1976 Akari Regalia VI 4.0
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You must like rubber. Those wheels are chunky.
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we are all screwed, the proffessor has joined in. RUN AWAYYYY!!!
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In 1976, Rigore unveiled their 4th all-new model; the Anubis luxury sedan. Although it was purportedly aimed squarely at European sports and luxury sedans, the squared edges and imposing design hinted at a more direct attack on its own American soil.
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The 1978 Contra Chieftain Brougham Du Soleil. Featuring a state-of-the-art Fuel Injected V8, a power-retractable top, an exclusive on a Four-Door car, and a ride so luxurious, you might just forget you are driving.
Why tolerate anything else?
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1976 Mont Royal Montcalm Phaéton
The freshly updated 1976 Mont Royal Montcalm Phaéton is full of all the features you’d expect from a modern luxury car, and more. With a sleek yet imposing design, the Montcalm easily stands out among the competition. What sets it apart is the four-door convertible Phaéton model, because why should you sacrifice the opulence of top-down motoring just for air conditioning? The Montcalm Phaéton features both.
Optional on hardtop models and standard on the Phaéton is the 410ci V12 offering a smoothness any V8 simply cannot achieve, and when paired with the hydraulic suspension system it makes the Montcalm one of the most comfortable cars on the road.
Visit your Mont Royal dealership and see for yourself what luxury can be.
I didn’t have time to make a fancy magazine ad, sorry.
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And this is why you dont wait until the deadline to submit. I had completed this entry almost a week ago, but damn computer has been stuffing up and literally only just got it working again - I think…
EDIT: Damn nope. I can play other games, but Automation crashes every time on startup 
1975 Buckler Broadsword Finale
the Ad is kinda rushed because it is currently 2:13AM, and i have to be up at 7. I have my priorities in order.
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With 1 hour and 41 minutes remaining, I’ve downloaded the next lot of entries but haven’t had time to check them through. They are from:
@HybridTronny
@Arn38fr
@bigDave02
@Lordred
@On3CherryShake
@titleguy1
@EnCR
@ChickenBiscuit
@MasterDoggo
@abg7
@MGR_99
@ST1Letho
@Mikonp7
@GetWrekt01
@ProfessorP3PP3R
@mat1476
@Spot (AfterDark3)
@thecarlover
@PigEqualsBakon
As there are no resubmissions allowed, only if there are technical issues that are on my end will I contact you to work it out.
As for advertisements, well, I’ll allow them to be put up until I wake up. Which will be in about 8-9 hours.
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Here, hold my beer…
Just managed to get Automation working at about 1 frame every 10 seconds with the lowest res potato ever.
Quite literally looking like, well, definitely not what I was originally intending to post.
Anyway, brought to you by American Luxury Motors, this is the
1976 ALM Boston - Grand Special Deluxe
I feel dirty
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Yea imma use up that extra advert time thank you very much
1978 Mondo Atlantica
Series d’Elegance
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Ok entries closed!
I’ll get through em starting later today.
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1978 Marvin Northwood 434
Villanous, advanced, sophisticated and yet simple and elegent
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Number of entries: 32 (thank God not that many)
Number of entries I have processed: 22
Tomorrow I’ll finish the last ten and start revealing results in our time-honoured tradition of starting with the 
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CSR117 Judgment
Part 1: Bin City, the Dumpster Fire of Broken Dreams
Another sweltering day, another simmering temper sequestered in that brown office. The Bronx’s kingpin was in one of his moods again.
“What the fuck is this?” Papa Fuerte barked, gesturing at one of his henchmen assistants, then at a veritable pile of brochures sitting on his desk.
“Er, it’s all the suitable candidates for a replacement for your car,” the nearest one explained, before he was grabbed by the tie, his face jerked uncomfortably close to Papa Fuerte’s huffing visage.
“Do you think I have time to read through all of these? How many are there, two thousand? I’m not asking for a diamond studded throne!”
“Sir, we just thought that if you wanted to pick a car it would be one to your liking-” the henchman’s voice cut to a squeak as his tie was suddenly tightened around his neck.
“After this long I would trust you know at least something about what I am after! Just throw out the shit ones and narrow it down to something I can manage in a day!”
With that he shoved the assistant away and stormed off. While smoothing over his shirt, the hapless assistant exchanged glances with the other and they shrugged. It was time to get to work.
Papa Fuerte is a Cuban-American in his mid/late fifties. A true local to New York, he makes it his mission to mingle with the locals and to represent them. What kind of car would a man of his stature, but also his values, want? Old school American, of course! But in this turbulent time, there were changes on the horizon and with them brought the promise of… well, was it improvement? And where from, overseas? Therein lay the challenge of trying to predict the future in a land which couldn’t see its own through the smoke and haze.
At least it was easy enough to look at all the technical specifications and immediately eliminate all the cars that were simply unsuitable for the purpose.
The good news is: none of you got binned for failing the technical regulations of submitting itself.
So with that out of the way, here comes the fun part.
Binned for: You Clearly Didn’t Show Up to Papa Fuerte’s Self-Improvement Internship Program
while the round was open to interpretation there were clearly some requirements that should have been read before submission
@Mikonp7 1973 DeerAndHunt Tines Standard MkII
Yep you got instabinned yet again in one of my challenges. Did you not read the rules where I said use radials!? 
Also it was more expensive, looks like a muscle car, not as comfy because the cabin size is obviously a bit cramped. And doesn’t hit reliability target. It’s like you’re trying to find more ways to get insta 
each time you enter a round I host lmao.
Binned for: Being Deadly At Any Speed Faster Than Walking Pace
@bigDave02 1975 Cambridge Orinoco 2-Door Hardtop
Papa Fuerte may be the self-proclaimed King of his little hamlet in the Bronx, but he doesn’t want to be The Juggernaut, bitch, much less ride in an unstoppable force which will plow straight into the nearest shop front the moment it hits regular road speeds. Yes, I know I said brake fade wouldn’t be a big deal but when your stopping distance is twice that of most of the other cars I have to draw the line somewhere.
Also, worst fuel economy by a margin. Yes, these cars were thirsty. But this one was going a bit too far.
Also, staggered tyres is a thing in a different class of car, which brings me to the next dumpster fire…
Binned for: Why Would You Put That In There? 
some things just do not happen in this class of vehicles. This includes things like staggered tyre sizes and auto lockers, this is not a muscle car and isn’t really trying to pull one tyre fires let alone elevenses ffs
@Lordred 1978 Pulsar Glydamatic 225
Mechanically speaking, this is a clear demonstration of how you can make a car simply better by being as unAmerican as you can get. But weird choices like the semi-clad undertray and the staggered tyres really didn’t jive. And in the end, 4 seats was allowed but almost everything else on offer had at least 5.
And I’m sorry but I have to post this:
The reason I’m sorry I posted it is because as a 
guy, I now have erectile dysfunction.
@Jaimz 1978 FM InterState
Aside from being a swing and a miss on the styling, it also featured a number of eyebrow-quirking choices, but none so much as the auto locker. Yes, I definitely think the clunking and herky-jerky transition from driving straight versus turning enhances my ride comfort!
Perhaps not coincidental then that this had the worst comfort score in the entire lineup.
@MONARCH 1978 Majesty S640 Deluxe
This one was the Automation equivalent to your mother finding your entire stash of Bad Dragon 
toys in your sock drawer. Featuring:
- Auto locker
- a downsized engine with the fuel economy of a full fat V8 block
- a semi-clad undertray
- the only performance air-filter element in the entire lineup for that extra comfort enhancing engine noise
- the only entry to make extensive use of the negative tech slider
So yeah try not to use negative tech sliders in Automation unless it’s absolutely necessary (or it’s the Safety tab and you want to strategically lighten your car…)
Binned for: But Muh Lore 
I told you that it doesn’t matter if it’s a lore part of your company, if Papa Fuerte doesn’t like your car, then fuck your company lore!
@thecarlover 1976 Mont Royal Montcalm Phaéton
50 shades of pootine makes an entrance with a paint job Papa Fuerte will immediately wrinkle his nose at, a V12 he will immediately frown at, and a price tag that will immediately have him exclaim “the people are gonna think I’m trying to screw them! I’m not like that, I’m not about this!” I literally warned you that just because something is lore doesn’t mean the customer’s gonna like it. I meant it.
Also seriously I saw you ruminating over that paint job on the Discord. I was bound by fairness not to say anything but I really wanted to say how did you spend that much time trying to figure out which shade of canopy to use when they all looked like shit?
Binned for: How did you even do that? 
having a decent size data set means the outliers become really obvious… that’s gaming for you
@Fletchyboy100 1978 Brantan Del-Rey 454
I had to go back over my notes to figure out how this car had the worst drivability and the highest cost by a BIG margin (even more than that V12). It was probably the +5 dual 4 barrel carbs that did it, and then this:
This is beyond boaty, it’s more like trying to surf a Hawaiian swell in a tinnie.
@HybridTronny 1973 Cailloux S-GT Vista
You’d think it was easy for a smaller car that was clearly not American to excel, but our Gravel Pebbles entry here somehow managed to be one of the most expensive, one of the least reliable and seated only 4! I guess if the aim was to go Full French mission accomplished?
Binned for: That’s Just Not How Any Of This Works
Automation is a historical account of the mainstream successful engineering ideas of the times. Less so for accounts of technologies that… literally aren’t in the game so you try to make it out of something that it isn’t
@ST1Letho 1976 Akari Regalia VI
So when I got this car and even before I opened the file, the message said something like “I put a turbo on this not because it’s a turbo but to simulate a form of induction that wasn’t invented yet”.
Then I opened the car file.
This is pretty much a concept car from outer space. The creators may think it’s all innovative and futuristic and all the rage and stuff, but like put yourself in the shoes of a 1970s Bronx kingpin 50something year old Cuban-American male. They gonna see that, they not gonna touch this newfangled Unidentified Driving Object bizzo with a ten foot pole. They gonna run for the hills. And really don’t try to make something in the game that isn’t in the game coz then you get massive amounts of confusion even before pulling different levels of language proficiency into the mix (it took a while on Discord before we worked out that what Letho wanted was Variable Length Intake Runners which… doesn’t work like a turbo at all lmao).
Also the tyres are fat yes I’m fat shaming your tyres you kinky bastard.
yeah I know they’re not actually that wide but this is a funny ad
EDIT: because I’m a nice guy
Okay I think that’s it for the first round of instabins… which means that if you get binned in the next round at least it wasn’t an instabin!
37 Likes
Your first round of cuts left me in stitches - but it reminded me that a lot of stuff didn’t belong on Seventies Yank tanks, and there are lots of good reasons why.
Edit: I am now imagining Papa Fuerte taking a look at the binned entries… and deciding that each and every one of them should be best disposed of by blowing them up with a bazooka.