Hurray I’m first in my class! (of one)
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At least my Mott Works Rage did what it was designed for. Too bad what it was designed for wasn’t what you were looking for, and I didn’t really expect it to be either.
Yeah, I didn’t especially craft my ute to the competition, but I guess I lucked into fitting the requirements (in particular, carrying stuff around). I suspect the utter lack of sportiness and mediocre off-roading may be a show stopper, but that’s the roleplay unfortunately. In reality the sight of the Spirit of Euphoria bonnet ornament is all the recreation anyone should need!
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Just think, for the price of one regular ute you could buy two BandicUtes, and tow hook them together to haul one load 
570hp 8x8 anyone?
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Your writeup for this round just keeps getting better - because it’s even funnier now, and more detailed to boot!
And as for the utes that survived the first two rounds of cuts… I seriously don’t know which of those is going to win this round!
Yeah, having 580 horsepower and 520 ft-lb of torque should induce some giggling.
I don’t mind getting cut in the second pass, I made it through the first with the brute-force-and-ignorance strategy. And Kai finds it fun to drive.
Plus, my nearly-470 cubic inch V8 is far from the biggest engine produced in real life. (though admittedly, the 572 is, as far as I know, only ever made as a crate motor, but… At almost 9400cc, I figured, let’s be a little bit sensible here…)
And, let’s face it, at least I didn’t try to bend Storm Automotive lore to squeeze a 2014 Jackal into the budget. I could have done that, and I’m fairly sure I could’ve gotten the 1000 horsepower model available. But… That would have just been crazy. And would have guaranteed my demise pretty early on.
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I took a gamble with the extra cab on the reasoning it would give you extra space for a toolbox or other secure items plus out of the Melbourne rains 
Clearly that didn’t pan out. I also used automatic lockers because I’m not aware of any new 4x4s that use manual locking hubs anymore they all seem to be done on the fly these days.
But at least it made it to the second round which is more that I could have hoped for as I didn’t really think the Reveho stood a chance against the rest. I didn’t want to do any major changes to the design and it was already way too expensive still I made sure it was cheaper than a comparable spec Hilux 
Great job with the reviews so far plenty of strong contenders left seems like the classic approach was rather successful. I’m torn between the sexy Smooth Motors El-Enterato and the endearing but bug-eye blue beauty Bogliq Maverick Loadstar…But then that Dragotec Coyote got that retrofuturistic vibe.
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So much for jack of all trades. -_-’
@phale oh yeah, and I suppose you’d then also think by that logic that your 8 wheeled double-dimension monstrosity also would have 140 drivability? 
#CSR38 Final Cuts
If dogs could sweat this was when Tesla would be doing it. But dogs can’t sweat and it’s fucking stupid to pant when you’re stressed, so let’s just ignore that I wrote this sentence.
Down to seven entries. Not bad, from 27, but there can only be one winner. Time to look at the graphs and the products again. It was time to get really picky. Here was the data again, in raw form.
What were the really bothersome, deal-breaking things about these fine utilities?
- Outlander- really narrow wheels on a vehicle that was going to spend 5/7 on the road, 2/7 off it. Horrible braking distance as a result.
- Coyote- that lack of traction control in a ute that gives you boost to 400Nm… prod the gas too hard in peak hour and that sexy front end would smash into the next vehicle harder than that Labrador humps your leg…
- El-Enterato- least practical, almost the least driveable, not particularly economical… because being sexy does often mean being impractical, and it lacks traction control and stability control.
- Daemon TK- the good ol’ days are only good if the new stuff sucks, but it’s a competitive world, and it’s just plain… not as good
- Maverick Loadstar- relatively deficient safety, lack of comfort, smallest tray left
- Ridgeback Express- not that comfy, second weakest hauler of the best
- Factory Lorry- can’t do too much with it recreationally
And what were the really good points about them?
- Outlander- offroader of choice
- Coyote- biggest tray, big torque, most distinctive looks
- El-Enterato- sexy and versatile
- Daemon TK- it’s old
- Ridgeback Express- most reliable and practical
- Maverick Loadstar- it can carry heavy stuff, still very reliable, class leading economy
- Factory Lorry- Easiest to live with, solid leaf on rear and ludicrous low down torque means it can carry really heavy stuff
Blow for blow the Ridgeback Express and the Maverick Loadstar were almost evenly matched. In many crucial aspects they matched the El-Enterato for price but beat it on most of the aspects Tesla would have to face on a day-to-day basis when she wasn’t merely looking at it. So for that reason, it was time for the El-Enterato to go.
Speaking of day-to-day, 185s holding up 1627kg wasn’t a great combination for day to day urban driving, even if it made for superb offroading. So the Outlander’s time was up.
Then there was the big elephant in the room: Tesla loved old stuff, but old stuff was worse in every way. Every. Way. Except the hauling. That was mainly what had kept the Daemon TK in contention all the way up to now. But the reality was, as the thought had briefly crossed her mind earlier, the purchase would be a compromise between preserving a classic and working it to the ground. She wasn’t sure she could do that again, not for that much cost, so with much regret, it was time to drop the Daemon TK.
At this point, it was down to sexy, practical, capable, and luxurious. Time to look at the price tags again. At barely the most expensive over 10 years was the Coyote. It offered a lot, but simply the fact it would be the most challenging to drive under normal conditions, which was most of the time, made it an unwise choice, so in 4th place did it finish.
This made it a very difficult three-way. On one hand, the Bogliq was the most balanced, but on the other, that safety really made Tesla worry. Considered by itself it might have gotten a pass but in the context of the competition, it really stood out. On one hand, the Centauri was cheaper by 5k over 10 years, aided by its superior reliability. But on the other, it just couldn’t haul as much mass, because it tried to be sporting with the alloys and phat tyres, and didn’t quite hit the mark. It was agonising, because as an overall engine the Centauri was really the best. Put that in the Bowles-Noyce, and it would have been a no-brainer, even. And then of course there was the king of dailies, which really was a surprise package that, from ridiculous origins that nobody took seriously, was actually a serious contender. It was the only automatic, but in something like this, that would work well. Even if it wasn’t an automatic its construction ensured it remained the easiest to drive and the most comfy. It drank premium, but the fuel economy was very good. The staggered tyres were a bit weird, but it was more driveable for it.
Well, fuck it, looks like Tesla was probably going to have to alter her chosen vehicle a bit herself if she was going to get her dream ute. The main question was, which one had the best potential to do so?
The Maverick Loadstar’s main deficiency was its lack of safety, and that was something that wasn’t easily fixed, not legally, not practically. If not for that it would possibly have been, with a few minor tweaks, the best all-around compromise but for that reason, it’d have to remain in 3rd position.
So it became a matter of whether the Factory Lorry could be made to either be better at weekend stuff, or would the Ridgeback Express be more amenable to carrying more in accordance with the potential afforded by its chassis and engine.
Eliminating the tyre stagger in the Factory Lorry, by increasing the offset of the rear axle (something well within Tesla’s capabilities), would make tyre rotation possible, would improve offroad capability, and would sharpen the handling (though not unduly so). The addition of an offroad skidtray might even make it a bit more capable of going places (barely). Doing that might cost a thousand dollars, so not too bad, probably a net zero in the long run. Touching the engine would make things very complicated, as tempting as it was.
Replacing the Ridgeback Express’ wheels with narrower (235) steelies with eco tyres and retuning the suspension would significantly improve the utility. However, to make any further headway with living with the car on a daily basis, the brake system would have to have quite a few components swapped out, and that would probably cost close to two grand in total. The car was cheaper at first, and making these modifications for mainly improved utility to be on par with even the Loadstar would cost some money.
By this point, Tesla was going crosseyed from all the thinking. There were some facts to be addressed: 5k over 10 years was not much of a saving. It was easier to buy an engine swap than to buy a chassis to swap into an engine. Somebody would definitely want to buy the BN alu block. The fuel economy might go off a bit but it’d be using 91 which was way cheaper. And there was something a bit tantalising about buying something completely rare and unexpected, though if she would buy it for that then it would be a waste to sell the BN block…
#Decision time
After much agonising deliberation, against all expectations, Tesla decided to purchase @Leedar’s Bowles-Noyce Factory Lorry. Even though it wasn’t the best at everything, it was by far and away the best at the things that she’d experience most of the time.
Naturally everybody at the GG office thought she had lost her fucking nut. Kai had no idea what she bought because he hadn’t driven it, but it looked hilarious. Noah, who was the real ninja of the week and had managed to avoid the whole debacle by being extra involved in wiring Mercury’s electrics through every lunch break, broke his silence and denounced the Factory Lorry as an monolithic slab of obnoxious grey bogan privilege (whatever the hell that meant). Dan was half amused and half horrified at the desecration of class in motion. Isla (or was it Luca) thought the practical aspects were great but sad that she didn’t choose the best engine. Waxwell commented that her stepwise process of elimination was illogical. Strop tried to use this to wheedle his way out of Waxwell’s favour, but without success. Hannah figured that the whole do-it-in-one-day ploy was a monumental failure and threw a spanner at Strop. Tesla didn’t care (harsh). She was sitting on a museum piece in the making, but it was the rare one that she could live with every day.
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#Final Remarks
@doncornaldie I always did warn that it would be impossible to achieve all of the criteria, and choose which ones to focus on. I didn’t predict it’d turn out this way, but with regards to your entry, it’s safe to say that several entries managed to achieve the stats you got, but for significantly cheaper. Have a look at the graphs, and if you’re stuck on how, you might want to ask how they did it.
@Rk38 You’re right that manual locking hubs are the rarity now. The auto locker hub also happens to be a popular aftermarket choice for entry-level offroading, that’s where I got my impression from, but I’m not an offroad enthusiast so maybe that part wasn’t covered the best. Also, the Hilux definitely isn’t what it used to be 
We miss the old Hilux.
@Madrias but the lulz may have been worth it
In order, I would say the ranking of the entries that made it past the first cut is as follows:
- Leedar
- nialloftara
- @HighOctaneLove
- @Dragawn
- @BobLoblaw
- @TR8R
- @AirJordan
- @koolkei
- Madrias
- @thecarlover
- phale
- Rk38/szafirowy
People not tagged in this list have specifically opted out of hosting for this round. If I didn’t miss anything, this means that HOL is first in line for hosting duties!
Trivia: In the very first CSR, Niall was the winner, Dragawn was in joint 2nd, and HOL was third. Was it just coincidence that they finished so high up the order this time? Then again, in the second round I hosted, Der_Bayer was the winner, and Phale was second, so maybe it was!
11 Likes
… 
I need to make less ‘boring’ cars so I don’t feel bad if I win. 
I thought I tried this time, but in hindsight it is still not exactly lighting the fires of the types of folks that frequent this forum. Although, in my defence, if the competition doesn’t favour excitement over functionality then it’s hard to complain that ruthlessly utilitarian vehicles win–are we all supposed to enter inappropriate vehicles all the time?
Thanks for the competition @strop, and not requiring a hyperute to win! Thanks to all the worthy competitors as well. 
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Yes you did say that we couldn’t but I tried anyway…lol Though I did learn quite a lot from this challenge so congrats to everyone who participated, especially the top 3- @Leedar , @nialloftara, and @HighOctaneLove. I’ll gear up for the next round.
Stick around long enough and somebody will definitely host a proper utility van/truck competition again. What bothers me about the game’s current balance is that I fucking love turbo tech and we do see, as Rk38 entered, turbo diesel trucks etc. etc. and it makes a lot of sense. But the torque curves you get here as a result of the turbo modelling really destroys the utility and drivability value… something that will be addressed after the UE4 update comes out when turbo comes out of the dark ages
I knew already that people building high sportiness into their utes would be at a disadvantage and it would reflect the conflicting real life values and circumstances of our market (that was the interesting part). And 8-9 users still entered an overtly sporting ute despite my warning that utility was a big factor, presumably because they thought it was worth a shot. Your entry however, sure, wasn’t the sportiest thing around, but it genuinely surprised me, because it showed just how much better your product can get if you focus on strengthening compatible traits. For my part I always try to build in sportiness into my own entries, even where the round doesn’t ask for any, and I almost always get called out on it
edit: and yes, this ute contest was a deliberate irony because my own company from where all these characters come from is one of those stupid insane ultra hypercar companies where if it doesn’t lap Green Hell in under 7 minutes it’s not worth knowing.
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better yet, she could buy your BandicUte and my Jaktplan and maintain both for almost as much as some of these cars. She would have the fast car and the offroad car. Hook them together and haul everything. I think that’s what she should do
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It’s taken a while but you have finally won… deservedly! But since both you and @nialloftara have chosen not to host the next round, I am now wondering what @HighOctaneLove comes up with… assuming he doesn’t pass on hosting duties either.
And the finishing order is yet another reason why I consider this round to be the point where the whole challenge has come full circle… but it will be tough to top this round for sheer hilarity!
@Leedar - Congratulations on the win! Although I do feel
@strop - Can I ask what difference wider tyres would have made to the Outlander?
My CSR round will have to wait for another round…or 10…
Also, I just about forgot:
Or for meme casuals:
1 Like
Flawless logic
@Leedar Congrats for winning, especially with something as unusual
@strop My “diesel” might have been limited by two things - simulating an I5 engine (I set the turbos the way they would be probably possible in one, which is not the most optimised one for an I6) and trying to squeeze as much torque as possible (without destroying the engine usability) from more or less this displacement (a bigger engine would maybe be better, but this entry was affected by both Rk38’s and my company lores). But I’m happy with it anyway
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sorry, I omitted that it wasn’t just your tyres that caused problems with the braking distance. The front brakes were somehow quite a bit too weak. Most entries had 100km/h-0 of about 30-33m tops. Yours was close to 38. It doesn’t sound like much on paper but in an emergency stop on the highway or even at regular road speeds it’s a significant difference. Same with the day-to-day experience of traction in a city full of tight roundabouts and roads with bad camber, so having at least 0.1g less lateral grip in a small circle than the next competitor would actually be frustrating.
That’s not really representative of the overall issue at hand. At the pointy end of things I had to get really nit-picky, and nominate some specific oversights. Niall didn’t win it because of the use of alloy wheels and medium compound tyres. Dragawn didn’t win because he forgot the freaking TC. And HOL didn’t win it because he used Basic instead of Standard safety
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Fun fact: my version of the 6.75 Litre was actually first built in the game in the same turbo configuration as the Bentley Mulsanne, I think delivering ~340 kW with 98 RON (real life engine is ~380 kW, but I took into account the reduced torque in Automation engines). I then removed the turbos, ‘switched out’ the camshaft for a more torquey one, leaned out the air-fuel mixture and adjusted the ignition timing to prevent knocking with 95 RON–compression ratio was left untouched (which I assume is more realistic for a quick and cheap engine mod?). The idea is that this is some ridiculous work vehicle used in the factory, so a highly economical and torquey engine with no complications from turbos (lag, reliability issues, etc.) was required.
The base engine year is even 1969… all that roleplay that no one ever sees. 
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