[UE4] The Great Automation Run 2: Bolivian Affair, Chapter 5 and final results!

[strop]

I’m running further and further behind with my lore. But this GAR2 comes very timely, as a minor character from my GAR story gets his own spinoff!

Team Finish Or Die Trying

The Vehicle:

Delta is a company that specialises in budget to mid-range fleet vehicles and people carriers in sedan and van form. They’re nothing spectacular, but they always get the job done. The 1998 Delta Rugged is their most off-road ready vehicle, powered by a 2.3L i4 with low-range turbo (this one has had a couple of parts upgrades and an ECU reflash so it’s got as much go as it does grunt). It has AWD and manual locking diffs and a low range gear. The rack with light bar, the bullbar and the fog-lights are optional. In this case, it is carrying a team of two, hence this is the 2 seater variant with the long cargo bay, which, incidentally, is perfect for carrying supplies and will easily fit two adult sleeping bags at full stretch.

The Drivers:

The main driver is one Edward Cox, who briefly appeared in the first GAR as the aspiring British motor journo who had a massive crush on my GAR protagonist, Anna. Having never recovered from her rejection and subsequent transcendence into the realms of legend, he embarked on a quest to elevate himself, immersing himself in the shadowy realm of underground and extreme racing. At first he alighted in the US to cover the exploding street racing scene, and travelled through Japan, then Europe, Africa, and so on and so forth. He took a particular interest in the races that went through the most harsh, unforgiving places, such as the Paris-Dakar. His tireless work was spurred on by his personal demons and desire to chase Anna’s greatness as she trailblazed through the race world to establish herself as a professional sports car racer, eventually founding a driver development program with an emphasis on increasing female participation. As his beard grew, so too did his anonymous legend. But this GAR2 is the holy grail for him: the highest stakes, the most danger, and not to mention the original hosts whom he tried to track down to no avail ever since 1995. He may be 46 years old now, but his life stopped at 23. He is ready to put it all on the line, so he might start living again.

His partner is his cameraman and assistant, Manuel Guttiérez, whom he met while covering the Baja 1000 some years ago. Manuel shares Edward’s passion, aided by a permanent wanderlust and desire to escape the aftermath of the vicious cycle of drug cartel violence in his home state of Michoacán. A veteran survivalist and jack-of-all-trades, his skillset complements Edward’s own, and years of adventuring and worming out of sticky situations has resulted in a solid friendship. He’s particularly looking forward to seeing just how dangerous the Death Road really is, and feels that if he were to perish there it would be a more fitting death than the one suffered by his former Mayor at the hands of gangsters.

[Radster]

GAR 2: Episode 1 - Welcome to the jungle

Somewhere in the Amazon Rainforest, near Riberalta, Bolivia, 20:42PM. 25th August 2018.

The racers received a quick but concise message to their phones: "your first objective is to get to the campsite and stay there for the night. First to arrive will keep their advantage by the morning. These are the coordinates…39/39 racers remain.

One of the helmeted people started up the boat again, while the other approached the racer, gesturing at them to get ready. The engines soon started roaring, and a few moments later, the helmeted official waved their hand to signal the beginning of the race. The offroaders launched into the jungle, soon reducing their pace to face the obstacles one by one. The lead was soon taken by the Area Wanderer, but not without a duel with the Modesty Machine first. This lead to some bumping that made one of the occupants of the Area Wanderer jam their fingers against the dash.

Behind the Modesty Machine, the Serla followed the two leaders closely. However, the trees and bamboo canes they had to avoid held them back as they navigated the obstacles. In fourth place came the Ranger 4x4, with the Rugged pressuring it from behind. The Pajura tried to use an alternative route to overtake both, but that only managed to make its occupants have to remove bamboo canes from their path in order to continue.

In a different path, the Estate Roamer and the Rallye STV were having a bit of a duel, with the STV taking the correct route at a point, managing to avoid the obstacles that forced the Estate Roamer to slow down and fall to 8th place. The Land Crusher saw this as an opportunity to overtake, but failed to do so as the driver miscalculated a distance, bumping a tree and hitting their head against the window; luckily for the driver, appart from the headache, they weren’t injured. The Dirt Warrior used this to get close, but it didn’t manage to overtake the Land Crusher.

Midway through the race, the cars found a river to cross. Although most of the racers managed to get out of there in their first attempt, some of the cars had to back off and attempt it several times, as they sank dangerously in their first attempt, like the Marax or the Kaiken. The Outlander entered the river too confidently, getting stuck and sinking slowly. The drivers managed to get out of the vehicle in time, but their offroader had become one with the river, with the first team going out of the race.

After a small jungle section after the river, the racers found a clear patch to navigate through. The drivers of the Kelet got too confident, hitting a bump at high speed, rolling their car. The car crumbled as it rolled twice, now totalled. As the racers reentered the jungle, the Saetta got stuck in a rock. As the Shitbox Brothers tried to get it unstuck, with one of them helping from the outside, the Travette arrived too fast, not braking in time and ramming them; luckily, the impact wasn’t too hard, but their ankle was twisted upon falling. There were some not so nice words between the two teams before they resumed their travelling.

The Boproader had the same accident; as the Valhallan team was repairing a breakdown in their fuel system, the Boproader bumped into the Van Buren, making the car hit into the Inmortal’s torso and breaking two ribs. The Boproader had to get out of there and find another route when the Valhallans threatened the Nohda with their machete and chainsaw, but managed to get out of the jungle before them. The racers soon found a trail which took them straight into the campsite; in the long straight of the trail, the Hillbillies tried to overtake the Merkur, but the classic SUV blocked them, making it impossible.

The teams soon set their tents as they arrived, ready to treat their teammates’ injuries and rest for the following day. The first to arrive there was the Area Wanderer, and the M-Series arrived much late, after three hours of struggling to get any traction offroad. In the campsite, the racers received a new message: “stage 1, 2 casualties.”

To be continued.

---

Times spreadsheet:

gar2spread1-1 - Google Sheets

Route followed:

[Private_Miros]

25-08-18 - 22pm

Dear grandfather,

The rainforest has been kind us. I must congratulate Leo on the driving, both the dangerous trails through the dense forestation, as well as wading through the main river of the area.

Kenny was mostly sleeping next to me actually, that comfortable our Merkur turned out to be. He had to get out a few times helping removing branches and bamboo but that was it.

At least until we reached that horrid river. It took us 3 attempts to pass it, and we lost huge amounts of time doing so. It is frustrating, as our Merkur is slow, but I thought reliable both technically as well as in trusting it to take obstacles well.

I have heard of other teams getting hurt - though not seriously - in small incidents. We were spared that, gratefully. The Outlander apparently is out of the race. I should be happy, but I feel for Richard and Susan. We talked to them at dinner. They seemed like pleasant people, even though I do not know what exactly their relation is. As Leo - untypically for his optimism - mentioned: if this can happen to the Tobotar, it can also happen to our Merkur.

More in line with how I know him was when the more modern SUV of that crazy Fin Makitalo tried to pass us. Our Merkur is not a small car, but Leo made it even wider. I shouted hard enough to wake up Kenny.

We are not winning, but we reached the camp. Most important: we are enjoying. I hope that may last.

A beer to you.

[DeusExMackia]

Team ‘Southend Or Bust’

The race begins.

Original Post

---

“Why Prince?” inqruied Seb, sitting in the passenger seat with the maps in hand. James, having volunteered to drive first, decided he was choosing the music.

“I dunno, I’m on a bit of a kick at the moment” he said, ragging the massive wheel of the Estate Roamer to avoid some dense foliage.

“Fuck me mate, does that mean you’re finally over Oasis?” chimed in Martin sitting in the back,

James paused and looked straight into the rear view mirror. “Never” he said, with conviction.

“Ah good, just checking” said Martin.

“Won’t be long before he’s wearing heels and purple coats” joked Seb.

“Hey, there is nothing wrong with that all” snapped James, catching the Spaniard by surprised.

Seb turned to look at him with a questioning expression. “I wasn’t suggesting that” he said, slowly.

“Do I sense some insecurities mister Hurley?” said Martin, sarcastically, being jostled about as the Roamer negotiated some rough terrain.

“No but…” James began, sounding oddly defensive, being brutally interupted by a green SUV flew past. It was ABOPCO’s HPC Rallye STV.

“Christ that’s ugly” muttered Martin.

“Yeah but it’s not slow is it” said James, having gone all serious. He forced the gearbox into sport mode and blasted off in pursuit. Seb swore in Spanish, grabbing onto the door handle, as the Roamer blitzed across the jungle floor.

“James, easy does it!” exclaimed Martin, the worry in his voice being tangible.

“It’s 3 million quid mate, we are fucking getting it” fired back James, having caught up to the other car. It was clear that it had the advantage in terms of speed on this jungle track. The Estate Roamer was more a car for negotiating tough inclines with care and not at 70 mph, unlike the Dakar support car it was being challenged by.

James managed to get neck and neck, both cars being driven dangerously at that point. “Who’s even in there?” said Seb, trying to get a look inside. Just then, the jungle disappeared around them; Seb turned to look forwards and nearly soiled his pants.

“FUUUUU” shouted James, slamming on the brakes. They’d reached a river very unexpectedly. The HPC had the main track, and thus cleared it with ease. But James was not risking flooding this already risky choice of car.

“For gods sake Seb, you need to be looking out for this shit on the map!” shouted Martin.

“Well it doesn’t help when we have Sir Drive Angry in the seat does it” retorted Seb.

“Hey, I am trying to get us off to a good start” fired back James.

The argument continued. It was a stressful start to the race.

[TheEpicRanger6]

Team Two Idiots

“Why can’t I drive?” asks Scott out of nowhere, not a surprise with how idiotic and annoying he is.

“Probably because you have been in 36 crashes within the last 3 years…” says John in a sarcastic tone.

“I would win in any race.” “No you wouldn’t, idiot”

A few minutes of bickering later

“We reached a river… shit.” states John

“Just take it slow.” says Scott

John takes it slow into the murky river, and manages to get stuck.

“I told you I am better.” says Scott

“Shut the fuck up, you have never off-roaded before.” John replies

“Why don’t YOU get out of the car and help it get out.”

Scott gets out of the truck, and his pants soak with filth and dirt from previous river crossers.

Scott pushes the truck backwards as hard as he can, with his strength, John is able to reverse out of the river…

“Finally, you did something useful…” says John with a hint of sarcasm

A few minutes of thinking later

“Maybe we should just gun it through!” says Scott

“Might as well…”

John goes full throttle, and immediately splashes into the river and continues inching through it… the truck doesn’t get stuck and they manage to cross the river, for the rest of the way to the site, they are blasting classic rock tunes and driving slowly through the forest. They eventually arrive at the site…

A few painful minutes later

“This tent is fucking shit, it doesn’t go up.” says Scott

“That is what happens when you buy things from Walmart.” says John

They eventually get the shitty tent up and start telling ghost stories…

[Madrias]

Rental Wreckers

Previous Post - Arrival

---

“Fuck, it’s going already!” Jake yelled to Cody, and the two of them made a mad dash for the Vheego Travette. A frantic couple minutes passed as the two-liter inline 3 strained to start, but the instant it lit up, Jake had it banging on the rev limiter. “Come on, start building boost.” Jake said, watching the boost gauge while Cody slammed the lever into Lock for their rear differential. The instant the boost gauge climbed into the green, Jake dropped the car from Neutral into Drive and sprayed mud everywhere behind them, the 100-horsepower ex-rental car accelerating violently into the forest.

Being farther back than expected had advantages early on, as other teams had cleared paths through the jungle, and all Jake had to do was keep out of the ruts. Cody cackled as their turbo inline 3 shrieked and rumbled through the jungle, their car bouncing through trails and over chopped branches.

At the halfway point, however, Jake and Cody came to a complete stop, looking at the river in front of them. Cody nodded, then said, “Right. Time for the condoms. You get the computers, I’ll get the gas tank.” The two of them worked quickly, Jake disconnecting wires, pulling the cable looms up out of their usual hiding spots, and sticking the ECU and TCU to the dashboard, now wrapped in protective latex. Cody, on the other hand, was busy with making sure no water could get into their gas tank, and also dismounted the lower half of the air-box, so that it wouldn’t suck water into the intake.

“Let’s take it easy here. No point in drowning the car.” Cody said, getting back in. Jake nodded and started the Travette again, pulling the transmission down into Low and crawling in. Again, being a bit slow was an advantage, as they could see which paths were safer to cross with their relatively-low-riding rental car. The engine howled, three cylinders banging away at 4,000 RPM as the rear tires scrabbled for grip in the water, propelling them along as water sloshed through the interior.

“Come on, little shitbox. You can do it.” Jake said, feeling the steering wheel getting slushy as water intruded upon the power steering control module, though the car kept going. Once they crawled out of the river, however, Jake slammed the stick back into Drive and floored it, their turbo triple singing as they rushed to catch up with the others.

This rushing is exactly what caused them to ‘encounter’ the Shitbox Brothers and their Saetta, with Jake coming around a blind bit of dirt-trail, seeing the stuck vehicle, and slamming on the brakes. They slid into the back of the Saetta with enough force to knock one of the two over, and caused Jake’s foot to slip off of the brake pedal and hit the firewall.

Jake, as a result, rolled down the window, leaned out, and yelled, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, parking here!? You’re lucky that didn’t set off the fucking airbag or I’d make a god-damn convertible out of that shit pile!”

Cody rolled his window down, then said, “No, I don’t fucking care that you got your off-roader stuck. We’re in a fucking former rental car, we’ve made it this far, now move your asses! You’re blocking the fuckin’ road.”

As the windows went back up, Jake looked over to Cody and said, “Your turn to drive. I slid in the seat and kicked the firewall pretty hard in that crash. I’d keep driving, but it’s my right foot, so it’s your turn.”

The two of them shuffled about in the seats until Cody was driving, with Jake sitting in the rear bench, rubbing a slightly swollen ankle.

As soon as they got around the stuck Saetta, they heard an equally terrifying crash between some little vehicle and the limo full of Mad-Max-level maniacs. They heard a roaring chainsaw and yelling, so Cody punched it, their tri-cylinder terror roaring away from the chaos.

In the campsite, Cody set up a tent, then got out some of their prepared supplies and wrapped Jake’s ankle. He checked their phone and gave a grim smile. “Stage 1, 2 Casualties.” Cody said. “Looks like we’re a couple cars lighter. Then again, one of 'em turned theirs into a submarine and the other imitated a group-B rally car with a little tumble.”

“I’m surprised there’s only two casualties. I know we’re not exactly the meanest folk here, but even we gave serious thought to, well, ruining another team’s chances.” Jake said. “Seriously, if the air-bags had gone off, I would’ve chainsawed the roof off of their car.”

[VicVictory]

… yeah, I totally can’t interpret what that spreadsheet means as to what has actually happened…

[Watermelon3878]

Team BEASTLY CMV

The team has just arrived at the campsite

Ricky: Couldn’t you have gone a little faster you asshole?
Bobby: Couldn’t you have built a better car you asshole?
Ricky: This thing has 4 wheel drive, locking diffs, and the widest tires in Texas! This is your fault!
Bobby: How about you shut up and be thankful we’re here? At least we didn’t sink in the river! Or roll!
Ricky: And who do you have to thank for that?
Bobby: Shut up prick.
Ricky: That’s what I thought.

[HighOctaneLove]

Team Run N Gun

Previous Post
GAR 2: Ep. 1

25th August, 2018
20:12PM, local time

Finally the go signal was given and we were finally started on our final South American adventure. Most of the other racers roared off into the bushes, heedless of the terrain, but I chose to follow one of the larger competitors trails at a much more careful pace. The jungle was treacherous and many a traveller had lost their lives to hubris… And the wildlife!

We made slow but solid time following the trail, our lights blazing a cone of comprehension into the oppressive unknown. The Alpaca chugged along smoothly and willingly and I hoped we’d reach the campsite incident free. However, judging from the curses on the CB radio, not every team were having such an easy time of it as we were.

When we reached the river I looked for a safe place to cross. After a couple of false positives, where the bank steepened dramatically and even a decent sized SUV would sink without a trace, I was able to locate a suitable point to ford the river. We crossed over uneventfully with the only excitement being provided by a tree branch, held back by a previous teams passage, coming loose and swiping Ben across the bicep, leaving a small but irritating scratch.

The campsite was nearly full when we arrived, so we set up camp, had our dinner and settled in for the night. While we were eating Ben found out that two teams had failed to make camp. Even worse, one of those who didn’t make it was Team Old but Gold… Looks like we weren’t having that family reunion after all!

RIP
Team Old but Gold
The Communist Expendables

TO BE CONTINUED

[Radster]

@VicVictory

yeah, I totally can’t interpret what that spreadsheet means as to what has actually happened…

I will work on improving the readability of the sheet for stage 2. Right now it’s a mess

[Private_Miros]

I think I’m 5th. Maybe.

?

[Radster]

@Private_Miros

I think I’m 5th. Maybe.

Check the bottom sheet. I’ll organize a simplified one and the full one for transparency in different pages of the document next time around though

[Private_Miros]

Lol, so third last. Hmm, will have to adapt my diary entry earlier significantly then. Totally misinterpreted that last night.

[VicVictory]

Team Canon Fodder

Devin steered the Keystone down the muddy path to the river, and gunned it.

“Yeah, let’s do this ****” exclaimed Ollie.

Devin whooped gleefully as he plowed their vehicle at full throttle into the river. The joy was short lived, as they came to a rest just over a car length from shore.

“What the?” Devin growled. He gunned it, the Keystone’s V6 howling, splashing mud behind them.

“Why aren’t we going?”

“I don’t know, dude! We’re stuck!”

“This beast? With the 4-wheel drive system? How?”

Devin paused a second. Silently, he pushed in the clutch and moved the drive selector from 2H to 4L.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, you f…”

“Don’t say it,” Devin cut off his companion. “I’m gonna fix it.”

They backed out of the river in low gear, getting halfway back up the hill before going forward again. This time, the R3200 waded its way slowly but surely the entire way across.

“Yeah. Thanks, dumbass,” Ollie said as he punched his friend in the leg.

---

OOC: Yay, not last, broken down, or dead!

[Nomade0013]

2 Girls 1 Truck

During 1st stage right before the river:

Yasmin: “Slow down, there’s a river right ahead”

Isabella: “Roger!”

But the river was too much and at first and they didn't pass:

Y: “You need to rev a little higher to fill the turbo or we won’t have enough torque”

I: “Got it, gearhead, let me switch to low range gears too”

At their 2nd attempt they pass without problems:

I: “This beauty is great, honey, you’re an amazing girl! No one could build a better truck in such a short time!”

Y: “And you’re an amazing offroader, love” (kiss) “now let’s get back on track and catch up with the rest!”

After the 1st stage:

Y: “Everything went smooth today, the Nomad is working quite good”

I: “Yeah, I didn’t adapt with the turbo yet, but I’m getting the hang of it, there is plenty of power so we shouldn’t have much problem to finish the trip”

Y: “Thanks for inviting me, today was really fun, this is the best dating anniversary trip I could wish for”

I: “Well, what can I say? Nothing better than a sexy girl as my copilot to cross some rivers and explore the woods”

Y: “The time to explore the woods is over for today, now it’s time for me to explore some other well-know lands…” (smirk)

I: “Oh, you naughty girl…”

(Yes, my pc is a potato, sorry the shit quality pics)

[TheElt]

Team “As Seen on TV”

Day 1 - 2037hrs

It’d been a bit of a drive in, the tanks were brimmed as close to the start line as possible and they’d taken what seemed like the clearest route to the start line, upon seeing the cars already lined up and waiting the team decided to shut the engine off and coast into the pack, not wanting to give away with noise what the bonnet exit exhausts would already. The driver rolled down the windows and collected the crate of goodies, opening it up to find exactly what they would need; Two rolls of Flex Tape, a bottle of Cillit Bang and several ShamWow towels, along with a chainsaw and some Viagra, for some strange reason.

The memebers

Leader / Driver - Barry Scott

Co-driver / Engineer - Phil Swift

Backup driver / Medic - Vince Shlomi

The Car

A turn-of-the-century Area Wanderer with a dirty trick up it’s sleeve, as with the power of flex tape, anything is possible, and only a few days were needed to swap the engine and some of the running gear into the old lumbering beast, with a 6.4L turbocharged V12 under the bonnet, 62mph was achievable in well under 5 seconds on any surface. It was perfect

---

Day 1 - 2042hrs

Barry’s phone buzzed as he got the ominous text through, flicking the key and roaring the V12 to life, remarking to his co-driver “It take something super powerful to shift…” giving it a few quick revs, letting the turbos spool and flutter back down “Which is why you need the turbo power!”

The hand dropped, and so did the clutch of the Area Wanderer, even with all diffs locked the tyres stood no chance of putting down the 612 rampant horses under the hood from the 6.4 litre Schmamborghini engine, kicking up a storm of dusk and rocketing them to the front of the pack, an enthusiastic yell of “Look how it’s turbo power makes mincemeat!” barely audible over the deafening exhaust note. A struggle broke out trying to break past the Modesty Machine, some small superficial blows being exchanged between the two as they fought for road space and the lead, our intrepid hero Barry sustaining a cut from the ragged edges of the stripped-out interior, Phil and Vince quickly making and applying a small plaster for the cut from Flex Tape and part of a Shamwow towel, ensuring the team didn’t slow down any more than the obsticles forced them. The overtake was soon secured, an excited “Bang, and the dirt is gone!” resonated through the jungle at their success so far…

[Nicking_HC]

Aston Orc Krew: Stage 1... Fight (literally)!

Jack: Alright alright people, this is yo boy Jack Aston, comin’ at you live from the GAR 2 campsite here in Bolivia! This is part 1 of the hardcore adventure that is the Great Automation Run, and we just finished stage 1!
We got some sweet insidah info for you. But first give it up to my partners in crime; on the camera we have my boy from a dark past, literally 'cause he’s black and white. Hugh Ache!

Hugh (turning camera to himself): Hello, Hugh here.

Jack: And of course runnin’ the livestream at max quality 24/7, the man of big frame who plays a lotta game; Slyvester Dood!

Sly: Heya. Don’t forget to follow my shop @Powerpackin’ and me at @doodwithfood!

Jack: Alright alright Sly, let’s not start with the socializin’ just yet, the people at home want dat sweet info! So, without further ado, let’s kick it into high gear!

Cue show intro with a lot of racing footage, and a lot of dubstep. It’s 2018, times are tough.

Jack: So, what did Stage 1 have prepared for all the boyz and girlz who want the 3 xtra large prize money? First off, a metric ton of jungle! 39 rides had to cover ground only some crazy old Brits covered and let me tell ya, it wasn’t a fast journey.

Things started hot when the oddball Area Wanderer took the lead followed by another weird name car, the Modesty Machine. These two guys didn’t have many bets goin’ for them, but they’re shutting critics up left and right! Not yours truly of course, it takes a lot more to impress an impressive man. Behind them came Team Help How Did We End Up In Here, 'cause a weird name is the right game apparently, in their equally weird green pimple car. But obstacles got in their way, so their pace had to take a back seat.

There was war everywhere. And no war is without casualties, my people. The Land Crusher nearly got crushed when it hit a tree, but the driver dude got away with only a headache. But he wasn’t the guy who got nailed the hardest, not by a long shot. Team Old But Gold saw their ride swept away by the current, when it drove too fast into a river. Unless you got kayaks for rims, you ain’t fordin’ crap around here, folks. Let that be an Aston Tourist Lesson. The drivers got away, but they’re trained pros. Takes one to know one.

And there were more casualties beyond the river. Team Communist Expendables tried to speed for the Motherland, but all the hammer they got was on their own car. One quick rolling was all it took to write their ride off, so they’re goin’ back to Moscow on their Socks & Shoes. It’s gonna serve as a monument for the moment when you make somethin’ out of steel, nothin’ beats Americana. Thing is more crumpled than a Russian dash cam after a pile-up…

For those who’re followin’ the adventures of the Shitbox Bros., or as I like to call’em, the Cheatbox Bros., bad news; their ride got a nice knock by the Travette, which injured one of the Travette’s guys. Plus word got out that they exchanged some salt and shade afterwards, which would’ve been awesome on TV. But our trusty helo was catching more crashing action, when Team Valhalla got up close and personal with Team Bibimbap. No car was rekt, but we did have a quick chat with Valhalla and can confirm Immortal’s got a coupla broken ribs. Dudes are too hardcore though, I bet they can pop those back into place while we wait for Stage 2.
If you bought the Premium Ticket Subscription, you can see the aftermath of this meeting of minds! I can tell ya one thing; those Korean dudes are lucky they got leg…

Standings time; the Area Wanderer is runnin’ on top, followed by the Modesty Machine. The Green Pimple is right behind them. Yours truly are currently in 14th pace, but as you all probably know, we’re just bidin’ our time. Bolivia hasn’t thrown its worst at us, so we won’t give our best to kick its ass just yet. Our adventure has just begun, and it’s still not too late to subscribe now with a 50% discount for all the race updates! Follow us on @OrcKrewOfficial for last-minute updates and interviews with drivers.

Will this be a race of wackos? When will Jack reveal the secret to his rock-hard abs? Can said abs tear down a tree? You betcha, but right now stay tuned for the next update on the suicidal, genocidal, death-daring… GREAT AUTOMATION RUN 2!!!

To Be Continued!

[SyberRacer]

Team Wonderbolts, Stage 1

Somwhere in the Bolivian jungle…

As soon as the arm dropped, Xsara released the handbrake and dropped the clutch, shooting the Ranger off into the forest. The trees, shrubbery and rough ground proved easy for the Ranger, gliding over everything.

They soon came to the river, Xsara slamming on the brakes.

[X] “Any idea how we could cross this?”
Moira points to a raised part of the shore line.
[M] “We could use that as a jump and clear it in one.”
[X] “I like your thinking.”
Xsara grins and lines the Ranger up with the grassy ramp.
[X] “ALONSY!”

With that shout, Xsara drops the clutch and the Wonderbolts fly off the grassy verge, launching over the river. Unfortunately, said grassy verge collapses into the river right after them, unable to hold the weight of the Ranger, but staying held together just long enough for it to be used as a makeshift ramp.

They landed hard on the other side of the river, the soft, off-road suspension absorbing the impact. With big grins on their faces, Team Wonderbolts continue on to the camp, where they find themselves sat comfortably in 4th.

** To Be Continued… **

[Knugcab]

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS, STAGE 1

MARIE: Not very hard offroad stages, huh, mr. Wise guy? We would have needed a rock crawler for this!
JANNE: Hrmf, it appears like I read something wrong about this race. Now, let’s try to pass this section again…
ANDREAS: This machete is very cool…
MARIE: I would put that one back on this stage, if we hit an obstacle it will fly…

CRASH!

JANNE: BLOODY IDIOT! YOUR DAMN MACHETE CUT MY EAR OFF! LOOK HOW I AM BLEEDING!
MARIE: YEAH, WHAT DID I TELL YOU JUST SOME SECONDS AGO?

Marie takes the machete and throws it back to Andreas sitting in the back seat. It however did not go as planned…

ANDREAS: GREAT, NOW I HAVE A MACHETE EMBEDDED IN THE SHOULDER! DO YOU THINK THAT’S FUNNY!

Furious as never before, Andreas is ripping the machete out of the shoulder, managing to hit Marie in the face…

MARIE: MY (curse word) NOSE, DID YOU EVER HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ME WANTING TO KEEP IT IN PLACE?
JANNE: Sigh…I guess we are equal now. Now, get some duct tape and paper tissues so we can tape each other together again…

Taped together like Frankensteins monster, the team continues through the jungle

ANDREAS: Can’t you pass that damn diesel thing? You were so confident about our turbo V6!
JANNE: It’s big! It’s completely blocking our way! And I can’t pass on the sides because this is after all just a disco SUV, not a real offroader.
MARIE: We should have gotten a Brigadeer after all.
JANNE: Let’s do some psychological warfare…

(honking dixie horn 200 times after each other)

@Private_Miros

[Elizipeazie]

Operation BIRD; First Stage I

August 25th 2018; 20:42; evening

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Tonsoms phone emits a ringtone. He pulls out one of those ancient Nokia 3310s and reads the message displayed.
The race has officially started
He turns over to the other two:

Tonsom: “Alright, race is on! Here we go!”
Redwood: “Finally, time for my engineering to shine!”

Connor immediately gets into the car, occupying the rear-left seat. Tonsom follows, but on the co-driver seat. Redwood closes up the trunk and also gets into the Mimas as the driver. He starts the engine (firing it up would be severly overstated), puts into first, flicks the lever to lock the diff and heads off into the woods.

The first few minutes were rather uneventful, until they got to a river, with a Tobotar Outlander 4x4 stuck in it. Two people are standing in the river, knee-deep, furious about being out already.
Tonsom rolls down the window:

Tonsom: [shouting] “HEY! You stuck? Need a ride?”
Connor: “The car belongs to the team named Old But Gold, the members are named Richard Smith and Susan Miller.”
Smith: “STAY AWAY! I need time for myself…”
Miller: [comforting voice] “Come on… they are trying to help…”
Smith: “NO WAY! Either i get ther in MY car or i am gonna die here…”
Miller: “Look… they seem to be friendlies. They are trying to help us even though their race result will be blown by this…”
Smith: “Ah fuck it… at least i can keep my money.”
Redwood: “You can enter once we are through the river. Okay?”
Miller: “Nice of you guys.”

The car drives through the river without much of a problem. Connors preconstruction software really helped find the right path in this case and provided Redwood with crystal-clear instruction on where to drive.
On the other side, the group of four helped load Team Old But Gold get their stuff onto the until then empty roofrack of the Mimas. They decided that Connor was of little help for reloading their belongings. Sadly, their tools and everything else in the trunk sank together with the car.
Smith and Miller enter the Mimas with Susan in the rear-middle seat and Richard sitting in the rear-right seat.The other three enter in their positions as before.

The rest of the trip to the camp-site remained rather uneventful, with Redwood mostly using pre-plowed paths of bigger, faster competitors.

---

August 25th 2018; 21:24; evening

Redwood: “Well… seems like we´re there.”
Tonsom: [] “Finally… i wanna sleep…”

The three members and two guest occupants exit the car and start setting up their tents.
Building up a tent was not much of an issue for Susan and Richard, although it´s size (they have seperate tents) made it take longer than most others. Tonsom has serious problems getting his tent assembled, while Redwood took it a sptep further and sets camp in 14 seconds, because he has one of those throw-and-it-opens-into-a-tent-tent things. After that, he helps Tonsom, unsuccessfully, leading to Tonsom having to sleep in the car this time. Connor, not owning a tent in the first place has to stay in the car as well.
While Miller, Smith and Redwood are making themselves at home in their tents, there is a bot of talking in the Mimas…

Tonsom: “Well… my tent is apparently broken. So i have to stay with you the night…”
Tonsom folds the driver seat full flat, now lying down in the car.
Connor: “Your tent is in perfect condition and nothing is missing, Captain.”
Tonsom: “Your ice is getting thin already, and we are fourty minutes in… you want to make it even thinner?”
Connor: [obviously not getting it] “Which sheet of ice are you talking about?”
Tonsom: “Fuck… you are dumber than expected… Anyway… got some topics to talk about?”
Connor: “Yes.”
Tonsom: “Blast ahead.”
Connor: “Can i have my coin back?”
Tonsom: “Why the fuck do you want the coin now??”

Connor: “Remember our visit at Millers Cars and Vans?”
Tonsom: [to himself] “Oh my god not that thing…”
Connor: “Your attack loosened a Thirium hose connection, leading to severe loss of Thirium. The loss resulted in me having to use passive-mode in order to prevent any additional damage. That is why i should have collapsed onto the floor.”
Tonsom: “Oh… Did not think of you being… able to be ingured?”
Connor: “Being damaged. The connection was re-established around 4 minutes later and a supply of Thirium allowed me to return to normal operation.”
Tonsom: “That must´ve been when you woke up?”
Connor: “Correct. The loss of connection meant loss of calibration for the right arm component.”
Tonsom: “Now what?”
Connor: “I need this coin to recalibrate the movements involving the right arm.”
Tonsom: “Soo… you are gonna play with your coin for an eternity?”
Connor: “If you want to call it playing, yes, but not for an eternity.”
Tonsom: “Maybe tomorrow… i need some rest…”

Tonsom rolls around a bit, trying to find a sensible sleeping position. Connor just sits there, staring straight ahead, waiting for any further instructions.

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OOC stuff:
Note 1: picking up Old But Gold was agreed on voa Discord DM
Note 2: @Mr.Computah i may accept a minor time penalty at the next morning to compensate for the time spent loading their stuff onto the Mimas
Note 3: Any character in my Team (members of Old But Gold included) will be called by their last name in my posts (Connor does not have a last name)
Note 4: same applies for any other character, if a last name is available
Note 5: since Connor’s cover went down the drain in the Discord, i saw no reason to continue hiding his identity