I hire a team of scientists to invent a device to make me look like anyone I choose. I disguise myself as Jakgoe, and walk to the top of the hill. Wizzy, the real Jakgoe, and all the weaponry become confused.
Using the element of surprise, I push Jakgoe and Wizzy off the hill and shut down all the weapons. My team of scientists then haul away the weapons, and destroy them with nuclear tomfoolery.
I am now the king!
I return to my home planet and build a giant laser. I then use said laser to blow up the sun. All the planets but Pluto are consumed in the supernova. Sadly, all Llamas were still on earth 
, so now I’m SUPREME EMPEROR OF PLUTO!!!(sorry Absurdist)
So how’s your planethood working out for you Kubby?
Using the gravitational pull of the newly discovered planet “Kubboz”, I aim an asteroid at Pluto and destroy KingJanic.
I then rebuild Earth, civilization, and most importantly, the hill.
I am now king of the hill.
Some strange alien lifeforms have developed on planet Kubboz, and they aim a large weapon of some sort at the hill, and destroy everything in its path (except the hill, which has been destroyed too many times and deserves some sympathy). Luckily, I was inside watching the Eurovision Song Contest, and I emerge from my home after hearing this ‘terrible’ news. I stroll to the top of the hill, and claim it mine. And I haven’t set up any special weapons or gave myself powers or anything.
I’m the legit king of the hill!
I wake up with a splitting headache on the planet Kubboz. I use my awesome powers to suck the life out of all the living things, other than myself, on the planet, and gain 4 black mana, With said mana, I cast a spell:
I then build a ship and fly to earth and take my place as rightful KING OF THE HILL!!!
I show the police the “real” deed to the hill, and politely ask them to evict KingJanic.
I am now the king (and owner) of the hill.
[quote=“Jakgoe”]I show the police the “real” deed to the hill, and politely ask them to evict KingJanic.
I am now the king (and owner) of the hill.[/quote]
I Threatening Jackgoe with destryong his tuning company… I extort away the hill from him
Using my secret mod powers, I ban Manche for horrible grammar and spelling.
I go to the top of the hill to give Jakgoe an award for being the only person I know with their name spelled ‘Jak’ instead of ‘Jack’. As a celebration for him getting an award, I hand him a congratulatory drink. It had laxative in it. You know the rest 
.
And after the events following that ‘celebration’, I’m king…
I start up my trusty Hilux and drive out of the grave KingJanic made me.
While surfacing, I crushed Pleb to death, who, once free from the wheels fell into the hole I came out from.
I then open the tailgate to drop all the dirt I dragged with me back in the hole and promptly get back inside my Hilux.
I am king of the Hilux on top of the hill.
The Angel of Death resurrects me because I caused too much trouble in Hell after dying. After signing a contract to never again return to Hell, I gain immortality yet again and return to the pile of earth I tried to destroy. I set up a tailgating party at the base of the hill using steaks contaminated with Mad Cow and feed one to saleen00b. Being a demonic strain concocted during my time in Hell, it kills him within minutes and I take the hill and his trusty Hilux. I am Queen of the Hill once again! 
I ask Killrob to go into the game code, and make immortality impossible. I then kill 07CobaltGirl, and take my spot as king of the hill.
I ask Killrob to upgrade my calculator, and it transforms into the Mega Hyper Evolved Calculating Code Breaker 9001, that i use to delete Jakgoe from the game, I’m the Super Emperor of the Hill 
I become Conchita Wurst and fire my hundreds of beauty products at EnryGT5 at high speed, which kills him.
I put some more makeup on and become Kueen of the Hill and Eurovision.
I disguise myself as Sweden and give Conchita 0 points, and give my 12 points to Finland. Conchita chases after me and demand that I give her points. I throw a razor at her and quickly hide out at the top of the hill before she knows what on earth’s going on.
I am King of the Hill! (With assistance from Sweden)
While Enry is dead, I steal his calculator and hack into the game and give myself and 07CobabltGirl Immortality, and we pick up Australia and drop it on the hill, killing Pleb. We then put Australia back and rule together!
I give KingJanic and 07CobaltGirl the keys to a penthouse suite in a local hotel so that they can go and kiss each others asses away from the sight of the public, and the hill.
I then declare myself king of the hill while Janic and his newly found love go and rule together in the hotel room.
The plan designed by pleb backfires horribly. What pleb failed to realize is I have no interest in kissing or companionship. KingJanic, being a sensible Plutonian, understands this and respects the fact we can rule together on the hill in a strictly platonic fashion. Hence, we never left the hill to go kiss in a motel room, and he never claimed the hill. For his efforts, pleb is then fed to a Mako Shark and meets his utterly horrible demise.
KingJanic and 07CobaltGirl rule the hill unfettered!
Two people can’t rule at the same time! Because of that you are being removed from the hill and are going to be decapitated in front of the entire Automation public.
I say this because I was the one who discovered this and therefore I am almighty dictator of the hill. Attempt to remove my throne and I will press the red button, I mean it.
I pack a Seishido Proxima RE full of explosives, then i ram Cheeseman’s throne at 140mph, killing me and everything in a 50m radius, including 07CobaltGirl and KingJanic, who were just going to be executed, Quad Kill! The random Japanese metal pieces rule the hill 