The time I’m most confused about what to say next: when my boss asks me what the differential diagnosis is. Because juniors always sound incompetent 
@koolkei True. Just FYI then, I’m well beyond shaving, hence the laser comment 
TNP did not need to know that.
True
TNP gets around
depends on the context. i guess true-ish
@strop wait what’s this about laser? did you made your pube permanently bold???
TNP just broke something
It’s not broken, I just strained my right hand.
TNP also hurt their hand whilst fighting random Children.
False. Appart from self-defense, why would I fight a child?
TNP hates it when their neighbours start having barbecues and their house starts smelling of meaty, juicy goodness.
Wish that happened
TNP has dicks for neighbors
True. told us we were dumping on their land once when A: it was only leaves and B: it was actually our land
TNP hates land ownership disputes
False, can’t hate something you don’t have when you live somewhere where like 90% of people live in flats or rowhouses
TNP lives in a flat
False, used to live in a house so small it felt like a flat!
TNP likes smaller houses (I do)
Nah. I love space.
TNP would like to live on a high floor and/or a hill to see just the sky above and the city underneath (I’d love to).
I know what you mean, though moving in would be a bastard.
TNP is looking forward to the General Election tomorrow in the UK
The polls mean nothing! Even this swing!!!
Well at least it’ll be interesting, I guess.
@koolkei BURN ALL THE PUBES
Nothing like having a searing pulsed laser shoved up your ass crack to make you contemplate life choices. Did I mention it’s way more painful than waxing?
TNP wants me to stop, for the love of god
False; it’s your call about what to do or not do.
As for life choices though… that leaves me a bit perplexed as to what you do in the night-shift. Generally people don’t go that far there unless they put it up on display… if you get what I’m hinting at.
The next person has a secret life.
I do, it’s automation
They also don’t know what I do with Russia…
TNP is under an investigation for Russian relations
Apparently i am under investigation for stealing hardbass from russian base.
TNP knows how to cheeki breeki
Pravda.
The next person has Strelok’s SIG SG 550.
False, I own no firearms. If that’s what it is lol.
Well apart from my old career as a cam whore significant other (who doesn’t care) and obviously the beauticians, ain’t nobody really looking, but without going into too much detail, it’s a personal foible and I just find all that bush rather uncomfortable. But my personal choices in no way should apply to anybody else 
TNP has compromising material of themselves floating around on the internet.
Just a few harmless selfies, nothing more.
On that note, a serious message: don’t fucking trade nudes with anyone, no matter what. Just don’t. You’re just taking all sorts of risks for a relatively small reward.
TNP belongs to the müsli master race
Müsli is for peasants, Granola is the food of the ancient ones and therefore I consume it daily to gain the powers of the dark shadowed lords of the underworld, till every breakfast table consists of solely granola
TNP can tell me when Audis (Audies? Audii?) suddenly became douchemobiles
2010 when they became just another Merc in the US and by then kids could afford B5s
TNP knows it’s pre 2000 Audi or no Audi