I remind Enry that Mario physics do not apply to Automation. He looks dejected. While Enry mopes, I claim the hill as my own!
I take a Seishido emblem and place it on the hill, MY HILL! 
Oh no you don’t.
I stab the pole straight through Enry.
I hereby declare this hill mine and declare myself absolutist monarch of the hill. The hill is reinforced with six-foot thick titanium walls and a blastproof ceiling.
Looks like there is a revolution in your small empire.
The hill becomes a republic and i’m the first president of the Hill republic.
To overthrow the president, you need exactly half of the congressmen to vote him out. All in favor? Raises hand All opposed? Hermann raises hand. Okay then, the president is overthrown. I am now the king!
I just filibuster for hours and become king of the hill by delaying the vote.
[size=150]***Compendium on the Capture of the Hill:***[/size]
29th November, 10:31:36: Jack Cossack, member of Moderator Squad notices he’s not the king of the hill
29th November, 10:31:42: Squad car code F3L1C14 C0M81 arrives at the hill
29th November, 10:31:50: Investigation made by Moderator Jack Cossack reveals rileybanks to be the current president of the hill
29th November, 10:32:05: Moderator Jack Cossack pretends to be a mostly harmless troll to slip past security
29th November, 10:32:22: The suspect is struck with an enormous hammer and is knocked off the hill
29th November, 10:32:34: Moderator Jack Cossack is now the king of the hill.
[size=150]End of Compendium on the Capture of the Hill[/size]
[size=150]Extension of Compendium on the Capture of the Hill[/size]
29th November, 12:29: rileybanks notices he is no longer king of the hill.
29th November, 12:30: rileybanks says to Moderator Jack Cossack, “There’s a massive V12 down the bottom of the will that fits in the* F3L1C14 C0M81* perfectly.”
29th November. 12:32: Whilst Moderator Jack Cossack is running down the hill, I claim ownership of the hill. I am now King of The Hill.
[size=150]End of Extension of Compendium on the Capture of the Hill[/size]
“Hey Rileybanks! There’s a shiny new LaFerrari at the bottom of the hill!”
As he runs to look at it, I claim the hill.
And by the way, the Ferrari was a phony, a big fat phony.
I get in the phoney Ferrari and knock Jakgoe off the hill. I’m now King of the Hill.
Absolutism is restored as all revolutionaries are captured and guillotined.
King of the hill again, filthy peasants.
I challenge you to a jousting duel. I win. I’m king of the Hill.
I receive an RPG and I obliterate you.
King of the hill.
Oh, wait. I obliterated the Hill.
I build a new hill out of all the Pontiac Azteks and Fiat Multiplas, and nobody wants to climb it.
KING OF THE HILL.
I take the built-in picnic table out of the back of the Aztek and beat you unconscious with it. I burn all the shitty cars, and rebuild the original hill. I am king!
I tell Jakgoe, “You’ve been escorted to the United Nations of the Royal King and Queen of AntarctiScandinaviEurope.” He looks at me with a confused face, then I drop a Ferrari 458 disguised as a Fiat Multipla on his head while he was distracted. I remove the Fiat sheet metal and do donuts as the new king of the hill.
Ferraris come from a nation were fascism once ruled the country. I believe it should be reestablished. Sounds good enough? Good, now move! My hill
The people don’t like fascism. COMMUNIST REVOLUTION!!!
The people don’t like communism either, so they protest until Riley surrenders to decadent capitalism. The people’s hill!
I work my way up the political ranks and turn the hill into an empire. 12ft titanium walls with armed guards. All revolutionaries are executed. Your move.
I drop a nuke on it. I build a hill on top of the old hill. I place a flag that says “t(o-ot)” I a the king of the hill.