Oh, okay. I walk up to Kev, knock him unconscious, and claim the hill as mine.
I wake up, and distract you by showing this link :
youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
In the meantime, I throw concrete on your legs, and once it’s dry, leave you rolling down the hill.
Isn’t this Hill gonna stay mine ? 
Kev has been King of the hill for too long. I tell him that the new version of the game is out, and the test track is useable. While he runs off to update his game, I claim the hill.
WHile Kev was King, I was actually digging a hole under his throne to make him fall in and get burried. As Jakgoe takes a seat, he falls in the hole and I throw dirt ontop. after that, I put a new throne made of pistons and other engineparts and sit on the hill. Mine.
I offer Wizzy this automotive themed table to go with his throne. He gladly trades it for the hill. Sorry for my photoshop skills (or lack thereof)
I blow Jakgoe off the hill with the sheer poison of the hydrocarbons coming from the exhaust of my cat-less small block 427 Mustang. I am king. With just enough gas to get to the top. Maybe enough to run the AC for a minute or two.
gt1cooper forgot the handbrake, and rolls right of the hill. Unclaimed territory? Mine.
Excited about the upcoming beta (can I has plz plz plz ermagherd jk jk lelz) I accidentally lash out on Wizzy INA an attempt to get rid of some energy. I kill him and claim the hill again.
i return from the death by sucking out your soul and hand it out to the devil. im back alive and claiming the throne.
After informing the Pope of your actions, I get the Catholic Church to force you off the hill. Now I am king of the hill.
I invite some Jehovah’s Witnesses so everybody run in terror. Well, i think the hill is mine
-Would like to hear…
-No!
After training several monkeys to carry a human being, I order them to remove Kubastach from the hill. I am now King of the Hill.
I buy many bananas.
I repeatedly throw them at SamSheepDog, resulting in his precious monkeys to unintentionally ram him down the hill while trying to get the bananas.
The hill is now mine.
I go to russia and accidentally launch rocket on hill
so…
i’m the king of that what left.
I come a marching band. They play until the guy on top of the hill can’t stand it anymore and runs away. The marching band goes of and i’m the new king of the hill.
Haven’t you heard 80’s comedian Yakov Smirnoff? Everything in Russia is opposite, so technically, hill launch rocket on you.
Now I am king of the hill.
Opposite Russia, Hill sits ontop of you! So I get up and dont use Russian logic and I’m King of the Hill 
My mind decides to blow beside Wizzy, throwing him in the middle of the pacific ocean.
My bits and pieces are the kings of the hill.
I get a janitor to sweep up the remains of salen00b. He is then cremated.
I am now king of the hill.
I send a mime to box up Jakgoe and ship him to Timbuktu…
I reclaim my crown and my hill.