The 2020 Trafikjournalen 24h clunker run (Final results at last.)

Race day, Alba racing garage.
Tom and terry were checking everything on the car was running fine,
Alex was taking a nap to prepare for the race, He was going first.
Jose was walking around, Looking at the other cars.
5 minutes later he went back to the garage, With his 100% professional analysis of the other racers.

Jose: i’m back!
Tom: What did you see out there? Anything menacing?
Jose: There’s a Seikatsu from the 80s, Those things are rumored to be indestructible.
Tom: uh huh?
Jose: There’s a classic yoru around there.
Terry: A Yoru? Those things were really fast back then, And considering the race it probably still is.
Jose: There’s also an F7 300i.
Terry: So a bunch of the teams are bringing reliable cars over sports, huh
Tom: seems like it.
Jose: There’s a facelift Kurokama SC. And it looks crazy. I took some sneaky pictures there, Take a look.
Terry and tom look at the picture
silence
Terry: why the hell does it look like that
Tom: If they crash, They’re losing those rally lights instantly.
Terry: Anything else?
Jose: Not really, Most other stuff is either some 90s econoboxes, a few pickups and like 2 cars from the late 2000s.
Terry: Got it.
Tom: Hey terry, We got an issue
Terry: What is it?
Tom: The indicators are not lighting up, No sides, none on the back or on the front.
Terry: Shit, Now that i remember, The electronics of these things weren’t great, The indicators always failed at a couple hundred thousand miles. I don’t think it will be an issue though.
Tom. Got it.

insert more checking the car and jose eating a ham sandwich

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Sorry, I was at work and missed the deadline

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RK Series Racing

Part 0.5 : Ready for processing at OOPS...

about a week later; Redwood Residency; early afternoon

Preperations have been ongoing to… well prepare the car for being sent overseas.
Redwood got to work modifying the Dione to allow for it to be driven on Swedish roads.
Soon after, Schrant went to work getting Connor and the car overseas by sub-contracting a delivery company to get the car to the next port. Connor will be air-freighted via OOPS as agreed upon.

Redwood had finished work a few days ago and basically just was waiting at his house for progress to… progress. Then, a flatbed lorry pulled up in front of his house with a crate on top.

Not loong after, someone rang the door bell:
Badinnng!

Redwood: “Err… Hello?”
Guy: “Greetings. Are you Mr. Tim Redwood?”
Redwood: [getting enthusiastic] “Yepp!”
Guy: “Good. I have been sent by a… [looks at clipboard] Valentin Schrant to collect an Anhultz Dione C and… [reading from clipboard] A… humanoid AI robot thing?”
Redwood: “Oh right. [turns into house] CONNOR!!! YOUR CRATE’S HERE! [turns back to guy] Just a second…”

The delivery guy has one hell of a confused look on his face. Soon after, this is amplified by Connor appearing behind Redwood in the hallway.

Guy: “Wait… i am delivering [furiously pointing at Connor] HIM all the way to coastline??”
Connor: “That is correct. I need to make some preperations in order to protect clothing items from delibery-based damage.”

Connor disappears into the adjacent room.

Guy: [angry] “You are aware that i am not supposed to transport humans in wooden crates, right?”
Redwood: “Totally. And you are obeying that rule to the fullest degree.”
Guy: [angrier; furiously flailing clipboard around] “THE PHCK??? I CANNOT PUT SOME RANDO IN A CRATE FOR A WEEK!!!”
Redwood: “Listen… That guy is not biological in any way, shape or form, and i can prove that in at least three ways. Plus. Look at what we quoted the cargo as…”
Guy: “This is human trafficking!! I’ll contact authorities!”

Connor appears from aforementioned room, but only waring a slightly-too-large pair of jeans as the rest of his attire is being held up in a neatly folded packacke wrapped in a cotton bag.
Don’t wanna get his only set of clothing damaged in transit, right?

Connor: “Is there a problem, Mister?”
Guy: [still angry as can be] “You are not going into the crate right there!!”
Redwood: [annoyed] “He won’t belive that you are what we quoted you as…”
Connor: “What am i being quoted as?”
Redwood: “Humanoid AI. He probably wants proof.”
Connor: “How extensive do you want it to be?”
Guy: “JUST FUCKING PROVE IT! I DARE YOU! And that glowy circle thing does not count…”
Connor: “Alright alright… No need to rush it.”

Connor hands the bundle of clothing up to the guy.

Connor: “Can you hold this for a second?”

The Guy fumbles a bit with his clipboard, takes the bundle, just to near-instantly drop it to the ground.

Connor: “…Granted, the instructions were a bit vague…”

Connor fiddles around with his right hand on his left elboy, soon turning the entire forearm white and detaching it from the rest of him.

Guy: “Fuck you and your prosthetic limbs! You aren’t gonna get me yet!”

Connor then proceeds to turn himself entirely white, also receeding any hair including eyebrows and eyelashes.

Guy: [shocked] “WHAT?!?!??”
Redwood: [also surprised] “Did not expect THIS, but… told 'ya, i guess.”
Guy: [still highly irritated] “You win. But can you PLEASE revert that, this is driving me nuts. I’ll go crack open the crate, i guess…”

Connor immediately turns Connor again and proceeds to pick up the recently-dropped bundle. Then he walks over to the intensively-padded crate and steps in.
Not long after, the crate is nailed shut and the Dione loaded up as well.

[PIC 3]

Redwood feels content, knowing that the race is going down soon and is heading to the airport tomorrow.
With Connor and the car in transit, things were going well, until…


two days later; OOPS airfreight distribution Centre

Two OOPS employees are sitting around, constantly checking bags, crates, boxes and other stuff until they notice Connor basically hugging his clithing bundle in fetal position while in the crate.

Jim: “WAIT! Divert that crate there! There’s a frigging guy in there!”
Joe: “The fuck??”

A button-press later, the crate ends up in a corner labeled, thorough search.

Joe: “Let us have a look then.”

They open the crate “professionally”, with a goddamn crowbar of all things, to find lots of packing peanuts under which Connor is buried. Fairly intense “breathing” can be seen in there.

Jim: “There’s a literal guy in there lol”
Joe: “U think he ded?”
Jim: “Don’t think so… looks like he’s definitly breathing. Let’s get 'em outta here!”

The two spray peanuts all over the place and then try to hoist the surpisingly heavy machine out of the crate. This is not exactly successful as Joe drops the foot-end of him to the ground, after that “circle thing” on his temple goes yellow.

Plonk

Joe: [panicking] “FuccFuccFuccFuccFucc”
Jim: “You incometent baboon! You cannot just drop… wait, what is he even being sent as? [looks at crate labeling] Wut? Humanoid AI?? [pulling out details sheet] At 12500 DOLLARS INSURED VALUE??? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??”
Joe: “U think he noticed?”
Jim: “Yeah… he does kinda breathe… less deep than IN the crate, but still breathing, buut… either he’s hella stoned on sedatives or just unconscious for about three days or so…”
Joe: “Oh wait, there was a thing!”

Hoe frantically searches for his phone, dropping the other end of Connor in the process.

Jim: “U aren’t exactly a competent baboon either.”
Joe: “Shut up…”

He pulls up a test message from the delivery guy who started Connor’s trip.

If you get a 12500 Dollar “Humanoid AI” in a crate then it’s legit. Tapped into my body cam capturing footage of him… it proving.

Joe: “Dayum. He legit not human lulz.”
Jim: “Why he breathin’ tho?”
Joe: “Don’t ask me! I don’t know… realism? Cooling? I don’t fucking know…”
Jim: “What’s… it meant for? [winking] Pleasure?”
Joe: “At 12500 Dollars it cannot be a… pleasure-bot.”
Jim: [grinning] “A very sophisticated pleasure bot?”
Joe: “Wow… child. Maybe something for med students? Hence why he’s breathing, maybe?”
Jim: [still grinning] “So that nurses can have fun on their off-time?”
Joe: “Infant. 'Nuff said.”
Jim: “Nah really it could be true. Tho he’s not being listed as medical equiment…”
Joe: “Privately funded or some shit… Either way, let’s get him back IN the crate so that nobody fires us…”

They manage to fiddle Connor into the crate in more or less the same position, but only with about half the packing peanuts.
The crate is then sealed and sent for air travel.

Jim: “I’m blaming damages on you dropping him first.”

to be continued


note:
i tried to keep this a teen-friendly as possible

if the mods deem it to not follow some or all of the forum rules, notify me and i’ll edit the affected part as quickly as possible

also:
the next part will still be pre-race as i could not muster to finish writing delivery of car and driver yet

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EP1 - TEAM RALLIHEART

Somewhere in Sweden

A rotund, shimmering sun soared over the Swedish skies, splattering the Nordic landscape in vibrant hues. Its serene beauty was unparalleled; the vast azure sky hung over a lush forest that lined both sides of the road, and in the background, a dormant volcano lightly covered in a blanket of snow began to grow over the thick green forest canopy, watching over the forest in its cold gaze of stone, lying in wait. To complete the scene was only the finest harmony composed by none other than mother nature herself; a light wind as quiet as a whisper flowed through the forest, evidenced by the eternal dance of the tall grasses and coniferous pines. A melodic soprano was delivered by various avian fauna, a sight unseen.

One would agree that it was quite a picturesque scene, indeed. Perhaps one that was too perfect. It's easy to view the world through rose-tinted glasses and erase the undesirable traits that taint the experience. Of course, reality is unforgiving and cannot be ignored; nothing can ever be perfect, not even this peaceful scene somewhere in Sweden.

When you hear of the word "Japanese car," what do you think of? Some will immediately think of the average indestructible family sedan; good on gas, won't penetrate or crush you in the event of a crash, boring. Others might conjure images of a sleek, stylish sports coupe with a turbocharged six-cylinder, a legend widely as feared as it is loved.

This isn't either of them.

A 1985 Seikatsu 10K FX Crew Cab Type Rally Raid Tidebreak Turbo shot down the empty road at a speed too high to state for legal reasons. It still wore its original blue California plates, despite being in the middle of nowhere in Sweden. As it approached a turn in the road, the entire body rocked and swayed like Noah's ark, jerking its nose downwards as it braked.

Stella clutched the handle above the door and screamed as Yoona steered the truck through the left turn. Her body was thrown to the right against the door as the truck leaned in the same direction.

"YUNNIE!" Stella involuntarily curled her toes in fear of the truck tipping over into the trees and getting impaled by a branch. "YUNNIE SLOW DOWN!" She tried to shout over the buffeting wind assaulting her ears, the incessant hum of the tires with the occasional chirp, and the kpop blasting through the speakers to no avail.

After what felt like an eternity, the road gradually led into another long, straight stretch through the forest. Stella was violently rocked back upright into the seat, and various loose items inside the truck were thrown around as Yoona suddenly straightened the steering wheel. She laughed almost maniacally. "This piece of shit can't corner at all! I love it!" she remarked, grinning widely.

"Yunnie, don't do that again. I feel like I'm going to fucking throw up."

Stella and Yoona quickly glanced behind them. Sitting in the somewhat cramped rear bench seat was Wilson, one of their friends who decided to tag along at the last moment. He sat limp against the seat, his head nearly sticking out of the window, and his mouth barely hanging open. He stared off into the distance, using all of his faculties to try to not projectile vomit all over the inside.

“Don’t be a little bitch, Wilson! I’ve done worse before, remember?” Yoona sneered. The next song started playing; “Bad Boy” by Red Velvet.

“But this is a truck! I feel like I’m inside a fucking washing machine every time you turn like that!” shouted Wilson.

“Hm, fine.” Yoona skipped the track. Wilson was too nauseated to complain about his favorite girl group being skipped and focused on not losing his lunch.

“Also,” Wilson continued, “you saw those other cars, right?”

“What about them?” Yoona inquired nonchalantly.

“Are we really going to stand a chance against them? I mean, these are proper performance vehicles we’re going against.” Wilson let out a prolonged sigh before continuing. “There’s a weird bugeyed muscle car. A hot hatch that looks like a taxi. A pristine Alteron in the flesh. Even sleeper shit like the Redfin, the Jidosha wagon, the Renwoo, and the 60s Korean Ssanvan thing are bound to eat our assholes whenever there’s a turn. And at least the 1990 small offroad SUV thing is… well, small. Don’t get me started on the Kurokama and the Kuma. And what do we have? A fucking TRUCK. 4x4? That shit’s only going to weigh us down on the track, and don’t get me started on all this useless redneck offroad shit.”

“Did I ask?” Yoona shot back coldly, not taking her piercing gaze off the road.

“Did you even listen to-”

“Oh it’s fine if you don’t agree with what I’m doing hun,” shrugged Yoona. “Just give me the word and I’ll stop this truck and you can fuck right off.”

" I came here to go on a road trip around Sweden! Not to drive around a racetrack for 24 fucking hours!"

“And I didn’t come here to listen to your bitchass whine! I told you that we were going to be doing this endurance race beforehand, and you agreed. Look, even Stella didn’t mind that! We’re going to continue the road trip after this. So shut the fuck up or get the fuck out.”

“Please stop,” Stella begged. The words barely slipped from her mouth, yet it was audible enough for Yoona and Wilson to hear.

“Look! You’re making Stella hella uncomfortable,” Yoona chastised, shooting Wilson a quick glance that was as cold as ice. “Stella’s right. I didn’t join this endurance race to win. If I wanted to win, right now you’d be riding in the back of a GR30 with barely enough room to scratch your dick. I joined this to have fun with my girl Stella. You’re welcome to join us, but I sure as hell won’t let you fuck up the mood. Besides, I’d like to see you try to fit all your Supreme hoodies or molar-looking dumbass Vapormaxes into anything else.”

Wilson paused for a moment, then let out a sigh. “Right.”

“Besides,” Yoona added with a smirk as she tapped her right temple, “you can’t lose if you can yeet other drivers off the track with the bullbar.”

“Fucks’ sake,” groaned Wilson.

Bonus shot.


A NEW MEMBER HAS ARRIVED WILSON VALENTINE LIU
AGE 24
HEIGHT (cm) 178
WEIGHT (kg) 72kg
NATIONALITY American
ETHNICITY Chinese
OCCUPATION Architect
HAIR/EYE COLOR black/dark brown
FAVORITE ARTIST Red Velvet
CAR 2016 Seikatsu Regalia 350G HT

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The Wild Ones vs Traffic-Mag 2020

Part One - The road to Hell is paved with good intentions...

Somewhere in London
3PM, Finance One Accounting Offices

John Smith sighed and rubbed his eyes, the Pedersen account was doing his head in. John couldn’t wait for the weekend, when his long service leave he’d applied for started, then he’d be winging his way to Sweden to pick up his dream car; A “mint condition” 1975 Bogliq Bazooka!

John had been a teenager when the Bazooka was launched and had fallen in love with the, then futuristic and exotic, liftback coupe. Up until recently he’d been unable to buy one; either too expensive or too rusty. So, about a month ago, when the pictures of a low kilometre (weirdly Bogliq USA used the metric system) Bazooka appeared in the Bazooka.com forums at the right price, John bought it ASAP. He then went and inspected the car and found that it’d been rather crudely “P-Platerised” by it’s owner. The damage wouldn’t be too hard to fix, but it annoyed John that he’d fallen for such a simple trick. While in Sweden, he’d seen an advertisement for a ckunker run, a race for crappy cars (mainly based on attrition), so decided he’d enter. He recorded the details then headed home…

What followed, when he returned to the UK, was a comedy of monty pythonesque proportions. When he got home and told the wife, John didn’t see her sister was visiting. When he arrived at work the next day, John found an email from his brother-in-law David. David wanted to come along and, since John couldn’t do 24 hours single-handedly, John emailed him back in the affirmative.

Then John’s co-worker Neil, who’d been John’s friend ever since they’d met, upon hearing the news while getting coffee decided he’d come along too. Since John was going to invite him anyway, this wasn’t an issue, but the coffee guy Michael begged to come along as well… John relented and let him come along; Michael would at least keep the team from having to drink bad coffee!

When they returned to their workstations, John found two emails had just arrived; one from his mechanic, Tiff and one from the HR guy, Roger. Tiff wanted to come along, help out with the car and do some driving. John emailed him with an affirmative response. Roger wanted to come along too; this didn’t please John at all since Roger was a bit of a bore and always drove weird little roadsters, some kind of Wentworth Womble? John read the letter further…

If you see fit to allow me to join your intrepid band of plucky adventurers on your expidition to the wilds of Sweden, then I will be able to re-imagine this trip as a group bonding and morale exercise, meaning the entire affair is on the house!

P.S. This means you won’t have to use your annual leave… I hope this helps you come to the right conclusion

Awesome! This was an offer that John couldn’t refuse! John then immediately invited Roger along.

The day before the race

Somewhere in Sweden

The flight had been uneventful. Everyone had met each other before the flight and were equally excited to be going racing. Tiff had caught an earlier flight to get the Bazooka ready for the race and everyone else had stuck together so that no-one would get lost. Despite boasting to the contrary, the entire party went meekly straight to the hotel where they turned in early; tomorrow was going to be a long and busy day…

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TEAM BAKEWELL BOXER

Part 0.75 : Skrrt

Previous Part


1:00 PM the same day as the previous part

Johnny and Mandy have been tinkering with the JESA’s carburettor and ignition timing, trying to regain some lost horsepower. The increase in advance has made the idle a bit irregular but more responsiveness mid range is a benefit.

Connor pulled up outside in his Mums Ceder Korab Diesel, coming to a stop in the parking area outside the workshop pulling the handle brake just before the car halted sending the back of the car into a squat

Mandy: ‘‘That’s why I didn’t let you drive in America’’ She said walking over the to Connor in the carpark “And why are you in your mum’s car agAIN”

Connor: ''Because MY car is getting it’s clutch replaced after I had to tow that bloody off roader out of that field" He said pointing to the field across the road to the Jackdaw workshop.

As much as Connor insists the clutch was burnt out because it was over stressed pulling Johnny’s Enactor Estate Roamer out of a ditch that wasn’t the case. In fact Connor’s Maesima Prova had been subject to years of 2nd and 3rd gear pull aways and rocking on the clutch on hills, and it decided when pulling Johnny’s E.R out of the ditch to give up

Connor: “I still don’t understand why you used my car anyway” Connor said sulkily.

Mandy: “Because it was the only car that had good enough towing eyes”

Connor: “Anyways I’ve been meaning to say I’ve been brushing up on my driving skills since last time if you don’t mind me showing you … I could drive this time” He said it rather gingerly testing the waters of Mandy’s approval

Mandy: “Sure be nice not to drive all day for once”

Connor: “REALLY!” he gasped in shock

Mandy: “Well do you wanna practice in the JESA or my car?”

Connor: “Go for the JESA I might as well get used to it”

The two walked over the parking lot to the workshop where the JESA was kept, Mandy started it up, it started with ease, one: because Mandy was more sympathetic than her brother and two: it was already warmed from when they started it earlier.

Johnny: “Alright Connor?” He said from underneath a customers car

Connor: “Yeah cheers”

Johnny: “Good good”

Mandy jumped in with Connor in the passenger seat, and she reversed the car out of the workshop into the parking lot and then swapped seats.

Connor: “It’s left hand drive so I might be a bit rusty with the gears” with the air of panic on his voice.

Mandy: “Christ you’ll be fine”

Connor slowly pulled away slipping the clutch a bit, changing into 2nd gear very early labouring the engine. He continued acclerating around the industrial estate reaching 2500rpm and changing into third.

Mandy: “Right now try the brakes”"

Connor pressed very firmly on the brakes, bringing the JESA from 30 to 0 very quickly with a small squeal from the tyres.

Mandy: “Christ not that bloody hard” She said pulling her hair from her face.

Connor continued driving around the car park getting the hang of the brakes and changing gear at a higher rpm and learning the ways of non power assisted steering.


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PART 1 - 6AM-10AM

Hello and welcome to the 2020 24 hour clunker run by Trafikjournalen. Now the race is on and it seems like our own hope, Erik Carlén in the Revolve, is trying to pull out some kind of smoke show, because he seems to be either underestimating the power of the engine, or overestimating the grip, because it seems like most of the Revolve’s rear rubber is going up in smoke. Another surprise is that the Seikatsu appears to have had power enough to chirp its tyres, also the BAM, Hitomoji and Ssanvan is doing far from perfect in the start. The Harris comes away slowly after some sputtering, but the Kurokama, however, is maybe doing the worst start, since it stalls and has a hard time to start again, since it’s pulling off another smokescreen when it starts, but now from the tailpipe, we can guess that the engine was flooded for some reason. Already at Banhammerhead, the GMI is trying to overtake the JESA, which seems to have been a bad move, the GMI touches the JESA and it results in a visit in the pits to tape together the sad dangling mess that became of the front, the JESA seems to be largely unaffected by the crash though. But it might have been too early to be stubborn about coming out as a winner in that crash, because the JESA is entering Killrobs Chicane with a little bit too much speed which results in ending up on the grass, giving the Bogliq’s driver a heck of a job avoiding the skidding JESA. It seems like there is some trouble getting the GMI in the right gear when getting out of the pits, maybe the long shift linkage in the rear engined car is starting to show its age and wear. We see a puff of blue smoke coming out of the Revolve’s tailpipe, not a good sign, and we hear some grinding from the Mikadzuki when gearing down. Also, we hear some reports about the Bardot having to take it easy due to the engine running a bit hot.

Now the GMI is in its second crash in under an hour when trying to overtake the Anhultz, the rear-heavy car becomes a bit tail happy and goes sideways into the Anhultz, that seems to be pretty unaffected by the crash except for some skidding, but it seems like the GMI bent its rim and has to enter the pits one more time. The Ursula and Kurokama barely avoids the crash, after some heavy skidding, and in turn, the Puttzalong and the Alba has to maneuver to avoid the skidding cars, but manages to do it without too much of a hassle. The temperature problems with the Bardot engine seems to go on and we see some black smoke and hear some crackling and sputtering from the JESA every now and then, seems like it is running a bit rich. Also, there is reports of the brakes in the National having some fading problems, but what now? UNBELIEVABLE! The driver of the Bonhomme is losing control of the vehicle completely, ramming the Renwoo, which seems to come out of the crash with only a few dings, but the Bonhomme is a total mess, it’s obvious that it has done its last lap now, yellow flag is out and the Bonhomme is towed to the pits, RIP Bonhomme. Due to the brake fade problems in the National earlier, it was impossible to get the speed down so the National spun around when trying to avoid getting into the Renwoo-Bonhomme crash, but at least there was no contact. The Legion however, gets the speed down, only to be rammed from behind by the Mikadzuki. The Legion appears to be able to keep on running, but the fragile aluminium bodywork on the Mikadzuki has taken quite a hit and has to be straightened out in the pits since there is clearance problems for the front wheels now. The Jinsu is entering Adams Apex with kind of too much speed and almost goes off track, but it goes well this time, take it easier next time! The grinding problem on downshift in the Mikadzuki doesn’t seem to be getting any better either, rather worse.

I don’t know if there is some kind of magnet in the JESA, because next car to hit it is the Supo that is taking quite a hit and will need some quick repairs in the pits, while the JESA is about as unaffected as it was last time, a dutch-italian tank maybe? The Ursula, Puttzalong, Hitomoji and Ssanvan has to do some tricky maneuvering to avoid the crash. The GMI seems to be stuck in neutral for a while and instead of upshifting, the driver has to go back in the previous gear when he finally gets the gearstick moving again. There is reports of the Ssanvan having to take it easy due to brake fade, just like the National, and for some strange reason, the Seikatsu seems to be even slower than usual for a while, but appears to get its power back. The National is spinning out at Banhammerhead, coming in the way for the Seikatsu, Kuma, Jinsu and Tycoon, but there’s no contact at least. We hear a chirping drive belt from the Jinsu, that appears to have some problems with the charging due to the slipping belt, but it seems like stomping on the accelerator in neutral might have solved the problem, at least for now.

The FM has been running like a freight train, but now it’s spinning out at Cossacks corner, causing the Supo to swerwe. Reports from the Kiran says that there must be something dodgy with the temp sensor to the cooling fan, because it both starts and switches off at too high temperatures. The Legion has been running well but as we said earlier, one should not get too confident because now it has some problems at Adams Apex, entering with too high speed. One cylinder in the Puttzalong seems to have started misfiring once in a while, let’s hope that it is nothing serious. Also, reports from the Alba says that the dashboard seems to have some dodgy electrics because sometimes the instrumentation cuts out, other times it behaves like a pinball machine. Maybe that’s what took the concentration away because it just took a less than ideal route through Killrobs Chicane, on the other hand, the Renwoo followed the same strange route. Maneuvering a big 4x4 pickup on a track is not an easy task, which becomes clear for the driver of the Seikatsu, going straight forward at Banhammerhead into the guardrail, they seems to be thinking “better safe than sorry” since the truck is going into the pits because some strange rattling sound appeared after that. Maybe the crash distracted the drivers of the Jinsu and the National, because their route through Banhammerhead is, well…interesting to say the least. The sputtering from the Harris seems to be a continuios problem too.

The Supo is almost spinning out at Caswals Carousel causing the FM, GMI and Kiran to swerwe. The BAM seems to have some kind of fuel delivery problem in the sharp turns, and the Puttzalong still has that one cylinder cutting out every now and then. The next car to spin out is the Alba, which seems to get many cars in trouble at the same time, both the Revolve, the Ssanvan, Renwoo, Harris, National and JESA. The Bogliq coming after them is not quite as lucky, taking the same route as the Alba. The engine in the Bardot is still running at a temperature that’s on the limits and the Ssanvan brake fade problems seems to be back, even worse in the National that really seems to have to let off the gas now. The nose heavy FWD Cheval is struggling in the bends.

The Supo is also struggling a bit in the bends now, and speaking of Supo, it seems like it has a slipping clutch, let’s hope that it holds together the whole race. The dodgy shift linkage of the GMI is maybe what’s causing something that seems to be a loss of concentration, because it’s really taking some strange routes on the track now. The BAM and the Kiran also does some small skids, and speaking of the BAM, the fuel delivery doesn’t seem to be completely reliable now. The Legion has been running well so the team seems to be a bit worried about the check engine light flickering for some seconds. The Puttzalong seems to have kind of a hard time through Killrobs Chicane, and the Kurokamas aggressive approach at Caswals carousel seems to have been kind of too aggressive, and it seems like the punishment is not only the car skidding, because from the sputtering and smoke we see now, it seems like it might be running a bit rich again. Remembering the JESA having similar problems? They are back, too. And taking an offroader like a Tycoon to a racetrack can be interesting since now it’s almost tipping over but back at all 4 wheels again, but it seems like it scared the Alba, National, Renwoo and Jinsu drivers that tried to avoid getting into a mess. The Bardot is still taking it easy due to the engine running hot, and we still hear some belt chirping every once in a while from the Jinsu.

Still not reliable is the BAM fuel pump, or whatever might cause the fuel starvation in some of the bends, and we still hear some sputtering from the Harris sometimes. The Kurokama tries to overtake the Revolve but probably a little bit too aggressive, causing a skid, which in turn even causes the Revolve to spin around trying to miss the Kurokama, which means that the drivers of the Harris and the Puttzalong has to slow down. It seems like there might be some clutch slipping in the Bogliq which is not a good sign, they were known for being easy to fry. The Anhultz is going a bit too fast through some bends at the moment, just like the Jinsu.

And now, our own team in the Revolve is overtaking the Bardot at quite a high speed, when a tyre explosion happens, causing Erik Carlén to lose control over the Revolve, being hit in the side by the Bardot. There is steam coming out from the Bardot engine bay and the Revolve looks to be in quite a sad shape. Yellow flag is out and both vehicles goes into the pits, the Revolve is unfortunately the next vehicle having to end this race way too early since the rear suspension is bent completely out of shape. Team Cierzo Dynamics, however, has made it clear that they will try to solder the Bardot radiator. When the Mikadzuki wass passing the Renwoo, it was quite near that we had another crash because the Mikadzuki spun out after passing, causing even the Renwoo to spin out, getting the Hitomoji, Jesa, Tycoon and Jinsu in trouble. The Bardot is back on track but the question is if it might be out of alignment after the crash because it seems to behave a bit strange on the track, and the automatic gearbox in the Cheval seems to have its own ideas about how it should shift now.

We’re getting a report from Team Testikelpung that they found some really shoddy earlier crash repairs on the Bonhomme, which probably was the reason why it crumpled up like a beer can in the crash with the Renwoo earlier.

CURRENT STANDINGS

  1. Team Boost Foxes Customs / 1985 Kurokama SC AeroR ( @ST1Letho ) - lap 96
  2. Team Blue Team / 1988 Kuma GP-E ( @Xepy ) - lap 93
  3. Team Bavarian Racing Crew / 1976 BAM Bavaria SB620SB ( @Der_Bayer ) - lap 92
  4. Team Platshållare / 1998 Legion CrAVe Espresso ( @donutsnail ) - lap 92
  5. Team Japanese Shame / 1992 Kiran Jidosha Wagon TRS ( @Hilbert ) - lap 91
  6. Team Harcourt-Entwhistle / 2005 FM Hi-Way Outrider ( @Jaimz ) - lap 90
  7. Team Midlife Crisis / 1984 Sanfrecce Supo 1.4T ( @piglet916 ) - lap 90
  8. Team Broke Racers / 1989 Jinsu Charade ( @Edballistic ) - lap 90
  9. Team Slow Car Goog Car / 1991 Hitomoji Alteron Sport ( @GetWrekt01 ) - lap 89
  10. Team Kyung-Yeong Nostalgic / 1969 Ssanvan GT ( @Aruna ) - lap 89
  11. Team “But…stickers, Bro!” / 1982 Puttzalong GC2500 ( @stm316 ) - lap 89
  12. Team The Enforcers / 1986 National Vanguard 1000 ( @DukeOFhazards ) - lap 87
  13. Team Bakusho Racing / 1973 Mikadzuki Yuro 150 ( @KactusPantah ) - lap 87
  14. Team Project Overdrive / 1980 Ursula F7 300i ( @BannedByAndroid ) - lap 86
  15. Team “The Wild bunch” / 1975 Bogliq Bazooka ( @HighOctaneLove ) - lap 86
  16. Team RK Series Racing / 1985 Anhultz Dione C ( @Elizipeazie ) - lap 86
  17. Team Alba Racing / 1972 Alba Saline DL-40 ( @TheLapTopX20 ) - lap 85
  18. Team Cierzo Dynamics / 1987 Bardot Foudre 150T ( @Petakabras ) - lap 84
  19. Team Clapper Snapper / 1975 GMI 221 ( @LinkLuke) - lap 83
  20. Team Collapsing Sun / 1990 Tycoon Offroader ( @Ryan93 / @mat1476 ) - lap 83
  21. Team Buccaneer XA / 1980 Cheval Buccaneer ( @nicholasrams774) - lap 81
  22. Team Bakewell Boxer / 1975 J.E.S.A Bianchi Nuova 300 Series ( @Mythrin ) - lap 80
  23. Team Korsika / 1998 Renwoo Mingle ( @Mikonp7 ) - lap 79
  24. Team Seikatsu (?) / 1985 Seikatsu 10K FX ( @Tzuyu_main) - lap 79
  25. Team Knightwick Owners Club / 1959 Harris Riviera Four ( @mart1n2005 ) - lap 79
  26. Team Trafikjournalen / 1970 Revolve Manaoz ( @Knugcab ) - DNF (75 laps)
  27. Team Testikelpung / 1996 Bonhomme Redfin 2.3 SX ( @variationofvariables ) - DNF (10 laps)
17 Likes

RK Series Racing

Part 0.75: delivery successful

16 hours before race start; Schrant’s vacation rental home

Redwood had already been there for a few days, patiently awaiting delivery of both the car and Connor in his crate.
They are having a good time having beer, watching films and such, when the door bell goes.

DInnng DAnnng DOnnng

Schrant: “I’ll get that.”
Rewood: “That must be Connor!”

Both of them practically rush to the door to, somehow encounter a familiar face. Familiar to Redwood, that is.

Guy: “Yeah Hello there. Your Space-y AI thing’s here…”

Both of them get excited like children on christmas and immediately rush of´ver to the already unloaded crate in which Connor is curled up.

Guy: “Still need a signature to confirm delivery…”

Schrant hastily skribbles what vaguely is a signature onto the delivery form and geads back to the now upside-down crate, trying to figere out a way to open it.

Guy: “Sorry about it being upside-down, could not get it out of my truck otherwise…”
Schrant: “U have a crowbar or a tire iron or something?”
Guy: “Let me have a look.”

He digs around in some compartments and manages to find a stupidly large flathead screwdriver and some piping for extension.

Guy: “I found this…”
Schrant: “That should do…”

Some attempts later, the crate’s floor is torn off, Connor and clothing inside.

Schrant: [handing back borrowed tools] “Thanks. See 'ya around.”

The guy just nods, gets in his truck and drives off.

Schrant: “Why is he near-naked?”
Redwood: “His choice. Probably has to do with him only having that set of clothes…”
Schrant: “Err… okay… We’re in an enormous time-crunch as the race is gonna start soon.”
Redwood: “Well he’s still hibernating… and as far as he told me this will continue for at most 24 hours…”
Schrant: “Either way… let’s just get him seated and we’ll head off to collect the car. At least we loaded up the spare parts and camping stuff.”

The two manage to haul the still-topless Connor into the car used to haul the Dione to the race and head off.
Collecting has been rather uneventful and they immediately head off to the start line.

a few hours later

The team rolls up onto the pit area, Connor still in hibernation, and two of three members immediately head off to safety briefing, explaining Connor’s absense reasonably convincingly.
They then set up basic camp with a tent and some minor preparations like sorting tools among other things. They also set up a phone-call based connection with a bluetooth earpiece for the driver.
Then it was time to discuss a plan:

Schrant: “I’d say you start, cuz your car, me next and possibly some more changing around to account for the night…”
Redwood: “Fine by me, here we go then…”


RK Series Racing

Part 1: 6am to 10am

Redwood enters the car and the race starts. The first hour-ish is rather uneventful, until a competitor car skids into the side of the Dione.

Donk

Redwood instinctively depresses the clutch and countersteers, allowing him to save the car from completely spinning.

Redwood: “Fucking Asshole! Some rando rammed me!”
Schrant: “Car’s good?”
Redwood: “Can’t tell yet, seems fine for now. I’ll tell ya in a few laps.”

few laps later

Redwood: “Seems fine from what i can tell…”
Scharnt: “Good, keep going then. Seems just like a dented door from here.”

some two uneventful hours later

Redwood: “Yo i keep going deep into some of those corners…”
Schrant: “Err… really?”
Redwood: “Dunno if the brakes are going or if it’s just me, but… [concentration pause] …am still going deep.”
Schrant: “May be because those brake pads are not really meant for continuous racing. Try to take it a bit easier through the corners and see how they do. Also, i’ll check out the other teams and see if i recognize anyone.”
Redwood: “Will do.”

to be continued

7 Likes

13th OF JUNE 2020
THE PITS

FILIP: “You know, I thought that Erik was skilled when it came to motorsports. Then he should know that this is not drag racing. Why is he doing a burn out?”
MATS: “Ehm…you know, this is my old tyres and wheels that have been occupying the space in the garage at work for years, and when I bought them, well…I guess the tyres weren’t new back then either.”
FILIP: “Are they very old?”
MATS: “To put it this way, the name “Samyang”, does that say anything to you?”
FILIP: “Never heard of. Some cheap chinese rubber?”
MATS: “Well, not exactly, Samyang is Kumho.”
FILIP: “I thought Kumhos were OK?”
MATS: “They are… but Samyang became Kumho in…1987, I think. So they are probably 35 years old.”
FILIP: “Holy crap, do you think they will cope with this race?”
MATS: “…no…”

A while later…

FILIP: “HOLY CRAP! Are Bonhommes made of card board? Look how it folded like a piece of paper!”
MATS: “Yeah, and the Renwoo is hardly damaged at all, to put it this way, I think something is VERY wrong with that car.”
FILIP: “There is no chance that they will continue the race, just look at the front suspension, you can see the brake calipers from the front of the car FFS! Oh well, just another less competitor I guess.”
MATS: “Yeah, like we will stand any chance anyway, it seems like something is shoddy with our engine too, considering all the blue smoke, and our tyres are 35 years old. We should be happy if we finish this.”

A while later, the Revolve comes into the pits for a fuel stop.

ERIK: “This thing is GULPING fuel. Nobody has been in for refuelling yet I think, not even the Bogliq, and that damn thing has a V8!”
MATS; “Two words, Revolve Rallysport! There is a reason why the 2 barrel intakes had scrap value until the classic rallying crowd started looking for them. The fuel is practically running from the tank through the carb down into the cylinders. Why do you think everybody is building fuel injection on the yellowblocks nowadays?”
ERIK: “Sometimes Arvid is so stuck in the 60s so it becomes tragic…”

Yet a while later:
FILIP: “HOLY CRAP, LOOK WHAT IS HAPPENING!”
MATS: “Please little Bardot, don’t crash, don’t cr…”
FILIP: “It’s over.”
MATS: “It’s so over it’s not even funny anymore. If Arvid only could have listened to me, but NOOOO…”
FILIP: “Lesson learned, no more racing with tyres from the 80s”

The car arrives at the pits:

MATS: “There’s no way we can continue racing with this. Just look at the control arms! The only bananas in the world that has a Revolve parts number stamped on them.”
FILIP: “One thing is for sure, this car will do four tracks in the snow…”
MATS: “Well, at least, two years ago people laughed when I came last with my IP Pandora, but I managed to finish, how about this, even worse!”
FILIP: “No, actually slightly better. At least we ended up higher than the Bonhomme this time!”

…a silent pause…

ERIK: “I think that we should forget this for a while and see if café Erin Lomaron has something to offer, I guess that there’s some left in the thermos…”

THE END

6 Likes

Boost Foxes | Part 0.48 : Pre-Race

The panda Kurokama was still sitting on the lift, the wheels sitting on the ground next to it as the team did the final inspections before they let this lightweight powerhouse on the track
The young asian gal was sitting inside the car, setting up the electronics, completely ignoring the manual that has been placed by her, thinking that it is easy job. This decision would prove problematic to the team later, but so far it was not evident, since the ECU memory booted up correctly

“All booted up, Jan! It is ready to slide around the track!” She said excited, peeking out of the open window at the two guys working on the suspension and engine

“It should do everything but slide, the suspension should be set up for grip” The czech tightening the setting rings at the coilvers assured her

“Aw, that’s no fun, make it a bit looser- it will pay off” She pouted, sitting back in the sport seat

“Kidding me? I just did all four” He looked to her, clenching the wrench

“Please! i will show you some maneuvres if you will”

“Eh, fine- but make sure the interior is faultless meanwhile”

“Ethan?”

“The turbo is running at full boost, the exhaust does not leak anywhere”

“Good, final touches, then we starting it”


Some time later

The white menace was now sitting on the ground, with Jan tightening the wheels. The engine was quitely humming at idle, and the rallye lights were brightly shining at the garage front

Once done with the wheels, Jan called for a team briefing
“Okay guys, i will be driving first- so i can fix any problems we might have overlooked, and to slow us down the least. Akari here will go second, she can do for the most of the race, and will be able to take advantage of other cars failing. She also knows how to handle the car during busy situations”
“As third, Ethan will go and use his skills to eventually catch up or get us to lead, he can drive the fastest here”

“Agreed”

“Agreed”

“So let’s move some metal, guys” Akari offered a fist bump, and as they bumped the three fists together, the announcement to get ready sounded through the pits


4 Likes

Team Blue Team

Part 0

Before the race, in the pits…

There was still some time before the race started, and our imaginatively named ‘Blue Team’, well, at least the Peterson siblings, had just taken a stroll around the garages, a quick peek at what their opponents were running. Thomas himself felt fairly confident, but Katrina…

“You know what’s one thing I noticed? Basically every car looks to be in better condition than ours!” Katrina exclaimed as they returned to the garage.

“Look, Kat, its not a beauty contest.” Thomas replied, opening up a bottle of water. “Mechanically we’re good. Trust me”

“If you say so… “ Katrina looked over at the Kuma that her brother had brought. She had to admit the drive over was surprisingly decent - even if it was a bit stiff, and at the very least they had a sports car to compete. She then went over to Nicole. “Anyone take a peek in here while we were walking?”

Nicole looked up from her phone, brushing her brown hair out of her face and shrugged. She then yawned and went back to looking at her phone.

“Figures, its not much to look at.” Katrina sighed.

“And that’s entirely your fault, I did ask you to do the paint…” Thomas said offhandedly.

“Hey, I was busy with other projects!” Katrina defensively shot back. “Plus its your car.”

“Yeah, and I got the important parts done.”

“Okay whatever, what’s the plan?” Katrina switched topics, noticing the race was close to starting.

“Right, yeah. I’ll take the first stint. Make sure everything is running smoothly and do any adjustments or repairs needed after the car goes hard for a few hours. Though I don’t foresee anything coming up, aside maybe avoiding traffic. Or any accidents that happen.” Thomas looked at the Kuma. “But I’m pretty sure I can keep us out of any trouble.”

“Okay, and what about us?”

“Oh right. Uhh… well Nikki is going to do her thing so she can take the second, then you can take third in case she doesn’t tell me anything that went wrong as usual.”

Nicole shot Thomas a glare, who shrugged and said “You know I’m right.”

“Yeah okay. By the way Tom do you think we can race with the roof off?” Katrina then asked.

“Uhh… no?”

“Aw come on, that’ll be cool and weight reduction or something.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll ask one of the race orgs or something.” Thoma replied, with no intention of doing so.


Part 1
6AM-10AM

With just a small moment with a spinning pseudo-police car, Blue Team’s first leg was quiet, efficient, reliable - and most importantly had put them into second with a lap ahead of third.

The blue rusty Kuma GP pulled into the pits for the driver change. Nicole silently went in after Thomas exited.

“Car is running good. Honk twice if you have any issues.” Thomas said.

Nicole nodded.

“Second place eh Tom. Pretty good.” Katrina said.

“Yeah, but that Kurokama is no joke. We’re getting gapped while the others behind us are still in hitting distance - relatively speaking.” Thomas replied.

“Think we can take first?”

“20 hours to go Kat. Anything can happen.”

4 Likes

OOC:
The Kuma and the Kurokama was actually pretty close, but the Kurokama has not refuelled yet, which the Kuma had to do, and that put it back a bit. However, the fuel economy on the Kuma is much worse than the Kurokama, so it has a big drawback there that maybe can’t compensate for better driveability and reliability…

6 Likes
LAP 75

A car gets into the Cierzo Dynamics´ pits. A figure emerges from a cloud of white smoke…

Adrian- Does someone know how to fix this piece of shit!? It´s been a mess since the f***ing start, seriously, Who bought this?

Joaquin- Well, he is already dead.

[ AKWARD SILENCE] Meanwhile, the other two other members of the team decide to do something, so they open the hood

Marla- It seems like only a tube has been damaged, or at least that´s what I can see from here, but that doesn´t explain your performance, or actually lack of it, in the previous laps…

Adrian- The engine is overheating like crazy, I though these pieces of junk were reliable at least

Marla- We know the previous owner swapped the turbo for a new one, probably the extra horsepower are too much for the cooling…

While everyone was speaking, Ricardo closes the hood

Ricardo- There´s nothing duck tape can´t fix, so the car needs a gentle driver huh. Thankfully “Mr Safety in the road” is here to save you [Puts on his helmet] So, I have to avoid crashing… Is that all?

Ricardo presses the throttle and gets the Bardot into the race again

Marla- DON´T REV OVER 5000!! [She turns to the rest of the team] We have probably lost the race. And the car, too.

4 Likes

TEAM BAKEWELL BOXER

Part 0.99 : Pre Race

Previous Part


2:00 PM in Sweden at the hotel: 2 days before the race started

Johnny, Mandy and Connor have arrived in Sweden, having arranged for the JESA to be transported to the hotel the next day.

The three got out of the taxi and headed into the hotel, booked a room, with 3 separate beds and headed up the elevator.

Mandy: ‘‘There we are Room 101, sounds ominous’’ She said plipping the door card on the scanner “thank God! 3 actually separate beds this time.”

Connor: ''Best make the most of it we’re camping tomorrow and the day after that"

The three ate at the hotel’s restaurant and discussed who would drive first, they decided one Johnny driving first to have him driving at his most awake, rather than later in the day, the team took an early night to get in the groove of early waking up early for the race in two days.


Part 1 : That’s a Bit Rich

Previous Part - See Above


9:00 AM at the track

Johnny was out in the car still sore from the bollocking Mandy gave him after his off-track excursion

Johnny roared past the pit straight changing into 3rd causing a belch of black smoke to come from the exhaust.

Mandy Walkie-Talkie : ''What the hell is it doing that for!" she yelled into the device.

Johnny Walkie-Talkie: 'I dunno Mand, it started fluffing every now and then and is down on power"

A backfire POP was heard through the device

Mandy Walkie-Talkie : ''It might have been the shunt from one of the other racers jolted something in the carb!" she yelled into the device for the second time. “Try not to over labour the engine so you don’t blacken up the plugs, it’s over fuelling”

A couple minutes later the JESA came flying past the pit straights whisping black smoke out of the exhaust and belching an even larger cloud onto the front of the slip streaming Renwoo.

Mandy: “Connor where’s that bloody Haynes manual, it might be that the choke cable has slackened off and is dropping the flap shut in the carb, or the air filter has sucked something big onto the filter paper?”

Connor ran over to the bench where Mandy was stood passing her the Haynes manual, she fumbled it open to the carburettor diagram

Mandy: “See because the choke cable on Series 1’s goes through the gauge cluster it can fray over time wearing the cable down and extending it by only a centimetre”

Connor: “Right” He nodded like he had been listening.

Connor hadn’t really been concentrating, mechanics were not really his area of expertise, he had however been looking over at other teams pit lane, and noticed a very tall man walking briskly in his direction.


3 Likes

this post is in direct continuation of above post of @Mythrin

RK Series Racing

Part 1.5: “Familiar” Faces

Johnson is casually looking around from the team’s designated pit-box, noticing a freakishly tall young man vaguely approaching his team’s area. He giant does not seam to be aiming for anything in particular. Carter is focused on keeping track of the race.
Johnson coughs to grab Carters attention and gestures with his head toward the strangely tall man walking toward their pit.

Johnson: “I think he’s coming over here Mandy.”

The unknown man continues to approach at a for him leisurly pace, yet brisk for people of average height. He is casually looking around at the way other teams have set up their operations on this event. He is carring a cell phone of sorts, on which he isn’t doing anything of interest at the moment.
Carter having noticed the man observing other teams shuffles the JESA’s Haynes manual, which was open on the chapter about it’s carburettor, and turns down the volume on the walkie-talkie which was linked with her brother’s in the car.
Johnson rolled his eyes at Carters minor paranoia and continued looking nonchalantly into the pit lane, trying not to make eye contact with the approaching man.
He manages to establish eye contact successfully and the giant looks at Johnson, waving and smiling at him. He seems to be in a very good mood to Johnson.
Johnson eases up seeing the giants friendly greeting, and as said giant man approaches he greets him with a smile.

Johnson: “Alright… hey are you with them lot?”

He points to the pit about 4 lanes away noticing a car with a figure slumped in the back seat.

Johnson: “You weren’t in America were you?”

The man approaches to a point where regular talking volume is useable, then he turns around looking at the car Connor is seated in.

Schrant: “Err… i AM with them, but not American, nor have i been to the US as of yet. Why asking?”
a second of silence
Schrant: “And good morning, since we are talking now. [smiling]”

The two members of Bakewell Boxer peer up to the giant man.

Johnson: “Oh pardon me, goodmorning, you must certainly be enjoying the new days weather up there”

Carter drew in her breathe and rolled her eyes, facing away from the giant as if she were in a sitcom.

Johnson: “Oh and it’s just that WE, well more so I, have met your teammates before… in America.”
Carter: “Yes, we were in another competition sort of like this.”
Schrant: [sarcastic chuckle] “Yeah thanks… weather’s nice here… Either way, you know my newly found friends? i Knew of Redwood being an American, but him knowing people internationally is new to me.”
The phone: “Who are you talking to there??”
Schrant: [into phone] “Some other racers claiming they know you and Connor.”
Phone: “WHAAT?”
Schrant: “OTHER RACERS CLAIMING THEY KNOW US!”
Phone: “What team do they belong to?”
Schrant: “I dunno, ask them.”

Schrant is holding up his phone for Johnson to speak into.
Johnson leans forward slightly to speak into the mic.

Johnson: “Hello… yes we met in America, I gave you my phone number in the restaurant, we’re Team Bakewell Boxer.”
Phone: “Oh Hello there! … Glad you’re Here … Talk to you once done driving.”

Carter notices Connor straightening his seating position, followed by some undefined movements. He then gets out of the car, wearing only jeans and shoes while also revealing a yellow, then blue dot on his head, looks around a bit and then briskly aims at the group of three. She also notices an unusual but unexplained movement of his right arm.

Carter: [Talking to the giant man but gesturing toward Connor who was coming over at quite a pace] “Your friend over there he was in America too, is he alright?”

Carter was now noticing the lack of clothing on his top half and furrowed her brow as Connor approached.
Schrant turns around seeing Connor approaching topless and was not exactly surprised.

Schrant: “I still haven’t been to america, but he kinda is american. At least as far as i know…”

Carter catches herself staring as Connor approaches, but averts her gaze as he stands with the group.

Johnson: [Briefly looking Connor up and down] “Hey um… Connor isn’t it, we have the same name hopefully it doesn’t get too confusing.”

Johnson laughs awkwardly and holds out his hand for Connor to shake.

Connor: “Greetings, Ms. Carter and Mr. Johnson. Confusion is bound to set in at some point, given potentially identical spelling.”
Schrant: “What are you doing here?”
Connor: “I am geographically bound to Redwood instead of Captain Tonsom for the duration of our stay in sweden. And since he currently is driving, i am now here.”

Connor rejects the handshake and is looking confused.

Johnson: [Johnson pulls his hand away and puts it in his pocket] “Yes hello, geographically bound what d…”
Carter: [Clears her throat and interrupts her teammate, her eyes darting around Connor’s surrounding] “I don’t remember seeing you drive last time, you here for moral support again?”
Connor: “I did drive last time, if you are referring to the Once More event, and i do intend to drive here as well, but there might be some control issues on that front…”
Schrant: “What are you on about?”
Connor: “Not exactly sure, but i lost any and all control of my right arm from and including elbow and down.”
Schrant: [annoyed] “Really?”
Connor: “Yes… Also, is there a problem, Miss?”

Mandy blushed bright red even through her already rosy complexion courtesy of the cold breeze going of the Swedish air.

Carter: [Caught of guard] “No! Problem? No… it’s just… isn’t it a bit cold to not be wearing a shirt?”
Johnson: [Butting in] “Lost all control of your right arm! Are you alright, do you need to go to a hospital!”

Johnson was wearing a very shocked expression at the description of Connor’s arm’s mobility.

Connor: “I am sorry about that, but apparently the set of clothes i have got lost in transit. Also i appreciate you trying to help, but i doubt that a hospital would be of much use for me…”
Schrant: [confused] “Wait what? I remember Tim pulling a bundle out of the crate you came in. [Into phone] Do you know where Connor’s clothes are?”
Phone: “No. Haven’t you packed them?”
Schrant: “I thought you did?? Just keep driving, we’ll find a way…”
Connor: “It’s not cold to the degree of it being an issue, and being topless is not forbidden.”
Schrant: “Problem [finger quotes] solved…”

In the meantime, Connor is investigating his arm by holding it up using the other one, showing a white spot with what both members of the Bakewell Boxers would consider a cut in the middle.
The two teammates of Bakewell Boxer both stared at each other eyes wide.

Johnson: “The crate…”

Carter cut him off swiping her hand back an forth by her neck

Carter: “No I guess it’s not forbidden, I was just wondering whether you were…” [She looked Connor up and down] “a bit chilly.”

Carter looked at Connor examining his arm more closely.

Connor: [confused; still examining arm] “Chilly?”
Schrant: “Erm… cold.”
Connor: [now looking at Carter and Johnson, still holding on arm with the other] “No.”
Johnson: “I was bloody freezing this morning after being in that tent all night, I don’t know how you do it.”

Carter was subtly scanning over Connor, looking at his chest, neck, injured arm and finally his temple; she furrowed her brown again and thought deeply, then straightened her posture.

Carter: “Well do make sure you look after yourself anyway, even if you don’t put a shirt on.”
Schrant: “Has been a pleasure meeting you! Hope your car is doing good. See ya later, maybe. [chuckles]”
Connor: “Temperatures are not an issue if above freezing. Have a nice day then. [polite nod]”

Schrant and Connor turn around and head off for their pit box.
The two teammates turn and look at each other.

Johnson: “Why were you acting so strangely?”
Carter: “I bloody well was not! Never mind me acting strange what about that Connor guy?”
Johnson: “That’s what I was tal…”
Carter: “There’s something weirder than normal weird going on with that lot, I mean a 7ft man comes blundering over then his topless friend comes over in the freezing cold wearing jeans and a belt, and starts talking about how it’s not cold enough to cause problems, I’m gonna get to the bottom of this.”
Johnson: “Something is certainly amiss Mandy but…”
Carter: “No buts, I’m gonna solve this.”

to be continued

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smol clip:
tom: Hey, ya think we might be able to finish?
terry: nah
tom: what if we did
terry: that’d be cool
tom: ye

oh God I completely forgot about this

BIG PLACEHOLDER Because technical issues.

PART 2 10 AM - 2 PM

Both the Ssanvan and the Harris is struggling a bit with getting through Killrob’s chicane. We hear some slight misfiring from the Alba, which stops quite immediately though, and keep getting reports of dodgy electrics in the Kiran. The Bardot is really not doing well on the track now, it starts skidding in the Bavarian bend, causing the Puttzalong driver to swerve. The National keeps taking it easy due to the brake fade problem. Next car to spin out is the Kurokama, coming in the way for the GMI and the Anhultz, however without any contact. Also, we don’t know why but the Seikatsu seems unusually slow again.

The Harris is only running worse and worse, now it’s barely running at all and goes to the pits for a checkup. The BAM and the JESA takes some less than ideal routes on the track, and the Supo seems to keep having problems with a slipping clutch, and there’s some strange rattling sound going on in the Tycoon. The Harris is back on track, but instead the FM seems to be running rough after a fuel stop, maybe some contaminated fuel. The Puttzalong, however, touches the Cheval, making the Cheval spin out, meaning that the Ursula and the National has to swerve to dodge the Cheval. The Puttzalong needs some adjustments of the damaged sheetmetal in the pits. Once again, we hear grinding from the Mikadzuki gearbox, and just like we saw earlier with the National and the Ssanvan, the hard driving seems to have been a bit much for the Anhultz brakes too, meaning that it has to take it easy for a while. There is another cloud of soot coming from the rough running Kurokama’s tailpipe.

The JESA is oversteering a bit at Caswals carousel, meaning that the Harris, Alba and BAM has to slow down, we hear the Cheval automatic transmission do some really crazy shiftings, but the manual Bogliq doesn’t seem to be in any better shape considering that the clutch slippage seems to be getting worse. The Jinsu drive belt is squealing like a pig now, but what’s even worse, the Tycoon crashes into the FM causing the FM to spin around and the hood of the Tycoon to fly open, meaning that it has to be repaired in the pits to at least be good enough to close again. The FM only suffers cosmetical damage though. The Supo skids off the track when trying to avoid getting into the crash. The FM still has some hiccups after its fuel stop. For some reason, the engine in the Ursula is stalled, but manages to come to life again after a downshift, and we keep seing things like the bad bite in the National brakes and the problems with shifting the GMI. The Kurokama is skidding off the track at Caswals carousel, being in the way for the Anhultz and Seikatsu that manages to avoid the spinning Kurokama after some tricky maneuvers. Afterwards, there is huge smoke clouds coming out of the barely running Kurokamas tailpipe, meaning that the problems has to be checked up in the pits.

After the Kurokama comes the Harris, skidding off the track at almost the same place but managing to get back on track again. Some of the problems we’ve seen all the time keeps appearing, the BAM seems to be starved of fuel in the bends sometimes and the Ssanvan brakes is more than tired. The Alba is also doing a spinout, causing the JESA to crash into the guardrail while trying to dodge it. The JESA has to go to the pits for some small front end repairs, but when leaving the pits, we hear the familiar crackling popping sound and see the thick black smoke from the exhaust. The Jinsu is entering Adams apex with a little bit too much speed, and the FM is following, probably not wanting to let off the gas and let the distance to the Jinsu in front grow bigger, but it results in both of the cars having a little trouble getting around. The Bardot that has been running at a somewhat more sane temperature for a long while is now reported to run hot again, meaning that it has to take it easy, like the National has to do to not constantly overheat its brakes. The next car to arrive with too much speed at Adams Apex is the Kuma, spinning around almost crashing into the Renwoo. Even though the Kurokama is out of the pits now, it’s hardly running any better, every now and then it’s sputtering, smoking and appears to be running too rich.

I seriously don’t know what’s wrong at Adams Apex at the moment, the Bogliq is spinning out completely too, and the Kiran and Hitomoji also has troubles getting through. The Ursula seems to be stalling as soon as the driver gets off the gas. The Puttzalong does some heavy skidding at Killrobs Chicane, almost hitting the Renwoo, Seikatsu and Kuma. The intermittent rich running Kurokama engine is still coming and going.

The Harris is the next car to suffer a tyre explosion, however, with no other car coming in the way it ends better than for the Revolve, though it ends up in the guardrail, so it’s a visit in the pits for the Harris. The JESA is spinning around, the BAM manages to avoid the JESA, just to be hit by the Bogliq, causing also the BAM to spin around, with only cosmetical damage though, while the Bogliq has to go to the pits. The FM is really running bad now, as it has done every now and then after the fuel stop. While the Kuma is slowing down before a bend, it seems like there has been some overestimating of the Renwoos brake capacity, causing it to crash into the Kuma, with very bad front end damage. The Kuma is just a bit wrinkled but able to continue, but the Renwoo is very mangled up front, yellow flag is out and Renwoo is going into the pits for quite a time now. The Puttzalong and the Legion almost got into the crash too, but managed to escape. Shifting the GMI seems to be a harder and harder task all the time.

Speaking about the GMI, after a visit in the guardrail there is another crash for the team in the Harris, into the GMI, meaning another pitstop for the Harris and a heavily spinning GMI, and it’s quite busy at that section of the track at the moment, meaning that the BAM, JESA, Bogliq, Cheval and Kiran gets busy in trying to avoid crashing into the GMI. The BAM seems to have some fuel starvage problems again when trying to get away, and the Cheval transmission seems to be from another planet with it’s strange shifting. We hear reports that there still is some strange rattling going on from underneath the Tycoon, and there was some slight misfires from the Hitomoji. The Mikadzuki is having another crash in the guardrail, with its fragile aluminium bodywork needing some straightening out again, it’s probably as soft as a paper tissue by now. The Puttzalong, Kuma and Anhultz is not showing from their best side now, losing some time by taking some not so well-planned routes, while the Seikatsu seems to be losing power again.

The Harris is sputtering again, but all of a sudden regaining power, causing it to spin. The Ssanvan, Alba and JESA manages to avoid it, though it ends up in the guardrail for the Bogliq, meaning yet another trip to the pits. When coming out of the pits, we hear some worrying clutch slippage again. Once again, the Tycoon is almost flipping over, taking a turn with too much speed, the Mikadzuki, National and Jinsu almost spins out when trying to avoid it, which in turn also causes problems for the Kiran, GMI and Kuma. Downshifting the Mikadzuki doesn’t seem to be an easy task, the grinding is getting worse and worse.

CURRENT STANDINGS:

  1. Team Boost Foxes Customs / 1985 Kurokama SC AeroR ( @ST1Letho ) - lap 189
  2. Team Blue Team / 1988 Kuma GP-E ( @Xepy ) - lap 187
  3. Team Bavarian Racing Crew / 1976 BAM Bavaria SB620BRC ( @Der_Bayer ) - lap 184
  4. Team Platshållare / 1998 Legion CrAVe Espresso ( @donutsnail ) - lap 183
  5. Team Midlife Crisis / 1984 Sanfrecce Supo 1.4T ( @piglet916 ) - lap 182
  6. Team Japanese Shame / 1992 Kiran Jidosha Wagon TRS ( @Hilbert ) - lap 180
  7. Team Broke Racers / 1989 Jinsu Charade ( @Edballistic ) - lap 180
  8. Team Harcourt-Entwhistle / 2005 FM Hi-Way Outrider ( @Jaimz ) - lap 179
  9. Team Kyung-Yeong Nostalgic / 1969 Ssanvan GT ( @Aruna ) - lap 178
  10. Team “But…stickers, Bro!” / 1982 Puttzalong GC2500 ( @stm316 ) - lap 177
  11. Team Slow Car Goog Car / 1991 Hitomoji Alteron Sport ( @GetWrekt01 ) - lap 176
  12. Team Bakusho Racing / 1973 Mikadzuki Yuro 150 ( @KactusPantah ) - lap 175
  13. Team The Enforcers / 1986 National Vanguard 1000 ( @DukeOFhazards ) - lap 174
  14. Team Project Overdrive / 1980 Ursula F7 300i ( @BannedByAndroid ) - lap 173
  15. Team Cierzo Dynamics / 1987 Bardot Foudre 150T ( @Petakabras ) - lap 172
  16. Team Alba Racing / 1972 Alba Saline DL-40 ( @TheLapTopX20 ) - lap 170
  17. Team RK Series Racing / 1985 Anhultz Dione C ( @Elizipeazie ) - lap 170
  18. Team “The Wild bunch” / 1975 Bogliq Bazooka ( @HighOctaneLove ) - lap 169
  19. Team Clapper Snapper / 1975 GMI 221 ( @LinkLuke) - lap 169
  20. Team Buccaneer XA / 1980 Cheval Buccaneer ( @nicholasrams774) - lap 163
  21. Team Collapsing Sun / 1990 Tycoon Offroader ( @Ryan93 / @mat1476 ) - lap 163
  22. Team Seikatsu (?) / 1985 Seikatsu 10K FX ( @Tzuyu_main) - lap 161
  23. Team Bakewell Boxer / 1975 J.E.S.A Bianchi Nuova 300 Series ( @Mythrin ) - lap 158
  24. Team Korsika / 1998 Renwoo Mingle ( @Mikonp7 ) - lap 155
  25. Team Knightwick Owners Club / 1959 Harris Riviera Four ( @mart1n2005 ) - lap 152
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OOC: Ah yes, the one time I spit out a reliable piece of shit, RNG decides to slowly and collectively fuck me over. I love RNG yes

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