2005 MARA KAVALER Mk3 4.6 AMM
Hello. It is 2005 calling. We are at the moment recording a discount rap video. Here is our A8. We bought it at the same place as we got the gucci bags for the bitches, as we can call them since it is still the good old days when the youth is only interested in pretending to be upper class in the most tasteless, fake and lavish kind of way, and not in that woke bullcrap you’re having. Is there any way to put gold plating on the eyelids of my chihuahua? Asking for a friend.
Not only is the Mara Kavaler a sedan, which is much cooler than some old tractor called a “SUV” or whatever. It also has crystal clear taillights, because face it, in the future no car in the world will have a single trace of colour in its headlight lenses. They will be as white and as privileged as we are.
You will love to think back on this era in 20 years, we promise! You will miss the perfume stench. You will miss spending your last money downloading the latest white rapper hit as the signal to your multicolour screen cellphone. You will miss that every car manufacturer tried to be Audi in the most bland period in the whole history of Audi! You will miss dashboards looking like in the 80s but with some fake aluminium panels made of rock hard plastic and silver paint. You will miss the orange pixelated display showing what the future will look like. You will miss crystal clear headlights still running piss yellow halogen bulbs!
Fast forward to 2023. I hated 2005 in 2005, I hate 2005 in 2023 and the Mara Kavaler makes my skin itch in its AMM form. Yeah, I get it. In the history of Archana, back in the days a Kavaler did show that you actually WERE somebody. In 2005, the showroom shine was fading on the Kavalers already before they had left the showroom, with western car taking its place, and it appears that Mara had to react.
Enter AMM.
Now, AMM has a rather interesting place in history. Starting out as Mayster, their Mara based Triumf got a reputation for being a RAUK competitor that actually didn’t try to kill you every time you went for a drive. But as with many promising low series manufacturers, it ended up with being a badge just slapped on the most exclusive models from a regular manufacturer.
And this time, it was on Maras, of any car you could think of.
Now, do not think for a minute that I have anything against Maras per se. Models like the Irena and the Asteri has provided great value for not much money for years. The Kavaler AMM is everything they are not. A symbol of fake excess!
The difference between this and fake Gucci bags is that Mara isn’t a pirate handbag manufacturer in China. So, by no means could they slap an Audi badge on this to fool people that had forced the pre-dieselgate VAG kool-aid down their throats that it was the best thing since sliced bread. Mara styling cues and Mara badges on what should be a luxury car did not fool anybody back then and it does not fool anybody now. It was not even interesting if the Kavaler was a good car or not. It was on par with what a car should be. But having the same badges as on an old Irena on a car in this class did not work. In the west, the Kavaler AMM was only a player in the margins.
And I know you. If you drive a Kavaler AMM today, you’re just a dirtbag that is only interested in one thing. Getting a V8 as cheap as possible in something that is not a rusted out US van. And can I even blame you for that? No, it is a very specific request with a very specific answer, and it should be OK, but lowkey I still hate you.
And the next time your fingers are burning because you just have to write on Facebook how much you hate the woke bullshit and that the government are forcing EVs upon us, remember that this could be the alternative.
I am not saying that we are experincing good times at the moment, but be careful what you wish for.
Thanks to @AndiD for the car!