An old issue of Driving Trend magazine; the 1983 ‘Car of the Year’ issue. In 1983, that award went to the Ardent Chancellor II, with it’s 4.8 liter V-8. This reminded Kevin of Homecoming 1987, and the two times he almost lost his virginity.
Kevin was just a sophomore, so he didn’t see a lot of playing time during the '87 season; but in the homecoming game, he threw a block that would spring his teammate for the game winning touchdown. They sure sent those Middleton snobs crying back to their cul-de-sac homes.
After the game, Becky VanDecker invited the whole team, cheer squad, and even the flag corps back to her folks’ lake house up north. Becky was only so-so looking, but she was incredibly popular, because she always threw the best parties. Becky then asked Kevin if he’d drive her in her mom’s car, because she didn’t like driving at night. Kevin knew better. He only had his learner’s permit; but nobody says no to Becky VanDecker, and he didn’t want to look like a spazz, so he said “sure.”
Kevin hopped into the driver’s seat of the premium wagon. The inside looked like it was decked out; almost every option Kevin had ever heard of. When he put the key in the ignition, rather than the familiar dinging or buzzing from most cars, there was a voice, saying “the door is open”. Kevin shut his door, buckled his safety belt, and started the ignition. Kevin got on the highway, no sweat. This car practically drove itself.
The whole way there, Kevin felt Becky’s eyes on him; but he was too nervous driving without a license to do anything about it. To break the tension, Becky asked, “do you like Fleetwood Mac?” Kevin answered with some trepidation, “…uh, sure.” Truth is, he did like Fleetwood Mac, but he wasn’t sure about driving with the radio on; after all, he had only logged a few hours driving with his mom, and she never let him have the radio on, while driving. Becky popped in an 8 track of ‘Tango in the Night’. The sound coming from the premium sound system, was amazing.
When Kevin and Becky arrived, the party was already in full swing. There were kids with beer and cigarettes. There were kids that seemed to be going to the bathroom, together. Kevin knew he’d catch all sorts of hell, if his folks found out he was there. It had been a long drive, and Kevin really had to use the bathroom, alone. He excused himself, and wandered the house, looking for the spare bathroom.
He wandered into the master suite, where Mrs. VanDecker was relaxing, with a glass of wine. Upon seeing her, Kevin knew that Becky must’ve gotten her looks from her father, because Mrs. VanDecker was hot, and so classy, he thought; she was drinking wine, not beer. “Excuse me”, Kevin apologized, “I was looking for the bathroom.” “No worries kid. Go ahead. Use the master bath.” She responded.
While he was relieving himself, in the magnificently appointed master bath toilet, Kevin wondered how it was that the VanDeckers could afford two houses, and an Ardent Chancellor, yet were slumming it in Northwood, rather than living it up in Middleton. He finished, washed up, and went back out to thank Mrs. VanDecker; except she was crying. Kevin asked why she was crying. Apparently, Mr. VanDecker had been embezzling money from his employer, and upon being discovered, left his family; this party was going to be her and Becky’s last hurrah, before the bank foreclosed on the place.
Kevin spent the rest of the party, comforting Mrs. VanDecker. On the car ride home, Kevin once again felt Becky’s eyes upon him. This time, instead of an uneasy sexual tension, they felt like burning anger. Stevie Nicks’s voice, no matter what volume, couldn’t drown out the deafening silence. Kevin knew then, he had missed his chance to go into the bathroom with Becky VanDecker.
Six months later, Mrs. VanDecker called, looking for Kevin’s father. She wanted to get her car tuned up, but she could’t afford to take it to the dealer. Kevin explained that his dad was out on a job, and wouldn’t be back until after 6, but that he often helped his dad, and was pretty handy with the wrench himself.
Kevin rode his bike down the mobile home where Mrs. VanDecker and Becky were now staying. Mrs. VanDecker, every bit as hot as Kevin remembered, opened the hood, and went back inside as Kevin took off his shirt, and laid out his tools.
Kevin was not prepared for what he saw next. Though he’s seen it a thousand times since, this was the first time Kevin had laid eyes on a transversely mounted V8. How was he going to do this? All the hoses and belts were up against the wheel well. Kevin saw the four wires leading to the four plugs in the front, but the four wires seemed to disappear between the engine and the firewall. Kevin started to panic.
At six o’clock, he had stalled enough, he had to call his dad. He asked to borrow the telephone, as Mrs. VanDecker was pouring herself another glass of wine. Kevin’s dad showed up a half hour later, and as he looked at the engine, he slapped Kevin on the back and chuckled. “Got yourself in, over your head, didn’t you champ. Is she worth it?” Kevin laughed nervously.
Mrs. VanDecker came out to check up on her car. “How’s it going boys?” she asked, nursing another glass of wine. Kevin looked at his dad, and watched the smile disappear from his face, and then his dad looked back at him with disapproval. Kevin knew he was demoted to flashlight duty.
I’m loving it!