Turbol Preveza 2.8 LE
Fairly standard and unamusing front end here. This looks like a limo of some kind I’m thinkin. With a classy Landau top and extended roof over the rear. But there’s a lotta things I just ain’t understandin’ about the design. It’s a 2.8L and got one of them fancy turbocharger things and only makes 125 horsepower. But why does it got one at all if it’s a luxury car? Plus, for that kinda money, just looks a bit too small for me. Luxury means space! I need room for mah beer belly!
Dan throws out the Preveza’s brochure.
Tanaka Crezta 2.5 L Royale
Now here’s somethin’ that caught my attention. Looks like suttin the Blues Brothers would drive if they were over there in Asia-land. Got decent power and size. The price does seem to be a bit rich for my blood though. It’s nearly 29,000! I’d have to make my brother chip in for that price… I’ll give it a shot, maybe just to see if I can low ball the dealer. But it’s a long shot.
Dan saves the Tanaka’s brochure.
Ya know I had an ACA Chevalier right before the crisis. 550 V8, couldn’t beat it, yeah, those were the days, before those damn middle east countries ruined everythin! Now we got these V6 things that are all sensible and shit… and what for? I grew up with cars that used leaded gas and I turned out just fine!
Truth be told, this is the kind of thing I’m lookin for. Big American sedan that’s comfortable and decent to drive. But can it be good as all these imports here, while keeping true to its red white and blue roots? Well, I’ll give it a shot.
Dan Saves the ACA’s brochure
EmmsWorth - Regina ZW
I ain’t gonna lie, this one’s confusin’ the hell outa me. It’s a wagon, which, only old folks drive wagons, but its lookin like it wants to be an SUV too! And it’s got a seemingly sporty 2.2L 5 cylinder. Goes from 0-60 in 8.7 which is quick, but I just can’t be seen drivin around in a weird offroady wagon thing. Espically for this kinda money.
Dan throws the Regina’s brochure out.
Reduit LX2 2.5
Ah, another sedan tryin ta overwow me with turbo this and hydraulic suspension that. Well I’m lookin ta replace my old car because it keeps breakin, not tryin ta spend more time in the dealer getting it fixed, thanks!
Dan throws out the Reduit’s brochure.
Yaman Trace HT
This thing honestly looks pretty interestin. I really like the paint scheme in this ad too. It’s got decent power and all that too. Alright. I’ll take a look at least.
Dan saves the Yaman’s brochure.
Bailey Bramhall V6T
Why do I get the impression this is what them Europin folks think this is what Americans want? First off, it’s a wagon. Second, a 2.5L V6 just don’t have enough grunt to move suttin of this magnitude. And it don’t even got a cassette player! Just ain’t worth that much money.
Dan throws out the Bramhall’s brochure.
FM HiWay 2.0auto
Here we got another example of an econo ricebox puttin’ on a fancy suit and tie and callin it a day. It’s got the price tag of a full size sedan, yet it’s a 4 banger with less than 100hp and FWD. And I ain’t spendin this kinda money to get this little eco thing. No thanks.
Dan throws out the FM’s brochure.
Sargasso Centauri 2.7i Coupe
A rather simple design but there ain’t nothin too wrong that I can see. A nice, big coupe with style and luxury, seems to check all the boxes. A little underpowered, but I’ll see if that really makes all the difference in person.
Dan saves the Centauri’s brochure.
A muscular muscle car lookin thing, nice. Got a big V6 too… but it just looks too bland for my humble opinion. Which is to say the right opinion. Espically suffers at the rear end, where there’s, like, nuttin to look at but the taillights. Fine but uninteresting.
Dan throws out the Ventura’s brochure.
There’s somethin interestin to me about this one. It’s kinda like the car version of a mullet. Fairly elegant but unassuming looks, econo-shitbox like 4 banger, but it’s boosted by one of them turbo pinwheel things. And fairly good value for money. Alright, I’ll have a look. I just don’t like these turbo things because I don’t understand em!
Dan saves the Avantii’s brochure.
Mondo 720E Premier
Baby barf green… maybe not the best color to advertise yer car in? And the fogs look like buck teeth. Just… not a terribly good lookin thing is it. I honestly just don’t see myself bein able to drive around in sometin lookin like tat.
Dan throws the Mondo’s brochure out.
Maesima Celento 2.0 Eco Liftback (US Spec UM10)
Ayy, I saw this one on the TV durin Mash! Talkin ‘bout their fancy warranty or whatever. May… My… May-See-Im-Ia? Gadam Imports can’t learn to name they’re cars American. I know over there in Commie land, everyone’s broke and ridin aroun’ on horses and waitin in line fer bread… But here in the rich countries, we can afford nice cars. And this block o’ cheese is good for young folks who’re just getting outa college, but not me.
Dan throws the Maesima’s brochure out.
Dan takes yet another budweiser break. The final preliminary round will be soon.