Would you please stop offering baseline “I know what this is” comments to most of the builds you see around here? It’s not productive.
15 Likes
Thanks.
1 Like
Full Submissions:
@Riley
@Ch_Flash
@Knugcab
@abg7
@the-chowi
@z2bbgr
@Atomic & @Maverick74
@HybridTronny & @Tsundere-kun
@shibusu
@crwpitman1
@ChilPollins
@RAZR
@Happyhungryhippo
@mart1n2005
@vero94773
@doot
@Ludvig
@Danicoptero
@conan
@TanksAreTryhards
@donutsnail
@vouge & @Maxbombe
@Vento
Ad, no .car:
@missionsystem
@Oreology (withdrawn)
@MoteurMourmin
@karhgath
@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T
.car, no ad
@Executive
@BTCheetah
@66mazda & @DrDoomD1scord
Please let me know urgently if I’ve missed you.
6 Likes
Here
There
Everywhere
A car for every occasion. That was the goal of Bellerophon Motor Company when they set out to design their new liftback sports coupe, the Viaggio. Timeless Italian styling looks good anytime, anywhere: from the drugery of the morning commute to the joys of the Italian Lakes. The all new, all aluminum V6 was created specially for this model and combines with front double wishbone suspension to make sure that the handling and performance match the styling, so your new car is up for anything. Available now from your local BMC dealer starting at just 12900AMU.
3 Likes
15 Likes
1987 Midlands Cygnus GX
Rally bred, road ready
✦ Lore
Sometimes, a small 3 door hatchback is just a fuel efficient grocery getter. Other times they’re fire breathing monsters that tear up Norwegian rally stages like a hot knife through butter. The 1987 Midlands Cygnus manages to be both. Aggressive looks born from its roots as Groupe B rally homologation platform are juxtaposed against the almost mundane levels of fuel economy and driver ease. Seen here in the GX trim, you have a slightly more posh treatment of interior materials paired with the weight savings of a paired down radio unit. You can easily blast “Hungry Like The Wolf” by Duran Duran at full volume and it’ll sound great, but the symphony of a N/A V6 behind you provides its own soundtrack to your spirited driving.
Spirited driving is just what the Cygnus engenders in its owners, with rally proven AWD, a lively 161 horsepower, and a 5 speed manual with fully synchromeshed gears. This produces performance similar to a mid range Porsche 911, with a 0-60 of 6.78 seconds, a top speed of 141 mph, and consistent almost 1 g of cornering grip on standard road tyres, not fancy sports ones that have to be changed out every summer. With this sportscar like performance comes all of the practicality and efficiency of a small 3 door hatchback. You do only have two seats, but you have the cavernous rear cargo area that easily fits things such as: a full load of groceries, 4 or 5 guitar cases, a full drum kit, a small christmas tree, or two of your daredevil friends who think seatbelts are for suckers. Thanks to the rear engined nature of the majority of Midlands vehicles, the Cygnus also has a fairly ample frunk to carry even more things, such as more temperature sensitive items. You also have a solid 26 combined MPG, which despite not being true econobox levels of efficient, it’ll still steer you clear of paying any gas guzzler taxes. The msrp of only $13,300 is a much lighter buy in than most sources of this level of performance as well. Overall, the 1987 Midlands Cygnus GX provides aggressive rally racer fun in a convenient, easy to live with package.
Specifications
✧ 2.66 L DOHC 2v, N/A V6
✧ 161 horsepower @ 5800 RPM
✧ 166 Ft-Lb of torque @ 3800 RPM
✧ 1054 Kg
✧ 5 speed syncromeshed manual
✧ 215 55R15 Turbine rims
✧ 6.78 sec 0-60
✧ 141 mph top speed
✧ $13,300
18 Likes
A collab with @DrDoomD1scord
pov: you don't have enough class for a Kaizen
The power of Eitr, distilled for the street
1987 Aurgelmir Fenrir
Introduction and some specifications
Aurgelmir, named after the first of the Norwegian supernatural beings known as Jötunn, is the luxury brand of Ragnarok. Founded by Swedish engineer Lars Nilsson in the US, they benefited greatly from the Allies’ efforts during WWII. Leveraging their experience in international business, proud marketing, and sound, functional engineering and design, Ragnarok took on the reputation of a company that was highly willing to take risks, in terms of overhauling its existing designs and adopting potentially groundbreaking new ideas. Aurgelmir sought to elevate this excellence, adding a bit of class while being more approachable to the American population than its competitors.
The Fenrir is one of their signature models, serving as the personal luxury coupe. After all, it’s namesake suggests someone a scrappy, aggressive upstart that can hold its own with the gods of their segment.
This generation, first introduced in 1987, can be considered a significant step forward for both the nameplate and the brand. With significant international competition, a more complete balance of performance and comfort was desired, while respecting a reasonable level of economy.
They say that Aurgelmir was “born” from Eitr, a poisonous substance. Like it’s namesake, the Fenrir was born from a taste for power, in the mechanical sense of the engineering and the customer’s achievements and desires in life.
Power can be corrupting, so engineers implemented several ways of controlling it, most notably with the use of an advanced 4 wheel independent suspension allowing greater control of vehicle dynamics.
Standard equipment includes a modern 4 wheel, 4 channel antilock braking system with 4 wheel discs, a 5 liter 230 hp OHV V8, a ZF4HP electronically controlled 4 speed automatic transmission delivering power to the rear wheels, alloy wheels, power steering and accessories, and a well appointed interior.
Most options centered on improved performance, including a sport package that retuned the suspension, brakes, and aero while adding a limited slip differential and the option of a 5 speed manual. For both versions, a 280 hp 6 liter V8 was offered.
VEHICLE TYPE
Front-engine, rear-wheel-drive, 4-passenger, 2-door coupe
PRICE
$25,000
(note that this represents the theoretical actual pricing, not in-game price)
ENGINE TYPE
Eitr 50BR1
Pushrod V8, iron block and heads, port fuel injection
Displacement
5.0L, 4997cc
Power
230 hp @ 5100 rpm
Torque
280 lb-ft @ 3300 rpm
TRANSMISSION
4-speed automatic
PERFORMANCE
Zero to 62 mph: 7.5 sec
Top speed: 155 mph
EPA FUEL ECONOMY
Combined: 16 US mpg
20 Likes
1987 Hitachi HT80 Tempest
Born to drift
Lore
What was supposed to be a budget sport car for the mass, a faulty calculation while in development has crippled the car with oversteer, although it is minor but this can sometimes impact drivers’ experience. To counteract this, Hitachi had a rather clever idea to advertise it as a car for drifting, and so, if anyone complains about the oversteeryness of the car, well… They bought a car for drifting!
Specification
Layout: Front-Engine, Rear Wheel Drive
Engine: HI4
1.8 liter DOHC Inline 4 Turbo, the HI4 engine is capable of producing 208bhp @ 6000RPM, 282Nm of torque @ 4100RPM.
Transmission: HM50 5-Speed Manual Transmission
Wheelbase: 2.39m
Length: 4.25m
Width: 1.75m
Curb Weight:1082.7 kg
2 Likes
Full Submissions:
@Riley
@Ch_Flash
@Knugcab
@abg7
@the-chowi
@z2bbgr
@Atomic & @Maverick74
@HybridTronny & @Tsundere-kun
@shibusu
@crwpitman1
@ChilPollins
@RAZR
@Happyhungryhippo
@mart1n2005
@vero94773
@doot
@Ludvig
@Danicoptero
@conan
@TanksAreTryhards
@donutsnail
@vouge & @Maxbombe
@Vento
@BTCheetah
@karhgath
@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T
@MisterRocketMan
@Portalkat42
@66mazda & @DrDoomD1scord
@04mmar
@Fantic2000
Ad, no .car: (You guys are out)
@missionsystem
@Oreology (withdrawn)
@MoteurMourmin
.car, no ad (24 hour grace period to post ad)
@Executive
@moroza
@LS_Swapped_Rx-7
Again, please let me know if I’ve missed you - y’all get 24 hours to contact me if I did. Also: This means 34 .car files entered. Let’s pare that down, shall we? Instabins coming soon.
15 Likes
1987 Mercer Scorpion R/X
Introducing the Mercer Scorpion, updated for the 1987 model year. God damnit we miss the 60s too and lying about our power numbers, but things are slightly warming up as now our 5.2 liter V8 makes a whopping 240 horsepower! It’s… something I guess.
Is it even economical? Can it turn? Has the suspension been modernized? Who gives a fuck? It can haul ass from 0 to 60 in just 5.7 seconds? In short, your complaints about the ancient solid axle are invalid. The least we can provide for now is this fancy new alien tech called fuel injection.
So what are you waiting for? Become the coolest kid in the trailer park now for just $13,600, a case of beer, and a pack of cigarettes.
19 Likes
Someone say “speed”?
Someone say “metal”?
Here at Norðwagen, we know a thing or two about both.
Derived from the Þor supercar, the Nightslayer is a more budget-friendly alternative, designed to be a worthy chariot for the up-and-coming stage god. Designed to work; like, to schlep you and your shit around. Designed to inspire your harder and darker art. Designed to SLAY. All NIGHT.
208hp? 240? 286? Bah! The Nightslayer’s 6666 cubes of doom summon three hundred horses from hell that might get an even run for 5.7 seconds to 100kph, but keep them running and watch them SLAY! For $14k, you won’t get much more speed anywhere else…
…and with the standard-equipment premium CD sound system that already goes to 11, it doesn’t get much more metal than this.
7 Likes
(Left to, uhh, right: Clyde Dominator GTS @ChilPollins; Veloce Giove S/C Turbo @Ch_Flash; Empire Phoenix ESP @Atomic & @Maverick74; Torrent Riptide B6b @crwpitman1; Ilaris MR @shibusu; Phénix Hyperion 24V Clubsport @karhgath; Brumont Grand Imperial TurboLimited @Maxbombe & @vouge)
The Bunker, September 22, 2 PM
The concert had been a success on the face of it. Revolt benefitted from a responsive crowd, and Rob in particular put down a crushing vocal performance which would - unbeknownst to him at the time - be remembered long after: by his advocates for its passion, and by his nitpickers for his handful of spoonerisms and ad-libs.
Whether this on-stage triumph could be monetized would remain uncertain for some time; in the meantime, the four musically-inclined degenerates behind the performance rested, having only just stirred into life to encounter a mean hangover. And once the slow and satisfied chatter about the concert ran its course, the conversation drifted back to Saturday night’s topic: Rob’s search for a car.
David: Didn’t you say the other day that you really dug the way those Clyde Dominators looked?
Rob: I mean, yeah, but they’re still way outta reach. And hey, Johnny-boy, didn’t you say these things weren’t right or something?
The guitarist stirred; with his naturally high tolerance, he was less out of it than the rest - and used that fact to fill the air with his grievances.
John: “Weren’t right” is letting 'em off easy. We’re talking about a hopped-up muscle car, simple as dirt and all that, that gets sold for over 30 grand. Rob was thinking 14, this thing doubles it and then some! And that’s not to mention that they posture and pump it up as the last great hunk of American muscle, but the engine’s got a dumb cutoff, the rears lock on a dime, and Christ, if you go fast enough you end up going backwards if you try and turn!
Rob: Yeah, what he said. 30 grand, for God’s sake.
(Binned for exceeding the price limit. The idea for the car is good as is the general design direction, but the engineering is sloppy - leading to flaws such as massive 70hp power drops in the gearing and high-speed terminal oversteer. The techpool is legal, but it’s the default amount - though as far as I’ve experimented, the car is still incapable of making the budget even if it did have 75 points of techpool)
John: I’d suggest something like the Empire Phoenix… Not quite as fast, but it’s just under 14 grand.
Luke: Hey, no! All Empires are doomed to fail!
David: Heh, they kinda are. The metallurgy on their V8 bottom ends is some kinda crap. You don’t want one’a those.
Rob: Don’t gotta tell me twice. It’s got the ass only a mother could love, too.
(Binned for techpool: The bottom end is set to +1 when the minimum is +2. A decent build, but would not have been a finalist due to only “good” straight-line performance.)
Rob: Nah, want a real pity? The Brumont Grand Imperial. I love that car. Just… Love it to death. It’s pretty as hell, it’s fast as hell, it’s cool as hell. But apparently, Brumont’s suppliers are so crap that as of right now, practically every other steering pump on the GI Turbos comes out broken!
(The bin is for incorrect techpool (sum of 76, even on the attached techpool picture); however, there’s a bunch of cheese to speak of in the car’s construction itself, most notably the manual rack steering in a vehicle weighing 3300 lbs. Like the characters say, a great shame - this is otherwise one of the prettiest cars here, and well-engineered as well all cheese aside.)
David: I have a whole gaggle of stories like that. The Veloce Giove isn’t my cup of tea, but I know a couple guys who swear by the Italian stuff. And then there’s the Phénix Hyperion - a car I thought would do real good when it launched. Guess what? Both delayed by months because of teething issues. Wouldn’t go near them right now.
(Two more techpool exits: the Veloce is one point over, the Phénix - three points. Neither car was really finalist material, though the Hyperion was the closer one.)
David: Of course, that’s not as bad as the Ilaris MR and Torrent Riptide. Both those cars got pulled off the market and investigated for failing emissions targets.
Luke: You’d give the Riptide a chance otherwise? Torrent’s factories are kooky as hell! I heard on the radio the other day that one of their assembly robots broke down after they managed to put an engine into a car sideways so bad it got stuck.
(Both binned for using engines from 1986. The Torrent is also guilty of a whole gaggle of sensibility and realism red flags - like solid front discs, hard-compound tires on a sports car of all things… Or, I don’t know, the transversely-mounted boxer engine.)
Rob: Okay, I’ve just about had it with this. Feel like I got spiders in my head. How about we hit up a burger joint, lemme clear my head, and then we’ll talk about it later?
INSTABIN LIST
@ChilPollins
@Atomic & @Maverick74
@Maxbombe & @vouge
@Ch_Flash
@karhgath
@shibusu
@crwpitman1
26 Likes
I am sorry for everyone out this early, but the junk picture actually made me laugh so hard I woke up the dog
11 Likes
At least the side view of my car looks alright lmao
pain
1 Like
At least you can see those sweet sweet dual exhausts on the Dominator.
The Bunker, September 23, 11 AM
There was no gig the next day, so the four were basically doing whatever. John and David were in another room trying to get some complicated riff to work, leaving Rob and Luke free to… Play Super Mario Brothers.
Luke: I’m telling you, there are probably game systems like this on the other side of the Wall. No way they can miss out on this.
Rob: Yeah, no way. Best-case scenario is, they’ll just copy this Nintendo in a few years and call it something else so copyright doesn’t get 'em.
Luke: You say that like they’re incapable of making anything of their own! I know you’re a scab, but are you seriously into that “those dirty commies” mentality? The borders are all imaginary, man!
Rob: I swear, Luke, if you don’t stop quoting John Lennon, I’ll send you to him. Then you can “imagine” the Ruskies having Nintendos together. And you know what else they don’t have? Good cars. Speaking of, I still have no idea what I’m getting.
Luke: Again with your earthly possessions. But okay, you want a fast car, right? Why not the Xf Frieze?
Xf Frieze - @Vento
Rob: No chance in hell. It looks like a platypus, and it’s not even that fast.
Luke: Not fast? But they can go 150!
Rob: Yeah, if you just floor it past five cops on a highway. It’s slow to accelerate, and the engine is one rough piece of work so you can’t enjoy it. And I really can’t get over those looks. Actually, you know why I even know what this thing is? It’s because I found it in an “ugliest new cars today” list in a magazine, and it wasn’t alone.
(Eliminated for hardly even resembling a car - let alone a rear-drive sportscar. The front end makes it look - like Rob said - like a platypus, the indicators are just slapped onto the fenders, and on the rear, the license plate cutout is ridiculously large. The wheels are the default steelies despite the engineering saying they ought to be magnesium wheels. Moreover, there are some questionable engineering elements, too: The 2.1-liter i5 engine is supposed to be rather high-revving and all that, but it has a standard-mid single-point injection system alongside long-tube headers. It also has next to no balancing mass and thus idles at - wait for it - 1600 RPM.)
Luke: Well, at least you’re not only judging this book by its cover. But what were the other ugly cars?
Rob: Well…
Hitachi HT80 Tempest - @04mmar
Rob: There was also this Hitachi thing. There’s something very wrong with your priorities if you give a car fenders the size of Macho Man but then stick black plastic bumpers on it.
Luke: Hey, I know the car you’re talking about. Didn’t it have some sort of new turbo tech in it?
Rob: Sure did. Apparently it still doesn’t spool before 4000 rpm, which means they suck at their jobs.
(This would have been eliminated for looks - but looking through the rules again, I actually have to outright bin it for its twin-scroll turbo, which is prohibited by the brief. And - again, in the characters’ own words - it doesn’t even spool properly regardless. And then there’s the BMW M1-style mechanical per-cylinder injection, billet crank, and so on… Lots of expensive parts thrown together without the refinement needed for them to work.)
VAM 200e - @doot
Rob: This VAM thing has a similar problem: Wide rear flares, nothing to back them up. Just what seems like a bar of plasticine stuck to the side.
Luke: Okay, now, you’re judging a book by its cover. This thing has a very efficient intake with four throttle bodies, and is one of the best-handling cheap sports cars out there!
Rob: Well, why am I paying for four throttle bodies when one’s enough? I’d rather pay for the displacement to not be 1.8 liters, or something. And besides, this book’s cover looks like somebody spilled a can of cream sauce all over it. Even you wouldn’t read a book covered in cream sauce.
(Eliminated for being a nearly-blank body with huge, unwieldy trim and bumpers clumsily slapped onto it. And what’s with so many people in this comp slapping ITBs onto their cars? Increasing your displacement is free, while even this per-cylinder intake cost $700 extra.)
BMC Viaggio - @BTCheetah
Luke: Well, if you want something pretty, get an Italian. I got a magazine here with a picture of one.
Rob: Oh, so now borders mean something to you? Being Italian doesn’t prevent the BMC Viaggio from looking 15 years old out the factory doors. And neither will it prevent it from rusting to the ground long before it actually turns 15.
Luke: Is it really that bad?
Rob: Yeah, a bunch of Italian manufacturers still don’t rust-proof their chassis. This thing’ll fall apart faster than an old Civic. And from this very article you’ve handed me, they describe the handling as “wallowy, uneven, and then if you push it too hard it’ll kill you”. That’s kind of a turn-off.
(Eliminated for an unacceptably low environmental resistance, but it’s just generally not brilliant. This seems like a vague approximation of a GTV6; but next time you make something like that, make sure its handling is actually as good. Because as is, it somehow manages to have super-stiff front springs and dampers, 7.5 degrees of body roll, and terminal oversteer in the same package. Despite 30mm of stagger.)
Iris Resau T/Evo - @Danicoptero
Luke: Okay, well… Here’s a literal rally homologation thing with a mid-mounted engine. that’s gotta be fast enough for you.
Rob: Can you stop with the whole “gotta” thing? It’s like you don’t want me to actually think about this thing. ‘Oh Rob, it’s fast, what’s not to like?’ - Oh, I don’t know, the upkeep cost for one? They barely make the parts you need to keep it in one piece and you void the warranty by looking at the sales guy wrong. Also, it’s got an ass only a mother could love - it’s like it’s been mauled by a bear.
(Eliminated for huge service costs - one of the two highest of the pack. And while its resemblance to the Renault 5 Turbo is noted, every part that’s different - such as the relocation of taillights upstairs - just makes it that much more unpleasant and bugly to look at.)
The two-man jam session next door comes to a close; David walks out and joins the two on the couch
David: You know, you’re not gonna get much done if you just pulling random car names out your ass and look at magazines. There’s auto TV programs for that stuff, and I’m pretty sure if you tell John you wanna go to the drag strip with him he’ll actually kiss you.
Rob: I don’t want John to kiss me, I want a car. Matter of fact, I got one more name up my, uh, sleeve.
Hinode MID2 Turbo - @S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T
Rob: I really, really dig the MID2 Turbo. It looks good, it turns good, it’s fast as all hell.
David: Yeah, problem. You can’t afford it.
Rob: Whaddya mean? It’s 14 grand. I can literally go out and buy it. And it’s a Hinode, not like it bruises easily.
David: No, but if it does they might not even fix it. I actually wanted one of these myself, but apparently most of their dealerships aren’t even qualified to sell or service these things. Really complex, and they never keep the parts in stock.
(GODDAMMIT I DO NOT WANT TO ELIMINATE THIS CAR! Looks good, well-engineered, fast. Spoofs one of my real-life dream cars, too. Thing is, it and the above R5 clone have service costs in a whole different league compared to everything else. If not eliminated, it would have been only just passed over for a finals choice, if my mental calculus works out correctly.)
Rob: Well, that’s a crying shame. Alright then, we’ll do it your way. MotorMouth reruns and a drag strip visit, huh? Bring it.
25 Likes
Yay thanks for the great review 
How am I supposed to find the idle RPM I don’t see that, and should I not have low balancing mass I did a negative balancing mass because it raised sportiness