July 3, 2017
Main Editor and Reporter: Rodger Manson
Secondary Editor and Driver: Jason “Lightning” Alonzo
Special Guest(s): Alistair Ventnor & Eleanor Ventnor
Petosky Co-Founder Turns 100
Petosky Motors Co-Founder Alistair Ventnor turned 100 today. How he’s still alive, i have no idea.
If you didn’t know, Petosky was founded somewhere in the late 1930’s, where the Great Depression was still taking place, and Vector City was still getting hammered by the civil war going on there. I actually have a yellow Bambino GT in some godforsaken garage on Faraday Street i drive around once in a while, passed down by my late grandfather, so i guess i’m sort of familiar with the guy. Despite the scandals and lazy adverts in the olden days, it seems that they’ve changed a lot in the past years.
But what’s so special about today, then? I mean, we don’t really cover birthdays at all.
(Unless it’s John Dansworth’s birthdays, which indicate hope that he one day retires so he doesn’t kill us all with his endless blubbering about violence in the media.)
Whuuuuuh?
A hypercar? By Petosky?
We got the inside scoop on the new Ventnor Amindre, designed to compete with the beloved Bugatti Veyron. However, unlike the Bugatti Veyron, it doesn’t cost 1.5 million dollars, in fact it’s about $625,000, tops according to Ventnor’s number-crunchers. But does it go any fast?
Well, the first indicator that this is a fast car is a 0-60 time of 2.5 seconds. That’s faster than the McLaren P1. And the Porsche 918. And OSCAR’s upcoming monster, the GTX-11. (We hope.) While it isn’t the best track day car, this thing has been reported to do about 282 mph, and it will absolutely roast a quarter mile like it’s a WW2 flamethrower, with 8.94s @ 175 mph.
Under the hood, we have a 1,431 hp Magnesium V12, turbo-charged with Direct Injection and more personality than a talking chicken with a bowl full of Coco Puffs and a bunch of cheesy 80’s action movies.
The entire thing seems to be made of Carbon Fibre, and the entire thing is a single shell for maximum power. A 7-speed double clutch gearbox puts the shifters on the steering wheel, precise and good-feeling. Pushrod suspension, and Longitudinal All-Wheel-Drive makes it so that the car doesn’t slide off into the distance and blow up. But just because this is an absolute monster, don’t think it doesn’t have it’s flaws.
For one, the interior in this thing is out-of-place. Yes, it has leather seats and the latest GPS software, but i feel like it just… doesn’t feel right. Though, i won’t take away points for that. Just my opinion, i guess. Although what i WILL take away points for is how loud and bumpy it is. I want to feel the engine, not every single pothole in Vector City! And don’t get me wrong, this thing isn’t a gas guzzler, our number-crunchers say that this will do about 16.22 L to the gallon.
But every time, i feel like it isn’t actually off when you turn it off. Not only is this, apparently, a waste of gas, but i feel like it’s a paparazzi method that works really well. You see, the car has a camera in the front and the back. This wouldn’t be an issue if there wasn’t a picture of me in a leather jacket and Terminator style-glasses all over Facebook, posing with a Nerf minigun painted black and a paper-mache coffin in front of the car.
And apparently, other people are reporting this issue, too. If i’m not mistaken, Ventnor had this in the manual. On page 118, it says that the car takes pictures of it’s surroundings to better understand the terrain and conditions. While it can be useful at sometimes, it seems that Ventnor is a little too concerned about our privacy, and of course they won’t have some kind of update to prevent curious journalists and other shady figures from getting our stuff that we don’t want to see on social media.
There are other problems, but i don’t want to be too nit-picky. In fact, my rant about how both my face and my love for Terminator being exposed took up valuable time we could have used for interviews with the both. Not that it would matter, as Eleanor declined to interview and Alistair stayed home after his track day to celebrate with his daughter and friends.
As for the car, if you can afford it, then go for it. It’s fast, it’s good-looking, (although i think the tail-lights are a tad small) and it’s well-engineered, too. And, if you’re a Dansworth supporter, there’s plenty for you to criticize about the car, like how it encourages speeding with it’s “low price tag” and “accessibility to criminals who want to cause havoc.”
There’s only 100 in existence, though, so you better get cracking before they’re all bought up by all the rich people.
