Part 11: The final party
including YEAR by @Angelustyle, Speed Freaks by @nicxv, Highway Hooligans by @Madrias, Chitko by @MrdjaNikolen, TOTB by @oldmanbuick and HRSR&M by @Dildoplocus, mentioning Trafikjournalen by @Knugcab
Valentin heads over to where a “party” of sorts was unfolding, initially watching the situation unfold as-is. This didn´t happen unnoticed, thanks to his enormous physical presence, and Thomas, who was about to get drunk, waved him.
“AAAH! HELLO MR. TRANSPORTER! We´ve kept the car in one piece, so that it can be easily loaded… as far as its size permits.”
Valentin is not exactly amused. A fact somewhat hidden by his resting-worried-face.
[to himself] “This is why I don’t drink…”
[to Thomas] “Your car needs to go onto the trailer first because it has to travel further.”
“Oh, so I better step down of it, hm? No problem.”
Thomas slides down over the rear window and the trunk and looks for the keys, until he notices that they are still inside.
“Not that I have much of a choice, anyway. Might as well get going.”
Thomas entered the car and made a quite ambitioned turn, then approached the trailer with a speed that was a bit too optimistic. Since the engine was loud as fuck, Thomas was unable to hear Valentins warnings, and when he noticed, it was almost too late - one of the front wheels went past the edge of the bed, and was now hanging in the air. Thankfully, the car didn´t fall off or crash into the cabin of Valentins truck.
“Ehehe, eh, good that it´s a rear wheel drive car, I fix that in a second.”
Thomas tried to go reverse with full throttle, but except from a bit of smoke and wheelspin (and the bed painting being scraped off from all the stone chips in the tire profile), not much happened. He noticed that by just going reverse, he won´t save anything but only damage the towtruck. Frustrated, he exits the vehicle, while Valentin, visibly annoyed, tried to figure out how to correct the issue.
“I hope you have really good work gloves or can organize some.”
“Sure, but maybe Not…your size. Biggest I have is size 11 for me.”
“I can try and prop up that corner. Though I refuse to tear up my palms in doing so. Hence, gloves or something else to cover sharp edges, I suppose.”
Without even trying them on, Valentin can tell that the gloves are “a bit” too small for him.
“I cannot say that I expected different. These gloves are not exactly my size. The towels hopefully are enough.”
Taking them, he heads to the aloft corner of the car, puzzling around a bit to see where and how Val could try and prop it up…The front fender is deemed the best solution as of right now.
“Please get in and carefully try to reverse onto the trailer…”
This time, Thomas pays a bit more attention, and the car slowly moved backwards, and Thomas could correct the issue easily.
“Well done, Valentin. Hm, on the track the car felt a bit smaller than it acutally is. Good that I hired someone who knows what he is doing. So, I wish you a stress-free drive, since you are driving to… was that Göteborg? first, we should arrive at more or less the same time in Leipzig.”
“Other team needs their car dropped off first, yes.”
Valentin holds up the set of borrowed towels toward Thomas.
“Thanks… oh, there comes Chantal. Either you want her famous hugs and dramatic good-byes… or you better hide now really fast.”
“You want me to hide?”
“Good point… so, either run before she spots you… or accept your fate, haha.”
“See you around, I suppose…”
Valentin heads off in search for the Hooligans, that were also at Thomas after-show-party, though makes little of an attempt at doing so quickly.
Chantal arrived, in company of the YEAR team, at the party that was, now that Thomas got the Globus loaded, resuming.
“HELLO ALL!”
“That´s supposed to be hello everyone, Chantal.”
, corrected Thomas.
“I DON´T CARE. Everyone knows what I mean. Where are the Trafikjournalens, by the way?”
, was the answer, not without some annoyed tone to it, and she grabbed a bottle of booze and took a large gulp.
Thomas: “Those damn boring people didn´t want to come over. Boring swedes, really. They are almost all just like Valentin. YAAAWN.”
Hans: “Girl, you also need a driver nickname like we had in the 80s. How about Chaotic Chanty?”
Chantal: “Seems legit.”
Hans: “You sure you don´t regret drinking booze like that?”
Chantal: “I ruined the podium for us, I need that in order to not hate myself even more than already now.”
Hans: “You have no reason for that, really.”
Angel: “HEY, GUYS!”
Chantal: “mmmmh. You attatched something to me down there, or what?”
Angel: “Eh, yes… I mean no, so, anyway, listen. Chanty, you were voted the driver of the day on the facebook page of the track, most likely for the good show you made out there. Second is Hans for a clean win and almost flawless driving, Thomas is fifth, people liked his defense moves against Mikko a lot.”
Hans: “That was already his special ability in Group A days… you just could not overtake him, but with his impatience, he would spin out anyway sooner or later so that you could pass without any effort.”
Chantal: “Wait a minute… I won something?”
Angel: “Nothing material, but… yes, you´re famous now. If I get your facebook I can link you.”
Thomas: “DONT YOU DARE! SHE HAS ENOUGH PEOPLE USING HER TO WAN…”
Chantal: “SSSSSH!! I dont have that old man social network. Since these competitions are run by old men they propably dont have Tiktok in return. DAMN! By the way, have you seen Alexandra and Jani?”
Angel: “They brought Maria some water, and then ate lunch…”
Chantal: “I`ll get them here.”
As said, she walked over to the speed freaks, seeing Mikko packing his stuff with his “friends”.
Chantal: “Oh fuck, I totally forgot about that bastard. I hope he doesnt see…”
Mikko: “THERE YOU ARE, FATTY!”
Daniel: “And no daddy around, she is more courageous than I thought to come here alone.”
Mikko: “Even better. If you are only half as dumb as you look, you might have forgotten that you ruined MY RACE by being too dumb to use your brakes, and I will not let you get away with it.”
Mikko grabbed the tire iron again, and Chanty froze in fear.
Daniel: “Take that down, that´s not neccecary.”
Mikko: “Punching that michelin mascot with bare hands only will maybe not have any learning effect.”
Daniel: “Come on, I hate that ugly fat monster as much as you, but you´re man enough not to use a tire iron against ladies.”
Mikko: “Yeah, maybe you are right. What´s up, fatty? No screaming for help? Is daddy too drunk again? I heard from some pit chatter that he´s quite a drunkard, and his health is shit… maybe you want to dye your hair black for the funeral?”
Chantal was still frozen, but now silent tears ran down her cheeks.
Chantal: “I…i.i might be fat… but that can not be said about the most important part of you…”
Mikko: “Oooh? You are crying? Are you sad? I would make a party if that geezer finally dies. But I can give you a REAL reason to cry!”
Mikko punched Chantal with a lot of force in the stomach, and she fell to the ground, and Mikko stopped her from getting up with hard kicks.
Daniel: “HEY! Not when your opponent is still on the ground, that´s really over the top. You have taught her the lesson and beaten the shit out of her, that walrus doesn´t even move anymore.”
Mikko: “Let´s hope it stops breathing, too. Come on, how can that even hurt? That´s so much fat there, that biological accident is better armored than a knight.”
Chantal carefully got up, feeling quite some pain absolutely everywhere but not being severely injured, and Mikko started a next attempt to hit her directly in the face, but then, Chantal dodged and hit Mikko back, who did not think of any possible self-defense and… got knocked out, because Chantal let out her frustration and anger all at once, including that from the many times being beaten up at school. Daniel jumped into the car and drove off, leaving Mikko behind, whose source of food might be liquid in the near future, if the cracking noise did not just come from Chantals hand.
Chantal: “See? I am not surprised you got no friends, bastard.”
She spit on him, but being unconscious, he really did not notice.
Catherine: “CHANTY! HERE YOU ARE! Oh… is that…”
Chantal: “Yes, thats the worst thing that was ever made in Finland, yes.”
Catherine: “You knocked him out?”
Chantal, now overwhelmed by realizing what happened:
“BUT HE PUNCHED ME FIRST! REALLY! I DID NOT START!”
Catherine gently hugged Chantal before she would cry.
Chantal: “AAAH! SHIT!”
Catherine: “Oh, are you injured?”
Chantal: “That punch was hard for me, too… damn…”
Catherine: “Fuck, your hand is red and swollen already now. That´s not good, we should get that checked.”
Chantal: “Yes, please get me away from here before I start crying and ruin the cool impression I left…”
An hour later, Thomas was in an uncomfortable situation.
Trevor: "Have you calmed down finally? Can I make the ties loose now?
Scott: “If you ask me, you should not have tied him in first place. I could get him free in a second with my claws.”
Mary: “Wrong. Mikko might have deserved it, but Thomas wanted to piss on somebody being unconscious, that´s not the manners an educated man should show.”
Hans: “But he had valid reasons to do so. Still, I would…”
Thomas: “Call your lawyer, right? Damn, what a softie you have become.”
Alexandra: “ENOUGH! Could you please stop arguing? I have already taken pics of Mikko in the mud in underwear next to our empty booze bottles and mailed them to the Finnish boulevard press before calling the ambulance. Let´s see what daddy says to that. Catherine and Chanty are coming back from the first aid tent, so behave now. Trevor, make him loose.”
Thomas: “Chantal, can you FOR ONCE NOT GET INJURED? Your mother will kill me if I bring you back like this again and we do not have any aliens doing some miraculous healing on you.”
Chantal: “I know, but… he seemed so weak-brained, I didn´t expect his head to be harder than jellyfish.”
Cody: “Did you exchange phone numbers with the aliens? I mean, you could need their cheat code quite often, sweetie.”
Thomas: “None of your business. And only Jan and me are allowed to call her sweetie.”
Chantal: “Wrong! YEAR, Alexandra, Jani, Mary… I can decide for myself who I want to allow that. You are my father, not my bodyguard.”
Thomas: “I need something strong now… ah, here it is, my famous selfmade chili wodka. I made this bottle 8 years ago, so it will be REALLY spicy. The winner has the privilege to try it first.”
Hans: “BAAH! Is that the rocket fuel your daughter has filled up?”
Kanna: “HELP! FIRE! FIRE!”
Robert: “This should be illegal.”
Jan: “It is, because Thomas hasn´t declared it at the border.”
Mary: “Even better then.”
Trevor: “Fucking great stuff. I could use it to remove the paint from our car.”
Alexandra: “Ok, now I think your dad is cool. Great stuff.”
Chantal: “MOOOOREEEE!”
Jan: “Are you su… nevermind, you are an adult.”
Chantal: “You too, but you really need to tell your parents.”
Chorus: “oooooooh…”
Chantal: “At least mine accept the way I look.”
Angel: “Would you mind… not breaking off an argument?”
Hou: “How did you learn to drive with a manual, Chanty? Was it hard?”
Jan: “As far as I know, she made her license at the… 9th exam attempt.”
Hou: “What? But… you don´t drive bad at all.”
Chantal: “It´s more like… I am shit at handling stress, and exam situations are impossible for me. I think I failed 5 with mental breakdowns, one time I crashed, another time I… didn´t even show up because I could not get out of bed, and… I think one was also failed due to me speeding… a bit.”
Thomas: “A BIT?”
Alexandra: “But, how did you pass then?”
Jan: “They cheated.”
Thomas: “No, I didn´t.”
Chantal: “Nobody wants to know that in detail, Jan!”
Cody: “Wrong. We all do.”
Jan: “So, an exam takes one hour, and it has to be in the city and outside of it. After 10 minutes, the instructor told her to drive out to the country roads… and just a few meters after the exit… Thomas took such a fucking large Grand Cruiser and simulated a breakdown, leading to the road being blocked. And since it was rush hour, there was no way Chantal could be ordered to turn around. They sat there in the car for the rest of the time with Chantal… just having to breathe.”
Thomas: “I didn´t fake the breakdown.”
Trevor: “I know it´s a Globus so you usually don´t have to, but I also know you so I guess you did fake it, and it´s a genius move, the longer I think about it.”
Jan: “Thomas sabotaged the car of course to make it look real in case the police shows up, and then failed to fix it again and blocked the road for six hours until he got that thing running again.”
Hans: “That sounds very much like him, yes. But he was definitely father of the year there.”
Mary: (to Robert) “You got some serious competition, I think you need to level up in the dad game. Look, I found very nice shoes here online…”
Robert: “I understand what you mean. How much?”
Thomas: “Weird how daughters seem to be all the same in some things.”
Alexandra: “Not me. Well, I was MAYBE a bit more girly in the past, just like you, Chanty. But just a bit.”
Chantal: “Eh, I… eh…”
Alexandra: “Oh that wasn´t an attack or such. Being a part-time-princess really suits you.”
Another hour later, it has already found it´s peak: Thomas was wasted, Chanty disappeared into the forest for … an urgent problem and was too drunk to open the camping trailer door, then sat on a rock and … started seeing food for a second time, and… Jan was ironically the one still being the last rhino standing.
Jan: "Can someone tell Pi that the electric guitar isn´t plugged in?
Andrea: “Better not, she has some talents but that is not one of them.”
Jan: “So, you play youtube videos on the loudspeaker to make her think it actually works?”
Andrea: “Yes. I mean, she is that drunk, it´s not suspicious.”
Angel: “Thomas isn´t better, first he tells us what a great party he does, and now he is asleep. Wait, where is Kanna?”
Catherine: “She had to throw up and followed Chantal into the forest.”
Angel: “Oh no, how are we supposed to move them back? It´s not that they are… light.”
from the distance: “HYYYUUUUARRRRGGGHHH”
Jan: “That´s Chanty for sure. Her voice is deeper than Kannas.”
Angel: “I see.”
Jan: “Good that you just see and don´t smell. Crap.”
Thomas: “Aaahh, that was good, finally a brief rest. So, let´s continue, I have prepared something. Chantal loves Baileys so… I prepared something.”
Hans: “I am by now scared of what you do even without touching tools.”
Thomas: “Let´s say we have Baileys at home. I made them in GDR the following way: Milk, red wine, a beer, sugar, pepper, and… an egg.”
Maria: “BEURKKKK!”
Thomas: “HEY! Did you just vomit on my Primus??”
Cody: “I think that is an appropriate reaction to both the car and the beverage.”
Thomas: “In GDR we didn´t always have everything, we had to be inventive. And I found out that this reciepe tastes just like Baileys.”
gluck gluck gluck gluck
Kanna: Oh, not that baaaaad… mmmmmhhhh…mooooreee…
Angel: KANNA! YOU ARE ALREADY DRUNK. YOU CANT JUST DRINK A WHOLE BOTTLE NOW!..
Ryoga: At least it was not Maria with her lactose intolerance.
Catherine: Kanna, where the fuck have you left Chantal? She is helpless there in the forest.
After doing the “inside out”, Chanty had a brief momen of orientation, and called her mother with facetime.
“MAMAAAAAAAAAA!!! I MISS YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!”
“Wait, are you drunk?”
“No… a bit… maybe…”
“For fucks sake, your face is full of bruises, your hand seems broken and you are as drunk as a sailor after land vacation!”
“You…are exaggerating a bit…”
“I did not even BEGIN TO BECOME PISSED! GET ME THOMAS! NOW!”
“Wait… a bad signal… krrrrck…eeh… I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!”
