False
TNP can’t sleep
True, I have severe insomnia causing an artificial narcolepsy during the day
TNP has been in a car accident
Not really. Been very close to being in one. Thanks Italy and India,
TNP has driven up a sand dune in a proper SUV
True my family has an older Toyota land-cruiser troop carrier and it’s awesome for Fraser Island and dunes
TNP has been injured in a motorcycle accident by someone else’s stupidity
true. 'twas the worse accident in my life. almost went home without an arm and a leg. literally.
TNP has been in a 2wheeler accident too
False. I’ve been pretty lucky all around with avoiding wrecks. Knocks on wood.
TNP has had a tire blowout.
No. I’ve been in a van where the nuts that held the wheel just sheared off and we were just rolling on three wheels, luckily that was low speed.
TNP does backflips
True. Though I have to be careful, when I was younger I was too eager and didn’t condition my back properly so I pulled a few things, so I’m reconditioning myself so I don’t slip a disc or something 
TNP can do the splits.
Nearly. I’m not all that flexible.
TNP can beat me in a 100m sprint (My time was 12.432)
True. I’m in the 11s, though I wouldn’t be right now, I just got back from taekwondo
TNP has a good relationship with their parents.
Yup.
Damn, you’re fit as hell dude. Impressed.
TNP is easily impressed
False, the internet and working in a hospital ruined me.
Also I was a total school nerd, but basically blew the first couple of years of college not studying and not even partying much, I turned into a total fitness freak. If I wasn’t running I was lifting, if I wasn’t lifting I was stretching, if I wasn’t stretching I was trying to learn tricks. I turned into “Mr Ab guy” and was super lean. But like just about all of my colleagues I got saggy and unfit when studying for some exams in 2014 and I felt SO unhappy about it I knew I had to restore balance to my life by getting it back. I might not be as hardcore as I used to be but I’m older and wiser and take better care of myself.
TNP periodically fasts for at least 16 hours.
The internet never fails to impress me. I guess I’m just way too crap at everything, making me easy to impress.
That’s like everyday for me 
I don’t like eating
TNP is a pro cook (I am semi-decent at this, so I’m not all that bad)
False I can cook but its mainly just curries, steak or venison, with potatoes, beans, carrots,sweat potato and stinging nettle (it’s awesome boiled PROPERLY)
TNP knows the pain of loading 40kg bags of feed onto/of off flat bed 10 tonne trucks
False, thankfully.
TNP is eating spicy food.
Not right now, but I will be for dinner.
TNP is spicy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
True. I literally just went back to bed for an hour.
TNP literally started using literally ironically and is now literally trapped in a downward spiral.
False, but i do sit on an exercise ball
TNP can pronounce kokko, kokoo koko kokko kokoon, koko kokkoko? koko kokko.