Tiny car but I love those taillight innards
CLOSED FOR SUBMISSIONS.
I got additional submissions from the following users:
@FidleDo
@ItsWrench
@KILO
@Knugcab
If you made a submission but arenât mentioned here or in the above 24-hour-warning post, please tell me so I can double-check.
ROUND 0 - ELECTRIC FUNERAL (Instabins)
30th of August, 2012
8:43 PM
Keith Phillipsâ Residence
Keith: Oh, Jesus weptâŚ
The barely audible mutter broke the silence in the familyâs living room. Amanda, who was lounging on the couch after a busy Thursday, perked up to see her husband looking dejectedly at his Sixth Gear magazine.
Amanda: Whatâs wrong, love?
Keith: Itâs this Apex car. Look at it.
Keith flips over his magazine, revealing a picture of the automobile in question.
APEX RISING SUN - @ldub0775
Amanda: Fwaah. Thatâs one mean cabrio.
Keith: And thatâs just the thing. Itâs gorgeous, itâs a cabrio, it revs to ten thousand for crying out loud. I would skip the search and just buy it here and now. Problem is, the reason the carâs in the mag is because itâs just come out and thereâs already been two fatal crashes. The airbags wonât deploy.
Thereâs a moment of silence as Keith grimaces, letting the revelation sink in.
Keith: Carelessness is what this is. Carâs amazing looking, but Iâm not gonna buy something that hasnât even been tested properly. Such a shame.
(Binned for exceeding ET limit: Value is 170.7 against an allowed 170. There was also the minor issue of âCloneâ being in the model and family names, but I would have forgiven that if not for the ET gaffe. Ldub, I love your cars, I love this car, but youâve got to start checking your entries before you send them in. It would probably have been a finalist, you know.)
Leksi GSXR - @ItsWrench
Keith: Hereâs something funny, though. Have a gander at this.
Flipping over to a page he was holding onto with his thumb, Keith reveals an article about an emissions scandal involving several kit car manufacturers.
Amanda: Whatâs that got to do with anything?
Keith: Well, I figured youâd be terrified of me trying to get some mad racing car, but it looks like Iâve got nobody to buy one from anymore⌠Those poor bastards have been nicked for using surplus engines from a few years back, with no emissions equipment onâem. Leksi especially is in hot water, it looks like they arenât going to be making any GSXRs anytime soon. Look here.
Amanda leans forward to look at one of the pictures in the article - a small, mean-looking orange track car.
Amanda: You⌠Werenât thinking of buying one of those before, were you?
Keith: Nah, not seriously. It looked pretty intimidating, but itâs years behind on development and refinement. Plus, Iâm not looking for a track day special.
(The design was made by somebody relatively new to Automation - or at least making Automation cars - and it shows, with a sub-40 unadjusted drivability and such an impossibly rich tune that this 2600-lbs car only gets 14.5 mpg-US. The instabin, however, comes from breaking two rules: the car trim and engine variant years donât match, and the car rides on semi-slicks. That last one is forgivable because I failed to clarify that semi-slicks are a racing part, but nobody else made this error so Iâm counting it.)
Bowmann R530t - @FidleDo
Keith: One I was considering, though, is this Bowmann car. As you can see, though⌠Same scandal. Bowmann were actually the only real, proper carmaker to get caught up in this. Whatâs more, itâs got terrible economy.
Amanda: Huh. Jenâs mum drives a Bowmann estate of some sort. Either way, itâs no big loss - thereâs probably two dozen other coupes youâd probably like.
Keith: Actually, Iâve got just the one. Lemme just find the pageâŚ
(Another race parts bin: This carâs got Turbo Race Headers. âRaceâ is literally in the name. I guess it just goes to show that you can never write out a rule clearly enough. As stated in-character, the Bowmann also falls victim to a turbo engine with a poor tune; somebody should really make a tutorial for those.)
Corvidae Supercell P600 - @3000Miles
As soon as Amanda sees the car in the magazine, she reaches for her iPhone in a bit of a panic.
Keith: Something the matter, love?
Amanda: Oh, not much. Just another life-threatening bug.
Amanda gestures to her phone, which is showing a Guardian article on the Supercellâs teething issues.
Keith: The Guardian? Please donât tell me youâre listening to any of their whingingâŚ
Amanda: This is serious, Keith! None of their stability controls work! The MOT is investigating them for fatally glitchy ABS systems!
Keith: Oh. Well, nevermind then. Guess theyâre right this time 'round.
(If there was ever an obviously malicious minmax, this is it. A -8 quality on Driver Assists, which shaves a whopping AM$4100 off the vehicleâs cost. Without the negative quality here, it would have been AM$3500 over the limit. No wonder I thought it was too good to be true when I received it⌠Yoooouuuuâre fiiiiiirrrrrred!)
Itâs been a while now, any updates?
Soon. Friday or weekend, probably. Substantial judging done
ROUND 1 - PARANOID (Threshold and Rank Eliminations)
4th of September, 2012
7:58 PM
Keith Phillipsâ Residence
Amanda: Sooo⌠Itâs been a while since weâve talked about your new car plans. When are you actually going to make a choice? All youâve been doing after work is watching the telly!
Keith turns around in his chair and quirks an eyebrow as the TV speakers boom out Jessica, heralding a Sixth Gear episode
Keith: What are you on about, love? I am making a choice!
Amanda: Oh, dear God. Iâll get the popcorn ready.
AMS Shrike GT 5.0 - @abg7
The show begins with the lead presenter - a bloke known as Carlson - testing a gaudy, blue sports coupe. After an initial round of praise for the carâs responsive engine and overall sporting merits, the showman begins to pan the carâs lack of taste.
Carlson: Youâve probably noticed the glaring problem with the Shrike by now - after all, youâve been looking at me thrashing it round our track for a while now. What are those proportions? Itâs stubby, like one of those poor pug creatures, and itâs got no arse. The wheels and arches donât help, either - theyâre so huge that it looks like the aforementioned pug has got Arnold Schwarzeneggerâs pectorals for legs! Anyway, expect to see one in your resident footballistâs driveway any day now.
Amanda: Iâm not sure ifâŚ
Keith: You said it. Iâm not sure if I want to be spotted within 200 feet of that thing.
(The car is very strong in stats and pretty good value for money, but I couldnât bring myself to assign even close to a positive score in the looks department. Just looks wrong, honestly. For that, itâs out.)
Swanson 300 12 337TSCX- @Ludvig
Following the conclusion of the opening review segment and the customary studio banter that follows, the presenters move on to car news for the week. Maynard and Hamlin, the showâs resident gentleman weirdo and hothead racer respectively, lead the segment off.
Maynard: Right, the news. The Swanson 300 continues into Model Year 2013 unchanged.
Hamlin: So it still looks like a ball? Good to know. I was afraid Iâd start liking it.
Keith: They read my mind sometimes.
Amanda: Hey, I donât think itâs that bad!
Keith: Says you. I donât want my feel-good car to look anything like a Celica, thank you very much.
(The engineering part of this car is really good - better, in fact, than the Shrike. Built atop a 2-door sedan body, though, this one looks even less convincing as a sports car - I mean, it almost looks front-drive. A shame, too, as the red accents did give off a nice and sporty vibe at first glance.)
Tartesso Choete - @Edsel
Carlson: There is an alternative, though - here we have a Spanish sports car. Hardtop convertible, ten cylinders⌠But half as many gears.
Hamlin: You do start to wonder, whatâs the point of a smart double-clutch gearbox when it has less ratios than your typical manual? Matter of fact, I donât think Iâve ever heard of a single DSG that doesnât have a sixth gear.
Amanda: âŚBa-dum-tss!
Keith busts out laughing
(Another weird car. While Iâve had the characters focus on the lack of gear ratios, the real dealbreaker was the poor handling. At least in this case, the poorness comes courtesy of some potentially murderous oversteer. THRESHOLD BIN - LOW HANDLING)
Vaughn Silverbird L-Type- @Knugcab
Hamlin: Ooh, now hereâs something exciting. The Vaughn Silverbird-
Carlson: Oh, Lord.
Hamlin: âŚNow has a twin-turbocharged version called the L-Type. Pretty much supercar performance, for a fraction of the price! And it actually handles, too.
Carlson: No, no it doesnât. I will give you that it has a decent grip limit, but the suspension is still pretty obviously floppy. Iâve seen better come out of American leaf springs.
(Sorry, friend. But youâve fallen into the same easily-avoidable hole as everybody else whoâs made a car thatâs way too cheap: I didnât put a best-value clause into the brief and that was intentional. The chassis is more than salvageable and a higher purchase cost could have been justified by a track pack and a luxury interior trim, or something. Shoulda done that and gotten way more points.)
Zephorus Focoso- @Riley
*Maynard: More exotic news: the Zephorus Focoso now has a renewed interior spec with what seems like the most advanced satnav on the market.
Carlson: Yes, but itâs still a nigh decade-old car made of thinned Corvette shavings, nothing is going to make that interior comfortable. Couldnât even put a Sixthâ.
Hamlin: Shut up, I made that joke first! Either way, that basically concludes the news for this week.
Amanda: I have to say, the Focoso looks absolutely gorgeous.
Keith: Well youâve heard them: it doesnât drive gorgeous.
(This car is the second-most beautiful in this competition, the best still being Ldubâs instabin. The problem is, it has a couple of holes one can pick in the design - again, including a horrendous gear gap. which doesnât allow for quite as good acceleration compared to the fiercest of its rivals. In addition, it has a lot of weight optimization on top of an already fiberglass body, leading to much compromised comfort. As such, it does not progress.)
Schnell LX50 GT - @interior
Keith and Amanda take a break from their informal analysis as the show gets to its main event: A cheap-car challenge for used Arlingtons. Hamlin actually wins for once, with his mid-trim 1987 Foxhound beating out Maynardâs practical but boring Airacruiser and Carlsonâs quick but thoroughly battered and flagging Antares SRX. This main segment is also broken up by an unremarkable Well-Priced Car interview. Maynard then conducts a road test of a new Schnell supercar - which doesnât go all too well, with the ponderous presenter complaining of unacceptable fuel economy and bad road feel. Back in the studio, it faces one final test.
Carlson: All thatâs left for the LX50 is to see if it at least does well on a nice, dry test track - which means handing it off to our resident racer. Rumors abound that when he punches people, they donât make a huge scene out of it that results in millions of pounds in losses - and that he has a third eye on his left buttock. But to us, heâs a total Enigma.
The Schnell at first looks like it will set a brisk lap, taking rather well to the Petrolhead turn - before the Enigma loses it in the fast Drive-through corner and bins it arse-first into a tire wall.
Maynard: Hold on, that wasnât supposed to happen. Whenâs the last time the Enigmaâs binned a car?
Carlson: God, itâs been years. I think he did it with that one Swedish hypercar or what not. Oh, no⌠Anyway!
Amanda: You didnât like that one, did you?
Keith: Let me check⌠Nope. No no no no no.
(Yeah, this one was never really going to pass muster. The richest fuel mixture here - with a 79-octane tune, mind you - the worst oversteer, and 250-section rear tires. The TRX has been dead for 25 years when this challenge is set!)
Apache Trillk GT - @xianxian2
After the debacle with the Enigma, the show returns to the studio.
Carlson: Tonightâs show is all about sports and supercars like the AMS - or, hopefully, better than it. However, our deal with the insurance company fell through after, uh, that, so weâre just going to have to use yet another gimmick wall that we totally wonât kill off by next week. And with that, say hello to the Super Wall!
The crowd of Subaru owners cheers mindlessly.
Maynard: Quite. Now, the way this works is: each of us puts forward some supercars, and we decide on whether theyâre mundane or monstrous. For example, this Apache coupe is monstrous.
Hamlin: Eh!?
Maynard: You shut up, Hamlin. This has got a twin-turbo V8 engine, magnesium wheels, and a top speed well in excess of 200 miler per. Itâs monstrous.
Carlson: Thatâs stupid. Iâll give you that itâs fast, but what this really is is a regular Trillk with the back seat removed and no speed limiter. Itâs still got its comfort-oriented active body control, and a cushy, heavy interior. Give me that.
Carlson snatches the Trillk photo from Maynardâs grip and slaps it into the mundane section.
Keith: You know what, I rather like that. Big car, lots of comfort, still outruns most things on the road.
Amanda: Honestly, Iâm surprised it can do 200. Looks like a couch to me.
(This car is a strange case. In most areas itâs simply a better Shrike - and while it does cost more, this is not a value-first competition. Like the Shrike and the Swanson, the carâs weakest point is the looks - basing a 216-mph 2-seater on the 2-door sedan Tezda body just doesnât work. Itâs a good effort and would have benefited greatly from Keithâs multipliers if it ever got to the test drive stage.)
ATLAS Aura N4 - @KILO
Carlson: And itâs the same deal with the super version of the ATLAS Aura. Big turbo-V6 power, no restrictions. but itâs still a fettled-up sedan platform. They didnât even remove the rear seats from this one.
Maynard: Iâm actually with you on this one. My problem with the Aura is that for all the upgrades it comes with, the tires are hopeless. They limit the carâs acceleration, and it spins round whenever you approach the limit.
Carlson: Which is something you surely have plenty of experience with, General Glacier. Weâre in agreement, then: Aura N4, hopelessly mundane.
Keith: Iâve looked at the N4 on my own, actually. All that money to get entry-level Tyrellis? Yeah, right.
(The Aura is a fun idea - I do love me a liftback - but not only is it far too large and GT-ish for the challenge with 116 inches of wheelbase and 5 full seats, but it also stumbles at critical engineering hurdles with its high-speed oversteer and harsh turbo lag. In addition, far too many resources are spent on weight optimization and balance. For all of those reasons, itâs out.)
Durendal SC44 A - @GassTiresandOil
Hamlin: Hereâs a seriously monstrous car, though. The SC44.
Maynard: Youâve got to be joking. You of all people should understand the problem with that car. It looks American, itâs priced⌠Well, on the higher end of American cars, but it accelerates like a pig.
Carlson: Iâm with Maynard on this one. Muscle cars arenât serious sports cars anyway, but this canât even be called a muscle car - Itâs got this puny little 4.4-liter engine with just 330 horsepower and no torque. The one good thing about American muscle are the massive V8 motors they have, and the Durendal leaves that out, too. Instead it has an all-wheel-drive system nobody could possibly make use of. I think it shouldnât even be on the wall.
Carlson tosses the SC44âs picture over his shoulder, hitting an Evo owner in the head. Keith and Amanda withhold any comments.
(One of several price and performance bracket misses in this challenge. Over AM$25,000 left unused and a vehicle that would have trouble overtaking a museum piece. Also, this isnât the only car in the comp to have this issue, but the gear power gaps are horrendous and I might start smiting people for that in future challenges. THRESHOLD BIN - LOW HANDLING)
FST Peregrine VE - @Lanson
Hamlin: Fair enough, but hereâs something properly rabid. The Peregrine Velocity Edition. V10, standard stick shift, meanest face this side of Hell. You canât deny this oneâs a banger.
Maynard: Thatâs more like it. You can take the top off, as well, though I wouldnât recommend i. I tried it once and ended up looking like a wet dog by the end of it.
Hamlin: Yeah, mate, thatâs just how you look. Either way, unless youâve got any objections, the Peregrine is going into the monstrous column.
Keith: Now that there looks like some serious kit. Iâve read theyâre seriously fast, too.
Amanda: Looks a bit too serious to me.
(A stellar car this time around. The choice of a detachable hardtop indicates some serious knowledge and confidence - some would have been to afraid of a bin - and the sportiness is through the roof.)
Mara Paragon 4.0 SK42 - @AndiD
Hamlin: Now, we do want to get some audience participation going. Is there a current production car any of you blokes would describe as monstrous?
An audience member is heard screaming âThe Mara SK42!â; Carlson immediately barges through the crowd towards the hapless man
Carlson: Who said that!? I havenât heard hogwash like that in years. You mean to tell me that a 300-horsepower dishwasher capsule is your pick for the most monstrous car of all?
AM: Itâs well-balanced, fast and reasonable priced.
Carlson: Well, maybe we should put Stallone in one and send him round our track, then. Honestly, I donât know why we bother with audience participation.
Amanda and Keith have a hearty laugh at the old budget sports car and its lone proponent. The tension over Keithâs decision is mostly forgotten as the two kick back and enjoy the ride.
(Like the Durendal, a clear mismatch. The Mara costs AM$39,900 - less than half the budget - and has accordingly mediocre stats and performance. That it didnât run headfirst into any of the stats thresholds - unlike the aforementioned Durendal - is a miracle in and of itself.)
Novalina M300 Carbon Sport - @mart1n2005
Maynard: Honestly, I quite like the Novalina M300. And thereâs really no question about it being vicious or not, because I almost busted my spine test-driving it three weeks ago.
Hamlin: Yes! The M300, especially the Carbon Sport, is a track-car masterpiece. a real champion of simplifying and adding lightness.
Carlson: I canât argue with that, although thatâs mostly because I can just barely fit in one.
Keith: And that settles that. None of them can stand how it rides, so thereâs no way I could cope with it.
(I can really emphasize with the philosophy behind the Novalina, but in a competition with comfort as a 3-star priority, itâs downright unwise to build a car with comfort in the twenties. THRESHOLD BIN - LOW COMFORT)
Octane Helix Spyder - @karhgath
Carlson: See, as a bigger man I think six cylinders just arenât enough. Twelve is more like it - which is why the Helix V12 is still my favorite car of the year. The Spyder is downright splendid, too: because itâs a space frame design that doesnât need as much reinforcement, they managed to keep the weight down. And thatâs despite the all-wheel-drive.
Hamlin: Actually, thatâs my problem. Itâs not really all that visceral, is it? Canât fling the back out as much in an all-wheel-drive. And that trunk will fit a golf bag, too.
Carlson: Right then, Iâll do you a deal. Weâll put it in the middle.
As Carlson slaps the Helix picture onto the mundane/monstrous divider line, Keith leans in to get a better look. The Helix is sounding mighty good.
(Perhaps the most well-rounded car of them all, but also the only one with the guts to use a V12 engine. High marks all around propel it into the finals comfortably.)
Riemann LSGT RTA - @ChemaTheMexican
Maynard: Aha! I see your V12 and I raise you a V8 thatâs bigger than it. Riemann LSGT, 600 horsepower, most powerful V8 ever put on the assembly line. Active aero, racing body control, light as a feather.
Hamlin: Monstrous. Definitely monstrous. Iâd argue the Peregrine is still crazier, but this is up there.
Carlson: Tell you what, Iâll be honest. I really want one. Riemann doesnât make good things like that every decade.
Amanda: It looks funny.
Keith lets out a soft chuckle.
(This is actually the sportiest car in the entire competition, and Iâm here for it. And I know youâre trying to not ape Mercedes, but this thing would have looked much more flattering in a richer color than silver.)
The show ends shortly after.
Carlson: âŚAnd on that bombshell, weâre done for this week. Thank you and goodnight!
Sitting contentedly ad somewhat groggily on the couch, with Amanda half-asleep on Keithâs shoulder, the pair slowly come to their senses.
Amanda: That was honestly pretty enjoyable. Whatâd that have to do with your choice, though?
Keith: Well, the Riemann, FST and Octane all looked good to me. Three cars are a low enough amount that I could pull some strings and get proper, untethered test drives. You know, so I could bring you along and not the sales rep.
Amanda: Huh. Sometimes it scares me how you blokes can make a decision based off a limited set of random trivia.
Keith: Oi, whereâs my thank you?
On that note of subdued banter, the two call it a day. Keithâs next order of business is to arrange the test drives of the three finalist cars on the next weekend.
Congrats to the finalists!
@ChemaTheMexican
@karhgath
@Lanson
All advance to the test drive round, which should be out soon without the â˘.
Any news?
THE FINALS - IRON MAN (Threshold and Rank Eliminations)
6th of September, 2012
11:33 AM
Octane dealership, suburb east of Southampton
The Sunday test-drive blitz that the Phillps coupe had been arranging is upon them. While there are only three cars Keith is still considering, the nerves associated with driving expensive cars he doesnât yet own have all but guaranteed that the day will be a slog. Excitement and anxiety at the max, Amanda and Keith set foot inside the Octane dealership in the hopes of looking at, and perhaps driving, the Helix Spyder sports car.
Octane Helix Spyder - @karhgath
After a brief chat with personnel - pre-softened up by some strings Keith pulled in the two days prior - the keys are handed over, and the two are directed to a parking lot where the coveted Helix is parked⌠in a bush. Seems like the employees have their fun, too⌠Keith takes his time inspecting the V12 under the hood, much to Amandaâs eyerolls.
Keith: Certainly looks like a proper piece of kit. All gorgeous-lookinâ, too.
Amanda: I donât think Iâll ever get you⌠The carâs stunning, but here you are looking at heads and pipes for five minutes.
Eventually, they set off, and Keith levels the car to a relaxed 30 miles per on the empty road.
Amanda: You know, itâs strange. I canât really hear it.
Keith: Youâre right, you know. The topâs open, but cruising like this in sixth? You could just about whisper and Iâd still hear you. No rattles, no squeaks, and no bumps. Must be that clever suspension at work.
With a short straight followed by some gentle turns ahead, Keith tries flooring it - and is forced to stop after just about 2 seconds, as the twin-clutch box leaps down to second and takes the car to 75 in a blink of an eye. The awakened engine emits a melodic V12 symphony for a while before ultimately subsiding to a cruising gear upshift. Keith follows up by taking the corners without so much as touching the brake pedal, stopping only after he feels Amandaâs withering stare right on his temple.
Keith: Oh, yeah! Sorry, love, but I had to do that. What a car!
Amanda: Just⌠Give me a heads up next time. Almost had a bloody heart attack there.
Upon returning to the dealership and cooling off, the pair thank the staff and get back into their Archprince. Keith gives his thoughts:
Keith: Yâknow, not once during that episode did I feel out of touch. That Helix just takes care of business, even if Iâm being a knob.
Amanda: Youâre not wrong - and itâs plenty plush, as well. I just hope that doesnât put you off. I mean it, though: donât just punch it willy-nilly.
FST Peregrine - @Lanson
Next stop: FST. The dealership is located off a motorway with a bridge, and Keith knows exactly where heâs taking the Peregrine. After the handover and an under-hood inspection, Keith states his initial impression.
Keith: See, you might not see the value in looking under the bonnet, but thereâs a bunch of interesting clues in here. Thereâs only two throttles under here; that Helix had twelve.
Amanda: And what, pray tell, does that mean?
Keith: This oneâs more brutal than it is exquisite. Matter of fact, Iâm going to warn you straight up: I will be driving in anger this whole time.
As Keith leans down into the Peregrine and moves to start unlatching the roof, Amanda catches his hand.
Amanda: Alright. But if youâre going to drive like an absolute baboon, the roof stays on. Maybe itâll save us when you flip the sodding thing over.
Keith: Oh, fine.
The fears of a rollover quickly end up being immaterial: As Keith guns it atop the bridge, dodging the occasional commuter, he finds that there is no body roll. All there is is the savage shifter, the road ahead, and the vague feeling of something missingâŚ
Keith: Come on, then! I can do this all day!
As the pair turn around after the bridge ends and start back to the FST dealership, the opposite becomes apparent. Keithâs aggression tapers off, but the stern stare, controlled breath and sweat on his face remain.
Amanda: âŚAre you alright, love?
Keith: ⌠âŚYeah. But itâs bloody exhausting, it is. Youâd probably noticed, the suspension has no give. Iâm knackered. âŚSorry, by the way.
Amanda: Oh, no, that was fun. Both the ride and the look on your face when you passed that gray Astra Diesel.
Keith: Yeah, today wouldâve been one hell of a lot worse with the rozzers in it But that wasnât the worst of it: That engine just feels off. Way too peaky for the gearbox, and you just know that they couldâve pushed it further if not for the faffing about with the luxo-VTEC. Itâs a no-compromise car with compromises, and I donât get it.
Two cars down, the pair return the FST and head to the Riemann dealer in town. Riemann is a big name, enough so to eat Octane and FST for breakfast - but can a premium mass-market manufacturer really produce a sports car with the Peregrineâs savagery, or the Helixâs confidence?
Riemann LSGT RTA - @ChemaTheMexican
The Archprince, with Amanda at the wheel, arrives at the parking lot of the huge Riemann dealership. As the pair walk through the front door, one of the greeters takes note of Keithâs condition - and, after a split-second glance at the coffee maker in the display hall, retreats into the break room. Just as Keith starts with his test drive request, the employee returns with a can of Beast.
Keith: Heh. Now thatâs what I call âserviceâ.
Amanda: I still want my cappuccino.
Caffeine and paperwork taken care of, Amanda and Keith walk out to the LSGT they came here for. A refreshed Keith immediately goes for the hood latch; Amanda actually chuckles this time, amused at her husbandâs persistence.
Amanda: Oh. Thatâs⌠Pretty massive, actually.
Keith: Yeah. This car might have the least cylinders, but itâs got the most displacement out of them all - and power, too.
Amanda: This LSGT doesnât look quite as chiseled as the other two, thoughâŚ
Keith: Hey now, Iâm not chiseled either and youâre fine with me.
Amanda: Oh, bugger off.
Keith starts the Riemann and drives it, in a rather relaxed manner, through the town and towards a nearby motorway. Heâs somewhat relieved to not be in charge of a third pedal this time around - though he does feel like he misses it somewhat.
Keith: Thereâs a bit of alright, there. Gobs of power, everywhere. Pretty much what you liked in the Archprince, matter of fact.
Amanda: Are you saying the other two didnât feel like that? Theyâre both five liters, too.
Keith: Yeah, but this oneâs rather more predictable and straightforward. No variable lift on this one; If youâd have just come and looked under the bonnet with me, youâd have known that. Heads are pretty tiny compared to the other two.
The pair have a fun, yet by now predictable thrash round the motorway. On the way back, Keith looks contemplative - the Riemann has made a much more solid showing than heâd even thought it would, and would even appear to be something of a middle ground between the other two - engaging and rear-drive, but not outright bonkers. And where he would have normally been dismissive of the jack of all trades, itâs also the quickest of the lot and noticeably so.
8:12 PM
Keithâs Residence
The pair are back where they started: on the couch, each with a cup of tea. There is much to think about with the three cars they had experienced mere hours ago. However, it seems to the both of them that there is an odd one out.
Keith: I still canât get over the way they geared that FST. Whenever I shifted up, itâd felt like I was moving in slow-motion for a solid half-second. And, I mean, I loved the fact that it was me shifting it, but⌠if the 'box itself is shite, I donât particularly care how it was geared.
Amanda: I know I said Iâd liked the ride back then, but I think my back is worse off for it now that weâre home. The Peregrine was definitely less⌠street-ready than the others. Itâs a shame, too - I though it looked well.
THE FST PEREGRINE BY @Lanson WINS BRONZE.
Keith: The other two are a doozy, though. I hadnât talked much when I was driving the Riemann, but thatâs because I was busy driving it and figuring out that it was just⌠excellent. Taut but not rock-solid, the quickest but also very confident. Itâs real good. Then again, the Octaneâs got that majestic ragtop, and you wonât find a V12 just anywhere.**
Amanda: And letâs not forget, the Helix rode best. And it didnât have that ear-splitting cold start. I know you might appreciate that, but Iâd wager that it would get us permanently disinvited from Maggieâs.
Keith: Yeah, itâs none too kind to the bloke next door. You know what, I think that 4 thousand more pounds for 4 more cylinders is a fair trade. Iâm going with the Octane.
Amanda: You sure? I liked it best too⌠I might steal it like I did the last one.
Keith: Hah! How scary. Maybe now Iâll get to drive the Archprince once in a while.
Laughter, sappiness, tenderness and so on. You know how cliche my writing is by now. The very next day, Keith would revisit the Octane lot and place an order for his new, magnificent V12 supercar. Life would continue, the kids would grow, and Keith would get his wish of aging with style. And with occasional tire smoke, too, because âESC OFFâ is the button that gives life, and not even 4 wheels can handle that V12.
THE RIEMANN LSGT RTA BY @ChemaTheMexican WINS SILVER.
THE OCTANE HELIX SPYDER BY @karhgath WINS GOLD.
Hostâs note: I truly apologize for the delay. This semester has hit me a fair bit harder than I had hoped, and Iâm just starting to level out; and while I know that some would say âdonât host then, idiotâ I think this has been a good learning experience for me, and itâs not like I screwed up too bad. I will post the scoreboard in the coming days once I do clean it up properly.
There was a very small difference in scores between the winning Octane Helix Spyder and the runner-up Riemann LSGT RTA. In fact, the Riemann was perhaps a few stat points or a single âgreen flagâ from winning on the spreadsheet. I had actually sort of rooted for the LSGT against the Helix, mostly because @karhgath has been on a roll lately and his Helix was the overcat from the very beginning. But it is objectively the best car: While the slowest of the finalists, it effectively used all of the budget and tech allowance to totally outstrip them in comfort and prestige, all the while being a full auto-roof convertible. Congratulations to our victor, and good luck to him or whoever the JOC2A hosting responsibility passes to. Iâm off to make CW5 a reality and maybe to catch up on TOR.
I thought you did a great job. So, the Peregrine was too stiff and oddly geared? I chalk that up to optimizing for the Nurburgring in Beam. Iâm not really ever going to learn my lesson in that way. They still have to perform in Beam before they get sent out. JIC the host decides to.
A fitting triumph as well - and a fitting conclusion to this first JOC.
Yes. For the one starting JOC 2, remember to make a new thread for it, thanks!
FYI I forgot to state it here - I will start the next journey, probably post the brief this week. I was waiting for the new update to settle down and everything.
I am still assessing the impact of the Tech Pool now being available on JOC.
I will most likely start with the default Tech Pool from the new patch and the next hosts could see later if they want to do some changes. I think this is best until this (big) change fully settles in the challenge community.
I plan to have a brief this weekend.
Does that mean setting all tech pool values (for model, trim, and engine family/variant) to 0?
Default would be +5 to everything. When you create a new car in sandbox now, this it the default value now. People reusing a car would need to update, but anyone creating a new car would have nothing to do.
I do need to finish reviewing Price and ET requirements before setting that in stone, as they are heavily influence by this.