CSR 163 - Spontaneous Tomfoolery, Begin! [FINALS RELEASED]

Not to be too grumpy, but Fiat certainly used those in a 131 hp 1.8. TBH considering this and other examples (regular 1.8s from AR or BMW, also apparently even I3s from Opel or freaking Daewoo 16v engines) I think that either the variable intake in the game is either too loud, or other non-performance intakes are too quiet. Variable intake is not the most widespread or “profitable” piece of tech, but it’s also not like it’s reserved for niche or performance applications - IRL. Maybe less so in Automation, sadly (I like having MOAR viable design options).

Anyway, a really cool round, and unusually I read almost all of the reviews in a round that I didn’t participate in, so good job I guess :slight_smile:

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I do agree with you there, the variable intake in the game as it stands feels like the performance aftermarket version of one, definitely needs to be balanced better.

PS: Thanks for the kind words!

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Part 3 and I am still not out :open_mouth:
I take that as a personal victory- anything from now on is great for me

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REVIEWS Pt. 4

Somewhat important note: Ranking is hard and from here on out, I am simply reviewing the cars as I go. Doesn’t matter where you place on these next few batches, you’ve made a great entry and you’ve landed here, great job. Everybody cooked real hard this round. Made my life a lot harder than I expected with the ranking


Sirius WR-4 by @KSIolajidebt

Engineering-wise, this would’ve been eliminated earlier. The reason why it has held up this long is because of how it looks.

If the ad is to be trusted, this is a very well designed home-made supercar project. Steel panels paired with glued aluminum probably suggests the chassis was borrowed from another platform (maybe more than one?). In fact the engine also hints towards more frankensteining. there is a massive 10L V8 made out of aluminum parts and the block is made out of billet, probably hinting towards a custom made block to handle the insane 1327 horsepower and 2105 nm torque this thing is pushing.

I can see this originally being a truck engine, dumped into this custom supercar and repurposed to rival hypercars of its time. This is like Mausil’s car concept, but significantly better executed and overall way higher quality in all ways. Of course, repurposing a dump truck engine to rev and boost to the moon has its consequences, including having to cutoff power at redline, because the engine is trying its absolute hardest to not shit itself in more ways than one. It’s also running very advanced technology turbochargers with variable geometry, while also sporting ITBs for the engine. It results in a horsepower graph almost linear and hillclimb-like. Like… it just keeps going!

Honestly I’d do a few things differently such as let it rev out to 5500 and take necessary steps to actually rev higher, like destroking or whatever, and definitely didn’t need a precat in something like this. Engine is extremely reliable for what it is but that’s because of the insane quality dump, not unheard of in high quality shed builds.

The gearbox is quite interesting too, an automated manual 4spd with very high gearing, suggesting a straight line build. Not the choice I would’ve gone for, but considering the theme of this build with repurposing parts from other cars, I’d wager this is also stripped from a decommissioned drag car and shoved in there without considering the reliability of said transmission much.

All that said though, this thing can corner pretty well. It is quite oversteery at higher speeds but it’s still very manageable and adds to the characteristics of the car. It’s an unruly beast and it keeps the theme consistent throughout.

Spartan interior, not surprised. Electric variable steering is kinda interesting though since I’d rather expect a proper rack with variable steering in something like this, mechanical steering are easier to implement than full on electronic ones. The weight distribution is of course all over the place with its dynamics and the 1.74 ton weight, and it causes the spring tuning to be rather jank, but it does get the job done and balances the car out.

All in all, interesting concept, decent execution, immaculate styling, but kinda hard to justify spending so much on a car that will be known by the some of the most niche automobile circles and while shedding more light onto this would give it a fair chance at recognition, even the slightest mechanical or electrical error (fairly common in shed builds) will cause a world of pain with parts availability due to the frankensteining and also a small chance of the video bombing due to no one knowing what it is.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“I know just about fuck all about this thing, I can sort of guess where its various components came from but chasing down any broken bits of it might end up being worse than working on a high end Mercedes. I’d love to feature it but for so much money, this is extremely risky.”

:wastebasket:


Propeller Amerikaner Coupe by @Mikonp7

German made retro-ameribarge, nice. What do we have under the hoo…

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Oh my goodness gracious…

It’s not even that expensive for what it is if I’m being honest. Like solid entry by all means.

So this 90s German luxury car was purely meant for the US market, and hasn’t seen a successor since then, reasons purely related to horrible sales numbers and not enough profit generation from the extravagant nature of this car and its advertisement, I can only presume. Dummy high prestige value so it probably suggests fame/infamy among motor enthusiasts.

Fully monocoque and aluminum, for some reason I was lowkey expecting steel and ladder but I have to remind myself this is German. What this means is the overall construction of this is lighter than the Sirius above. Diabolical.

The nearly square engine revs up to 5900 RPM and makes 430 horsepower and 634 nm of torque along the way. Very linear power delivery, therefore accurate with the luxury status. Not as low cams as I expected so I’d probably roll that off a bit alongside the springs just to compensate for the batshit horrifying fuel economy this thing gets. Emissions tuning is dialed all the way up to 9 which I barely ever get to see, just gives you an idea of how much of an insanity a V16 would’ve been with 90s engine tech if you had to make it compliant.

Internals are quite interesting. It’s a 5spd AAT driving the power to the rear wheels only, and instead of having any kind of modern LSD options, Propeller opted to go for a classic style clutched LSD. Whether this was done to pay homage to classic sports and race cars or whether this was all they thought they’d require is unclear, but having clutched LSD in a German car that’s already pretty fucking breaky doesn’t give me a lot of confidence. 6.9 seconds to 100 km/h though which is NICE.

It doesn’t quite handle like a pig, and braking isn’t terrible. And judging by the fact that the rear 2 seats are half seats, this is purely meant to be a PLV and that only. It moves at a relatively leisurely pace but still does it with pretty high presence. The rear springs are set up tighter than the front springs, further making it obvious that this car primarily focuses on the driver/passenger princess comfort. Interior also boasts of completely top of the line handmade materials with flagship sound system, not surprised but also rather impressive for the price tag.

It’s a nice and decent package overall, but it’s one of those cars that you spend 10x the amount of money on after buying it for the sticker price. It’s not inherently bad, it definitely has tons of charisma and character. Unfortunately, it got knocked out by entries in a similar segment of retromodern cars. Valiant effort though!

Choice quote from Jazz:

“What an absolute flexmobile, and a monstrosity under that hood. Inline 8 retromodern cars don’t got shit on this bad boy, but it has managed to retain a good chunk of its value today and it’s an extremely well known model. It’s a decent proposition but I might have to pass all things considered.”

:wastebasket:


Armuth SR by @Lurka

This is probably the most successful homebuilt tuner/racecar entry in this challenge. Same price as the Propeller (well disregarding the two cups of coffee) but and insane value proposition considering what was done underneath, and still stupidly dependable somehow.

The base car by itself was quite juiced up, despite being transverse, it completely ditched the notion of going for the cheap and dogshit torsion beam that everyone else was doing and went for the fancy ass multilink option. Chassis was also constructed of lightweight AHS. God knows what the company was smoking at the time but they were smoking the good shit. This effectively would’ve been the GR86 of its time but bigger and more comfortable somehow. And to top it all off, several of its panels are proper carbon fiber. Insane and quite based.

Cast Iron block presumably to handle the batshit high horsepower out of this slightly undersquare 2 liter NA nugget. One of the few cases where a lighter custom block actually wouldn’t do jack, I respect identifying that instead of slapping on the most expensive option straight away. Crank, conrods and pistons have absolutely been replaced by all means with the lightest of aftermarket forged light parts you can buy for a reasonable (!!!) amount of money.

Ooh what’s that cute high compression, massive VVL gap and low VVL engagement with high RPM limit setup? I wonder if you looked into how I like my engines from my previous reviews because this is pretty damn near close to how I’d do mine. But basically, immaculate tuning considering it has a high perf. intake and what most people forget is those things open the engine up A LOT so they don’t account for the top end and it all ends up being very wonky, not on this one though. I’d personally get rid of the one remaining reverse flow exhaust and just leave a straight through on to simulate a resonator/muffler delete. It’s not like legality was an issue here anyway. But perhaps you were accounting for track noise limits.

Golly, the powertrain is something else. 6 spd MT, helical AWD and LSD, with a 60/40 power split and the final drive is at 5.48 with a electronic speed governor set to 270 km/h. 4 blistering seconds to 60, eye watering for something like this. A good old grip monster hot hatch build that we all love and enjoy.

I’d expect something this upmarket to have some sort of underbody shielding but I reckon that has been removed for weight saving. Same for the interior, where the rear seats have been completely ripped out and the stereo unit has also seen some mutilation. Springs are quite meticulously tuned, and it shows. Very low roll angle, nearly perfectly balanced ride ant 1.12g at low speed corners. Borderline racecar. It does have the issue of having high service costs but honestly, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Just shy of 1700 is pretty decent. Also all that weight saving means it does pretty good when doing highway runs in terms of the fuel economy.

I’m very impressed with how well you’ve managed to balance drive, sport and comfort without tanking any one of them. The aftermarket wheels are very tasteful as well. Overall, I don’t think this car has any major pitfalls per se other than the massive sticker price when both new AND old. But it is a limited edition and it clearly is very reliable hence why it has retained its value. And I would like to point out that it very much is a Ford Focus RS clone, but it’s a decent one at that. Great effort and hope to see more from you!

Choice quote from Jazz:

“This tickles my fancy. It’s shocking how much of this car is actually stock and not aftermarket, because it sure looks like one. A true factory rocket. Shame that cars like that exists in our roster already and it won’t make for a truly unique content as we promised.”

:wastebasket:


Armor A-20 Brute by @GassTiresandOil

Amphibious car… interesting, how does it work?

Holy shit. You’ve actually given it a proper thought.

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My dude made the exhaust follow through.

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Wow, an actual propeller.

All of this is just extremely clean, possibly one of the cleanest quirky builds I’ve seen by far. You had a very clear vision and you executed it perfectly.

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Immaculate detail, the bullet holes/dents. I couldn’t stop laughing

Very well done good sir, you have my nod of approval. You’ve left no detail behind, connected the snorkel and the exhaust all the way and everything. It’s not some hyperdetailed insanely beautiful design but it’s simple, clean and just so damn authentic.

Everything else about it is just your run of the mill military truck. Pushrod 4L straight 6 with very decent performance across all fields and in a very compact form factor. 200 horsepower, 317 nm torque and still 18.5 thermal efficiency? Splendid I say.

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Less restrictive muffler goes first always.

5MT transmission sending power to the 4x4 with an obvious manual locking diff. Naturally the fuel economy is fucked to high hell due to drivetrain loss at 15.2L/100km but it’s sort of expected. 8.3s to 100 isn’t exactly bad either. Handles like an actual pig but again, not really an issue for something like this, granted it’s on the smaller wheelbase side of things at 2.6m but it’s whatever. I also wouldn’t want actual prosumer active offroad sway bars in a military vehicle, but considering it’s an experimental vehicle I can let that pass.

The very few people who wanted to do an amphibious build, this is the only one that was much different. Great build, mate.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“An actual experimental truck from the Mexican military, and it POTENTIALLY cruises on water. It’s not even that expensive so I could probably just buy it for the sake of collection, honestly…”

Verdict: Moves on :white_check_mark:


Winsonette Topaz 660 by @Mad_Cat and @Tsundere-kun

Incredible build. Very well detailed, actually a very charming face and looks damn authentic for the peak British shitbox that it is. Born way back in 1975, it has managed to stay alive till 1998, and today we have a 1994 example.

I have no clue why this piece of shit has a longitudinally mounted rear engine setup, but hey this is basically a porsche 911! Who cares it only has a 658 cc 3 cylinder motor that’s undersquared to the heavens and beyond, the baseline is there, right?

Jokes aside it’s a very well done shitbox build, with the cheapest of possible options, down to single barrel eco carbs and internals that choke it pretty hard, which in turn results in a very accurate and linear powerband for something like this. Very reliable for a carbed motor, which might be a negative point since it’s British and this is absolutely inaccurate.

25 seconds to 100 km/h… honestly not even that bad considering it’s monstrous 22 horsepower figure. It is RWD and has a 4 spd MT, returning to my theory on this basically being a 911, just needs a proper LSD.

Everything else is pretty much as anyone would expect, nothing out of the ordinary. Has a rudimentary excuse of a cassette player and some seats made out of some type of cloth, zero driving aids or power steering because I don’t reckon you’d need any when the car weighs sub 550 kg. Suspension is relatively tightly wound and yet we have a roll angle of 8 degrees (If anything it would’ve been a lot more IRL lol).

Overall a very clean build. Both the engineering and the design are top tier. Solid points over there. Unfortunately I’m willing to let this go. A 3 wheeler that lived with the same platform for mroe than 20 years and then died a gruesome death due to reputation loss from website hacking and Jeremy Clarkson trashing on it is amazing lore, but the car itself doesn’t do much to establish its quirk beyond “3 wheeler British car so you can drive it on your bike license”. Maybe some extra bits, and this would’ve made it to the finals just because of how well built it is.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“It’s a cute nugget but… I already have a Reliant. Do I want yet another one of these? Would this be much different really?”

Verdict: :wastebasket:


Yangwoo Ribbit SUCS by @Hilbert

It’s a cute piece of shit, I adore it. Like frankly, I’m not surprised something very similar to this doesn’t exist. One of the more unique builds of yours, I guess them Finnish drinks be doing their magic (whatever I meant by that).

I’m very impressed by the overall construction of this. Cost fuck all when it was new, and has managed to retain value decently well. Has ridiculous wishbone/multilink setup for some reason, probably to ensure a decent ride in an otherwise sparsely equipped car (or cheesemaxxing). I can sort of see this setup being not that expensive in a car so tiny to be fair.

the tiny 1L slightly oversquare 4 cylinder is pushing a respectable 77 horsepower and 98nm of torque, with decent thermal efficiency considering it doesn’t use VVL. Running on premium is kinda goofy for something like this ngl, 91 would be the norm considering everything else that was like this from that era would also run on 91. Very reliable powerplant regardless. Leaves room for funny turbocharging shenanigans.

FWD and CVT gearbox, ensuring a respectable 9.1 seconds to 100 kmh and a staggeringly good 4.5L/100km fuel consumption. Sub 850 kg weight means it can get away with having no power steering, I have no fucking clue why it has traction control though. It’s not launching itself at rocket pace with that engine lmao. ABS was enough.

Spring tuning isn’t exactly the best, it’s balanced in the graph but practically it’d be all over the place and just to prove my point:

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That’s not healthy. Probably something that’d be adjusted by any buyer who gave a shit or two about cars.

It’s a very cheap to run car though, insanely low servicing costs alongside already low fuel demands. Stats-wise it’s doing decent across the field. Visually it’s very cute too, I enjoy it and the details all over it are definitely something that I admire.

However, it’s also not exactly the type of cult classic you’d want this to be. It has less vibes of something that’d be beloved over the years and more of something that’d become an absolute meme:

You get what I mean. Am I calling this a bad/shit/terrible/trash car? Absolutely fucking not. This is great. What I mean is It’s kinda hard to justify something like this in the face of the stiff competition it is facing right now. Great in a vacuum, great amongst all the listed entries so far, unfortunately falls flat once the higher ranked entries show up.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“I… I kinda love it, but dear god I’d hate to be seen driving around in that. Not a flattering view at all.”

Verdict: :wastebasket:


Sora S6 Typhoon by @66mazda

Motherfucker playing with my weakness. This straight up feels like a Chaser and an Alpina B10 Biturbo being blended together and somehow coming up with an even further perfected package.

Very durable and high quality construction, sticking mostly to steel as Japan did back then with only part aluminum here and there, double wishbones supporting the front end and multilink on the rear end. Obviously it doesn’t help with the weight… but more on that later.

We have a 3.6L straight 6 with two turbos bolted on to it, pushing an immense 422 horsepower and nearly 600 nm of torque. This might sound meek compared to some of the previously mentioned cars, but in the early 90s, and for a Japanese sedan these are dummy high figures. And you can definitely tell the engine is being pushed to its absolute limits because it’s at the brink of knocking.

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I have a lot of respect for leaving it like this. There’s a certain bit of boldness here in keeping it right at the cusp of knocking. The compressor is also damn near shitting itself but it’s just under the threshold of actually doing so. Which is why just like a lot of real world high stress builds, it actually does alright in terms of dependability. It’s by far one of the more reliable motors in this CSR while producing pretty high numbers while keeping a small footprint.

0-100km/h is a eye watering 4.8 seconds for the early 90s, thanks to the 5spd MT sending power to the rear wheels for the optimal spirited driving experience, and of course a helical limited slip diff to ensure it even further. I reckon the 0-100km/h could be further improved for an even bonkers time, but even as it is, it’s rivalling a lot of newer cars by a good margin both IRL and in the automation-verse.

Very advanced engineering decisions with the sport focused underbody shielding and cooling flaps for maximum cooling efficiency only when needed,
and very high end hand made interior with also high end premium four speaker setup and a full on tape cassette player. I can only imagine similar interior in the custom yakuza spec chasers and soarers and even then, they’d probably not be EU type hand made spec. Traction control in the early 90s too and this one actually justifies having it, variable hydraulic steering ensuring there’s a good mix of comfort and driving feel. Both high and low speed cornering gs are respectable at 1.01g.

Spring tuning is very very well done, both balanced and adequately sprung. The setup it has right now allows the car to have a pretty good 3.8 degrees of roll angle while also not sacrificing comfort. Overall, it’s an all rounder spec car, and definitely not for someone who had a light wallet back then or even today. IRL I’d expect something like this to have the same status as a Chaser/Skyline GTST. The high prestige confirms that as well.

I respect this overall build because it actually didn’t try to compromise anywhere. It wanted to be a high end luxury power cruiser and it did not hold back. High service costs, respectable fuel economy, internals at the brink of throwing a fit, great chassis control and dynamics, it’s a great package. And even for the steep price of 20k, this might actually be worth a look.

Choice quite from Jazz:

“It’s quite steep… but I know for a fact this is a well sought after car. I reckon this oughta bring in some new viewers for the channel since there’s only 331 one of these ever produced. Tempting…”

Verdict: Moves on :white_check_mark:


That concludes yet another round. I have less shifts at work this coming week and my college assignments are completed. Unless life decides to fuck me over, I am poised to finish CSR by this week. Thanks for everyone’s patience! See ya soon.

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No that’s just Finnish drinks doing their magic.

No, it’s just made for European market. 91 isn’t even available at gas pumps. We only have 95 and 98.

Without TC the teenage girl who gets the privilege of owning it will lose control and crash at the third slight curve.

People hated the Multipla when it was new, now the very same people jack off to pictures of it. My point being, a cult classic that earned it’s status by being a meme is still a cult classic.

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Now this is epic

Never denied it, I said the same thing.

You overestimate how much power you need to spin out a heavy enough piece of an automobile driven by a CVT transmission that only ensures optimal power as necessary and no more than that lmao.

You’ve clearly never driven a mk1 Twingo. The sheer speed and power of the 58hp engine is enough to send it flying.

Guilty as charged, once again :grin:
I do like Fords- as a matter of fact, have one sitting in my driveway. Closer look at the engine tells you the same cubature dimensions as the 2001 Zetec SE Blacktop.
Thanks for the kind words, and I will sure keep posting. If time allows, that is.

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Dear Quirk Express Team,

I pen this letter with deep dismay and profound disappointment upon witnessing the recent video published by your esteemed channel, Quirk Express, wherein there were egregious and utterly baseless attacks levied against the Winsonette Topaz 660, a revered symbol of automotive innovation and heritage. As the Chairman of the Winsonette Topaz Owners Club, I find it imperative to address the following points of concern arising from your review:

  1. Unwarranted Comparison and Historical Insensitivity:

The comparison drawn between the Winsonette Topaz 660 and the Porsche 911, albeit two distinct automotive marvels, was marred by an utterly disrespectful parallelism. Describing the Topaz 660, a pinnacle of British engineering prowess, in juxtaposition with a vehicle whose origins are intertwined with a dark chapter in human history, displays a lack of sensitivity and understanding that is deeply offensive to our members and enthusiasts worldwide.

  1. Defamatory Allegations and Questionable Endorsements:

Your reckless assertion dubbing the Winsonette Topaz 660 as a “death trap” and having “a gruesome death” are not only unfounded but also dangerously misleading. Such irresponsible statements not only tarnish the reputation of our beloved vehicle but also pose a threat to public perception and safety, as well as the history it represents. Furthermore, the endorsement of the controversial automotive presenter and journalist Jeremy Clarkson and his known biases adds credence to the lack of objectivity and integrity in your reviews.

  1. Disregard for Uniqueness and Role:

By dismissing the personality and uniqueness of the Winsonette Topaz 660 and failing to acknowledge its pivotal role as the iconic mascot of the Winsonette automotive brand, your channel has showcased a blatant bias that undermines the credibility of your reviews. Such oversight not only misinforms your audience but also enfeebles the rich history and legacy of our esteemed automobile as well as the intergrity of journalistic professionalism of the Qurik Express Team.

In conclusion, I demand an immediate retraction of the defamatory statements made in your video and a public apology issued to the Winsonette Topaz Owners Club and enthusiasts worldwide. Failure to comply with these demands will result in legal action and further various unspecified repercussions against Quirk Express and its affiliates by members of the Winsonette Topaz Owners Club.

Yours faithfully,

Sir John Topaz
Chairman, Winsonette Topaz Owners Club

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CAM ONG EDGLANNDDD SCOREEE SOME FREAKING CARS!!!

REVIEWS Pt. 5


Regarding out clashes with Winsonette Topaz Owners Club

@Tsundere-kun @Mad_Cat

cry-about-it-cry

The only apology we have is for not shitting on the Topaz EVEN HARDER!!!


Norðwagen Þór GT 16x4 by @moroza

I believe this is a car that both enjoys the benefits of having a high price headroom, and also suffers from it. It’s dripping with opulence from whatever angle it is being looked at from, and it is packed with near top of the line features for its size and segment. But that just means it has to justify its cost to quirk ratio amongst some already solid other entries.

Solid exterior design, a great showing amongst the retromodern cars we’ve seen and are about to see. The front grille design as a whole is quite imposing and stands out decently well, very aggressive and almost reminds me of shark teeth. I feel the headlight design could be further polished but honestly this is about as good as it gets on this body, so I don’t really find it badly done. The hood has a two layered bulge suggesting a massive engine underneath (which it has) and the 16 hood vents match the cylinder count. Is it a bit much? Yes. Does it look badass? Yes. The line in the middle continues all the way up to the rather subtle looking windshield splitter. Generally not a fan of those but in this case, the subtlety helps and I like it.

The door handle in the middle looks almost a bit out of place until you realize it’s a gullwing, another thing I have a soft spot for. I have things to say about the exposed side pipes though. They usually look cool and dope and whatever when there’s like 4 of them. This car has 16 cylinders and 8 pipes on each side are exiting through two massive exhausts on both sides.

And while I like the exhaust design at the bottom and how it is vented to both shield it while also letting it cool itself, the pipes are kinda… they feel weird. Too many of them crammed together side by side, and it becomes very monotonous.

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I like the fender flare and arches at the front end though.

The windshield splitter continues further up into the roof and keeps going down to the rear windshield, where it becomes a brake light. It’s a bold design choice and while I have no strong feelings towards it, I also don’t mind it.

Interior, while being 50 shades of black as always, is very meticulously done.

This is a stupidly high amount of detail that makes me reconsider my efficiency of designing in this game (very low). I would go as far as to say there’s more details on the interior side of things than the exterior, or at least it’s a close matchup. Very well done and I appreciate the effort that was put down here.

The lore is also quite interesting with this being an extremely low volume configuration, and shooting brakes in general are very low volume, much less so in such an extravagantly high performance spec. This is very much SLR McLaren if it was a shooting brake, had the already dialed at 11 performance dial taken to 12 or even 13, and only came in AMG black paint. I enjoy this.

Mechanically, while I’m not disappointed, looking at the price tag slowly takes away the magic of this being cool and quirky. What makes certain cars cool and quirky for having uncommon or questionable features is they have something that’s unexpected from their segment, price point, target demographic and what not. For the sticker price and also just the used car price, this is not too far from what I’d expect. AlSi block/head and Forged internals, extremely aggressive VVL profile gap, insane 10k RPM limit, ITBs and a fully retarded ignition timing configuration, and all of that produces a staggering 666 horsepower with 557nm of torque. First of all seeing an oversquare V16 produce more horsepower than torque is slightly cursed, but also as marvelous as that engine is, I’m not surprised provided the cost.

And same goes for the other internals. Yes 6 speed low ratio gearbox with helical AWD and LSD setup, launching the car to 100 km/h in a mere 2.7 seconds. Hypercar speeds for even today. Massive tyres all around and still has a staggered setup, despite the rear wheel only getting 66% of the power, presumably for the insane high speed grip it gets.

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F1 car lookin’ ass, the faster you go the more grip you get.

Of course it gets hand made interior, if anything I’m more surprised it doesn’t get a proper top of the line luxury CD infotainment setup. I do respect the completely analog spring/suspension setup instead of slapping active parts on it and making your job a whole lot easier. The suspension tuning itself is quite well done and while not the tightest, it’s definitely up there.

All in all, I can see this as a highly sought after piece of automotive history in niche circles. It’s not for everyone. I certainly like it, but as I said, every time I look at the price both new and used, the tech fitted inside the car just becomes standard expectation and not at all what I wanted in this case. So while you perfectly nailed down styling, and lore was definitely good, I am not sold on the engineering. Solid entry regardless.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“This is not too different from an old hypercar royalty. Yeah it’s jam packed with all the cool shit, but at that price point and also considering the target demographic, you’d expect so right? Is that really quirky at the end of the day?”

Verdict: :wastebasket:


Archer Vista RS by @vero94773

This van is one of those rare pieces of automotive history that seems almost too absurd to exist—a minivan, but with a sports car’s soul, boasting performance that would embarrass many '90s coupes. It is essentially a crossbreed between a family hauler and the high-performance Esquire RS and Akari 300RS. At first glance, it looks like your typical early '90s minivan, boxy with those unmistakably bland, utilitarian lines common in the era’s GM vans. However, it doesn’t take long to realize there’s something special about this red accents on white family carrier.

Stuffing the twin-turbo 3.0L V6, borrowed from a performance vehicle, into an unassuming vehicle is not too uncommon of a practice. It has been done many times. The TT V6 churns out a whopping 300 horsepower at just 5200 RPMs while pushing 485 nm of torque. And it does so very smoothly, as the turbo kick comes in very early at just 1800 RPM. There is enough power to launch this five-passenger people mover from zero to 100 km/h in just 5.5 seconds. Such performance from a mere minivan would be obviously unheard of back then. It really is quite the sight to behold when a van that basically looks like an airport shuttle covers a quarter of a mile in 14 seconds.

Exterior, as I said, is pretty akin to how GMC and Chevy did their performance trucks in the 90s. Very unassuming, but somehow this feels a step even further above in terms of subtlety. Almost gets in the way of looking cool, I’d say. The factory Frost White paint with Race Red accents and black plastic trim in place of chrome… the Vista RS distinguishes itself in very subtle ways. Its 16-inch alloy wheels, clad in beefy 245-section tires, also provide slight hints at its capabilities. The interior follows suit, blending luxury and sportiness with high end leather and cloth seats, further accentuated by Race Red piping. But despite these details, the aesthetic remains rooted in the early '90s practical design ethos. It’s as if the car is in on the joke… knowing full well it shouldn’t be this fast or this interesting, but still relishing in the fact that it is.

I’m thoroughly impressed by the fact that you could make this thing handle. The Vista RS is about as heavy as Moroza’s car above, but has a way higher CoG and obviously not a V16 powerplant with 2x the power. But with what resources it does have, it gets the job done pretty well. Corners remarkably flat for something of its size and shape. A full-time all-wheel-drive system with helical LSD makes this family van super grippy on tracks. 0.93g on the skidpad might not sound like a lot today, but for back then, it’d embarrass many performance cars. Fuel efficiency combined isn’t horrible either, at 10.5L/100km it’s pretty much the same as an LS400 while being way faster.

Yet, as much fun as it is to marvel at the Vista RS, it does fall short in its ultimate pursuit of quirkiness. For all its bold decisions, such as cramming in a twin-turbo V6 and giving it all-wheel drive, the exterior design is still too conservative. Sure, it has those sporty red accents and a slightly aggressive stance, but it doesn’t visually scream “sports van.” It looks like your average 1990s GM van with some lipstick. A Golf with sporty stance, widebody and a lipstick becomes a GTi, this somehow fails in that same department for reasons I can’t 100% explain. The “1 of 250” badge and sporty trim are cool touches, but in terms of sheer visual quirkiness, it just doesn’t have the flamboyance that one might expect from something as unique as a super-minivan. A design direction that made it look either very honed down or very boyracer, either way would’ve helped a lot more.

Additionally, while it may have been radical in terms of performance, the use of a 4spd AAT feels like a missed opportunity. A manual gearbox, especially given the car’s roots in other sportscars of the company’s lineup, would have been a much bolder move, providing that extra layer of driver engagement that would’ve made no difference to the production given the low volume. The automatic is nice and all, but that takes it to more sleeper territory than an outrageous one. Yes, this is America and realistically this would’ve been a 4spd by all means, but I’d wager anyone looking to buy a piece of history like this wouldn’t have cared much for the auto.

In the end, the Archer Vista RS is a fascinating blend of the practical and the impractical—a car built for a laugh but engineered to be serious. Its performance is undeniably impressive, but it plays it too safe visually, holding it back from true quirkiness greatness. Still, for those who know what lurks under the hood, the Vista RS remains an anomaly worth celebrating.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“I love this car for what it is. It’s bold and impressive, what lurks under the hood makes it worth celebrating. But it plays too safe visually speaking… maybe we could buy it and give it the makeover it deserves?”

Verdict: :white_check_mark:


Billancourt Cité Beach Car by @the-chowi

The Billancourt Cité Della Costa is a love letter to the fun and weird cars of the past, offering a whimsical, open-air experience with just enough modern flair to keep it relevant. Based on a more traditional hatchback, it takes a familiar silhouette and transforms it into something fun, quirky, and undeniably charming. Seems perfect for summer coastal getaways.

It’s a beautiful looking car. It has a playful aesthetic that’s as bright and inviting as the beach itself. The interior mirrors this vibe with matching materials with the exterior paint, creating a sense of cohesion that suits its breezy nature. The overall shape is clean and approachable. I have some observations that might seem a bit rude to put out, but every time I look at this, I just see a modern Twingo. It very much is a spitting resemblance of the Twingo De Plage in more ways than one. Still, the small details like quirky vents and the subtle tubular reinforcements give it a character that feels uniquely “Della Costa.” Rest assured, despite making the comparison, I see and appreciate the uniqueness of it.

I was not expecting a rather peppy engine under the hood, honestly. The 1.4-litre 4 cylinder produces a respectable 115 horsepower. This might not sound like much in today’s terms, but for a car as light as this (thanks to its fiberglass body and corrosion-resistant steel chassis), it’s more than enough to make it feel sprightly. The 0-100 km/h sprint takes just 7.7 seconds, which is quite brisk for something so focused on casual, laid-back driving. The 5-speed manual gearbox and front-wheel-drive setup help keep it engaging for those who prefer to feel connected to the car. Steering is also not what I had expected, variable hydraulic instead of electric, giving you way more road feel than you’d expect in something like this.

In terms of practicality, the it is rather minimal. The rear seats are more of a +2 situation than full-sized seats, making it ideal for quick trips with a friend or two, but not a vehicle you’d want to pack with passengers for long hauls. The interior materials are standard fare for the time—cloth, plastic, and vinyl, all well-built but lacking in the sort of sophistication you’d expect in a limited edition like this, perhaps to keep the weight and overall costs down. The four-speaker CD player rounds out the basic entertainment package, serving up just enough functionality to get by on a fun day out.

The car is extremely cheap to service, decently reliable, fuel economy is very good at a nice 5.5L/100km. The construction also ensures it will barely see any kind of rust. Simplicity was one of the key points of this build and I can clearly see it.

Despite its playful nature and decent performance, the Della Costa does stumble a bit when it comes to standing out in the coolness department. While undeniably cute and practical for beach trips, It feels more like a fun novelty based on the still remaining flesh of a traditional car. Note that I said flesh and not skeleton. It also feels like it suffers from identity crisis. It has a very lightweight body and chassis construction, standard minimal interior, and a peppy lightweight engine for the sake of simplicity, but the addition of ESC for beach driving paired with the choice of variable hydraulic steering also feel like a mismatch for its lighthearted, carefree persona. It would’ve been more quirky to see a fully manual setup or something less conventional for a beach car. You could’ve taken a completely simple setup, or a full on sporty setup to go with the 5MT, or a assisted driving setup for the… “softer” crowd this could be intended for. But mixing up all 3 just felt a bit odd, not the right way.

In the end, the Della Costa Beach Car is a delightful ride for those who value simplicity, style, and the open air. It’s a well-executed beach runabout that’s reliable, economical, and fun to drive. However, it falls short of true quirkiness and coolness simply because it feels a bit too derivative and safe. For those who don’t mind that it’s not breaking any molds, though, it’s a solid choice.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“This is not too different from my teenage self. It wants to be quirky and silly in more ways than one, and while it does do a great job of many things, the car doesn’t know itself all that well. I could get this and mod it ourselves after a video to give it a unique persona… Maybe for a different video.”

Verdict: :wastebasket:


Mizuiro Seigun MR-Spec by @The_Stig_Is_A_Spy

This is a gem from the automotive history that’d get easily overlooked for looking rather unassuming. Simple lines, subtle aero touches, minimal flash. If you’re like me, someone who values a car that doesn’t shout about its capabilities, the Seigun MR-Spec is a car that grows on you the more you get to know it.

According to the lore, the rebranding to Rinkai rebranding of the company didn’t quite work out, and I can’t see why considering the existence of this car. The Seigun MR is a solid piece of engineering, mid engined, RWD, compact size, and a sleeper from a time when they were all the rage. Yeah it’s just 256 horsepower from a 3L V6, but remember, just 5-10 years ago some V8s that were a liter bigger than this were making just as much power. The engine also comes with VVT and VVL and despite having a pretty aggressive gap between the profiles, the powerband is quite linear and torquey.

Nice compromise of not using ITBs but rather twin throttle bodies, it’s better than one and overall more reliable and serviceable. Interesting choice to give it only a single reverse flow muffler. The designers of this car, while meant to keep it quiet and unassuming from the outside, wanted it to let its presence be known once it started going full tilt. I do appreciate it when cars do this, while also having the specs to back up their presence.

At just over 1000 kgs, the p/w ratio makes a lot of sense. Yes a supercharger or a turbocharger would’ve made this go even faster, but that would’ve ruined the dynamics the Seigun has right now. It’s very noticeable, in fact, how dialed in the weight distribution is. Providing the feeling of driving something analog and yet being able to push it through winding roads in an agile manner makes it a lot better than many other sporty applications we’ve come to see so far.

The gearing on the 6MT coupled with the LSD sort of reminds me of the 6MT shortshifter/LSD setup in my family’s old Carina GT AT212. It’s a setup that rewards precise driving, and the reward is a smile on your face every time you’re driving spiritedly. It’s intuitive and fully focuses on the driver.

The interior of the car isn’t particularly luxurious, similar to other Japanese spec cars of its time. Everything is exactly where you need it, no fluff, driver gets full priority. The seats are more than comfortable enough for daily driving, but just about bolstered for brisk drives and track runs. There’s enough space at the frunk end of the car for baggage, and the cabin doesn’t feel cramped thanks to it only being a 2 seater. And I respect this choice, I know a lot of people would’ve tried to minmax this by saying this could easily fit both a 3L V6 and 2 more passengers at the back.

It’s not a head turner at first glance. It’s clean, purposeful, it knows itself and it decides to not be extra loud about it (visually at least). Unlike the Vista RS van though, this drops hints of it being fast and aggressive in a different way. The wide hip that you can clearly see from the inside through the rear-view mirror, the K-tail, the very meticulously sculpted side vents for cooling the engine… It’s a lot more pronounced while retaining its subtlety.

I do need to say that the styling is very much on the conservative side, it lacks the aggressive flairs from some of the competitors that try their best to catch your attention at first look. It’s not a volume seller or a poster car, and for people who appreciate the engineering under the hood, it’s definitely a treasure.

Fuel economy was surprisingly decent at 7.7L/100km, considering the power delivery of the V6. It’s not a particularly comfortable ride, mind you. It just about doesn’t toss you around, but it’s a relatively easy to tame car and the driving experience it offers for the price is unparalleled. Tight suspensions also mean it can do 1.03g on the skidplate while having a 2.5m wheelbase and very minimal aero parts. It’s a good balance of grippy setup and efficiency. Overall, I adore this car. I think it deserves to be up there with some of the best quirky rides. It is fast, it is well made, it is extremely subtle but in a way that’s actually admirable.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“Now this is something that lets the engineering do the talking. There’s a certain charm about it that I am loving, and I can’t wait to take it out for a spin myself.”

Verdict: :white_check_mark:


LSAZ 3199 Potok by @thecarlover

LSAZ 3199 Potok is a car that feels like a relic of a different era. It’s a strange intersection of Soviet ingenuity and limited resources, wrapped up in a sleek, understated package. It’s a car that at first glance seems unremarkable, especially considering its paint and unassuming shape. The more you learn about it, the more it reveals its quirks, though.

In the often-brutalist world of Soviet cars, it stands out as smooth, somewhat refined, and even modern for its time. Quite fitting for a car named Potok, standing for “Flow”. Despite being a last hurrah by LSAZ before the USSR fell, the car manages to avoid the rough, angular design language that many other Soviet cars had in the late '80s and early '90s. It’s clear that LSAZ wanted this car to be a bridge between Soviet practicality and something a bit more luxurious, aimed at people who had a bit more influence.

Underneath, according to the lore at least, a curious design choice of repurposing the chassis and boxer engine from a cab-over-engine van and flipping it around was taken. That means this rear-wheel-drive, rear-engine setup was originally meant for a van, not a car, which immediately sets it apart. And it’s very apparent in the engineering. Obviously, all of this was to keep the costs as low as possible. And, remarkably, it works. Inside, the car has a pretty adequately sized interior for what’s a midsize car. Sure, the materials—mostly heavy-duty plastic, fabric, and vinyl—aren’t luxurious, but they are solid and clearly built to last. Has an old tape deck cassette player along with radio, nothing too fancy but just enough to get by, and frankly that’s already better than many other USSR era cars, makes sense since this was meant for a demographic that were slightly better off than the average people.

The construction is as simplistic and bare minimum as it gets, at least for the segment and what would be considered acceptable. All steel/galvanized steel construction, with wishbone suspension geometry on both ends. The suspension springs and dampers themselves consist of relatively advanced parts as well, and the spring/geometry tuning is a bit jank albeit just about what I expected for an RR car. If anything, it’s pretty authentic to what I’ve heard of USSR era car engineering.

Driving the Potok might not seem particularly interesting, since the oversquare 2.4L boxer 4 barely pushes out 99 horsepower and a rather high 170 nm of torque. The engine’s internals are made of the cheapest of frying pan materials with the pistons being of the low friction variant, to ensure maximum fuel efficiency out of the SOHC 4 engine. The lack of VVT doesn’t help, but I also didn’t expect such tech in a car like this at this stage in time. MPEFI was a bit unexpected though, but it’s very barebones and basic at best, rudimentary and gets the job done. The exhaust system is also where they tried to save their money for development while trying to keep it compliant with standards. None of it stands out as badly engineered, everything is by design.

Pretty fucking heavy at 1.35 tons for something like this, presumably for the all steel construction. The weight paired with the barely 100 horsepower figure, it gets to 100 km/h at a leisurely 12.6 seconds. Not that anyone driving this would give two shits about such things. The 4spd MT is tuned for overdrive and fuel economy. Turns like a pig too at 0.64g, if anything I expected worse out of the hard treaded 185mm square tyres. The car does feel smooth and composed when you’re just cruising. It doesn’t have the harsh ride or the rough mechanical feeling that many other Soviet cars of the time had, relatively speaking but it’s still a pretty clunky ride. The oversteery handling is also not unexpected, considering the RR layout, but it’s still a decently easy car to drive and has just enough personality to keep someone interested.

The frunk of the car is tiny, and the rear engine bay has been cleverly designed to house important bits like tyres and toolkits above the engine, which can be swapped for other necessary things for a trip. It’s utilitarian in the way only a Soviet car can be, with every inch of space put to good use.

This might not appeal to everyone, but for those who appreciate quirky, rare cars with a backstory and buried pieces of history, it’s a fascinating piece. The engineering, lore and design all made this car last as long as it did in this challenge. It took out a lot of higher performing and visually appealing cars by a respectable margin. But unfortunately, this is where I have to let it go. Farewell, Potok.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“What an interesting piece of engineering, and the design seems so familiar yet so unique. I want to consider this and it’s not even that expensive, but does it really have what I originally wanted to look out for?”

Verdict: :wastebasket:

PS: It has been a while, Steph. Great to see an entry from you. You, Yang and a few others held our hands back in the days of Automation, and I still depend on some of those teachings to this day. Good on ya mate.


Corsica Spica by @CorsicaUnknown

The Sisten Corsica Spica was, in many ways, a product specifically of its time, a 90s muscle car-inspired family vehicle with aspirations of bringing a little excitement to the everyday life. But while it looked the part, this car is a reminder that appearances can be deceiving. The Spica had the stance, the aggressive front-end styling, and the overall attitude of a muscle car, but underneath, it was much more tame. It’s a complete dichotomy to the Vista RS above.

The 3.4L V6 in the Spica, while having a lot of potential, wasn’t about performance. Producing an adequate 200 horsepower to get you around town, the Spica’s 0-100 km/h time of 8.7 seconds was respectable for a family vehicle but far from offering an actual thrilling ride. It had a four-speed automatic transmission, front-wheel drive, and cornering abilities that didn’t match its sporty exterior. With just 0.75g of cornering grip, it’s clear that this car was never intended to offer any kind of dynamic driving experience.

In the context of the early 90s, the Spica stood out primarily for its looks. I love the bold styling with aggressive lines that resembled the muscle cars of the past, and for families who wanted something different from the minivans flooding the market, it was definitely an eye-catcher. It kinda tries to fake it till it makes it and considering looking good does half the job for any product in any kind of hobbies and interests, it is quite admirable.

Personally, I would’ve liked to see a longitudinally mounted engine in this van, considering the engine is mostly square and there’s a decent amount of space at the front since it’s a conventional cab van. It reduces the era correct authenticity but would’ve added a bit more to the weirdness. The engine is very whisper quiet, linear and smooth and understressed by a long margin, which means there’s plenty of room for tuning left in there.

It’s clear why the Spica didn’t catch on. It lacked the performance chops of even some less flashy competitors, and in a market that was moving towards utility, it was caught in an awkward middle ground. Families looking for practicality found better options, and those seeking performance were likely turned off by the Spica’s disappointing specs. The 4spd AAT with an open diff and the FWD drivetrain meant it drove like your average minivan, if a bit faster. It did seat 6 people very comfortably, captain’s seats are always nice to have. But the materials of the interior and infotainment itself was pretty standard at best. For something that has 6 full seats, I’d expect a higher spec interior option than plastic, cloth and a 4-6 speaker CD/tape/radio player.

What’s more interesting is it has a variable hydraulic rack. It’s like the van was genuinely meant to be a performance van and at the last moment some suits came in and decided to ruin the party. This is why we can’t have nice things. Because honestly either a ball or a full electric power steering makes more sense here at its current spec. The spring tuning is also done with full consideration for a comfy ride, easy driving, and moderate body roll. Considering how massive this thing is, too much body roll probably would’ve caused a lot of vomit inducing experiences. So good job on that.

The Corsica Spica didn’t live up to its expectations in several ways, but it’s a great looker and it has the potential to be so much more. It’s the perfect piece of automobile to take to a garage, see what went wrong and how it could’ve been improved. Not a 100% fit for what Jazz is looking for, but it’s in the ballpark.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“I would love to bolt a turbo or two on that V6, put it on some coilovers, give it fat tyres and change up some things to see how it does… It looks so aggressive, we just need to make it match its looks.”

Verdict: :white_check_mark:


I wanted to post more reviews but I wasn’t happy with the quality of the writing. More coming soon. But I am not going back down on my promise, CSR will finish by this weekend.

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Just to nitpick: twin MPFI means two throttle bodies and manifolds, not two injectors. Any MPFI car has as many injectors as it does cylinders; the single/twin/ITB difference is specifically in throttle bodies.

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Brain fart on my end, will fix when I get home. Thancc

This is what will happen to the team of Quirk Express when spotted in the streets of London.

vg4

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Calm down. Being forced to drive a Morris Marina is cruel and unjust punishment as-is, fatal piano incident would be doing them a service.

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Forgive me if I am wrong, and if that it doesn’t work the same in Automation, but I have this vague memory about the Syclone having a 4 speed auto because it was the only transmission that would work with the 4WD system and handle the torque the turbo V6 was putting out. But I am trying to find a legitimate source regarding that point.

Hey, you are technically correct, and I did say it’d be unauthentic to have anything but a 4spd, the same powertrain also existed in an actual car of the company’s lineup according to their lore which did have the 5 spd MT. Also, you can always just claim you borrowed it from some other company/car/etc from some voodoo schmoodoo, this CSR allowed it.

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REVIEWS Pt. 5


Okay so this is where the reviews and judgement become exceptionally hard for me. I did not think of all things, actually choosing my finalists would be such a hard job. Everyone has put an insane amount of work here and I’m very proud of you guys for it. Every bin from here on out are to be considered as very high finishing bins.


Knightwick GoodWood Speedster by @mart1n2005

The Knightwick Pixi GoodWood Speedster is one of those rare cars that instantly catches your eye with its blend of classic and modern design. There’s something really special about it… it feels like a proper homage to vintage British roadsters, yet it’s pretty much a modern sports car. The fact that only 25 units were built just adds to its allure. You’re not just driving a car, you’re behind the wheel of a hand-built piece of art.

The body is apparently hand built in Italy, I can see it. It has these smooth, flowing bits with this sleek, streamlined look that could easily be mistaken for a concept car, but it’s polished enough to feel like a true production vehicle. It’s minimal, with clean lines and just the right amount of old-school flair. And when you get inside, the retro-inspired interior keeps things simple but stylish. There’s a large central LED screen, and you’ll notice how uncluttered it is—no unnecessary buttons or controls, just the essentials.

Under the hood, we have a 2.0-liter turbocharged engine that pushes out 216 hp and 318 nm torque, and that is just enough to move the 1109 kg Speedster up to 100 km/h time of 5.3 seconds, which is impressive, especially for a car that’s relatively cheap for something in this niche segment. Very reliable engine I might add, damn near bulletproof with a reliability index of near 103. Features like Direct Injection, Smart Boost Turbo Controller, and the lack of VVL technology ensure a linear and easily manageable powerband. The dual-clutch transmission helps the car shift gears smoothly, and the car feels really planted on the road, thanks to a combination of that low weight, FWD setup, and a finely tuned suspension. Thoroughly impressed by how grounded the engineering is as well. Usually people like to fly off the handle when the rules aren’t as heavy, but you’ve kept the realism in check here.

It’s really good at handling as well. 1.04g in the corners shows that this car isn’t just for cruising, it’s capable when you want to push it. Sure, it’s front-wheel drive, but thanks to the Viscous LSD and carefully designed aerodynamics, it doesn’t feel like it. The rear multi-link suspension keeps it nice and controlled, and while it has an electric power steering system instead of hydraulic, it’s still responsive and precise. I would’ve very much preferred a true variable PS rack in something like this, but I can see why you’d opt for the electric one to save weight.

One thing that really stands out is how easy the GoodWood Speedster is to live with. The adaptive dampers give you a comfortable ride for everyday driving, so you won’t feel like you’re bouncing around on a track setup all the time. But when switching modes, it can easily tighten up and give you a more focused driving experience. And with fuel economy at 5.6L/100km, it’s shockingly efficient for a car in this class. You won’t have to feel guilty taking it out for long drives. Even the service costs aren’t too bad, which is a nice bonus for a car like this. Overall reliability is on the lower end but I reckon way better than anything JLR has put out in ages.

I really wanted this car to move on, in my early drafts of top tenners, this actually did make it. In terms of getting carried entirely by visual and lore quirks, this car set out to make a name for itself and it sure did. It just couldn’t survive in a match up against some other cars in terms of the quirk balance and quirk to cost ratio. I do adore this though, hopefully we get to see this in other roadster/speedster/light sportscar challenges, where it surely will shine.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“Oh what a charming car, tiny wheelbase and yet such muscular looks. Must feel amazing to drive around on the track while having the roof down. Maybe not what I’m looking for considering other similar stuff available at a similar budget…”

Verdict: :wastebasket:


Revven Tornos 3.7 ZL AWD by @DoesStuff

This car actually has a big surprise factor for you when you first get behind the wheel. It’s a minivan on the surface, but it’s not what most people think of when they hear that word. For not an obscene amount of money, you’ve managed to blend space, comfort, and versatility, while making sure the driving experience wasn’t sacrificed along the way.

Very cool front fascia, has the perfectly captured vibes of the type of car that’d be marketed to a dad in their mid 30s who hasn’t just turned into a deadbeat yet and has some soul left. However, I’d like to say that the aggressive hood bulge aside, the fascia still looks a bit pedestrian for what it is. It’s a true sleeper with very subtle hints of being a very powerful and capable car. I’m a bit skeptical of the fully untreated steel construction in 2009 though, at this point I’m pretty sure they’d move on to partial aluminum panels. Which is hilarious because then this 2 ton MPV would’ve been even lighter and faster.

image

Strong NA 3.7-liter V6 under the hood delivers enough power to put many sportscars to shame, And there’s enough torque to move tons of weight around. The power delivery and smoothness is impressive out of a 3700cc V6, very linear and has enough grunt to make merging onto the highway effortless, but it’s also relaxed enough for those long trips. All forged parts and twin throttle bodies clearly indicate this was taken straight out of an actual sportscar. Very reliable and thermally efficient engine as well.

It has helical AWD with a helical LSD system paired with a 7spd auto, which helps this MPV launch to 100 km/h in 6.2 seconds while weighing 2 tons, and it stays planted to the road throughout. Even in less-than-ideal weather conditions, you can trust it to get you where you need to go with confidence. And if you’re pushing it through some twisty roads, the handling is surprisingly tight for a car this size. Those 245s give you plenty of grip, and for a minivan, the road feel would feel way more engaging than anything near its class or segment. Hydraulic rack and pinion steering paired with ESC means this thing can be the source of a lot of fun despite its weight, coming in at just shy of 0.9g cornering, not bad at all.

I can’t get over the interior, this is exceptionally well done. I hate to give too many points for a nice interior since it’s a very niche thing and it gives an advantage to people with more practice, creativity with interiors specifically and just time in general than those who don’t, but this is spectacularly done. The orange leather seats are bold, luxurious, and something you wouldn’t expect from a family vehicle. There’s this balance between sporty and high-end that you nailed perfectly. The toaster-style twin rear glass panels flood the cabin with light. Makes the interior feel open, inviting and airy when taking a trip.
There’s plenty of space inside too, with captain’s seats in the middle and high end premium interior materials and hardware.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“In a sea of boring family and NPC cars in white with black leather seats and 2L turbo engines, this thing stands out many ways than one, all of them are good. I’d love to take a closer look at this.”

Verdict: :white_check_mark:


Saberin Soaura L 2000EX by @shibusu

I’m heavily conflicted about this one, just like the company when it was unsure about its identity when designing this series of vehicles, but it has nothing to do with the quality of the craftmanship here, but rather if it can steal a spot up there.

The Soaura is as weird quirky as weird quirky gets. This isn’t good quirky or bad quirky, it’s just weird quirky. Everything about the base platform constructions seems pretty normal, until you look at where the engine is mounted. It’s REAR engined, and not a big one at that with a 2.2L 4 cylinder boxer, a relatively easy packaging but almost unseen and unheard of in a market segment and budget like this.

The aluminum and light forged parts of the engine indicate its intended development for higher power and sportier usecase. Very high VVL profile gap and compression settings that allows it to reach 170 hp without any forced induction at 6700 RPM. There’s a hint of torque tip near the mid-high range but that comes from the variable intake reducing the backpressure slightly, possibly to leave more headroom for modifications. Very smooth engine otherwise, a bit on the louder side which makes sense for the type of demographic that’d go for this car. Not the most reliable but it’ll survive a long time before something breaks.

It weighs only 1.3 tons so despite having only 170hp, a 4x4 drivetrain paired with a helical LSD and a 6MT, it still manages to get 8.1s 0-100kmh even after the drivetrain power loss. The 6th gear is pretty much there for highway overdrive scenarios and considering its handling and very impressive fuel economy of just 7.6L/100km, it is equal parts a highway cruncher as it is an offroader.

Read engine means the rear tyres have to be staggered in order to keep the car from oversteering. It does act a bit pigheaded, but understeer is expected in an allroad like this. The variable steering paired with traction control provides a quite a lot of road feedback, keeping the driver engaged with whatever is happening at the front wheels. Premium high end leather interior with quality electronics help with the car’s overall ride quality.

This is a weird car, by all means. And I like it for that reason. It’s like an Audi A6 Allroad on crack, a great looker with that minimal/blocked grille look at the front because of its engine being at the rear, and the interior is very thoughtfully laid out too without going overboard.

This is a very cool party piece. The tri-top would be very practical in and as unreliable of a piece of tech this would’ve been back then, it’s something very cool and fun to have. Of course, with the rest of the car being so unique and unable to pinpoint a single market segment to aim for, cars like these always suffer in the nostalgia department, as they’re mostly only remembered for their one-trick features.

So as much as I’d like to give this a top position, I have to part ways with it here. It’s a great car with a very well written lore on it being a rather unsuccessful venture for the company. I enjoyed it. But considering the competition and the pricetag of sub 9k, I have to nudge this off my initial draft of the top 10s.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“What an oddity, I’ve never seen one of these before let alone work on them. Honestly it’s not even a bad car, but I can’t decide if I want something like it in the arsenal because I think it’ll lose its charm once the weirdness wears off…”

Verdict: :wastebasket:


Lumiere Battlegeuse by @nvisionluminous

Another interesting and frankly very well made offroader proposition. This one featured in the famous show of Flop Gear, and despite it spawning off of a road going Betelgeuse, it manages to be its own unique thing.

The body has been kept the same with the usual aluminum/AHS construction and wishbone/multilink combo suspension geometry. But the bottom half of the car has been extensively modified by Wendigo, like rock sliders on the side, generous amount of cladding, skidplate and bumper combo for the front bit, an external roll cage that extends to working as a rear bumper as well, dual snorkels for the swapped out engine, etc. It’s not the most robust way to build an offroader out of a donor car, since ladder chassis and steel wins in these cases every time, but it’s the most cost efficient way of doing it by using anything that’s possible from the donor car, without muddying up the identity of the original too.

It’s a bit odd that there’s so many soft and solid body objects that sit above the roll cage, that might hamper with its ability to function properly in case of a roll, but I won’t nitpick so much.

Regardless, this is still a respectable amount of detail all around. I can definitely tell a lot of effort went in making this work outside of just converting it to an offroader but also make it look realistic.

The engine from the original car is gone and has been replaced by a 4.3L TTV6 with a further arsenal of mods that raises its power to an insane 421hp and 830nm of torque. It also achieves peak torque 1500 RPM before it reaches peak power (at 4500 RPM), so it’s tuned how an offroader is tuned for more sports/performance oriented cases than a slow and steady offroader. The diesel engine itself is about as realistic as it can get in automation with high compression, low cam profile and relatively tight lifters, DID common rail simulation, single muffler setup so the whole suburb knows you’re cruising by, good stuff.

The 6 spd ZF from the original car is long gone to accommodate the engine’s power figures and we now have a much stronger 6spd manual with a 4x4 drivetrain and a manual locking diff. With a fair bit more offroad prowess than the last Saberin’s offering, it manages to get to 100 km/h in just 6.3 seconds, only a tenth off the Revven sport van, and it manages to get just 8.9L/100km despite packing all that power. Impressive gearing setup.

Due to the unique characteristics and the amount of power going to the wheels, it has to have thick 265 tyres at the front with 295s at the back, and all terrains mean it gets abysmal cornering performance, hardly an issue when offroading though. Much of the interior had been chucked away for proper bolstered seats with more focus on steady riding experience than a cushy one. The internal electronics had also been redone to fit lighter and less high end but reliable parts. ESC seems to be present in the vehicle which could indicate an aftermarket ECM unit like an Armax was used to retain such functionalities. The suspension has also seen various upgrades that focus more on offroading with active bits thus making this a completely modern experience.

It’s a very well designed and engineered car, With an okay amount of driving ease, perceivable driving feel and quite a comfortable and soft ride even when going full tilt. The Battlegeuse was indeed a strong contender for the finals until some of the later entries showed up and managed to steal the show. Is it a bad car because of that? No. Just like many other denied entries in this list, it was inches away from getting a top spot. Great job honestly.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“This one is somehow purpose-built and true to the original car, for 10k it’s not even a bad proposition. But I might have to pass considering it’s a third party conversion and they can always be a bit dodgy no matter how well built they are.”

Verdict: :wastebasket:


Oni Tachi 200 by @Riley

Fundamentally this is not too different than some of the lightweight, fuel efficient, fast moving cars already submitted in this CSR. But this one by principles specifically tries to be as fuel efficient as possible while having the target of reaching 200mph or 322 kmh. It introduces the car to many challenges like optimal p/w ratio, drag coefficient, being able to handle well enough to be considered a sportscar, and obviously having a respectable fuel economy.

The Oni Tachi 200 comes in a body made of complete fiberglass with glued aluminum chassis to keep dry weight as low as possible without breaking the bank with Carbon Fiber. The engine is mounted midship, transversely and it uses compact pushrod suspension geometry to save on both packaging and weight.

The small 2L 6 cylinder engine is made of lightweight aluminum/AlSi construction with light forged internals, and it features a 5 valves per cam setup resulting in a rare 30 valves straight 6 configuration. I can see why the engine must’ve needed the extra breathing room. Low displacement, high cylinder count and high power delivery from the turbo 6 means plenty of air needed to function properly. The engine delivers a modest 207 horsepower and a relatively high 342 nm of torque at midrange. The turbo kicks in quite early but the torque kick still hits like a truck, which is a selling point for turbocharged sportscars. Turbo setup is quite what I expected, tiny snail pushing a low amount of pressure. MPEFI with ITB, high end performance manifold, and a pretty open exhaust system means the engine lets in tons of induction noise in the cabin and also lets out a lot of exhaust noise. Not complaining, however. Sounding great is half the mission here, so it’s doing better than a lot of sports focused economy/hybrids already.

Moving on to the mechanical bits of the car, we get a simple but effective 6spd Manual mated to the engine along with a RWD drivetrain and a helical LSD to handle all that torque going to the wheels. And it does need every bit of that grip because the tiny 175 medium compound wheels do be kinda threading the needle here. I can see why all this weirdness was committed. The car gets an insanely low 4.59L/100km for its segment and power while also doing 4.66s to 100km/h, and reaches a top speed of 336 km/h, scorching past its goals. Harder and thinner tyres do mean 0.91g of cornering at low speeds, which is not the most impressive here. But one could easily swap those out for the tried and true PS 4 tyres and get way better cornering at the cost of slightly worse fuel economy.

The interior choice obviously indicates that this is not a car meant for comfort or long road trips, with bolstered sports seats and the bare minimum entertainment system for late 90s with not even a CD player but a cassette deck (albeit of high quality), it’s definitely not a cruiser. However, infotainment upgrades are cheap these days and considering how simple this car’s electronics are, it should be a breeze. Of course staying true to its desire to be a sportscar, it still came with variable hydraulic steering and ESC to make sure the car didn’t misbehave when driving spiritedly. Adaptive dampers came as standard to make the rather tight and hunkered down ride experience didn’t feel as punishing. At just under 3 degrees of roll angle, this thing is pretty much track ready minus the tyres.

It was quite expensive for its time, and while the fuel economy is low the servicing costs were a bit higher than some other cars that compete in this segment. The asking price isn’t terrible though considering its nicheness and how much of a rare oddity it is. Overall, I think it deserves a shot up there.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“This is so close to perfection in terms of being the optimal daily track car. I’m sure our viewers would enjoy this and we can make several episodes out of modifying this one too…”

Verdict: :white_check_mark:


I’m going out for a coffee break, next update drops in a few hours!

KILL ME

27 Likes

REVIEWS Pt. 6


Paluthena Sedan Landau by @Knugcab

Congratulations, one of the retromodern cars that actually made it. This one probably has one of the most fleshed out lore among said retromodern vehicles as well. A very well thought out piece of design that does not look weird or unfinished from any angle.

Tons of attention to detail everywhere, and you’ve gone to great lengths to make sure there’s no loose seams and edges.

Lol you madman. This is a lot of carefully thought out detail and some of the things I’m seeing here are very unique and charming. I dig the overall aesthetics of this. I wouldn’t be caught dead driving this but I sure as shit would like to be driven around in one on the backseats and pretend like an asshole for a whole day.

Engineering is very typical Japanese on the platform side of things, all steel construction with strut/trailing arm combo. A longitudinally mounted iron block/alu head single turbo V6 makes enough torque to go to the moon while needing to rev not a whole lot. Efficient as well for being an SOHC design and something that lacks complex VVT and VVL compared to some other engines seen in this round. The moderately sized snail is pushing a hair above 6.5 psi and while the engine can obviously take a lot more, it’s clearly there for a linear power delivery experience. The exhaust is set up in a way that it makes the engine basically whisper quiet, as in literally the next step would be a Bentley. Very on par for how something like this would be engineered IRL. It’s decently reliable and also very smooth.

The engine is mated to a 4 spd AAT transmission and the power is driven to the rear wheels only, and while the 4th gear is basically there for overdrive, it still manages to get to 100 km/h in 8.4 seconds, which is respectable for this near 1.7 ton hunk of steel. It also takes turns in a very leisurely pace, trying not to disturb the passengers and making the driving experience as cushy as possible. The interior is basically the extremely gaudy, neoclassical hand-made interiors often found in custom luxury cars, along with a cassette deck system with a goddamn TV, ahead of its time and functional to this day somehow. Adaptive dampers are also there to ensure the springs are adjusting to the road to ensure comfort.

It’s not in amazing condition by any means but for a 90s weird retromodern luxury car, it’s not doing as bad as I thought it would be. Hydraulic Rack and Pinion is the only thing that sticks out to me, I personally expected a ball but I’ll assume there was a reason to put that in that I’m not figuring out right now. Listen none of this matters for this car because the real question for it is, does it do its job well?

When I first saw this being posted on the forum, I was already convinced that this’d be going up in the finals, and now that I’ve seen the internals I can confidently say it will. Not the most driver friendly partially due to how it’s shaped and engineered and partially due to how much the spring tuning favors the passenger, but it’s fine. It’s not super reliable and something will surely break, the fuel economy is terrible at 12.4L/100km for something like this, service costs are moderate, but goddamn is it comfy as FUCK and holds a lot of prestige value to this day. For how much the sticker price would’ve been back then and how much it costs today in an acceptable condition from the previous owner, this is not a bad snag at all.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“What a machine. Absolutely unnecessary and downright gaudy, but I want to try it out closely for some reason. Maybe I will, I’ve seen a decent amount of people wanting me to get one of these and turn them into a project car…”

Verdict: :white_check_mark:


Tiburon Panamerica by @karhgath and @Kyorg

Goddamn. Yes I had seen its design inception on discord many times, but the finished product is still so exquisite that I can’t help but gawk at it. What a bold entry and a statement to make.

Lorewise, this thing is a rebel movement towards the new generation of automobile and the coming age. While I’ve always stood against the notion to deny natural evolution of technology, considering how automotive tech looked like in the 80s and 90s of America, I don’t blame them. It must’ve been a refreshing design concept for the people in 1998 who would’ve been conditioned to semi-boxy and semi-round boring homogenized cars by then.

Part of this being a fully finished but concept car is shown in the fact that it’s entirely made of fiberglass panels, with an expensive but easier for low volume production glued aluminium chassis. Also features wheels made of magnesium presumably because this was not only supposed to be for show but also have some actual performance under the hood.

3.8L straight 6 under the hood made of an “odd but understandable choice for a concept” iron block with AlSi head, while the rest of the internals are modern lightweight forged parts. The rather large engine revs up to slightly uncharacteristically high 7400 RPM for something like this but it sounds great and lively while doing so. DOHC 4V, MPEFI with ITBs, large manifold and tubular headers, and a single muffler exhaust setup results in a engine that lets know of its presence to everyone both inside and outside the cockpit. Very smooth and decently reliable as expected out of a straight 6 too. How much does the powerplant make again?

Yeesh that’s actually pretty good for an NA engine, and it’s linear enough for sports applications. 24% thermo eff isn’t bad either.

I could barely tell what body this is. Mother of god this thing is something else.

Very stylized interior, lots of personality oozing out from that color choice. I dig it and I’d actually happily own one of these.

As we move on to the hardware of the car, everything is extremely high quality and built to perfection. If some of the cars we’ve had had the quality of built in a shed with questionable craftsmanship, this is the antithesis of all those builds. This 2 seater might look like a PLV from the outside, but it is a true sportscar from the inside. Bolstered sports seats with an exceptional amount of work done to make them both highly lightweight and functional while also not having to sacrifice comfort, same quality is reflected on the rest of the dash. The superbly ahead of time SatNav system with a functioning touch screen, CD stacker, dual-zone climate control and other car controls is an anomaly too. And most importantly this clash of two different priorities doesn’t feel like an identity crisis, but rather feels like intentional duality.

The drivetrain system is very true to 90s America, 4spd AAT with RWD and a clutched LSD system letting the car bolt to 100 km/h in 5.1 seconds. Not surprising as it’s a very lightweight car at 1.2tons. Although it might seem like a car with a large footprint, it’s actually rather compact at 2.5m wheelbase. No wonder the decision was to keep it a 2 seater, making it a mixture of a sportscompact and a PLV.

The existence of a sport undertray, 295 rear tyres and rear heavy weight distribution makes you think what on earth were the engineers thinking, but then you look at the steering curve and it all makes sense. It takes corners surprisingly well for what looks like a nose heavy, cushy coupe at over 1g of cornering force. And with air suspensions, it can easily switch between ride height options depending on driving modes.

Overall, this thing is an anomaly of its own kind. It’s extremely ahead of its time, a guaranteed head turner every time it shows up somewhere and capable of making for a half decent daily with decent reliability, fuel consumption and acceptable service costs. What also impressed me was the sticker price when new, lots of price optimization went in this so the used price came out cheaper, and I appreciate that effort.

Choice quote from Jazz:

“Golly, I never thought I’d see one of these for sale, let alone in pretty much mint condition. I don’t even need to think twice, this is making in the shortlist.”

Verdict: :white_check_mark:


C̵̖͝o̴̤̐n̵̬͂n̸͎͘e̵̩͆c̵̟͆ẗ̴̳́i̸̛̺ō̶̺n̶̨̄ ̵̼͛t̸͔̆e̴̓ͅr̴̼̀m̸͖̎i̵̫̐ṋ̶͌à̴̗t̵̡̑e̶̛̤d̴͙͐.̵̧́

̸̪̍Ȋ̴̹’̴̚ͅm̸̘͝ ̸̼͐s̴̱̓o̴̪͒r̵̦͋ṙ̴̦ỹ̷̮ ̷̤̂t̷͈̂o̶̟͌ ̸̜͊ỉ̶͕n̴̜͆t̵̥̋e̷͔̊r̷͙͂ŗ̸͝ŭ̷̹p̷͉͒t̵͉͂ ̵̳̔ỵ̷͆ö̸́ͅu̶̡̓,̷͕͗ ̸̖͝W̷̥͒r̶͔̔e̶̜͐k̷̟͘t̷̰̄

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Fazcar (Video Script).docx


T̵̪̽̈́͛h̷̢͔̲̀͐͘ȋ̴͓̳̹̺̈́̈́͋s̵͔̗̮̀̏͝ ̸̮͇̲̉͜e̴̛̻̘͜ņ̵͚̠͐̐̽̚d̸͕̳̃ş̵̲̆ ̷̞͛̄f̷̼̪̭͂͗̄o̷̺̮̗͂̂̌͝r̸͚̯̳̻̈́̂̂̈ ̸̖̱̊̈́̇͜a̸̧͔͎̐l̴̹̽̑͘͝l̵͇̏͛͝ ̷̥͕̻̅̌̓̿͜ȏ̷̗f̴̦̐̂͝ ̷̳͇͉͖͂͛͝u̸̢̫͈͂̐s̵̳̜̃́͋.̵͎͈̀̃


Let me take you through the horror that is the Fazcar. The first time you hear it, that scream—piercing the air as if it’s forgotten its place in this dimension… you’ll wonder if it’s calling you or warning you. You’ll ignore it, of course. You’ll twist the key, and with a shriek of the engine going straight to 9,300 RPM for a second, it will demand your attention. And you’ll listen, because you don’t have a choice.

The car looks like it’s been pulled straight from the most ominous parts of subliminal spaces. It’s part parodical, part terrifying. The orange, teal and red paint job tries to make it look like a fun and friendly piece of design, but as we all know from nature itself, that is a trap. Its body is draped in lines, each of them emulating the face of a well known urban horror figure. The headlights glare with a cold intensity, like the eyes of a predator. The rear end says “FAZCAR” and a bumper sticker rather vulgarly announcing that the Purple Man is the copilot, and “they’re cruising for bussey”.

Is this where you want to be, trapped forever?

This machine exists because we keep asking for more. More and more power from cars. A 5.0-liter flat-plane V8, tearing through the roads with 777 horsepower… 777, a number too perfect for something so imperfectly human. “I̸̙̓ ̶̱͋a̴͎̽l̸̠͝w̶̑͜ã̸̼y̵̯̎ș̶̽ ̸͂ͅc̵͜͠o̶̺̽m̴̼̓e̸̳͘ ̷̥͐b̷̘̉ȧ̸̲c̵̬̑k̵͔͠” You don’t know why it’s so powerful, but you’re here, trying to hold onto whatever semblance of control you have left. The engine also sticks out like a sore thumb because of how massive it is, and the blower mounted on top of it doesn’t help either. It almost has this cartoon racecar look and it doesn’t help with comic relief, only enhances how freaky it is.

The active sport suspension system? Possibly stolen and frankensteined from some poor luxury sports car. How can something feel so unstable, yet pull you through like it’s done this a thousand times before? It’s like you’re at the mercy of a violent, graceful force that won’t let you leave until you’ve seen everything. Until you’ve felt everything.

B̸̭̉r̶͖͊e̸̫̋a̴̧̎k̸͓͘ ̴̨̔ö̵̠́f̵̼̑f̴̙̐ ̷͍̍l̵̘͛i̷͇̕m̸͔̐b̶̦̽s̶̮̃ ̶̣̈́ạ̵͋n̴͓͝d̵̗̉ ̶̝́h̶͆͜e̶̟͐ą̶͋d̷̲̾s̷̻̀.̷̯̂
̴̠̚
̸̦̐P̵̡͑î̴̞l̸̘̐e̵̟͋ ̸̨̚t̴̹͝h̵̠̆ĕ̶͇m̵͉̕ ̸̳̈u̶̦͝p̴̤̽.̵̲̋
̸̝̾
̴̫͂E̴̱̍á̷̳s̶̻͌y̸̙̎ ̴͋ͅṕ̵̜ȩ̸̀a̷͚̚s̸̛͎ÿ̴̲́.̷̛͇

The Fazcar’s manual transmission forces you to negotiate with it. The moment you engage the clutch, you realize it holds the power. You’re just along for the ride, with a 6-speed manual and a viscous LSD trying to calm the rear wheels long enough for you to figure out who’s in charge. (̸̢̓Ș̵̀p̵̫͝o̶͍̅i̶̜̒l̶̦̀e̵͔͒r̸͇̒:̵̡̛ ̶̗͋i̴͖͝ţ̸̐’̸̞̎s̸̯̿ ̵͔̈n̸̯̽ŏ̷͜ṯ̷͝ ̵̯̾ỳ̸̝o̵̻͂u̶͍͂.̸͓̓)̵̭͛ You floor it, the wheels spin. The 315 width semi slicks screech in pain. The car doesn’t so much accelerate as it does warp reality around it.

Inside, it’s disturbingly lavish. Almost mocking. Or is it? I couldn’t tell. When I peeked in there, it only seemed like a glowing hue of purple aura that didn’t allow me to look properly. I tried to look again but every time I look, I can’t tell because of the odd lighting anomaly. And every time I look, my memory of how the interior looks like changes. Am I making any sense? Am I going Crazy?

Corners? Corners are not your friends. Corners are a contract you sign in blood. The Fazcar pulls 1.35 Gs, but it doesn’t just hold the line; it rips through it like paper. You don’t corner this thing—you survive it. “It’s me.”

You’d think it would be more predictable, maybe, but that’s where you’re wrong. You’ve been told stories, numbers, and specs, but they don’t explain what this is. They don’t explain the feeling of staring into something this powerful, wondering if you should even be here. Because the Fazcar isn’t here for you. It’s here because it needs to be, and you? You’re just a passenger in the ride of its life.

“I̷̞̊’̷̯̈́m̷͉̓ ̷̖̈́s̶͇̍o̸̼̒r̷͈͆r̶̰̚y̸͓͂ ̴̣̃t̶̨͝ò̷̻ ̸̯͗ï̸̮n̴͎͌t̴̪̆e̴̝̽ṛ̶͑r̸͇͂u̸̧͋p̸̖͠ẗ̸̘́ ̵̨̏ỳ̸̝o̵̬͝ů̴̼…̴̦̾ ̸̣͠I̸̞͝f̸̤͠ ̷̛̲y̸͍̏ő̸̪ṳ̷̊ ̷͙͝s̶̙͘t̴̤̓í̸̮l̸̢̎ḻ̵̾ ̷̧͝ĕ̵̥v̵̟̾e̵̢͗n̴̢̈́ ̵̞̏r̷̊͜e̷̅͜m̴̤̀e̶̼̔m̷̘̃b̵̢͗ē̴͇r̸̭͌ ̶̯̈́ṭ̴̾h̵̟͆a̴͔͊t̷̟͝ ̷̥̊n̸̻͂a̷̻͘m̶̯͝e̵̗͌.̵͎͋”

It doesn’t stop. 100 km/h in 4 seconds, but it feels longer. The time slows, stretches, as if the car is daring the laws of physics to try and cage it. It doesn’t care for rules, but you have to. You’re still human, and the Fazcar reminds you of that at every turn, every acceleration, every braking point. You aren’t built for this. But you keep going… I̴͚͛ ̶̗͠á̴̬l̵̳͂w̶̭͗a̴͎̐y̶͎̓s̵̻̈́ ̸̳̈́c̸͍͠ö̶͔́ṁ̴̗e̸̬̋ ̶̘̾b̷̹̄a̸̞̓c̷̠͒k̴͔͊.

No one built this thing with logic. It wasn’t crafted. It was conjured. It had to be. And it’s still changing, still evolving every time you step into it. It’s a machine, yes, but it’s something else, too. **“T̶̲̄h̸̛̜e̵͉͑s̶̨͑e̶͈͒ ̶͙̿a̴̤̕r̷̆͜e̸͈̿ ̶̭̂ș̴̊ẗ̴̤́r̵̘̊a̵̺͠n̴̪̎g̸̻̅é̸̳ ̷̖͐c̷̪̽i̷̩̓ȑ̷͔c̵͙̽u̶̬̒m̶̫͗s̵̙̄ẗ̶̥́a̵̘͝n̸̻̐c̵̼͊e̷͇̓s̶̺̒.”

I am not brave or reckless enough into dabbling into this, pictures of it just showed up in my DM’s one day from an unknown stranger, and it was within close proximity in a dilapidated building so I thought, “Might as well”. The keys were neatly kept right on top of the rear left tyre, and simply touching the fob unlocked the car… I regret even leaving my house that day. I didn’t sleep properly for days. The view of the car still haunts me. As I was driving away in my NSX after inspecting this… thing… I was deathly afraid that it will start following me, even after knowing full well no one would be manning the car. The account that sent me the DM? Gone. Couldn’t find any traces of it anywhere. Tried googling, nothing showed up.

H̸̼͑e̷͍̋’̷͍̑ș̸̛ ̴̱͑h̶̬͊e̷͈͆r̴̛̺ȩ̸͆,̸͎̽ ̸̹̎a̵̘̐n̷̜̽ḏ̴̄ ̷̱́a̸̻̅l̷̳̏ẅ̶̺́â̵̘ỹ̴̝ś̸̱ ̶̰͒ẘ̸͈a̷͍͠t̸͈͐c̶̡͝h̶̻͠i̶͓͊n̵̞͝g̶͉̏.̵͊ͅ

̶̘̓Ţ̶͂h̴̫͐e̸̢̓ ̴̺͘o̵͔̎n̸̫̕e̶͜͠ ̵̤̈́y̴̤̚o̸̰̓u̸̙̽ ̶̳̉s̴̞̀h̶͎͠o̶̹͂ṷ̷͆l̷͚̈d̶̙͋n̶̩̏’̵̲͒t̶̖̾ ̶̢̇h̷̛̟a̷̩͠v̶̝͒e̵̳̚ ̷͓͝k̷͈̊i̴̛͜l̶̞͘l̸̛̻e̵͔͠d̸̨͒.̶̯̚

I don’t even want to think about it now. Best if we leave this in the past.

Ţ̶̆h̴̼́ì̶̻s̵̡͑ ̶̹̔e̸̝̅ń̸̦d̶͠ͅs̷̫̕ ̵̯̌f̵̛͓o̴̧͐r̶̨͝ ̴͕̋a̵͍̽ḷ̴́l̷͍͒ ̵̼̏ŏ̴̯f̴̨̀ ̷̯͂u̴̥͝s̶̲͘.̵͉͠
̸̺̇
̵̬̀Ę̵̇n̶̤͒d̴̗͝ ̵͕̕c̵͈̎o̴̍ͅm̸͇̎m̷̜̑ȗ̴̺n̷̫̾i̵̲͠c̷̹̆a̶͉̒t̸̞̅i̵̬͂ò̷̗n̸̬̽.̵̟̋
̵̧͊
̴̲̚b̷̼̈́e̵͚͐e̶̩͊p̵͖̓


That one took a toll on me LMAO.

Listen I’d really love to finish the reviews rn but it’s currently 3:30am and I have work. You all have my word, final 5 reviews plus finals come in the next 24 hours. I swear on my mum if I ever take a challenge again I will make sure my life remains uneventful for a bit KEK.

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