These one-liners 
I should hire you to write sick burns on demand
4 Likes
Quite a surprising round, this one. The cars are being ranked on lap time, but does it mean that the fastest car on the downhill route will win?
Edit: at least the vehicle I submitted is not in the bottom half of the lap time leaderboard. Iâm still anxious about where it will end up, thoughâŚ
HOL answered this above.
7 Likes
Iâm actually âhighâ up. What the hell is wrong.
I would find it weird if HOL only looking for power , than all those hot hatch would be over 500hp
Anyway , power is not everything in a car so if anyone make a challenge base on power is plain stupid.
Fortunately this was already clarified.
Just in case anybody missed it: HOL is currently reading an issue of Mountain Pass, and it so happens the cars there are ranked on time. But the comments and what he will pick are based on his impressions and needs as stated in the brief, after all.
Also even these reviews donât purely rate the car on power, but how usable it is, what kind of package the car is, and how much value for money it is. I saw reviews of cars with 120bhp lavish with praise and one with 165hp that got slammed even though the 165hp car was much faster.
That said I was initially quite pessimistic about my performance on the pass, but turns out my carâs probably going to be pretty fast after all, so Iâll take it!
Hey
So like
You labeled my entry âKRS: Kimura Hanaâ
It should be Kimura Hana KRS: titleguy1
Sorry about that
1 Like
Fable: @DracoAutomations: 5:00.35
18 of 36
Coming in at No. 18 is another micro-brand (nope, it isnât a Bogliq, we checked!) and I was rather impressed. Despite being AWD the chassis was set up to be neutral which helped mask the push from all the wheels driven. A four seater, the Fable makes 147Kw from a 2.3 four and itâs packing a lovely premium grade interior to boot. Itâs a little thirsty at 10.2L per 100Km but itâs not bad, considering the amount of friction this thing generates!
However, this car is destined to be a fable on our streets, which is kinda a shame, as it costs $18,200 and for that money there are a lot better cars for the money.
Verdict: A worthy car let down by high purchase costs. Worth the risk if youâre rich and daring!
JHW Picosport: @JohnWaldock: 5:00.34
17 of 36
Man, I love Haruna for throwing me curveballs and the JHW Picosport is just such an example. It beats the Fable by one hundredth of a second despite having almost half the power and half the driven wheels and itâs NA to boot!
The Picosport is small, seats 4 (just barely), and is slightly expensive for itâs size at $14,950. But man is it a hoot to drive! The chassis is wieldy without being snappy and the light-weight interior has what you need, where you need it. Although, somewhat bizarrely, the stereo has an equaliser, making it a fiddly, heavy, extravagence in a street-racer! Never before has 81Kw ever felt like so much fun!
Downsides are no room for passengers and if you do take any, your performance will suffer. But, other than itâs bland design language, thatâs about all thatâs wrong with this lâil number.
Verdict: Lots of fun for the introverts among us.
Renolt 5: @ramthecowy: 5:00.21
16 of 36
Looking like a refugee from the golden era of hot hatches, the Renolt 5 is another micro brand from Honest Joe. Considering the amount of misses heâs provided me lately I wasnât too sure what to think about this diminutive hatch.
Well the 5 is quick, as any car at this point in the list can claim, but this car does what it does totally differently to everything else here! Mid engined, AWD, 3 cylinder, sub 800cc engine; this car was an enigma. But, when the 5 hit the road, it all came together in one glorious symphony of sound, fury and bravado and blew everyone away who drove it!
There are downsides though. The M-AWD configuration makes for a razor sharp handling profile and there isnât much room for four adults either. The stereo looks like it was the cheapest one at the parts store and the tyres will cost a bit to replace. The single largest surprise is the sales price of $13,000; definitely good value, but not a well supported brandâŚ
Verdict: An exotic in a plain paper package.
Loe Mathas Rallye: @Fayeding_Spray: 4:57.18
15 of 36
Another contender for âMost 80âs lookingâ is the Loe Mathas Rallye. Packing some serious voodoo to get to this point, the Rallye packs a 2L V six which produces 117Kw. How does this wedge go so fast? Grip. Grip and a finely honed chassis combine to use all of the available power and thus the first sub five minute run of the day.
There are downsides, unfortunately, as the price is high for what you get at $16,380 and the V6 loves a drink at 12L per 100Km. So, all in all, the Rallye goes a bit faster but uses more resources to do it. Iâm not a fan of the looks but thereâs plenty of interior space and youâll find it easy to remember where you parked!
Verdict: A good car; drive one and if you like it, buy it - we wonât argue with you.
Znopresk Zap Super S: @NormanVauxhall: 4:54.56
14 of 36
Next we have a quality entry from the Znopresk stable. The Zap has been about for a while and has been begging for a go fast variant since itâs inception. Well the folks over at Znopresk have finally delivered and here is the product of their labours⌠The Zap Super S.
Priced at $14,560 means that the Super S is good value and the driving dynamics back that up. The Zap has a wieldy chassis egging the driver on, a willing engine supplying oodles of power and a decent interior which is good for both driver and any passengers. Fuel economy isnât bad at 9.1L per 100Km and the Super S also looks the partâŚ
There are no significant downsides to report other than the Zap is an ageing platform, the engine lacks sparkle and the next generation may knock this one into a cocked hat!
Verdict: Be smart, buy a Super S and revel in the quality for years to come.
Erin Merna X: @DeusExMackia: 4:53.41
13 of 36
Another strong brand with an excellent product line-up is Erin, with the Merna being no exception. Taut, crisp styling clothes a neutral, balanced, chassis packing a 131Kw weapon of an engine, although itâs a shame it drinks 95RON. The X is a quintessential hot hatch with room for four, scalding performance and brilliant dynamics.
At $15,990 the Merna X represents good value in the city, less so if youâre regional/rural and has no major flaws so it comes down to making sure your local Erin dealer has one in stock in your colour!
Verdict: Buying a Merna X is not a mistake, buying a Prototype X most definitely is!
11 Likes
So⌠Weâre getting to the pointy end and finally seeing cars capable of sub-5-minute runs on the downhill course. I am, quite frankly, proud of having built such a car, but I donât think it will be the absolute fastest of the bunchâŚ
Btw HOL fantastic job pumping these out, keep em coming!
7 Likes
My minivan wasnât dead last, I have that to be grateful for.
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more like âhondaâ
Wait what?!? My lawn mower is top 12?!? 
cheerfull to the top
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If you built a lawnmower it would still lap the Nur a full minute faster than a Golf GTI
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its not about how good the car is. its about time
Komodo Strava: @koolkei: 4:53.23
12 of 36
Maesima must be fuming, looks like Komodo got the clean end of the stick in this deal! The Strava, by virtue of enhanced aero, 131Kw, balanced chassis tuning and quality tyres has managed to reach nearly the top ten!
Costing only $13,130, the Strava would be an out-n-out bargain except for one fundamental flaw; itâs only a two seater. I cannot stress this enough, hot hatches have 4 seats, hairdresserâs cars have 2 seats!!! But one thing is very clear; if you want one of these cars, buy the Komodo version!
Verdict: The perfect hot hatch for your hairdresser friend!
Kramer K1 S: @abg7: 4:52.36
11 of 36
Sitting just outside the top ten is the Kramer K1 S. Priced at $16,250, the Kramer manages to be both an excellent hot hatch, packing 129Kw from 1.8L, and a decent commuter with a negligible thirst (8.15l/100Km of 91RON), neutral chassis dynamics and lots of safety gear. Itâs a shame then that youâd lose it in the carpark at the supermarket.
Iâve heard of hiding your light under a bushel but the Kramer takes it to ridiculous extremes, plus a dark shade of blue just makes the shape all the more forgettable. This car is begging for, and worthy of, a bodykit, flares and some vents, damnit!!! If you need inspiration, just look at Bogliqâs racing cars, halve the vents, shrink the wings and youâll have enough styling cues for a brace of performance Kramers!
Verdict: Youâll drive the K1 S just so you donât fall asleep looking at it!
Armada Fore Superlite: @strop: 4:51.68
10 of 36
Here we are at the top ten, here there be dragons etc. Number 10 is occupied by the Armada Fore Superlite, which is, as far as we can tell, a homologation version of a racecar for a race series no-oneâs started yet! This car has been stripped down to itâs bones and had only the bare minimum replaced to ensure that the car is both legal and superlight.
What does that mean for the driver? A basic interior means thin seats, no console, bare metal where trims once where and 4 lightweight pads in the rear instead of a full bench base and upright. Oh boy is it loud in here, luckily then the lads at Armada didnât waste time with anything but the basic stereo then!
The engine isnât spared either with 101Kw being produced from a 1.4L four cylinder and suspension that is tuned to go everywhere, FAST! The Fore also only uses 6.6L per 100Km and it uses 91RON so the owner of a Superlight doesnât need a heavy wallet! How much does one cost? $12,480 and you can have one of these bad boys for your ownâŚ
This thing is insane, every nerve is alive with information and every drive is an intensity of emotion not seen since the last time Leonardo DeCaprio died on-screen! You get out of this car exhausted, yet you want to go again because itâs that good!
Bad points? Looks kinda bland and youâll want to go on a diet to live up to your cars expectations. Saminda would be wise to build a car like this, just to inject some raw joy back into their range!
Verdict: 100% refined driving pleasure, use responsibly!
RW Designs HSi4: @Speedemon: 4:51.66
9 of 36
RW Designs comes in at No. 9 with their HSi4. I hate this car, not because itâs bad, but because itâs a turbo car. A similar approach as what was taken at Armada has resulted in a very similar overall result. The HSi4 is extremely well setup and it too has been stripped for lightness (although not to the same extent as the Fore) yet the turbo engine robs the HSi4 of the extreme edge the Foreâs powerplant provided and dulls the driving experience. At $14,690 you could buy the Fore and a year of Chiropractor visitsâŚ
Truth is, Iâm mad because all the HSi4 owner needs to do is up the boost and theyâll go faster. The Fore wonât without a major re-work of itâs engine. The HSi4 is a great car for speed freaks and a not-so-good one for commuters and will make any enthusiast proud; once somethingâs done about those looks, hahaha!
Verdict: Buy a HSi4 and get a free trip to the USA to pre-purchase the new Fisker KarmaâŚ
Smooth Tornado S: @AirJordan: 4:51.44
8 of 36
Placing at 8th on the list is the Smooth Tornado S. Whoâd have thought a 1.2L Turbo four crossover with 88Kw would beat so many hot hatches down the mountain? Well, it did and itâs a testament to the engineers over at Smooth that the Tornado lives up to itâs name.
The interior of the Tornado is a great place to be, all sporty and stylish, although the stereo is a bit low-rent, and there are seats for four adults. The styling is really nice and I can see many units sold on looks alone. The Tornado uses fuel at an amazing 6L per 100Km and it uses the 91RON variety which is really handy. What isnât handy is the price, with the Tornado S costing $17,160 which is a lot for such a small car.
But it is real world fast and thatâs enough for us at Mountain Pass, we love the Tornado S and if you buy one, you will tooâŚ
Verdict: A crossover that doesnât leave us cross-eyed, buy one and youâll be glad you did!
Zavir Cittadino Sportivo: @szafirowy01: 4:51.21
7 of 36
At lucky no. 7 on our list is the Zavir Cittadino Sportivo, which probably hails from the same part of the world as the Brivio, the Sportivo is a badass hot hatch which manages to overpower the ultralights without resorting to stripping everything out of the car. This is achieved by using a 130Kw, 1.7L 4 cylinder, to power the beast; which is achieved on 95RON fuel. The sportivo does kinda cheat by installing a crappy stereo but the interior is nice and comfy, rather than bare-bones.
Looks classy, although less exotic than the Brivio, but a bit conservative for our tastes. A new Sportivo will set you back $15,600, which is a good deal on the face of it, but resale might bite due to a lack of dealers around the country.
Verdict: Nice Euro with a real spring in itâs step, worth every penny!
10 Likes
you sure they wouldnât also have to adjust the fuel mix and chamge the exhaust manifold andâŚ
Looks like I turned up to this contest with a stripped out Boy racer, oops. Should I have used standard interior? But then, that isnât the Armada way!
3 Likes
I seem to recall differently.
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In defense of the K1âs styling, I deliberately made it look very understated so as not to draw unwanted attention from local law enforcement, ensuring that whoever is driving it will be more likely to have a blast behind the wheel⌠Thatâs basically the whole point of a Q-car, which looks unassuming but is actually a serious performance car underneath its subdued exterior.
1 Like
The Ceres has standard interior because itâs designed to be a budget competitor to the likes of BMW. Armada tend to pitch cheaper but also with less fancy interior as a whole, so you could say Ceres eschewed premium interior. No Armada car uses premium interior, and for sportier, they tend to take Weight out, hence basic interior.
2 Likes