Glad you like it 
Yep, itâs photoshop. So are the lights.
1 Like
Right-o, time for Billy-Joe to have a look at all these vehicles, thanks for all the wonderful entries 
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Now thatâs what I call a restomod! And all this for 30K? Sign me up!
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If Billy Joe wants to stay a millionaire, he needs to be smart with his money. Thereâs just not a lot of profit in delivery unless you have a ton of vehicles and drivers. That also means working lots of hours, and not enjoying his new wealthy lifestyle. What he needs to do is join in on a proven concept.
With this, he can found the new on demand peer-to-peer ride sharing service Bubbar. Great value, lots of comfort, and itâs green because there werenât any green Laffy entries yet. So, green motoring. 10L/km, $26500
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So, you want haul some stuff ?
2017 EcaMobile Bison RedLine
This Van gets even feared by Amazon Prime and other delivery services !
The Bison is designed for the US Market and also build there.
Under the Partial Alu Panels , the RedLine has a AWD, 7 speed Auto drivetrain with a 360hp, 5L V8 at the front.
No Turbo, No Overhead Cams. The American way!
VMax 225km/h.
The Bison RedLine features a Sport Interior, up to date Enterainment and the newest Safety there is on the market !
Our Vehicle comes with PC,ABS,TC and ESP.
We also feature a range of other option to customise your Bison to your needs !
Need to transport people ?
With the âExtra Rowsâ - Option we will fit 2 extra rows in the back of the van.
Of course are these removable.
Need to refrigerate your moonshine ?
With the âCoolBoxâ-Option we fit an AC to the back, so you can keep whatever is in there chilly.
Need to secure your secret Methlab ?
With the âSecMaxâ Option we will make the Bison completely bulletproof !
Every Option can be combined.
Outrun the competition for only 30999$
5 Likes
Oh⌠damn you photoshop, give me fixturesâŚ
CSR42 review blurbs, part 1 of 2
@TR8R 2017 Rampage
An SUV huge chrome scoop? Billy-Joe runs towards it, opens the bonnet, and erm, well, his enthusiasm fades a bit. A 5.0L V8 is mediocre to redneck standard you see. Also the turbo badge on the back was a lie, such a beautiful lie. Billy-Joe would rather not lie about these things anymore now he has the money. This was a pretty downer for Billy-Joe, although he winked at his âcuzzinâ when he opened the trunk. 70 Cubic ft of long cargo capacity was rather attractive, in several ways for rednecks.
@Yurimacs Zast Rantra
He sees the carâŚaaaand heâs drooling, yeap, atleast the looks are great, asides from knowing a redneck that the white wonât be white anymore in a matter of seconds. While revving heâs smiling happily, and it pulls, but with just 360 hp. Billy-Joe is unsure how to feel about that, but the car does make a good business vehicle with 30 mpg and 50 cubic feet of cargo space. Although it is unsure if the interior isnât too mundane for him now (standard). Billy-Joe canât play with his family in the mud though, and he is unsure if the carâs road capabilities make up for that.
@LilRedRhyder Omega Super Puma
Itâs Hyuge, it goes anywhere, itâs great fun, and Billy-Joe had to take it out for a rip. Big enough to fit a Redneck family while still carrying a good load and some guns. The panoramic roof had Billy-Joe gazing with awe for a minute, letâs just hope it can survive redneck antics. Carrying moonshine might be a bit of a problem with it though, as they can see it with a choppa. But for a deliver anything anywhere vehicle this is great (And also light up anything apparently). Especially water, Billy-Joe hopes people need a lot of water, although we hope that Billy-Joe wonât mix up his moonshine and water. Not good fuel consumption but âgood olâ Murican muscleâ rite here.
@conan Carnegie A99 Van V8 LUXURY
Well, itâs a delivery van âaight. Wait, hold up, are dem seats from dem fewwawiâs? Heck ye! Aand Billy-Joe spent a the rest of the hour rubbing the seats and blasting country music. When he regained his senses he realised that the cargo volume and capacity was insane, he considered mounting a minigun in it before being remembered that he needed to do deliveries with the van and that owning a minigun could be slightly illegal. Not a monsterous V8, but it gets him âround with the offroading skills of the Carnegie.
@abg7 Fleet Industries Audax Elite
After Billy-Joe took a peek under the hood he first started spouting, well, yeah, it wasnât pretty what he spouted. He wasnât pleased missing his dearly beloved V8. But once he took âer for a spin he calmed down like a baby getting rocked to sleep, possibly the most relaxing, smooth car to drive in (78 comfort). Yeah, one says that if you do what you love youâll never have to work a day, but I think the same applies to driving the Audax Elite for work. Just, yeah, every time he looks under the hood his cursing resumes. But hey, atleast he can work comfortably and profitablyâŚright?
@doncornaldie Rustic Sportwagon
Aye, now this is properly âMurican, nice V8, big grill and aight offroad capability. Billy spent a few minutes comparing his moonshine to the grill, he concluded that the statement of it shining brighter indeed was correct. Superduper advanced suspension with hydrowaterstuff suspension and electronic differential. Turbo helping with the fuel economy. This is actually a good car, but nothing to blow Redneck socks off, except for these big ass freakinâ rims, but a good comfy vâhicle with horses. Billy-Joe sure would like some t-shirt for his family too, but something tells me theyâre just going to use them as fuel for the next family BBQ at uncle Jackâs. Except for the redneck in the area one, that one could possibly even actually sell.
@DoctorNarfy Shromet Adirondack Limited
Oooooh, yeah, yep, Billy-Joe is liking this one considering the gunshots in the air. Looks great, itâs a pickup, has a V8 and 570 horsey reasons to have fun. Not just that but it also has the same soothing effect as the Audax had, but now with a big meaty V8 to shake him back to life with some throttle application. Itâs even alright offroad too. Yeah, Billy-Joe can show this one off in the mud to family. It has good cargo space too. This is the Ferrari of the Pickups alright, just thirstier than anything else he has seen so far. Weâll have to see if Billy-Joe will make sacrifices for actual profits, or succumb to sweet redneck temptation.
@oppositelock GSI Clydesdale
âOooh, itâs one of dem fancy carsâ. When he opened the hood of the Clydesdale, Billy-Joe looked a bit sceptical. We spent an hour or so trying to convince him that a V12 is actually better than a V8, rather unsuccessfully, but once he took it for a spin, oh he knew it was better. 720 horseys AND one of the more economical vehicles so far (21.5 mpg, I know, relativityâs a bitch). Itâs more of a city car, and without putting the rear seats down the cargo space is limited (22 cubic feet? odd), even with the seats down. Itâs goddarned fast though, 0-100 in 3.3 seconds on medium compound tyres. Billy-Joe seemed to never get bored to race anything he came across at the traffic lights. Just more of a supervan than a super delivery vehicle, but hey, maybe it could actually work, it still is big, and itâs goddarn fast and economical after all, with some good comfort.
Yeah, more is coming tomorrow 
I hope these reviews are alright, loving the vehicles so far.
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Pretty entertaining so far. Good job.
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I guess I wasnât 'Murican enough for Billy-Joe with my car.
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Heh, Omega is now offering Billy-Joe a custom made confederate flag âblackout coverâ. It retracts over the interior of the panoramic sunroof, to shield prying eyes from above. Free of charge!
P.S. Baja lights are designed specifically for deliveries out to the cottage in the woods at night, so he can see the rocks, trunks and mud heâll be crawling through with that right proper 4x4 system, and off road tires.
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I didnât have time to enter this round but I am dying reading these reviews and what people offered
Once again you have delivered an excellent set of reviews! Now, if I had plonked a huge atmo V8 (especially an MOHV one, for the sake of reliability) into the Audaxâs cavernous engine bay, it would have been even faster⌠But then again, on the other hand, it wouldnât have been as efficient.
For curiosityâs sake, hereâs a high-displacement V8 I just made that would have fitted into the engine bay of the Audax:
Itâs a lot more powerful than the turbo I6 I eventually used, but I stuck with the six anyway for the sake of economy.
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I went MOHV.
Super Puma likes to MOHV-it MOHV-it
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2017 Atrox Pravus
Somethings Are Better Left In The Past
Dating back to the mid-1970s the Pravus is a true classic. The country of origin may no longer exist but somehow the Pravus has managed to make its way into 2017âŚsurpisingly and regretfully unchanged.
Itâs a no-nonsense delivery vehicle for all occasions rain or shine, snow or sleet. As long as those occasions donât involve high winds because this van struggles around corners even at the best of times.
But above all the Atrox Pravus is a van that gives you a taste of the forgotten past, how vehicles use toâŚthat is to say very cheap, simple and dangerously cramped, poorly built and unpleasant to drive.
Powered by a âmightyâ venerable 1.4L OHV Inline 3 Cylinder producing a bracing 44.2 kW (59.2 hp) @ 5,500 RPM and 78.7 Nm (58 ft lb) @ 4,800 RPM. The ânewâ 4-Speed manual gearbox will hasten you towards 0-60 in a brisk 23.6 seconds.
All while returning a âeconomicalâ combined fuel cycle of around 13.36 MPG (17.60 L per 100 km) All this will only cost you $7,800 driveaway!
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The turbo badge is not a lieâŚa âtechnicianâ (newly sacked) put the wrong CSR engine into it.
Memo tâ injaneerinâ:- Yu bunch oâ slakjord censored rednex betta git yer act 2getha!!
So⌠Youâve sent a dirt-cheap, basic wildcard joke entry? At least the buyer can afford a whole fleet of them⌠For target practice. Or to ram repeatedly with whatever vehicle he ends up choosing until they are reduced to unrecognizable mangled wrecks.
And here is what a V8 version of the Audax would have looked like - much faster, but also much thirstier.
The only change I had to make to the trim for eligibilityâs sake was removing the ninth gear on the automatic gearbox - but with so much torque, the extra ratio would have been unnecessary anyway. I also fitted wider tires compared to the I6 version, what with so much more power being put to the ground.
3 Likes
CSR 42 reviews part 2
@AirJordan Smooth Bigasseagle
âDatâs one big ass cockâ, with that Billy-Joe obviously referred to the fact that the car looks like a rooster with its stripeyâŚfeathers? Sure looks like the good olâ âMurican colours. Bonus points for patriotism yâall. The body style just screams retromercedesutebutmodern, to a regular human being it might be confusing, but rednecks seem to like it. Having said that, itâs a good darn car, nice torquey V8, comfortable, and a huge pickup bed to wellâŚpick up a lot of stuff. Pretty sure Billy-Joe was counting how many roosters he could fit in a rooster. The back seat, well, yeah, thatâs prolly going to become Billy-Joeâs new gun shelf, not big enough to fit anything but an incest baby there otherwise.
@gridghost Polaris Nebula
âItâs red, that must mean itâs fastâ. Well, his reasoning wasnât 100% right, but the Nebula is fast indeed. A nice twin turbo V8 making a good compromise between both raw muscle and high mpg hustle. 20 mpg for a 446 hp SUV isnât bad at all. It has decent cargo space too. But yâall know what SUVs are famous for: big n lifted, but not worth shit in the dirt, and this one is no exception, it didnât take long before we had to call a towtruck on Billy-Joeâs usual ârather spiritedâ testdrives. Its comfort is great (55.9), but âgreatâ is nothing to write home about in this extreme company. Billy-Joe could make some money with this in the city though, and it sure does look fancy (seriously, this guy rubs anything he likes the look of).
@BobLoblaw 2017 Petoskey Stag Big Chief Edition
Everything about this is huge, sounds like the perfect vehicle to display the size of your patriotism. You guessed it, Billy-Joe needed a change of pants. It can tow and transport about anything, anywhere, while still being economical. It isnât exotic in any sense though, premium interior with standard entertainment, the only thing this has going for it is its raw size, like a virgin black male. Possibly the best company vehicle seen so far, but will Billy-Joe settle with a lesser luxury car? He needs to impress some females with his usual redneck mating rituals.
@thecarlover CM Nunavut LX
Well, yeah, alright, this is HUGE. âMURICAN HUGE. How on earth this behemoth gets 14 mpg is beyond me, and how a V8 can be this big is beyond Billy-Joe, Iâm pretty sure that he wants to marry that engine, like, as in not a joke. Even compared to its company it has good comfort, and for a truck this big does the quarter mile in a good time. Perfect colour too, CM was smart, they brought the brown car. With the glass room Billy-Joe can gaze at the stars together with his cuzzinâ (while the rest of the family can awkwardly perfectly see them get it on afterwards. Anyhow, yeah, you can deliver A LOT with this truck, and tow, well, probably the entire trailer camp.
@JohnWaldock JHW XHV 580
This is perhaps the biggest surprise: on the outside an ordinary delivery van, on the inside however, is a big V6 with truckloads of torque, that makes It get decent mpg too. This has the biggest cargo space too, hell, itâs bigger than some trailers, someone might even borrow it to live in it. They would live comfortably too, with another great interior like a smooth redneck baby crib. Not exactly a vehicle to superbly show off with though, asides from its flat out luxurious interior, but it sure makes a great delivery vehicle with lots of mon mons to make.
@Leonardo9613 Bush Alexandrina V12.
The only thing this car is lacking is a burnout mode, not like it matters to the tyres though, Billy-Joe had them smoked up in a matter of minutes regardless. Yeah, Billy-Joe can see himself tearing it up from traffic light to traffic light at work in this car, I donât think he cares anymore what engine is in it, but it also has the smallest cargo size of the competition, with one of the highest fuel consumptions, so would it really be fit as a professional work vehicle? Atleast the name of the car speaks right to Billy-Joe, even with 21 speakers blasting Cotton Eye Joe.
@Madrias Dynamite D1600
Torque for Susie, torque for Jack, TORQUE FOR EVERYONE. You know when I said a certain pickup could tow the entire trailer park, semi-jokingly? WELL THIS ONE ACTUALLY FOR SURE CAN. It is a shame then that the fuel economy and comfort arenât up to par, because dear lord, this is a monster. So, so tempting, so American.
@Mikonp7 2017 EcaMobile Bison RedLine
Itâs green, but itâs far from âgreenâ. Much to redneck satisfaction, but also not good for business, as it has one of the worst mpg in the competition, while down on power and torque compared to others around this mpg. It does haul a lot of stuff though, another vâhicle for the family to sleep in, sadly this time not in comfort, as itâs yeahâŚnot good in comfort (37.8) relatively speaking to the others. Nothing that kept Billy-Joe from revving the good olâ trusty V8 over and over though (until we had to drag him to the second last car to view).
@ramthecowy Stallion Roswell Applewood Custom Limited Restomod
Billy-Joe got a bit emotional with the Stallion, he was conceived in one you see? Because apparently thatâs a topic at redneck family diners. Nostalgia asides, this is a good olâ American beast, big V8 wagon, plenty of room to shift stuff with the rear seats down, and with the restomod, in great comfort too. Sadly its hp and lack of offroad donât make up for the mpg of 12.5. Itâs pretty hard to get stuff in and out too.
@rk38 Atrox Pravus
Is it a snowball? Is it a yeti? No! ItâsâŚa white blob on wheels basically. Billy-Joe and his redneck friends sure had fun rocking the car about until it fell on its side, firing gunshots to celebrate. I mean, I guess thatâs one car sold, but not for the purpose weâre looking for in CSR42. It has cargo size, for the rest? Erm, well, nothing. Itâs a hell to drive, itâs a hell to fuel, itâs a hell to get up to anywhere close to 60 mph.
Might want to try sell this to Lucifer.
Results
- @DoctorNarfy For all-round incredible Pickup-ness
- @Madrias For being Redneck torque heaven
- @oppositelock For incredibly HP and mpg, but lacking cargo (somehow, baffles me, should be more so thatâs why 3rd) and offroad. (passed on hosting)
- @thecarlover For a great V8 luxury pickup, just was down on comfort and offroad compared to the Shromet.
- @ramthecowy for originality.
14 Likes
i heard this somewhere before
Very well played everybody, but canât beat me when it comes to knowing exactly what rednecks want! Give me a few hours to come up with the regulations⌠And expect something⌠Literally the opposite of this round!
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Was not expecting second place with a wildcard, thatâs for sure.
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