Deadline is in about 4 hours!
It’s “a Bismol”?
This is the first foray of the Chinese company Hansheng into the European market. This means you can be a trendsetter on the cheap for buying one of the first cars from China to be sold in Europe. 81 horsepower should be adequate for anyone’s needs, and it seats four in comfort
because if it seated five they wouldn’t be in comfort. Ease of service is another bonus especially when you’re buying from a company that doesn’t have an established dealer and service network in the market. And it has a style all its own! Yours for less than what you’d expect a first vehicle sold from a country that’s never sold in the market before!
And cue the panicked flurry of last second entries. These are going to be some great (funny) reviews.
AND THAT'S IT! DEADLINE HAS PASSED!
Further entries are NOT accepted anymore.
Part one of the writeup will follow within the next 24 hours.
Introducing the 2008 Letto Battere, powered by the mid mounted AlSiI3LE-17E engine it makes 70.8HP@4900RPM & 94.7 Lb-Ft@2400RPM, with a weight of 2400Lbs it’s 4 speed manual can get it from 0-100KM/H in 13.5 seconds with a fuel economy of 6.8L/100KM, this little eco beast can be yours for just $10510:
More Pics & link to car if someone wants to check it out
CSR 100 - LordLetto - Battere.car (29.2 KB)
Edit: Welp, Will not be judged, Submitted car in time but no ad & because the ad was posted after the deadline it doesn’t count, so I’m already out.
Good Timing… Open Beta just got borked
Justus immediately went ahead doing research on which cars are actually out there.
After almost 4 hours of work, he has collected a number of cars which potentially fit the deal, but as Peter is mostly a dumbfuck regarding cars, he’ll have to narrow it down a bit to not have Peter choose a car that actually is good.
Tanaka Osaka 1.3T
What a punchy little fucker we have here…
Actually looks good, until you walk around it, but eh. 129hp is a real good seller here. Plus being seemingly schport oriented, i cannot be all that comfy. Good. And 170/65 R16?? NO WAY is he gonna be able to replace those! But it does sipp little fuel… We’ll see about this one in a bit…
considered, then binned
Huangdou Huixing XL 1.8Cu+ Tech Package Trek Package Five Star Edition
OOhhh… It’s that one chinese brand that makes not-totally terrible cars. It looks GREAT! For a chinese minivan, that is. some research typing It apparently has not much of an interior. Or brakes. Or safety tech. What isn’t there does not need to be serviced, though…
I might even consider it for myself since it also is dirt cheap and thus potentially great value.
Basilio Tredici. Let me see… some research later
Apparently a fairly warm hatch with italian reliability and complexity. And crappy fuel eco. But the car itself seems to be very worth the drawbacks. The idea is actually good. Make a good car hella expensive to own and fuck Peter over financially. Me likey.
Next one up is the Shromet Parvus RC. Okay… Bare-bones interior with what seems like a normal-ish stereo… aaandd… that’s pretty much it. Yeah not gonna take this one over to Peter. I’ll have a look at this for myself tho.
Hooray? Another whatever-asian-country-it-comes-from car. So. People say it has LOW reliability and high-ish servicing bills. Add to that the decent looks and supposedly great comfort (somehow), this might very well be the fuck-it-all car for Peter.
The GEM Coolsport… fairly lackluster in almost every way. Real kicker is the horrendous fuel eco and the fact of it being fairly good to look at. Should be cheap enough to run to get this thing through to Peter. I’ll see what he thinks of it. Thing is: not having reverse lights is illegal AFAIK…
binned for not having reverse lights (i know that was not directly in the rules, but reverse lights should be common knowledge in any country by 2008)
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS WITH ALL THOSE ASIAN THINGS??
Okay… calm… Yong Nano ST. Seems to follow a very similar approach to the GEM Coolsport. But with FAR lower running costs in general, but also FAR lower reliability… Plus, it is arguably better looking. At least for me, that is. I’ll take it and see what Peter thinks of it.
Erm… the design itself is already…
runs to bathroom… BLUAAAARRRGHHH
The Taught Apri… wait… Theaught Aprixas. Wut? So… erm… what i like about this car is… erm… it being a PeopleCar-like diesel in emissions? Otherwise it is very “meh”.
Wait… are they even advertising the right car here?
The ad says “2008 Permata Aspire E sedan”, but if i visit their website, the car that at least looks the same suddenly becomes the “Aspire E Turbo”. What is it now? Looking at it, it is actually a well-crafteed car… maaybe too well-made for what i am trying here…
So. chuckles Tengu Wunderbar… what a name hehee. What could fuck Peter over…
we have… a very questionable engine torque curve… a very mundane yet for whatever reason incredibly comfy interior… Miniscule running costs…
a bit of a thinking pause
naaahh… another one of those “too good for a bad car” cars.
Opti-italian-whatever-stuff… What do we have here… 290hp!?!? What?? Peter is deffo not looking for a hot hatch! But i kinda wanna see where this is going since it supposedly unreliable as fuck and terribly expensive in servicing. Maybe i can interest him into the actual fun of driving…
Another asian turd-mobile. It apparently has a horrible moose test result, just plowing straight with little reaction. Plus it chuggs a lotta fuel and isn’t the most reliable thing in the world. But i don’t want to actively kill Peter since he might sue me… Gonna steer… wait: plow this into the wall then…
First off. Imma NOT try to pronounce this abomination of a name. Second. The engine seems like a very poorly executed Zenshi knockoff based on the name. Third. This car seems to be actively trying to just scrape past every possible bit of the law wherever possible. Funny thing is that it is the second car missing reversers already.
Whoah… 80s Vaporwave called. They want their ad back lol. Anyway… it has about as good of a moose test result as that 90s looking Korean Motors thing, but the other way around, making it even worse. Plus it being expensive as fuck does not help either. I do want to fuck him over, but to a degree where he does not immediately notice…
WHO SENT A WANNABE SPORTS CAR??
calls Reduit Automotive
Employee: [heavy indian accent] Reduit Automotive customer service, this is Steve, how can i help you?
Justus: How the fuck did you dare to advertise this sports car thing as a city shitbox?
Steve: I’m sorry. The ads are sent automatically and i cannot control it.
Did i answer your questions satisfactory and in a timely manner?
Justus: NO… but thanks anyway
beep beep beep
Seems like in this case, someont took the Nohda EV1, slapped an ICE into it and called it the BM Bismol. It doesn’t really have anything going for it. Not for me at least.
Oh look! A hippo! Nothing particularly special engineering wise… There is nothing which is painfully obvious as of yet… Fairly mediocre pretty much everywhere.
Might give this a go if it wouldn’t look like a hippo.
bites the dust comes from asia. The Mondo EB5 X tries to be a hot-ish hatch. With fairly little success according to what i could find based on customer reports… But it does employ those 170mm tyres as seen on the Tanaka… they might become too common to be overpriced… Plus, he almost certainly would notice it, now that i really think of it.
has to fight the urge to puke again (successfully)
oof… So. A car without a trunk is called a rickshaw. and a rickshaw with a DCT is still not a car. And since Peter at least wants a functional car, this won’t be it.
To be honest… i’m kinda sick of all those asian cars here… but anyway, i won’t be looking at most of those agai, sooo… The Kinosuka Chisana. Only really bad thing supposedly is reliability. And we have another contender without reverse lights. Great.
Lemme read reviews first.
some reading; he finds out that this car is barely legal in almost every possible way
looks at pic in ad
Oh. OOOHHH. I like this one. Reports say that it is actually a fairly capable car, but it has reliability issues and costly bills for servicing. Plus it looks really pleasing in my opinion. This thing will break down fairly early in it’s lifetime and kill his budget lol.
The Bechov YK90 seems to be one of those leisure offroad SUV thingys. It has a 1.9L straight three and terrible fit an finish everywhere. To no surprise the reliability reports reflect this with horrible scores.
It will be easy to park, though.
a few minutes later on the phone with Peter…
J: Hi. Justus here. i managed to get some cars together.
J: Yeah. Five in total, i can arrange test drives if wanted for that “surprise effect”.
P: Count me in! I like the tension of notknowing what comes!
J: Mark yourselves occupied for the next two or three days. I’ll get this stuff sorted.
P: Yeah cool!
Conan; Basilio Tredici TRS
EddyBT; Tianjin PuTao Auto Shabi
Ryan93; Yong Nano ST
Xepy; Opificio Vettura Sportiva Turbo
Keikyun; AutomanSchport Aveanto
The HALL OF SHAME
Cars that have violated one or more rules are found here
[advertisement deleted by entrant]
Violation of Trim ET and service costs
Violation of Engine ET and service costs
Violation of Comfort
My entry seems to have been misplaced?
sorry for that.
edit to post is to follow soon
S = Salesman (any brand)
P = Peter
J = Justus
P: Wait… u got a new car as well?
J: Well… “new”. Some guy bought this and realized how crappy it is. Bought it off him for like three grand. Fuggin great value!
P: Hopes are that i’ll get a car bought today… my parents are driving me nuts about this!
J: Don’t worry, we got a real treat coming up.
About 15 minutes later, they arrive at the first dealership. Peter and Justus (more or less willingly) agreed to not talk to each other much for the duration of the tests to avoid influencing opinions. Upon entering, a sales man walks up to the pair and goes:
“Welcome at our Optificio Dealership, how can i help?”
J: “We have an appointment for the Vettura…”
The salesman literally turns 90 degrees and points at the car in question.
P: OOhhh. It looks good!
S: Let me show you around the insides.
salesman opens driver side door
P: [mumbling] and it goes down the hill…
S: It will get you where you need in No TIME, with our 290hp Cinque engine!
P: Wait. 290hp?
S: Yeah. anything wrong with having good performance on the Autobahn and off it?
P: Not directly, but this is my first car purchase and… i doubt 290hp being the right choice…
S: I understand… well have a nice day then…
Justus and Peter head off without even driving the car.
P: The fuck was that?
J: A car?
P: No shit sherlock… a car wayy too powerful for a novice driver…
J: How do you know?
P: My learner car had 136hp and more than enough oomph to it… plus it was larger.
J: Well… we had an agreement…
Another 35 minutes later, the duo arrives at the next Dealer, with a big “Basilio Automobile” sign up front.
Peter heads in and Justus waits outside this time. He walks up to the counter…
P: Guten Tag. I’d like to have a look at… pulls out a post-it note Basilio… Treedii…
P: Yes. That one.
S: Right ahead, follow me.
about 20 metres later
S: There we have our beauty.
P: Not exactly “beautiful”, but it’s alright… So is the interior, apparently… Can i have a go?
S: Sure thing.
A bit of paperwork later, Peter heads off.
Drives very nicely, i have to say. Interior is alright, decently comfy, not too stiff…
guns it on the Autobahn
Seems to be fairly sluggish on the lower end, but goes well enough once it has revs.
Really, it’s a perfectly adequate car from what i can tell…
The return was not very eventful, and both Peter and Justus head over to dealership #3, branded Tanjin.
P: [in his head] Arguably better looking than the Basilio. Plus that green really fits somehow.
Nice and comfy interior. Ei like it.
S: Keys are in, just sign this insurance paper and you’re good to go.
Peter signs after carefully making sure he is not trolled, and goes.
Definitly has more go to it, but handles fairly nicely, apart from it being… lazy when turning in… But it is the most comfy shitbox i ever sat in!
At some point, peter guns it down the autobahn again, where he does notice a rattling noise in the top of the rev range
This cannot be normal…
Peter returns the car to the salesman.
P: There was some rattling noise when using the engine hard…
S: Perfectly normal! That is just… eh… our way of suggesting the driver when to upshift.
P: Makes sense… nobody wants to hear that rattle… See ya!
Justus does not say much as he pretty much already accomplished his part of the buying process… so he just taxis Peter from dealer to dealer.
Peter walks into the fourth dealership, this time being part of the Yong dealer network.
S: This is the car you are looking for. The Yong Nano ST
P: I like the orange. Plus it is nice and small.
Peter gets in
P: [to himself] Interior is alright… though maybe slightly worse than the PuTao…
They arrange the test drive and Peter leaves the dealer in the Yong Nano.
Whoah here… keep it under control… Definitly worse than the PuTao…
hits a pothole on accident
Ouch… and definitly far less comfy… And it also is a lazy turner… Nah… this won’t be it for sure.
Peter hands back the car, waves goodbye to the salesman and heads off in Justus’ car to the last dealer for the day.
Peter enters and is greeted by the AUTOMAN Salesman.
S: Oh hello! Welcome to the AUTOMAN Dealership. The source and home of Trumetronic:™: turbochargin technology.
P: Erm… ookaaayy… I was looking for the Automan Aveanto…
S: AUTOMANschport Aveanto.
S: There we go.
P: Awwww It looks like a cutesy child trying to be the bad kiddo.
S: confused Wanna look inside?
P: [again, to himself] Interior is better than any other, about on par with the green car from ealier.
They arrange the test drive, and Peter heads off.
Another car that drives well and actually wants to turn this time. Engine is very predictable and more than powerful enough. Though it is arguably less comfortable than some of the others…
Peter hands the Aveato back and they head to the dealer which will record one further sale this month…
S: Thank you for your purchase! I hope you have a great time with our product!
P: YASS! My very own car!
Peter starts the engine of his newly acquired Tianjin PuTao Auto ShaBi and heads off into the distance, happy with himself and not giving a single fuck about Justus.
The winner of CSR 100 is… @EddyBT
non finalist runner-ups:
Honorable Mention: @yangx2 Made a crappy-ish car SO cheap, that it wasn’t crappy, but very good value.
Peter happily drives his Tianjin, until it starts showing it`s reliability about two weeks in. Covered by the 2-year mandatory warranty, this did not bother Peter all that much at first, until he had to do the first rounds of servicing, which put him into the red finacially.
He tried to cheap out there, but that made the reliability een worse and also voided warranty, lading to the car being sold off for next to nothing within about four months.
CHINA NUMBA ONE 🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳
Hold up I won? That reply was to the first round! (park wifi sucks). Typical, the CSR I win is with a meme company and a car I threw together in 2 hours before I left
I’m still in Florida, so hosting will be passed on. Interesting premise, gg all!
Well done to you for winning CSR100 (and for the first time ever if I am not mistaken) - you gave Peter, the client for this round, what should have been a shitbox (as Justus wanted), but actually wasn’t one (at least initially). Let’s hope the next round is as hilarious as this one!
I planned to enter this round as I did with the last few, but lost interest and bottled out. Turns out I couldn’t bring myself to deliberately submit something with a hidden flaw, as per the round’s premise.
And props to the host for getting all the reviews and results done in just one post!
It was a long time coming after many finalist placements!
We’re cooking up some… interesting ideas on the Discord right now
i typed them in google docs and copy-pasted them here lol
Didn’t even drive the 290hp hot shit box smh what a pussy.
Thanks for hosting, despite the bit of salt from me it was a fun round. Also congrats Eddy on your first win!
Thanks to @CorsicaUnknown for helping out on this CSR by checking the openbeta entries for rule-compliance.
Nah, thank you for letting me be apart the 100th CSR. Was fun helping you!