Somewhere in Fruinia…
Bolognese: Alright you lot, how’s the car coming along?
Mechanic: We’re just about finished with the paint, sir. But we’re still having issues with the engine…
Bolognese: For the love of God, what am I paying you schmucks for!? Get Corzetti here, on the double!
Corzetti: You do not need to shout, Bolognese. What is all this racket about? I thought your crew had good knowledge of mechanics…
Bolognese: Just a minor mishap. More importantly, why are YOU so late? I thought we’d agree a meeting at 12:00AM sharp.
Corzetti: I went to the airport. To pick up a navigator. As in YOUR navigator…?
Bolognese: Don’t give me sass, shrimp. And where is this so-important navigator you speak of? Get that homeless kid next to you to call him.
C: …this is him. Meet W.N., my American friend.
B: If this is your attempt at humour, I’m not amused. I said an experienced navigator, last time I checked. And also last time I checked, auto racing is a… man’s sport, I believe.
C: Bolognese…!
W.N.: It’s fine, Corzetti. You did say Bolognese prefers to race alone when he drives. It’s fine.
B: Alright then, at least you know your place. Let’s test your mettle. (throws a small book at W.N., who barely catches it) See if you can find the reason why our engine is down 25 hp on what Juggernaut promised for this “performance kit” of theirs. (turns to mechanic crew)
W.N.: (looks at the engine bay, peeking over a mechanic’s shoulder. He then takes a step back, checking the “Engine” section of the book) …
Mechanic: Something wrong, kid?
W.N.: This is a single barrel carburettor, isn’t it?
Mechanic: Looking cool, right? Tuned it myself. This bad boy is primed for performance!
W.N.: Then you’ll have to take it off, I’m afraid.
Mechanic: The hell!?
B: What he said. You trying to emulate your friend with bad jokes?
W: It’s no bad joke, sir. Juggernaut clearly states this engine kit has to run on a 2-barrel carb. You’ll never be able to achieve 75hp unless you change the current carb…
B: Give me that. (checks book)
…well I’ll be sandblasted. You goddamm morons! Has working under my rule taught you nothing!? Find a double-barrel carburettor, or else I’ll get my own to make you!
(a few days later)
B: Well, it’s been a messy process, but this is as ready as it can be. (places arm over Corzetti’s shoulders and neck) Your friend has not heard our little plan for this road trip, I hope.
C: He hasn’t. And this plan is all you, Bolognese. You remember I didn’t agree to this.
B: Not until I showed you all those pictures of your family I have… “laying” around. If this car doesn’t make it to the end, I’ll still have something to gain from all this. Let’s hope your little navigator knows his roads as well as he knows you… (leaves)
C: I’m so sorry, W.N… But if anyone needs to silence Bolognese, you are my best bet. (pats car on hood) Do your best, Familyman. I beg of you… (leaves)
