Was I supposed to sing that bit?
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Thanks to @BoostandEthanol pre-empting my tagline, I had to mash it a bit to avoid plagiary charges - and no one ever said frenchmen were able to speak english correctly, anyway !
SARA Varappe - the world is your crustacean
Snow. Sand. Mud. Rocks.
Since 1960, the SARA Varappe turns these impediments into mere anecdotes in your trips.
Wherever a Land Raver stops, the journey starts, with a smile, for the Varappe.
You’ve seen its iconic fascia all over the globe, on every surface the good mother Earth offers.
The (somewhat) new, '86 “Emerging Countries” edition is the offroader that offers the most, for the lesser check.
- More offroad capabilities, with 70 cms ford crossing abilities (more with optional snorkel), up to 45° slope angle, a high ground clearance, a short wheelbase, and a 5 speed manual to pass every obstacle, in every situation.
- More practicality - depending on your choice, you can have from 2 to 9 seats (front bench and third row bench optional) - and you can remove a bench to get more cargo space with a basic wrench (toolkit included in all trims)
- More utility - You can load more than the vehicle weighs, 1300 kg and then some, with also close to a ton in towing. Also available in pickup truck trim
- More reliability, with the iconic Quasi Diesel® I4 engines, known around the world for their robustness, simple, easy to fix steel panels, and sturdy fixtures. You might think it misses fancy chrome trimmings at the start of the journey, but you will love that nothing misses from the car after driving eight hours on a laterite track !
- More comfort - in the standard trim, comfort is not null, while being less than 1 - forget about binary logic with the Varappe !
- More speed than is legal in most countries, reaching over 85 mph / 140 km/h in a breeze !
- Less constraints on fuel quality - The Emerging trim of the Quasi Diesel® runs comfortably on 80 RON fuel - or ethanol, or whatever hydrocarbon you can find*. By special order, even lower RON constraints can be achieved, down to 76 (at the expense of performances and fuel economy)
- Less fuel - the Varappe will return 16,8 MPG (US) - less than 15l/100 in normal use, while running 80 RON fuel !
- Less injuries - the Varappe is easy to drive, with hydraulic assistance, and features up-to-date safety equipments, with disc brakes on all four wheels, even in the Emerging Countries trim - this means less risks of accidents, and lesser injuries should an accident happen
- Less service costs - The Varappe is designed with ease of service in mind, with a sturdy electronic injection system to lenghten the service intervalls - no more vapor lock, no more carburetor tuning ! (carbureted version available by special order, at the expense of performances and fuel economy)
- Less pollution - The Varappe offers a three-way catalytic converter, and a modern injection system
(*) I had to refrain from the booze jokes, @Knightophonix was the first on these…
All of this starting at 3600$ !
8285$ adjusted, 0 markup
14 Likes
LSV Crusader
Crusader is the little brother of the luxury pickup Vulcan.
Unlike the luxor, Crusader is a budget pickup and the LQF model comes with slots in the doors for armor panels, engine that can use low quality fuel and a sunroof, that can be used in many ways like watching the sky or mounting a LMG to it.
A single Crusader costs 8508$ (0% markup)
more text might appear
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Deus Vult
The Revero DLF: For your utility and offroad needs
This Revero DLF is a car that was made with the army and the people in mind, and at only 11000$ (0% markup) it makes sense as a sensible choice. With an 80RON, relatively fuel sipping I4, it is good for long runs where you need to run on one tank, and when you only have access to the mildly spiced water that’s called fuel in some regions. And with 60+ as the offroad score it won’t get bogged down either. It is also reliable enough to spend a lot of time on the field without major issues and looks sturdy enough to be a military vehicle but generic enough so that the average Joe would have no clue what it really is.
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The military appearance of my last competitor was raising a few eyebrows, so here’s the new and totally harmless Malibu Lifeguard LG-4. The Hoff would be proud!
Available in a wide range of bright colors, and also two suspiciously muted colours - Dolphin Grey and Sand Yellow. Why anyone would want one of those colors is beyond me, but preliminary sales figures suggest these are very popular with some of the larger Archanan dealerships.
Yours for $14037
The iconic profile with upright front and rear windshield for excellent visibility and generous room inside to swing a gat cough I mean cat
The versatile rear compartment behind the front bench seat features plenty of cubby holes for your neon bathing costume and sun tan lotion. Maybe even a high capacity magazine or two. To read by the pool, obviously.
The handsome rear-quarter view shows the beautifully balanced rear design with protective heavy duty edging that mirrors the front end.
The “Lifeguard” logo is jauntily offset to one side.
The low-profile tyres are designed to still operate for 25 miles should you suffer a puncture (from running over an especially sharp ice cream cone, for example).
The large 17" steel wheels also allow for fitment of large drum brakes all round for dependable offroad performance. All tyres are the same specification, meaning easy roadside maintenance in the event of a puncture. A full-size spare wheel is included under the boot floor.
Roll guards and a grab hoop are included as standard equipment. Find your friends lost at sea with the optional pop-up searchlights, what with it being the 1980s.
There is a fully opening targa / sunroof should you have to throw a life preserver or shoot a glance at attractive beachgoers 
So what are you waiting for? Call your Malibu stockist today and schedule a test drive!
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“…how do you know about PUBCRAWL, South?” Jim Franks asked, his eyes narrowing as he leaned back in his chair.
“I caught wind of it from a high-level meeting I attended, and asked a few questions to some important people…besides, I hold the requisite clearances.” Olaf South replied. “Listen, I know this isn’t exactly a welcome intrusion, but you need my help here.”
“Is that so?” Jim asked, a little annoyed, “I’m fairly certain I can navigate this procurement without the need to consult with someone outside my team.”
“You very well could, Franks,” South replied, “But there’s also a chance you could ball it up and end up in front of the Director…or the Committee…explaining how you wasted fifty million taxpayer dollars on a bungled coup.” South paused for a moment, “You need my help, I’ve worked in procurement back when I was in the military.”
Jim sat silently for a moment, evaluating his options. “I’m assuming this comes with some strings attached, South?”
“We should meet…I will explain my plan to you then. Can’t do it over the phone, too many people might be listening.”
“Fine. What time and when?” Jim asked, as Domingo came into his office, handing Jim a slip of paper, reading, “Memorial Park central monument, middle bench, 12 noon”.
“Oh, nevermind…I just got your message; yeah, I’ll be there.” Jim replied.
“Good, you won’t regret this.” South hung up the phone, leaving Jim more confused than ever.
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It’s come to my attention that somebody is using a mod that they released several days after the start of this round.
I get that it may seem cool to show off your new creation in a particular context, but even disregarding any stat differences in the new mod itself, this makes for a flagrantly “uneven playing field”. I would have thought it common sense that the parts you have at the start of the round are the parts you get for the whole round in a series that is about trying to arbitrarily reconcile fairness and objective data with subjectivity, not to mention all tournaments unless it’s specifically about creating mods. And here I was thinking maybe I was too detail oriented writing the rules page. Do I really have to add more rules to cover these permutations?
My current recommendation (assuming the above allegations are true) would be to disallow that entry from placing, though it may be kept as an exhibition if the host of the round wishes.
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Well, I will allow it for this round with reservation, since neither I nor the general rules have expressly prohibited that sort of thing from their challenge.
However, I think it should be a general rule for future challenges that any mods that debut during the challenge window should be disallowed for the current round, if only on principle.
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Albatross Motors presents the new Albatross T100. This military edition comes with a 2.5 liter, 12 valve I4 engine, specially tuned to be able to run on poorer quality fuel, which makes 104 horsepower and 120 lb-ft of torque, while still maintaining a reasonable 14.3 MPG on 80 RON fuel. Where the T100 shines is offroad, with 4-wheel-drive and coil sprung solid axles with locking differentials front and rear. It even seats 5 people. Both the civilian and military variants of the T100 come standard with a 4 speed automatic transmission. Best of all is the price tag. The military edition of the Albatross T100 is available for only $9364. See your local Albatross dealer for more.
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Gasmea Van Co. proudly presents the all-new Vanster Offroad package. This takes our standard rwd i4 van and makes it into a fierce offroad machine. Being a 4x4 with 245 all-round beefy offroad tires, all-round disc brakes and a 3-speed manual with locking differential, you know you have the traction to trek through any surface. With front and rear solid axle leaf springs, soft off-road oriented suspension and 17 inches of ground clearance, you know you have the suspension to climb any obstacle. And with a 3.5 liter V6 producing 138 hp and 140 lb-ft of torque even on 76 AKI (80 RON) fuel, you know you can power through any challenge that heads your way. And the best part is is that it’s a sleeper, weighing only 2600 lbs. thanks to fiberglass panels and being capable of 105 mph on the road while appearing to be a basic rwd cargo van with crappy lifted suspension! Get yours now for under $12,000!
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Please be kind this is my first building competition and post. 
Still wound appreciate constructive criticism. (yes I know the camera angle is trash.)
1 Like
First off, don’t double/triple post. Bad forum etiquette, and not a good first impression.
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You should use the ingame cam to take the photo, instead of using some other cam. That way, the ROG Gaming Center thing shouldn’t appear.
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Maybe this time, I’ll actually remember to send the damn file in
Also, something extra…
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Jim Franks pulled his collar up, to keep the cool, damp wind at bay. Sitting on the bench in the park was a tall, stern looking man, with a short haircut and a no-nonsense demeanour about him - a career military man, Jim thought to himself. “Colonel South, I presume?” he asked, extending his hand to the seated figure.
“Yes, you must be Franks,” South replied, giving Franks the once-over. “I imagined you would have been a bit less bookish, based on your service record. Come, sit down.”
“I’m very busy, so I’m going to get to the point; why are you interested in PUBCRAWL, South?” Jim asked, his eyes narrowing as he studied the man’s response.
“I like it, you’re very direct!” South exclaimed. “You see, my position with the National Security Council allows me to operate outside the purview of both the military and the intelligence community, which can prove to be rather beneficial when we need to lean on someone, or something, to secure our best interests as a nation.”
“Isn’t that illegal?” Jim asked flatly.
“Not illegal, but sometimes allowances have to be made in order for my people to work efficiently, and to carry out the orders I’m given.” South replied.
“And who gives these orders?” Jim shot back.
“From the highest offices, even the President sometimes.” South replied coolly. “And I will have you know, in the 23 years I’ve been in the uniformed services of the Repubic of Gasmea, I have never disobeyed an order, not once.”
Jim sat for a moment, thinking. “And what do you want in return from me?”
“Just your consideration on this project. Our interests align more than you might think here.” South replied, pausing for a moment. “I will do the best I can to make sure your little motor pool gets the vehicles it needs, don’t worry. All I can do is ask you to trust me.”
Jim thought about the pile of reports coming in from Tech Division on the candidates, and how much time it was going to take to go through them all. “Fine, you’re in as soon as I clear it with Director Knight, but I’m going to keep an eye on you, South.”
South extended his hand to shake Jim’s. “You’re doing a great service to this country, Franks, and to freedom in general. And by the way, I’ve already spoken to Director Knight, my approval should be on your desk later this afternoon.” With that, the two men shook hands and went their separate ways.
Returning to the office, Jim sat down at his desk, with yet another new folder sitting front and centre. Sighing, he opened it up and gasped at the contents. Inside the folder, there was a single piece of paper, with a typed message on it:
DO NOT TRUST OLAF SOUTH, HE IS A TRAITOR.
BUILD RAPPORT WITH HIM, EARN HIS TRUST
YOU WILL BE CONTACTED WITH FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
DO NOT SPEAK TO ANYONE ABOUT THIS.
14 Likes