There’s quite a bit to go through already. I may not be able to address it all.
@Awildgermanappears: Skywarp Turbo II seems like the car for fairly serious enthusiasts (and plain nutjobs), but not so much douche as the default LV which looks like a ricer’s dream. I’d put it along the same lines of the kind of JDM car that people love to turbo, badge up, chop it and drop it and put all kinds of bodykits on, then take it street drifting yo. That’s at least an 8, by the time we hit 2016.
@titleguy1: Rennen’s a company that builds luxury sports cars, for those who appreciate sports cars, but not as exorbitantly priced as Mercedes. I agree with the sentiment of respect, given its focus, but in a sense the whole sports car lineup thing actually reminds me slightly of BMW. But I hesitate to call drivers of Rennen as douchey as BMW That said, if you’re competing with Audi, BMW and Mercedes, the douche is pretty damn strong with you, even if you’re a less douchey version of all the above.
@rcracer11m: I find it hard to judge cars solely from the 40s, as I have no knowledge of the market from that time. But that seems like a focus on cheap performance would bring all the boys (and the douche) to the yard
@koolkei: I don’t actually think a magnesium block makes for douche, but it sure is a bit of a quirky engineering choice. It has potential for some modding, so the score would actually depend on the nature of the mods and the popularity. I actually hesitate to automatically attribute points to popular mod cars, because sometimes it doesn’t make the car any worse or harder to tolerate on the road e.g. I’m just not sure how douche a well-balanced turbo on your Miata is.
@BobLoblaw: Good lord the Montauk RTX Aero looks like a douche magnet. The restoration factor could go either way, just like the argument in the original thread.
@findRED19: the AEA Orela is just begging to be boosted with such an anaemic engine! It’d be pretty much mandatory.
Oof, the smug performance driver, the worst of many worlds. Which is a shame because, you know, it’s eco!
Okay, I’m throwing my company into the ring. I’m pretty sure everybody I’m bringing up here scores an automatic 10, and it won’t change, because these cars are not significantly modifiable.
Gryphon Gear
Suspiciously advanced hypercar and race build outfit that stops at literally nothing to make the fastest cars at all costs. It’s a great fantasy but comes at a significant price: hardly anybody can afford the things they build, which is a big douche factor in itself. Given the very ethos of the company is “our cars go faster than yours”, you could say it lends itself to the ultimate in douchebaggery, as it invites just as much those who can drive fast, as those who think they can, all of them having a lot of money to throw around, and punches them in the crotch while saying “fuck you, you can’t handle all of this”.
Just as GG looked to be growing up with a more proper business model and a vision to open up their production line so their advanced tech could be more available to more people with a lower (but still high) budget, they also invested seriously in making their user-friendly cars ultra economical. Perhaps the fact they are attempting to advance the revival of the local manufacturing sector mitigates the extra doucheness this might bring: “I’m faster than you AND use less fuel than you do”. Nnnnnnnnngh!
Nightfury:
Paint job fully optional
The premise: Somebody managed to craft an obnoxiously large mag block. How fast can we make it go?
How Douche: Mega Douche
Why Douche: This is GG in its early days, with single minded purpose to brute force their way onto the scene with a big Fuck You to everybody and no regard for anything else. The result was a front-engined, AWD racing car with as much downforce as an F1 car and more power than was ever featured in any ratified road racing code outside of drag. It was like the Audi Quattro Group B Rally extrapolated to the modern era. That’s fine if you’re creating a racing prototype, but GG lost the plot in the buzz that followed and attempted to release some road-legal versions. Needless to say it didn’t take off, especially with a minimum fuel consumption of 32L/100km, bodywork so intricate that it was impossible to repair without sending it back to the factory and an undertray so close to the ground drivers had to completely avoid any road with bumps in it, or driveways. Also it was bloody loud. Only six were ever made, even if they’re technically road legal they’re still practically trailer queens, and you’ll only ever see them at hillclimb events and Goodwood Festival of Speed.
Mephisto:
The premise: TUBROOOOO MOTHERFUCKER
How Douche: Too Douche
Why Douche: It has the same base drivetrain as Nightfury. It’s red. If I get my way with the completed game it’ll have a ludicrously big quad turbo V16 in it JUST BECAUSE. It’s an obnoxiously loudly styled fastback coupe. The rollcage is so inconveniently placed you have to fold yourself in unnatural ways to worm over the crossbars. It has about 1000bhp more than you could conceivably think to do with, ensuring that it accelerates from 0-100 in the same time as it does from 100-200 and 200-300. It costs more money than most people would earn in a lifetime, especially when you consider maintenance, fuel and tyres.
You would have to be an idiot and a sucker for punishment to want to own this for regular use. Even our test driver, as much as he loves this car, isn’t capable of using it on a regular basis, and he didn’t even buy it, he was gifted model number 01 by the company for his work in getting the racing team off the ground.
Mercury:
Premise: If you can’t make the 2hp per kg prototype street legal, at least get the production version to 500km/h.
How Douche: The Douchest.
Why Douche: As a realisation of the ultimate state of the art of racing just about everything, it is so prohibitively rare and expensive that the only buyers were the winners of a bidding war between children of oil barons from the UAE, and the children of obscenely rich CCCP-approved magnates from the PRC. Successful buyers already own the likes of the Agera One:1, Veneno, FXXK, P1-GTR etc. etc. It also chugs more fuel than a Lambo, as it needs to when capable of developing over 2000hp at 8000rpm.
Has a drivability score of 1. What this means is that the people capable of buying it would need to hire people capable of driving it. Which basically means that while it was created as an engineering triumph, it ended up being essentially penis compensation for people with too much money and a death trap.
Fast forward to a couple of years from now:
Ouroboros:
Premise: Keep up with the hypercars for half the fuel and a quarter of the price!
How Douche: Uncertain amounts of douche.
Why Douche: Does having hypercar performance for less and being more environmentally friendly smell of smugness just waiting to irritate enthusiasts, or is it doing the world of performance a service? If you can do without luxuries and premium comforts and don’t mind your cabin being quite spartan/utilitarian, you could have yourself a Porsche 918 for the price of a Porsche Carerra 911. Game changer or arrogant upstart?