Thanks! It’s a fine line between complete lunacy and semi-realism here… Sometimes it goes completely haywire, sometimes something cool may be created. Until it blows up
[size=200]**1982. **[/size]
[size=150]LEADED FUEL IS BANNED !!![/size]
Sherman is back in hospital. He simply could not cope with the news when leaded fuel went outlaw.
Police caught him when he was out hoarding the last tanks of premium 98, and he’s now back in his “hippie jacket”.
Meanwhile, his friends at Patriot continue working. They know the fight is still not over. They will survive. And they
will build a car that is going to CURE Sherman.
The new car has to run on 91-octane. NOOOOOOOOOO!!! But it must be done. And the car needs to be cheaper and
easier to build than the Renegade. Money from Sherman’s dad is running out and the old man is in no shape to rob any
more banks due to his age. The next car will have to make sense financially.
Mike comes up with the idea of a strong but simple spaceframe chassis that requires no special tools to fabricate.
Carl sets out to build a smaller, lighter aluminum body. It will have fewer angled panels to make building easier.
When our friends visit Sherman at the hospital, he can only utter out: “GNNN…HHRRRR… BIGGG BLOCKKKK !!!”
So then our heroes come up with a cunning plan. They will use a 427 L88 alloy-head engine to reduce weight. They
will fit electronic fuel injection to cope with the low quality fuel. And they will convert the TH400 3-speed automatic
to manual shift for added sportiness. Ball bearing center sections are used in the turbos. So the plans are laid, and for
the 1982 model year the next PATRIOT automobile is ready for battle:
The fight goes on. One night in the hospital Sherman Bravado has a vision. A supercar with wings. And an eagle screams, and covers him with its wings…
It’s named after a missile.
Sold.
In a world where government pinko liberal douchebags outlaw the nectar of the petrol gods, a force rises to battle the injustice. Be part of the resistance as Patriot Motor Force unleashes hell and fire and HELLFIRE upon the prematurely celebrating axis of evil. Girls will swoon, Rodders will thumbs up, Patriots will approve as you cruise down the streets raining your unchallengable wrath upon the uninitiated with the 1982 HELLFIRE. Feel the power as you shift gears manually in an automatic. It’s as if you’re shaking hands with God himself, but he’s wearing boxing gloves. Take control of this electronically controlled beast of the future, and show that electronics will conquer the planet, as soon as they develop independent thought. The heaven is gone, but the pits of hell have come up with a solution - the 1982 HELLFIRE… FIRE… AT WILL.
[/commercial]
@DeusExMackia - Yeah we believe we’re gonna need actual missiles to fight the eco mob very soon…I mean unleaded fuel! What next? Safety belts?? 4-cylinder engines??? We have to stay strong, dear brother.
@Awildgermanappears - We have indeed heard that in “Europea” dark, arcane magic is being used, perhaps even engines that are not V8s! But 'Murica is strong. We will prevail. Or we will die trying!
@Squidhead - Oh the awe of the most beautiful ad speak we have ever yet heard. May your path be blessed with boost pressure. May your future be full of exhaust fumes and tire smoke. Truly we say: you are our brother in arms!
As an American company starting with the humble 4 cylinder (Don’t mock, it will not last long), I know this dark magic you speak of. Fortunately, I’m exiting the 50’s and 60’s soon enough, and then I’ll have a reason to make a jump to something that doesn’t sound like a billion ants farting at once.
Still, I’m impressed. V8 isn’t a weak engine, and while leaded fuels are powerful (I’m not used to using them myself, plus, my first cars kinda have to be a little underpowered for my company to get the kick it needs to try something new), unleaded gets to be kinda strong later on.
Loving this deal, man-over the top descriptions, over the top cars-nothing says 'Murica more than tire burning V-8 muscle cars!
Seriously, though, not only do I really like your designs, the satire is a nice & funny touch, too-keep up the great work!
[quote=“Madrias”]As an American company starting with the humble 4 cylinder (Don’t mock, it will not last long), I know this dark magic you speak of. Fortunately, I’m exiting the 50’s and 60’s soon enough, and then I’ll have a reason to make a jump to something that doesn’t sound like a billion ants farting at once.
Still, I’m impressed. V8 isn’t a weak engine, and while leaded fuels are powerful (I’m not used to using them myself, plus, my first cars kinda have to be a little underpowered for my company to get the kick it needs to try something new), unleaded gets to be kinda strong later on.[/quote]
Thank you sir! We may be crazy but at least we are true to the 'Murican muscle car tradition. Your efforts are equally important however. Without real car industry we couldn’t exist. Without normal cars we would have nowhere to look for when we need parts and components. And for us to stay crazy, someone has to stay rational. Good luck with your design and development!
[quote=“AlternateSteve90”]Loving this deal, man-over the top descriptions, over the top cars-nothing says 'Murica more than tire burning V-8 muscle cars!
Seriously, though, not only do I really like your designs, the satire is a nice & funny touch, too-keep up the great work! [/quote]
Thanks mate! Feels good to get positive feedback on the design too, even if there is a lot of Bravado to steal attention…
Nice to hear also that the stories and headlines are working I know not everyone will find it funny but it’s fun and relaxing for me as I usually tend to burden myself with realism.
Thanks for all feedback yet again guys!
Hopefully soon we will see if Sherman’s Supercar/Eagle wings vision will become true. If it does, it still won’t be a supercar as Patriot calls that an evolutionary musclecar.
Oh, believe me, right now the semi-sensible designs are being done as kinda a lead-in for my company and the I4 is the reason we almost went under. However, I’m about to introduce the savior of the company in the form of a 4 liter V8.
As for insanity, in previous runs (I restarted my lineup and decided it’s time to do a car thread with the new Open Beta), I had plenty of things with 4 digit horsepower numbers, as well as some basic cars to keep the company alive.
So seeing a company jumping both-feet-in-the-deep-end and making awesome in the middle of the 70’s and 80’s, it’s cool. I’m playing semi-sensible up until I can go crazy (I need turbos to do my thing…) and then I’m gonna make some crazy happen.
I’m actually enjoying seeing your take on the 70’s with extra insanity.
[quote=“Madrias”]Oh, believe me, right now the semi-sensible designs are being done as kinda a lead-in for my company and the I4 is the reason we almost went under. However, I’m about to introduce the savior of the company in the form of a 4 liter V8.
As for insanity, in previous runs (I restarted my lineup and decided it’s time to do a car thread with the new Open Beta), I had plenty of things with 4 digit horsepower numbers, as well as some basic cars to keep the company alive.
So seeing a company jumping both-feet-in-the-deep-end and making awesome in the middle of the 70’s and 80’s, it’s cool. I’m playing semi-sensible up until I can go crazy (I need turbos to do my thing…) and then I’m gonna make some crazy happen.
I’m actually enjoying seeing your take on the 70’s with extra insanity.[/quote]
Nice to hear you like this crazyness bro Looking forward to seeing more of your designs soon!
Still waiting for a car called the Eagle.
Waits Patiently
Or The KaKAW! yeah, That works too.
[quote=“Vri404”]Still waiting for a car called the Eagle.
Waits Patiently
Or The KaKAW! yeah, That works too.[/quote]
I can tell you this much: the car from Sherman’s vision is already on the drawing board, but there are “complications”.
Patriot is reaching higher (where the eagles dare you see) and it takes time especially as the early development was done in…erm…solitary environment
I definitely like the insanity approach. One of my first cars was a luxury sedan from 1940 which produced 409 horsepower. That’s after choking down the 571 V12 in an attempt to control wheelspin (It didn’t work, the Ventnor Premium is the ultimate tire shredding luxury sedan of yesteryear.)
Your approach has inspired me to take the same approach with one of my late '70s muscle cars. The end result is an overpowered brute with impressive sales figures.
[size=200]1989.[/size]
[size=150]THE EVOLUTIONARY MUSCLE CAR IS UNLEASHED.[/size]
In late 1983 Sherman Bravado gets out of the hospital. You might think time was wasted while he was lying in bed heavily sedated. Or when he was sitting alone in the
corner of the courtyard holding a piece of straw and mubling incomprehensible things. But you would be wrong.
You see, a true PATRIOT is not that easily broken. Sherman’s body might have been tied down with a straight jacket. But his mind was flying free. Free like an EAGLE…
Sherman had made a multitude of exciting drawings on his cell wall. He had a plan. The evil forces of democrats and green lobbyists would finally be annihilated. Inspired by many night-time visions, our hero set out to design a hybrid supercar / muscle car. It would be called the “evolutionary muscle car” and it would fly way above all competition.
Meanwhile, Mike and Carl had also been busy. The HELLFIRE had been a real success. The little bean counting our heroes did on the design had paid off. The simple spaceframe chassis and the use of the reasonably common L88 427 engines, the Hellfire was surprisingly cheap to manufacture. While it was the most expensive American car on the market, it didn’t cost even a third of what the fastest exotic, the Lamborghini Countach did. Which it could easily beat in straight line performance. And to everyone’s amazement, the Hellfire was actually quite capable in the corners too. Sophisticated it was not, but the shortcomings of the archaic suspension were offset by the ultra wide tires and very stiff spring rates. (And the “Roadkill Deflectors” that in fact created real down force.)
When our brothers brought Sherman home in a brand new Patriot Hellfire, he was positively impressed with the car however unleaded it may have been. And even more impressed by the bank sheet he was presented with.
However, Sherman’s eagle vision still proved too ambitious to realise at this point. The advanced mid-engine layout and whole heap of racing-grade components were still out of reach for our Patriots even with the surprise success of the Hellfire. But then in 1984 Sherman met a fellow Texan at a car show. Wishing to stay unanimous, we will simply call him “Remington”. A true hot rodder and handgun aficionado, friendship bewteen Sherman and him was quickly formed. But most importantly, he was an actual, real-life oil billionaire! And he loved the idea of a fighting eagle, proudly made in the USA to wreak havoc in the midst of all the European “supercars” that had started their American invasion. Thus the “Black Eagle” project would begin, funded by this gun-crazy oil man…
The BLACK EAGLE. It would have to be really fast. And really special. It would require all of our heroes’ expertise and then some. The brothers started studying race car technology in earnest. Looking at Indy Cars, they concluded the Eagle had to be mid engined. Looking at the Winston Cup cars, they saw how much potential the classic steel spaceframe chassis construction still had. Carl the turbo maniac then had an unorthodox idea: EFFICIENCY. He had seen how race cars achieved stupendous performance not simply by making the biggest possible horsepower, but optimizing power together with weight and aerodynamics. He got a black eye when he first showed his plans (which included a SMALL BLOCK engine!!!) to Sherman. But once the Eagle Prototype 3 would completely beat on the drag strip Sherman’s 454 CI big block build using a custom aluminum Chevy small block engine, things changed.
From now on, even Sherman would agree that not only pure horsepower mattered. What mattered was PERFORMANCE. However it may be achieved.
The Eagle would have a special 414 CID Dart small block with 100% billet aluminum construction. It would even have a MANUAL transmission! This came to be after our Patriots saw how far a certain mr. Callaway was able to push a modified Doug Nash Corvette 4-speed (to 254 MPH in case you’re interested). The BLACK EAGLE would be the first product of Patriot Motor Force that had optimized performance through light weight and high end aerodynamics. And it would do 223+ MPH in street trim.
Even with oil money, the Black Eagle would take a very long time to develop. And even more time for the whole “Accursed EPA Damned Federalization Joke $hit” process, forcing among other things a 3-way catalytic converter and 95-octane unleaded fuel. Finally, in late 1989 the car was ready for launch. And what a car it was. It would absolutely blow the doors off of such icons as the Porsche 959 and Ferrari F40. It would even out-accelerate the later 1992 McLaren F1 up to 201 MPH. Even before the Eagle received a power upgrade in 1993… Patriots were celebrating. Sherman’s vision of an all-conquering dark eagle had come true.
[size=135]
The Black Eagle was even available in other colours, such as Lava Red. For a very steep premium of course.[/size]
I approve of this use for the 80s wedge Awesome design and specs. Seems like it could be a Vector.
Holy Mother of Cars O.O
The 1989 Black Eagle. Experience the technical revolution that is ALUMINUM and POP UP HEADLIGHTS! The streamlined ballistic performance of the new creation by Patriot Motor Force. Get behind the wheel of a Black Eagle and show those pansies from Europe that Europe is not a real country with an understanding of what fast really is! But be warned, the Eagle is not just a car, it demands a true skill to be operated, just like true skill a fighter pilot has to possess - the ability to operate a manual transmission and read from a digital display. Make a statement as you drive along a highway to success, demonstrating your superiority, your lightning reactions, your balls of pure DIGITAL SPACEFRAME ALUMINUM and a sexy facial hair women will fight for, and one Chuck Norris will cry for.
The 1989 Black Eagle : Fly like an eagle, sting like a nuclear bomb!
Thanks man! Glad you like it. Yeah the Vector thing, it’s no secret I’m a fan of mr. Wiegert’s work however unsuccesful the cars were.
Thanks for the comment! I hope the 'Eagle is crazy enough for you
[quote=“squidhead”]The 1989 Black Eagle. Experience the technical revolution that is ALUMINUM and POP UP HEADLIGHTS! The streamlined ballistic performance of the new creation by Patriot Motor Force. Get behind the wheel of a Black Eagle and show those pansies from Europe that Europe is not a real country with an understanding of what fast really is! But be warned, the Eagle is not just a car, it demands a true skill to be operated, just like true skill a fighter pilot has to possess - the ability to operate a manual transmission and read from a digital display. Make a statement as you drive along a highway to success, demonstrating your superiority, your lightning reactions, your balls of pure DIGITAL SPACEFRAME ALUMINUM and a sexy facial hair women will fight for, and one Chuck Norris will cry for.
The 1989 Black Eagle : Fly like an eagle, sting like a nuclear bomb![/quote]
Hot damn! Bring on the patriot lotion!! Seriously, why can’t our own marketing team come up with poetry like that even when we point our .44s at them? Thank you sir for another awesome commercial! We will put it on the air immediately once we find a sound sample of an A-bomb going off to go with it.
Warning: Vehicle may induce feelings of inferiority, hopelessness, inadequacy and/or sexual arousal in people who possess another kind of car.