2016 Fruinia to Archana - Krongrad or Bust! (ON HOLD)

[Rudzis]

Part 2: Pimp My Shitbox

Finland, Turku, In supermarkets parking lot.

Lauri: You go get some outdoor thing like tents, mats to sleep on, just see what you find. I will look for car parts and stuff.
Valtteri: Why do I have to do the boring stuff?
L: Because you will buy useless stuff for the car, like you did with your moped and car.
V: They were not useless. They looked cool.
L: No they didn’t and probably slowed you down because of the weight. So after an hour let’s meet back at the car?
V: Ok
(After an hour and 15 minutes)
V: (Loading his shopping in to the back of the Rautio) Where is he? (His phone starts ringing, it’s Lauri)
V: Where are you?
L: Drive it closer to the enterance, I have a lot of shit to carry.
V: Yeah, coming.
(Starts the Rautio and drives closer to the front door of supermarket)
L: Open the hatch!
V: On my way
L: (Starts unloading things he bought) Wow I am impressed by you, no unnecessary crap.
V: Yeah I ran out of money.
V: Is that a performance intake? And you said I was the moron.
L: Less air restriction means better fuel economy, and it wouldn’t hurt to get a bit more performance out of this engine.
L: Let’s see how big the refrigerator is you bought. (opens the portable refrigerator and sees that it’s full of beer) Now I know why you run out of money.
V: It’s essential, and you are gonna need it too, after those long days of upgrading the car.
L: I am not complaining.
V: So let’s go straight to your dads garage?
L: Yeah, doubt he will be happy, but we have no options.

(So they cued the music and set to work)

[AndiD]

Team Ecowareness (2)

Click for Part 1

“Found one! Actually quite nearby, even”, Olga Simkinova announced. She sat in the EnviroActive student club space at the University of Terso, in front of her open laptop.

Martin Krebs slowly got up from a nearby sofa and looked at her screen. “That’s it?”, he muttered, and looked around for Laura Insigne who - he could swear - had been in the space with them just a couple of minutes before.

Olga’s laptop showed a used car ad for a 2003 Mara Zorya in seemingly good condition, and for a quite reasonable price, given the cars age and ‘desirability’. “Raicanta”, Martin read. “That’s… east of Terso?”

“Si!” Laura had materialised next to Martin and Olga. “That’d be our ride?”, she asked.

“If we can afford it…”, Olga pointed towards the modest sum the private seller wanted.

Laura nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, we can use student club funds for this, I cleared it with the other club leaders. We’ll get great public awareness out of this, maybe even discover some environmental disasters along the way, and we can sell the thing again afterwards, right?”

On a whim, Laura looked at her phone and shrieked. “Yes! And sponsorship has come through, so we do not even have to do this all on student club funds! I had asked the Bank of Fruinia for some support since they seem to have embraced green investing, responsible banking et cetera recently, and it looks like they loved the idea! It’s not much, but it helps.”

“Nice!”, Olga exclaimed. “Do they want us to do something specifically?”

Laura shook her head. “Only a banner and such on my blog site. So you two can go check out the car. If it’s as nice and clean as it looks, we’ll take it. I’ll sort out payment, the blog and social media setup and a few other things until then.”

“What else should we prepare for the rally?” Martin asked.

Laura shrugged. “I thought it’s just going to be like an extended camping trip, like we do with the student club from time to time. We have the equipment all here, as you know. Would we need anything else?”

Olga and Martin exchanged glances. “Perhaps, yes”, Olga replied. “We’ll make a list.”

Martin silently recalled some of his hiking adventures in the Hetvesian mountains near his hometown and wondered whether city kid Laura fully appreciated what she had gotten them into…

And stay tuned for the final car in part 3…

---

So, TL;DR, this is the team (all images AI-generated, courtesy of https://thispersondoesnotexist.com):

Laura Insigne (22) from Terso, Fruinia. Student of History and Communications at the University of Terso. One of the student leaders of the EnviroActive Student Club.
Roles: Blogger, Mastermind

Martin Krebs (25) from Unter-Altdorf, Hetvesia. Student of Ecology and Conservation at the Unversity of Terso. Member of the EnviroActive Student Club.
Roles: Navigator, Relief driver, Logistics

Olga Simkinova (23) from a small farm near Yelta, Archana. Student of Environmental Engineering at the University of Terso. Member of the EnviroActive Student Club.
Roles: Driver, Mechanic, Local (Archana)

[Rudzis]

Part 3: A lucky encounter

Finland, Valpperi, Lauri’s dads garage
After 2 weeks of preparing the car is almost done

Valtteri: Janne just texted, our offroad stuff has arrived. (Janne: their friend working at the port)
Lauri: Ok let’s take my dads Schwarzburg Kursor. Let me get the keys.
(After the 40 minute drive, they arrive in Turku port)
V: There park by the container where Janne is standing.
L: (Parks and turns off the engine)
L: Hey
Janne: Yo
V: So open up the container, Lets see what the Germans sent us.
Janne: It’s in this crate (He steps aside and opens the crate with a crowbar)
L: The tool boxes look sturdy. (Turns to Valtteri) Come on let’s get the crate loaded in the van, will check it out at the garage.
L: (Gives money to Janne) Here you go, thanks again for the discount.
Janne: (Counting money) I will write of the 5€ you are missing on a beer in the bar.
L: Sorry we are tight on money now, because of the rally, so we will buy you a round of beer when we come back.
V: Let’s go we have to get to the store, for supplies.
L: Again thanks Janne (Shakes hands) see ya.
Janne: Good luck with the shitbox of yours.
L: let’s hope.
(They exit the industrial part of the port and drive past the passenger terminal. When Valtteri sees a girl with a folded out map)
V: Slow down! (opens window)
V: Terve tarvitsetko apua ohjeissa? (Hello need help with directions?)
Girl: (Looks over the map) Ssorry I don’t speak finnisch
L: He sed if yu need help wit directions.
Girl: Ooh thanks, I am just heading to de zupermarket.
V: Yu ar luky we are just heding to de sUpermarket, if yu vant we can take yu there.
Girl: My mama said to not get in to schtranger vans.
V: Do wee lok like pedos?
Girl: Akschualli you lok like virgins
V: (turns to Lauri) Näytänkö todella neitsyeltä (do I really look like a virgin)
L: Joo
Girl: Sorry?!
V: Noting, so yu ar not going vit us?
Girl: Ahhh why not, you don’t siim like that kind of peeple. (opens the side door of the van and gets in with her backpack and a suitcase) By de wey I am Martha, I come from Germany.
V: Nice to meeet yu, I am Valtteri and dis is Lauri.
L: Hey!
V: So vat brrings yu to Finnland?
Martha: I just finisched my studies, and wanted to trravel throu Europe.
L: Interesting ve too are prepairing to go on a trip.
Martha: Kool, where to?
L: From Fruinia to Archana, It’s a chariti ralli.
V: Actualli ve neeed someone who is good wit maps. And it looks like yu know how to use dem.
Martha: Soundz interesting. I guess I will have to extend my trip den.
L: Yu rrealy want to go?
Martha: Yeah why not, will expand my horazons. And I really like to praticipate in charitys.
V: Wow this alll is hapening so spontanios.
L: Just like it startid, spontanios over a beer, it continues spontanios.

(After they went to the supermarket they exchanged phone numbers and Martha stayed at a hotel, but promised to go to the garage tomorrow, to help with painting and upgraiding the car)

[lotto77]

Many plays of “The best of The Screaming Jets”, many VB Long necks, and MANY smokos later…

Team Good Things

---

Part two: the car, again

There will be bogans, you have been warned.

---

Now watching: WE'RE MAKING A RALLY CAR PT 2: FINISHED!!!

24 views

B: "G'day again, we've finally finished kitting out our little shitbox cross country monster, and today we're gonna give yous a full fuckin' tour of the thing, so without further ado, here's Macca to give you the details!"

M: “Yeah cheers mate, here’s the fuckin’ beaut herself!”

M: “Done up like a proper charity basher, this little cutie has all you could ever need to go right fuckin’ cross country. Bullbars, rock sliders, spotties, a roof rack full of shit, and the obligatory lights and sirens so we can be as obnoxious as fuckin’ possible. Some chucklefuck put a stupid fuckin’ sticker on the lights, but it’s funny enough that I let it slide.”

M: “In the boot we have a lot of the essentials, jerrycans, gas, a stove, a bucket, and a tent. This shit is mainly for us, because there’s no fuckin’ way we’re sleeping in the car unless absolutely necessary, but the fuel is also going here for weight distribution and to protect it from the elements. There’s also still spare room in here for food, drinks, and the slabs of beer we’re not telling the organisers about”

M: “On the roof we’ve got the bulkier necessities, a couple of Maxtraxs to unfuck any fucked situation we manage to get bogged in, two smaller jerrycans for water, some spare tyres and wheels, and a big fuckoff awning to make stops more bearable. There’s still a fair fuckin’ bit of room so we can cart around any spares we pick up on the way, too.”

M: “Up front is my finest fuckin’ work, a fully fuckin’ custom bullbar and a fully fuckin’ custom snorkel, because funnily enough nobody makes them this bloody microscopic. There’s also a skidplate made of quality sheetmetal, spotties expertly blended in to the body courtesy of old mate here,”

B: “No worries mate!”

M: “And there’s also some tow hooks, properly fuckin’ mounted to the chassis, unlike what I’ve seen those poms on Top Gear do. Mechanically we’ve barely touched it outside of a better 4 speed transmission out of a later model and as much of a lift as these things can reasonably take. The engine’s still pissweak, but it’s proper fuckin’ quality Aussie iron so it’ll outlast any pommie shit, any seppo shit, any euro shit, and especially any-”

(A/N: that’s code for whoops I forgot to mod the engine before submitting oh well PuRiTy time)

B: “OI OI OI, Macca you fuckin’ drongo! We’ve told you, don’t fuckin’ go on those rants, you go too far!”

M: “Yeah nah sorry mate, got a bit carried away there, won’t happen again. Anyway yeah nah, it’s a pretty well put together little engine and can easily be repaired on the road, we’re all experienced in bush mechanics so we can throw together some bodge job fix.”

D: “Other than that, we’ve done pretty much fuckall, mainly just paint, some better lights for me and some other small quality of life improvements, the real question is how does it fuckin’ drive?”

B: "It’s still fuckin’ gutless! Even a bit more than before, since the fucker gained nearly 30kg dry weight, but it can tackle lumpy roads like a fuckin’ champ, and the spotties make it light up the bush in front of you like nothing else!

B: “Anyway, that’s it for today, I need a fuckin’ durrie, and we need to figure out how to get this thing over to Fruinia. See yous all in the race!”

[Rudzis]

Part 4: The Finnishing touches (and team reveal)

Finland, Valpperi, Lauri’s dads garage
Martha is at the garage and helping the boys with the paintjob, and team name ideas

L: Paska it just hit me dat we don’t hav a seat for Martha. I will run to de scrayard, see vat dey hav.
V: Ok, ve will finish painting it.
M: And tink of a name.
(Lauri jumps in the Schwarzburg Kompas and heads out)
V: So vat studies did yu finiss?
M: I finisched profeschional school as a cook.
V: So yu ar good wit maps and cuuking.
M: Basic Cooking.
V: That’s good too.

(Meanwhile at the scrapyard)

(Lauri finds a seat from a minivan, locking dif from a off roader, a baffled muffler, short cast intake, radio and sheet metal for the rust. He gets back in the van and heads back)

L: (pulls up on the driveway and starts unloading his findings from the scrapyard) Hanki kulmahiomakone, tarvitsemme ikkunoita (get the angle grinder, we need some windows)
V: Okei

(After two days the car is finally finished)

The Team FinGer Airway

(faces generated by https://generated.photos/face-generator)

, (Valpperi) Valtteri Heikki (23) Driver, simple mechanics: Started driving cars and mopeds as soon as he could see over the wheel. Has started in some local rallies, although with not much success. Has limited mechanical knowledge from ‘‘modifying’’ his moped and car.

, (Valpperi) Lauri Seppanen (22) Mechanic, reserve driver: Started working on cars from a young age, in his dads garage. Finished professional school in mechatronics and before heading to university he want’s to have a trip to remember.

, (Heidelberg) Krista Martha Kahnwald (21) Navigator, cook: Finished professional school as a cook. Wanted to have time off after studying and decided to travel trough Europe. She has rich parents who sponsored her trip trough EU. Decided to spice up her travels and join the boys on their journey.

The car
Before:

After:

Upgrades:

• Self welded roof rack
• 4x Hard long life tires
• 2x Tires and rims from the original car
• 2x gasoline cans
• 2x instrument boxes
• 2x fire extinguishers
• 2x recovery tracks
• Storage box
• Tent and 3x self inflatable matrasses
• Portable refrigerator
• CD radio
• Skidplate, bullbar, sheet metal for the rust spots
• Extra lights, snorkel, mud guards
• Engine: Performance intake, short cast intake, baffled muffler.
• Extra seat from minivan
• Self cut windows

[AndiD]

Team Ecowareness (3)

To the previous part

The University of Terso parking lot was almost completely empty as usual on a Saturday morning. Olga Simkinova therefore could park the team’s newly acquired 2003 Mara Zorya 1.1 L in a corner right next to the entrance closest to the EnviroActive student club.

Martin Krebs was already waiting outside with a jerry can he had borrowed from a friend. “So this is it?”, he stated, matter of factly.

“Yes!” Olga jumped out of the car, quite proud of their acquisition. “Seems to be in decent shape, no weird noises, except for the usual squeaks and rattles. It’s a Mara, they do that. But… I am no car expert, so who knows?” She pointed to the Zorya’s hood, for no particular reason.

Three rings of a bicycle bell heralded Laura Insigne’s arrival. ‘Five minutes after nine is quite punctual for her’, Martin thought, but did not say anything out loud. He also did not need to look at his watch to know the exact time.

“Hi!”, Laura shouted, to Olga and Martin, but also to the car, in a sense. Her initial expression was best described as ‘somewhat surprised’. “It did not look that small in the ads… can we actually fit everything we need?”, she wondered aloud, picturing the camping gear that she knew the student club had in store.

“No!” Olga stated. “But that’s why I’m meeting a friend in the uni engineering workshop. We will put everything else on the roof!”

Martin skeptically eyed the flimsy aftermarket roof rack that their car seemed to have for some reason.

“Trust me!”, Olga said and waved. “I’ll be back in a bit. You two see how much you can fit inside it…”

In the meantime, Laura had opened her bag, taken out the stickers she had prepared, including the logo she had developed for Team Ecowareness (which is not at all the Fruinia roundel), and started placing the stickers on the car…

The starting numbers and other stickers were just the first stage of the Zorya’s transformation

When Olga returned a good while later she balanced a box-like welded metal mesh contraption over her head. On her approach she also discovered that Laura and Martin had been busy assembling camping and other gear. The Zorya’s passenger and rear door were open and the two were running around frantically finding out how to best use the available space most efficiently.

She also could already hear Laura shouting from the distance. “Martin, I am small, but not that small. I’ll be doing lots of working and typing in the rear seat, so I need at least some elbow room! This box needs to go on to the roof!”

“But we can’t put everything… what’s that?” Martin had noticed the approaching Olga.

Without a reply, Olga walked up to the Zorya and tried to place the metal contraption she had brought with her on the Zorya’s roof racks. It took a bit of an collective effort, but after a short while they made it fit securely in place. Afterwards, it did not take them too long to arrange the remaining gear and the jerry can on the makeshift roof box and fasten them.

Another thought occurred to Martin as they were admiring their day’s work. “It may be too late to ask, but should we also do something to the car itself for the route? To make it more off-roadworthy… if that’s a word?”

Olga made a dismissive gesture. “That’s the great thing about these Maras. They are all built and tested for the worst Archanan roads. And there are no worse roads in the world!” She almost seemed to say it with pride.

Martin did not seem convinced but did not say anything further.

After a few seconds Olga added: “I can go check out the junkyard to find another spare tyre maybe? We still have a bit of space on the roof.”

Laura meanwhile was taking great care to place a final sticker on the rear window…

Team Ecowareness on their way home, ready for their drive to the starting line

[Fayeding_Spray]

Team 722

---

Day -X

“Yep, dad, I get it, it’s a stupid idea.”
“No, I trust they got something that won’t kill us”
“I mean, I guess, I just hope it has a roll cage or something”
“Uh… Yeah no I still haven’t seen it, I don’t actually know what they bought. I was away doing some testing…”
“Oh, yeah my taxi is here, I’ll send through some photos when I see the car.”
“Love you too, dad.”

---

Around about 12:30pm

The taxi dropped Zoey at the address Laura had given her. It was a rather small workshop on the outskirts of Marena, which definitely has seen some better days. Undeterred by the state of the workshop, she gave a quick rap on the garage door, and barely a moment later, it slowly begins to rise. As it opens, there is a vaguely car-like shape under covers. Before Zoey can even register the rest of the interior she feels a solid impact from her left, as Laura basically tackles her.
“You finally made it! How was the flight? Was the taxi expensive? Did the test go well? Did you get-”
“I’m fine Laura! It’s only been a week. Let me answer questions first, god.” Zoey frees herself from Laura’s grip, finally taking in the small workshop’s interior. She approaches the covered car, trying to make some sense of the odd shape.
“I told Isha we would wait until she gets back before showing you the car. I will say, it’s not a hatchback like you wanted. Isha was, uh, convinced a hatchback would kick the bucket before you can say anything,” Laura says from the entryway of the Workshop, “We actually did most of the work before we left, just some final engine tweaking, from what Isha has said anyway.”

---

An hour Later

The sound of approaching footsteps and whistling snap Zoey and Laura back to reality, as they pull themselves off the couch, before the small form of Isha slips through the Workshop door.
“Oh fuck, Zoey, hey,” Isha snaps a quick glare towards Laura, “L was meant to text me when you arrived, so I wouldn’t be wasting time.”
They give a quick hug, before Zoey turns her attention towards the covered automobile.
“What kinda beast do we have to romp around in, Isha?” Zoey quips as she approaches.
“Well, I know you wanted like a sporty turbo hatch, but there was a few problems. The first was budget. Couldn’t crest 15, and everything you wanted was 20 up. Also, engine. Stuff you wanted was 1.6 and up. This event said 1.2 and under. So, I threw all your wants out the window, and instead…” Laura and Isha pull back the cover over the car, revealing the strangely designed EAAC Hermes.
“What in the fuck…” Zoey moves around the car, taking in the very strange sight she has been presented with, “Why are there tyres coming out of the bonnet?”
“That, my friend, is because this is an Erebus American Automobile Company Hermes. Produced from 1967 to 1970. Rear engine. What I wanted, was the proper full on American spec one, with the flat six, but that… That was too big an engine. So, Laura found a… Well I think it was a Mexican spec one. Came with a 1.2 Inline 3.”
“Isha… We’re gonna fucking die.” There is an uncharacteristic look of dread on Zoey’s face, “You expect me to drive over 10 thousand miles in that. 1.2 from the late 60s… It’s gotta have no power.”
“Fourty” Laura chimes in.
“FOURTY‽” The look of dread on Zoey’s face increases.

---

[interior]

Cant wait for this challenge

[voiddoesnotknow]

PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT!

due to me not really being able to do writeups right now, the deadline has been extended by two weeks. please take this time to make any necessary adjustments or submit your entry.

thank you, and see you in two weeks.

[Edsel]

Just to clarify, is that 2 weeks from the original deadline (Jan. 1), or from the date of this notice?

[voiddoesnotknow]

from the date of this notice, making the new deadline Jan. 22 (UK time)

[interior]

Am i able to submit a entirely different car with the same team etc.

[voiddoesnotknow]

have you already submitted?

[interior]

Yes. On a 2.6M body technically listed as a 2.5 specifically, but shows as a 2.6 on the main body selector

[voiddoesnotknow]

uhh… if you want? the original car wouldn’t be counted as entered though

[interior]

Part 3

The car needed to be reconsidered due to a, uh fault …

Seconds Before Disaster

Matt was driving the car for a test drive until the car’s gearbox slipped and he crashed into a tree, wrecking the car in the process
John: You moron! How did it break?
Matt: The gearbox slipped, couldnt use it and we spun out into the tree
John: God damnit, New car time.
A few days later after scoring Gabeslist and the major auto resellers
Matt: Alright, we got the new car, this fine beauty right 'ere. He sighs and slaps the hood of a Schnell L20 SL Without an engine for the lowly price of 500 quid.
John: You got a car with no engine
Matt: No engine, works fine. Aslong as we can fit our engine we got, buy a radiator. All good and golden mate.
John: I guess, that’s how it is. Fucking hell, shit gearboxes.
Matt: Maybe cause nobody makes em for what are mostly motorcycle engines?
John: anyway. lets get to work salvaging what we can use that isnt bent up.
They get to work on welding a roof rack that can store their cargo without a strap and no falling off required, Matt installs the lightbar, then the grille lights.
Matt: These were rally cars back in the day. Probably did good in their time.

Jess wakes up on the couch after staying up late night
Jess: Why’s there a new car here?
Matt: Oh, i spun out the last one.
John: It’s not even the manual model, i realised, it’s the shitspec 3-speed Automatic model.
Matt: It’s fine, if the gearbox breaks down the road, We can get a 5-speed manual that also came with the car, or the 4 speed version
Jess: The amount of rust, it looks more like someone left the car for years on a driveway and never maintained it.

A few days pass and the car has its mods on, pressure washer broke however so they were unable to clean it.

The cheap turbo decided to break so they go naturally aspirated, revealing the 65 horsepower. You read that right, 65. They take a spin in the car.

End of Part 3

[Madrias]

65 horsepower, that’s not bad. I’ve got a touch over 61. (And yes, that is with a turbocharger. That’s thanks to the engine being a pushrod block, because it’s a Bricksley. And it’s carburetted, because cheap crappy car.)

[Madrias]

So, would anyone be upset if I did another “in the parking lot” post with several of the cars being mentioned? I’ve got a few ideas rolling around in my head, and a couple of them involve trading some alcohol for some beer with the Australians of Team Good Things @lotto77 and possibly with Team Hillbilly Rollers @Knugcab if they’re okay with the idea of 190-proof lemon-derived alcohol smuggled in a clean gas can.

However, I’ve mentioned several cars by number and placed them arbitrarily in groupings near one another, and because they haven’t been placed in the parking lot, so to speak, by their respective owners, I’m asking everyone if they’re okay with being loosely mentioned, even if it’s in number alone. I’m sure some cars were missed in my writing up of the idea that came to mind, but that’s more because I probably missed them than anything else.

Normally, I’d just post it and run with it, but as this involves other teams who haven’t yet arrived at the check in point, I’d rather not be a bad sport and move cars and, by extension, teams that don’t belong to me.

[Knugcab]

Yes, I gladly participate if you (or anyone else) wants to run RP with me, that’s what’s most fun about challenges like this.

[lotto77]

Same, bouncing off each other is half the fun with this sort of thing.