Reviews, Part 2:
8 cars sit at a vacant lot near the movie studio. The director, Richard Brand, heads shakes his head as he walks towards the row of cars.
“All these companies want their car featured in the film?”
Donald Markinson, head of production, replies.
“Product placement is a big thing these days. Companies want their car on the screen, and even more so as a hero car. A feature length film puts the car in the eye of the consumer a lot longer than any advertising space!”
The first car they take a look at is the Markley Palimino SST. Markinson starts, “A very handsome and straightforward design, a bit futuristic even, I think it emits the right attitude.”
Brand: “Markley? These are pretty expensive cars, aren’t they? Might be a little posh for the detective.”
M: “Yes, a little pricey. But it’s a strong performer. The 342ci V8 is no big block, but with triple carbs 330 hp, it’s got the power to rival some engines with a lot more cubes. Will get to 60 in 6 and a half seconds, through the quarter in 14.7, and will run 50-75 in 3.8. In all other metrics, it’s on par or better than the rest. A strong contender in my book.”
B:“I just wish it weren’t so expensive.”
M: “It’s almost identical performance to this one, the AMS Arrowhead 427. With a long-stroke 427ci engine with fully forged internals, it produces a somewhat meager-for-it’s-size 345 hp. Carrying a bit more weight than the Markley, it’s acceleration figures are the same aside from a slightly quicker 50-75.”
B: “It’s uhh, It’s not exactly exciting to look at, is it?”
M: “The stunt driver felt the same way about it’s handling, it’s not especially well composed. But they’re very affordable; $3,600 less than the Markley, at $17,600. Cheap, reliable, and fast make a fairly compelling package, no?”
B: “I like the looks of this one more.”
M: “The Valiant Renegade 262. A novel approach from Valiant to make a high performance machine with a 6 cylinder with an overhead cam. The looks are great, but you can feel the shortage of cubes under the hood; just 250hp yields 0-60 in 7.14, the quarter in 15.31, and a 50-70 of 4.81. It’s not a bad performer, considering the small engine, but it’s more expensive than the AMS by $900. Most other metrics, it’s about average. Oh, also, the stunt driver took great issue with the brakes. Despite front discs (all the cars here have front discs), the Valiant suffered from brake fade far beyond the rest, sapping his confidence in car.”
B: “Hmm.”
M: “Now this one, this is a go-for-broke supercar. The BKOO Stormer Daytona 472.”
B:“you mean 427?”
M: “No, four hundred and seventy two cubic inches. And an otherworldly 490 hp, one of only two cars here with more than 1 hp per cube. This rocks everything else here on the performance tests: 60 in 5.8s, the quarter in 13.98, 50-75 in a mere 2.83s. And it’s no dragster; show this thing a corner and it knows exactly what to do.”
B: “So this flashy fire-breather comes at a cost, then.”
M: “Quite some cost. $22,400. Reliability isn’t especially strong either, and as you’d expect from a such a beast, it wasn’t too happy putting around town.”
B: “this might be a bit much for the detective. What’s the next one?”
M: “Another favorite of the test drivers, this Hinode Mahkota ST.”
B: “This is big for a Japanese car.”
M:“It’s a full size there, which puts it close to the pony cars and compacts here.”
B: “So, does it make any power?”
M: “certainly less than anything else here. Now, the little motor can sing with it’s overhead cam, and it’s fuel injected, too, not the most proven tech but it seems bulletproof reliable so far. But power? 215hp. 60 in 7.74, the quarter in 15.78, and 50-75 in 4.68. Outside of the acceleration tests, it’s a gem, both sporty and easy to drive.”
B: “It might not be powerful enough for what we want. It’s the right size and it looks the part. What else?”
M: “GSI Martinet Speedway.”
B: “Didn’t we say we didn’t want a full-size car?”
M: “we did sir, but they sent this anyways, and it’s affordable for it’s size, $18,700, and it’s got a 390ci with dual quads making 330 hp. Performance figures, due to the weight, are less than impressive though, and reliability has been poor”
B: …
B: “This is far more like it! Now this is what I’m talking about.”
M: “Avantii Thelorma GST. It’s got a 364 under the hood, 310 hp. Performance is a bit slower than you’d expect, 7.26 to 60 and 15.31 in the quarter. 3.96 in the 50-75 is better though; the open diff makes getting out of the hole difficult. The stunt driver loved it though, flat cornering and well behaved.”
B: Yes, this one I quite like."
M: "Another car similar in size and color palette, the Cabrera Fulgor 320. A different approach at a high performance car, this Spanish import doesn’t have the power of most of the other cars, 260hp from a 320ci V8. Acceleration is still fairly good though, 7.03 to 60, 15.31, but 4.41 in 50-75, where the it’s power deficit really shows. It’s got an unusual tire setup, but the results are a car that corners excellently yet is easy around town.
B: "The looks are aggressive, sporty, and futuristic, but it might be too flashy. But it’s compelling, with close to sports car looks in a more practical package. I’m gonna think on this.
M: “don’t think too long. We’ve got a window on these permits for the street closures.”
B: “Screw it then, bring these 5 to set.”
Brand selects the @Petakabras Cabrera, @EnCR Avantii, @S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T & @66mazda Hinode, @abg7 AMS, and @Maverick74 Markley to bring to set.
The next cars to be eliminated are the @oppositelock GSI Martinet Speedway, @mart1n2005 Valiant Renegade 262, @conan BKOO Stormer Daytona 472. The GSI is too large, not reliable enough, and not fast enough. It’s only standout stat is safety, thanks to it’s massive size and monocoque construction. The Valiant Renegade 262 is one of the top contenders on looks, and the performance isn’t too far back considering the power deficit. However, with just 9 sportiness, it’s among the worst in a valuable stat, and based on the detailed stats page, brake fade is it’s biggest issue. The BKOO is proof you can have too much of a good thing. With a power above and beyond the real class of '68 with an engine far larger in displacement, it scorches the acceleration tests and is highly sporty, and falls short everywhere else, and has a big price tag.
Gross hp figures were used in this review, using a 1.15x equivalency rounded to the nearest multiple of 5.
