrustrated, but nervous. She’d never been around so many people, and she only felt comfortable when friends were around her… She was hidden by another wall…
The way the two collided was majestic. Mikko’s wallet flew thru the air, same for Hou’s glasses, needed for her to even see.
Mikko:“Hei, mikä sinua vaivaa!? Oletko sokea vai mitä? On selvää, pikkutyttö, että käytät silmälaseja, koska olet sokea!”
Hou:“I-I… I’m sorry…”
Mikko:“Yeah, you better be sorry !”
Hou:“P-Please calm d-down… I personally don’t want to get in…”
Mikko:“Oh, well, you’re already in quite the trouble with me, Tyhmä tyttö!” ([…]Stupid Chinese Girl !).
Hou:“A-Alright, I-im heading out…”
Mikko:“You better head out now, you b…”
Mikko’s ranting was suddenly halted by an intimidating presence behind him…
María:“Anteeksi, miksi kutsuit häntä?” (Excuse me, what did you call her?)
As Hou got her glasses back, María grabbed Mikko’s shoulder, and when Mikko looked at the woman, she looked at him with dead seriousness.
…his reply couldn’t have been closer to the one of an a-hole…
Mikko:“Tyhmä tyttö. Ja anna minun arvata, olet toinen tyhmä kiinalainen tyttö, hänen pieni ystävänsä.” (Stupid Chinese girl. And let me guess, you’re another stupid Chinese girl, her little friend.)
María:“Hmph.”
Mikko:“I mean, that’s what you Asians are, right… You’re the Chinese Ones…”
María:“Let me correct you really quick, we are not a Chinese team, we are a JAPANESE team… And for as much as you bully her -because she actually is chinese-, she ain’t dumb… She’s just herself.”
Mikko:“It doesn’t matter.”
María (smiling):“It does matter, you little brat.”
Mikko:“How did you call me ?!?”
Hou (smiling):“小さな悪ガキ。” (Little Brat.)
Hou smiled for once… as Mikko stood there, not understanding.
María then sighed…
María:“Hou, you go away. I think I found one of the Finnish guys…”
Hou:“Uh-Uhm… O-Ok…”
Hou retired back to where Chantal, Kanna and Ryoga standed, talking.
Meanwhile, María left Mikko with a slight warning…
María:“Before you start ranting, take in mind there are non-finnish people who know Finnish…”
Mikko:“How do you know Finnish, jappie ?”
María:“Lived in Suomussalmi for a few years. Now I live in Hokkaido. AND DON’T CALL ME JAPPIE ! Stay out of trouble.”
And she left… but Mikko would completely ignore the memo.
The Other's Machines ! Meeting other teams... can go wrong
5 to 10 minutes after the Mikko Conflict.
Just as Catherine and Ángel returned, they decided to split. Catherine would try to meet the Finnish guys, while Ángel would remain with the Rhinos. However, when he realized Hou had come back, he decided that “I want to keep things balanced”… So he accompanied Catherine to meet the Finns.
First up, there was the meeting with the car of our fellow Yumes…
Chantal:“I… expected something else…”
Ryoga:“Hehe… Yeah, it’s not great, but, Ángel did a great job trying to prep it up for race day. Although, truth to tell, we are a afraid we may have brought up something that’s too much of a shitbox…”
Kanna:“Ryoga !”
Ryoga:giggles“I drive first, by the way. So I’m kinda like the experimental driver…”
Chantal:“It looks cool !”
In that precise moment, came Hou, not looking very well after a minor incident…
Hou:“U-Uuuuuhhh… H-H-Hi…”
Chantal:“Didn’t you need to go to the bathroom ?”
Hou:“I-I… S-Solved the i-issue.”
Kanna:“Awww, don’t worry, Hou. Chillax and Smooth yourself down a bit…”
Hou:“O-Ok… I-It’s just that I-I don’t like cold…”
Ryoga:“Need a warm-up hug ?”
Without asking, Ryoga hugged Hou. The girl from Chongqing got really red of embarrassment, but she wasn’t alone… Ryoga got quite red as well.
In the meantime, Kanna went to ask Chantal…
Kanna:“And I suppose you brought up the Police Car ?”
Chantal:“Yup ! It’s a Globus…”
Kanna:“María absolutely loves these cars… So does Catherine…”
Chantal:“Really ?”
Kanna:“I think you have a good chance to win… That is if you don’t break down, because these things are built to last a lot of hits… So it should be quite a survivor.”
Chantal:“L-Last time we had a small car, just like you.”
Kanna:“Did it ever split in half ?”
Kanna’s question alarmed Chantal, but she didn’t got a chance to do anything before Kanna continued…
Kanna:“Well… Ángel may have screwed us over a bit.”
Chantal:“Does your car do that !?”
Kanna:“I’m afraid… But hey, if it doesn’t, it should be quite solid too. We just hope to finish. It’d be a great success for this team. Unless we wreck extraordinarily hard, that car ain’t going in that trailer in 2 pieces…”
Chantal:“Also, I see, you have sponsors too… “Super Paper” and “Hok…” What ?”
Kanna:“Hokkaido and Northern Japan Regional Banking Corporation. The company María works for. She put on those stickers just for fun.”
Chantal:“And what is “Super Paper” ? Toilet Paper brand ?”
Chanty wouldn’t get it, but, it was actually a joke… Kanna and Ryoga started laughing and Hou actually smiled a bit.
Kanna:“No, it’s not toilet paper… It’s the… It’s the name of the car itself. We’ve put it a name !”
Chantal:“Why is that ?”
Kanna:“Well, due to the risk of the car breaking in half, we jokingly came with the name “Paper” because the car was as strong as. The original 900cc engine gave up when Hou Money-Shifted it, and Ángel put a 1.4l from an Aurora Aurinko he had sitting in his workshop…”
Chantal:“The car of the Firulais !”
Kanna:“Bee-bo ! And, tuned it, and we called it then “Super Paper”, because it sounded heroic, it sounded like if he had evolved…”
Chantal:“Like a Pokemon ! Or a Yume… Yummyse… What was it ?”
Kanna:“Yumeisotitanian.”
Chantal:“That !”
As the happy (well, if you count Hou as happy) quartet was looking at the #181 car, María, Catherine, and Ángel were on the other side of the track, looking at the Speed Freaks’ Sedlak Silva…
María:“At last, suomalaiset!”
Akseli:“Oh…”
Catherine:“Those are the Finnish guys, aren’t they ?”
Ángel:“They surely must be… Sedlak Silva with Finnish license plates…, loads of people, they speak Finnish…”
María:“Hei !”
Everyone (except Mikko, Daniel and Samuel [not present]):“Hei…!”
María:“I’m glad to see finns around… Well, except that one brat.”
Catherine:“Which brat ?”
Ángel:“Did someone get in trouble with you ?”
María:“With Hou and with Me.”
As the other trio of Y.E.A.R. discussed in Japanese, Jani interrupted them…
Jani:“I’m sorry to ask, but, who are you ?”
María:“Oh… Sorry, we haven’t introduced ourselves… We are one of your competitors…”
María/Catherine/Ángel (simultaneously):“Y-E-A-R !”
Jani:“Oh… So you are the Yumo… Yumeosite-what ?”
Ángel:sigh“You-meh-I-so-thai-taen-nyans. Yumeisotitanians. But, we are otherwise known as the Japanese team…”
Jani:“Oh… Well, welcome ! Come along.”
Alexandra:“Jani, we don’t know these people…”
María:“We should also introduce ourselves properly. Name’s María, and Next to me are Ángel and Catherine. Anyway, you see to have brought up a good car !”
Jani:“We hope to win with this ! We found it in a barn. It has the 1.8l Turbocharged engine…”
Ángel:“One of my teachers had one back at Vladivostok. I know these cars really well because he always asked me to fix it, hehe…”
While Ángel’s initial joke may not have been so friendly, he continued to remind everyone that it was…
Ángel:“…Still, something better than what we brought.”
Jani:“What did you bring ?”
Ángel:“A Qua Kruzar. It doesn’t have the original engine…”
Jani:“Why ?”
María:“Well, to put it quite simply, tämä idiootti bought our car in an auction. And it had a 900cc engine under the lid…”
Ángel:“I can’t be blamed ! I truly thought it was a GT !”
María:“Well… After one of our teammates blew the engine up, we replaced it with an engine from an Aurora Aurinko…”
Kari:“Those Finnish Auroras ! Glad you have Finnish horsepower driving that thing !”
Ángel:“It was from a car I used in an event called the “Shitbox Rally”. The engine almost never let me down, so that’s why we are using it… Besides, it was better than the one we had…”
Alexandra:“Leaving that aside… What happened to you ?”
Ángel:“Oh, this ?”
Ángel said pointing towards the eyepatch…
Alexandra:“Yes !”
Catherine:“Little Milksweet got injured as a war victim during a short conflict in the Kurils when he was younger…”
Ángel:“We are all from the Kuril Islands, except Hou, who isn’t present, but, is Chinese, and my Honey Bunny who is Canadian…”
Alexandra:“A fellow Canadian. Glad to hear !”
Catherine:“Je suis heureux d’apprendre que je ne suis pas le seul Canadien ici.”
Alexandra:“I-I’m from Ontario… You ?”
Catherine:“Nunavut. Sorry if you didn’t understood the french.”
Alexandra:“No problem.”
Ángel:“Meanwhile, I wanna check on your cars, because… They look awesome. I particularly like the ones of you and you… I mean, I like them all, but, if I had to choose my favorites, it would be the Yellow Car over there, and the wagon…”
Henrik:“Really ?”
Ángel:“I’m more of a sleeper car guy… I don’t like my car to look fast, and I personally like older cars… NEVER owned a car made after the year 2000… Partly because of a lack of interest and also partly because of a lack of money…”
Kari:“That’s the spirit !”
Ángel:“Yeah…”
Catherine:“Anyway… Do you have food ?”
Henrik:“I think we still have some sausages don’t we…?”
Mikko came back not long after Catherine asked that… He came along with Samuel and Daniel, which seemed quite pleased for having earned some cash thru ventii…
Let’s say, for Mikko, the fact that María was now talking with his teammates was anything but good… But interestingly, the woman didn’t even know Mikko was part of their team… She initially had said thought, but later she downgraded him for being just a brat. She thought he may be one of the locals… Boy, how wrong she was…
Mikko:“Eh ? What are you doing along with them ?”
María:“Oh, it’s that kid again…”
Alexandra:“Do you know Mikko ?”
María:“Ah, yes, that brat…”
Ángel, in a moment of bravery, decided to intervene. And speaking his best Finnish, he tried to calm down Mikko’s temper.
Ángel:“Aye, bud… I’m sorry, but, we don’t want any more trouble… Not that you are bad to me or anything, but…”
Mikko:“Don’t tell me that the stupid Jappie told you !”
Alexandra:“Mikko…”
Mikko:“That woman… Uhhhh…”
Mikko attempted to come out with a lie, but Ángel interrupted him.
Ángel:“I mean, I can’t blame you if María is sometimes a bit of a temper volcano, but, hey, you should chillax too… Word of a good racer here !”
And just as he said that, Mikko’s Anger rised to 11…
Another good driver ! WHAT IF HE WAS A RALLY DRIVER !? He had to take things seriously…
Without hesitation, he stomps on Ángel’s bare foot… And the pain of our favorite mind reader begins… He jumps on pain.
Mikko then pushes him out of the way, making Ángel to fall over…
Ángel:“Ayo ! I was trying to make you cool down, not to heat up ! Ack… M-My foot…”
Mikko:“Don’t talk to me !”
Ángel:“S-Sorry…”
Alexandra:“Don’t say sorry to him, Ángel. Mikko should be the one saying sorry to you…”
Mikko:“Shut up !”
María:“You should be the one shutting up.”
Mikko:“Don’t You Dare !”
Jani:“Mikko, please… We already got in trouble with the Rhinos, we don’t want more…”
Mikko:“Don’t You realize, you dumbass ? He’s a good racer ! A GOOD RACER !”
Catherine:“And a good mechanic as well…”
Mikko:“On top of that he’s a good mechanic ?!? Don’t fuck me up with this !”
Ángel:“Please everyone calm down !”
Mikko:“Don’t You tell me to calm down, jappie twat !”
Ángel was usually a really chill guy. But that night, Mikko seemed to make his rag come loose… but still, he’d keep himself contained…
Ángel:“Well, to be fair with you, I’m not the one who is a twat…”
Mikko:“Excuse me !?”
Ángel:“Because I don’t get in trouble. That’s my style. I don’t like to get in trouble, even when I do almost consistently. Hell, I didn’t even want to get in trouble with you. And also, why are you obsessed with the fact that I’m a good driver ?”
Mikko:“Because you are a direct opponent in my way to victory !”
Meanwhile, Samuel and Daniel had a small discussion themselves…
Samuel:“I thought the Japanese would be more respectful than this…”
Daniel:“He probably is. Just that not now. So he fails the test.”
Samuel:“Stupid Asians.”
This battle could’ve carried on… But Catherine had enough, and decided to put an end to it for now… The massive Canadian Girl decided to block both Mikko and Angel, who just seemed ready for getting into a real fight… And not long after they both started calming down (albeit Mikko calmed down a lot slower than Ángel, who got back to himself in less than a few minutes), the 3 members of the Japanese sextet left.
This left the rest of the Speed Freaks to have a discussion with Mikko, which didn’t make anything smoother…
Post-Meeting Teams Team Meeting
Some 45 minutes after meeting the Speed Freaks.
The Night was a bit stressful. Apparently, Y.E.A.R. wasn’t enjoying dinner… Sure, while a pizza always felt great, María was… just not in the mood…
María:“Don’t you see I’m lactose intolerant, Catherine ?”
Catherine:“Not my problem… Besides… I personally don’t want to discuss anymore. The troubles with the guys from Finland are giving me a bit of a sour taste.”
Ángel:“Nah… I’m sure Mikko… or whatever was he called is just a bit overly competitive. If that guy relaxes, I’m sure he’ll be golden.”
María:“Well… I don’t know what Hou will think of that.”
Hou:“I mean… He was really mean with me… I don’t think he’s just overly competitive.”
Ángel:“Well… In that case, the best we can do is not getting in trouble with that guy. I’m sure we haven’t left a very good impression of ourselves with them.”
Kanna:“At least Chanty loves us. That girl is so… Me… I look like her Japanese twin.”
Ryoga:“I can agree… And I’m pretty sure Jan’s one cool guy too… He’s just gotta come out of his bubble.”
Catherine:“I particularly liked both Alexandra and Jani… Although the rest of the Finnish team was good too.”
Ángel:“Except Mikko… My foot still hurts. Lucky me, I have to drive rather late…”
Ryoga:“Aaaaaand, thanks for reminding me… Anyway, I’m going to bed… Well, the Minivan.”
María:“We are all sleeping in that thing ?”
Kanna:“C’mon María, don’t complain… You haven’t even bitten your pizza…”
María:“Because I can’t eat it !”
Catherine:“Give it to me, then.”
This irrelevant discussion was coupled with refining the plans for race day’s driving schedule…
However, María was not only stressed out by her lack of food -she’d eventually get to eat a burger (without cheese), so that got solved rather quickly-, but also by so many other things:
Her job was on the line.
The dark part of her soul was pushing harder.
and Mikko Harjanne was a great source of stress.
She just hoped, same as the rest of the team, to finish… Or, if not, to fail by a mechanical failure, and not by a wreck.
And so, Y.E.A.R. (or, well, most of), went to sleep in the Minivan, some with higher hopes than others.
And that ends the Pre-Race Episode !
Now, yes, I’ll put the drawings of the prologue soon enough (a lack of time and other endeavours have really cut out time to make the drawings of this story). This part will also (hopefully) feature drawings.
Also, if you’ve read till the end, María, Ángel, and Kanna are all available for some more roleplay, so just ask.
Featuring:
@Happyhungryhippo (The Rhino Squad), and also @nicxv (Sienajoki Speed Freaks)
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Team Highway Hooligans
Pre-Race, Part 2
Höljes, At the Track
With their car “ready to race” as much as it could be, for a pile of junkyard scrap bodged together to run out here today, the Hooligans start wandering around to get a look at the various cars here.
Well… Most of them did, anyway. Scott, however, decided to give in to his ancient instincts, climbing up onto the pit-box roof and laying down, watching the chaos from an entirely different vantage point, his tail casually draped over the side.
Cody glances over at Scott as the remaining trio walk around. “Does he really have to do that?”
“He’s our best driver. I think we can afford to let him have his quirks until an official shouts at him to get down from there,” Jake replies, looking over the Sedlak Silva of the Seinäjoki Speed Freaks (@nicxv for your mention) and giving a shrug.
“What do you think?” Trevor inquires.
“It’s a shit-bucket… But they’re all shit-buckets,” Jake replies.
“Personally, I think the car’s fine, but the team… Handful of idiots and a loose cannon worse than my brother. Hoping like hell he doesn’t decide to tangle with Scott - Wouldn’t mind them losing their “best” driver, but we’d get ours kicked out too,” Cody adds, looking over the car.
Jake shrugs. “Scott’s from West Chicago, a place he said makes “shitholes look safe,” so… anything gets started, he’ll finish it.”
“And yet you said we had to go unarmed,” Trevor grumbles.
“Legally speaking, we all are,” Jake answers, giving a glance to Scott, who was busy looking up over his own shoulder at the Trafikjournalen car, “but he doesn’t have to register his claws as a weapon.”
“Fuck, that’d hurt,” Cody mumbles. “So, what car we lookin’ at next?”
Trevor points to the Qua Kruzar of Team Y.E.A.R. (@Angelustyle for your mention) “I almost feel bad for them. A ping-pong ball in a field full of paddles.”
“I wonder if I could drift the ass out and bounce them off the wall…”
“Don’t be an asshole to them, Cody,” Jake warns. “Karma will kick our ass if we are.”
“Oh, the Rhinos are back!” Cody shouts, pointing over at the Rhino Squad’s Globus Grand Cruiser (@Happyhungryhippo for your mention).
“That’ll be fun. Battle of the Full-Sizes. You figure they still got their V8, or did they have to swap down to something less fun?” Trevor inquires.
“Probably the V8. Though we might give 'em a good run with the turbocharged I5 under our hood,” Jake replies.
“Until the charge pipe explodes, or the turbo bearings go, or a rod exits the crankcase at speed. Remember - everything in there has been sitting on my lot for at least 5 years,” Trevor says, glancing back at the car and taking a quick look at the lounging humanoid leopard that was Scott.
“Good fucking God…”
“What is it, Jake?” Cody asks. Jake simply points to Team Bugs in the Code (help!)'s car (@Fayeding_Spray for the mention) and shakes his head. Cody follows his finger and grins. “Nice! That’ll be fun out there.”
“It’s a mighty great ear-banger. Scott’ll hate it, but that’s just incentive to keep it behind him,” Trevor quips.
“Dude, they got all the memes on it, too,” Cody adds.
“I’m doubling up my hearing protection so I don’t go deaf with that thing around,” Jake grumbles.
“Ah, so Rowan’s the quiet one in your relationship when it comes to pillow talk,” Cody quips, only to duck under a friendly swat and then grunt when Jake grabs Cody’s shirt, hauls it over his head, and back-hand him in the gut with his left hand. “Fuck, that ain’t even fair!”
“You got a two inch height advantage on me and you’re bitchin’ that I managed to make you look like a baboon’s butt?”
Trevor just laughs, leading the group back toward their own car.
(Open for collabs if anyone wants to.)
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I can be a switch villain if necessary, but i’d need a reason for one of my two slightly unhinged drivers to lash out.
(Also due to life circumstances its unlikely i will be a involved as i had hoped this time round, but i will try. Unfortunately this does mean no in detail description of the damage to my car, but i feel that what i’ve already provided is sufficient enough for rp purposes)
Yes, it was “shitboxy” enough, so to speak, don’t worry there.
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Team Vet Inte - Pre Race Part 1
The team arrived in their newly acquired and fully packed Cago 200 to the track. After unpacking the massive load that was parts from the large estate trunk, the team started discussing what to do next.
“I don’t think we should bother the others yet.” Said Rasmus, trying to find the missing 10mm socket he swore he packed. “Let’s leave that to the evening when everyone is set up.”
“And has a beer in their hand” Added Andreas. “I think I’ll try to look around, see what the others got.” The team walked out of the garage, onto the back road behind the pit building.
“Like you would know. Tell me, how fast do you think that thing is?” Jonathan pointed at the Qua Kruzar a few garages down. “A lot fast” answered Andreas, seeing the sporty wedge shape which one would associate with a fast car. “I can also see someone brought the same car we did.”
The rest of the team burst out in laughter. “See, that’s why we won’t let you anywhere near the Cago because you would try finding electronics at the exhaust manifold. That, my man, is not a Cago. That’s a WAZ - probably as shit a car as ours, but entirely different. And that sporty thing, the Qua Kruzar I could probably outrun myself, unless it’s a GT.” Jonathan knew cars quite well, as did Rasmus and Martin. “Well to be honest, I thought that would be fast too” said Uncle.
Martin then spotted something man shaped on the roof. The team chose to go closer to investigate. The man shaped thing remained man shaped, but as the team got closer they started to spot features of a big cat.
As if it was instinct, the first question wasn’t who they were, or what they were doing but a “How did you get up there?” from Rasmus. “I jumped, grabbed onto the edge, and hauled myself up. It’s like getting out of the pool back home, just with less water.” As it turned out after some more communication, the humanoid leopard’s name was Scott, and he was there to look at other cars and teams. “Well, we’ll have to find another way” said Rasmus.
Minutes of looking for a ladder or any other to get up ensued. Uncle managed to get himself up there with the opposite of grace where the ground was a bit higher, and carefully walked along the roof looking for structural support. “I guess you could use the car as stairs.” he said jokingly not expecting the idea to land that well.
Not long after the team brought the Cago. Rasmus went up there first, then came Andreas. When Martin got onto the bonnet, the quietness of the track was broken up by a bellow of a wild animal. Not the one you are expecting, it was Martin. “What have you done to the bloody roof man!” There was a visible dent after two grown men used it as stairs. “I think we shouldn’t do any more of this.” Martin was a bit calmer now as he climbed back down.
(this is already a bit too long, so tbc. Collab with @Madrias. Mentioned @Angelustyle and @0rangeGhost)
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So. I have gone through all the car stats now (yes, there were some small rules violations that I have adjusted, because the more the merrier after all), so soon the race can start. Just so you know that this is not forgotten. 
So for people still wanting to do some pre-race RP, it is time to do it now.
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I had planned to post this all earlier, so this takes place chronologically before the most recent RP postings, but I figured I’d share this before it’s absolutely too late:
Hans gets an idea
Gothenburg, Sweden
Hans Gustavson flipped through a copy of Trafikjournalen while he sipped his coffee. He liked to think of it as doing research for his job. After all, he was the Vice President for Marketing of Constellation Motors of Sweden, and it was his responsibility to perform “market research,” wasn’t it? He flipped a page and came across a full page advertisement. Trafikjournalen was now accepting entrants for this year’s running of the 24 Hours of Clunkers. Interesting. He had always found that race fascinating.
“Should I enter?”, he thought. The thought was almost a surprise to himself. Sure, he still liked to get out on the track every now and then, but it had been ages since he’d actually entered a race, and thought his racing days were long behind him.
When he was a much younger man, he had driven professionally, including a few years driving for the Flint Motors team on the German Group A circuit back in the 80’s. Of course, there was a difference between being a professional and being a successful one, and after a thoroughly mediocre season (that he liked to blame on the dang American engineers designing a muscle car that could only go fast in a straight line), he used his connections from the racing team to transition into a job as a test driver for Constellation Motors–the European subsidiary of Flint Motors, which was headquartered–of course–in Flint, Michigan, USA.
Then had come a family, a move to a desk job, and all the responsibilities that had made it increasingly difficult to get out on the track with any kind of regularity, much less enter races. But he did have more time in schedule now that his youngest had moved out, he thought. And while he had to admit his reflexes weren’t as sharp as they once were, he had felt good the last time he had gotten out on the track.
Hans set aside the magazine, took another sip of his coffee, and turned toward his computer. He also liked to occasionally just browse used car listings, again in the name of “market research.” After all, he thought, it was good for him to know what old Constellations were selling for. And old Flints too, he thought. After all, while the American manufacturer had established Constellation specifically to create European-designed, European-built cars for European markets, Constellation also served as the distributor for the small trickle of American-made Flints that for whatever reason the Americans thought might appeal to European consumers.
As he scrolled through a page of listings, a price caught his eye. A very low price. What was it for? A 1995 Flint Sovereign Limited Coupe. Hmm. He didn’t see many of those cars on the market anymore, especially since they had never really sold much in the first place. The 1994 facelift of the Sovereign had been panned for poor handling and had drawn overblown accusations of using “junkyard engines” after the automotive press revealed that some of the production run was fitted with surplus engines from prior years while an engine factory was being re-tooled. Of course, there was nothing actually wrong with the engines, which had been carefully stored, quality-checked, and reconditioned as needed, but the so-called “scandal” had been hugely embarrassing for Flint. After all, the company’s motto was “Quality First.”
Well, some genius in Michigan had come up with the idea that to restore public confidence in the Sovereign and the Flint brand more broadly, the company would rush into production for 1995 a “sport coupe” with improved handling, an all-wheel drive system, and a new engine. Never mind that the Sovereign was a full-size behemoth. And while they were at it, the American execs had decided to launch it in European markets, forecasting that it would compete well with the likes of the BMW 8-series and the Mercedes-Benz CL. Those forecasts were optimistic, to say the least, and the plug was pulled on the coupe after just a few years on both sides of the Atlantic.
So, Hans thought, where had this survivor of this rare breed come from, and why was it so cheap?
He clicked on the listing, and pictures of the car came up. Oh…that was why it was so cheap. The car was a motley assortment of faded paint, rust, and cheap, weathered aftermarket plastic. One of the headlight covers was missing, a rear window was cracked, and the hood had obviously been replaced with a part from a different car that was a completely different color. Oh, and everything back of the rear seats appeared to have been torn out. And was that a tow ball on the back?
The listing read:
Selling a 1995 Flint Sovereign Limited Coupe for 5,000 krona or best offer. This car was included with a property I purchased, where it was stored in a shed. The realtor who sold me the place told me the prior owner of the property was an old man who hadn’t been able to drive for years, and his family didn’t want or need the car, so they were selling. I don’t know the last time it was run, but I put in a new battery, and it runs and drives. Rear seat is missing. Several exterior panels have obviously been replaced, and the paint is not in good condition. Odometer reads 473,841 km but doesn’t appear to be ticking over anymore. Tires probably need replacement. Might be a good car for a mechanic looking for something to work on.
Hans leaned back and ran his fingers through his gray hair. First, he’d seen the Trafikjournalen ad for the 24 Hours of Clunkers. Then, he’d seen this listing. It felt like a sign. 5,000 krona. That was under the 24 Hours of Clunkers budget limit. He looked back at the listing for the seller’s telephone number and started dialing. “Hello,” he said. “I saw your listing for a Flint Sovereign, and I’d like to buy it…”
Sam joins the team
Hull, England, U.K.
A few days later, Samantha Prescott was intently focused on 3D-modeling a glovebox release mechanism at her desk in the engineering department of Constellation Motors headquarters when the phone rang. She glanced over at the caller ID, smiled to herself, and picked up.
“Hans,” she said, “to what do I owe the honor of this call? Unless you’re calling with thoughts on Swedish market preferences for whether a glovebox should close with a ‘click’ or a ‘clunk,’ I’m afraid there’s not much I can probably do for you at the moment.”
Hans chuckled. Sam was a low-ranking engineer more than 30 years his junior, and for solely business purposes, there was absolutely no reason for the Vice President of Marketing for Sweden to be having a morning chat with someone in Sam’s position. But Sam and Hans had struck up an unlikely friendship a few years ago at a corporate retreat after he introduced himself to her after being impressed by her driving at a track day event t. After that, conversation turned to what they discovered to be a shared love of racing, and they had kept in touch since.
“No, Sam, I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything about Swedish market preferences. Although personally, I think I’m more of a ‘clunk’ person. Anyway, Sam, are you still racing on weekends?”
“Every chance I get, Hans. You know there’s nothing I love more than racing!”
Sam was an avid amateur racer who had been racing anything with a motor that she could since she was a child.
“Hmm…are you sure about that, Sam? I thought what you really loved was winning. What was it you said to me once…something about you’d rather crash than lose?”
Now it was Sam’s turn to chuckle. “I believe it was that I would rather crash trying to win than play it safe just trying to not lose. After all, who cares about your ability to rack up a bunch of mid-pack finishes?”
“Yes, Sam, but there’s always a balance. Take the opportunities that present themselves on the track, but don’t force them!”
“Did you really call me this morning just to give me a lecture about what you call being ‘too aggressive’ on the track?”
Hans scoffed. “What, me? Lecture? Of course not! I was actually calling because I want you to race with me.”
“With you?” Sam replied. “Where?”
“Have you ever heard of the 24 Hours of Clunkers?”
“Say no more. Count me in. Is this an official company thing?”
“No, I don’t think the company would want us representing them by driving a beat-up old Sovereign that very well might blow up on us.”
“A Sovereign, you said? You already have the car?”
“Yes, I bought it on the weekend. Changed all the fluids and drove it all the way home. Can’t say there aren’t some odd sounds and smells from the engine at times, but it runs pretty good all things considered.”
“And what are ‘all things’?”
“Well, sat in a shed for a few years not being run. And the seller has no idea about the service history since the car apparently came with a property he bought. Not to mention that the body panels look like they’re from about 3 different cars.”
Sam shrugged. “Well, I guess they call it the 24 Hours of Clunkers for a reason. What year did you say?”
“I don’t know if I did, but it’s a 95. Sport Coupe.”
“No! You’ve got to be kidding me. A sport coupe? I thought they only ever sold, like, five of those.”
“Mmm, that might be too generous of an estimate. But yes. A sport coupe!”
“Well, then, I suppose you can count me in. After all, who could pass up a chance to race in a 30-year-old bucket of bolts that might possibly fall apart or blow up any minute?”
Hans chuckled. “That’s the spirit! So, we still need at least one more driver. Do you know anybody who might be interested? Maybe somebody you race with on the weekend?”
“Let me think.” Sam looked up at the ceiling for a moment, then gasped with a flash of realization. “Oh, I have the perfect person for this!”
Hank gets a call
Flint, Michigan, U.S.A.
Hank Richmond was standing under a car lift, wrench in hand, when his phone rang. He set the wrench down, grabbed a towel to wipe his greasy hands, and fished his phone from his pocket. He looked at the name on the screen and frowned in confusion. Samantha Prescott. Why was she calling at this hour?
“Sam? What time is it where you are? It’s gotta be, what, 2 am or something? Is everything OK?”
“Yes, Hank,” said Samantha Prescott. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m having visions of glovebox latch schematics run through my head every time I lie down. Speaking of which, before I forget, do you like a glovebox that closes with more of a ‘click’ or more of a ‘clunk’?.”
“Well, my primary concern would be to make sure that the latch remains closed in the event of a serious collision so that the glovebox’s contents don’t become dangerous projectiles in the passenger cabin.”
Sam chuckled. Of course that was the answer she should have expected from one of the company’s most senior safety engineers. She recalled the first time Hank had been tasked with reviewing her team’s work and had found fault with things Sam didn’t even think you could have an opinion on. A headrest failed to extend high enough to provide protection to the small percentage of occupants who were 2 meters tall. A headliner was too thin to provide protection against neck injury in a rollover. She had actually hated Hank while he was just a name associated with nit-picky comments on a page. That had changed when she had met him on a trip to headquarters in Flint a few years ago, and she had found that he was not just meticulous about safety but was also warm, compassionate, and happy to share wisdom with a junior engineer. She had considered him a mentor ever since.
“Don’t worry, Hank,” Sam said, “I’ve learned my lesson with these sorts of things, and I’ve run those calculations.”
“Good, glad to see you’re learning. In that case, I guess I”d say I’m a solid ‘clunk’ kind of guy. But is that really what you called me at 2 am to talk about?”
“No, actually. Have you ever heard of the 24 Hours of Clunkers?”
“The 24 Hours of what?”
“Clunkers. LIke junky old cars.”
“Yeah, I know what a clunker is, but what are you talking about?”
“It’s a race put on every year by a car magazine in Sweden. Teams enter old, junky, cheap cars and see if they can make it all 24 hours.”
“OK…and why are you calling me about this in the middle of the night?”
“I want you to join my team.”
“Your team? What team? You’re entering this clunkers race?”
“Yes. Right now it’s me and Hans. He’s a former race car driver and works for Constellation too. He came up with the idea. And look, I know you like racing your restored cars, so I thought this would be perfect for you!”
Hank frowned. “I don’t know how much of a racer I’d really say that I am. I mean, I like getting my cars out there and putting them through their paces, but that’s just for the fun of it. There has to be someone better you can find.”
“Did I mention that Hans already found us a car?”
“No. But why would it matter what hunk of junk you’re driving?”
“Hank. It’s a sport coupe. A Sovereign sport coupe. ‘95 model.” Sam couldn’t stop herself from grinning. She knew she had Hank now.
“A ‘95 Sovereign, huh? You know, that generation was the first project I worked on when I joined the company.”
Sam did, in fact, know this, since Hank had told her at length about it before.
“Really, was it?” Sam said, smiling to herself.
“Yep. I was on the team responsible for determining the number, location, and sensitivity for the front airbag sensors. It was a big deal at the time that we were going with dual frontal airbags. I’m proud to say that not once did we get sued over the airbag design in that Sovereign.”
“Is that the sort of thing people sue about?”
“Oh sure,” Hank went on. “There have been all kinds of lawsuits over airbag designs, especially some of those ‘90s designs. Claims that the airbags caused injuries because they went off when they shouldn’t have. Or that they didn’t go off when they should have. Or that they went off with too much force and actually caused injuries. That’s why I always say–”
“I know, I know,” Sam cut in. “There’s no such thing as an insignificant part.” How many times had she heard Hank say that before when she was lamenting being stuck with designing what seemed like some completely trivial subcomponent?
“That’s right. Take that glovebox you’re working on. Not just from a safety perspective, but how many times have you read a car review that says something like, ‘Storage space in the cabin is generous and easily accessible’ or says something like, ‘The interior components feel cheap and flimsy’? You can have millions of R&D into a car, dozens of engineers, and a real technological marvel, but all the things that work without a problem aren’t going to get a mention. But have a storage bin that’s hard to access? I bet you 9 times out of 10 that’s going to pop up in a review of that car.”
Sam sighed. “I know, Hank. It’s just that, you know, I didn’t exactly get into automotive design just so I could be up at 2 am having visions of glovebox latches.”
“Patience, Sam, patience. Just stay focused on doing good work, and soon enough you’ll get more responsibility.”
“Auggh, I know! But you and I both know that patience is not something that comes to me naturally!”
Hank chuckled, “True, true.”
There was a pause.
“So,” said Sam. “About the race…”
“Right,” said Hank. “Do we get to fix up the car first?”
“Well, there’s a very limited budget for repairs. I think Hans already spent most of it on new tires. It’s more of an exercise in keeping it together with duct tape than fixing it up.”
“And what kind of condition is it in?”
“Well…it’s sat in a shed for a few years and appears to have been used as a farm vehicle before that. Someone tore out the rear seats and slapped a tow ball on the rear.”
“Huh, sounds like a challenge. I like a good challenge. And to do it with a ‘95 Sovereign. You know I love those cars.”
“I know, Hank.” Hank on one occasion had waxed on about how the model’s futuristic design had been woefully underappreciated in its day. There was a reason why Sam had told Hans that she had the “perfect” person for their team.
There was another pause.
“Well, send me the details, and I’ll think about it.”
“Great! I’m looking forward to seeing you in Sweden!”
“No, Sam, I’m not–”
“Trust me Hank, you’re going to love it! I’m so glad you joined our team! Goodnight, Hank!”
“No, Sam,” Hank started, but he realized that the line had gone dead. He grinned and shook his head. That was Sam for you.
Hank put his phone in his pocket, cleaned up his tools, and walked into his house.
“Honey,” he said, “How would you feel if I took a trip to Sweden?”
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Part 3: The Nilferts being the Nilferts…
*in cooperation with @Elizipeazie, @Knugcab (Team Trafikjournalen), @nicxv (Speed Freaks), @Madrias (Highway Hooligans) and @Angelustyle (YEAR)
Chanty spotted Angel, and ran towards him from behind, and made a weird jump-hug - and Angel, being as small as Chanty but much lighter, had no chance and fell to the ground
“AH! HELP”
“Oh… sorry… I was just so excited”
“Oh, it`s you? It´s fine.”
Both celebrated their reunification with an intense hug, and Thomas and Jan smiled a bit, because Chanty seems a lot better than at Shitbox Rallye, mainly because this isn´t so far away, she can keep contact with her mother, and also she isn´t so long away from home.
“We follow them?”
“No, Jan… let her focus on the Firu… eeh,…”
“Y.E.A.R.”
“Yes, that Yumotomomoto…eh, unspellable thing. We are already invited at the Hooligans.”
“Thomas, you invited yourself because they have beer.”
“I AM INVITED. It doesn´t matter by whom. Follow me. I don´t think you`ll have fun if you always do your own thing like in Holsia, so give me company. We must make use of the fact that Chantal is able to get along with herself at the moment, and let her be free of supervision. OH, what is that? An ARVA Kondor!”
“Why do old people ask questions just to answer them then in the same sentence? This is so weird!”
“Jan… get yourself a beer to ease up, I will follow soon, I just want to take a look at that Arva.”
Thomas stepped to the car, pushed against the roof to see how worn the shock absorbers are, kicked against the tire wall to check the pressure, and other typical moves of an old mechanic, which the Team Trafikjournalen of course noticed.
Erik Carlén looked over at the tire kicking german geezer.
“You’re interested in buying this piece of shit? Give me the contents of a beach ball and it is yours. You can keep the actual beach ball, just give me the air…”
“Stop that bullshit”,
Hansen replied.
“It is good as new…almost.”
“If something is as good as a new ARVA Kondor it will never even be close to good”
, was the cynical answer Carlén gave Hansen.
“Hm, if I didn´t have like 50 cars in my yard, it would be tempting, but I guess not much of it will be left by the end of the race”
“Does it look like if there is much left of it now?”,
Carlén answered.
“What is even tempting with this one?”.
“Eh. Some small adjustment and it will be fine for 24 hours. But I am actually leaning towards agreeing with our potential buyer.”
, Hansen said with a sigh.
“I know these cars, weren´t they introduced in the early 80s?”
“Hmm, yes, 1982”
, Carlén said.
“At least it was said so officially, who knows if the first year models were some kind of Potemkin cars made out of fiberboard or something”
, Hansen laughed.
“This is a 1989, last year before the first facelift”
, Hansen continued.
“I used to run away from those in 1982 when they were painted black, and I can confirm they were crappy, since… one lost its rear axle when chasing me over a sidewalk.”
Carlén and Hansen went quiet at the same time. Hearing the german accent of the guy, and…
“I…understand”
, Carlén said quietly.
“I…very much understand”
, Hansen answered.
“Uh…yes. And…I guess if our third member was here…he would not get the reference.”
, Carlén stuttered with his speech.
“Nah. Probably not.”
“Now that the threat is gone, I have lost my hate against them. Funny, I was afraid to sit in them before but now that I can sit in the backseat without fear, they were stripped out. Bad luck, haha!”
“It smelled like manure anyway”
, Hansen said.
“The backseat of my police cruiser was full of… bulletholes, blood, sweat, urine …and donut crumbles…”
“Ah. You’re the one that brought the Globus in here?”
, Carlén asked.
“Bet it will be like driving an oil tanker through a creek. Not that this behemoth is much better…”
“Well, my son-in-law almost died last year in a compact car, and… my daughter would be heartbroken if that happened this year for real, so I wanted to play it safe there. The Grand Cruiser is really able to take some beating, but yes, it really doesn´t want to turn, and it´s not as fast in a straight as it should be, but that was the only one in the shitbox budget. I hate cheating, so I didn´t invest a lot in spare parts.”
“Ah. That blue thing that got…flat?”
, Hansen asked.
“Well, it was a bit over the top last year one must say. Some cars less this year so should be a bit more space on the track, but…that exocage shitbox…nah, I am not sure what to think about that I guess. Have you seen it?”
“No, it was green, my daughter called it Kermit… her new car is blue, it´s called Sonic, like the SEGA hedgehog. Well, she misses kermit and even tatooed the VIN on herself… and the Corsa, well, these things are quite tough mechanically. I am just not sure if that exocage will be backfiring if its bent against the ground or such, and it can also be quite dangerous if it breaks… I don´t want to be impaled. Is that even within the rules?”
“Ah. For some weird reason I remember green things as blue, and vice versa, sometimes”
, Hansen said.
“Probably your head took some hit in some previous 24h race”
, Carlén told him,
“The same hit that made you buy this rolling shitshow”.
“Within the rules and within the rules”
, Hansen said.
“To me it feels like an abuse of the old saying that what’s not outright banned will technically be allowed”.
“So, your car looks like you need a lot of beer to make it look roadworthy, so, you have some in spare? I am running a bit low on fuel there… I mean, I have a blue-haired daughter, I guess I don´t need to explain why my beers are draining as if your Kondor engine uses it…”
“Nope, no luck here”
, Hansen said.
“And if I spot any drunk driving I will make sure that the punishment is to have the butt sewn together with the drivers seat in a beige 1994 Mara Zora”
, Hansen answered with more than a grain of salt.
“Oh, don´t worry, I won´t drive soon, so I use the opportunity… anyway, I guess the Hooligans are a good fuel station then. It was nice to have a chatter with you, good luck then and, most important, no serious accidents.”
“That freakshow is good for anything you have no use for in a race, I guess. Have fun!”
, Carlén answered.
Thomas gave all three a polite handshake, and headed to the Hooligans.
“THOMAS, YOU LEAKING WHISKY BARREL!”
“Ah, Trevor, the weird drunkard. You look as shit as ever!”
“Yes, on purpose! I don´t want you to feel shit when standing next to me with that ugly ass face. Join us, we have…”
“Beer! Two please!.. eh, DON´T GIVE IT JAN! I WANTED BOTH. I need a counterbalance at the other side.”
“At your age, I might suggest a walker to keep balance.”
“Guys, why do have old men always have to insult each other?”
“Oh, if you call that already insulting… you shouldn´t be around when I am insulting for real”
answered Cody, but with a warm laughter.
“Where is your fa…, eeeh… fluffy daughter?”
“With the… eh… Yumototo… eh…”
“I see, the Firu…”
“NO, TREVOR! JUST SAY YEAR LIKE ALL SANE PEOPLE DO. Dear god, guys, is it that hard?”
“Jan, you punkrock Prince Charming from Wish… get a beer and relax. So, is your walking blue flag doing ok?”
“Yes, she is getting more and more used to work in the garage with me and notices herself now that she is of real help and actually does something for her money… I think it will build up confidence, but she still thinks of herself that she is the worst person on earth…”
“That can´t be true Thomas, at least not as long as Cody is alive…”
“YEAH, FUCK YOU TOO, TREVOR!”
“So, we have a taxi and you have a cop car, some matching fullsize junk then”
“Yes, Jake, I made a bargain and felt like it´s solid enough in this demolition derby.”
“Isn´t it overpowered? The top-level police spec has over 300 horses.”
“Nah, one cylinder bank is constantly switching on and off, it misfires, and some other goofs… It`s still fast, but the dyno results said it´s so worn down that it´s approved…”
“Ah yes, Globus, they are even troublesome in the brochure.”
“Thats a prejudgement, Trevor!”
“It isnt. I cut my finger on the paper of such a brochure.”
“Yes, because of the sharp design of the cars.”
The Hooligans laughed hard and spilled some beer.
“Thomas, give me your bottle, whatever you drink, I want that shit, too!”
The next moring, Chantals usually morning stretching caused a bit of problems in the camping trailer, that is suitable for two persons, but a bit small for three…
“NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWW”
“ARGH! YOU HIT ME!”
<“Sorry dad… but… I need my space!”
“YOU NEED A LOT MORE THAN THAT, CHANTAL! ARGH! I will make us some coffee.”
“Oh, a good idea. Some fried eggs, too?”
“That… won´t be enough… I am really super hungry. I think I will drive to McDonalds.”
“Eh, Chantal, HAVE YOU LOOKED OUTSIDE? DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THERE IS ANY MC DONALDS IN THIS NO MANS LAND?”
“THOMAS! Not that loud this early!”
“BUT WHERE DO I GET FOOD NOW?”
“CAN YOU TWO BE LESS LOUD? DAMN! I will make some fried eggs and bacon now. Chanty, you might ask the Team Trafikjournalen, because they might know the area…”
“BAAAH! That coffee is cold! Yeah, I will just get ready and then get some food.”
Chanty spots the Team Trafikjournalen, as Thomas described the Trafikjournalen Team good enough. She braked a bit too late, and tried to put the Imperator into reverse, but the wobbly gear selector made her end up in N without noticing, and when the car didn´t move, she intentionally revved up the Diesel that covered the team in a stinky black diesel smoke cloud, as the engine was still cold.
“Ah crap, these old cars are really weird to operate, but at least they look cool. Now I am in reverse! But… I can´t see out of the window, crap.”
“At least something smokes worse than your Sanju car transporter truck”
, Carlén said to Hansen with a laugh.
“What the fuck IS this freakshow?”
, Hansen sighed.
Chanty exits the car that rolled now against the Kondor, but no serious damage seems to have happened.
“Sorry, I rarely use automatics, aaaargh!”
“Watch the paintjob!”
, Hansen said to Chanty with a cynical tone.
Chanty went to the backseat, got nail polish out of her bag and painted the little scratch on the Arva in a more or less matching color, then looked at the scratched chrome of the Primus bumper, and started to cry, but thankfully did not lose it completely in front of the strangers.
“OH NO! I am dead when my father sees this…”
From nowhere, it seems like, Filip Andersson appeared, looking at Chanty with a blushing face.
“Ehh…ehehe…ehm…NAH YOU KNOW THIS IS AN EASY…HEHEHE…FIX…Ehehehhehehmmm…”
, he stuttered, quickly went into Hansen’s Sanju LD40 getting some rags and polish, smearing it with a questionable result over the scratch on the Primus bumper.
“Ehh…ehe…he.eh…hardly…noticeable!”
“At least wipe it all off, Romeo”
, Hansen sighed, and got a dirty rag thrown at him.
“THANKS A LOT! YOU SAVED MY LIFE”
said Chanty and hugged Filip out of excitement and gave him a cheek kiss.
“Anyway, guys, you are locals, correct?”
“MMMBBBHHHHHH”
, Andersson tried to answer, probably not even knowing the meaning behind it himself.
“Nah, not really”
, Carlén said.
“Just going here for this thing every year, and some motorsports reports every now and then…”
“But… do you know a good place to get something to eat now?”
“YES, YES, I DO, I DO”
, Andersson stuttered nervously, taking some sandwiches out of the Sanju, giving them to Chanty.
“TAKE THEM ALL, BON APPETIT!”
“You gave away my sandwiches?”
, Hansen asked him,
“You’re a special kind of stupid, aren’t you?”
Chanty ate all at once and didnt hear the last sentence…
“MMMH! MJAM!.. I meant, warm food or such, I… well… I mean, I am fat, and … well…”
A few bitter tears showed up.
“But thanks again!”
, said Chanty, giving Filip another firm hug.
“I guess you won’t get any answer worth listening to from that idiot there”
, Hansen told Chanty.
“He isn´t an idiot! He gave me food… and, do you have a better answer?”
Someone from the background yelled “EH SMURF! Tiltäppta Aträrer is your destination! At the exit left, and then like 30 kilometers… eh just use the maps app!”
“Yes I have a better answer. That he indeed is an idiot. Or do like someone just yelled, I am busy with getting this shitbox to work now.”
“You are as grumpy as my dad, really. You would get along well!”
Chanty then turned to Filip, gave him another hug
“But you are nice!”
With noticeable diesel clatter, Chanty moved to the exit, and heard Kanna and Catherine begging Angel to get food, but they could not find the keys for the van. As only Maria speaks a bit German, the communication with some smartphone translators was a bit…rough, but worked.
Chanty: “Hey, sweeties! I am driving to some town to get food anyway…”
Kanna: “OH!”
In exact the same moment, Kanna already pulled full of excitement at the door handle, and… ripped it off.
Catherine: “Aren´t Primus supposed to be well-built, especially the large ones? This is a quite massive part, I thought it wouldn´t break with some pull…”
Angel: “OH NO! Thomas will kill us!”
Hou: “Primus are massively overrated in my opinion. But I can fix that with ease. Nobody will notice. I guess that´s just material fatigue after… how old is that car?”
Chanty: “Eh… old, I guess?”
Angel: “Thats a 1980 to, maybe 84 or 85 Imperator… Chanty, do you have the papers? We can look that up.”
Chanty: “My father has them there in the sunvisor… Here.”
Angel: “Oh, a 1982 Imperator 270D. Thankfully, the load capacity is generous, according to the papers.”
Kanna: “Why did you check that?”
Angel was visibly embarassed how to … explain the problem.
Angel: “Well, it´s not that Catherine and you are light, and neither is Chanty… so… eh…”
Chantal: “I KNOW I AM FAT!”
Angel: “I knew I should have kept my mouth shut…”
Hou: “Ground clearance still seems fine…Hm, maybe these Primus are not as crappy as I thought. On the other hand, the first owners of these things were barely… soft both in mindset and appearance and the engineers must have thought of that.”
Loaded with Chanty, Kanna, Catherine and Angel, the underpowered luxury car visibly struggled to get into movement.
Catherine: “Seems more that the fuel-crisis-mess of an engine is the limiting factor here. Chanty, accellerate!”
Chanty: “What do you think am I doing here?”
With a black smoke cloud and the five cylinder screaming for help, the car finally made it to the road and disappeared, leaving behind some stench. This was also watched by the Speed Freaks.
Mikko: “Hah! No need to install a lower suspension, with that fat asses on board!”
Daniel: “Why do have fat chicks always such slim boyfriends? The german budget rocker and that one-eyed jap are both one third of their hogs.”
Mikko: “I guess these losers were rejected by all the good-looking girls, they have to take what´s left.”
With Daniel imitating pig noises, Mikko smiled.
“They´re propably getting food. With all that weight in the cars, that´s good for competition, because they are slowed down to zero. That old lemon could barely get to country road speed, ahahahahaha! The victory is mine!”
Samuel, being the most mature of the trio, also smiled a bit, but didn´t feel like fueling his teammates with more mean comments - he was in first place there to race and win, not to make fun of others.
Meanwhile, in the Imperator, Catherine felt at home.
Catherine: “Finally a car where I fit well. That´s definitely too large for Japan, otherwise I would buy this off Thomas´hands. Super comfortable seats.”
Kanna: “I can confrim. But where are we heading to?”
Chanty: "The local team told me to visit … eh, what does Maps say… ah, “tiltäppta aträrer”, its a 24/7 fast food restaurant.
Kannas eyes looked at Chanty with a love that only a dog could have for its owner.
Angel: “Good that we have Chantals taxi service. My foot still hurts a bit.”
Catherine: “Why have you stopped me from hitting that bastard?”
Chanty: “What bastard?”
Catherine: “Mikko. He stepped on Angels foot on purpose to make our best driver handicapped.”
Chanty: “WHAT? THAT ASSHOLE! I will punch him in his ugly face but I am afraid that this will make him less ugly then.”
Angel: “Ahahaha! I really like it when you have confidence and fighting spirit, but it´s propably better to not cause problems here.”
Kanna: “Didn´t you tell me that Chanty changed Ana for the better? Maybe that happens with Mikko, too?”
Catherine: “NO WAY! I don´t know Ana too well, but I think that all hope is lost with that Finnish brat.”
Angel: “Yes, I am afraid you are right, honey bunny. But please, Chanty, take care and don´t put yourself in danger. I am fine.”
Chanty: “I just can´t accept that you want him to get away with it.”
Catherine, in the passenger seat, leaned towards Chanty and gently tapped her shoulder.
Catherine: “I am grateful that you are such a good friend to Angel. When you punch that asshole, let me give you company, I don´t want you do that without backup.”
Chanty, Angel, Kanna and Catherine entered the restaurant with an impressive selection of XXXXXL food portions. To their surprise, Valentin sat on a table, eating a giant bowl of MacnCheese.
Chantal: “VALENTIN?”
Valentin somewhat hastily looked around as someone had called out his name. Finding the one who did the shouting was not hard while looking for the most unique person in the empty restaurant. He waves at the group entering before returning to his food for the time being.
Chanty took a seat, while the others, not too familiar with Valentin, were a bit hesitating to take any action, and the chair made a weird noise, and Chanty made a very sad face.
Chanty: “Maybe I should not eat anything, I am too fat already…”
Vito, Valentins integrated AI, started translating automatically. Chantal explained hastily when the Y.E.A.R. team members made an astonished face.
Chanty: “He has a translator… that´s super cool!”
Catherine: “Oh how useful! And it´s not your fault, you are perfect the way you are. You could expect from an
XXL-Restaurant that they have chairs fitting their ususal customers…”
Angel: “Maybe it´s a bit worn down from them already.”
Kanna: "Not my fault, I am here for the first time!
Chanty: “How are your maccaroni? I really can´t decide what to eat… IT ALL SOUNDS SO DELICIOUS, FUUUUUUUUCK!”
The server and the 3 other guests now stared at Chanty who raised a voice a bit too much.
Chanty: “ooops… sorry… I … well, I am hungry… and… when I am hungry, I am a bit weird…”
Random guest in swedish: “YOU ARE NOT JUST WEIRD WHEN HUNGRY WITH THAT HAIR COLOR!”
Chanty: “Valentin, can you translate?”
Vito does the honors before Valentin has a chance to counter it, repeating the guest’s comment in German.
Valentin, meanwhile, tries to defuse:
[to that guest, in Swedish] “Would appreciate you minding your own business, thank you.”
[to himself] “Vito, not yet.”
[to Chanty, in English] “I get the excitement, though please try and keep somewhat quiet to not disturb others here.”
[again himself] “Now.”
Vito repeated both comments in German, clarifying who each of them were directed at. The enquiry regarding how good the Maccaroni was is ignored in favor of trying to keep peace within the establishment.
The group ordered their food, and Kanna and Chanty were visibly nervous until it finally arrived. Everything went well, until Chanty thought… “Hmm, Kannas chicken looks really nice, I might try a bit…” Chanty took the fork and stole a bit of it, and Kanna immediately hit Chanty full force with her ellbow, who crashed on the ground together with her chair.
Chantal: “AAAAH! What was that?”
Kanna: "OH NO! CHANTY! I AM SO SORRY! IT WAS A REFLEX! I AM A BIT WEIRD WITH FOOD, IT WAS NOT MY INTENTION! CHAAAANTY, SAY SOMETHING!
Chantal: “It… hurts a bit… but not too much. I am fine.”
Kanna: “I AM REALLY SORRY AGAIN… Here, have the rest of my plate as apology. It really was a reflex because I am protective over my food.”
Catherine: “What rest? You eat like a vaccumn cleaner.”
Angel: “I do not think that you are in the position to say this, honey bunny.”
Valentin, who absolutely hates unwanted attention, somewhat embarrassed himself, the only noticeable thing that came out of him during this commotion is him asking whether Chantal was okay.
The Y.E.A.R trio helped Chanty up and ordered Chanty the same meal that Kanna got before, while Kanna ordered herself what Chanty had before, a giant Pizza Tonno.
Kanna: “Yor lip is a bit bleeding”
Chanty: "Oh, don´t worry, you were really gentle compared to Marie.
Angel: “Oh no, don´t remind me of that!”
Suddenly Chantys phone rang.
Chanty: “Eh… HOW? Ah. Yes, I bring that. WAITER, SORRY TO BOTHER YOU BUT ITS IMPORTANT!”
Catherine: “What happened?”
Chanty: “That was Jan. Some Hooligan came over, attrated by the food smell, and raided their breakfast. Now Jan and dad want to bring me something for them…”
Kanna: “I dont mind ordering something additional too, for the way back, I mean, we drive like 20 minutes or so, that´s enough for another Pizza.”
Chorus: “KANNAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
Valentin was making a relieved sigh when the weird quartet was about to leave, finally minding his own business in peace again.
Kanna: “Oh, Chanty, these fries look delicious…”
Chorus: “KANNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
Kanna: “But it´s my birthday!”
Chantal: “Eeeeh… and one large fries extra…”
Cashier: “Are you paying card or cash?”
Chantal: “Kidney…”
4 Likes
OK, I have an announcement to make…
The results will unfortunately be delayed even more.
The reason? I forgot the entry from @tailgate_sniffer . The reason is that it was posted in this thread and not in a DM, probably Tailgate sniffer didn’t have the DM rights.
And that’s it. I realize that you can’t post a challenge this big and have people posting car files wherever it fits for them.
Next year it will be Discord, DM or nothing. No DM rights here? Well, participate in some games on the forums, comment on some posts in sharing…it really isn’t that hard to get them.
I am sorry if I sound like an ass now, but hosting is in many ways a struggle, and I really don’t want this to happen again. No matter how special YOU think your entry are and that I should have remembered it, among 20-ish cars…it simply won’t happen.
The fault this time is only mine. If I sound salty, I am only explaining why it is like it is…
EDIT: Turns out we’re extremely lucky, there were no crashes for the Phoenix, meaning that implementing it afterwards was a quick job.
2 Likes
PART 1: NOON - 4 PM
Hello everyone, and welcome to the 2024 edition of Trafikjournalen’s 24 h of clunkers!
At the start ,it seemed to not be the brightest idea by Clara Danver in the Astral to dump the clutch, since the heavy amounts of wheelspin at the start did cost her a lot of time, with the Astral suddenly being one of the last cars off the starting line. Even the Mishuto does a somewhat slow start, as well as the Flint, but not as bad as the Astral. The Cutter on the other hand barely makes it from the finish line until it goes straight into the guardrail with a loud bang. Someone that seems to be hot headed now is Jeremias Klackers in the Mara that does some very nice laps. More careful is Jake Storm in the Bricksley, Cthulhu James in the DAW and Mary Marcel in the Brunelle, drivers that seems to be taking it easy at the moment.
The WAZ is now almost taking one of the corners tail first, but Ivan Kovalev manages to save the situation. In an attempt to avoid the skidding WAZ, Jake Storm in the Bricksley gets a tail spin that ends up in some guardrail bouncing. To avoid getting into the mess, Akseli Vanhala in the Sedlak has to brake rather hard. Cthulhu James in the DAW does some attempt to pass the Sedlak but that ends up bouncing against the guardrail instead. The Phoenix has to brake to avoid the bouncing DAW.
The Sedlak now understeers into a corner, just to suddenly switch to oversteering again, and Akseli Vanhala gets his hands full. That also causes the DAW to have to slow down. Jeff Stone in the Cutter does an attempt to pass the DAW and the Sedlak, but that ends up in a spinout. The Phoenix avoids getting into trouble there, barely.
The Astral now rams the Sedlak from behind, causing it to spin out, it’s a rather nasty bang but it seems like the cars aren’t more damaged than being able to keep driving after all. The Torrento barely escapes to getting involved in that tangle. The Brunelle brakes hard for the same reason, but it seems like it is not pulling straight, and Mary Marcel gets her hands full trying to sort that out. Edward in the VerBanka spots the chaos in time and slows down to pass through the mess carefully. It is said that Jan Kellermann in the Globus is not the most experienced driver, which might explain the hard time he has with wrestling the boat around the track at the moment. That seems to slow down the Phoenix where the driver probably wants to pass, but can’t find the space for it. It also seems to be slightly annoying for the driver of the Cutter, that tries to pass but has a hard time to keeping the car under control during that.
The Astral does a wide drift through a corner, almost getting the Vortex into a tangle. That also slows down the Torrento. The Cago is less lucky entering the corner, and has to munch some guardrail, which means that the Phoenix has to brake. After it comes the Ishii where the driver seems to overestimate its capacity, leading to a wide skid but still kept under control.
Something we notice is that the Mara is now, with Jens Mai driving, having a slightly slower pace around the track. The Flint now hits the ARVA, sending it spinning, and both cars ends up looking rather sad, but can still continue the race. The Cutter has to swerve to avoid the spinning ARVA, as well as the Torrento. The track being a bit cluttered around there means that the WAZ has to slow down a bit. Mary Marcel enters a corner a bit too fast with the Brunelle, spinning around but managing to get the car back into control.
The somewhat tricky handling of the Sedlak starts to show, the unpredictable switching between understeering and oversteering once again gives Akseli Vanhala some trouble. The ARVA then gives the Torrento a little shunt, though nothing that seems to be too serious. The Mara and Cutter passes them with spinning wheels, making them lose some time. It also seems like it takes some time for V2 to get the wheelspin under control when taking away with the Torrento again. The Bricksley scrapes the guardrail slightly. Less “slightly” so for the Brunelle that hits it with a loud thud, and bounces back into the track. The next car to brush it is the Qua, sending some cosmetic parts flying, but nothing worse than that.
The Globus then gives the Astral a little tap, and surprisingly enough the cosmetical damage seems worse on the Globus than on the lighter Astral, maybe due to the angle of the hit, but both cars can continue driving. Sure, we don’t know what happened under the surface of the Astral… Akseli Vanhala tries to out-accelerate the Astral that’s being sent towards the Sedlak, he manages to do it, barely, with the car skidding around on the track. It seems like Clara Danver was a bit shaken because of the situation, and takes it easy on the track for a while. Maybe a bit TOO easy, Erik Carlén thinks, trying to pass the Astral, with his ARVA in a very wide skid. The Torrento has been in for refuelling, leaving the pits like a maniac with spinning wheels, almost hitting the Cutter on its way out. After it comes the Bricksley, that also has been in for refuelling, and despite being a bit more careful, after barely missing the Ishii, it hits the Qua on its way out. A quite heavy hit, but nothing that seems to have affected the cars too much. They can keep driving after a while.
We are now four hours into the race, and the standings are as following:
- Team off the books - Flint - Lap # 267 @oldmanbuick
- The rot - Ishii - Lap # 264 @Chaedder
- Team Vortex - Vortex - Lap # 258 @George
- A wing and a prayer - Astral - Lap # 257 @Rambow
- Team PhirmEggPlant - Mishuto - Lap # 257 @PhirmEggplant
- The Interceptors - Mara - Lap # 256 @AndiD
- The Rhinos - Globus - Lap #255 @Happyhungryhippo
- Seinäjoki speed freaks - Sedlak - Lap #253 @Nicxv
- Три Полоски Racing Team - WAZ - Lap #252 @0rangeghost
- Team Bowling - DAW - Lap #249 @Djadania
- Team Chitco - VerBanka - Lap #244 @MrdjaNikolen
- Team Marian’s Dream - Phoenix - Lap #240 @Tailgate_sniffer
- Team Vet Inte - Cago - Lap #236 @06DPA
- HeltR SkeltR & Marcel - Brunelle - Lap #232 @Dildoplocus
- The Highway Hooligans - Bricksley - Lap #231 @Madrias
- Team Trafikjournalen - ARVA - Lap #231 @Knugcab
- Bugs in the Code - Torrento - Lap #230 @Fayeding_spray & @Leone
- Team Left for dead - Cutter - Lap # 228 @stm316
- Y.E.A.R. - Qua - Lap #224 @Angelustyle
So. New for this year: If you have any special ideas for the strategy of your team, something you want them to do for the next four hours, something like that, you have until tuesday 5 PM CEST to DM me about that. I might have that in mind, but I can’t promise that you will get your will through. I was just thinking, being a bit more able to do active choices with the RPing could make it a bit more fun. And yes, I might even take stuff you RP about in this thread into consideration, so think about what you write… 
And yes. I will implement my own pre-race RP at some point too. I just felt that getting the results for the first four hours should have priority now. Sorry.
10 Likes
Team Vet Inte - Race Part 1
“Looks fine to me.” The Cago was on a lift with Martin checking for any suspension damage after the car hit a barrier. “Well, something still feels off” said Uncle from the now only seat in the car. “I don’t know, I think I can handle it. I’ll stay out until it gets worse. Or until I can’t anymore. This thing is exhausting.”
The car was dropped back on the ground, and Andreas brought a few fuel cans. “Do you think you can finish the rest of your stint without stopping?” asked Rasmus, while Andreas struggled to take the fuel cap off. “I will try.” asnwered Uncle, while Jonathan aggressively took the refueling job away from Andreas to do it himself, despite being told to rest. The car left the pit shortly after.
3 Likes
i think some collage of car photos and their names and drivers would be nice to have, so people could visualize what’s happening and who is who a little better. it’s a bit hard to find what car is what, especially when there is 100 messages full of text and pictures.
3 Likes
Point taken, may implement that for next round.
4 Likes
4 hours into the race, and a provisional 3rd place. A truely wonderful race it has been for the Turbo Terrors in the Vortex. The strategy for now: try to close the gap to the leaders and if that isn’t possible, well we’ll block everyone behind. And if it is possible to put 2 drivers at the same time, put Frederickson in the car toghether with Johansson together in it (Quick driver + Co-Driver).
1 Like
Captain slow< 
1 Like