So the .car file was bugged and I can’t submit a new one because judging’s started? I guess I’m sitting this one out?
If anyone wants the .car, here ya go. Apparently open beta only.
Good write up. Thank you.
Aaaand I have seemingly returned. At least the tagline didn’t lie… i’m guessing
But still, I really like reviewing style! Not too overly long and to the point. I like that
Edit: thank you for complimenting the design!
this formatting fail ruined my hopes for having gone to round two…
i was like "Huh i was not tagged here… must mean something…"
then:
at least it looked the part.
Expected it to be polarizing, but at least it wasn’t downright ugly.
So: goal achieved
Round 1 (part 2 of 3)
Dr. Wurstmacht returns to CNC autos, which looks slightly poorer than before. It could be the repo truck trying to haul away the expensive engineering equipment.
CSM Darius FT
by @Nicking_HC
W: Hello, Mr. SUV. Hope you’re doing good today.
P: Are you drunk?
W: No, I just ate some funny tasting Tic Tacs.
P: Um, okay? Anyways, what do you think?
W: I do like the British racing green. Reminds me of the good old days. And it looks like it can handle well offroad.
P: It does! It’s very capable offroad and it doesn’t disappoint on road either.
W: Sounds good, but the fuel economy isn’t the best. I’m not too keen on the looks either. I think I’ll pass this one.
P: Very well. Let’s move on to the second car of the day.
Rejected. Good offroad, average otherwise. With better handling and fuel economy it would’ve been very good. The design is somewhat outdated, although the rear is pretty nice.
Evgenis Orthros
by @Cheeseman
P: This is the second car, SUV once again.
W: Well this one is quite nice looking. Is it good?
P: Very! It’s fuel efficient and excels both on and off the road.
W: Tempting. I haven’t heard any bad things about these either.
P: Should we book a test drive?
W: Absolutely!
Accepted. Basically great at everything. No real drawbacks, but isn’t the best at anything. Way more balanced than the last accepted entry. Almost nut-worthy design.
Suddenly Panzerfaust and Wurstmacht hear a loud crash and see a beat-up car delivery truck bashing through the fencing around the lot. The truck drives besides them and a frequent customer of the doctor steps out, American crackhead Subutex Willer. (SW) Willer starts mumbling something about needing more ‘’speed’’ and presents a “magnificent piece of automotive industry” as CNC executives would call it. “Gentlemen,” Willer begins, “may I present to you:”
Minerva ER
by @Lava_cake
P: What the hell do you think you’re doing? You smashed our damn fence!
SW: inaudible mumbling
W: Jesus, what have you done this time?
SW: The… package… please?
W: sighs and hands Willer an unidentifiable package
SW: giggles Thank you, sir. Here is a car. Yes, a car. I know you’d like it, it’s a car after all. Yes, car. Starts mumbling about cars
W: Haha, no.
Rejected. Meme V10 car. This was a surprisingly solid choice. Doesn’t look half bad and drivability is pretty good. Suffers from a low offroad score and average fuel efficiency.
ManyGermanWords Ambulance
by @Mikonp7
P: Goddamnit, the fence fell on this one. Do you want to move on or…?
W: No, it looks like something you could use in a zombie apocalypse, in a good way. Seems really rugged.
P: Wait, I think the fence didn’t even dent it. I guess those extra protections paid off.
W: Ruggedness aside, how does it perform?
P: It’s fine, I guess.
W: That’s not very convincing. Are you trying to hide something?
P: Well… It got stuck on a curb when we moved it here.
W: On a regular one or one of those lowered ones?
P:…a lowered one.
W: Pass.
Rejected. Abysmal offroad score, worst of the pack. The design is really neat with and without the ambulance kit. Drivability is low, but fuel economy is decent.
Reduit Automotive
by @kobacrashi
P: Next up we have a Citroën… …Hold on. That ain’t quite right. This isn’t actually a Citroën, although the badges suggest otherwise.
W: That’s… odd…
P: Well what do you think of this V8 beast?
W: It has a V8? Those plastic bumpers make it look like a really low-end vehicle.
P: Funny how you mentioned low-end, as this one admittedly isn’t exactly as it seems on paper.
W: Well I don’t really care how it drives, because this one just would not represent my company as I’d like.
Rejected. Outdated design makes the car look like it’s from the 90’s. Very low drivability score and high fuel consumption have also a negative effect on the car. Just about clears the bar on most stats. Also worth noting are the car’s massive service costs, which are three times higher than of the other cars.
Himejima Notetsu 2.2LPT-e AWD XLE (Good lord what a name)
by @Keikyun
P: Next one on the line is this van.
W: This one looks quite different than the rest.
P: Yes, that might have something to do with the shape of it, as this isn’t of the usual style in the European market.
W: I’ve heard intriguing things about this one. It should have hydropneumatic suspension, shouldn’t it?
P: You are correct. This one has some special features besides the shape. It is well composed as well and should be great to drive.
W: I doesn’t seem to have any glaring flaws either. Sign me up for a drive.Accepted. For a van this one has good fuel economy and impressive drivability. Balanced, high stats overall. However, the simple and bland styling could be its downfall.
Kezume Xenia 350x
by @On3CherryShake
P: Next to that Nissan 350z we have a Xenia 350x from Kazume.
W: Very appealing wagon I must say, but how is it to drive?
P: Good!
W: How good?
P: Good!
W: Ugh, so it’s good but not that good?
P: Basically, yeah.
W: Too bad, I liked the looks.
Rejected. Pretty much good at everything, but not good enough at everything. Simple, but pretty and well-composed design. High fuel consumption.
P: Watch out for this sentry!
W: NANI!? Where!?
P: Here right beside me, but this one is just a car, so don’t worry.
W: Looks pretty intimidating, but not as intimidating as a sentry would be.
P: Well yes, but that’s a good thing. An intimidating SUV makes people assume that you have a big ding dong.
W: Um. What about its performance?
P: This is the best offroad car we can offer to you right now. It’s also good on road.
W: The fuel consumption is pretty high, though. And although intimidating, it isn’t very pretty. I think I’ll pass.
Rejected. Good drivability and the best offroad car of the lineup. However, the fuel economy is one of the worst and the design’s proportions are off with comically small lights.
Last batch coming tomorrow, round 2 and the winner most likely on Monday.
Slep and step on snek again? Yes.
Slightly worse wishes this time, me and me (LS)
10 Likes
Closest I’ve ever been to getting through to the second round. I’m a little salty, but it’s fine!
well, that was close. A better outside and fine tunning the engine and the car woul be ok…
Ahem… sorry, had to. 
Well, was a noble attempt, but once again my lack of eco tuning knowledge or no turbos did me in. Likely the latter, as always in these cases.
If I can ask, what were the aspects which dated the design? I was afraid the opposite would’ve happened during the designing process…
Well I do think that it looks from 2007-ish. It’s slightly too rounded, in 2012 cars were starting to get more… edgy. The lights are spot-on though. And… well, I think that it looks a bit like a car that was made in Kee, so that could’ve messed my brain up a bit.
I can’t offer any better explanation right now.
I fixed the name though.
Round 1 (part 3 of 3)
Having taken a break, Dr. Wurstmacht returns to the car lot. He likes to weigh his options while eating his homemade sausages. CNC Autos looks dinkier than ever before as half of the dealership has been demolished. Mr. Panzerfaust is fearing for his job.
Legacy Utility
by @CaineW: A seemingly pleasant start for the day. What does it do?
P: Well, driving and stuff. It can do everything.
W: Can it do a backflip?
P: Probably.
W: Can it hit 88mph?
P: Yes, easily.
W: Does it travel in time?
P: Not backwards, but it’s getting older all the time so yeah.
W: It can’t do everything then.
P: Ugh.
W: It piqued my interest, however. Sign me up for a test drive.
Accepted. Damn good-looking SUV that does everything well. It’s only downside is the high fuel consumption.
Ambiwlans
by @Flamers
P: Now, I know what you’re thinking…
W: I am pretty sure that I was looking for a vehicle from this year, not something from WW2.
P: You see this is actually quite modern with its fancy headlights and… uhm… Yeah I can see your point.
W: Looking inside through the window: Why is there water inside?
P: It’s probably just the chrome trim on the cup holders… Real shiny stuff, that is. Nervously wipes off sweat from his forehead
W: Why is there a hole in the roof?
P: That’s the sunroof.
W: Yeah, no.
Rejected Cool idea, but the execution is somewhat sloppy. While violating all good taste, it sports one of the highest drivability scores. Has a low offroad score and high-ish fuel consumption.
Ninomiya MC400V OP
by @Urbanliner
W: Another flat-nosed van. You said that these are rare here or something.
P: I did and I stand by my words. These are imports from overseas, you see. We’re the only ones offering these in the whole country.
W: Does it have any bad sides?
P: Not really, it’s great on all terrains. The fuel consumption is okay, I think.
W: Hmm, we already have a van like this booked.
P: Does it matter when they are both excellent cars?
W: Not really. Sign me up.
Accepted. Everything works. Great drivability, nice engine, good looks. Fuel consumption is average, but hey, you can’t have everything.
Milae Zenith SBE5 Lite
by @XepyP: Here is an SUV from Korea. Real fancy one if I might add.
W: Finally the industrious little fellas are making good looking cars!
P: That’s not a very nice thing to say.
W: Oh, shut it. What do you have to say about it?
P: It’s good at everything!
W: Again? Is it good enough, though?
P: Indeed! Want to go for a test drive?
W: Why not?Accepted Good in every category, but fuel economy is remarkably good. The design is interesting, but very pleasing to look at.
Rhisuki Veruli U2
by @Repti
W: Did Karen of some kind leave this here?
P: No, that’s one of the cars that could be suitable for you.
W: You sure? It looks like a soccer mom car.
P: Um, no? Do you have something against this one, or what’s the matter?
W: I don’t know. I don’t like it.
P: Is that your bottom line?
W: Yes it is, because I said so.
P: Fine, let’s keep moving then.
Rejected Karen can keep this alongside her kids. Okay looking minivan, but stat wise it suffers from the same thing as many of the others: it is good, really good even, but isn’t quite good enough.
Armor Briar Estate
by @GassTiresandOil
P: Here we have an Armor…
W: Hold on… This is already the second car with an intimidating name. Sentry, Armor… What’s next? Intercontinental ballistic missile?
P: Oh, don’t let the name scare you, it’s a fine car.
W: Alright, what does it offer?
P: Good drivability and comfort with sacrificed fuel economy.
W: How big was the sacrifice?
P: Big.
W: Oh no.
Rejected. Again, good, but not good enough. Its biggest drawback is its fuel consumption, which is only topped by the next reviewed car.
Americar FreedomWagon
by @nerd
Dr. Wurstmacht and Panzerfaust start walking towards the next car when suddenly they start hearing helicopters in the distance. Fortunate Son can be heard playing faintly in the background.
W: This is a very American approach to an SUV.
P: Indeed. It is impossible to not notice this behemoth of a car that is leaking with freedom.
W: Is that oil on the ground?
P: That’s what I said, leaking with freedom.
W: That can’t be good.
P: It’s normal with this model.
W: Is that legal?
P: Probably not.
W: Nope, fuck this.
Rejected. Bad at almost everything. Worst fuel economy of the pack. Weirdly it also has one of the worst offroad scores. Worth noting is the massive amount of torque that the turbocharged 9L V8 produces: 951 Nm @ 1700rpm!
Chaffinch 3.0i Estate
by @Mr.Chappy
W: Is this a car?
P: Yes, it very clearly is. Why do you ask?
W: I’m getting a bit tired, I’m having a hard time differentiating a Soviet tank from these.
P: Are you comparing this car to a tank?
W: Well yes, it’s kinda pretty, like a tank. I’m assuming a tank would be as equally good to drive as well.
P: Either you’re thinking of a great tank or you don’t like this one too much.
W: The latter one.
P: Aw. Might as well move on to the next one then.
Rejected. Like a Soviet tank, this one has below average stats, but does its job. Even with the seemingly small number of fixtures it looks nice. Has a high fuel consumption.
Troda Ravineer
by @Centurion_23
W: Oh hello there. You look nice.
P: Oh, thank you. What do you think about the car?
W: I was talking to the car in the first place.
P: Dammit.
W: But yeah, it looks nice enough. Seems to have great fuel economy.
P: It’s pretty good to drive, too. Not the best offroad though.
W: Pretty good, eh? Sorry, I didn’t hear “excellent.” Moving on.
Rejected. While suffering from a low offroad score, the Ravineer has good fuel economy and drivability. Looks are basic, but they work. Nothing bad to be said, really. It just wasn’t quite good enough.
Albatross Mojave
by @ZSCHMEEZ
P: Alright, this is the last car we can offer to you. What do you think?
W: Looks promising enough. Kinda basic looking, though.
P: That is true, but the it’s good to drive, goes well offroad and has great fuel economy.
W: Sounds good. Anything else?
P: Not really. Test drive?
W: Test drive.
Accepted. Unlike the countless other good cars, this one was good enough to get to the second round. No real flaws, but the design is basic.
People not binned:
@Xepy
@Urbanliner
@Keikyun
@Caine
@yangx2
@Cheeseman
@ZSCHMEEZ
Second round date: tomorrow. If it doesn’t come, yell at us. If that doesn’t work… Well, we’re most likely dead. That happens sometimes.
This time we will step on solid snek.
Bad wishes, me and me (maybe LS, not sure anymore)
12 Likes
I would class my entry as left field, very, very left field. I just couldn’t bring myself to build a samey looking SUV 
Round 2 Sponsored by SouthVPN
It is finally the time for Dr.Wurstmacht to choose his new car from the ones he test drove. CNC Autos is almost nonexistent now, only the seven cars are left of its inventory. Panzerfaust’s expensive suit is missing, he claims that the company sold it to keep itself in business. Today he’s wearing his Spongebob T-shirt.
The men start discussing about the doctor’s decision now that he has test driven the cars.
@Keikyun - Himejima Notetsu 2.2LPT-e AWD XLE
P: Let’s start off with this one. What did you think?
W: Well this wasn’t as good as I expected. It wasn’t very comfortable and when I took it to the gravel roads it felt like it shouldn’t be there.
P: How was it on the asphalt roads though?
W: It did well. It’s good and easy to drive. The seating position takes some time to get used to, but it’s nice. However, comparing it to the other cars it might be my least favorite of them.
P: So you won’t be buying this one?
W: No, I won’t.
P: Let’s move on to the second van then. Shall we?Pros:
- So middle of the pack stat-wise that it doesn’t really have any features that make it stand out. Balanced.
- Had the second-cheapest service costs of all the cars, not just the ones that made it into round 2.
Cons:
- The design was pretty blank. Needs more details.
@Urbanliner - Ninomiya MC400V OP
W: This van felt a tiny bit better to drive, but the ride wasn’t exactly comfy, as it felt less comfortable than the Himejima.
P: That was expected, as this van should be better, even with a lower price. Did you notice anything else?
W: Actually yes I did: this one was a lot better on those gravel roads. It felt almost as if it was made for them.
P: So what do you think? Should we place an order for one?
W: Definitely not. While this is a decent car, I know there are others to top this one.
P: Well the next car is over there.
W: Let’s get to it then.Pros:
- Exceptionally good offroad
- Cheap price
Cons:
- Pretty low comfort (even though we did not score it because of that, just worth mentioning)
@yangx2 - Huangdou Starlight
W: Oh yeah, this one! This was a dream to drive.
P: Yes, this brand is known for its driver-friendly cars.
W: And the fuel economy was brilliant. However, when I hit the gravel road it felt like it wanted to kill me.
P: Oh?
W: And on top of that, it had the weakest engine of all of these. It was screaming like a devil when I drove it up the mountain road.
P: This might not be the car for you then.
W: Certainly not.Pros:
- Best drivability of them all
- Good styling
- Very good fuel economy
- Cheap
Cons:
- Really bad offroad score
- Weak engine
@ZSCHMEEZ - Albatross Mojave
P: Moving on to the SUV territory, one of these should be the one for you.
W: Yep, and it’s not this one.
P: How so?
W: Compared to the others I drove, this was the worst to drive. However, on the gravel road it handled just like it should.
P: But the fuel economy is so good, are you sure that this isn’t the one?
W: I’m 100% sure.Pros:
- Good offroad
- Good fuel economy
- Cheap
Cons:
- Not that great drivability
@Caine - Legacy Utility
P: This is the second specimen within the SUV territory, what did you think about it?
W: Looks-wise this was one of the best and it was pretty decent on and off road, but it guzzles a lot of fuel.
P: Well gas is pretty cheap today, so should we sign the papers?
W: What about tomorrow? It won’t be cheap by then with my luck. The whole car is expensive too, I want the best bang for my buck and this one does not offer it. I don’t want it.
P: Fine. Let’s go then, but be warned, you’re starting to run out of cars.Pros:
- Pretty styling
- Balanced, good stats overall
Cons:
- Thirsty
- Expensive
@Cheeseman - Evgenis Orthros
P: This is the second to last now.
W: I am fully aware of that and I will pick the other one over this.
P: Why, may I ask?
W: This one is worse.
P: But…
W: I guess you’re going to ask: “how is it worse?” Well, it has higher fuel consumption and is slightly worse offroad.
P: Isn’t this one better to drive though?
W: Yes, but I think that the other one is better in other aspects.
P: Shall we go to look at it then?Pros:
- Great main stats, drivability, offroad and fuel economy
- Pleasing to look at
Cons:
- Cons? What cons?
@Xepy - Milae Zenith SBE5 Lite
P: So this is it?
W: This is it. I can’t say anything bad about it.
P: Want to sign the papers now?
W: Let me admire it for a while first. It’ll be my trusted partner for a long time now.
P: Take your time. We’ll seal the deal when you’re ready.Pros:
- Best fuel economy
- Good styling
- Great main stats
Cons:
- Nada
1st @Xepy with the Milae Zenith SBE5 Lite!
2nd @Cheeseman - Evgenis Orthros
3rd @Urbanliner - Ninomiya MC400V OP
4th @yangx2 - Huangdou Starlight
5th @Caine - Legacy Utility
6th @zschmeez - Albatross Mojave
7th @Keikyun - Himejima Notetsu 2.2LPT-e AWD XLE
After a close battle, we determined that the Zenith was the winner. Although it was lacking in drivability a bit compared to the Orthros, it made up in other stats. It was a better all-around car and it was 1100$ cheaper, too. The other cars couldn’t really even touch these two, they were the real stars of this round.
Honorable mentions:
Best looking design: @MasterDoggo‘s Daito Elisa! Hot van, need to nut.
Best potential: @yangx2‘s Huangdou Starlight. With a higher offroad score and beefier engine there would’ve been no car to match it.
Good but bad: @Flamers’s Ambiwlans. Honestly, there was potential. Better design and offroad score would’ve meant round 2!
Stupid meme which we loved: @Lava_Cake‘s Minerva ER. Got too many good laughs thinking of what to write and shit, thanks lol
Was that too many mentions? Probably.
(Sorry for not getting better pictures but my (LS) computer went full toaster mode and would crash every time I closed an imported car. Also my (Detsi’s) life choices wouldn’t allow me to access automation, whoops.)
Also please give feedback on the round. As said before, this was the first time we’ve hosted anything so all feedback is greatly appreciated.
Congratulations to the winner, see ya lads next round!
14 Likes
I’m hot for the next challenge! 
congratulations to the winner and the finalists, can’t wait for the next challenge and hope to do it better
Thanks for the host, guys!
One-tricking drivability was a fun challenge
Whoo, another win 
Thanks for hosting!
Again will be passing down hosting.
4 Likes
Thanks to the hosts for this round.
I’ve got no reason not to host the next round so I think I’ll take on the task. Let me think of some ideas and I’ll get the thread up.
6 Likes
Oh thank you for this reward 
1 Like
Seems you have the recipe and know what people are looking for. 
I still think too realistic for these challenges, but it was only my second challenge ever. 
I’ll get the hang of it! It’s great fun this! 
Here, have some new stuff.
5 Likes