Okay, that was worth the wait. Glad you could make it into the Rally, we needed more weirdness in here!
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Mel - Driver + Mechanic
/// Age: 25 (DOB: 1996 August)
/// Height: 1.70 m
/// Nationality: 
/// Ethnicity: White
/// Affiliation: Australian Security Intelligence Organisation
/// Deadlift 1RM: 180 kg
/// Cars: 1963 Aisling Bulldog 1.3 RS || 1973 Seraphin Pike RF || 1986 Overland Bushmaster 23 SE 3000TDi Canvas Top || 2011 Diomedes Valkyrie GTS || 2019 Hamura Acolyte RHI
Melanie Lyon (Mel) was born in Adelaide to an aircraft mechanic-turned-Supercars Championship driver and primary school teacher. Throughout her childhood, she quickly cultivated a passion for motorsport and cars as a whole by helping her father with various projects around the house and automotive maintenance; however, after a grisly accident during a practice run that left her father in the hospital for some months, she had second thoughts on becoming a driver for a V8 Supercars team. From her mother, she also felt that she would have a purpose in serving her community, although going into teaching, research, or any other specialized echelon of academia wasn’t her forte. Graduating at the age of 21 with a degree in computer science, she was offered an internship at the Australian Security Intelligence Organisation, and after some months started working full time for them as an intelligence officer.
For her first two years, Mel only had domestic assignments and frequently rotated between Canberra, Melbourne, and Sydney. As her duties were mostly concerned with national security threat assessment, prevention, and intelligence collection and evaluation, she did not initially do much criminal investigation or perform many search warrants, if at all. She loved her job, but at times lamented over the fact that she couldn’t directly witness the fruits of her efforts.
But as the months passed and as she started receiving international assignments and more responsibilities, Mel found that her intelligence-related activities were gradually being interwoven with her growing involvement in investigating criminal activities, typically organized crime. It was a far cry from what she was used to and a steep learning curve followed, as she now had to actually carry out arrests and occasionally track down high-priority criminals at large, but what mattered the most to her was a newfound sense of fulfillment that came from her new duties. Instead of just working from the comfort of an air-conditioned, naturally-lit cubicle, she could now operate directly in the field and directly experience the positive impact of her actions on the community as well. Perhaps she had found her true calling.
Mel values human life all else. Having been extensively trained in handling firearms, she only believes in their use as a deterrence to violence, a means of self-defense, or a last resort if other lives are at stake. She has also been trained in offensive and defensive driving techniques for pursuits, but in accordance with her personal maxims on the use of deadly force, will only commit to a pursuit if the suspect in question poses a threat to others and if no other option is available.
With a highly contagious exuberance yet unfaltering candor, Mel is very passionate about her interests, values, and those she holds close to her. Because of her adherence to her principles of truth and good will, it is also easy for her to hold lasting grudges, although these incidents are far and few between. She frequently autocrosses her 2011 Valkyrie GTS, which is also her patrol car, and has attempted amateur rallycross once with her 2019 Acolyte RHI. In addition to motorsports, Mel enjoys competitive FPS and is also mindful about her health and fitness, with her workout routine consisting of calisthenics and weight training.
Tanuki - Navigator + Gunner + Combat Engineer
/// Age: 24 (DOB: 1997 April)
/// Height: 1.63 m
/// Nationality: 
(formerly)
/// Ethnicity: Japanese
/// Affiliation: Black Rabbit Ltd.
/// Martial arts: Taekwondo (5th Dan Black Belt) || Krav Maga
/// War crimes: murder (20-30 counts) || enslavement (15 000 counts) || persecutions on political, racial or religious grounds (1 750 000+ counts) || ill treatment or deportation to slave labour or for any other purpose of the civilian population in occupied territory || ill treatment of prisoners of war or persons on the seas || plunder of public or private property || wanton destruction of cities, towns or villages
International war criminal at large and former heiress to the throne of a faraway exotic autocratic nation, Nakajima “Tanuki” (actual given name unknown) is the daughter of Nakajima Makoto, chairman of a global arms company, and a highly prominent actress in Japan’s movie industry. She was raised rigorously on the arts and academics under harsh governesses and strict parenting, becoming a highly accomplished student with a promising future by the time she enrolled in university.
Tanuki was married off to the Prince in 2016 following a major fallout between her father and the royal family. Mounting political tensions, deteriorating relations with neighboring nations, and a worsening humanitarian crisis brought the nation’s instability to the event horizon. With the might of her own private military corporation, Black Rabbit Incorporated, that she funded and directed herself, Tanuki assumed the throne in July of 2018 after coordinating a violent coup d'état that resulted in the execution of the entire ruling royal family. It wasn’t a stick that broke the camel’s back, but a sledgehammer.
Tanuki’s rule was brief but highly effective, enacting significant social and economic reforms. Although these resulted in a net benefit to the nation, she had also systematically executed an estimated one million and displaced hundreds of thousands more. She was eventually driven out and went into hiding after multiple failed assassination attempts. Tanuki’s current permanent residence remains unknown, although there are occasional reports of her appearance in Australia, various African and Latin American countries, Macau, and even the United States.
Tanuki’s personal life was never heavily publicized even after her forced marriage. The few people (alive) who have directly interacted with her consist of classmates from primary school, although most have signed NDAs and have not disclosed much information, and a handful of former corrupt defense company executives/military officials she had previously worked with. Even her face remains a sight unseen; she always wore a facemask and sunglasses in public, and her parents forbade photography of her uncovered face, a MO she continues to this day.
Nowadays, Tanuki is widely infamous for her penchant for chaos as a vehicle of enacting immediate socioeconomic reform and the means by which she directs Black Rabbit’s combat operations, which almost always result in high amounts of collateral damage. Her MO, which reflects her result-oriented, get-it-done attitude, doesn’t shy her away from doing whatever it takes to reach her goals, even if it entails forced labor or disguising her own forces as non-combatants, a tactic she employs during major overseas operations. As director of Black Rabbit, she frequently appears before her own personnel and officers and even maintains a consistent social media presence, where most know her as a mischievous, ruthless, teasing, and highly motivated terrorist; a sadistic warmonger who isn’t afraid to backstab suppliers or even her own officers under the slightest suspicion of betrayal.
However, more and more surfacing personal accounts from those who knew her at a young age will paint a different picture of Tanuki from her childhood and adolescent years, a Tanuki who is outwardly very reserved and shy when in the presence of strangers, only fully opening up to her true haughty and playful self in the company of those who she truly considers friends.
Debuting in 1981, the 6xx series was Dauer’s entry level model aimed at prospective buyers new to the brand while also providing a new yet equally thrilling driving experience to returning Dauer customers. The “6” indicates the specific model, a front-engine RWD 2-seat sports coupe, while the last two digits denote engine displacement; a 632 indicates a 3.2L boxer-6 engine. Various levels of tune were available, ranging from the “S” (higher output engine, stiffer anti-roll bars, upgraded brakes) to the GTS Turbo (280hp 3.2L turbocharged B6, numerous handling upgrades, sport interior, weight reduction). As it was their first front-engined model, the 6xx was initially released to the chagrin of many loyal Dauer customers, but eventually earned a name for itself as one of the finest handling sports cars of the era.
During an international assignment in the downtown Los Angeles area in 2020, Mel located a 65k-mile 1985 Dauer 632 S in fair mechanical and exterior condition for $12 000 USD. Upon consulting her father, who had previously lamented over the lack of used examples around Adelaide, Mel purchased the car and planned to have it shipped back to Australia. However, with concerns regarding international shipping arising from the Coronavirus pandemic, she was forced to keep it in a storage unit in LA.
Longer and more frequent assignments in southern California would lead to Mel renting an apartment nearby, where she could take the 632 out of storage and regularly drive it. Many years of working with her father on engineering projects allowed her to easily bring the powertrain and running gear to excellent working condition without spending an exorbitant amount of money.
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i am unable to write
SPEEDSPEEDLOVEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAASPEEDSPEEDLOVERAAAAAAAAAAEAEAEAEAEAESPEEDSPEEDLOVERCOUNTDOWNSOVERSOMETHINGSOMETHINGTRACKSPEEDSPEEDLOVERGAMESNOTOVERAEAEAEAEAEEEEEEEEEEEESPEEDYSPEEDYLOVERAEAEAEYOOOOOOOOHEAVYRAINPUSHINGTHHESTARTEROFYOURCARSPEEDSPEEDLOVERGAMESNOTOVERLAAALAAALAAASPEEDSPEEDLOVERCOUNTDOWNSOVER
TEAM BLAZERS
PROLOGUE III
A portion of this story features writing from @Elizipeazie.
With the sun fairly high now in the sky, and the other team members rather agitated, Charlotte and Watson veered out of the tent as the rest decided to just… rest…
“Can you believe it? It wasn’t even sundown, it was sunrise! And here we were rushing everything trying to get that thing prepared, even though we had so much time!” Charlotte groaned. “Well, at least we get to see some other people today…”
“Among all the things that I hadst found difficult with watch malfunctions, attempting to discern the current time and timezone is indeed one of the more painful ones. The rest you could manage with a wide enough vocabulary and understanding of linguistics, and just being good tempered. I’m surprised you didn’t know the time, either.”
“I was in a rush, okay?!” Charlotte rolled her eyes. “Anywho, I guess we should actually keep looking around. It smells like there’s some good food going on here, you hungry, Detective?” Her feline nose immediately picked up the strong stench of barbeques and other such meals taking place as she poked at him. All around them, tents were filled with different people of different species, ethnicity, race, backgrounds, and whatnot. More important to Charlotte however, were the different types of automobiles present in the campsite. Big cars, small cars. Not fast ones, and decently fast ones. You get the gist.
“I could go for a snack or two, just have to find someone willing enough to share.” He said as he looked around. Watson was tense, even though his body language had not made it clear. He was constantly on guard, and his very own senses seemed to be capturing something as he followed the black-furred feline. Meanwhile, Charlotte looked upon the cars, most of them were certainly shitboxes, going well with the theme of the rally, and so she felt rather conspicuous when she glanced backwards towards their tent, with the rather flashy and decently clean enough Yamada SUV sitting before the entrance.
Just like the two of them, Watson spotted as two other guys were walking just in front of them. However, his senses told him something was up with them, or rather, one of them. He gently tapped one of the men on the shoulder, and the man eerily turned his back around to look at Watson. Without a change in his demeanour however, he began to ask, “Sorry to disturb you, mind if I asked you something?”
“No, I don’t. How can I help?” The man quickly replied in a disturbingly calm and neutral tone, and after he had replied, the other man he was following had also stopped to turn around and face them. Watson looked confused for a moment, but stayed calm. He glanced around before walking up closer to the man and spoke in a fairly low voice. “You’re not of this era, are you?”
As he did this, Charlotte simply looked at him rather puzzled. The man proceeded to reply again with the overly neutral, rather, offensively neutral tone. “Depending on what exactly you define as an “era”, this statement may or may not be true.”
“He’s some fancy-ass police-bot from like 2030-something. How he got here? What do i know? All i know is that he’s now here and apparently at my service.” The other man chimed in, replying in a much more casual conversational tone than the first one, but his little blurt-in was followed up by yet another neutral sentence from the first man. “I am temporarily bound to Mr. Tim Redwood until both of us return to my partner.”
“Police… bot?” Watson looked at the two of them, still rather disconcerted about their ways of speaking, before looking back at Charlotte with the same look. Charlotte shot him a rather miffed glare.
“Shortened form of robot. Police robot I guess.” She looked at him with a concerned look. “Please tell me you know what a robot is…”
“You mean those mechanical hunks of steel vaguely shaped like a human?” Watson looked back at the so-called robot. “Impressive… People hadst advanced that much through one hundred years to be able to create machines that not only resemble humans, but leap through the fabrics of space-time as we know it. You can clearly understand me, right?” He said, waving.
"What the hell are you saying? Charlotte said, still very much puzzled, and so was the other man, who presumably was actually human. “Yeah, I guess… I mean… you are talking to him.”
“Both parties are speaking fluent english. I see no reason for a language barrier to be present.” The robot replied. “May I ask who you are?”
Watson was about to reply, but Charlotte moved in front of him, almost shoving him out of the way. “Well, like you, he’s a time traveller. Just call him Watson.” After addressing him, her tone had a sudden shift in tone to a much friendlier one. “I’m Charlotte, by the way! Sorry for such an awkward introduction, that guy’s from like, the 1930s or whatever, doesn’t know much about how we go about nowadays.” Charlotte looked over at the man behind the robot, and offering him an innocent smile. “I believe he called you Tim Redwood, didn’t he? Nice to meet you! You’re here for the rally, aren’t you?”
“Good morning, Charlotte.” Connor looked over towards Charlotte. “My name is Connor, an android sent by C-” Before he could finish his introduction, Redwood steps in with his own dialogue. “Yeah. That “partner” of his deserves some extended vacation without 200 plus pounds of annoyance in tow, as he calls him. We do have a third member back at the car.” The smile is returned rather awkwardly as he explains the situation and gestures toward a not-so-bright orange Liftback Sedan. An absolutely ginormous young man with equally ginormous haircut volume is seen seated on the loading edge of the trunk. He seems to be dabbling about on his phone in search of something to do.
Charlotte is slightly startled by Connor’s sudden ‘good morning’, and she just awkwardly waves at him as she looked over towards the faded orange sedan. Connor initially attempts returning the wave with his right arm, but fails due to previous damage inflicted to it, leading to it not moving at all. He thus returns the wave using his left hand.
“Oh! A Dione, is it? As far as I’m aware, not a rare car by any stretch of the imagination, very much sticking to the theme of the race, arencha?” She says as she glanced at the vehicle. Redwood’s eyes seem to light up as he begins to speak a bit more enthusiastically. “Yes! My last one went bust because of brakes. Getting a new one was faster than fixing the current.” Redwood seems highly enthusiastic about his new old car and the race, despite it not being an offroader by any stretch and only having minimal mods done to it. Upon the loud exclamation, the giant looks up and towards the group before being approached by a bulky man in full military attire, but without a firearm. The two start talking to each other, but not loud enough to understand anything.
Whilst Redwood was busy being occupied by Charlotte’s nerdiness over anything with four wheels and a body, Watson looks back at Connor a second time, but once again is unable to peer into his robotic mind. Seems like his technique only works on humans. He sighs, and this time his expression takes a slightly more serious shift. “Right then, Connor. I’ll be straight with you. I can sense that you’ve managed to create a rip within the quantum space fabric, in other words, jumping timelines. Achieving this as a fully sentient machine is impressive to say the least, would you mind telling me… your methods of achieving such a thing?” Watson says as he pulled out a golden-coloured watch from his pocket. Anyone with keen time-travelling senses would undoubtedly be able to detect it’s mystical properties. Yet there was something off about it despite being a state-of-the-art time-travelling device, for the watch’s hands didn’t seem to move, and there they were frozen in place.
“I would like to, but am not capable of doing so, as i am not aware of any action i did that would have caused it. Even if the event has been intentional, i would have no reason to voluntarily cause it.” After having frozen for a bit, Connor began to explain rather sincerely, as Watson seemed deeply interested in meeting another time-traveller. Watson seemed to have begun picking up the pieces to the pattern, and so he continued trying to analyze Connor.
“You’re a robot right? Do you have any idea why your creator might have fashioned you in this way?”
“I have been built in order to assist humans in law enforcement and detective work. My current partner is on vacation and has temporarily reassigned me to Mr. Redwood.” He repeats what has been already said. Not that he has another choice, as the android has not a single clue as to how or why he is time-travel-capable. Upon hearing his name, Redwood just turns back to Connor and Watson. “You good?” He asked, and Connor turned back towards him to provide a very simplified answer; a simple “Yes.”
Watson was just pensive at this point. Either this robot’s not intelligent enough to know or his maker made him intelligent enough to avoid questions that might have him know their true purposes. He looked back at Connor and simply sighed. “Detective duty, huh? It’d be nice if you’d use those detective abilities of yours to figure out what exactly hadst gotten you here.” He looked behind Connor and towards Charlotte, who seemed to had been overhearing the entirety of the conversation despite her enthusiastic gossiping about automobiles, and when Redwood had turned around to address Connor, she quickly shot a disapproving glare towards Watson.
“Well then Connor, if you ever do find out that reason, or those methods… You’ll know where to find me. I think it would be interesting to have another discussion when I investigate the likes of you a bit more.” Watson walked past him and towards Charlotte, whilst lightly patting Connor’s shoulder with his palm, giving off a certain signal that only those capable of jumping the timeline fabric could detect, although as for Connor’s case, he probably wouldn’t even realize what had happened. Watson now stood next to Charlotte. “So what have you been discussing about?” He glanced over at the faded orange automobile.
“Mostly exchanging stuff about our cars and how we got to own them. What we did to them in preparation for this race, what have you…” Redwood also overheard the conversation between Connor and Watson. While he didn’t get every detail of it, it now seemed to him that Watson was dubious in nature. Also taking a look at his new ‘beauty’, he only now notices that the fourth crew member has arrived. “Also. Seems like reinforcements have arrived.”
“A soldier? I didn’t hear of us going to war just yet.” Watson and Charlotte looked over towards the so-called ‘reinforcement’. As Charlotte noticed the man in camouflage, her face grew uncomfortable, and her body seemed to tense up slightly.
Redwood instantly regrets mentioning the fourth member in the first place. He didn’t think of the immediate intimidation coming off someone in full camouflage.* “Nah… no war. He’s not deployed here or anything. Nor is he infantry… At least as far as I am aware he belongs to the Navy…” He tries to calm down the others with potentially questionable success. From his point of view, he was safe, as he knew he was of substantial rank and exploiting it for anything would rid him of his career rather quickly.
Charlotte tugged on Watson’s sleeve, and visible on her face was a discomforted look. “R-right… I think… It’s best we get going…” Watson looked at her slightly confused at first, but eventually figured it out. He placed his hand over her shoulders and gestured to them.
“Looks like, we’ve ought to be going now. It was pleasant having a chat with you. I’ll look forward to meeting each other again.” He said as he began to escort Charlotte out of the area. As he looked back, he noticed a rather disappointed look on Redwood’s face. Likely because he apparently scared Charlotte off. Still, Redwood remained composed and wished them well, followed by a rather stoic version of the same thing from Connor. Soon after, the two head off, they went back towards their own vehicle as well.
As Charlotte and Watson continued walking around the camp, there was a distinct and very awkward lack of conversational speak between the two of them, even as they passed the tents with the people barbequeing, and they were getting very much awkward. Watson didn’t seem to be having it, however, and decided the best course of action was to just ask her right there.
“Did the soldier trigger an emotional response back there?” He asked in a very analytical tone with a slight hint of friendliness. Charlotte wasn’t able to pick up the cues however, and simply responded with coldly. “What do you think, Detective?”
“I think that you might have something against people in military outfits. Looks like something hadst rung a bell right there. Something to do with your royal background?”
“I’d prefer if you didn’t talk about that loudly.” She crossed her arms. “What’s it matter to you, anyway?”
“You’ve signed yourself up as Navigator. Now, not to bring down your Navigational Skills, but in general, if you’re in bad spirits, I believe we might end up into trouble much earlier down the line.”
“Uh huh.” She rolled her eyes and sighed before trying to switch her tone in a very obvious way. “Whatever, anyway. You think Ray’s brought snacks with him? I don’t think I’m in the mood to go grab a meal from another team. Don’t know who we could run into, after all.”
“Well, princess, if you may be so inclined, I could instead be the one to provide you with the sustenance you might be desiring at this very moment. Instead of thee going out and asking for the food thyself, I couldst instead go in thyne place so tha-”
“Oh, shut up!” She chuckled. “If you want to go get us food, then go ahead, I’ll head back to the tent.” She said, playfully shoving him out of the way. Watson had a small smile on his face as he went out to the other tents to see if any of them had anything snackable.
Meanwhile, Charlotte had made it back towards their tent, quickly looking to admire her rather sloppy job of placing the decals onto their vehicle. There were some air bubbles here and there, maybe a couple of folds and creases, but from a distance, to her, it looked more than good enough as she walked past the faded red vehicle and into the tent. And as she entered the tent, she immediately felt a sudden warmth envelop her as she found the three who had remained were off doing their own thing, Romulo had taken off his shirt as he couldn’t bear the heat of the Mojave as it beat down from the tent’s thin roof, and he was the first to notice and greet her back.
“Hey! Hope you don’t mind me stripping a bit… I have no idea how that blonde bastard even copes with that long-sleeved polo of his in this heat…”
Charlotte glances over at him, his body seemed to really be dripping in sweat, around his biceps and towards his shoulders were little beads of sweat lining it all around, and his chest dripped with the heat-dissipating fluids from his neck. She felt her cheeks warm up a little as she observed the slight shine on his fairly toned body, before she quickly shifted her gaze away. “I-I don’t mind! If it’s really that unbearable to you…”
She looked all around the tent, there weren’t a lot of ventilation holes and the entrances all seemed to be closed, and then it clicked. “Oh, I see now.”
Charlotte proceeded to create some openings in the tent by shoving some of the tent’s walls out of the way, neatly tying them together to create some ventilation, much to Romulo’s dismay.
“W-w-wait! What are you doing?!” He exclaimed, as he reached over to stop Charlotte from creating any more pass throughs. “You’re gonna let the heat in!”
“Are you stupid?” She looked at him with a menacing glare. “That’s not how this works, you’ll just be trapping heat in here if you keep the tent closed like this.” She said as a cool breeze began to flow into the tent. “See?”
“Finally, someone with some sense! I sat here trying to argue with this absolute buffoon about why the tent should remain opened, but it was of no use at all!” Emily exclaimed as she sat up from where she was lying, her breast almost spilling out of her dress because of how far she had unbuttoned it. “I was very much inclined to strip right here and then!”
“If you did that, I at least would’ve gotten some eye candy.” Romulo smirked, before he felt a light object slam into his head seemingly at three times the speed of sound. “Ouch! What was that for?!”
“Insolent fool! How inappropriate!” Emily called out from across the tent, with another handfan still in her hand.
“It was just a joke! You brought it up, anyway!”
Emily just rolled her eyes at this. On the other hand, Ga’araiya seemed to have been woken up from all the commotion that had been going on, and when she awoke, everyone seemed to have paused for a moment as they observed her. She looked at everyone with a confused look, before getting up and grabbing a bottle of water from one corner of the tent. She managed to gulp the whole thing down in what seemed like barely a few seconds, wagging her tail as she did so, before putting the bottle back down and returning to Emily’s side. There she sat, with a rather puzzled look on her face as she looked around wondering why everyone was staring at her. She looked through the tent’s openings, and immediately managed to notice Watson as he began approaching the tent, a couple of boxes of grilled food in his hands, and she immediately got up to run towards him, jumping up trying to reach for the food he was carrying.
“Hey! Be patient!” He exclaimed as he lifted the boxes of food higher to prevent Ga’araiya from reaching them. Slightly annoyed, she let out a small growl before jumping up and clinging onto his arm with only the power of her jaws, which now were revealed to Charlotte and Romulo that her teeth were not human-like, but instead rather sharp like that of a large predatory fish. Watson seemed unfazed by this sudden provocation from Ga’araiya, and continued on into the tent. “I’ve brought everyone a meal, I suggest we start eating. Looks like the organizers are about to do a quick meeting of sorts in a bit.”
“I guess that makes sense. I think I’ll have to go out there since I was listed as the leader.” Romulo said, grabbing the box of food from Watson.
“Any team member can go if they want, so of course, I’ll be joining you~!” Charlotte said in a rather excited tone. “I think they’re going to start telling the other teams what’s about to happen. I can already imagine some of them not being very comfortable with it. Traversing the rift isn’t that scary anyway.”
“Can’t imagine it’d be any worse than jumping to hyperspeed like the Argo from Star Blazers…” Romulo smirked at Watson, but he didn’t seem to notice this as he did not understand the pop culture reference.
“Is that where you got the team name from?” Charlotte pondered.
“Yup, us jumping planes led to us being in this shifting zone or whatever where it looked like we performed an FTL jump. Pretty wild, and rather uncomfortable at first. But I don’t think I’d mind something like that again.”
“The rift is pretty different though, I won’t spoil a lot but it’s not going to be that instantaneous jump like you said.” She shrugged.
“Guess we’ll just have to see then.” Watson sat down before finally giving Ga’araiya the meal she was waiting for. The moment she received it, in an instant it the meal was gone and she looked very much satisfied. She let out a small burp, and her face seemed to flush red slightly as she covered her mouth with both her hands.
“She really doesn’t speak, huh?” Romulo pointed out with his mouth fairly full. Watson swallowed after a bit of chewing, and replied, “No, she does. Just not all the time.” He looked over at her, there was a small stain on her cheek which he wiped off after pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket, before continuing with a smug remark. “Especially when she’s busy eating.”
That remark ended up getting Watson’s back slapped by Ga’araiya’s tail as her face flushed an even deeper red and her gaze avoiding everyone else’s.
“Watson… stupid…”
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Well, friends, it is 12:05 AM, on March 26, 2022, in the Real World
Entries are now Closed!
Thankfully, good news on the cars and teams front: Everyone who is in here managed to get their team information to me along with a car.
So, the Inaugural Shitbox Rally participants are:
Username - Team Name - Car Name
@Madrias - Team Shift Happens - Bricksley Highwayman
@Caligari - Team Wayfarers - IFAZ Bogatir “Chernobog”
@Executive - Team Gearknobs - Hakaru Carica SE
@BannedByAndroid - Team Fallen Angels of the Past - Claussient 25
@interior - Team Slow - Schnell XL53
@TheYugo45GV - Team Oil Crisis - Union Magistrate
@Knugcab - Team Hillbilly Rollers - IP Freeway Star
@Fayeding_Spray - Team Witchlight - EAAC Aphrodite
@MrdjaNikolen - Team Mravolinski-Chitco - Kontir Cunningham
@variationofvariables - Team Blazers - Yamada ASR-4
@SurrealCereal - Team Machinas Con Passiones - MCP AWSB
@AndiD - Team Quick Rally 47 / Studies in Quantum Xenoanthropology - Mara Kanyon
@BG004130 - Team Mrezhari - Dunav 3300
@NoahC - Team Jockey - Yinzer MightyTiny
@Elizipeazie - Team RK Series Racing - Anhultz Dione
@Tzuyu_main - Team Black Rabbit - Dauer 632 S
@SheikhMansour - Team Spy Kids - AST Elbrus
I’ll give everyone a brief chance to relax before I put up the drivers’ meeting and get this mess on the move. Now, I need to go up to the top and let everyone know that entries are now closed.
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THE SPY KIDS
Okay, it’s not the real Spy Kids, it’s just four university students with millions of uncertain origin in a clapped out 4x4. But it’s an ex-KGB 4x4, so that basically makes them spies, right? Well, anyway…
The personnel
Driver: Jessica Lombaerts
Age: 19
Appearance: 165cm tall, dirty blonde/brunette hair, dresses exclusively for the beach, skate park, or nightclub.
Description: Half-Dutch, half mad. Her main job is to drive fast, and her car collection reflects that. Her other job is to smoke enough weed to asphyxiate an entire country, and as a result half of the colour and texture in her hair is actually hashish. Is also a hip hop dancer.
Vehicles: BMW M3 (E92), Suzuki Hayabusa, Ford Bronco, Pagani Zonda
Navigator: Alexis Ahaual
Age: 23
Appearance: 155cm, black hair with highlights of varying colours, guerilla uniforms or traditional Mayan or Oto-Manguean dress.
Description: They/them. Fervent Zapatista, even more fervent drum and bass enthusiast. Can speak nine languages, of which five are only spoken in Mexico and Guatemala. Learnt French solely to learn L’Internationale; learnt Russian solely to learn the Soviet anthem. Also an accomplished weed smoker, but prefers mate de coca.
Vehicles: Toyota Landcruiser, Toyota Hilux, KTM 500 EXC
Mechanic: Shay Hirvonen
Age: 16
Appearance: 160cm, blonde hair, wears cottage-core outfits, winter sweaters, or androgynous clothes.
Description: Soft and cuddly on the outside, sharp and devious on the inside. Is better with her hands than anyone else on the team, and probably anyone else this side of the Olympics. Is responsible for the upgrades on the KGB-mobile. When she’s not in soft-core mode, she will step on you, and you will like it. Can also shoot better than Alexis despite not being a committed militant.
Cars: Jaguar E-Type, Mercedes-Maybach S650 (with upgrades), VW Kombi (with upgrades)
Liaison: Lazar Kandyba
Age: 24
Appearance: 167cm, black hair, black beard, 80% normal clothes, 20% Soviet wear and Slav Squat tracksuits.
Description: Ukrainian, Khrushchevist, anti Stalin, anti modern Russia. Much vodka consumption, almost as much sunflower seed consumption. Switched from tobacco to cannabis to alleviate lung problems actually caused by living in Donetsk. Can haggle his way out of a Rolls-Royce dealership. Knows Krav Maga, Muay Thai, and AK47.
Cars: Lada Niva (with upgrades), Nissan Stagea (with upgrades)
The car
Started out life in the 70s as an AST Elbrus, built by Avto Samushaoebi Tbilisi* for the KGB as a luxurious but rugged pursuit vehicle. 4x4, locking differentials, and a 3.8 V8 meant it would vault over rough terrain with ease. Well, as much ease as 138bhp could provide you, and by 2022 there won’t be 138bhp left. Lazar found this thing somewhere in Kharkiv and brought it over to Las Vegas, whereupon it produced grimaces from his teammates. So Shay went to work upgrading it.
New 30" all terrain tyres to handle even rougher terrain, bigger and vented disc brakes to not go over a cliff, and disconnectable sway bars to allow more articulation were part of the modest handling package. The engine got more aggressive upgrades. A tubular exhaust, with double mufflers replacing the old single muffled cast pipes, a new intake, upgraded conrods and crank, and most importantly replacing the four barrel carburetor with an intake port fuel injection system that allowed the installation of higher compression pistons. They’re still only 7.6:1 to handle shit fuel, but when the old ratio was 6.3:1, it’s a huge improvement. The result is 169bhp and improved fuel economy.
Shay’s crowning achievement, however, was the new sound system. A CD player, aux cord port, bluetooth, USB ports, and upgraded sound system promise to make the journey that much more enjoyable, and a refurbished interior means they won’t look like plebs every time they stop at a checkpoint. Of course, these upgrades cost several thousand dollars, but when the original car was a few hundred, it doesn’t matter, right? Oh yeah, there’s also the obligatory roof rack, battering ram, and collapsed suns for the true long distance rally experience.
2 Likes
Team Shift Happens
Previous Chapters:
The Plan / Getting the Truck / The Email
A Trick and a Wager / I Hate Scorpions!
Let’s Get This Party Started / First Arrivals - Starting Party 6 AM
Making Friends? - Starting Party 7 AM
A Moment in Time - Starting Party 7:30 AM
Another Team Arrives / War Songs in the Camp - Starting Party 8 AM
A Grand Reveal / An Army of Soda Cans - Starting Party 8:30 AM
Shitbox Rally Starting Party, 9:00 AM Local Time
Once Rukari had finished having a blast at the makeshift shooting range, he started another pot of tea next to the campfire. With water at a boil, he poured some over a tea bag, added sugar, and poured in a hefty splash of rum. “Anyone else want one?” Rukari asked, holding up his mug. “Is sugar, tea, and rum.”
“Go ahead, guys,” Malavera said. “Nine hours until the race, you’ll have enough time to sober up.” He accepted a mug from Rukari, taking a sip and smiling. “Especially because he’s used good rum this time.”
“Is only good rum if fire-powder still burns in it,” Rukari said. “Passes proof. Would not use rum that powder not burn in, has too much water in it,” he added, taking a sip.
Kivenaal grinned, grabbed another mug, and added a second splash of rum to it, earning himself a slightly-disapproving glare from Rukari. “What? It’s good rum.”
“Yi, ahd di nesehuul vedi ki lial vii kosa vosahi,” Rukari replied instantly. (Translation: Yes, and you not-have strong cup before we ride (in) speed-hunt.)
Kivenaal grimaced. “I’ll just have the one.”
When Constantin Schrant walked up to Malavera and asked to be put on the form alongside the rest of Team RK Series Racing, Malavera nodded, flipped through his stack of registration forms, and had him fill out his information. Rukari, likewise, made an additional ring for the late arrival and added it to the sorted tray of rings he had with him.
With most of the teams present, accounted for, and still sober, it was Malavera who walked into the center of the camp, as Rukari and Kivenaal had not that long ago, and said, “Welcome, contestants, to the Shitbox Rally!”
Before he could continue, a bright white minivan streaked into the campsite and parked, perhaps a little aggressively, next to the Anhultz Dione. “We have ourselves a Dustbuster,” Malavera quipped, as Team Machinas Con Passiones rushed over to Malavera with their registration form in Giacomo’s hand. Malavera stared at him with both heads, grabbed the form, and nodded. “I’ll deal with this after the driver’s meeting,” he said.
No longer in a huge hurry as it was obvious Malavera wasn’t going to get to checking over the van until Malavera was ready, Giacomo and his crew stood along with the rest of the crowd. Thibault was still wearing his driving gloves and looking over the cars while Malavera continued his drivers’ meeting. Maria and Dr. Dover were staring at the rest of the crowd, with a look of horror on Maria’s face and genuine interest on Dr. Ben Dover’s face at seeing so many unusual beings around. Chad McChad was studying the other cars, trying to decide if they were going to be much of a challenge in this competition, though it was hard to tell, as rusty bodies could hide powerful new engines underneath.
Turning back to the crowd of drivers, Malavera continued as if he hadn’t been interrupted by the arrival of the minivan, “Hopefully, this will be the first of many.”
Again, however, fate had other plans, as the screaming orange-and-blue Dauer 632 S PANAM of Team Black Rabbit Corporation, fully liveried-up like a proper rally car, slid in sideways, covered the white minivan and the faded orange Dione in dirt, then spun around to park next to the minivan. Quickly, Mel and Tanuki got out of the car and ran over to the drivers’ meeting.
Malavera sighed, then shaded his right set of eyes with his hand as he looked to the horizon to see if any other cars were immediately visible. When he spotted the AST Elbrus of Team Spy Kids approaching, he decided to wait a bit until Team Spy Kids parked up next to the Dauer 632 and got out of their SUV. Jessica, Lazar, Shay, and Alexis got out of the car, with Jessica handing in the registration form as the team passed Malavera, joining the driver’s meeting.
Malavera, trying to shrug off being interrupted again, continued on with, “I’m getting this drivers’ meeting over with early, because, let’s be honest, if I try to do this in nine hours, half of you won’t hear it. Kaylie will be handing out rings to each member of every team, and these rings are important. Rukari has worked some magic over them to do a few things. First, these rings will let you speak the native languages of the world we will be traveling through. Second, they act as beacons for us, so we can tell you’re still moving, still in this. If you’re ever stuck, we’ll know and someone will help you out. Third, and most important, however, is that each ring has an emergency teleport spell woven into it. If at any time, you have a problem where you really need to get back to where you came from, rotate the ring clockwise on your finger and say ‘I wish to be at home’ three times within 10 seconds, and you will be transported back to your home location. Note that doing this will destroy the ring in the process, and may cause some damage to the vehicle you’re in, but it is meant for emergency use only. Also, if you check the table full of food, you’ll find a stack of folders there with team names on them. Inside each folder, Rukari has placed a hand-drawn map of the world we will be driving through. He has used a special ink that will only reveal the contents of said map with three hours remaining.”
“To prevent pictures on internet,” Rukari said, by way of explanation, while making a few more rings with one of the spare copper ingots he had, so that the late arrivals would be safe.
“Other than that, the rules are fairly simple. First rule: Don’t be a dick. If someone’s broken down, help them out. If someone’s stuck, yank them out. Yes, it’s a race, but remember, the person you yank out of a ditch in the first stage might be the guy who has that part you need in the last one. We’re all driving shit cars here, we’re all going to have breakdowns. Second rule: Leave nothing but your tire tracks. I don’t want to see a trail of trash following our cars. More importantly, we’re going through an area that has less technological development than Earth has. You might think it’s harmless to yeet a spark plug into the forest because it’s been mechanically regapped by the piston, but that could give someone an unfair technological advantage. You might also think it’s fine to leave beer cans laying around, but no one there will know what a Mudweiser is, and we don’t need to introduce the locals to aluminum cans in their rivers. Third rule: We leave here at 1800 hours. That’s 6 PM for anyone who doesn’t use 24 hour time. Rukari here plans to open a gateway between worlds, and while I don’t understand it, he does,” Malavera said.
“Will have 20 minutes for all teams to enter Nelehnraad. Do not be in gateway when I close it, not be good for anyone,” Rukari said.
Malavera continued with, “At noon, we’ll give you all a glimpse of where you’ll be going.”
Kivenaal spoke up at this point with, “Believe me when I say, you do not want to try to go through when we show you. The amount of energy it takes to hold the mirror open is… It takes both of us to do it, and we can only manage this version for five minutes. Trying to go through it could leave you, as the term goes, ‘stuck Between-the-Glass,’ and we don’t want that happening.”
Malavera then said, “So, if you need supplies, now is the time to get them. If you need to rent a CB radio, come see me, I have a few left, new in box, that you can use for the duration of the event. If you need help installing your radio, go see Kaylie.”
Kaylie raised her chrome left hand and waved. “I wired up four in our truck. Had plenty of practice to do it right, so you won’t have to worry about having your radio cutting out when you hit the horn, or keying the microphone turning on your off-road lights. I learned how not to do that already.”
With the driver’s meeting over with, Malavera checked over the MCP Aerodynamic Wedge-Shaped Beast, abbreviated it on his checklist as the MCP AWSB, and stuck a Shitbox Rally sticker on the passenger side of the windshield. “Welcome to the Rally,” Malavera said.
After the MCP was checked over, Malavera then checked over Team Black Rabbit’s registration form, handed it over to Rukari to get their rings made, and quickly inspected their car, finding it to be a well-put-together little rally machine. He handed Tanuki a Shitbox Rally sticker to put on the windshield, then said, “Welcome to the Rally.”
Finally, the last car on the list was the AST Elbrus, which Malavera confirmed was indeed rally legal, plastered the passenger side windshield with a Shitbox Rally sticker, and, like he’d done for the other teams, told Team Spy Kids, “Welcome to the Rally.”
Rukari chuckled, adding more rings to the tray to cover all of the new arrivals, just before Kaylie picked up the tray of sorted rings and the registration forms, then walked around the camp, her chrome left arm gleaming in the desert sun as she handed each person a simple copper ring engraved with runes. “These are part of the registration, to help identify each other as racers. Please, wear them at all times. Malavera assures me that the size you’re given matches what you need, and, to be fair, I don’t want to know how he got that information.”
“I put it in the registration form before attaching it to the email, Kaylie,” Malavera said. “Not everything I do involves hacking.”
Kayden chuckled, turning his ring over in his hands before putting it on. “It’s a shame they had to be made of copper. With the runes, if these were gold…” Kayden said, trailing off at the end.
Kaylie glared at her brother. “If you snarl out, ‘My precious’ in that stupid voice again, I’m going to make you eat your tail!”
Rukari gave a grim chuckle as he put his own ring on. Unlike the others, his carried no enchantment to understand the languages of Crugandr, as he knew the languages there.
Malavera slid his ring on with little fanfare even though he noticed that his ring, unlike the others, was a bright gold. He found a note from Rukari in his pocket, which simply said, 'You wear ring of pack-leader, because navigator is most important job on ship.’ He smiled and tucked the note away, glad that Rukari had acknowledged the importance of the position.
Kivenaal smiled, sliding the slim copper band over his ring finger of his lower right hand. His was enchanted, mostly because while he suspected he could probably understand the people in this time, he’d have as much fun dealing with them as most English speakers would in the Dark Ages with Old English.
(OOC: And so it begins. This is going to be fun. Expect the next couple of updates to be somewhat quick, and soon we will leave Nevada behind.)
2 Likes
TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PART 1.0 - Now things got serious)
After Janne vent back to the van, he spotted a new face over at the RK Racing team, that looked suspiciously familiar. “WTF”, he thought. “Constantin Schrant? What is he doing here”. Back at the van he was interrupted by Andreas, that had heard that the drivers meeting was going to be in just a few minutes, so they better had to hurry with finishing what they had to do.
The team had barely arrived at the drivers meeting before they got interrupted by a kind of familiar sound.
A: “Who is revving a V6 like a maniac?”
M: “Someone arrived in a Pontiac Trans Sport!”
J: “That’s not a Pontiac Trans Sport!”
M: “What is it then?”
J: “Eh…yeah, what the… What IS it?”
A: “And look who is stepping out of it. Thibault Prosper!”
M: “Thibault who?”
A: “Well, once a somewhat famous rally driver, now he has done a mistake too much and works as…ehm, more or less Ronald Mc Donald.”
M: "Yeah, and you are a folkrace driver.
A: “Uhm… SHUT UP, the hosts needs to say things and you are disturbing them.”
The next cars to arrive was a Dauer and an AST, but even if they were spectacular in their own rights, they weren’t as strange and interesting to the team as a Totally not a Pontiac Trans Sport but what is it, driven by a failed ex WRC driver. They heard Malavera speak about the rules and Marie had a hard time understanding them.
M: “What is he saying?”
A: “More or less that you should be locked into the van and not be allowed to leave it. That’s the only way to prevent disaster, I guess.”
M: “No, that was not what he was saying.”
A: “Then shut up and don’t ask.”
M: “Uhm…can’t copper turn your fingers green?”
J: “Yes it can. Can a drunkard turn a whole damn van pink? The answer is YES!”
All in all, though, there was something exciting with driving through some unknown backwoods, or whatever it was supposed to be. Without having to use the whole 1989 Radio Shack catalog to be able to get there.
3 Likes
RK Series Racing; Pre-Race Camp; Part 2
After a brief bout of away-from-car activities with curious participants with either questionable looks, questionable behavior or both, Tim and Connor return to the car, greeting Constantin in the process.
They don’t get far, as the driver meeting is called out and the host team explains what ill be happening, just to be interrupted twice. The second disturbance was a rather flamboyant rally-style car, covering The Dione itself, the rear bench and Valentin further back in dirt.
Tim: [shouting across] “Good going, lads! Covering 8 people in dirt for some asshattery…”
Valentin: [mumbling] “Really?”
Valentin starts work on getting copious amounts of dirt brushed out of his vast haircut. Connor, meanwhile practically records what is said about the driver’s meeting, with both Tim and Constantin also paying attention. The first confusion starts to arise once the ring is explained and how it will teleport them back to Earth if the instructions are acted upon.
Tim: “Wait what? We’re leaving Earth?”
Constantin: “Seems like it… somehow… At least there seems to be an emergency shutoff… ring.”
Tim: “Not like it’s the first time. Last world with that GT racing stuff just felt like 90s America.”
They get back to following the driver meeting and the explanation of the rules, which seem perfectly sensible given the difference in tech between us and them. The same applies to the map reveal, given the context of interplanetary travel. Even Connor isn’t phased much by the theoretical impossibility of this ordeal physics-wise. When it comes to supplies, things start to get a little more interesting, as they did not have the time or materials to install a CB-Radio before getting here. Nor did they feel a need to, since the initial assumption did not take them as far away from Earth. Once the explanation is done with, they gather up behind the Dione, where Valentin was still occupied with his hairdo.
Tim: “So i take you two already know each other?”
Valentin: “Not really, since you never told me he’d be here…”
Tim: “Met him through some AMA thread on Reddit. Thought some more specialized survival skills might come in handy.”
Valentin: “That… is true.”
Tim: “Anyway, we probably should collect the ring and sort out the Radio stuff. Probably won’t have phone reception over there…”
Tim heads off towards the host team in order to collect the as-of-yet empty map, their emergency teleport ring as well as sorting out the radio rental service offered. Connor and Constantin are tagging along, while Valentin stays at the car, both uneasy at the sight of the humanoid-tiger/ wolf hybrids and also not done with clearing up dirt yet. The group of three approach Rukary:
Tim: “Well i heard you have some spare Radios we could borrow? We maaaay or may not need one. Also might as well get the Map and ring stuff sorted.”
2 Likes
Team Shift Happens
Previous Chapters:
The Plan / Getting the Truck / The Email
A Trick and a Wager / I Hate Scorpions!
Let’s Get This Party Started / First Arrivals - Starting Party 6 AM
Making Friends? - Starting Party 7 AM
A Moment in Time - Starting Party 7:30 AM
Another Team Arrives / War Songs in the Camp - Starting Party 8 AM
A Grand Reveal / An Army of Soda Cans - Starting Party 8:30 AM
Drivers’ Meeting - Starting Party 9 AM
Shitbox Rally Starting Party, 9:15 AM Local Time
Rukari looked up as Tim asked him about a spare radio, the map, and the ring. “Nekasi, will just be one moment,” Rukari said, before grabbing the registration sheet and double-checking what they had written down. Grabbing four rings in the proper sizes, he handed them over to Tim, then handed him a folder containing a map, still currently invisible. He then looked to Malavera and yelled, “Mal, we need radio for this team!”
Malavera grimaced. “You don’t have to yell, Rukari,” Malavera grumbled, grabbing a radio off of the stack and handing it to Tim. “If the two of you need some help installing that, ask for Kaylie. She’s the one with the chrome left hand. I’d help, but my hands are too damn big, and, well, to be honest, I don’t want to break anything in your car. I come from a world with much higher gravity,” Malavera said.
RK Series Racing; Pre-Race Camp; Part 3
Tim: “Thanks! We’ll head right on over since we don’t have proper equipment for electrical work…”
The group of three head over a few feet to Kaylie, who wasn’t hard to make out given the immense glare coming off the chrome arm in the Nevada sunlight…
Tim: [to Kaylie] “Err… it was said that you could help with wiring that thing up?”
@Madrias
imma leave this here for now. we might wanna plan the upcoming RP a bit more closely.
2 Likes
Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Entries Closed!) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen
As in almost any previous instance, this is reply to last part
Tow training with scent of dog piss
Chicota once again noted someone getting in middle of camp, hoping this will be more useful than previous occassion.
It was, indeed.
You can imagine that Chicota took advantage of sugar+tea+rum mix that was offered. Rukari had offered nice piece of advice on rum quality, although Chicota doesnt carry black powder.
Pi had also listened to what Malavera had to say, even tho she doesnt understand English.
Dont worry, she got it all translated by either me or Chicota-not really sure, doesnt matter in greater scheme of things.
She was excited about the fact she could engage in conversation with rest of camp due to rings.
Ofc she decided to see if this ring effectively serves as ultimate translation device by engaging in kinda conversation with…interestingly enough, Rukari.
“I can now talk to everyone here. I can now understand everything you lot say.”
Beast decided to demonstrate vast amount of languages he knows, out of which Pi can probably understand few due to ring and exactly none without.
Decided to leave some Crugandr language as last, so she could understand him in the end.
But sure, its nice being bilingual for first time in her life.
Chicota and dogs would be able to find some scientific sense in new addition to their outfits.
But they realized for first time that science doesnt necessarily apply to its fullest.
They checked the piece of paper they received and confirmed that atm its just a piece of paper
(You can prob guess that this is map given by hosts).
Also travelling to paralel universe isnt exactly big news, but the fact its controlled process turned out to be big one indeed.
Less technological advancement would also be big news, which kinda started worrying everyone.
Charging phones was dealt with, Mrdja’s music is on SD cards of his phone and his favourite mobile game can indeed work offline
VerBanka was also preparing for getting in new world.
It was decided that Pi could train a little bit about towing the vehicle, so after attaching some straps for her to use, she begun.
She needed to use quite a lot of strength to overcome inertia or even required the vehicle to not be in complete standstill.
Klimentol was behind the wheel, adjusting direction of vehicle to make sure it follows Pi and wouldnt accidentally crash into something or someone.
Aydar was very close to car, doing something, but seemed innocent enough.
Everyone they passed seemed to be first kinda taken aback with tower, but were smiling when attention would shift back to car, some doing full-on laughing.
Klimentol havent really understood reasoning for this strange behaviour and would investigate.
Aydar had parted ways with car tad bit before car returns in front of tent.
“YOU M%%%N, SUCH A%%HOLE!!!
I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE, PREFERABLY COLD!”
Yes, Klimentol finally noted that on front doors of vehicle was written:
^
||
||
IM
A
D%%K
Aydar had sprayed door with urine, then applied some sand to make out the lettering.
Klimentol decided to use closest equivalent to hose he had to spray down the sand and some of liquid he used also entered the cabin.
This was personal and next step was ofc to find the culprit who was very aware of being hunted down.
Klimentol had eventually found Aydar and ripped wonderful arc of liquid that would be directed at Aydar’s head.
Long-range encounter was in works and both of them demonstrated their skills in hosing down stuff on relative distance.
“Such childish behaviour”
"Well, you had BRILLIANT idea of spraying me down with urine. I needed to return the favour.
“You started with sand note on door”
“Cmon you gotta have some fun”
Needless to say, they did returned to normal terms afterwards…Shame we couldnt say same for smell that reeked of battle they waged.
Aware of that, they decided to try and find Rufus Willow-Wright from Wayfarers, preferably doing very specific activity.
Sure enough, Rufus was indeed cleaning himself.
After they watched him for few minutes, they went back to do the same, knowing this is not very pleasant but only way to kinda avoid smelling like piss.
Pi decides this is perfect time to notify them of some checks they need to do, more precisely if checking her and potentially repairing whatever kind of damage she happen to have.
Cleaning left for later, they ended up checking out our weirdest member’s health state.
2 Likes
Team Shift Happens
Previous Chapters:
The Plan / Getting the Truck / The Email
A Trick and a Wager / I Hate Scorpions!
Let’s Get This Party Started / First Arrivals - Starting Party 6 AM
Making Friends? - Starting Party 7 AM
A Moment in Time - Starting Party 7:30 AM
Another Team Arrives / War Songs in the Camp - Starting Party 8 AM
A Grand Reveal / An Army of Soda Cans - Starting Party 8:30 AM
Drivers’ Meeting - Starting Party 9 AM
A Request for Help - Starting Party 9:15 AM
Shitbox Rally Starting Party, 9:30 AM Local Time
(Partly written by @Elizipeazie)
Kaylie set down her copy of Carburetors for Dummies as Tim called out to her, asking if she could help wire up the CB radio. “Of course. Let’s see, you guys are the ones with the Dione, right?”
When Tim nodded, Kaylie smiled. She took the boxed CB radio from him, opening it up and making sure everything was there before heading over to the Dione.
Tim: “Might as well ask since it’s not our equipment and breaking trying to get it in would be a dick move in my opinion.”
The other two are just stood there for now, Constantin contemplating why he even went to join a one man job as the third guy in tow, and Connor generically idling about.
Kaylie nodded. “Yeah, Mal wouldn’t be too happy if someone broke one of the radios trying to install it. I mean, he’s a good person, but, well, between you and me, he really doesn’t know his own strength.”
As she approached the Dione, she saw Constantin nearby, looking like he was lost in thought, and Connor standing next to the car so perfectly still that it was almost eerie. “You didn’t mention you had an android,” Kaylie said, looking at Tim for a moment, then back to Connor. Almost immediately, she spotted the crack in his right forearm. “With battle damage, as well. Bet you’ve seen some stuff,” Kaylie said to Connor, setting the CB radio box on the roof.
“So, once I’ve finished putting this radio in, you want me to see if there’s anything I can do for him? I’ve got spare parts for a Nemean-class combat-grade prosthetic, and I used to fix starships before my brother got us stranded out here,” Kaylie replied, opening the passenger side door of the Dione and climbing inside, grabbing the box off of the roof with her natural right hand.
Tim: “Yeah… Battle damage… definitly not a rage fit from a team member of a past race.”
Redwood remembered what was going on at the dealership lot back then. Connor’s unintentional sassiness made Tonsom lash out against him, landing a good hit against said arm in the process. The mentioning of an android also throws Constantin off-line, now scanning Connor top-to-bottom as well.
Constantin: “Jeez… AI has gone along much faster than i was aware of.”
Connor: “Restoring dexterity to the affected componentry would certainly help. Although compatible spare parts are not readily available, as i am part a pre-production trial-series.”
Connor calmly remarks, not exactly confident in getting any meaningful repairs done.
Kaylie chuckled as Connor mentioned that compatible spare parts weren’t readily available, holding up her own left hand. “Prototype. I understand the lack of spare parts. I’m sure we’ll manage to work something out,” Kaylie said, before using her left hand’s titanium claws to strip some insulation off of a ground wire so she could hook up the radio. “This is where things get to be a bit fun, and I do mean that in the sarcastic way,” Kaylie said, perching the CB radio on top of the dashboard as she grabbed a rubber glove and pulled it on over her left hand. “Found out the hard way back in the Lair that these fuckers have a grounded case, so when I grabbed the radio and tried to hook up the power lead, well… Let’s just say that the Bricksley over there got both of its batteries replaced after that little mishap.”
Now properly protected against accidentally shorting out the Dione’s electrical system, Kaylie stripped back a power lead, wired it into the radio, hooked up the car’s original radio antenna as the CB antenna, and then slid the unit into the dashboard where the factory radio once went. “There we go, that should be everything for the car.”
Kaylie got out of the passenger seat and looked at Connor’s arm. “So, what’s your current range of movement, and how limited is your strength with that arm?”
Constantin and Tim watch Kaylie with great interest, as she more or less is doing what Tim would have though of as well, only sort-of listening to what she is rambling on about.
Connor just goes though his diagnostics and speaks the results aloud, adding missing info as needed.
Connor: “Right Shoulder. Full mobility at 78% power. Right Elbow. Full mobility at zero power. Right Wrist. Limited mobility at zero power. Right hand. Full mobility at zero power. The latter three based on visual inspection as the affected component does not post correctly.”
Tim: “Well i never heard of that one being a thing…”
Constantin: “Spoken self diagnostics that actually work, compared to the crappy troubleshooter of WinDope 10… Neat.”
Valentin does notice and watches what is happening from “afar” (that is; 10 to 15 feet away from the car), avoiding direct contact out of fear.
Kaylie listened to Connor’s diagnostics, nodding slightly as she mentally processed each bit of it. “Most people I know wouldn’t run a component that couldn’t pass a power-on-self-test. So, you have full mobility, but no strength,” Kaylie said after thinking for a few moments.
She popped one of the covers off of her left arm, showing the high-torque electric linear actuators and fiber-optic sensor cables within, glowing faintly with sensor data moving at the speed of light. “Anything seem familiar, or are we working with two radically different kinds of technology here?” Kaylie asked.
Before Connor could really give an answer, Kaylie yelled out to her brother, Kayden, “Hey, Kay, get me the black duffel bag from inside the cab!”
Once Kayden had dropped off the bag and returned to his spot behind the charcoal grill, Kaylie opened it up and started removing items. “I brought the whole spare right arm in case I broke anything,” she said, stopping long enough to put the cover back in place on her left arm, "but I also brought supplies to fix Kayden’s powered armor. These are all external, designed to respond to an input and provide powered response. Between some nanotech armor panels, a few Nemean-class linear actuators, and an external interface device, we might be able to give you a slim-fitting powered exo-frame. Takes your low-torque, high-mobility and amplifies it.”
Upon gaining visibility into Kaylie’s arm, Both Tim and Constantin stare at it in awe, despite not having a clue as to what is in there and how it works. Even Valentin manages to get an, albeit crude, glimpse of the inner workings, which distracts him enough to make him ease up significantly.
Connor also takes a peek inside, taking note of the componentry, which doesn’t seem all too similar to what is used in his own construction.
Connor: “I am not exactly certain what you intend to do.”
He explains, taking the liberty of detaching his own, broken arm elbow-down with aid of the intact one by means of a sort-of quick-release system. On either stump, a set of hoses containing curious blue-ish liquid, some more basic looking connectors, as well as the clamp mechanism holding it in place is revealed. The arm itself turns a semi-glossy white upon removal and is almost fully covered in rather thin plating of that color. He then holds said arm up to Kaylie, as if trying to hand it to her.
Connor: “Maybe this helps in further diagnostics.”
Kaylie took Connor’s right arm in her own right hand, studying it closely. “Hydraulics?” she said, noting the quick-disconnect connectors. “Is it a fluid leak that’s causing your trouble? Because if that’s the case, I can get some hydraulic hoses and make a patch.” Still holding Connor’s disconnected right arm, Kaylie reached into the bag and removed a few pieces of powered armor frame, adjusting the sliding frame to the length of Connor’s forearm. “I mean, I can probably make this plan work, but it’s going to look like someone put you in an elbow brace.”
Kaylie grabbed a few more pieces, setting Connor’s arm on top of the Dione’s roof for a moment as she assembled the bare minimum of the armor frame to provide powered assistance to someone’s right arm, grabbed the control module and plugged it in, and made a few more mild adjustments to the frame she’d set up for Connor. She grabbed another set of spares and built the same frame up around her right arm, plugged a module in, then pulled on the armored glove which was a bit too big for her hand. After turning the module on, she ran it through her full range of motion, then said, “It’s like an exoskeleton. You provide a little movement, this does all the work.”
Kaylie turned off the module, then put the second spare armor frame back in the bag before handing Connor his arm back. “If that fluid’s particularly exotic, I don’t think I can just patch it, but using the armor frame, maybe you’ll have some strength.”
Connor intently watches Kaylie fiddling around with both his own arm and hers.
Connor: “I can confirm that the cause is not a leak in the circulatory system. The flu…”
Tim, in an attempt to be helpful, tries to word what Connor would have said in a way that would be more easily understood by humans. Or… whatever Kaylie was.
Tim: “As far as i know that line is part of what the bloodstream is for humans.”
Connor: “Accurate enough… A mechanical damage limiting signal transmission and bandwidth is the most probable cause.”
Connor takes that arm from the roof and puts it back where it belongs. The arm itself posts correctly as being the arm, though as described earlier, power supply for movement seems to be impaired.
Kaylie nodded. “Right, the fluid is important, but it’s not leaking,” Kaylie said, as Tim and Connor explained their parts of it. “I’ve seen you move it somewhat, so that’s a good sign that what I had in mind might just work.”
Kaylie continued making adjustments, occasionally stopping long enough to get a measurement of Connor’s upper arm before eventually getting things just right. "Okay, this goes on over your arm and all the way up to your shoulder, " Kaylie said, helping Connor put the armor frame on, making sure the elbow was aligned with Connor’s elbow to avoid any, as Kayden would often call them, ‘training injuries.’ Once the frame was in place, Kaylie connected the module and secured it up by Connor’s shoulder.
“Now, I’m going to turn this on. Be careful, the sensitivity can take a little getting used to,” Kaylie said. She turned the power on and stepped back out of arm’s reach just in case, remembering her first moments with the Nemean arm and how she’d nearly wrecked the medical bay when she got out of the hospital bed.
Connor mostly just lets the mounting process happen, not fighting it but also not doing much in aiding it. Once done, he awaits the device being turned on and for Kaylie to be clear of arms reach. After that, he cycles the signal which controls elbow movement. In a state of mild shock, he discovers that, while he already turned down signal power in anticipation, the module seems to expect the rather weak signal coming off of Humanoids. As such, the device goes from fully stretched out to maximum angle in what seems like an instant, imparting substantial momentum onto the remainder of Connor in the process. In reaction, all the others take a step back, being scared off by the unexpected movement speed.
Connor has to dial the signal strength down drastically to achieve a degree of control similar to what he is expecting. He then creates a system device tag flagging the module as an auxiliary Elbow actuator.
Soon after, movements seem to look harmless, if a bit rough on the fine end.
Kaylie chuckled. “You’ll get used to it,” Kaylie said, before grabbing the same armored glove she’d shown off before, removing the armor and taking care as she adjusted it to fit Connor’s hand and fingers. “This will give you some strength back in your hand, and give you back some grip strength. Before I plug these in, you’ll want to turn whatever signals you use down, because while there are hard end-stops, I don’t know if your range of motion and mine are exactly the same.”
Kaylie waited a moment for Connor to make his adjustments, then fitted the frame of the glove to the end of the armor frame before connecting the power and signal lines. This time, she didn’t stand back, instead watching to see if Connor had the full use of his hand.
“So, I learned this trick to test if I had full control of my left hand,” Kaylie said, fishing out a golden coin from her pocket, tossing it over to her left hand, and casually rolling it across her knuckles, the coin clinking against her chrome-plated titanium fingers. “Kayden taught me how to do it, took me two weeks to be able to do this. Twin Suns be damned if I know how he does it with his armor on,” Kaylie said, rolling the coin back over to her left thumb, which she snapped out to flick the coin back over to her right hand, where she then put it away.
Connor once again just held still as Kaylie made the glove fit as well as possible. In the process, he also followed instructions and preemptively dialed signal power waaay down to avoid damaging the hardware.
As Kaylie was pulling out a coin and started fiddling around with it, Connor knew exactly what she was doing. He normally used a very similar method as a means of calibration and preparation for the upcoming mission. But since his own coin was part of his original attire, that too was lost in preparation for the 24 hour clunker run. As such, he simply cycles the various fingers and the wrist do see where the limits of motion are. Tim also knew what Kaylie was on about:
Tim: “You can do Connor’s coin trickery as well?”
He excitedly asks as he fumbles around in his pockets to pull out a 2014 minted quarter-dollar coin, which is handed to Connor, expecting another amazing set of coin trickery. Connor accepts the coin and starts on the known left hand, performing very similar movements Kaylie just did, up until he attempts to fling it over to the right hand. However, Connor fails to catch the coin as it slides through a gap between the index and middle finger caused by the mismatch in hand size. He then goes off to collect the coin and hands it back to a rather disappointed Tim.
“Kayden taught me because he said it was good for making sure my new hand was working correctly,” Kaylie said. “Funnily enough, I can do that better left handed than I can right handed.”
When Tim handed Connor a quarter and Connor rolled it across the knuckles of his left hand, Kaylie smiled. As he tried to toss it over to his right hand, and it fell between the gaps, leaving Tim disappointed, however, Kaylie just shook her head, pulled out the Tigrilan Crown coin she’d messed with earlier, and handed that to Connor instead. “They’re a little bit thicker, a little larger,” Kaylie said. She smiled, understanding that he was likely to study the coin before trying to roll it over his fingers, and that while she knew the coins had an image of one of the many Tigrilan kings on it, the date stamped in the King’s crown (in this case being 5249), and on the tail side, the denomination written in their native language as being “One Golden Crown” with an image of the Twin Suns rising over a forest, she knew that it would be knew to Connor. She also was rather aware of how much it was worth, that if the coin’s monetary value were converted through elemental gold first, that one coin was worth $160, but she didn’t really care in that moment. If it worked to help Connor adjust, in her eyes, it was a very small price to pay.
Connor, as expected, takes the coin and closely examines it. He concludes that it must me either some highly valuable movie prop or a collectors item of sorts.
Connor: “Thank you”
He quickly remarks as he holds to coin to readjust the process to the added weight and inertia of the larger Tigrilan Crown. Then, he restarts the process on the left, again without much in the way of difficulty. The coin zipps over to the right and manages to stay there, although the catch still was rather sloppy by Connor near-perfect standards. The knuckle-rolling was also much slower on the right than on the left, indicating lack of training with the newly installed movement aid. The still stiff native wrist joint may also play a part. Tim and Constantin are stood there, smiling in delight at the fact that Kaylie managed to, at least sort of, fix Connor’s woes. Valentin meanwhile lost interest and is digging about the trunk, cleaning up some wiring visually and playing some Tetris with whatever is back there to conserve space.
Once done with the procedure, which has taken a little more than a minute rather than 20 seconds, he holds up an open palm containing Kaylies coin.
Connor: “I appreciate your assistance in restoring partial mobility.”
Tim: “Absolutely! Thanks a lot for helping!!”
Constantin nods in a respectful manner, also showing his appreciation for the work done.
“Not a problem,” Kaylie said, picking up the heavy duffel bag with her left hand, slinging the strap up onto her metal shoulder. “Keep the coin, I have plenty of them. I mean, I could go bother Malavera if you want a Galactic Standard Credit, but they’re about the same size, and annoyingly, they’re not round. Eleven-sided coins,” she added. “If you guys need my help in the Rally, let me know. I’m getting better at fixing internal combustion engines.”
Kaylie wandered back over to the Bricksley, propping herself back up on the tailgate and going back to her book, which was going into detail about vacuum secondaries.
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Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures, Part 2 - At Least We Don’t Have to Shit in a Box.
Shitbox Rally Starting Party - 10:AM Local Time.
Machinas Con Passione. It’s a marque known for many things. Things such as a flagrant disregard for any standard of common sense, and for Giacomo forgetting things that anybody with a half functioning brain should have thought of. For example? Giacomo had packed exactly no food provisions. It was this lack of food provisions that led to the current predicament that Giacomo found himself in, a munity.
“Okay, so let me get this straight. The NICK JONAS CASSETE RIP was put on a higher priority than FOOD AND BASIC NECESSITIES?”
It seemed that Maria had checked the provisions to see that they were, put nicely, kind of stupid.
“I’m more amazed you got her to talk in the first place. She doesn’t say much other than “ZZZ” back at the clinic.” Dover remarked. Seems like he wasn’t terribly bothered by the prospect of eating dirt for the next few weeks.
“Honestly, I can’t tell between me and Giacomo who the bigger clown is. Sure, he’s… Um. Giacomo. But I agreed to this crap. I used to drive for Hyundai’s factory team man!” Thibault, meanwhile, was in the middle of an existential crisis.
“I think you guys are overlooking the great opportunity we have here.” McChad, cool as ever, proceeded to plunge his hand into the sand, and dug up a few beetles for a snack. Upon witnessing this, Maria began to regret being born in the first place.
“Ok. Alright. So maybe we make a few mistakes in preparing. We should look on the bright side! We have a Mustang pulling us!” Giacomo, ever the people person, tried to rally his crew together by looking on the bright side. And, all things considered, Mustang engines are pretty cool. Everyone loves a good V8, right?
McChad meandered over to the engine, popped the hood, and gave the engine a once-over.
“Giacomo. This is the V6. Nobody likes a V6 Mustang. It’s like if you had ice cream but without the cream.” And alas, Giacomo’s last thread of goodwill was eradicated.
Maria pulled Dr. Dover to the side.
M: “Look. I know we need to lay low for a bit, but I think I would prefer whatever murder methods the mob has planned for us, than to spend an entire rally with… that guy.”
As she pointed him out, Giacomo had already begun harassing other teams for their food supply, while Thibault followed his nose to Team Slow’s Hot Dog barbeque.
Dr. Dover, however, had resigned himself to his fate a long time ago, and was noticeably mentally checked out.
D: “Look. It’s not so bad right? I mean, we get a free vacation. That’s pretty rad!”
M: “No, seriously, I would prefer to be waterboarded. I’m about to steal the van and get the hell outta here.”
D: "Waterboarded? You think there’s any water around here? Cause if there is, waterboarding is pretty low on my list of priorities, but, y’know, you do you I guess.
Alas, Maria realized she may be the only person on this team with an IQ higher than 1.
M: “You know what, forget it. I can catch a whiff of some pot from here. I’m gonna try to get high off of the secondhand smoke.”
D: “Oh please, I have better stuff than mere pot. I’m Benjamin Dover, M.D!”
M: “Like?”
D: “Eh… Only Morphine. I feel like getting high on all of it without at least being in a life threatening situation would be a waste. You go on and try to get high.”
And so, Machinas Con Passione have split up! You’d think they would have done this before going on the multiple hour long road trip to the middle of nowhere. Oh well. They’re going to make up before the rally starts anyway.
Part 2 - Fin
Oh my! The definitely not overly exploited trope of the main characters splitting up before something important happens in the plot! How horrific!
Anyway, if somebody has the patience to want to interact with the only team with a collective iq of 40, consider the green flag waved, it’d be pretty fun for me to see how MCP would interact with other teams.
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Damn, I missed that you used a V6, speaking of 90s Mustangs and briefly looking at a V engine of course made me presume a 4.6…have to change my RP I guess, LOL
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I actually meant to go into further detail about the engine that I used. I used the Ford Essex V6 as a base, but completely forgor 
to even bring that up while I was describing the engine since I was in a rush, and didn’t realize until after the fact that I’d forgotten to elaborate on it. Either way, it helps prove the point that V8s and Mustangs are made for each other lol
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More that I could not see why anyone would bother with a V6 swap, haha, but I guess I should have looked more closely at the headers.
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Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Entries Closed!) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen
This is reply to last part
MCP meetup
Good news everyone
Pi is checked and our doctors (which still smell like piss bcos of fight in last part; good thing my nose isnt too sensitive) concluded she is in solid condition…for now atleast.
We are staying idle at the moment, but something attracted our attention.
Seems one of our new friends, kind of ones we havent interacted yet, was going around and seemed to need something.
Naturally, Pi was interested to check, but seemed that he was heading our way anyway.
Someone from one of late-arrived teams had indeed closed distance.
Not too much tho, as he saw two very big dogs and Pi, which are scary and downright disgusting from his view.
VerBanka had asked, since she is best looking individual by long shot (ok ok, that and fact she is least intimidating) and got answer that he was looking for food for his team.
Pi, disgusting-looking being she is, approached.
“We havent seen you before. Therefore, offer. We can give out some biscuits we have and you show us your team.
I just want to talk to more ppl.”
Person who introduced himself as Giacomo, wasnt amused by this thing…at all.
Mrdja had decided that he too might be interested in checking out other team.
Decision was made that we would like to move in a car and park beside white van he pointed at as their vehicle.
Problem had been revealed
- Someone decided that moving a car might waste some precious fuel
Pi had found a solution in getting straps, strapping her to front of car and she could d
At some point, Prosper had returned to rest of team just to witness some botched up human (?) pulling a dark blue pickup with equally botched up camper extension.
To his likely horror, creature was pulling in their direction, until it fell down.
Some big dogs had appeared from behind, unlatching the creature and one of them took over temporarely, stopped when rear of car was about level with creature, then yeeted creature in the back with absolutely no regards for its safety.
Finally the car stopped beside theirs and few unknown figures had exited it.
“We are team Mravolinski-Chitco. Returning one of your members and decided to get to know your team.
Also decided to give you some biscuits we happened to carry. Aint much, but technically qualifies as food.”
Klimentol, STILL SMELLING LIKE PISS, really gave out solid impression.
McCool thought this might be good chance to check out what competition brings to the place.
He likely expected some big V8 under hood with lot of displacement and power, was warned that reality can be dissapointing, still asked to see the motor.
Reality was very dissapointing and thats putting it lightly.
Mr. Prospect would easily deduce this might be far from fastest competitor anyway.
“I think i havent destroyed my legs entirely!”
“Oh my, you dare to think? Try getting yourself here.”
Pi exited the back, trembling.
“I feel im not in solid condition anymore. Anyway, it was my idea for getting here, so i may as well decide to go all the way.
Im sure you have some questions.
I would appreciate if you decide to listen, despite my looks and admitedly smarts.
Im aware of obvious questions and would answer them right away”
Dogs growled to each other when question about their smell was brought up in all languages avaiable to them now, including ones avaiable via rings.
Dr. Dover was interested in this strange creature for exactly the reason of her looks, while his assistant wasnt keen to exit the vehicle.
Mrdja: "We have met two Marias so far. Seems thats probably most popular name. I also know few…females with such name: My classmate from primary school that nears 24y old just like me and some 9y old girl from family both bear this name, although spelled Marija (and said like in English).
Oh, i knew some granma with that name too. She passed away tho.
Edit: Oh, @SurrealCereal if you wish to expand on this from point of view of your characters feel free to do so.
Team they encountered here is assembled of few normal-looking people (tallest one of these is robot but i feel that wasnt indicated in here)
We have few big dogs that smell like they were pissed on recently.
And Pi is likely Giacomo’s least favourite bcos of her strange build and botched up looks.
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Team Shift Happens
Previous Chapters:
Let’s Get This Party Started / First Arrivals - Starting Party 6 AM
Making Friends? - Starting Party 7 AM
A Moment in Time - Starting Party 7:30 AM
Another Team Arrives / War Songs in the Camp - Starting Party 8 AM
A Grand Reveal / An Army of Soda Cans - Starting Party 8:30 AM
Drivers’ Meeting - Starting Party 9 AM
A Request for Help - Starting Party 9:15 AM
A Helping Hand - Starting Party 9:30 AM
Shitbox Rally Starting Party - 12:00 Noon Local Time
“It’s time, everyone,” Kaylie said, raising her voice above the music to get everyone’s attention.
Rukari stood up along with Kivenaal, the two of them quickly assembling their makeshift plastic mirror. “This will only be a brief look into Crugandr,” Rukari warned, grabbing one of Kivenaal’s right hands, focusing intensely on his magic, and placing his other hand on the plastic.
Immediately, a ripple shot through the plastic, like a stone thrown in a calm pond, before the whole sheet fogged up like a bathroom mirror. As the fog faded, the mirror no longer reflected the desert back at them, but instead showed all of them a glimpse into Jaduvira, one of the major port cities of Crugandr. To the right, there were the docks with sailing ships anchored there, flags waving in a gentle breeze. To the left, a giant iguana pulled a carriage down a cobblestone road, In the distance, a steam locomotive sat there, gently fuming from the funnel as the bright green paint gleamed in the sun, several coaches settled behind it, just waiting to be pulled away. Then, just as the mirror started to fog up, they could see someone approaching rapidly, every left step ringing out with a metallic clink against the cobblestone road, staff in hand, black robe swirling around him. This lion-man had a vicious looking scar on his face that crossed over his right eye, with dark brown fur and a heavy black mane, as well as his fairly obvious magical prosthetic leg made of a blackened, treated steel with brass plating and dark walnut accents. He saw an opportunity and dove through the mirror, rolling out across the dirt on the other side just before the fog filled the frame and the mirror closed.
“Well, that was more excitement than I’d expected,” the lion said, panting heavily. “Name’s Jayde Malradi.” As he stood up and brushed the dirt off of his robe, it became quite obvious that he was quite tall and rather well-built, especially for someone with wizard robes on. Clearing 8 feet, 5 inches in height, and weighing nearly 400 pounds in mostly muscle, he was definitely anything but small, and his black robes gave him a slightly-menacing appearance at a glance.
“Well, Jayde, that was a damned impressive entrance,” Kaylie said, crossing her arms, “but we’ll need to know why you were running like you antagonized a fortress of soldiers and had them running after you.”
“I kicked a hole in a nest of bees!” Jayde grumbled. “Thought the stump would be a good place to sit while I read through another book of spells, kicked it to make sure it wasn’t rotten, and instead kicked a hole in it. Then the bees came pouring out of that hole. I hate getting stung, so I ran.”
“So, you’re not in trouble, then?” Kayden asked.
“No. I saw an open mirror and I know bees don’t like going through mirrors, so I took a chance. So, where in the Name of the Rift am I?”
“Nevada, the United States of America. A quaint little bit of nowhere called the Mojave Desert,” Malavera said.
“Wait… That’s not in Aetherii, is it?” Jayde asked. When Rukari shook his head, Jayde groaned. “Great. This is why you don’t run through random portals, Jayde, because you’ll end up somewhere weird,” he grumbled to himself. That’s about the time he noticed the cars. “Weirdest carriages I’ve ever seen.”
“They pull themselves,” Kaylie said proudly.
“You should come with us. It’s not safe for you wander around here in that,” Rukari said, motioning to Jayde’s wizard robe.
“Says the Valraadi in black leather armor and a giant purple cloak,” Jayde countered. “Though the stripes seem familiar. I knew a Murlocke Khakrin-Barukh, had stripes that looked almost exactly the same.”
“He is my Xelthien,” Rukari replied proudly.
“Right, so your father is Murlocke, the Chosen of Yawli, your goddess of justice and war. What’s your name?”
“Rukari Khakrin-Veldrothan,” Rukari replied.
Jayde stood there for a few seconds, his brain only now putting together all the information. “How in the Name of the Rift does Valraadi royalty end up all the way out here?!” Jayde practically shouted.
“I walked Nelehnraad,” Rukari mentioned, giving a light smile.
Jayde groaned. “Looks like I’m coming with you guys, then, on your adventure.” He looked over and saw Kivenaal standing there, two tails twitching idly as he smirked, seeing Jayde’s realization that he was going to join them on this run. “What’s so funny?” Jayde asked.
“Not much,” Kivenaal said. “First time I’ve seen someone actually recognize Rukari as being the son of the Empress. Usually he has to tell people that.”
“So, who are you, then?” Jayde asked.
“Kivenaal Khakrin-Marinseien. I’m… Not from your time,” Kivenaal replied.
“Meaning?” Jayde inquired.
“Where you are from near the beginning, before the Second War, I come from near the end, days before the Fall. Same world, thousands of years apart,” Kivenaal admitted.
Jayde stared at Kivenaal for a few long minutes. “That’s… I’d say impossible, but then again, I jumped through a mirror into another world. The amount of magic it would take… The age you’d have to be… I lost five years to a forbidden time spell to redo events of the past, aged ten years in total.”
“Yes, and Rukari comes from after the Second War of Magic, but knowing him didn’t make you think maybe, just maybe, you went backward in time?” Kivenaal asked.
“I didn’t know this was possible,” Jayde admitted. “So, how is all of this going to work, then?
Kaylie smiled and showed the rather tall Leoni over to the Bricksley. “You get the middle seat in the rear bench. That’s because this seat with all the techno-trash over it is mine, and that side is Kayden’s seat because he’ll complain if he doesn’t get a window seat. You’ve met Kivenaal, the Valraadi with four arms, he sits in the passenger seat most times, but he knows how to drive, too. Rukari’s the other driver. Malavera’s the two-headed wolf who told you where you ended up, and he’s here as another navigator and driver, though he’s going to howl when he finds out he’s going to have to sit mid-front-bench. It’s going to suck for him having to not mess with the gear levers.”
“So, will the five of you be needing any magical assistance?” Jayde asked.
“Probably. What can you do?” Kaylie inquired.
“Well, I studied for 8 years at Tendragon Academy in basic magic, so I can do field repairs of most things, I know some combat magic, I can open the Rift and open mirrors, and I know a handful of utility spells. I also trained under a Vipiri Storm-Rattler in weather magic, so I can manipulate the weather, but she really focused on my ability to throw lightning. I completed my ten years at Tendragon Academy afterward, and also studied at Kamwerth Academy of the Arcane in Crugandr,” Jayde explained. “Also, I suppose I do know a few healing spells, though nothing particularly powerful.”
“If I might ask, how’d you lose the leg?” Kaylie asked.
“I fought in the battle of Aray Bay. Big airship battle over the Mirror Gallery. Technically, I was there twice. First time, I got hit by a bit of steam pipe shrapnel,” Jayde said, motioning to the scar on his face, “and two chunks of wood in my leg. A handle from the ship’s wheel, and a piece of propeller. Passed out on the deck, woke up with most of my leg gone. Spent the next half a year learning how to walk again with an enchanted left leg. The second time, thanks to some time travel magic, I was able to prevent any further injury to my other self by throwing a jar of sentient fire into the other airship. Now, how did you lose your arm?”
Kaylie grimaced, though it was a fair question. “My brothers were having a mock battle in space, Jaden accidentally had the weapons turned on, hit Malavera’s ship with a stray shot, and let a bit of the air out of his station. I got caught in a fast-closing bulkhead door and it, well, practically amputated it for me. Jaden, the smaller of my two brothers despite being older, was working on something he called ‘Project Nemean,’ some sort of combat-ready drone or maybe it was always meant to be a limb replacement, but because of my size, I matched a normal male Leoni enough to fit the arm. And yes, it’s a bitch dealing with my left arm being just a bit bigger than my right, but I’ve managed. Though, I have to say, you’re easily the biggest Leoni I’ve seen.”
Jayde gave a grim chuckle and said, “There’s a reason for that, and let’s just say I didn’t enjoy it at all.” This close to him, Kaylie could see that Jayde’s robe was not actually fabric, but was instead some form of leather.
“What is that made from?” she asked.
“Dragon hide. Thin, strong, relatively light. Stupidly expensive, but it’s saved my life a few times,” Jayde admitted. He reached up to get a better look at Kaylie’s radio stack, only for her to grab his hand in her left hand and firmly push it away from the dials and switches.
“Please don’t,” Kaylie said. “I know, it’s instinct to find out how something works by messing with it, but some of these controls could get our little group in a lot of trouble if you flip the wrong switch.”
“Ah. Some things your guards won’t appreciate, then, in the box of magic,” Jayde replied.
“About the best way to think of it. Right, let’s get you back out there, I know this truck is a bit warm, and we can’t run the air conditioning without the engine on, so better to not be sitting inside it,” Kaylie said. She got out of the truck and took the opportunity to see just how well Jayde got around with his mechanical leg. To her surprise, it was amazingly close to what she suspected he could have done before losing the limb, and that this seemingly-crude (by her standards, at least) black metal and brass leg might actually be better for Jayde than her left arm was for her.
Kayden chuckled as he saw Jayde and Kaylie together. He knew his sister had a thing for Leoni in general, and now they had Jayde on their team, one of the biggest Leoni he’d ever seen, if not actually the biggest. He got up, grabbed the cooler from the back of the truck, then said, “Team Shift Happens, get your asses over here so we can get some steaks done for lunch!”
Soon, six thick, juicy steaks were done, with Malavera graciously giving one of his up to Jayde so he could have something to eat as well. Jayde was surprised that even with such advanced technology as the cars, they still used fire to cook meat, though he wasn’t going to complain as he bit into the smoky grilled steak. Kaylie managed to bend another steak knife with her left hand before resorting to using her titanium claws to cut bites of meat. Kivenaal and Rukari were practically ravenous after opening the mirror, and their steaks vanished quickly. Malavera ate slowly, enjoying his meal, the last steak he’d have on Earth for a while. Kayden enjoyed his steak as well, just glad that they had an opportunity to share a meal as a team before the event really got started.
(OOC: So, I’ve had a question or two regarding how we’re going to get to Crugandr. We’ve just seen how mirrors work, being instant transportation from one point to the other, though to open a mirror across such a distance is incredibly energy-consuming. To save energy, we will open a doorway to the Rift when the time comes, which will serve as Stage 0. We’ll be traveling as a convoy, so everyone gets the same time, but I haven’t decided yet (by coin flip) whether we get a short or a long trip. This journey will take several hours for us. If someone had faster-than-light communications both on Earth and in Crugandr, however, it would appear to them as if our journey was instant. If you’ve played Minecraft, think of Rift-Walking as being a non-dangerous version of the Nether. Travel a certain distance there, travel a greater distance in the overworld. Same thing, bigger scale, non-linear time and distance requirements.)
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Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Team info: 2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Entries Closed!) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen
This is reply to last part of story.
Supply stacking
and oh my,
Witchlight is definitely packing
It becomes fairly obvious that there are two or three important things to know
- We might want to get even more clothes for VerBanka and myself to adjust for potential very hot/very cold climate we might encounter
- This MCP team we parked beside would most likely require lot of helping - by this point we realized good bunch of them isnt particularly bright.
- Team Shift Happens seems to get a new member.
Oh also
- Ye, Pi definitely needs repairs now
Order of action seems to be returning to our previous position to tent hosts placed for us, then obtaining clothing and…stuff necessary for fixing up Pi.
Some van had arrived with said supplies
Rear in incorrect color
Front
Side view (stats are outdated)
Which brought stuff we need
Ones that need clothing were also responsible for managing where said clothing would be, while Chicota was adding stuff to doctors while they did necessary adjustments on Pi.
This lasted for solid amount of time, but eventually, two of us had finished packing clothes
Ok, in my case, its less packing clothes and more throwing in in compartment and pushing it inside. VerBanka’s clothes that could reasonably be ironed were ironed and those were properly packed
Patient, that now received lot of adjustments, decided to head to yet another team we may saw. When we met giant lizard-man on our way to get CB radio, two of us did, in fact, look back and watch him get near some very big sedan.
This time, our car stayed on its position and we walked up to these.
Exactly this member was actually one we first encountered this time as well.
Pi and him had squared up
Klimentol: Pi, there is no need for that. (To lizard-man) Same goes for you. We intend to meet your team, not fight with you.
Other members of this Witchlight team would wait for seven of us, including their friend.
We are informed that Ambay isnt really very friendly, but, for purposes of protection of his team, he is about perfect.
Rest of talking would be done by rest anyway, rest composed of two humans and (apparently) human-like demon
(Remember, we are not aware of Kira’s fox form and to be honest, there are lot of IRL people lacking in height, so Finne also doesnt provide anything too new looks-wise here.)
Elist has presented themselves, being most likely to talk with this sextet.
Elist is also first individual we encountered who prefer gender-neutral pronouns, which took some getting used to.
This team very quickly showed that, indeed, they dont come from Earth and more importantly, arent very familiar with how stuff works around here.
Some explanations were sure to be asked for and our team was trying to give good answers to them.
They are way more capable team than MCP team they last encountered, but potential lack of preparation, mostly related to entirely stock vehicle, wasnt assuring.
Atleast car looked nice and, probably most important, Ambay can fit into it.
On remark of it being “haunted” and likely used for transporting ppl in…lets say less than ideal shape, Klimentol noted:
“Yeah, we here tend to fight with each other WAAAY too much.”
Ambay seemed to be rather amused by this particular observation, which was neat chance to explain his reasons for joining the team.
“Ye, can see how he might be useful.
Not to mention that he seems strong enough to help in pushing, lifting or pulling the vehicle if said vehicle gets stuck. Thats lot of car, but he is also lot of person.”
After some more small-talk, our team returned to our vehicle, having made some new friends of sort.
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RK Series Racing; Pre-Race Camp; Part 4
As soon as Kaylie was out of earshot, the team assembles, with Valentin returning to the remainder of the group up front. The rings are distributed and Valentin catches up on what was explained in the driver meeting. The rings are distributed among the members, with some shuffling around between the four, as the rings are unlabeled and made to fit one of them each. Some discussion about how they will spend their nights follows soon after, in which it is agreed that Tim and Valentin will sleep within the car, Connor, as always, will be “parked” in the immediate vicinity with Constantin setting up his carry-on Campsite somewhere nearby.
At about noon, it is announced that the sneak peek into the other world will be shown. All four are staring at the crude PVC pipework in cautious excitement, before said pipework displays the other end of the interdimensional Window.
Valentin: “So THAT’s where we’ll be going?”
Tim: “Sure looks like it…”
Constantin: “What is this place? The 1920s? Obnoxiously painted Steam Engines, sailing ships. Lizard-Drawn Carriages!?”
Tim: “Damn… seems like those people surely bred those fuckers to be massive.”
Similar semi-serious banter follows for another 10-ish minutes. Connor is trying to make sense of the situation, with little success, especially about their replacement for horses. Still, most of the party accepts the shown environment as-is, with each member having their own cuirosities about how their society and infrastructure works. At some point, the window closes and the host team starts talking to someone who apparently just arrived there. At that point, the team loses interest and returns to “preparing” (read: waiting and doing jackshit) for the journey. Only Constantin uses the spare time to figure out a way to use the Dione for a shelter roof mounting point.
OOC: imma leave this here and wait for the 3PM and maybe 6PM writeups
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