TEAM OUTRIDERS
16:00:
(The Enforcer flies down the road at high speed. Marc expertly weaving past traffic and carrying on.)
Zach: OH MY GOD!! YOU’RE GOING TOO FAST!!! AAAAHHH!!!
Marc: No such thing!
Zach: That was our tires screeching as you swerved!
Marc: Felt good!
Zach: Din’t you see those movies they show in high school? Red Asphalt? Blood on the Highway?
Marc: You just named two of my favorites sonny!
(Weave, swerve)
Zach: whimper
Marc: Just close your eyes and think of Christmas.
(tires screech)
Zach: Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen,
When the snow lay round about…
Marc: Deep and crisp and even.
Blake: yawn What’s going on?
Zach: Marc’s trying to kill us!
Marc: Try a few bars of Silent Night.
Blake: Don’t worry, Marc’s got cop training.
Luigi: Yeah, but his driving is crazy even by cop standards.
Marc: Oh please, you drive like an octogenarian with Parkinson’s.
Luigi: Kiss my ass! And I heard what you were talking about earlier, take my advice Zach: Don’t take any relationship advice from this flaccid moron.
Marc: Like you would know anything about relationships.
Luigi: They used to call me the Love Doctor!
Marc: Oh please, the only thing women like about you is when you stop talking!
Luigi: I know more women than you’ve ever known.
Marc: And you’ve had the clap so many times it’s more like applause!
Luigi: Better than needing a blue pill every time I meet someone. Marc here needs Viagra just to jerk off!
Marc: This is the shit you left me to deal with Blake, this quota employee.
Zach: Quota?
Marc: Yeah, he was only hired because it fills several quotas for diversity. We’ve got foreigner covered, homo, retard. The city must’ve made a killing in tax deductions by hiring you! Whoa, hang on!
Zach: Why are we slowing down?
Blake: That. (points to a State Trooper on the side of the road, radar gun in hand)
Zach: How did you know he’d be there?
Luigi: He’s part of the Fraternal Order of Police, they all know who sits where so they can best abuse the law.
(Time passes, the Enforcer stops for fuel in Lincoln)
Marc: I told you before and I’ll say it again, this decision to kill our fuel mileage with this engine costs us. Not only in money but time spent refueling.
Luigi: So we gotta visit gas stations more often, all we have to do is beat the other guys to them.
(In the station)
Zach: I noticed Marc and Luigi saying a lot of shit to each other.
Blake: I know, great isn’t it?
Zach: What, that they’re going to kill each other?
Blake: You don’t understand them like I do. Notice how earlier neither of them were saying anything?
Zach: Well, sort of.
Blake: Because we were all concerned with the car and the water pump. Now we’re back on the road and making excellent time. They’re gonna start talking shit again.
Zach: So they talk shit to each other when they’re in a good mood?
Blake: It’s a good indicator of Morale. The more it improves, the more they carry on. So how’s school going?
Zach: I don’t know.
Blake: You don’t know? What, do they not post grades?
Zach: It’s not that, I mean it kinda is. I don’t feel any motivation. It’s like I’m going through all this, but with no goal i sight. No end game planned.
Blake: You’ll figure something out.
Zach: I’m thinking of dropping out.
Blake: … I see…
Zach: I knew I shouldn’t have said anything!
Blake: Hey, look. College isn’t necessarily for everyone. I mean, why did you enroll?
Zach: Well, I know it was rather important to Mom. Plus I’m out of High School, isn’t that what’s next?
Blake: That’s my point. You’re not looking for a specific vocation, you’re not going for a degree related to anything in particular. You’re just going because you think you’re supposed to.
Zach: So you’re not disappointed?
Blake: Who’s standards are you judging yourself by? You’ll figure something out.
Zach: But what if I don’t?
Blake: Do you know who Laura Ingalls Wilder is?
Zach: Of course.
Blake: She didn’t write Little House on the Prairie until she was in her sixties.
Zach: I didn’t realize she was that old when writing it.
Blake: Before that she was focused on surviving on the prairie.
Zach: I’m not following you.
Blake: My point is there are many successful people who didn’t hit their stride until later on in life.
Zach: …
(Rings up drinks and snacks)
Blake: Come on, let’s get back to the car.
Zach: So long as Marc doesn’t kill us.
Blake: Relax, he may drive really fast, but it is nowhere near reckless when he’s behind the wheel.