Luna_on_venus' Cars and Other Automation-related thingys

[luna_on_venus]

Hello!

I’ve been following this game for a while now (Discovered through WhyBeAre back in 2015) and have been playing on my own for a few years now. Watching people like TwinTurBros and Consider also helped me improve my cars to the point where I felt it worthy to make a forum account to post my stuff here.

I’m also a semi-funny (not) writer so I like to give my cars descriptions very akin to the way Rockstar writes descriptions for their overpriced GTA Online cars or the way Jeremy Clarkson described cars on Top Gear.

[luna_on_venus]

1989 Gotha Brise HX – “The Sensible Choice.”

Are you disillusioned with all the BMWs and Mercedes speeding up and down the Autobahn right on your tail? Do you have an allergy for anything that mildly deviates from the dictionary definition of “sensible” or “logical”? Then the Gotha Brise is the practical sleeper hatchback for you. Under the unassuming hood is a very modest 2.2L 5 cylinder engine producing a very sensible 163HP. It’s got just a little pep, but weighing in at just 1200kg, it’s much easier on the petrol than that 5 Series that just blew by you at 180km/h. Twice the distance for half the price!

[abg7]

163bhp is more than what most hot hatches had in 1989 - the Brise’s trump card of an extra cylinder, plus an additional door on each side (although a 3-door variant would also be nice) is icing on the cake.

[luna_on_venus]

And some more of the Gotha Brise.

1990 Gotha Brise GTi – “Golfs are for Conformists.”

Picture this. It’s 1990, you’re a dashing 21 year old German. The Berlin Wall has fallen, your family whom you’ve been seperated from by concrete and iron for four decades is finally able to get a taste of real German motoring, a refreshing break from the humdrum Trabant 601s and Barkas B1000s. Introducing the Brise GTi. It’s like a Golf GTi, only with 2 more doors and 1 more cylinder. The 2.2L 5 cylinder has been tuned to produce 185HP whilst still being fuel efficient enough to drive from what was East Berlin to Brandenburg and barely see the fuel needle tick down to the third bar. While the interior isn’t exactly “in-your-face” sporty, that’s not what matters. What matters is the subtleties, you have a tape deck for all your U2, FEX and Nena casettes, foglights, sporty alloys, red trim and the all important GTi 16V badge on the tailgate. This is the pinnacle of youngster’s motoring.

There’s nothing classy in being loud, and the Brise GTi is that perfect blend between being sensible and being daring.

1990 Gotha Brise RTi – “The GTi is for Cowards.”

So you think the “defanged sensibleness” of the Brise GTi is an affront to the archetypal hot hatch, to you it’s not a hot hatch – it’s merely a “lukewarm” Brise HX in fancy dressup. Just for you, the Brise RTi is a GTi built for those with a death wish and a need for a machine worthy of getting your money’s worth on the Autobahn. You do not buy an RTi for the practicality of a Brise, you buy an RTi for the bragging rights that you own an RTi.

The 2.2L 5 cylinder is back, only this time with fuel injection to all five cylinders and a fat turbo strapped to it, pushing a healthy 265HP that can definitely keep up with even Porsches on the straights, whilst maintaining the nimbleness of a GTi. Hiding underneath the veneer of that shiny turbocharged engine (complete with red valve covers) lies another one of the RTi’s secret weapons: Unlike it’s siblings, the RTi gets its power delivered to all four corners. In the hands of a German, it’s basically a miniature Porsche 959 for a fraction of the price, and in the hands of a Finn or a Swede, it’s basically halfway to being a Group A rally car. And of course, potent power needs matching potent looks.

The RTi comes with sporty fender flares, a front fascia reminiscent of a Group B rally car, different lights, a big hood scoop, a big spoiler and of course bright red paint with matching red leather interior trim, along with a little boost gauge just off to the side of the instrument cluster that told your passengers that you were daring without saying anything at all. What more could you want out of a truly red-hot hatch?

The RTi also came as a 3-door hatchback, although only about 9,000 were produced.

[Hshan]

Looks good! Although that RTi is more powerful than ANY Audi at that time

[luna_on_venus]

1970 AvtoKAZ 1200 – “By the Party, for the People.”

The KAZ 1200, commonly nicknamed “Cигарета” (“Cigarette”) for the smoke that came out of the exhaust pipe or “Мало” (“Little”) for both it’s small but spacious size, small 1.2L engine, and the fact that when it launched in the summer of 1970, the waiting list for one near instantaneously grew to upwards of seven and a half years. The 1200 is the epitome of the phrase “people’s car” – a car built by the people, for the people – or at least that’s what they were led to believe. It’s the bare minimum of what qualifies as a people’s car. Inside is very sparse, everywhere that could be cost-cut was cost-cut, so no listening to All-Union for you on the AM/FM stereo, which doesn’t exist in this car. As the name 1200 implies, it came with a standard carburated 1.2L 4 cylinder engine coughing out 57HP paired to a mildly sticky 4 speed manual gearbox. 0-100km/h came in an agonising 25.4 seconds, but you’d likely never be able to go that fast on the streets of Moscow without a not-so friendly chat with the Militsiya, as their 1300s could easily keep up with you.

1971 AvtoKAZ 1500 Special – “By the People, for the Party.”

Whilst the proletariat were able to get their hands on a 1200 or even a 1300 if they knew the right people in the Politburo, the 1500 Special was only avaliable in either export markets or to Party officials (albeit not a very high-ranking Party official) and the Secret Police. Equipped with an uprated 1.5L twin-carburated 4 cylinder pushing out 70HP with the 4 speed manual, it also came with a variety of obvious details that signaled that while under communism; Everybody’s equal, those with a 1500 are simply more equal than everyone else. With your 1500, you get two foglamps, a passenger side mirror, nicer hubcaps, a chrome exhaust and muffler, chrome grille detailing, a glovebox with a light in it and most coveted of all: an AM/FM radio. Interestingly enough, the 1500 Special was also the only trim where black was an optional colour.

[luna_on_venus]

1979 Narcotici 290 GTS Fallimento Speciale – “Smoke and Mirrors.”

Here’s a question: What’s your favourite flavour of white powder? Salt? Sugar? Something a little less legal and/or sweet? For many wise guys fitted with concrete slippers as punishment for getting caught with bricks of white powder, often the last thing they see before being sent to sleep with the fishes was a Narcotici 290 GTS. Despite Narcotici’s notorious reputation having the most unionised factories in Calabria in the 1970s, build quality issues like panel gaps and the laughable excuse for rust-proofing, and reliability problems like engine fires that actually weren’t a product of foul play, the 290 was the flagship of stylish Italian motoring in the late 1970s and early 1980s. I mean, most of the press photos were taken with airplanes and along the Sicilian coast, even though a fair number of 290 GTSs would only ever see the streets of New York City or soak up sun on a Miami beach. Equipped with a naturally aspirated 2.9L V8 pushing just an olive over 264HP, paired to an only ocassionally troublesome 5 speed manual gearbox, there’s definitely the speed to match the style of the lovely dame sitting in the passenger seat.

The inside does make up for the build quality, as you get your choice of either black or tan leather upholstery, a premium cassette tape deck, four auxillary gauges and just as many ash trays; two for you and your dame’s Lucky Strikes, and another just for your prized Cuban cigars, and one more for holding little dime-sized plastic baggies of your favourite white powder. Every Italian man has his priorities, and Narcotici has you all figured out.

[luna_on_venus]

1984 Onichan Seijo GXL – “The Blander the Better.”

There really is nothing quite as bland, dull, uninspired and conformist than the Seijo. It’s name literally translate as “Normal” in Japanese. Equipped with a perfectly fine 1.8L 4 cylinder pushing about 86HP paired to either a 4 or 5 speed gearbox, it does exactly what it needs to do – nothing more and nothing less – quite literally, this is the dictionary definition of the word “car”. Inside is an ocean of grey plastic, grey cloth seats. The styling was done by a six year old, given the estate car-esque angle of the C pillar. On a street this would not stand out in the slightest, in a video game this is the low-poly car that you barely catch a glimpse of as you speed by in something much more interesting than this.

1985 Onichan Seijo #19 Group B Rally Car – “Never a Dull Moment.”

What happens if you give a team of maniac Europeans and a blank cheque a Seijo and a V6? What you get is a Group B fighter. While it’s no Delta, 037 or even a 205 T16 for that matter, it’s still a highly capable machine on the dirt and mud. The 1.8L 4 cylinder has given way to a 4.2L turbocharged V6 pushing just over 501HP to all four wheels, everything inside that isn’t strictly necessary has been taken out to save weight, and everything that is necessary was also taken out to save weight, and in its stead a rollcage and two bucket seats have taken their place. Along with it are the cosmetic changes: wider box fenders, a front lip with a license to kill, and a rally wing so large it’s borderline comical. The #19 car sponsored primarily by Kargay was the only Seijo to ever see dirt, and for all its looks, had an overall unremarkable career as a rally car – save for a handful of wins in 1985 and 1986 – before being retired to a museum somewhere in Oulu. How befitting.

[Hshan]

@luna_on_venus

4.2L turbocharged

Unfortunately that would impose a minimum weight of 1300 kg in Group B. The original 1.8 capacity would be more typical for a forced induction Group B engine… while the power is pretty much on point for the period

[luna_on_venus]

The Seijo Group B does fall into the 1300kg range (1317kg if my memory is correct)

[luna_on_venus]

1977 Centurion International Royale Edition – "Gucci Gang."

Remember when petrol was literally free? Yeah, that was about a decade or so ago, and since the Middle Eastern men who made all the oil decided they didn’t want to give it away for free anymore after 1973, Japanese and European competitors have flooded the palette of the American consumer. But where these foreign cars fail is where the good old American car prevails: Luxury.

The Centurion International is the pinnacle of American motoring meets European luxury. Under the hood sits a 7.3L or 445CUI pushrod V8 producing 201HP, paired to a 4-on-the-floor automatic gearbox. The interior spares no expense, being upholstered in the finest Portuguese leather, the very same used in those fast Italian Narcoticis, although it does have a tendency to turn green from time to time in the sweltering California summers. Inside you’ll also find the best AM/FM radios made by the Japanese and the best American plastic money can buy.

The outside likewise is built to tell onlookers how you are a cut above the rest, you are a true patriot by buying the finest American cars on the market today, you understand that you need a car big enough to fit your flared bell bottom jeans and thick handlebar mustache with an afro or mullet to match. It’s only you that understands that luxury means having enough chrome glued on to blind other motorists, luxury means having a proud upright waterfall grille with an even prouder hood ornament proclaiming your American-ness, luxury means having a proud spare wheel hump on the rear trunk, luxury means having a vinyl roof with an opera window. You need a car that can snub the foreign competition in the only way an American knows how: Luxury.

1977 Centurion International Executive Edition – “The Collector’s Folly.”

Back in 1977, Centurion offered a range of “special” editions for the International, a set of cars every self-respecting rich American had to have a complete collection of, that would appreciate faster than Beanie Babies or Pokémon cards a few decades later. While touted in brochures and dealership tours as already luxurious landbarges enhanced and beautifed by the finest Italian and American fashionistas, jewellers and watchmakers, with such luxurious and ostentatious words like “Limited”, “Brougham”, “Executive” and “Presidential”, they were underneath regular Internationals dressed up with some fancy badges and interior decor.

Same engine, same bodies, only a new lick of paint. Today a “Collector’s Set” International in excellent to dealer condition can be had for about the same price as a second-hand but still pretty modern car.

[luna_on_venus]

1969-1970 Centurion Matador 385 – “America’s on top of the World!”

In the land before time, when petrol was still thirty-five cents a gallon, the American auto industry was thriving. Of course there were always going to be small roadblocks like the counterculture or that scourge Ralph Nader, but for now in 1969, things are great. The Matador is the perfect embodiment of that, the base model is saddled with a beefy 385CUI or 6.3L pushrod V8 making just a smidge over 340HP, paired to a sharp 3 speed manual gearbox, it gets a nice round 8 miles to the gallon. But not to worry, if petrol stays at thirty five cents a gallon, surely buying a car that you can watch the fuel gauge needle go down on isn’t a concern… right?

1970 Centurion Matador 457 GT – “Ten gallons per customer? Nonsense.”

If you thought the 385’s 8 MPG was a record, the much, much beefier 457CUI or 7.5L V8 making 430HP gets 6.5 MPG. But again, having to refill your 25 gallon fuel tank every hundred miles or so is worth it when you have the bragging rights of owning the much fancier 457 GT, you get a black lip, black spoiler and black vinyl roof, alongside a big hood scoop and matching black stripes. If you can’t make double digit fuel economy, that doesn’t matter since you got a car that goes like hell, looks a million dollars and is the most patriotic thing on the road since the Sherman tank. From here on out, the 1970s looks like it’s going to be a bright decade for the all-American purebred muscle car.

[Aruna]

Extremely rad

[luna_on_venus]

1980-1987 Centurion Matador 2.2 – “What two energy crises does to a mf.”

So by 1979, oil was no longer at three dollars and fifteen cents a barrel – rats. The oil crisis of 1973 hit Centurion hard, and the Matador name was discontinued that same year in response, and for the next seven years there was no powerhouse on wheels to flex the company’s muscle.

But with the introduction of the new AA platform introduced across Centurion’s lineup of half-hearted attempts at competitive cars that would stand up to foreign imports for the 1980 model year, the beloved Matador nameplate made so famous in the 1960s was resurrected… for a somewhat mediocre and poorly built “economy sports” coupe. Powered by a 2.2L carburated 4 cylinder engine producing 88HP with a 4 speed manual gearbox, 0-60 came in an asthmatic 13.2 seconds.

Inside was a sea of plastic and cheap cloth, but on the bright side, dual cup holders and a Motorola AM/FM stereo did come as standard, even on the base model starting in 1982. So even though you had no rev counter, a manual choke and enough plastic bits that cracked and crumbled to dust to exterminate the entire Atlantic Ocean, the sticker price for a Matador 2.2 did come in a few hundred dollars cheaper than foreign competitors like Toyota and BMW, so every cloud and all that. And you even still get to proudly proclaim that you are a patriot, you bought a Centurion Matador, just like the one your dad drove some twenty-odd years ago. You proudly drive an American automobile… that has a lobotomised Japanese engine under the hood that’s just wearing a Centurion badge on the valve covers.

1981 Centurion Matador 2.2 SST – “A Fall from Grace.”

It seemed that just ten years ago, nothing could stop the Centurion Matador. Bigger, thirstier V8s were all you could get across the model range, who cared that it got single-digit fuel economy? Petrol was basically cheaper than water back then! But now, in 1981, times have changed; petrol is now basically worth its weight in gold, and the Matador is a mere shadow of its former self. The top of the line “sporty” SST trim is an attempt to capitalise on the nostalgia for the legendary 457 GT of the late 1960s, only instead of a 7.5L big block V8, you get a fuel-injected 2.2L 4 cylinder pushing about 102HP paired to either a 3-speed automatic or 4-speed manual gearbox. Along with that, you get a few motifs that harken back to the “good old days” such as the black sports striping, sporty alloy wheels and fully-equipped interior finished in red plastic and red cloth to match the sporty red paintjob that proudly proclaims your fuel-efficient but supposedly sporty successor to the muscle cars of a time now lost.

The 1980 Matador 2.2 is actually a complete overhauling of the original 1979 Matador 2.2, which was the first car I built on the Al-Rilma open beta. By my current standards, it’s not paritcularly good looking, hence why in my current bout of addiction to the Malaise Era, I felt it deserved a complete overhaul. You can see the before and after in the very compressed gif below. (The original file was 10x the file upload limit for the forums)

[Hshan]

No matter the SST is slow and probably overall horrible (as befits a malaise “sports” compact), it definitely looks cool! Almost as if it had a turbo…

[luna_on_venus]

1974 Blackwood Corinthian Custom – “The Liberacemobile.”

An interior made with the keenest eye for detail for ergonomics in the factories of London, the softest leather hand-stitched in the workshops of Florence, the so-so build quality of Kalamazoo. The Corinthian is old-world luxuries flavoured with the American air for making cars the size of a small country, a callback to the good-old days of the 1950’s in its styling motifs like bullet-shaped tailights and rear fender skirt, and 1930’s motifs like the landau bar and (fake) spare tire hump, both paired to the modern 1970’s stately styling of the front – it’s a relationship that, like many celebrity relationships in the 1970’s, isn’t the happiest but Blackwood made it work.

Under the runway-sized hood sits a proud 425CUI or 6.9L pushrod V8 engine making just over 156HP, and with its grandpa-catering 4 speed automatic, 0-60 comes in just about 14 seconds. So it’s not fast, and you need half the county to do a 3 point turn, but at least you’ll be doing it in plush, water bed-esque comfort. The interior’s big enough to fit your bell-bottom Levi’s, spangly jacket and handlebar mustache with room to spare and comes standard with all the fancy tech gadgets of the 1970’s, granted one downside of the Corinthian is that it only gets 15 miles to the gallon. But then again, the members of this “exclusive” motoring society can afford the astronomical petrol prices that come with an oil crisis.

[luna_on_venus]

1975 Blackwood L-Series L500 – “The American Screwdriver.”

Construction company backbone, plumber’s noble steed, bank robber’s ticket to freedom, creepy van at the edge of a forest with “Free Candy” spray painted on the side. Whatever the application, the Blackwood L-Series has been the trustworthy utility van that suits every need – illegal and immoral or not – for nearly forty years. No radio, no air conditioning, no rev-counter, no automatic transmission, the bare minimum of chrome, the L500 is the van-equivalent of a screwdriver; basic and work-first minded. Equipped with a 5.0L V8 making just shy of 180HP, paired to either a 3 or 4 speed manual, it’s more than enough to haul around whatever your heart desires, so long as what your heart desires weighs less than or exactly 4,700lbs.

Can be configured with up to 2 sliding doors, 3 axle configurations, 6 side windows, 10 interior panel options and 35 axle ratios.

1976 Blackwood L-Series Streethawk – “Sleazemobile.”

So you got some time off work, hooray! Back when you were a pot-smoking, war-hating vibes-radiating hippie in the flower-power 1960’s, you had a European minibus painted to look like a garden. Ten years on, now you want something to re-live those carefree days. Introducing the Streethawk, the grown-up answer to the hippie van. The L500 from work customised to your heart’s desires.

Choose from more than 20 equally 70’s paintjobs, 3 different bumper combos, 10 different magnesium wheels and of course, if you want a supercharger strapped to your 5.0L engine making 240HP on a good day. And unlike the barebones L500, the Streethawk is fully decked out inside with a selection of migraine-inducing interior upholstry, AM/FM stereo cassette and a sporty steering wheel.

This Streethawk in particular has been kitted out as a bedroom/minibar setup with a double bed stuffed in the back as part of a built-in featuring a functional sink, a drinks fridge and a portable TV set, along with a suspiciously positioned captain’s chair, all encased in acres and acres of orange checkerboard patterning and black deep shag carpeting. Outside you’ll find magnesium wheels, dual side-exit exhaust pipes, a blacked-out hood with a scoop, fake semi-truck horns on the roof over the sun visor, porthole windows on both sides, along with the usual sunroof, bullbar, spoiler, chromed up everything and wickedly kitsch 70’s striping.

It’s sleaze-on-wheels, it’s the kind of van women pose topless with for some reason, it’s the type of van where you probably don’t want to touch the shag carpeting, it’s the 1970’s and everything that made it so tacky incarnate.

[luna_on_venus]

1986 Tamna Chollima RS4 – “The Koreans make sports cars?”

When I say Korea, what do you think of? Kimchi? K-pop? Kim Il Sung? Well whatever it is, it probably wasn’t a 4WD 2-door coupe with stylish pop-ups, rallying pedigree and an attitude problem. Named for the mythical winged horse, the Chollima RS4 is the triangle-shaped box of violent turbo lag standing atop Mt. Baekdu, it’s 2.7L turbocharged V6 engine producing a peppy 244HP paired with a smooth 5 speed manual gearbox. This is the car the male main character drove on every Korean TV drama – romantic or not, same car that one would share their first kiss in is the very same one you use to escape from North Korean agents sent to kill you – produced or set in the 1990s, the inside isn’t much different from Tamna’s more pedestrian offerings, but does still offer all the equipment produced by the other chaebols like an AM/FM radio with a cassette player, air conditioning and optional electric windows.

The exterior was designed primarily with a 2B pencil and one of those triangular ruler things, maximising how much pork you could cook in the sun from the rear hatch and the how tall your rear wedge spoiler is, alongside boasting a number of scoops of dubious usefulness; two on the B pillars and one on the hood, finished off with stylish alloy rims, quad exhausts (only two of them are functional – one on each side) and foglights as standard.

So to answer that question you didn’t ask: Yes, the Koreans do make sports cars, and the Japanese might have to start sweating.

1988 Centurion Matador GXi – “As American as Apple Pie!”

In the same way Panda Express is “authentic” Chinese food, the Matador GXi for 1988 is an “authentic” all-American sports car, the 1960’s are back!.. except they aren’t. This was the last breath the Matador name would get, being a lazy rebadge of the Tamna Chollima from South Korea imported into the United States and given a slightly updated version of the SST’s 2.2L fuel-injected but naturally aspirated 4 cylinder producing a hair over 138HP paired to the Tamna-made 5 speed manual – hardly a candle to the swift and fun Chollima the Koreans were being treated to, though the Matador did still sport the quad exhausts, but again only two of them were real.

Along with the import came some more localisations, mainly the removal of the hood scoop, new wheels and a more Americanised interior with slightly better carpeting. One last farewell to a nameplate going out not with a bang, but a naturally-aspirated whimper.

[Aruna]

This wing is so large I think it could take off! Great build all together, I really like the styling!

[abg7]

An excellent use of the new '75 Orion body set introduced in Al-Rilma - its legacy predecessor had fewer options (in terms of wheelbase and body variants), so you took full advantage of what the Orion provided you with!