The Douche Meter, Automation Edition

This is an offshoot of the somewhat inflammatory and occasionally controversial Douche Meter. If you don’t know what it is, take a look!

The difference: here, we apply the principles of How Douchebag Is Your Car? to our fictional companies. I’m hoping this will provoke more discussion on user created car companies, plus get more views on pages, but obviously at a price: the risk of finding out that everybody thinks your cars are driven by douchebags :laughing:

For the most part, read the original thread to get an idea of how to attribute a Douche value to a car or even a brand. The consensus seems to be that if the people driving your cars are likely to a) have an overinflated ego, thus taking things seriously that have no right to be taken seriously, or engage in non-ironic braggadocio b) drive aggressively/inconsiderately in a fashion that endangers other drivers, pedestrians and the environment, then the car scores many Douche points. This also includes how likely your car is to be modified in impractical ways.

However, to ensure nobody cops an unwarranted spray, because that is bad and you should feel bad if you do it, there will be a couple of differences in the rules:

  1. No user is allowed to post scores on a company that has not already been listed in the thread
  2. Only the company’s creator is allowed to nominate their own company or cars to be assessed
  3. A user can nominate their own car or company by posting a link to their own thread or post with the car in it, then, just like in the original thread, giving it a score out of 10 and writing as little or as much about it as they like
  4. If a user nominates their own car/company in the thread, they therefore open the floor to debate on the rest of their company
  5. This does not extend to other companies that the user has nominated

This does restrict discussion initially, but I set these rules so there is a clear and strong condition to consent to participation in this thread. And hey, if this thread doesn’t take off (because I know there are many of you who don’t approve of the entire idea, and that’s ok), then I guess we’ll all just end up agreeing that my own cars are wholly for douchebags and we all go home :stuck_out_tongue:

I will be posting from my own company when I get time, but while you wait, if you’re feeling brave, feel free to volunteer and put your ass on the line :smiling_imp:

I like this. I’ll start then:
- Obligatory Company Thread Link -
LaVache is the other main company of mine, famous for making cars named after G1 Transformers and fitted with V6 engines only. It is american and kind of similar to Chevrolet or maybe Pontiac since most cars have a sort of sporting edge and are cheap. Ours are however better because LV can’t afford to develop modern FWD platforms so we tend to stick with ancient RWD platforms for a few decades. Some of our cars were so awful that LV went bust in 1980 only to be immediately resurrected by IMP (my other main company).
Some of them have fairly insane Turbo V6s with manual transmissions, such as this Skywarp Turbo II:

But in all honesty most LVs look more like this:

Since this is the kind of car that tends to be run into the ground by old people and then driven by high-schoolers putting “TURBO” badges and ricer wings on them while trying to impress the ladies with their sick drifts, yo, I give myself a 7/10 douche on this one.


Rennen Automotive is a luxury car company who competes with Audi, BMW, Cadillac, and Mercedes. Base douche value: 5.

Most of the cars we make are focused on sportiness, and thus a few have garish body kits. +2 douche points.

We’re American but our cars don’t and never have said that. +1 douche point.

The market for Rennen is very strange; we like to appeal to a more sophisticated crowd who happen to be younger but also have a passion for cars. +/-X douche points.


If anyone wants to rate any of the cars from my company feel free to do so I really don’t care.

umm, the point is to post YOUR car here, and DISCUSS it HERE.

if we wanted to go have a look at the cars people made, this thread is not the place.

The OP explicitly states that this thread is for user-created cars and companies.

yeah, but this is the place to discuss it, not just to view it. if we just want to view it, there’s the car sharing subforum

Well I’m not really sure what makes a car douchey and so wouldn’t be very good at assigning my own value but I’m interested in what other peoples opinions are on the douchiness of my cars.

How else are we supposed to start a discussion about our own Automation cars and companies if not by posting one or two generic cars here to get people invested?

i think you missed the point.
i mean, we were supposed to post our CARS, and possible our company link too. not just our company link.


my ‘recent’ Phyton lineup. the base trim

base douche point: 5/10
it’s not really that douchy except for the engine. a 2.2L magnesium for an ‘ECO’ daily driver? “MagPower YO!”
but, the engine can be both bored and stroked up, with stronger bottom end part likely widely available.
so a base with a bored/stroked engine: +2 points
with turbo, add another +1

OP also mentions that not just single cars can be submitted, but entire companies. Much like how certain IRL car companies have a douchey reputation based on the type of people that can often be seen driving their cars and making complete asses of themselves (see: anything german).

I have two models.

1969 Petoskey Montauk RTX Aero

Built only in 1969, the Montauk RTX Aero was an attempt to improve the Montauk with aerodynamic features to improve track performance. Examples today are rarely found and when they are, they tend to be meticulously restored or in extremely poor shape.

1995 Petoskey Stag RTX

Petoskey Motors retired the RTX badge in 1971 as the upcoming use of unleaded fuel killed performance. As the company saw gains in the 1980s from the switch to fuel injection, they were impressed with the output they were getting out of smaller engines. In 1995 the 432 V8 was upgraded to multipoint fuel injection for use in the Stag Big Chief pickup. Some engineers decided to see what they could do with modern technology to give this old beast a last hurrah. Before long that had a prototype pickup truck that saw track times similar to the muscle cars of yesteryear. The RTX trim was revived for use in a special edition of the Stag pickup. Built from 1995 to 1998, the trucks were stupid fast but drank fuel like crazy, averaging 6.8 mpg.

I’d like to see your opinions of these two. I personally think the Montauk would have a lower 2/10 rating due to examples on the road today mostly in mint condition.

The Stag I would give a 7/10. While it is a badass truck, it is kind of a foolish concept to have on a vehicle used mainly for work.

Your thoughts?

1 Like

Car tires on a fullsize pickup, says someone is to cheap to buy proper tires.
That is what it looks to me.:innocent:

Since I’m only in the 1950s with my car company, here’s a snip of the late 2000s!

(from the Realism Car Challenge)

##2008 American Eagle Automotive Orela
###Category: Small Coupe

The Budget-Minded car AEA built to try to dig out of their near bankruptcy from the failed 2005/6 muscle car.

It seats 4 with a standard cloth interior, and a standard CD player. It comes equipped with Anti-lock Brakes, Traction Control, Electronic Stability Control, and of course power steering. It also has other standard safety features.

This car is powered by AEA’s EcoTec I4 engine series. The EcoTec series is an all aluminum construction I4 with DOHC and 4 valves per cylinder. This particular engine is a 2.2L with MPFI that is rated at 115 hp @6000 rpm and 115 ft-lbs torque @3000 rpm (AEA has always under-rated their engines since the 1960s.) That engine is backed by a 5 speed manual transmission, and it has 275mm 2 piston disk brakes up front, drums in the rear, to stop safely with.

It is not a turbo, despite the lettering on the valve cover

###This car will get you around 28 mpg (us). So you can save money on gas,
###…And you can save money on the car, as it will only cost you $13,970 brand new!

I’d rate it myself at 7/10, why?
DOHC I4 that can rev to around 7000 rpm, turbo on the valve covers but not physical turbo, Easy to add body kits on, and very affordable price.

This car is definitely going to be riced out by some douche high school kids!



Not that douchey, though anyone who owns one now is an idiot.


Early wasn’t that bad, but the Raven from the late 60’s was a turning point.


ECV kinda started to head down Douche road.


You’re American. But you prioritised Europe? No wonder you died in '89

There seems to be done confusion about what is to be posted. At first I thought I wasn’t clear enough in my haste. On reflection I think it’s clear but just takes a bit of careful reading:

That is to say was fine with people just posting their own company with a link. That was mainly to get a bigger sample space, buy of course that’s probably less likely to get people looking.

@titleguy1 I’d definitely say there is some douchiness within Rennen, but only because of the styling. I’d reckon that the drivers of your cars would actually be more respecting of other drivers, perhaps realising they’re driving something a little more special than a German saloon. I’d agree with your rating therefore, though I reckon you could get away with a 4/10 :smile:

@BobLoblaw Petoskey seem to be rather stereotypical American, but also slightly-more-tasteful-stereotypical American. The big spoiler on the Montauk does immediately incur a far amount of douchiness, but not catastrophic levels. And the Stag isn’t screaming “LOOK AT ME I’M A BIG PICK UP!!” as much as its rivals, so I’d say that works in its favour.
I’d say a 5/10 for the Montauk, and a 6/10 for the Stag.

@findRED19 Spoiler + High Revving i4 = prime rice material. But…aggressive design, practical coupe style, interesting styling and that decent economy rating all reduce its rice douchiness. I reckon a 4.5/10, but any riced version would immediately having to be scored higher than that.

And so, as they say “don’t dish out what you can’t take”, I must nominate my own beloved Erin to be scrutinised for douchiness. Let’s hit it.

I’m gonna post some cars that I’d like rated, though feel free to go to the company page and choose a car to critique.

Firstly, the Erin Merna.

A family hatchback? That isn’t really a hatchback? That has AWD as an option? That has chrome all over it? I can imagine some drivers being rather arsey and maybe even arrogant (but here’s hoping it would be a minority).
I’m reckoning 4/10 for this. However, the X-Eco trim definetley deserves higher for being a hot hatch that is kind to the environment. That’s going to attract a certain type of driver…:laughing:

The Erin Scarlet

Big, powerful sports coupe. Made to be a drivers car more than anything else, but who those drivers are…ehh, that’s a different question. Plenty of stats and features to shout about (200 mph, highly advanced active suspension, active aerodynamics etc…) that could get annoying after being told them time after time. And then it’s pretty stark in its design. You’re going to be able to attract attention with such a vehicle wherever you park it, a great little ego boost…
8/10 for this one no doubt. Maybe even 9/10.

1995 Erin Berlose X-AllDrive.

“Look at ME! I’m an M5 rival with all wheel drive! I’ve got flared wheel arches, lips and a bonnet that’s all bulged! I’ve got a rumbling 3.8l V8 under the bonnet! I make A LOT of noise and I go VERY fast!”
And now it’s 20 years, it’s starting to become a classic. Might be able to save it one or two douche points, but this is definitely another 8/10 or 9/10.

And now for something completley different. The 1993 Erin Visto!

Barely capable of 80 mph, an interior more sparse than the Atacama desert, enough black plastic to supply South-East Asia for a decade and an engine so feeble they need a stethoscope just to check its actually running.
2/10 max, for its eco credentials. But I could be very wrong…

Also, if anyone wanted to just rate Erin as a whole, I’d like that. Just to see what the general public think of our products and brand image. Market research, if you like :blush:

Y u no r8 ME m8? /sadfaes

You really captured the non-ford mondeo/taurus 1990’s

and for that (non-taurus) body i give the 95 scramjets 2/10 simply as no “performance driver” (read 16-21yr old ricers) would ever want to be seen in one, myself however would relish the chance to drive a RWD car with the same style

There’s quite a bit to go through already. I may not be able to address it all.

@Awildgermanappears: Skywarp Turbo II seems like the car for fairly serious enthusiasts (and plain nutjobs), but not so much douche as the default LV which looks like a ricer’s dream. I’d put it along the same lines of the kind of JDM car that people love to turbo, badge up, chop it and drop it and put all kinds of bodykits on, then take it street drifting yo. That’s at least an 8, by the time we hit 2016.

@titleguy1: Rennen’s a company that builds luxury sports cars, for those who appreciate sports cars, but not as exorbitantly priced as Mercedes. I agree with the sentiment of respect, given its focus, but in a sense the whole sports car lineup thing actually reminds me slightly of BMW. But I hesitate to call drivers of Rennen as douchey as BMW :stuck_out_tongue: That said, if you’re competing with Audi, BMW and Mercedes, the douche is pretty damn strong with you, even if you’re a less douchey version of all the above.

@rcracer11m: I find it hard to judge cars solely from the 40s, as I have no knowledge of the market from that time. But that seems like a focus on cheap performance would bring all the boys (and the douche) to the yard :stuck_out_tongue:

@koolkei: I don’t actually think a magnesium block makes for douche, but it sure is a bit of a quirky engineering choice. It has potential for some modding, so the score would actually depend on the nature of the mods and the popularity. I actually hesitate to automatically attribute points to popular mod cars, because sometimes it doesn’t make the car any worse or harder to tolerate on the road e.g. I’m just not sure how douche a well-balanced turbo on your Miata is.

@BobLoblaw: Good lord the Montauk RTX Aero looks like a douche magnet. The restoration factor could go either way, just like the argument in the original thread.

@findRED19: the AEA Orela is just begging to be boosted with such an anaemic engine! It’d be pretty much mandatory.

Oof, the smug performance driver, the worst of many worlds. Which is a shame because, you know, it’s eco!

Okay, I’m throwing my company into the ring. I’m pretty sure everybody I’m bringing up here scores an automatic 10, and it won’t change, because these cars are not significantly modifiable.

Gryphon Gear

Suspiciously advanced hypercar and race build outfit that stops at literally nothing to make the fastest cars at all costs. It’s a great fantasy but comes at a significant price: hardly anybody can afford the things they build, which is a big douche factor in itself. Given the very ethos of the company is “our cars go faster than yours”, you could say it lends itself to the ultimate in douchebaggery, as it invites just as much those who can drive fast, as those who think they can, all of them having a lot of money to throw around, and punches them in the crotch while saying “fuck you, you can’t handle all of this”.

Just as GG looked to be growing up with a more proper business model and a vision to open up their production line so their advanced tech could be more available to more people with a lower (but still high) budget, they also invested seriously in making their user-friendly cars ultra economical. Perhaps the fact they are attempting to advance the revival of the local manufacturing sector mitigates the extra doucheness this might bring: “I’m faster than you AND use less fuel than you do”. Nnnnnnnnngh!


Paint job fully optional

The premise: Somebody managed to craft an obnoxiously large mag block. How fast can we make it go?
How Douche: Mega Douche
Why Douche: This is GG in its early days, with single minded purpose to brute force their way onto the scene with a big Fuck You to everybody and no regard for anything else. The result was a front-engined, AWD racing car with as much downforce as an F1 car and more power than was ever featured in any ratified road racing code outside of drag. It was like the Audi Quattro Group B Rally extrapolated to the modern era. That’s fine if you’re creating a racing prototype, but GG lost the plot in the buzz that followed and attempted to release some road-legal versions. Needless to say it didn’t take off, especially with a minimum fuel consumption of 32L/100km, bodywork so intricate that it was impossible to repair without sending it back to the factory and an undertray so close to the ground drivers had to completely avoid any road with bumps in it, or driveways. Also it was bloody loud. Only six were ever made, even if they’re technically road legal they’re still practically trailer queens, and you’ll only ever see them at hillclimb events and Goodwood Festival of Speed.


How Douche: Too Douche
Why Douche: It has the same base drivetrain as Nightfury. It’s red. If I get my way with the completed game it’ll have a ludicrously big quad turbo V16 in it JUST BECAUSE. It’s an obnoxiously loudly styled fastback coupe. The rollcage is so inconveniently placed you have to fold yourself in unnatural ways to worm over the crossbars. It has about 1000bhp more than you could conceivably think to do with, ensuring that it accelerates from 0-100 in the same time as it does from 100-200 and 200-300. It costs more money than most people would earn in a lifetime, especially when you consider maintenance, fuel and tyres.

You would have to be an idiot and a sucker for punishment to want to own this for regular use. Even our test driver, as much as he loves this car, isn’t capable of using it on a regular basis, and he didn’t even buy it, he was gifted model number 01 by the company for his work in getting the racing team off the ground.


Premise: If you can’t make the 2hp per kg prototype street legal, at least get the production version to 500km/h.
How Douche: The Douchest.
Why Douche: As a realisation of the ultimate state of the art of racing just about everything, it is so prohibitively rare and expensive that the only buyers were the winners of a bidding war between children of oil barons from the UAE, and the children of obscenely rich CCCP-approved magnates from the PRC. Successful buyers already own the likes of the Agera One:1, Veneno, FXXK, P1-GTR etc. etc. It also chugs more fuel than a Lambo, as it needs to when capable of developing over 2000hp at 8000rpm.

Has a drivability score of 1. What this means is that the people capable of buying it would need to hire people capable of driving it. Which basically means that while it was created as an engineering triumph, it ended up being essentially penis compensation for people with too much money and a death trap.

Fast forward to a couple of years from now:


Premise: Keep up with the hypercars for half the fuel and a quarter of the price!
How Douche: Uncertain amounts of douche.
Why Douche: Does having hypercar performance for less and being more environmentally friendly smell of smugness just waiting to irritate enthusiasts, or is it doing the world of performance a service? If you can do without luxuries and premium comforts and don’t mind your cabin being quite spartan/utilitarian, you could have yourself a Porsche 918 for the price of a Porsche Carerra 911. Game changer or arrogant upstart?

1 Like