CSR 140 - (You're) Having My Baby [RESULTS OUT]

Community Challenges & Competitions
145

yes, yes they are.

8 Likes
146

Dammit balls are blue now

147

I expect my binning next… after seeing other entries, my interior is very very basic

148
TIER 2.1 DECISION MAKING
More highly important family skills.
If you haven't talked to someone in a while, just do it! They might miss you!

nagatoro enjoyer

Kaufmann Schimare

@Xepy

I’ve sat in one before actually
ery nice
The interior design is pretty cool

MaruMaruKon~

how does it drive

nagatoro enjoyer

it’s like your typical over engineered luxury crossover nowadays
effortless to drive and comfy rides

MaruMaruKon~

hmm I think I’ll consider it

nagatoro enjoyer

oh btw
fun fact
when I drove it
there was a vtuber doujin in the glovebox

Dropping_Suisei

who was the vtuber and does it come with the car

nagatoro enjoyer

I dunno, from homolive or something
maybe it’s an option
you can prolly find it in the configurator

Dropping_Suisei

tags?

nagatoro enjoyer

vanilla
and
uhhhhhh

Dropping_Suisei

oh nice

MaruMaruKon~

if that’s the case then I definitely need to get it (edited)

SpaceBoy2020

Aren’t you married already?

nagatoro enjoyer

wait theres more

Dropping_Suisei

oh no

SpaceBoy2020

inb4 NTR

Dropping_Suisei

how can it be NTR if its already vanilla

SpaceBoy2020

i mean it might be like two chapters of separate NTR and vanilla

MaruMaruKon~

we’re gonna get banned off the forum if we keep talking about this

nagatoro enjoyer

oh
ok anyway

Dropping_Suisei

forum?

SpaceBoy2020

can you stop breaking the 4th wall

MaruMaruKon~

oh right

nagatoro enjoyer

Sunnet OVO

@just4

Detailed

the image says it all

no i’m not sizing this image to fit fuck off

for this one
I’m just going to quote the C&L article
“The driving reminds us of the 80’s turbo age, where the management of your right foot is crucial”

SpaceBoy2020

how so
does it make 800hp out of a 2 liter or something

nagatoro enjoyer

quite a laggy turbo
lemme finish the quote
“With such cars, you anticipate a reward in the form of a strong kick in your back as the car accelerates like a rocket, here though, once you get to the optimal RPM, the car just accelerates like any other car in the segment. The only difference is that before you reach that RPM, the car does nothing”

MaruMaruKon~

well I don’t intend to have a group B car as my daily
so I think we’ll skip this one

nagatoro enjoyer

as for this next one
I think we can just skip this

Manda Havoque EKO-HX

@RAZR

Detailed

Pretty much the most expensive engine internals you could fit, Alu block/AlSi head, bad turbo spool for specific power output
MPEFi, ITB Performance intake, Hi flow cat and all straight through exhaust (42.6 loudness), 95 spacing, staggered tyres by 10
mm, what’s even the point in that, 6 piston vented front 370mm, solid disc 1 piston 370mm rear with 10 compound brake pads
50/50 brake bias, no ESC, solid axle coil rear suspension, I need a break.

MaruMaruKon~

why
it looks pretty good

nagatoro enjoyer

just listing a few of its issues
front 6 piston brake and rear 1 piston brake
doesn’t have ESC
mushy brake pedal feel
laggy turbo
and get this
solid rear axle

MaruMaruKon~

oh
also have you noticed our typing style changing as the reviews go on

SpaceBoy2020

oh
anyway, something something real offroader for real man

@Dropping Suisei
nagatoro enjoyer

h
well another one bites the bin
next

GMI Artevia VQS

@LinkLuke

Detailed

high price, one of the lowest comfort and questionable styling lands it in the bin. It has very high sport, but remember, Marko already has a sports car, so comfort and practicality take much higher priorities. Other stats such ass offroad and reliability are quite low too

yeah this one doesn’t look so good either

SpaceBoy2020

what are those headlights
it has the biggest projector I’ve ever seen

nagatoro enjoyer

A frogge is a little beaste with four legges

MaruMaruKon~

those headlights look like my eyes when emilia bends down and smirks

SpaceBoy2020

oh

nagatoro enjoyer

oh
ok
I know that you have emmy
but please
stop flexing
too much pain for me
unbearable pain
mfw no adorable blonde
fuck the gif wont send

MaruMaruKon~

ok and
cry about it
you literally had a chance with that girl at the maid cafe
stupid
also embed fail dx

SpaceBoy2020

shaking and crying rn

nagatoro enjoyer

same

Dropping_Suisei

who pinged me

SpaceBoy2020

where were you

Dropping_Suisei

I was rolling gacha on azure collection
got a 4 star
feelin happy rn
Laffey is so cute frfrfr, her twintails just add to her cuteness
new secretary ship
i mean she’s not Nagakaze but this works too, i can wait for tanlines later
hoping to get Albacore or U-511 next tho, both very cute and the other is blonde

nagatoro enjoyer

.

MaruMaruKon~

. (edited)

Dropping_Suisei

what

SpaceBoy2020

there are two types of men

nagatoro enjoyer

anyways
this one apparently also suffers from turbo lag
and not very comfortable
and it uses a unique sized tire that ends in 0 instead of 5, so there aren’t that many choices if you want to buy snow tires for it
it has almost 500hp tho

MaruMaruKon~

I already have a performance car
don’t need that much power

nagatoro enjoyer

true
well, next

Mara Kavaler X-WagonS

@AndiD

Detailed

On paper, the stats actually aren’t that bad, with high comfort, low service cost and great fuel eco. However, even before we get into the looks, a 4.0 DOHC V8, making 230hp, in 2020, really? In the looks department, yes it’s a wagon and not a SUV, but a cross wagon can work here. Except that this one doesn’t work well, the ride height is jacked so high, and the offroad stat isn’t even that great. Look at pictures of irl cross wagons, like an A4 allroad, they don’t have wheel arch filled with void like that. You could’ve at least added some plastic cladding. Overall design is pretty poor too, there was an attempt at being modern, but the vanilla fixture slap and the complete absence of molding make this entry stray away from what we’re looking for.

this one doesn’t have much to do with being stylish
but it’s in the utility market
so

Dropping_Suisei

isn’t that just a wagon, except that it’s jacked up to the point of looking unnatural

SpaceBoy2020

not a very good looking wagon either
is that a bullbar?
or is it just a grill thing that looks like one?

nagatoro enjoyer

the wheel arch is so empty too
speaking of empty
there’s just not much to look at here isn’t it

MaruMaruKon~

yeah no lmao

nagatoro enjoyer

apparently it’s comfy enough and cheap to maintain
but yeah let’s just move on

Dàfēng TX5 35T

@mart1n2005

This next one, uhhhh
It looks quite flat to me
and body shape is chubby for my taste

SpaceBoy2020

hmm
I think it looks alright for me
the proportions seem alright for a crossover nowadays

MaruMaruKon~

what does C&L say about this

nagatoro enjoyer

iirc it’s about middle of the pack
doesn’t have much that stands out, but no issues either

MaruMaruKon~

aight
I’ll consider it for now ig

nagatoro enjoyer

man
even Turbol made a coupe SUV

TurbĂłl Coupe k3 2.8t

@donutsnail

this thing looks
uhhh
imposing
there are quite some things to look at

Dropping_Suisei

It’s a bit too much for me
the body shape seems odd to me
you have the C pillar that goes into a rear deck like a sedan
but then the rear end just drops down vertically
the spoiler kinda saves it but yeah this car isn’t my thing

SpaceBoy2020

I think the design that it placed on the car looks alright
it’s not the most modern and clean design here
but it kinda works for me
but I can see why you wouldn’t like it

nagatoro enjoyer

It’s one of the highest scoring cars in the C&L closed road comfort test tho
it also has really good control behavior and one of the best in this segment when it comes to offroad trails
yeah I think you need to book a test drive for this

MaruMaruKon~

yeah
sounds like it can work for me

nagatoro enjoyer

anyways
the next one looks alright
but

Kosmo GX7 4ST

@the-chowi

Detailed

Even with eLSD, this car has only 61.4 drivability, which is about 20 off from ideal. Yes it has DCT instead of auto, but the tuning is also quite off too with the engine and brakes, and other DCT entries have much much higher drivability than this. Other stats don’t make up for it either, in fact many are below average. Also a thing to note, you used the “K” badge from the community logo pack, but that badge belongs to another brand actually, and that badge pack is basically requests of custom logo badges from existing brands.

C&L has a lot to say about it

SpaceBoy2020

some places are a bit odd or clunky
but it looks alright to me

Dropping_Suisei

hold on
why are the headlights a solid block of white DRL thing
where are the actual lights

nagatoro enjoyer

oh those are just the DRLs and indicators
the actual projectors are in the housing below it
it’s a pretty common thing on modern cars nowadays
surprised that you didn’t know it

MaruMaruKon~

hold on

what is that interior color lmao
look I’m proud to be an american citizen but I’m not that proud
yeah nah that is way too flashy to me

nagatoro enjoyer

maybe it’s supposed to be french idk
anyways back to the C&L reviews that I mentioned
apparently the turbo RPM in which the turbo spools is not as bad as some of the ones we saw before
but the reviewer says that the turbo kicks in very hard, so it’s also very undrivable
he also mentioned that the ABS kicks in very often and abruptly
either the ABS calibration is off or it’s just the all season tires not grippy enough for the powerful brakes on this thing
oh yeah this thing has the lowest score on the handling impressions test on their test track
citing a lack of drivability

MaruMaruKon~

how’s the comfort and stuff

nagatoro enjoyer

not great either

MaruMaruKon~

yeah nah
just go to the next one

nagatoro enjoyer
OZ Menace

@flammeneis

Detailed

for your first CSR outing I would say this is a good showing. The design is odd at places but overall clean and modern, although each host has different opinions on it. Stats are just average, but the real reason for the bin is the crazy service cost, as mentioned in the writing, almost twice as much of some other entries here

this looks so odd to me
like what is that lower facia

nagatoro enjoyer

this looks so odd to me
like what is that lower facia

SpaceBoy2020

It’s probably just the paint idk
the lights seem very modern and nicely designed to me at least
it does seem a bit odd tho
can’t pinpoint on where

MaruMaruKon~

yeah I’m a bit torn over the looks too
how does it drive

nagatoro enjoyer

the test results are all alright
but it’s probably the best you just skip it if you ask me

MaruMaruKon~

why

nagatoro enjoyer

you see
this car has one of the lowest satisfaction % on C&L’s survey on customers
because the cost of servicing is really high
on C&L’s long term test iirc the total servicing cost is almost double some cars in this segment

MaruMaruKon~

low satisfaction huh
I guess people don’t really research about service pricings when they buy a car

nagatoro enjoyer

now that I think of it
the total servicing cost is actually approaching the GT Sport on the long term test
I think it’s lower by a bit

MaruMaruKon~

that is
a bit yikes
yeah there are plenty more to consider than this

Arion Polaris 340S

@Aruna

like this one
dam even Arion made a coupe SUV
didn’t their CEO dislike SUV or something
what money does to a mf

nagatoro enjoyer

what money does to a mf

having a Sendo and blonde irl waifu is what money does to a mf

SpaceBoy2020

not relatable

MaruMaruKon~

it doesn’t look as luxury as the other modern Arions
but I guess it makes sense since this is at a pretty reasonable price point

nagatoro enjoyer

it’s actually on the expensive side by a bit in all of the cars here
although it scores pretty well in all the tests
comfort is one of the highest here
yea

MaruMaruKon~

yea
add this one into the considerations

nagatoro enjoyer

for the next one
it’s listed as a SUV
but

Voltari SpĂĽr RS-Line 3.2T AWD

@vero94773

it kind of
looks like a MPV?

MaruMaruKon~

hmmm
it is any good offroad
also that name is IKEA-tier
BLÅHAJ headass

nagatoro enjoyer

reviews says it’s actually pretty decent
not the best here, but not bad at all
maybe the air suspension can lift the car up or something idk
what do you think of the styling btw

MaruMaruKon~

it’s not the stylish SUV coupe roofline thing I’m thinking of
but this kind of clean stuff is good too
very north europe / scandavanian design
I like
it looks spacious too

nagatoro enjoyer

yeah low floor means that it got a really high practicality score

Dropping_Suisei

so if you care about interior space and practicality
why not just get a minivan

MaruMaruKon~

because
uhh
uhhh
uhhh
that one time we go on dirt trails for camping or something
and uhh idk snow weather

nagatoro enjoyer

you live in florida lmao

SpaceBoy2020

man really is a baller now

MaruMaruKon~

ok and
also does this have the best in class safety or something

nagatoro enjoyer

I think some other cars got a slightly higher rating
but yeah all of them are basically hovering around 5 stars anyways
btw this car is also rated highly on the C&L
so you prolly do want to consider it

MaruMaruKon~

yeah

Message #the-boys-and-we

gacha apologist moment
next bins coming whenever i’m able to come again

31 Likes
149
TIER 1.6 (?) DECISION MAKING
We are not dead yet.

nagatoro enjoyer

the next one is

RetroniX Vilicus

@yurimacs

mmmmmmmmmmm

SpaceBoy2020

ok
I’m in love with the window molding
yeah I mean this is definitely not for everyone
but god damn

Dropping_Suisei

this looks like a sedan at first glance obviously
but I think it really nails the ruggedness that we expect from something like this
obviously it sacrifices interior space but since you’re already looking at coupe SUVs
that’s prolly not something of high priority to you lol

nagatoro enjoyer

I dunno
this is prolly too sedan
I don’t see much SUV in this

SpaceBoy2020

didn’t this get pretty decent score in practicality
and pretty good everywhere else really

nagatoro enjoyer

yeah but
that roofline
I dunno

MaruMaruKon~

Dont give a shit :100: putting this on the shortlist

nagatoro enjoyer

whatever
next

Baumhauer U535S Coupe

@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

MaruMaruKon~

does it look decent to yall

nagatoro enjoyer

yea

MaruMaruKon~

is it in my budget

nagatoro enjoyer

yea

MaruMaruKon~

Are the reviews decent

nagatoro enjoyer

yea

MaruMaruKon~

is it free of weird stuff like laggy turbo or solid axle

nagatoro enjoyer

yea

MaruMaruKon~

did you hit your head on the door frame again after watching nagatoro

nagatoro enjoyer

yea

MaruMaruKon~

oh

nagatoro enjoyer
Arco Peluria CV

@Portalkat42

okokokokokok
now THIS is how you do a stylish SUV
no stupid roofline
slanted rear window

MaruMaruKon~

I still want my slanted coupe roofline tho
but I get you
This is big sex
almost concept car like styling

nagatoro enjoyer

why green interior tho

Dropping_Suisei

I guess it actually works pretty decently in this case despite being obnoxiously green
what’s the thing in the center console though
is it a hologram display or smth

nagatoro enjoyer

wait
hologram display
does that mean that

SpaceBoy2020

oh no

nagatoro enjoyer

I can project a 3D hologram of nagatoro on there
I need it

MaruMaruKon~

aight look

you already spent like 2 grand on buying the entire figurine collection
I would advise you against buying this car and take out the center dash and put it in your bedroom

nagatoro enjoyer

first, that it’s exactly what I would do
second, how bold of you to assume that you can stop me

SpaceBoy2020

congrats of getting yourself into another 10 year debt
:thumbsup:

nagatoro enjoyer

yea

MaruMaruKon~

we don’t have time for you to fantasize about anime
this one’s in
what’s next

nagatoro enjoyer
Velan Tarrega Q4

@vouge

well that’s pretty clean too

SpaceBoy2020

pretty standard modern design
doesn’t really have any weird points

MaruMaruKon~

what else can you tell me about it

nagatoro enjoyer

uhhh

very good C&L ratings
overall one of the best according to their ratings

MaruMaruKon~

and?

nagatoro enjoyer

what else do you need

MaruMaruKon~

just
idk
anything more
or else speedyboi has nothing to write for the CSR writeup

nagatoro enjoyer

who’s speedyboi

Dropping_Suisei

what is CSR
why is he writing it

nagatoro enjoyer

what are you talking about

SpaceBoy2020

please refrain yourself from breaking the 4th wall again.



(Velan Tarrega Q4 proceeds to next round)


nagatoro enjoyer

Halberdier X26 Kammback

@Kyorg

what’s a kammback

SpaceBoy2020

idk
german for hatchback?

Dropping_Suisei

you can say that
SUVs made a kammback in the 21st century
hahahahah
get it
kammback
come back

MaruMaruKon~

oh I know
it means
uhh
the rear end design is so good
when you see the back of the car
you will kamm

nagatoro enjoyer

so that’s what it means
I’m enlightened

SpaceBoy2020

I would call that
ahem
post-kamm enlightenment

Dropping_Suisei

Capture.PNG

nagatoro enjoyer

fr tho
what’s yalls opinion of the back of this thing
The reviews are again pretty good so it prolly comes down to do you like the appearance of this thing

MaruMaruKon~

I forgot his name, but this is defo a design made by someone I recognize
the style is as usual very strong here with the unique body shaping
this is prolly one of his cleaner designs honestly

Dropping_Suisei

the chopped off rear end is cool and all
but
those lights and angles and badges
too much for my eyes

SpaceBoy2020

I get you yea
the styling is on the aggressive side
some people would prefer removing some of the elements added here
this style of car looks quite good in person tho

MaruMaruKon~

yeah they’re pretty striking in person
to me this one’s definitely in

nagatoro enjoyer

fair
the next one I’d say is the polar opposite of the kammback

Alyx AX-3

@pen15

visually at least

SpaceBoy2020

cleaaaan

MaruMaruKon~

it’s really simplistic at first glance yea
but there actually are a good amount of shapings and different angles here
so I guess it’s not the polar opposite to the earlier car

nagatoro enjoyer

the lines are really nice on this
really modern

MaruMaruKon~

mmmm
not the fancy opulent kind
but I can roll with this too

nagatoro enjoyer
 lemme see what my colleagues have to say about this hmm cheap but somewhat mediocre in terms of driving feel and comfort
MaruMaruKon~

hmmm
yknow what screw it

nagatoro enjoyer
Waldersee Berliner T5 Sport

@Texaslav

ugh
it’s like 1am now
I want to sleep

MaruMaruKon~

how many left

nagatoro enjoyer

uhh
5 after this
I think?

MaruMaruKon~

we can just finish this
it’s prolly better if we start reserving test drives as soon as possible
speaking of test drives
I think all cars here are 5 seaters right?

nagatoro enjoyer

yeah
what about it

MaruMaruKon~

which means that
on top of bringing emmy
I can bring all of you guys here

nagatoro enjoyer

is it just me
or is it that I suddenly felt very awake
and had motivation

SpaceBoy2020

it’s not just you

Dropping_Suisei

man I can’t wait for the test drives
lets get the selection done asap

nagatoro enjoyer

back to this thing
I looked at the reviews and this should be passable
so what’s your take on the looks

SpaceBoy2020

front lights are decent
but the rest are bit meh
after what we’ve seen

nagatoro enjoyer

seems quite flat to me
just like
the

MaruMaruKon~

yes yes we know who are you trying to say
design wise, yeah the rear end is a bit of a letdown
pretty empty taillights
also I wonder how the suicide doors would work

nagatoro enjoyer

so yea or nah

MaruMaruKon~

I’d like to not narrow the options too quickly
so I’ll keep it for now

nagatoro enjoyer

b
oh I think I rember :smile: this one

Mosport Poseidon AWD

@thecarlover

iirc this is supposed to be a name revival or something?

MaruMaruKon~

yeah Mosports made this cool sport utility concept in 2000s
like the yknow
sport cross lifestyle concepty thing

SpaceBoy2020

so they’re bringing it back as a family coupe SUV huh

MaruMaruKon~

yeah this doesn’t look nearly as wack as the original obviously
they didn’t snort nearly as much maple syrup this time
still has the same design language

SpaceBoy2020

yeah
I like how the wing on the original is translated to a lightbar across the rear window
and the double stacked lights
though it might be a tiny bit dated compared to some of the other cars here

nagatoro enjoyer

reviews seems to be pretty favourable too
so

MaruMaruKon~

it’s in
next

nagatoro enjoyer
Seikatsu Regalia AD-S 40HT

@Tzuyu_main + @66mazda

sex

SpaceBoy2020

sex

MaruMaruKon~

sex

Dropping_Suisei

sex but
is this a SUV

nagatoro enjoyer

C&L say that it’s aight at offroading

Dropping_Suisei

how does a car with such low ground clearance even get such a high score
how do they even test this
do they drive it around a lawn and call it offroading or something

nagatoro enjoyer

before they drive it through a somewhat challenging offroad trail
but I heard that too many modern CUVs fail it
so they changed it to something else
I dunno much beyond this

Dropping_Suisei

just buy a starcruiser
is also sex

MaruMaruKon~

that sex is good
but I prefer this sex

Dropping_Suisei

fair

Zephorus Rigel

@Ezdmn + @Riley

nagatoro enjoyer

sex (continued)

SpaceBoy2020

what is this
it looks so muscular and nice
oh wait this is that new zephrous isn’t it

Dropping_Suisei

man even they fell to the hole of coupe SUVs
I got to admit tho
this is pretty darn sex

SpaceBoy2020

honestly

one of the better looking cars in their lineup
even among their sports cars

MaruMaruKon~

wdym this isn’t a sports car :triumph: :triumph: :triumph:

nagatoro enjoyer

what even is a sports car nowadays

SpaceBoy2020

a car that can sport

nagatoro enjoyer

:thumbsup:
just like 200 other cars in this segment this car also is regarded pretty good by the reviews
in?

MaruMaruKon~

innis

nagatoro enjoyer
Vorn XC3 Q4+

@ARM_Tune

hm

MaruMaruKon~

reminds me of cars from EV startups
quite simple
but probably too simple

nagatoro enjoyer

the front is as flat as
uh

MaruMaruKon~

shut we know who you’re trying to say

nagatoro enjoyer

my wallet

MaruMaruKon~

oh

SpaceBoy2020

relatable

nagatoro enjoyer

after buying the entire limited edition figurine collection

SpaceBoy2020

not relatable

Dropping_Suisei

after buying 200 roll tickets for the 2x SSR rate pool in azure collection

SpaceBoy2020

not relatable

MaruMaruKon~

didn’t you spend a lot on that handbuilt limited edition model from motorart
how much

SpaceBoy2020

yeah uhh you see
it’s limited to 200 units
it’s handcrafted
it has full interior
it has super detailed engine bay
it will probably appreciate in the future

MaruMaruKon~

just tell us how much

SpaceBoy2020

uhh
uhh
ahem
1500

MaruMaruKon~

jeez

nagatoro enjoyer

see
you’re not much better than us

MaruMaruKon~

anyways
I might as well include this one as well
Alright C&L review and all

nagatoro enjoyer

epic
final one

Azanti τ630 Essence

@titleguy1

nagatoro enjoyer

mmmm
seeing the design of this car
I want to name my dog avant garde

SpaceBoy2020

When I first saw this back when it was unveiled I wasn’t really a fan of it
it grew on me a lot tho
such an unique and fresh design

Dropping_Suisei

what is up with the two parallel body lines on the side tho
the bottom line goes to nowhere and is just there

nagatoro enjoyer

you don’t understand it
it’s called
avant garde

Dropping_Suisei

what the heck does that even mean

nagatoro enjoyer

it means
uh
your opinion is invalidated :100:

Dropping_Suisei

dam can’t argue with that
shit I can barely stay awake rn
marko this in or no?

MaruMaruKon~

well
you know I’m the type of people
who really enjoys getting seen in this type of car
of course it’s in

nagatoro enjoyer

yay
ughhhhhhhhhhhh
screw you guys I’m going to sleep
you people stay if you want

Dropping_Suisei

I’m going to sleep as well

gn

SpaceBoy2020

same
call us if you need anything more
gn




Marko closes his laptop, and he is absolutely exhausted from staying up so late
He is too tired to double check the shortlist of cars he made, but he knows that tomorrow he will be making phone calls and visiting websites to make reservation for test drives.


Little did Marko know before he go to sleep, he forgot to get a very important person's opinion.



...And that concludes part 1

26 Likes
150

Judging is obviously already done, but just for the record: the doors on the Berliner would bottom-latch, kind of like in the RX-8 but for both doors so they can open independently. I’d imagine the B-pillar would use some mid-tier engineering wizardry to ensure a proper seal.

151

@variationofvariables, any updates?

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currently aiming for the longest CSR WR

On a more serious note, all of us on the team have started getting our lives back now that CoVID laws are winding down where we all live, and we’re all busy with more important things in our lives than spreadsheet car game challenge with loveable never gonna be real big titty blonde wife coping mechanism.
But rest assured, we are working our hardest between our schedules and alotted free time to provide you with results that we hope you may deem as satisfactory.

Cheers!

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We waiting on reviews like Marko waiting on his baby

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TIER 1 JUDGEMENT DAY
You've made it! Or have you?
It's a woman's intuition, as they say!

Once again, the morning sun blares right into Marko’s eyes as he woke up alone on the large white bed for another day. Yet today, there was no strong cooking scent like there always was, only a faint scent of oil and pancakes tickled his nostrils as he sat up from the bed.

He looked at the nightstand on the right of the bed, “10:32”, it read. “Shit!” He exclaimed as he wobbled his way out of the bed and flew himself down towards the stairs where he saw a visibly annoyed Emilia sitting at the large dining table alone, her hair neatly tied up in a ponytail gleaming from the dim chandelier lights of the dining room with a plate of bacon and pancakes in the center of the table and an empty plate before her with another empty plate on the seat in front of her. As she saw Marko arrive from the staircase, she immediately crossed her arms and put on a pouting face. “Hmph!”

Marko felt a pang of regret go through every fiber of his being, and he tried greeting her to see if that would cheer her up.

“G-good morning, lo-”

“Why did you wake up so late?! didn’t you know that we were supposed to be booking test drive reservations today?!” She gets up from the table, revealing her to be in yet another precarious outfit, with a pink heart-shaped apron and pretty much nothing else except her black lace undergarments. “And here I was planning on making you a nice breakfast…”

Marko is still a bit sleepy and heads to the sofa to turn his laptop on. “Well, uhh, we stayed quite late last night to get the list done, so… I-I’m sorry…”

Emilia clicks her tongue and sighs at him. “I told you to chat with your friends earlier about this!” She says as she takes the apron off, setting it on one of the chairs nearby and unties her hair, before putting on a long white button up shirt on herself to cover herself up, before walking out of the dining area and heading towards Marko.

As Emilia hops onto the sofa next to him as Marko projects his laptop screen onto the TV. He opens up the word document containing the list of cars he and his friends went through last night, and some of the notes he’s taken.

“Uhhhh, why are there so many of them?” Emillia comments as Marko scrolls down the long document.

“Well, we figured that we don’t want to narrow down our options too much for now, so we listed as many of them as possible here.”

“Not narrowing down our options? You know that 20 something test drives would take forever to complete right, stoopid?” Emilia looks at him with a displeased face. Marko was defeated.

“…yeah but-”

“Shut up, stoopid.”

“What do you want now?”

“We’ll pick only a few of them before booking reservations, and by we I mean me only.” She says as she leans over towards Marko.

“Why?”

“Because you’re stoopid.”

Emilia snatched the laptop from Marko’s hands, and began scrolling down the list of cars. “Go get breakfast or something, there are some hot- Oh, sorry, you woke up late, -coldcakes on the table if you still want them.” She made the shooing gesture as she scrolled through the cars. All Marko could do was sigh and make his way towards the kitchen.



As she scrolls down the list, she stops at the Kerberos DX57S.

@nightwave

Detailed

While having good comfort, safety and prestige, other aspects are not quite up to the standard of the best cars here, and the service cost is quite high. The big V8 motor is unique, but with it also brings poor fuel economy and more importantly, being rather loud. We are also not quite fond of the looks, especially the front. It’s a decent concept, but not quite up to the top standards here.

“Hey, how did you let this one get past?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t like how it looks”

“Well uhh y’know… the specs aren’t too bad? And y’know… it has a V8 and stuff…”

“Aren’t too bad you say?”

“Well the final mark of the review on Cars and Lovers is slightly above average.”

“That’s it?”

“Well I don’t want to narrow our optio-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut up this one’s not going in the list.”

She selected the section of the document containing the car, and pressed backspace.

A few seconds of scrolling later, Emilia set her eyes on the Blixt N5

@theview

Detailed

It’s good enough to be classified one tier better than many of the questionable entries binned in last round, but it’s not nearly competitive at the top. The looks are quite bland, and it has no character to it. Stats across the board are below average, and we also did not like the somewhat questionable turbo tuning.

“Hmm, lemme see what you wrote here…’does not have major faults, alright stats’ ?”

“Yes.”

“It doesn’t look particularly impressive to me either?”

“Y-Yeaaaah…”

“So what made you choose this one?”

“Because…there’s nothing particularly wrong about it…:

Before Marko can say anything more, Emilia selected the car and mercilessly pressed the backspace key again.

“Hey, what’s up with this thing, why is it so orange?”

“Oh, that’s the new Turból, they’re really trying something new with this one on the design”

“Eh, it looks like its trying too hard and failing, just like you”

“Sheesh that’s mean”

“Whatever, you also wrote that it’s really good review wise here?

“Yeah, one of the best in the market”

Emilia looked at the detailed review score Marko copied from the article here.

“Well they seemed to like it a lot, so I’m leaving this one in the reservation list."

"Speaking of reservation list, this one will probably not be on it.” She says as sets her eyes on the EcaMobile Chipleader Sport.

@Mikonp7

Detailed

All we have to say about its design is pretty much said in the last round already: not bad, but bit clunky and has odd shaping. The cube grill part and the sloped rear morph is especially weird to see in person. The price is very high at over 59k, and the only real strong point it has is comfort, and even that is approached or even exceeded by cars much cheaper than it. Aside from that, the drivability is a bit oof, and only 300hp from a turbo inline 6 seems quite low. Overall, it’s likable, but has too many flaws to be considered a top competitor

Marko sits back down with her on the sofa, coffee in hand, right as she proceeds to unleash hell on this poor German thing.

“What’s wrong with this one? It has pretty good comfort rating as you can see." Marko asks as he takes a sip of coffee.

“Only 16/20 drivability rating? There are so many other cars here with much better drivability and equal if not better comfort ratings? And what is with that weird body shape?”

“I personally don’t mind if our daily is a bit clunky to drive around, modern cars are all pretty refined as far as I can tell.”

“You don’t mind? Well I’ll be driving too you know?”

“Yeah sorry, I completely forgot that adorable dumb blondes like you suck at dri-”

“Aaaaaaanyways, next~”

Emilia scrolls down on the trackpad with her left hand and pinches hardly onto Marko’s cheek with her other hand.

“Ow- ow- ow- ow- fuck- ow- ow- ow-!”


“Hmm, what happened to the taillights of this thing?” Emilia sets her eyes on another victim, the
Waldersee Berliner. Her right hand is still clamped onto Marko’s cheeks.


@Texaslav

Detailed

Just like many of the previous cars, somewhat low key stats - in this case drivability and comfort - combined with not the most impressive looks. Front is somewhat decent, but the rear seems like it’s missing something. Safety is very high, but it’s not enough to make this car a true finalist among the very very competitive field here.

“O-ow- ow- ow-! I’m sowwy~! ow- ow- ow-!“

“Man, why did they even put suicide doors on this? They look so out of place here.” Emilia finally let go of her poor husband’s left cheek. “I don’t see anything particularly good about this one either, soooo…”

Unlike Marko’s cheeks, the Berliner did not escape from Emilia.

“Wew, we still have so many left”

As Emilia continues to scroll down the list, the high price of the Seikatsu Regalia AD-S 40HT caught her eyes.

@tzuyu_main / @66mazda

Detailed

So what’s good about this thing? It looks great in our opinion with a nicely crafted interior. However, it is very expensive, and many of its competitors are just straight up better than it in many aspects. The design also does not really resemble an SUV, with the low ground clearance and not much SUV visual cues. We really wanted to let it into the finals, but we just cannot justify it.

“Soooo, this is the most expensive of the bunch here, and it doesn’t offer anything better than its cheaper competitors?”

“Mhm, which is kind of a shame because it looks so nice, not to mention that interior too.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I want to drive it too, but for this price? It’s a pretty tough choice. Yeah nah I think I’ll pass on this one, as much as I want to have our second child in it.”

“Pardon?”

Emilia refused to elaborate further, and after ground pounding the Seikatsu out, proceeded to the next vehicle to annihilate.


“And as for this… thing?” She pointed towards the Dàfēng TX5 35T


@mart1n2005

Detailed

There isn’t anything particularly wrong about this car. In fact, it’s quite a decent showing especially considering the choice of using a V6. However, the competition is very very strong this round, and some of the key stats are a bit off from its competitors. There is a bit of a split opinion about its looks among us hosts, with some arguing that the round and blobby proportions fails to resemble a car with a 2.9m wheelbase. Aside from that, the looks are decently executed and clean, but not quite strong enough to become one of our favourites.

“W-what now?” Marko asked.

“This looks tiny!” She exclaimed before snickering, “Like you, dear!”

“There’s nothing tiny about this! Nor me! It’s huge! It’s like… a 114 inch wheelbase!”

“Wow, so a car has you beat, huh?” She smugged as she poked at him with her elbow and chuckled.

“O-oh… Those aren’t really compa- Oof-!” He was cut off as Emilia adjusted her posture, putting her in a position where her feet landed square in the middle of Marko’s crotch. “H-hey! Watch it! We might not be able to have a second child!” He exclaimed as Emilia giggled at him.

“Anyway, don’t like it. Seems mediocre to me as good as it might seem to you.” She said as she held down the shift key and clicked the arrow button a few times before hitting the delete key to vaporize both the Dongfeng’s and Marko’s dignity’s existence from the document.

And another car that couldn’t seem to escape her grasp was the Alyx AX-3.

@pen15

Detailed

Needless to say, the body molding is nothing short of wizardry. That said, maybe the headlights are a bit empty? But we don’t really have much to complain on the looks, unlike its engineering. Price is low and practicality is pretty impressive, but some of the other key stats are among the lowest among the potential finalists. The choice of a high specific output inline 4 engine is also a bit confusing, since it has a rather tall boost wall that hurts drivability.

“Wow~! Pretty~!” Emilia exclaimed. But through those sweet words was a devil waiting to be unleashed as she continued reading through whatever was written.

After a few grueling seconds of silence, she silently pressed the backspace button on the entry.

“W-Why?!”

“You’re really fucking blind for a lawyer.”

Next up, the boomhauer Baumhauer U535S Coupe.

@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Detailed

I know you’ve heard this 3 billion times at this point, but this is another case of just scoring a bit low in some of the key stats. Considering its relatively high price point, the engineering is not very competitive. The looks are alright, although not enough to make it stand out from the rest.

“Thisdangolcardon’tseemtohavenodangolthingwrongwithitdearButitaintenoughtokeepupwithmydangolstandardssowe’regonnakeepthedangolgermanthingouttathiscompetitionyougotmehoney?”

“What?”

“Car, not exactly very interesting, we’re skipping this to save time.”

“O-oh, okay.”

And with that, Emilia once again held down the backspace button to erase it from the document.

She scrolled through one last time to double check for any outliers, and she just barely caught the Mosport Poseidon AWD.

@thecarlover

Detailed

At first glance, this is quite a solid option with great fuel eco and one of the lowest service costs. However, the price is on the high side, and key stats such as drivability and comfort are also not quite up to the standards. Looks wise, this is another car where we have split opinions on. Overall it’s a very solid modern design, with a great resemblance of the original Poseidon. However, compared to many of the entries here, the front end may be a bit dated. Overall it’s a very solid entry almost reaching the finals, but again, the competition is extremely stiff this round.

“Now why’d you stop at this one? Is there something wrong with it?” Marko asked as he took another sip of coffee.

“Well, compared to other vehicles you have here, it looks to be less comfortable and a bit harder to drive. There’s nothing inherently wrong, even if the front is not really something I like, but let’s just save ourselves some time.”

With a straight face, Emilia performs the shift-arrow key-delete key and vaporizes the Mosport out of existence (of the document).

“Well, how many cars do we have left? Around 12?” Emilia is relatively happy with the list now as she scrolls through, before tossing the laptop onto Marko and stretching her arms out.

“Yeah looks like it. Now we can get at least get the test drives done in a couple of days.” He said as he caught the laptop and set it down on the coffee table before them.
Emilia looks over at the clock behind them and saw it was still quarter past eleven. She got up from the sofa and headed towards the kitchen.
“I still have time, what do you want for lunch?” Emilia stopped right before she entered the doorway to look back at her husband.
“Hmm,” Marko thought for a moment, before cunningly replying back with “Can I have you?”
“I wished you asked that this morning.” Emilia looked back at him before rolling her eyes and going into the kitchen. “We’re having steamed fish, then.”
“Why?!”

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I know exactly what you mean with my entry, it looks like a really big small car. I should have built it on a 2.6m wheelbase and then I think the proportions would probably work a lot better

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Tfw in the finals: Aruna bird :sweat_drops:

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“is anyone there?”

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Shhh…I got a snarky reply last time I asked! :rofl:

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"Is anyone there?" You say.

Despite your knocking, there is an eerie lack of response from the great oak door in front of you.

Do you still wish to proceed?

  • Proceed
  • Return
i'm not sorry
we're getting actual results later we promise
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Proceed “Excuse me? My name is Officer Ryan, I have one or 2 questions.I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Your neighbors haven’t seen you leave the house in weeks.”

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“Excuse me? My name is Officer Ryan, I have one or 2 questions. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Your neighbors haven’t seen you leave the house in weeks.” You continued to knock.

As you continued knocking, a loud clashing of metal rung within the large mansion, and the door to your left slowly creaked open.

…

Do you still wish to proceed?

  • Proceed (Roll d20)
  • Return
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bcd06510065e6080c6feb92bb89f8590--affirmations-life-lessons

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Proceed (Roll d20) “Huhh?” Pulls out his gun “Hellooo? Who´s there?”

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ROLLED FOR INSIGHT: 20 (GLORIOUS SUCCESS)

You pulled out your trusty service handgun, ensuring first that all six rounds were properly loaded into the cylinder. Indeed, all rounds were in, and the gun didn’t seem to be having any malfunctions.

“Hello~? Who’s there?” You asked, but no response came as your voice echoed through the doorway.

You proceeded to walk into the rather portentous building, only to hear the door shut close behind you as you stepped onto the dusty maroon-tinted carpet, locking a piece of wood in front of it into place firmly, locking you into the mansion. The gust of wind that rushed in immediately after the door closes also puts out the lantern you were holding. Fortunately for you, you were somewhat able to make things out in the house’s ill-lit interior.

Like the outside, the interior of the house was just as well-furnished, although dusty and seemingly uncleaned for weeks, as large amounts of cobwebs and dust hung from the ceilings, clothing laid astrewn around the room, and the lanterns caked with leftover wax. The walls were lined with dusty bookshelves that oddly, lacked books, and old paintings of the family of the baron that currently lives here. The maroon carpet led up to a staircase and a grand piano. Very high end furnishings lay neatly about the main hall. Eerily however, all the windows seemed to have been barricaded from the inside.

You found that the loud clanging sound was caused by the steel chandelier falling onto the grand piano in the center of the room, which seemed to trigger a chain reaction that ended in the door opening itself. It is unclear however how it locked itself back.

The large staircase mentioned earlier presents itself to you, just barely illuminated by the moonlight shining through a gap in the hastily barricaded windows. Below it is a hallway that presumably leads down to a basement.

…

How do you wish to proceed?

  • Go up the stairs.
  • Inspect the room more. (Roll d20)
  • Enter the hallway below the stairs. (Roll d20)
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