Shitbox Rally 2023 - Stage 14 (FINISHED!)

[SurrealCereal]

Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures, Take 2: The Tale of Ryouchi Katou.
Featuring: Team VSmgAB
(Written with @Elizipeazie. )
Daytona Beach, Florida.
Halifax Medical Center.

Bright lights. A mechanical beep. The life sapped drab monogamy of white walls surrounded by white walls. Or, as you may know it, the backdrop to a normal checkup. “Alright, I just want you to follow my finger. Okay?” It was an arbitrary check, to see if Ryouchi could focus on a moving object, but one that he’d failed numerous times as of late, owing to the concussion he sustained during his latest race. The cherry on top of a pie that was the miserable season he’d already found himself in, trying to adapt to a new car, new series, and new way of doing things, but dealing with the constant setbacks of parts failing, fenders bending, and the sky becoming the floor for a brief moment. To say Ryouchi’s confidence was at a low would be generous.

At the very least, he’d recovered enough to follow a finger, though doing so without entering a melodramatic tirade of mental anguish proved to be difficult. “Alright, you have no other symptoms, right?” Ryouchi nodded at the doctor. While on paper, Ryouchi’s reasons for having yet to start a race in the ongoing NASCAR season was not being medically cleared, the truth was that Ryouchi hadn’t bothered getting himself cleared until Giacomo urged him to. While he’d had seen the value of a sabbatical after a nightmarish season like the one he had, Giacomo, as usual, lacked the nuance or even basic mental faculties to process why someone might be in a bad mood after crashing enough times to rack up a small fortune.

“Alright. I think it’s safe to medically clear you for competition, your license will be renewed by tomorrow. Glad to have you back on the track.” Ryouchi wordlessly left the emergency room, greeted by his mom, the reason he had such a big target on his back in the first place, but in a way the only person who truly understood what he was going through. Upon noticing he’d re-entered the waiting room, she smiled up at him, wordlessly beaming the expectation that everything went well into Ryouchi’s mind. She was right of course, everyone at MCP figured that he must have healed by now, but nobody had the heart to bring it up. “So? Feeling better?”

3-50 Moon, Shitbox Rally Camp.

Ryouchi, it turned out, was not feeling better as he stirred awake, not feeling any more rested then his stint sleeping in the tin box that was the Faenza during the rift journey. still being stuck with that feeling of something poking his back 5 different ways. In a moment of nighttime paranoia that befalls the best of us upon waking up in the middle of the night, Ryouchi quickly, yet steathily, shot out of his sleeping bag and began shaking it mercilessly, hoping to shake out whatever sticks or bugs had gotten in during his sleep. While at first, he wasn’t able to shake out anything other than the odd dust bunny here or there, a beetle, or, was it a roach? Some flying insect that he couldn’t really make out rocketed past him, and out of the tent he had been sleeping in, into the great unknown. The question of how the beetle had actually gotten inside at all, though, was quickly answered when Ryouchi noticed that his once secure tent was completely ajar, and the sounds of people talking were growing increasingly animated in the distance.

Thinking on his feet, Ryouchi quickly looked around for anything he could improvise as a weapon, and quickly rolled up his sleeping bag to confront the intruder, only to find Giacomo and Johnny obsessing over car talk, speaking loud enough so that anyone who was still awake could hear them, and anyone who wasn’t was bound to be soon. “All I’m saying is that, if you look at the statistics and consider his pace, Vittorio Brambilla deserved to race at Ferrari! Why does his brother Tino get to do it but the driver who can actually win in Formula One can’t?” Ryouchi is taken aback for a moment, honestly amazed that this conversation is even happening in the middle of the night. It sounded like Giacomo was trying to argue that Vittorio Brambilla deserved to drive for the Scuderia… but why do you need to have this conversation now?

“Uncle, he didn’t even drive a Formula one car until he was almost 40, what’s the point of hiring someone that far along? Clay Regazzoni was already at the team at the time, and he was also nearing his 40s but with twice the experience!” Ryouchi quickly separated himself from the discussion, which was quickly turning into a heated, loudly whispered argument between the two, and left to clear his mind for the time being. It wasn’t long, though, until he found himself approaching a hulking, humanoid mass not too far from the camp. Squinting his eyes, he slowly approached the figure, wielding his bedroll as a weapon, steadily making inroads as he approached, until he snapped a twig about a meter from his target, to seemingly no response. His neurons actively frying from the stress of enduring the encounter, Ryouchi creeped forward ever so slightly, letting out a strained “H-hello?” Into the forest

Likewise, after having been forced awake because of a breaker being tripped, Valentin just could not return back to sleep. For almost an hour, Valentin laid in his ‘bed’, staring holes into the roof of his compartment, somewhat regretting the lack of windows up there to see the stars.

Eventually, Valentin just gave up trying, heading out of his trailer again.
There, he was met almost instantly by Rohan and William, who were currently doing their laps around camp as part of their patrol rounds.

“Can’t sleep?” William inquired.
“Not at this time. Shift Happens tripped their breaker a while ago… Could not return to sleep since. Now i am trying to kill time until tired again.” Valentin replied, taking a look around the mostly quiet camp, save for a couple figures in a heated discussion somewhere in camp, “might take a stroll for a while to kill time.”
“Well then… good to know i guess.” Rohan commented just before the two left for their next lap.

Soon after, Valentin found himself just beyond the invisible boundary that made up camp, taking in the scenery of moonlit mountains surrounding him, the snow-covered surfaces making it surprisingly easy to see.
Eventually, he was spoken to, which prompted him to turn around to face the someone that was talking:
“Umm… Hi?”, Valentin replied, confused as to what Ryouchi was doing with his bedroll.

Upon realizing the humanoid cryptid he thought he was pursuing in the dark was indeed just a very tall Valentin, Ryouchi’s fight or flight response quickly died down, though the panic had now given way to an awkward silence that now permeated the air between the two, broken only by the faint sound of the wind and whatever animals happened to be basking in the midnight air. Ryouchi stood there for a moment, taking in the awkward silence, sweat visibly dripping down his face, before suddenly dropping his bedroll, and trying to salvage the situation. “Oh, uh… ahem. I’m Ryouchi. Hello. I don’t think we’ve officially met yet.” Scooping up his bedroll, he quickly glanced from the scenery to Val and back, and inferred that, just maybe, he had met a fellow loner. “I uhh, see you’re also walking around by yourself, I do that too! Really clears my mind, maybe that’s something we have in common?” Ryouchi offered his free hand to Val, hoping to find an ally, or maybe even a friend, during the weeks ahead.

Similarly, Valentin also did not dare break tension between the two while inspecting Ryouchi to the best of his abilities given the limited visibility. Him dropping his bedroll had Valentin think of fetching it for him, but he was unable to act on that thought on account of Ryouchi already scrambling to collect it again.

“Uhhh… Valentin Schrant. No, we haven’t beyond power usage. I just cannot sleep after another team tripped their breaker. Need to kill time somehow…” Valentin spoke, accepting the rather awkward handshake.
He would have gotten out on a bike ride, but it would have been a frankly stupid idea to do so at night, in an unfamiliar area and without sufficiently cold-proof kit. Knowing this, he settled for the next best thing: A walk in the relative safety of being close to camp.

Ryouchi scratched his head, Might as well at least attempt a conversation, he figured. “Cool, uh, same here. I’m sure you can imagine that hanging out with Giacomo can be a handful sometimes. The guy, well, I don’t know if he “gets” it. Like, most people “get” it, he doesn’t. It’s just, y’know”. At a loss for words, Ryouchi demonstrated Giacomo’s personality by pretending that his free hand was a car, his bedroll was a cliff, and making engine sounds as he drove his hand-car-thingy off of his cliff-bed, with the car inevitably hitting the bottom and exploding, articulated using mouth sounds. “Like, most people would see that there’s a cliff and get that you should probably stop, but Giacomo doesn’t try to even lift because he thinks he can jump the other side… So, anyway, yeah, I like to take a break from it all by just going outside and just taking it all in, yknow?”

“I get more than my fair share of weird behavior from others. When your ‘normal’ is everyone else’s ‘abnormal’, ‘freaky’ or whatever you want to call it, people are bound to embrace their curiosity. You get used to it eventually…” Valentin remarks, not knowing Giacomo in person beyond possible talks regarding power use.
Ryouchi considered it for a moment. Standing out like Val did probably invited the bizzare from time to time, Ryouchi had witnessed people’s… Overbearing curiosity on a few occasions, courtesy of Giacomo asking first and thinking later. “Yeah, thats true, you can’t really stop some people. I just wish the guy would, just, I dunno, slow down? Seems a bit ironic, I know, as a racing driver, but I don’t see the point of acting without thinking. Then again, I probably wouldn’t be here if he didnt have that “action man” kind of way about him, so maybe it’s better to be in between, like, you know when it’s go time, but you’re also not callous towards what other people are feeling. Maybe thats asking too much, heh.”

Valentin thought for a moment, trying to make sense of the convoluted wording coming from Ryouchi. In failing to come up with a deeply inspuring or helpful answer, he just let out a “Mhm” in confirmation. A moment of relative quietness was broken again: “When people get excited, boundaries generally loosen up.”
“Hm… So maybe if I calm him down he’ll stop being so unbearable! Why didn’t I think of that?” Apparently, that had given Ryouchi the lightbulb moment he’d been looking for, as he nearly sprinted off to camp, before stopping himself, seemingly remembering that it was nighttime, and slowing back down to a walk. Before leaving, he turned to Valentin. “Thanks man, I think you just helped out more than you realize!” Should… someone… stop him?

“Uhh… You’re welcome?” Valentin returned. Once Ryouchi was gone, Valentin stayed behind for a while longer before eventually returning to bed himself.

Machinas Con Passione’s Shitbox Adventures, Take 2: The Tale of Ryouchi Katou - FIN

[ldub0775]

4 DICKS IN A TRUCK!

(IT’S FOUR DICKS IN A TRUCK! IT’S FOUR DICKS IN A TRU~U~UCK! THEY’RE DOM, RILEY, CHRISTIAN, ROSE, AND THEY’RE 4 DICKS IN A TRUCK!)

(THEY’RE DICKS!)

---

< Characters >

(All having graduated high school in Seattle together the previous year, and bonded over being the relative “outcasts” at the school)

Dominik Shinkarev

Son of excessively wealthy Ukrainian parents, and by extension has ungodly amounts of money tucked away in a number of offshore bank accounts. Years of private schooling and tutoring gave him an acute technical and intellectual gift. Very quiet and somewhat socially reclusive. Slightly creeps the rest of the group out. Has the ability to run very quickly and perfectly silently. At least a little suspicion surrounding him possibly being magical in some way.

5’11" with military short blond hair and blue eyes, thin but muscular build, very pale skin. Always perfectly dressed.

Riley McKinnley

Son of excessively middle class parents, and also very trans. Often has Ideas™ and just as often strings Rose along. Has a very dubious stash of rather peculiar military memorabilia. Has high functioning autism and sometimes has difficulty interpreting intentions behind what people mean, however in general still enjoys being around friends and meeting people. Exceptionally skilled at dirtbike riding.

Fun fact: he went to nationals for speech and debate!

5’3" with shaggy red-brown hair, blue eyes, and thin build (imagine, if you will: young Ellie from UP as a trans boy, with slightly shorter hair.) Wardrobe consists of black sleep shirts and sweat pants/shorts and a very comfortable leather motorcycle jacket given to him by his dad.

Christian Wright

“Straight man” of the group, despite being very homosexual. Tends to watch and wait rather than leading conversations. Born into very conservative Christian family and was disowned when he revealed his gayness. Somewhat rebellious but also cautious to a fault. Was an emancipated minor before he turned 18.

5’8" with long brown hair and brown eyes. Average build with slightly more muscle. Wears mostly plaid shirts or plain tees and jeans.

Roselyn Ashford

Absolutely batshit insane (complimentary). Autistic trans girl and certified goofy goober. Got a forklift certification as a joke when she turned 18, but ended up actually finding it useful at her job.

Talks in lowercase IRL

5’10", physical desc and wardrobe defy explanation

---

< November 30th, 2022 >

Rose:
hey look i found something

Christian:
Oh god oh fuck what is it

Riley:
hmm

Rose:
shitbox

Christian:
What

Rose:
rally

Christian:
God is this one of your Internet Things™ again?

Rose:
no

(link)

Christian:
That certainly looks to be an Internet Thing™

Rose:
but what iff,,,
it wasnt

Riley:
i mean
that looks fun i guess
but what kinda shitbox do we have
the closest thing we have is? moms minivan maybe?
that cost cap looks kinda restrictive

Rose:

Riley:
fuckign wha
how are you going to get that for 2 grand
that

Rose:

Riley:
THATS NOT BETTER

Christian:
Ok to be fair rose, this does look very interesting
But you do realize that we would be going through an interdimensional portal, right?

Rose:
yes
also the rules say that any modifications and/or fixes do not count towards the 2k
>buy broken ass truck for 2k
>fix it
>now have truck

Riley:
Laws™ state that to drive a semi truck you need a CDL
no one here has a fucking CDL

Rose:
dom has a cdl

@ dominik hey you want to drive a truck

Christian:
Jesus Christ
Why does Dom have a CDL

Dom:
Yes, that sounds enjoyable.
Do we already have the truck, or are we just considering at this point?

Rose:
“Centurion 9000 Series Semi Truck And Trailer- $4000”
“Truck parked here in 1997, flooded twice. Frame slightly bent in the middle. Engine doesn’t crank but would make interesting table. Trailer has surface rust but otherwise good condition. Matching set.”

hey dom doesnt your family own like a car restoration shop or some shit

Dom:
Yes.

Rose:
hey looks like we have a solution (!)

Riley:
oh my god

---

< December 16th, 2022 >

Dom:

@ everyone

The truck is running.

Christian:
Christ howd you do that so fast

Dom:
We put in a new engine and trans, and did a frame off restoration of the rest of the truck.
Take note that at no point did I say it looked “pretty”

Rose:
DAAAAAAAAMN
that looks like its gonna suck to drive lol
you know what it needs tho?
bull horns

Dom:
Noted.
Also, I received an E-Mail from an unknown address a couple weeks ago.
It said something to the effect of “Come next year for Shitbox Rally '23”

Christian:
That’s kinda creepy
Actually no that’s exceptionally creepy
Like jesus christ how did they get your email

Riley:
does that say 50 cal?
well i have just the thing!

Rose:
what

Riley:
i got one of these

Dom:
Looks quite useful, given the circumstances, though maybe a bit excessive.

Christian:
Is
Is that an MG42?

Riley:
ye

Christian:
You have an MG42?

Riley:
ye

Rose:
is that especially heinous for some reason

Christian:

It’s a WW2 Nazi machine gun

Riley:
yes!

Rose:
cool

Christian:
How the shit am I the only one alarmed by the fact that

1. Riley has a gun
2. It’s a fucking WW2 nazi machine gun

Riley:
hey rose that original forum link you posted
whats the arrival date again?

Christian:
Oh my god

Rose:
march 31

Riley:
thx
we have like half a year to prep everything we need
hey dom poi
whats the current status of the trailer that the truck came with?

Dom:
As of right now the upfit has been taken off and the team is currently cleaning the frame. Why POI?

Riley
i say because i have had an Idea™

Rose:
hell yeah my mans finally taking the weight of my dumb ideas off my shoulders

Christian:
[Long suffering sigh.mp3]

Riley:
so i had the thought of where we would like,,, sleep
cause rooming 4 people in a truck meant to fit 1 for long periods of time would probably get old pretty fast

Rose:
good point
where does the trailer come in

Riley
so we have this trailer with basically nothing but the frame at this point right

Christian:
Yeah…

Riley:
so what if we stuck an rv on the back

Rose:
heck yeah

Christian:
Uhh where are we gonna get an rv
Weve already spent our budget

Rose:
oh shit

Riley:
it doesnt look like thats explicitly mentioned in the rules
hey dom was there a return address on that email you got

Dominik:
“Glass_Walker@automation.car”

Riley:

Rose:
why ur email look like that

Riley:
idk it came that way
anyway looks like we can just do whatever we please with the trailer
(!)
which means
rv trailer

Christian:
Fuck kinda rv are we gonna put on it though

Riley:

Rose:
looks interesting

Christian:
So its not illegal to slap an rv on the back?

Rose:
looks like it isnt

Riley:
“lol lets just cut shit out of an rv and slap it on the back of a semi trailer”

---

< January 31st, 2023 >

Dom:

@ everyone

Rose:
jesus
that looks awesome
i get to sleep in a fucking semi truck

Riley:
WE get to sleep in a fucking semi truck

Rose:
hell ye

Riley:
we should like visit it in person, i think
that would be cool

Christian:
Yeah that would be cool
Where is the shop?

Dom:
“Greenlake Auto Repair”

Riley:
i have work n shit to do rn tho
meet at the shop at like 6?

Rose:
i still dont have a car lol

Riley:
then we go by minivan
man i love having a drivers license
i mean i barely passed the test but who cares

Christian:
Uhh no thanks i will drive myself thank you very much

Dom:
If we’re meeting at six, then we may as well do so over dinner. There’s much to go over on the truck yet.

Rose:
hell yeah
The Food™

Riley:
sounds good
we dine like kings

Rose:
and queens

Riley:
oh yeah lol

---

6pm, same day, at an excessively nice Chinese food place near Greenlake, Seattle, courtesy of Dom.

Dom:
“The truck and trailer are at a warehouse near here, because they didn’t fit in the shop.”

Riley:
“Yeah. So is there anything we need to know before going in? That is, about the truck and trailer.”

Dom:
“For what it’s worth, the RV on the trailer is entirely unfurnished, however it has a quite frankly impressive amount of storage. That, and the seats in the truck have yet to be reupholstered.”

Christian:
“So what should we even be bringing for this trip? I’ll have packed a couple changes of clothes, yeah, but do we need like food and shit too?”

Dom:
“I’m fairly sure food is provided, however I’ve scheduled several months rations to be delivered nevertheless. We do have no lack of storage.”

Riley:
“In other news: these are some really fucking good dumplings, and I feel entirely underdressed for how nice this restaurant is.”

Rose:
“lol i didnt know you had nice clothes”

Riley:
“Anyway, we should call the server over and get some boxes.
I want to see this truck.”

---

A few blocks away, at a warehouse that seems entirely too large for a part of town as expensive as Greenlake.

[The sound of a warehouse door clunking open]

[A phone flashlight turns on in search of a lightswitch]

[A rather violent “ka-chunk” sound is heard as the dim overhead lamps switch on, revealing:]

Riley:
“Nice.”

[TheYugo45GV]

STAGE ZERO - THE RIFT

---

Adrift in the Rift

---

A harmony of two V8s echoed in the dark blue landscape, one a late 60s big block V8, the other an 80s Euro V8, of course the cars that made these sounds were the IVERA Executive with the camper shell, and the Mayland Ambassador with its almost 20 feet of car, which trundled down the concrete slab road in convoy alongside the other vehicles. It was an amalgamation of commercial and passenger vehicles, their crews expertly piloting them towards Nehmenweld.

On board the IVERA, trailing the Ambassador, General Sabourne had taken the wheel. Amell had elected to accompany Karl up front alongside his pet wolf Ramius, and unfortunately this meant having a couple brimming with sexual tension sharing the car with him. But, it didn’t bother Landon that much, mostly because even when left alone, nothing could happen for hours, or even days. Plus, both understood the concept of time and place. Regardless, with Sabourne driving, the configuration left Aryton riding shotgun, and Denali occupying the rear bench.

“It feels like we are driving through time.” Aryton mused, watching the dark blue sky.

His uncle was no longer in uniform, instead dressed in a plain indigo t-shirt that neatly outlined most of his upper body musculature, complimented by denim jeans and his shoes were a spare pair of military grade combat boots that he’d brought, to use in the winter weather.

“You’d be right.” was the answer that came. “Turning back the clock 80 years.”

“Spooky.” Chimed Denali from the back seat.

Aryton nodded agreeingly. “Sure is.”

“I sure wonder what’s on the other side though. The places we’ll see, where we’ll stop. You and I together…”

“We’ll be out in the wilderness with nothing but the stars above us.” Longingly, the younger occupant glanced out the passenger window at the sky.

Denali smiled. “Together?”

“Together. Just us. You and I, taking in each other.”

Meanwhile, Landon had begun to grimace in disgust, covering as best he could with his free hand. Did they really have to go that far?

God help me.

If this stopped, it would be too soon. But, it was a whole lot better than having to be on the other side of a wall and hearing the nocturnal activity, like was the case at home. Why did Andrew have to bestow this curse upon him?

Aryton’s voice was growing increasingly seductive.“Feeling everything there is to offer.”

The CB radio then squawked with Karl’s voice saying something about a tire. Landon sighed in relief. “Come again?” He answered the radio.

“Every–.”

“Shut it you two! Can’t you see I’m trying to hear.” The General snapped, his authoritative, yet smooth voice silencing them. “Karl, I said come again.”

A response came from the radio. “Finally. I was gonna say we might lose a tire.” Right as that transmission came through, the Ambassador swerved violently to the left, before stabilizing and then pulling over.

In annoyance and worry, Landon cursed under his breath. “Fuck.”

At this time the convoy was also slowing down, probably because Karl had radioed ahead to the Commander and his son that they lost a tire and needed to stop. Soon all of the vehicles rolled to a stop no thanks in part to the Mayland shitting itself. The Ivera posted up just a little bit behind the boat in front of it, with Landon and Aryton climbing out to assess the situation. Karl had gotten out as well and was also assessing what had happened.

Sabourne was the first to speak. “What’s the situation?”

“Well.” Karl strained, as he stood up. “It looks like the tire came off the rim a little bit and shit out all the air. I’m guessing we’ll have to crack out the air pump you brought. Oh, and we’ll have to take the wheel off to reseat the tire.”

“Do you have a tire jack?”

“Yes. Remotely operated hydraulic.”

“Well alright then.”

Soon, after much cursing the tire was finally reseated on the rim and inflated. This meant the convoy finally got rolling again. During some of the later pit stops, the team took a little bit of time to prepare for the cold weather. Landon, because of his fur, realistically only needed a fleece lined leather jacket and some layers underneath; it was relatively the same for the other three foxes, Aryton had his trusty survival jacket, Amell chose a black skiing jacket, and Denali had brought a winter tactical coat. Karl meanwhile had elected to wear a Caracalian designer brand hoodless travel jacket, which apparently he’d bought because he had heard that it was very good at its job and the money was for the protection it offered against cold weather, same as the others, he also brought headwear.

Eventually, they reached the exit point, into the Nehmenweld cold right at the first campsite. There were mountains on all sides, and the first thing about the weather was the wind. So, this was the world they would traverse to find the cup.

The journey had begun.

---

A short interlude and showcase of the rift drive. 'Till next time

[Madrias]

Team VSmgAB & Team Shift Happens

Pre-Race Camp (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp; Part 1 (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp, Arrival. (Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, The Range (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)

---

Stage 0 Camp, Shiverwind Point, Nehmenweld, 2-and-42 Moon

Kaylie slowly woke up after a rather pleasant night with Jayde, carefully moving the larger lion’s arm off of her and sliding out from under their shared covers. The magically-insulated tent had kept their body heat in, making the tent pleasantly warm, and Jayde’s sound-deadening spells meant no one had heard the pair of them “warming up their tent” earlier. Or the second, or third times they’d had a bit of fun under the covers.

She pulled on her heavier winter clothing, her stomach lightly protesting at how long it’d been since she’d last eaten, then slipped out of the tent and zipped it shut behind her so it’d stay warm.

Kaylie opened up the trailer behind the Home Unit and climbed inside, quickly grabbing a bag of grilled chicken pieces and closing the trailer back up before walking into the Home Unit itself to reheat them. As soon as she opened the door, she was assaulted by the rush of warm air escaping the vehicle, shaking her head as she realized they had the temperature set for 80 degrees Fahrenheit. With a glance at Takaraya and Kasiya, still dozing in their bunks with two still wide open up above them, she walked to the far end of the living space, opened the microwave door, and punched in a time. She hit “start,” and no sooner had the light gone on inside the box, all the lights went out in the unit. Even the quiet rushing of the fan pushing warmed air through the unit went silent.

“Shit,” Kaylie said under her breath, walking swiftly-yet-silently out of the Home Unit, then jogging across the camp toward the sleeping trailers.

Over at VSmgAB, nothing of note was happening for the time being. Valentin, Norse, Constantin and Jacques all were asleep, with Rohan and William playing some crude games while sheltered from the cold by the trailer AC.
Mary and Hans, meanwhile, were touring camp and doing half-laps around the perimeter, split by a walk through the center, right past the orange half of the soon-to-be train.

As Kaylie made her way to the trailers, Hans takes a look around as if he heard something.
“You found anything?” Mary inquired in curiosity.
“Not really…” Hans replied, looking around some more, “thought i heard something, but the wind sure does things, it seems…”

Kaylie slowed her pace as she got close to the trailers, trying to minimize the amount of noise she was making as she knew people were sleeping inside them.

“Damn it,” Kaylie muttered to herself. “Now how am I supposed to find which one has Val in it?”

Not having noticed Kaylie earlier, Hans and Mary just went about their lap, taking a few long minutes to come back around to approach the center where all of VSmgAB was set up.
In doing so, it was not hard to spot Kaylie for real this time, which created some confusion.

“Can’t sleep, kitty-cat?”, Mary barked out with zero intent of insulting Kaylie, though it did gain her a punch to the shoulder by Hans.
“Really?” she asked, not knowing what she did wrong. Nor did Hans bother to elaborate.
“Need help?” Hans inquired towards Kaylie, who seemed to have issues of sorts.

Kaylie raised an eyebrow at Mary’s comment, though understood it wasn’t intended as an insult. When Hans, however, asked if she needed help, Kaylie nodded. “Yeah. Val’s probably going to be upset with me, I tripped the breaker while trying to reheat some food,” Kaylie admitted. “Normally, I wouldn’t bother Val at this time of the night, but… I know Takaraya and Kasiya had the temperature in the RV set a bit hot, and with the power out, I don’t know how long it takes for the RV to cool down.”

“Oh right. Tall lad is at the tall end of the trailer, right here.” Mary noted, walking Hans and Kaylie over to the tail end of the orange ‘RV’ trailer.
She then, rather delicately so, knocked on one of the polycarbonate windows behind which Val was sleeping. Not much could be seen through them despite not being tinted due to the general darkness around the area, only dimly lit by diffuse lighting from the lights strewn across camp.
Unsurprisingly, this did little in getting Valentin out of his comfortably heated bed that he actually fits into.
A couple subsequent attempts at this also failed.

“Uhm… Is he dead?” Hans inquires, somewhat jokingly.
“I hope not…” Mary replies, already worrying HARD about her crush.

Kaylie looked over at the two of them having knocked very lightly on one of the windows. She pulled the glove off of her right hand, then knocked on the door to Val’s bunk, being very careful not to damage the trailer or scratch the paint.

Kaylie’s attempt pretty much copied that of Mary earlier and thus has equally little effect on Valentin within.
Eventually, Mary lost it and ‘broke in’ via simply heading around the end of the trailer and opening the hatch that led into Valentin’s comparment.
Immediately, they were met with a small, but noticeable wave of warmth which exchanged itself with the cold outside.

Still being near-enough blind to what was inside, Mary had a ‘stroke of genius’ and pointed a gigh-power flashlight into the compartment, which immediately filled the entire thing with more than just daylight.

Nothing exceptional can be seen in there. On the far wall from the door, a thick oversize mattress was placed atop which Valentin was sleeping, still unaware of anything happening surrounding the trailer. He was engulfed in an equally oversized blanket, forming a cocoon of lanky human, feet facing the door. Looking around the corner, a couple suitcases were visible, one of which was open and revealed a slew of neatly-packed, formal-looking clothing within.

“He’s evidently not dead.” Mary mocked, pointing deep into the trailer to Val, still breathing.
“No shit sherlock. How are we to get him awake now?” Hans grumbled back at her, also peeking inside.

When Mary flooded Val’s compartment with a bright flashlight, Kaylie gave a wince and a half-muffled growl. “Twin Suns!” she spat, shaking her head. “Can’t see shit now.” She looked in the vague direction of Mary, then said, “Please, warn someone next time when you’re going to pull the fucking sun out of your pocket and aim it where others might be looking. Finding my way back to the RV is going to be fun later.”

Upon hearing Kaylie go de-facto blind due to Mary’s flashlight, she instinctively turned it back off again, before pointing it to the ground in search for a lower-power setting.

“Stupid overcomplicated fuckface shit…” she grumbles with relatively little regard for being quiet, though remains at reasonable volumes.
Hans eventually did the same in an attempt to help, locating an ‘eco’ mode earlier than Mary.
The now substantially less blinding light was pointed back into the trailer.

“I have an idea…” Mary said looking around the place for anything pole-like. She did locate a steel bar, originally meant as part of the coupling mechanism for the two trailers once they are on rails. With it, she literally poked at Valentin in an attempt to wake him up.

“We did establish that he is not dead, right?” Hans noted, seriously questioning Mary at this point.
“You have any better ideas?” Mary remarked, continuing the prodding for a while, without success.

Kaylie sighed. “We’ve dealt with this once before. Val sleeps like a rock. He slept through a steam whistle once, after all,” Kaylie said. She paced quietly, trying to think of a solution to this particular problem.

Potentially Sensitive Content - Unintentional SFW Intimacy

Mary and Hans were just staring into the trailer, at a loss for ideas to get Valentin going.
Eventually, the were both startled by Valentin rolling over to the other side, thus now facing them, but still feet first.

A moment of thinking later, Mary grabs the initiative again, crawling inside.
“What are you doing now?” Hans asked, wanting to know what she was up to.
“Saw a prank video where someone got woken up with a nose held-shut. Might as well try.” she replies, carefully making her way to the other end.
“You sure he isn’t gonna just sleep through it and asphyxiate?” Hans said, having seen what Valentin was casually sleeping through already.

Mary just went ahead with her seemingly foolhardy plan, holding Valentin’s nose shut.
For more than a minute, exactly nothing happens, sparking some worry in both soldiers, until their plan proved successful, as Valentin instinctively ‘smacked’ her away, rolled over to his back again and took the mother of all breath to compensate.

“It worked!”, Mary called out cheerfully, practically staring at an incredibly confused Valentin while also perched lengthways across both of his suitcases. Realizing that waking up to a random female person next to you might come across as intrusive, Mary quickly made her way out of the trailer again.

Kaylie watched as Mary managed to wake up Valentin with a clever nose-pinch, then shook her head. “That’s certainly a new one,” she said. She waited until Valentin finished waking up, knowing it was pointless to do much until he’d fully woken up.

A few moment passed in which Valentin took a few more deep breaths, followed by him noticing that he is really cold for some reason.
A peek down to the other end revealed why, thus almost entirely skipping what would be an extensive delay in him waking up.
An act of commendable contortion followed as Valentin turned around within his little cabin and, somewhat violently, slammed his door shut again.

“Someone’s pissed…” Hans noted, befuddled by what just happened.
“Awww…” Mary followed.

From within, aggressive movement can be heard as Valentin hurried to change from just a set of black sweatpants to something even remotely fit for the frigid temperatures of nighttime Nehmenweld.
“I don’t think you’re getting power back anytime soon…” Hans told Kaylie, not knowing that Valentin frequently bends over backwards to not cause disdain amongst his peers.

Kaylie shrugged. “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time things have gone wrong on one of these events,” she said, in response to Hans. “I mean, worst case scenario, I switch the plugs between the Carry All and the Home Unit. After all, while Kasiya and Takaraya are generally easy-going, I know I’d never hear the end of it for tripping the breaker and leaving their sleeping space to get cold.”

“Might want to get going, then…” Hans commented, not confident that Valentin would come back out of his little hiding spot.
As if on cue, Valentin opened the hatch again:
“Need somethin… …?..” Valentin inquired, still groggy, but surprisingly coherent considering how long he has been awake for.
Mary and Hans then basically hid themselves behind Kaylie to avoid being seen as the reason why Valentin was forced out of bed.

Kaylie grimaced, then admitted, “Yeah, sorry to have to wake you up, Val. I tripped the breaker trying to make a midnight snack. Let’s just say that the microwave is getting a note stuck on it to make sure the climate control system is off before using the microwave.”

Valentin took a moment to process the request, then made his way out of the trailer with an amount of gracefulness never seen before.
“Second trip, by the way…” he grumbled, before closing up the door to his compartment and making his way over to Robert.
Within, he referenced a little cheat-sheet that had been taped to the lid of the breaker panel box and then re-enabled mains power to the HD-GV Home Unit.
With a hearty ‘thud’, the door slammed shut again, followed by Valentin locking it.
“Anything else?” he inquired, still obviously not 100% awake.

“Yeah, we’ll try to avoid doing that again, but obviously, can’t make any guarantees. We can only try to prevent it,” Kaylie admitted.

When Valentin asked if Kaylie needed anything else, Kaylie shook her head before answering, “No, not really. I’ll go reheat some food, then get the heat turned back on over there.”

“I’ll try and get back to bed, then…” Valentin grumbled, dragging himself back to the trailer, disappearing within soon afterwards. Likewise, the two recruits returned to doing their laps around camp.

Kaylie returned to the Home Unit, making sure to pause the climate control before reheating her snack, then turning it back on once her chicken was warmed back up. After a quick meal, she put a note on the door of the microwave reminding people to turn off the climate control unit before using the microwave. With her snack finished, a note put up on the door, and the Home Unit returning to the intended temperature, Kaylie returned to her tent and crawled back under the covers with Jayde.

to be continued

[Madrias]

Meanwhile… Back in Nevada

April 1st, 2023, Shitbox Rally Starting Location, 12:00 PM

---

Old, worn out white-walled crossply tires crunched down the gravel road, the staccato growl of a misfiring inline 5 burbling through one of the two exhaust tips as a multicolored limousine arrived in camp.

“GPS says this is the place, but it’s like a fucking ghost town,” the driver said, looking around at the grills, portable toilets, tables, and other debris caused by the many crews who had camped ther overnight.

“Cody, you still got that email?” the front seat passenger asked.

Cody, the driver, handed over the print-out of the email. “There you go, Jake.”

Jake read over it, then groaned. “Fuck!”

“What’s wrong?” three voices from the back said, almost in unison.

“This doofus can’t read is what’s wrong,” Jake said. “Cody, we were supposed to be here at 12:00 PM yesterday, you plank! We missed tech inspection, first camp, the driver’s meeting, and their departure window.”

“Wait, that means I loaded the old Party Cannon for nothing?”

“Yes, Trevor.”

“Well, if we’re not going to get to race,” Trevor quipped, “might as well have some fun.”

“Trevor, don’t!” Cody yelled, moments before a quiet hiss, followed by a muffled explosion, rang out through the car.

The interior, already previously shitty to start with, was now covered in glitter, confetti, streamers, and enough powdered sugar to feed an army of ants.

“Oh, you jackass!” one of the back-seat passengers, a female, yelled.

“I don’t need to look like an extra from Twilight, you prick,” the other passenger, a male, also added with a yell.

“Brenda, Roger, settle down, this isn’t the worst that’s happened to this car,” Trevor said.

“No, but it is the worst our big brother has done to one while we’re in it.” Brenda snapped.

“I’d disagree. Worst was when he got drunk and sharted himself in the back of dad’s old truck,” Roger replied.

Cody sighed and wiped off his phone, then looked for an alternative event. “Hmm… If we can get this piece of shit to Sweden… There’s the 24 Hours of Clunkers there. We’d just have to strip the interior down and buy some racing helmets.”

“Yeah, just don’t be fucking late to that one, too,” Jake grumbled. “Seriously, the hosts were promising an otherworldly trip and you can’t read the email enough to get us here on the right day?”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I won’t be late on that one, you rat prick,” Cody grumbled.

“And you can promise that how?” Jake shot back.

“Because fuck you, that’s how. Seriously, it’s in October. Usually early October. So we get this piece of shit shipped over there, get plane tickets, and then bash the limo.”

“I really want to drift this thing into someone’s car,” Brenda said with a grin.

“Well, you are the current demolition derby champion for a reason,” Trevor replied.

“Just try not to fuck it up before I get a chance to drive it,” Roger grumbled. “Seriously, the last 4 events, I’ve gotten to drive the car down pit lane, onto the track for one lap, and something breaks. I want first drive.”

“Fuck no! You drive like a monkey with a banana up its ass! The reason you can’t make a lap is you rev the flying tits off the engine, melt the brakes trying to do that two-foot-braking shit they do in the movies, and then end up off the track with a blown up motor and fried brakes,” Trevor shot back.

Cody cranked over the AMCW “linear 5” engine that’d been stuffed into their Bricksley Regent limousine, a process that took an agonizing 3 minutes before it finally coughed to life. “Wonder what would happen if we just absolutely sent it into that shed over there?” he asked.

“We all go to jail,” Jake replied.

“Is there, like, a bit of blue light under that door?” Trevor asked.

“Looks like it, but, even if that is what I think it is, it’d be fucking rude to throw the doors open and send it. We missed tech, we missed the drivers’ meeting. Even if we could technically catch up to their convoy, we’re not supposed to. Better luck next time,” Jake said.

“And what’s your thought on what’s under that door?” Cody asked.

Jake smirked. “It’s a doorway to another world. That’s a portal.”

After a quick use of the portable toilets, the crew left the camp as quickly as they had arrived, their sluggish limousine kicking up dust and gravel as Cody wheeled it around and headed back toward the highway, the AMCW I5 and the Bricksley 3-speed slush-o-matic somehow not fighting for once.

Additional Pictures

---

The Highway Hooligans will return…

[Elizipeazie]

Stage 1:

Shiverwind Point to Silvercreek City

Temperature at mid-day: -4°C

Night-time Low: -9°C

Weather Conditions: Strong, but consistent winds make it feel like -17°C for most of the stage. Together with snowfall varying from moderate to ‘almost blizzard’, visibility is reduced. The evening and night are calm in comparison, with winds decreasing and precipitation ceasing entirely.

Camp Challenge: “Service History” (Reliability, two winners: Highest and Lowest.)

---

When the morning finally arrived, we set out on the road toward Silvercreek City, engines straining to life, some people having to get jump-starts, others having to reconnect batteries they’d yanked the night before and stuffed into their tents with them to keep them warm, and a few lucky people who had engines that fired up without a fight.

With swirling, blowing snow around us, and semi-treacherous road conditions, we all got a good laugh at the 55 MPH / 90 km/h signs on the mountain pass. Another sign named it as Radigan Ridge, and those who were driving slow enough, or had a passenger armed with a camera and a fast finger, were able to read the following:

“This mountain pass was named for the first explorer to cross it, known only as Radigan. His journey took him 10 days on foot, from the watchtowers at Shiverwind Point, to his arrival in the small village of Silvercreek. When we built this road through the mountains, connecting Shiverwind Point to Silvercreek with a paved road instead of a dirt pass, we named it in Radigan’s honor, for being the first person brave enough to prove it could be done.”

Like most mountain roads, in better conditions it would be a hell of a lot of fun with winding switchbacks, elevation changes, and a lot of sweeping curves. Those driving sporty cars might still find themselves unintentionally having fun, while those driving ill-handling cars are just hanging on for dear life while driving on two lanes of terror. Luckily, most of the road seems to have been plowed, and some attempts were made to throw some traction aids down in the form of crushed gravel and sand, providing something for our tires to grab onto besides just snow.

At the peak, we’re treated to a grand view from well-above the evergreen forest, well above the tree-line, looking in our direction of travel: North.

As we head back down the mountain, again, it’s worth mentioning that the roads would be great for sporty vehicles in better conditions. One long stretch of gently winding curves just further proves it, and thanks to being on the sheltered side of the mountain, blocking the wind, it’s clear enough that some teams take the chance and push it.

Finally, we arrive in Silvercreek City, which has clearly grown from the “small village” it once was, into a thriving city with 150,000 people carving out an existence in the brutal, bitter cold. It becomes abundantly clear that there’s three main industries out here: Greenhouse farming, ice-fishing, and silver mining.

We’re offered shelter in the Mountain View Lodges, a series of small, well-built log cabins with wood-burning stoves for both cooking and for heat. The cabins are set up in two rings around the main road, leaving a clearing in the center large enough for several cars and tents, should people choose to not rent a cabin and park next to it. This is where we set up the lights to provide some measure of safety in camp, as well as making the shared bathroom easy to see. Luckily, while it looks like an overgrown outhouse, it’s heated with city-supplied hot-water radiators, and has functional plumbing and toilets.

Next Stage Expected Conditions:
Road Speed: moderate
Road Condition: good
Traffic: moderate
Police: high

---

Reminder:

The deadline for top-gear/support mode changes and adjustments to Aggression is: Monday, April 17, 2023 at 9 PM GMT. We will try to make an announcement before that time.

Note:

A refueling stop always takes 10 minutes.
Being Warned by Police takes 15 minutes.
Being Ticketed by Police takes 30 minutes.
Being Jailed by Police takes 12 hours.

Stage challenges are concluded without considering both host teams, as they are not ‘competitors’ in the traditional sense.

---

@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Finish Position: 21st

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 2 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:49:12

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-23

HD-GV Home-Unit:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:49:12

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

HD-GV Carry-All:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:49:12

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:43:56

It’s a slow and steady drive for the Shift Happens crew, with Kasiya and Takaraya taking their time on the road, making sure they didn’t lose control on the twisting mountain roads. Kasiya was very glad to have the automatic transmission as the constant twists and turns meant a lot of braking, accelerating, and a fair bit of turning. Takaraya was less bothered by it, guiding the Home Unit through the same turns and just staying out of the way of the faster teams.

---

@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Finish Position: 32

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 1 / 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-54

VS 221S “Robert”:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

VS 221S “Regina”:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:18:38

After a brief delay caused by getting his certifications done, Valentin rejoined his crew. Constantin and his Speshul Forces quickly got the wheels switched out, the train coupled together, and all crew members onboard. With a blast of the whistle, Val set out on the long journey by rail, getting to better appreciate the snowy scenery as the only things he had to keep watch for were signals.

---

@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

Finish Position: 39 / 45

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top-Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 15:03:42.86

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 10-14

Walkenhorst UtilXL FireRescue:

Travel Time (Earth): 10:48:22.04

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Powertrain

Time lost to breakdown: 03:11:31

Stopped by Police: N/A

Sakura Citrine LWB:

Travel Time (Earth): 15:03:42.86

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Tires

Time lost to breakdown: 07:26:51

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 23:58:27

Today was not a fun day for either half of Team M.A.D. The Walkenhorst started running rough after the refueling stop, sputtering, coughing, and knocking. A bit over 3 hours later, a flushed fuel system, and new fuel later, you’ve solved the problem: It was a bad batch of fuel all along. Luckily, the other tweaks made along the way will hopefully make it more obvious in the future. However, things weren’t going so well for the crew in the Sakura. By the time they rolled into camp, the tires looked like they would have fit right in on a cartoon clown car, wearing a few dozen tire patches each. Thankfully, the crew from the Sinesian Rejects were there to help out.

---

@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

Finish Position: 44 / 4

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 14:53:42.86

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 10.05

Ilaris Imbe Sport S 1.3:

Travel Time (Earth): 14:53:42.86

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 7:26:51

Stopped by Police: N/A

Ilaris Itan Base:

Travel Time (Earth): 04:18:32.31

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 23:48:27

With a healthy respect for how fragile their car was, the crew in the Imbe took things a bit easier. This worked in their favor as they were able to shadow the Sakura of Team M.A.D. Every time they blew a tire, the Imbe stopped to render assistance. In the Itan Ute, however, Ianis absolutely went flat out, engine screaming for mercy through every straightaway, tires shrieking as they were pushed to the limits of their grip. Sirens blared in the distance, fading into obscurity as it became clear that their cars could not match the Itan for top speed.

---

@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

Finish Position: 14

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-12

Schnell L30 1.9 SE Executive:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:31:35

Surprisingly, the choice of a luxury car, once again, pays off, as it’s a comfortable ride around the mountain roads at a reasonable pace. Other than stopping to put gas in the tank and praying that you didn’t get a bad mix like other teams had, things went smoothly.

---

@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

Finish Position: 24 / 24

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression:

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-32

Ivera Executive LXT:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Mayland Ambassador:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:53:56

Smooth sailing for the two crews here, as the only delays were caused by a couple quick pit-stops for gas. Landon and Karl spend most of their time talking to each other on the radio.

---

@Doot

The Knockouts

Finish Position: 1 / 38

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 6/1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 09:18:46.32

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 6-23

1325 Facelift:

Travel Time (Earth): 03:22:32.63

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Papillona 606 S:

Travel Time (Earth): 09:18:46.32

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 00:54:53

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 18:13:30

The first team to taste a bittersweet victory. One car absolutely flying to a victory, the other on a joyful Sunday drive. Sure, Kate managed to arrive on site first, but it’s Octavia’s time that counts for the team. Plus, it’s a long while to wait in camp before power and lighting arrives. Octavia, on the other hand, had a lovely, pleasant drive, complete with stopping for fuel and seeing what it was like to visit the gas station’s convenience store. Nearly an hour of chatting later, Octavia returns to her car with snacks in hand and makes the rest of the trip.

---

@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Finish Position: 32 / 32

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 1 / 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-54

Saguaro T-REE 2000 Wagon:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Kontir Cunningham 1.9:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:18:38

Slow and steady may not win races, but it does keep all the cargo inside the truck bed and camper shell, and it keeps the police from being interested in your cars.

---

@Jaimz68

Team HETS

Finish Position: 14

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3/3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): N/A

Franklin HiWay Rally:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

FM VanGo:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:31:35

A somewhat brisk Sunday drive for the two older ladies and their younger family members leads them smoothly into the next camping area. Other than needing gas a couple of times, and Mopey getting hit for swearing, things were smooth.

---

@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

Finish Position: 31

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:13:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-45

Priscilla II:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:13:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:08:38

Driving slow means you fly under the radar, even in the most eye-catching vehicle possible. With a huge fuel capacity, Priscilla II cruises past the gas stations with ease, and with no breakdowns on the way, it’s a smooth cruise.

---

@Edsel

Team Friendship!

Finish Position: 24

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-32

Bazard E-Series:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:59:12.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:53:56

Other than a quick pit-stop for fuel, nothing particularly exciting happens here for Team Friendship.

---

@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

Finish Position: 50 / 50

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 2 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 24:54:01.94

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 16-66

IP Rugger 4x4:

Travel Time (Earth): 24:54:01.94

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Helping

Time lost to breakdown: 16:19:21

Stopped by Police: N/A

Sanju MDM44 “Wolverine”:

Travel Time (Earth): 24:54:01.94

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 16:19:21

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 33:48:46

It turns out that Marie as a learner driver may not have been the greatest of ideas. Between weaving all over her lane, nearly rear-ending a police car, and very nearly rolling back into the police car as the officer tried to give her a warning for her driving, mistaking the parking brake knob for the glove box door release, and then stopping at the side of the road for a long while because after getting pulled over, Marie had a couple beers for stress relief. Frustrated, the remaining three sober crew members made her sit in the back of the camper with Mr. Spikey until she sobered up. 16 hours, a hidden stash of beer, and one sober Marie later, the crew crawls into camp, tired, annoyed, and with the rattling of empty cans reminding them that, where there’s a beer, Marie will try to drink it.

---

@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

Finish Position: 46 / 46

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 5 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 15:38:24.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 10-45

KKR S2:

Travel Time (Earth): 15:38:24.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 8:25:18

Stopped by Police: Ticket

Roadmaster Voyage:

Travel Time (Earth): 15:38:24.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 07:49:12

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 24:33:08

Turns out, even in another world, sporty vehicles attract attention. Sporty vehicles breaking the speed limit? Well… They get tickets. Getting going again was made even more fun when it was realized that someone pulled the minivan over into the soft shoulder and parked it in a snowdrift, meaning the KKR S2 had to pull it out. This was a mighty struggle for 36 minutes, trying to drag a heavy minivan out with a sports car, made way worse by having to tow the minivan in “limp home” mode for the better part of 8 hours, courtesy of it being limited to 25 MPH. In camp, you find the culprit: one single unplugged sensor, probably jostled loose when the mid-engined-rocketship lunged forward the third, fifth, or 18th time trying to get a stuck van moving.

---

@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Finish Position: 19 / 19

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:41:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-16

Aether 52 H:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:41:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Aether 11/2:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:41:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:36:35

Other than a polite warning to “watch your speed” in the van, things were fairly normal for the pair of 30’s-era cars cruising on the roads today.

---

@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Finish Position: 23

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:51:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-25

Mara Irena 2.0 UR:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:51:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:46:35

A polite reminder from the police about not going so fast later, and the two concealed aliens make it into camp with their trusty Mara.

---

@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

Finish Position: 2

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 03:40:52.26

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 2-39

Ursula F5 400I cross 4x4:

Travel Time (Earth): 03:40:52.26

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 12:35:36

It’s amazing what a crossover can do when you outright floor it in snowy conditions. All four wheels dig in and hold onto the road, hurtling the team to a satisfying second place.

---

@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Finish Position: 8 / 13

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:18:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-75

Reekayns B210:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:58:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Mocabey Pioneer XL:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:18:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Ticket

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:12:44

There’s a lesson here, Spy Kids: Don’t speed so much. A nice ticket from a rather friendly officer emphasizes that point today. It’s a small fine, easily paid, but it still stings to be sitting there on the side of the road, watching cars go by while the officer takes his time filling in all the details.

---

@IDK158

Team J3

Finish Position: 41 / 41

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 2

Team Travel Time (Earth): 11:59:25.71

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 8-08

Tiharris Summer V6 J3:

Travel Time (Earth): 11:59:25.71

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: Powertrain

Time lost to breakdown: 04:51:26

Stopped by Police: N/A

Rhien Willow SR50 Turbo J3:

Travel Time (Earth): 11:59:25.71

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 03:54:36

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 20:54:10

When the Tiharris started misfiring, team J3 was certain they knew what was wrong, courtesy of it being all over the radio earlier that some of the stations had a bad mix of fuel. Unfortunately, a 20 minute fix became a nearly-five-hour nightmare when they discovered that draining the tank was going to be difficult. Thankfully, it was only about a two-hour detour - each way - to get gas from a known-good station… The next time they had to refuel the Tiharris, well… They paid a little extra for the good stuff.

---

@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Finish Position: 29 / 29

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:06:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-39

Juggernaut 862 Custom Aeromad:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:06:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Torrento Providence II Aeromad:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:06:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 4

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:01:35

Airplane engines sound glorious echoing off of mountain walls. Thankfully, the mid-Rift retune also means your vehicles have no issues running off of the local fermented piss they’re calling “Motor Spirits” around here. It’s thankful, because the muscle car can outrun everything… Except for a gas station. At least there’s plenty of those.

---

@Tzuyu_main & @Falling_Comet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Finish Position: 5 / 5 (Winner of Camp Challenge with highest (92.8) Reliability)

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 5 / 5

Team Travel Time (Earth): 06:25:55.39

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-28

Seikatsu Diesel Galactic:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:25:55.39

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Dauer 836RS Darien:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:25:55.39

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 15:20:39

The cops really seemed to like this team today. Thankfully, you got lucky enough to get warnings for both drivers about your “excessive speed,” at least this time. Still made good time despite the cop stops, and both vehicles are still running.

---

@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

Finish Position: 10 / 10

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-70

Warren Warlock FH:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Bowie Bearcat:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:07:44

Turns out that getting warnings for your speed is common around here. Even if you’re police from somewhere else.

---

@Xepy

Team “486”

Finish Position: 48 / 48

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 6 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 19:41:18.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 13-24

Kaufmann Viera Custom:

Travel Time (Earth): 19:41:18.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: External

Time lost to breakdown: 04:14:31

Stopped by Police: Jailed

Kaufmann Kleinbus Custom:

Travel Time (Earth): 19:41:18.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 02:28:32

Stopped by Police: Jailed

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 28:36:03

Surprise, the cops around here aren’t playing around. Things were going great until the steering rack on the Kleinbus got jammed, forcing the team to pull over with cops in hot pursuit. After stuffing everyone into the Viera, hooking the Kleinbus up with tow chains, and attempting to run, Team 486’s luck ran out. Surrounded by police cars, several officers with their weapons drawn, and one officer demonstrating what “K-9 Unit” meant here in Nehmenweld by unloading a trained Dyre on a chain leash from the back of his patrol vehicle, the team surrendered peacefully. The handcuffs were put on, the vehicles were towed to the impound lot, and the whole crew ended up with a holding cell to themselves. 12 hours later, Jayde showed up and slid a few officers a few curious gold coins, motioning to the team in the cell. With your release paid for, and your cars rescued from the impound lot, repairing the jammed steering rack and putting all the cargo back where it belonged didn’t take that long. At least, comparatively speaking. Rolling into camp at 4-and-24 Moon, exhausted and worn out, was not fun.

---

@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

Finish Position: 40 / 10

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 11:03:22.04

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 7-38

Baumhauer 423 Vier Group A:

Travel Time (Earth): 11:03:22.04

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 03:11:31

Stopped by Police: Warning

Hinode Rusa Ambulance:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:13:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 19:58:06

Bad wheel bearings are a real bitch. Getting pulled over for speeding and having the bad wheel bearing seize up, well… The Baumhauer experienced that problem. Three frantic hours of roadside maintenance in the cold later, and the crew returned to the road. Way up ahead of them, the ambulance got pulled over for speeding - Apparently, this looks nothing like their ambulances, but the cops did write some information down to pass on to the emergency medical technicians about “a vehicle big enough to do mobile surgery in.”

---

@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

Finish Position: 9 / 3 (Winner of Camp Challenge with lowest (58.5) Reliability)

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Top Gear

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:08:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-66

Mercedes Blue Wonder Alessio:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:08:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Faenza Spirito SP-C:

Travel Time (Earth): 04:01:31.84

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:02:44

The speed with which the Faenza sprints through this stage is no laughing matter, even if Giacomo is laughing about it ending up on the podium. The Blue Wonder, likewise, dashes through the mountain roads, attracting stares as it goes.

---

@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

Finish Position: 14 / 14

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 3

Team Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-12

VHT Supermobile (Sand Hopper):

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Contra UTE:

Travel Time (Earth): 07:36:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:31:35

It’s a smooth and fast run for the Cunning Stunts crew. No breakdowns, no police stops, just a quick pit-stop to gas up the ute before a fast cruise to the finish.

---

@EnCR

Team Till D End

Finish Position: 32 / 32

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 1

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-54

JMX Linx Turbo Injection:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Avantii Trailduster Camper:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:23:53.68

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 17:18:38

Going slow-and-smooth with the camper seems to have done the trick. Sure, the Linx might be faster, but no one wants to clean up the mess if someone tips all the dishes out in the camper.

---

@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Finish Position: 27 / 27

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Support

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 3 / 6

Team Travel Time (Earth): 08:01:51.43

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 5-34

Basedworks RV:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:01:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 2

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

MCMOTD:

Travel Time (Earth): 08:01:51.43

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 16:56:35

Being pulled over sucks. As your team collects their written warnings, the driver of the MCMOTD decided to fold theirs into a paper airplane and send it flying out over the peaceful mountainside.

---

@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Finish Position: 43

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 14:01:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 9-38

Haapala Streetcruiser:

Travel Time (Earth): 14:01:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 1

Breakdown: Chassis

Time lost to breakdown: 06:48:00

Stopped by Police: Warning

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 22:55:44

As much as it was an annoyance being pulled over, the crew at least appreciated the opportunity to bail out some of the road slush and rocks that had been pelted into the car through its lack of front fenders. Turns out, there was a lot of that crap in the car, and it took a very long time to scoop all of it out by hand with hands that were quite cold from being in an open-cockpit car in the cold.

---

@ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

Finish Position: 7

Support/Single/Top-Gear: Single

Distance Traveled: 374 Miles

Aggression: 4

Team Travel Time (Earth): 06:48:00.00

Team Travel Time (Aetherii): 4-48

Centurion 9000:

Travel Time (Earth): 06:48:00.00

Number of Refuel Stops: 0

Breakdown: None

Time lost to breakdown: 00:00:00

Stopped by Police: N/A

Total Distance Traveled: 551.6

Total Time: 15:42:44

It’s amazing how fast a rig can go on roads like these. The air horns were blown at every team you passed with cops sitting behind them, and other than having to clean up some spilled dishes later on from some particularly “energetic” driving around the switchbacks, courtesy of clipping a curb with the trailer tires, things were fine.

[IDK158]

Damn british cars, can never just have a little breakdown lmao

[LS_Swapped_Rx-7]

sotweytmhsdmfuszth9watu95w3r9olkvwygeutkvwa4g89th8ajv0i9et435bt34634v63vcujtyuiksxerwf54e5uj5ft8 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand: :ok_hand:

hahaha this fucking took long enough i am very motivated for this

TWO BEAUTIFUL
MURDER MACHINES

Even after being suddenly abandoned by Mr. Based at the warehouse, Pierce and Wakaba luckily knew a guy with a flatbed, and were able to safely return the clunkers to the garage to give them a truly based makeover.

Eventually, after countless days and nights, the two finished the work on their badass death machines with absolutely no compromises made.

---

Original Car: 1966 Bellomont Fort Lauderdale/SKULL HARVESTER
Engine: 10.3 Liter OHV V10
Output: 666 hp @ 5500 rpm, 750 ft lb @ 4200 rpm
Length/Height (excluding supplies): 5.76 m/2.01 m
0-60 MPH: 4 seconds
Top Speed: 173 MPH

The main speed machine of the pair supervised by Pierce. Initially, he was unsure how to make the SKULL HARVESTER even more over-the-top than it already was, but for a start, he was lucky enough to come across a gargantuan 10.3 liter V10 in the warehouse which was supposedly a glorified marine engine prototype Mercer engine concieved in the 90s, which he just knew was a perfect fit for this as soon as he saw the power output of it on the dyno was 666.

Just to make sure that it doesn’t get demolished on whatever the hell kind of terrain that Alien planet has, the suspension has been replaced with an entirely new air suspension system that was originally designed for prerunners, but the crazy bastard put it on a 60s land barge anyway. If the massive rear tires happen to kill the visibility for some reason, that’s no problem since the air suspension is also adjustable on the fly.

Fourtanetly, the experience had while driving it isn’t as hellish as it looks as it has also been equipped with a bluetooth controlled bangin’ sound system, including a subwoofer that can be taken out of the car.

And to enhance the already extreme styling, he called up his weird cousin Zach because he might just be the only guy able to make it look even more edgy than it already is. And the end result was possibly the edgiest thing on wheels Pierce has ever seen, which is an amazing thing because is one of the top rules of Basedworks that since incase something sucks too much, it must look absolutely badass while doing so.

Additionally, Zach will also be part of the team.

---

Original Car: 1950 Mercer COE
Engine: 8.4 Liter OHV V8
Output: 512 hp @ 5500 rpm, 577 ft lb @ 3200 rpm
Length/Height (excluding supplies): 8.3 m/3.65 m
0-60 MPH: 7.7 seconds*
Top Speed: 130 MPH**

*not in 6wd
**not recommended

It’s no longer a dream, it’s a reality. And it comes in the form of a 70+ year old truck converted into an RV by a Japanese man. What could possibly go wrong? To ensure that less does, it’s been given an engine that’s not as insane as the V10 but still wild 8.4 liter V8 pushing out over 500 horsepower to 6, count em’ six wheels.

And to ensure that it at least doesn’t get stuck because of unfamiliar terrain, it’s riding on the highest grade off-road tires that could be found, along with each axle being a portal axle for extra ground clearance.

On the inside of this absolute behemoth is a personal luxury palace with bed space for 4, a couch to watch whatever is stored on a 10TB hard drive to a TV, a full kitchen, and of course, plenty of storage space for repairs, all the guns our idiots could ever want, and the like.

---

Meanwhile, at the Basedworks test track...

Wakaba is testing the MALEVOLENT CORPSE MUTILATOR OF THE DAMNED to push it past it’s limits, with Pierce and Zach observing on the sidelines.

Pierce: Alright Wakaba, for this test, we placed a bunch of cardboard cutouts of aliens along the track. We need you to go on a rampage of vehicular manslaughter.

Big Block: Wait… are you serious? It isn’t very likely that we will even do this in reality, right?

Zach: You got absolutely nothing to worry about. I would be overjoyed to cover this thing in even more blood!

Big Block: That’s great… I guess? I’m just going to floor it now.

Wakaba sets off in the demonic hellspawn on wheels, with the obnoxious V10 engine letting off a sound that can be heard from miles away. However, Pierce was still able to hear a strange sound of a camera clicking not very far from him.

Pierce: Wait, what’s that? He checks the security camera feed on a nearby laptop. Oh shit! Looks like we got a guy spying on us! I just knew this was bound to happen. Zach, I don’t know exactly how, but the boss told me there’s something in that desk. Go grab it and take care of the intruder.

Zach: On it.

Little does Pierce know that there was actually a tranquilizer gun inside that desk. Zach thought it would be funnier if he doesn’t tell Pierce about it, so he quietly goes out the back door, and sneaks up behind the intruder. He then fires a dart directly into the intruder’s leg, knocking him out instantly.

Pierce: HOLY SHIT, ZACH! Did you just kill that man?

Zach: Relax! I just knocked him unconscious onto the dry pavement. Now come here and help me drag his body and tie him to a chair or something.

Pierce: (on the radio) Ugh, Wakaba, pull into the pits, we nearly killed someone, and now we have to take care of him.

Big Block: Aww, come on! I have so much more aliens left to slaughter!

After a short while, the intruder wakes up.

???: Ugh, ooh… What happened? Where am I?

Zach: (slaps him) Listen motherfucker! I know about way too many bad cases of top secret shit being leaked, so I am not going to let that happen to us. I don’t care whatever kind of bullshit you work for, no one leaks from us that easily.

???: gasp Are you the legendary Big Block Wakaba???

Big Block: Hey! Someone actually remembers me!

???: Of course I do! Have you watched my video essay about you? It would be such an honor if you did!

Big Block: No! What the hell even is a video essay? You guys should know more than me about that. Do you?

Pierce and Zach shake their head.

Pierce Who even are you? Why did you even consider risking your life by coming here?

???: Well, my name is Nathaniel Binklebottoms Spontaneous Crakalakasnappa James Jr.; I’m the guy behind the channel TurboSpool!

Pierce: D-do you seriously tell everyone that’s your name and expect them to memorize it? Screw that, we’re just going to call you Nate.

Zach: And I just looked up your pathetic excuse for a channel; it has a measly 7k subscribers. Of course we don’t fucking know about it, dude. By the way Nate, do you perhaps have any friends or family that might look for you?

Nate: No… I-

Zach: Great! That’s not a surprise at all because of that goofy name your parents gave you. You will be the perfect guy to come along with us on our adventure.

Pierce: But don’t you think people will get worried about his channel being inactive for a long time?

Zach: Of course not! There are plenty of channels that have been inactive for years. He will just become another statistic. Not like he has that much a worrying audience anyway.

Big Block: I’m sure you can film plenty of content for those video essay things too! We’re just going through some rift that goes to some different planet or whatever. No pressure.

Nate: Wait really? I’m totally down for that; making a video on that will definitely make me go viral for sure!

Zach: I’m sure it will, buddy. Alright, pack your bags. We’re gonna go on one hell of a ride, whether you like it or not. You got yourself into this mess, after all.

---

actual full character bios coming eventually

[Elizipeazie]

Team VSmgAB

Stage 0 Camp; Part 1 (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp, Arrival. (Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, The Range (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, Nighttime Breaker Trip (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp; Can’t sleep (VSmgAB; Machinas Con Passione)

---

Stage 1 Drive, Shiverwind Point, Nehmenweld

By the time the sun started to rise the next morning, the team found themselves remarkably well-rested, courtesy of an involuntary break from sleep for Valentin, a voluntary one for Norse and the shift rotations for the soldiers.

They decided to gather up and have breakfast, which for the military consisted of canned bread with various toppings courtesy of an MRE for each member.
Valentin and Norse -well… mostly Norse- broke out the camping stove and attempted to prepare warm meals for the two Civilians, failing to do so courtesy of winds preventing the stove from being lit.
They both settled on almost-frozen civilian derivatives of what the Speshul Forces were having.

“That started off well…” Norse grumbled, biting into an incredibly stiff rice cake.
“Nobody is stopping us from just taking food into the car to eat while in motion,” Valentin remarked, refusing to unpack his ‘meal’ for this exact reason.
“I don’t think the weather is nice enough to casually be munching down on some chips while driving.” Hans chimed in while glaring at Rohan doing exactly that.
“You will only be driving from here to the station and from whatever destination back to camp, plus some maneuvering, maybe. For most of the trip, none of you have to touch anything, as i will be remotely controlling the remaining cars.” Valentin explained.
In response, all the recruits barring Jacques are grinning ear-to-ear at the thought of being able to slack off for the duration of the trip.

“Speaking of which, we should really get going since i have formalities to solve at the station,” he added.

Soon after, power to the late-risers was cut and VSmgAB packed up, thus moving the four steam cars, their trailers and by extension the definition of camp to the nearest railroad station.
It only took a few miles of driving to arrive at aforementioned station, where the team was expected by a slew of important-looking railroad officials.

“Greetings, are you… Mister Valentin Schrant?”, one of them inquires once the team unfurled themselves from the vehicles, leaving them idle for the time being. It wasn’t hard for the officials to pick Valentin out from the group of eight, despite Constantin having some similarities to him.

“Yes. Nice to meet you. Please excuse the tight scheduling. Travel to this place was less-than-easy.” Valentin replied. The official who shall be named “Bob” just waved it off: “No problem. Let’s get going, then…” Bob hands a clipboard containing a questionnaire to Valentin. “First off, this is a quick-and-dirty test to see of you are fit for Nehmenweld’s rails. Of course, trust is high given that you managed to run on Crugandrian rails with no prior training while also not violating procedure even once, but formalities call for a test to be passed.”

“Sure thing…” Valentin mumbled half-aloud, procuring a pen from within Robert and breezing through the test within less than 10 minutes as if it was second nature. The clipboard is then handed back to Bob, who in turn passes it to another local to tally up the results.

“While that is going, we’d like to have a look at your rolling stock. Specifically, lighting of it.” Bob says, taking a few workers and splitting them amongst the four cars.

“Can you all head back to the cars and help them do that. Forward is low beam and reverse is… reverse. But keep the parking brake on, please.” Valentin spoke to the three assigned drivers, who then followed the local scrutineering staff to their respective vehicles. Valentin himself went through the same process with Bob in person, which was little more than a proof that the lighting works both ways.

Soon after, they all gathered up again.
“Alright. Rolling stock is as legal as it can be given the experimental nature of it… And the test results… huh… well congratulations, i guess…” Bob said, taking a moment to sign a slip of thick paper, then handing it to Valentin, “welcome to the Railroads of Nehmenweld. You may join the rails as scheduled. Please be quick…”

“Thank you very much.” Valentin responded, taking the slip out of Bob’s hands, skimming it before sliding it into one of his pockets.
“We should get going, then…” he added, motioning for the Speshul Forces and Norse to take seats again, finishing the final 400 yards to the crossing shortly thereafter.

There, the process of railing up began as follows:

• Align trailer to the rails. (Rainer first)
• Swap trailer tires for rail wheels.
• lock trailer drawbar to be straight, thus avoiding derailment
• move trailer (Rainer) aside
• repeat process for other trailer of same color (Robert II), the drawbars of both facing each other
• connect the two drawbars with an adapter and telescoping tubes, forming a Jacobs-Bogie between the two
• remove the drawbar locks to allow turning
• move trailer set (Orange) aside further
• align Robert II to rails
• swap to rail wheels
• couple to trailer set (Orange) with rear of Robert II facing the set
• move consist (Robert II + Orange Trailer Set), forwards past the crossing
• repeat process for Rainer at the other end
• move trainset (Orange) clear of crossing
• repeat from step one for the green half (Ramona, Regina, green trailers)
• couple Ramona to Rainer using typical automotive towing bar.
• connect remote control to each engine
• set lights (Robert II low beam, Regina low beam inverted, Rainer and Ramona off)

A few minutes of additional time were taken to procure any needed supplies for the trip from within the trailers, namely food and drink, but soon after, the four horsemen steamcars collectively set the train in motion…

---

The trip itself was oddly satisfying. Not having to contend with the outrageously poor conditions beyond lack of traction and having to watch for signals and other trackside signage, mental load was low for Valentin and non-existent for everyone else. On the other end of the train, they simply enjoyed the snowy landscape go by, which oddly reminded them of home.
Occasionally, they did have to stop for a few minutes at a station courtesy of other rail traffic, providing highly convenient pee breaks. A scheduled stop for refueling was also included.

Eventually, they arrived at a siding, neatly sunken into the ground like a set of tram tracks, making the transition from rail to road rather speedy through not having to move rolling stock around as much.

---

OOC:
The general process is the exact reverse of what is detailed above, but in this case without the movements due to the segment being of sufficient length.

---

Not long after, the train was no more, now being back to four cars and four trailers, which all meandered their way into camp after more than 8 hours of total journey time.

Upon arrival, the usual process unfolded, with the power supply being set up for those teams using it, some of which apparently way faster than the train ended up being. Naturally, the generator was parked about as centrally as can be, the four trailers and other cars being set up in the immediate vicinity of Robert the generator Railcar. After helping with the generator setup for a bit, there was little to do for Norse, though, so he decided to head off in search for friendly faces to talk to…

to be continued

---

OOC: had to do a minor edit to the last paragraph to facilitate collab work. please excuse any inconveniences.

[Elizipeazie]

Public Service Announcement

Participants have 48 hours to submit any changes to vehicle aggression or behavior.

---

Also, people might have noticed an apparent lack of Madrias over here in the past few days.
The risk of him being prevented from tending to Shitbox Rally 2023 was known ahead of time and we have procedures in place for that.

Since those procedures are now in place, here is how the event will pan out:

• Shitbox Rally 2023 will continue to schedule (one stage for two weeks, with the Monday in between serving as deadline for behavior changes)
• The provided data per team (travel times, breakdown losses, fueling, etc) will remain as-is.
• HOWEVER, team-specific stage blurbs will be omitted for however long Madrias is absent for
• The overall stage blurb remains as it already has been written and does not depend on chance.
• An announcement will follow in case i ( @Elizipeazie ) ALSO can not tend to Shitbox Rally 2023 while Madrias still is away.

[interior]

Team Not-so Slow
Chapter 2, Part 2

---

2:30am
After prior plans of improving the MPG went under, mainly because of well, the negligent difference it’d make with an psuedo-aggressive driving style.

Asides from one, the aero dinner-plates. Although they were made of cardboard. Izzy picks up a cardboard box from the trunk and starts slicing it to make four hubcaps. After around 6 or so minutes of cutting up leftover boxes, she then gets a few zipties and puts them onto the car’s wheels. Talk about getting that few extra MPG.

---

4:30-5:50am
A few hours later, before the morning as everyone starts packing up and getting ready to get onto the road. Matt walks over to the camping equipment to see Izzy cooking something, it’s completed anyway. He then tells her that she’s gotta pack up. Izzy then takes the beef jerky and packs it in foil and into a plastic bag.

Matt: "Lets go, we need to get moving now, ain’t got much time he shouts across the other side of the car", where the camping equipment is

Izzy: Why is it always me doing this? C’mon, you do some too. she says in a tiring tone, but as they don’t really have much time she sucks it up

Izzy does just that, packing up the team’s equipment, Matt de-constructs the tent to put into the car, Front-wheel-drive being practical as ever.

---

Camp to Silvercreek City expedition
After some time later as everyone starts getting into their cars, we finished packing up our shit. We get into our car, Izzy being the driver for the stage, and she starts up the car, engine starts to life. All 1.9 litres of it, and floors it off the camp for a second.

After some time later during the driving, we eventually get to the mountain pass, it’s a smooth drive, not Rolls-Royce levels of smoothness but not the kind of rough driving where you’d break your spine and tailbone before you even get there. As it’s cold (aka really fucking cold), Izzy starts complaining “What temperature is it, holy shit i’m probably gonna freeze to death”,
Matt then replies with “You realise the heater still works?”

After some time into the stage, our car is low on gas so we pull over and fill up the car, hoping we don’t get a bad mix. Apparently other teams had bad mixes? 10 minutes later and a bathroom break included, for both team members, Izzy gets back into the car and then continues driving to Silvercreek City, Nehmenweld. Matt rolls up his window to improve fuel economy (and to make the heater more effective inside),

Eventually we arrive at the camp, after a long time of driving, the sun starts rising. We find a parking spot and Matt opens the bootlid and then he gets things set up. Our team gets a refreshing drink from the car’s boot. Not like it’s exactly fresh but it’s water. Whilst Matt finished setting up the tent, he goes and makes some breakfast for the team.

---

TO BE CONTINUED

(ooc: making this mainly as a filler post because i usually don’t post for 2 weeks)

[Elizipeazie]

Public Service Announcement

The deadline to change team aggression or behavior has passed.
Stage 2 will release in exactly a week (minus a minute).

[MrdjaNikolen]

Team Mravolinski-Chitco
Part 1

God save the QUEEN

Bed creaked as consequence of some mass shifting about on it.
Mass in question and also woman of peculiar body build, grimaced on this and continued to shift out of bed.

Due to her roundy bits being of unnaturally great size and her back in naturally not stellar condition, she struggled to get up on her feet and start her day.

-Good morning, our Queen.
-Good morning
-You…dont seem to be in good mood?

Grimacing had shown this isnt the case indeed.
Impression that this woman is in her early 40s (as per her youthful appearance) might still happen to be explained by oversize bulk concentrated in specific parts of body, but you might be forgiven to think that, GASP, she actually happens to be much older than she looks.

-Go away.
-If its your back, i may have suggestion of reducing…
-GO AWAY!!!

Servant had avoided close meetup with the belt.
And yes, it was the back that gave her troubles

-Leopolda, you are awake…
-Yes, Edward, i am…but i deeply regret that decision…
-I had talked to someone regarding your troubles.
Im aware that reaching into 70s is not an easy task, afterall im in same situation myself, but you could make it easier on you…atleast thats what she told me.

Her face approached darker expression, hinting at reaction that was long gone, but got terrifying return.
Edward had caught that and regret of mentioning the gender of his consultant settled in his mind.
As apt for king, he kept composure

-Who is “she”?
-One of nurses had noticed your struggles and brought that up to me…
-They have no business talking to YOU.
-And you have no business returning to your old behaviour.
-I surely do…
-Leopolda, i hoped we went through this already…i dont plan on cheating on you and im aware of my less-than-ideal age.
Kingdom NEEDS females in age range before menopause settles in, because it needs babies and those are important to ensure survival of our kingdom
-Noone said that
-But its specifically implied. I see no reason to be jealous of everything younger than you just bcos you think they will ruin you.
For someone of such humble origins, you are incredibly arrogant.
-ENOUGH!!!

She left with her belt in hand, ready to deliver pain to whoever tries to stop her.
Even after decades upon decades of Edward’s words being proven correct about…just about anything mentioned so far, her jealousy was only partially put out of its spotlight.
You may say as reader, that that title of queen does mean a lot to her and truth is…hold on, something is happening in the garage

---

-How about we steal this one, brother?
-Oh yes, but i prefer this car.
Its…ya know…fancier.
-Fancier my ass, this one is just better.
-According to what, exactly?
-Personal preference.
-That doesnt mean jack shit nowadays.
-Listen, i have an idea…
-No, we are not taking that car…
-Im taking it
-No
-Yes

They stopped and smelt the air

-Do you smell what i smell?
-Increasing stink of female perfume…oh shit, how tf is SHE coming?
-This isnt supposed to happen, he should be chasing us.
Btw this one is much faster car, so im using it.
-I will take my favourite

At this point, bloodthirsty figure of 1.7m had entered the chat.
(In)correctly assuming people leaving are nurses, she settled in car to give chase.

BEEEP
-Aaaaaaaaahhhh, cant fit in this shit…
BEEEEP
-SHUT UP…cant get out either…

She throttles it out of garage, giving chase to criminals that are usually worry of her husband.
Owing to her too big posterior, she couldnt properly sit on seat and horn is working overtime courtesy of her fatbags, that also affect her steering.

---

-I dont believe you one bit…and neither does my child.
-Oh thats nothing but a shame, lady, as im genuine deal.
My magic tricks are really magic and not some pretenduous shit like you see elsewhere.
This portal behind me is indeed genuine portal
-That looks like a garage doorframe.
-Oh but you see, its much more than that.
It can transport you anywhere in world…and beyond.
-Can i climb on this ladder, mom? I want to see how its like to be big.
-Sure sweetie.

After ladder was climbed…

-How does it feel to be big?
-Its awesome, i want to be big all the time…
-You will…

At that point, one of criminals had went in here, car and all, and turned sharp right.
Leopolda followed or tried to follow but due to skill issue, oversteered towards the display.

-NOOOO
-NOOOO
-MOOOM

Car had smashed into ladder and said ladder went flying away into portal as was, as it turns out, the case with still oversteering car.
Portal in this case was opened to similar Rift environment as the one through which our teams entered Nehmenweld.
But it was tad bit colder, road was apparently downhill and it was rather slippery.
Now you may wonder what exactly happened to little girl that was on ladder
Well…

-Ouch that hurt
-Aaaaahhh move from my head.
-No, its comfy here
-Move, i cant see where im going…aaah where tf are we?
-My mom said no swearing.
-That was quite wonderful mom, allowing child to climb ladder and stand on it.
-That would have been fine if you knew how to drive.
-Hrmph, i give up.
-Prob for the better.
-What did you say, you little shit?
-You could have killed someone
-I could still kill you
-Ok, what kind of excuse you would have?
-Im queen. Noone is allowed to offend the queen.
Kneel before me.
-No.

At about this moment, this wild duo had went through another portal on other side.

-I dont know where we are.
-You are small and stupid, ofc you dont know.
-Seems that guy was right, he is real magician.
-???
-Dont ask. There is camp. People. Stuff.

And on that, girl left the car, soon followed by Leopolda.
Leopolda changed her mind and decided to return into car to get to camp.
Camp was abandoned and they realised they are only two people there.

-I need to go to toilet.
-Toi toi?
-What?
-There are some of those lined up there.

Leopolda winced, realising kid refered to portable toilets.
“Toi toi” is apparently brand that makes and/or maintains them around here (Serbia) so i used it here as reference.
Kid was serving herself on one of big water reservoirs when other car arrived, with man and woman in it.
Magician and mother had realised that girl ended up in car and decided to follow already described duo

-Oh thank god you are fine. Why are you so wet?
-Tried to drink…(points with finger)…from there.
-Wait…are you really ok?
-Yes mom, it was fun.
Would do it again.
-Im really almightily powerful. Where tf this portal led us anyway?
-Doesnt matter. Also…we now believe you.
-Yes.
-Lets get you two ladies home.
-YAAAAY

---

-AAAAAAAAAAA
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH FUCKING HAIR?
I hate these shitty toilets
AAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
FUUUUUUCK

At one point, she tumbled in toilet and tipped it over
As you can hear, she is…not excited about it.

Oh also i think i could post rough sketch of her
Such balanced build with no issues whatsoever
(Sketch is based on pic of Kim Kardashian i found on internet, chosen as basis as both her and Leopolda are supposed to be endowed in lower region.
Kim is not inspiration for Leopolda in any way, shape or form (apart from prob artificially oversized roundy bits) and sketch should be viewed as such

Krta's speshul forces

-So, where are we going again?
-Hmm, do i really need to explain again? Oh well then.
I had received very peculiar mail from some Glasswalker guy about organisation of some Shitbox Rally.
-You…never seemed interested in that stuff afaik.
-Yes, but some of our friends do happen to do so.
Certain team that entered previous year was Mravolinski-Chitco. Rings any bell?
-Oh certainly.
-To top it off, Mrdja was part of that team.
-There is almost two decades of fight between you two.
Or, well, between us and them…but you and him, that is really the genesis of it all.
-Neither side can really recall how it all started and i…im not sure for what reason i wanted him gone. But thats of little matter, as i still want to defeat him and have means to do so.
I had probably decided that this fight continues until i die and im keeping to that decision.

Big muscular guy, who will be refered to as Comandeer, had shifted in his seat after he heard from his superior.
Speaking of which, i shall prob describe said superior.

Krta and his inspiration described

As far as i recall, Krta is inspired by certain bad guy called Grimm de Witt that comes from some “Tajni agent Izzy” game. (Tajni=secret, agent is self explanatory and main/playable character is called Izzy)
Unfortunately, this seems to be limited only to Serbia in regards to its international reach, so i will try to explain it briefly

Plot is placed in Meow-york, where certain blue cat (and also secret agent) Izzy lives.
He has girlfriend who also happens to be cat and is very kidnappable
His main enemy is certain rat called Grimm de Witt, who has some bad plans on his mind including but not limited to kidnapping girlfriend mentioned above.

Job of player was to try to navigate Izzy through obstacles that Grimm would set along with his muscular sidekick Hector.
Player does this while TV show is going on by calling said show using phone and navigation is done by clicking buttons on phone (i think 2, 4, 6 and 8)
And yes, this whole thing was aired many years ago, when phones had numerical and physical keyboards

Picture below shows Izzy peeking from left side and two bad guys, Grimm being one on left.

Now, what are differences i may have brought to my own main bad guy?
Krta’s name is inspired by krtica aka Serbian for mole and he has build and some abilities reminiscent of one, meaning he is of much stouter build compared to Grimm
Most of that additional build is fat tissue tho and not muscle.
He rarely digs through ground but he can do that if he so chooses
Also he has full clothing and no hats to speak of.

While im at it, closest analogue to Commandeer i can think off top of my head is Constantin Schrant from team VSmgAB.
Both are leaders of groups of lower-ranked soldiers, being big and strong human males
And yes, Commandeer is as far as he got naming-wise, with no proper name afterwards.

Ofc Commandeer is likely not as good of a soldier, seeing that he usually aims demonstrating his strength and prowess on someone obviously below his own level in either of disciplines but he would gladly do so using his own fists.
Think along lines of smaller and weaker people
(For example, Rohan and Mary from Constantin’s group. These two are also match to Commandeer’s subordinates size-wise and just like said subordinates, they carry and know how to use weapon)

That being said, he does have weapons at his disposal and he can punch through regular wooden door with no trouble afterwards (punched through locked door and used that same hand immideately after the fact to unlock said door, as key was inside lock on other side)

To return back to story, Commandeer thought about everything and decided to talk plan

-So, whats our plan?
-Simple, we are going to follow them closely.
According to mail, they are already on their way to that other world, as mail specified when they are going there.
It also specified location so we will go same way as they did.
-As far as im informed, some other teams in that group could give us hard time.

“Hard time” in some cases may happen to be belittling of what said teams can do
Obviously some members of Shift Happens are some good armor away from being able to go toe to toe with these guys, even if stripped off their other weapons or abilities; members of VSmgAB would likely need to compensate for less man-power via better tactics, not to mention Amanda or Chicota could handle them by themselves
Krta took the known facts into account when setting the answer

-We will attack them when appropriate time comes, meaning to wait until they are fighting something or someone else.
That means synchronising our attack with whatever they may additionally fight off, ensuring their best fighters arent fully focused on us.
For example, email mentioned they had faced off some 3.3 meter tall werewolfes last year…that seems as good of a time as any to attack them
-And if they dont come into such situation during journey?
-Well, in that case, we may as well enjoy journey ourselves.
There will be plenty of time to take our plan into action.

---

They had arrived into Nevada Camp.

-This is…beyond my expectations. Hosts really outdid themselves here.
-What do we do? Destroy the camp?
-No, that could leave marks that will lead back to us…

THUMP

-The FUCK did i just said?!?
-Someone is in camp.
-Wait, what?
-Sound came from over there
-Someone is in toilets.

They had approached carefully and tipped-over toilet (that produced thump attracting attention in first place) soon opened to reveal Leopolda mentioned in previous part of this post.
Not that there would be any logical reason for them meeting up, but…well, they met up now.

-Who are you?
-Uhhh…just a passerby…also a queen.
Your toilets are just terrible.
-Hmm…thats powerful title…but our guns are more powerful.
Besides, we could leave you here with no help
Choose wisely

Leopolda weighed her options and decided to join this group for now
Having many guns pointed in her direction may have contributed to decision
One of underlings had something to say

-This is tipped
-So what?
-I dunno…they can eat us
-Wouldnt eat you, as you are too useless for that
Hahaha
Khm khm
We will position it upright and you need to clean it then

Guy regretted his whole useless life during scrubbing away stuff in toilet that isnt supposed to be where it ended up due to tipover.

-Hey, our targets were precisely here.
-I know what you plan to do…just leave small sign that we were here for them
-Will be arranged boss
-Hey look at this

“This” was looked at.

-So this is how they went there…we will follow them through this
-You mean…how they used to get there?
-Yes.
We have alternative plan tho
-When to prepare for going?
-…Now.

---

Upon utilising some remote of his, Krta managed to open portal in front of shed that was used by SR group.
Portal in question is not going to be as stable as one we used, but it should be pretty sufficient for their needs.

Considering that there was real possibility of it not leading to desired destination, some volunteers were found to check.
And indeed, there were couple of tries until they got it right, which was then dealt with in exact fashion we did it.
Rift drive in this case wasnt eventful either and Leopolda was glad that this time she was in control of her cabriolet.
They had gotten to other side and, as luck would have it, had exited on some nice road.

-Its perfect…
This is probably correct place as well…
-How do we check for that?
-AntiRenata will tell us if she senses the presence of someone based on VerBanka around here
-I…do
Oh my…i would be able to see my daughter…
Yes, this is correct indeed.
-Good, now as a reward, take this sandwich.

She was suspicious, but took it.
She ate it…and went to sleep

-We will keep her under anesthesia until potential battle
If she can sense her daughter, her daughter can sense her…and therefore us.

Andrea Chitco is technically prototype for upgraded version of that AntiRenata.
As such, she is considered daughter of said character by anyone you dare to ask.
To return on subject, Krta had once again took that pesky remote out

-With that being cleared out…its showtime.

And with that, remote was used and as such some portal or more of them was/were supposed to be created.
But how peculiar that it seems to do absolutely nothing…

Some familiar faces in new places

The morning started out like any other at Pedro’s place. Shaike and Mrdja were outside, tinkering with Pedro’s old motorcycle while Sora and VerBanka were inside, enjoying a cup of coffee and chatting.

Shaike and Mrdja were trying to fix up Pedro’s old motorcycle, but Mrdja was struggling with the mechanics. Shaike had been showing him how to tighten up the chain when Mrdja accidentally let go of the wrench and it fell into the engine. They spent the next hour trying to fish it out, but it seemed hopelessly stuck. Finally, they gave up and decided to take a coffee break and join females.
Speaking of whom…

-I really think you should manage this place, Empress.
Your might would make our stay so much better
-And whats exactly wrong with how Pedro and his family do it?
-Well…they never ask you for opinion.
-…This is literally their house
-You are literal Empress of this universe. You can decide fate of everything here on a whim.

Pedro had chimed in as he was passing by

-She just decides to not give a fuck. Until proven otherwise, assume toughest decision she wants to face is of “do i wear red or blue T-shirt today?” kind.
-I…just want to drink this coffee in peace.
-Well, sorry on that, Sora needs to be fking Karen in all and every circumstance
-I what?
-Nevermind. Its something i heard from rest of group and you do happen to behave akin to that, but with rather unique spin.
-I just want all the best for her
-Stop being annoying, then.
Yes, i could have decided to ofc consult with her regarding every single possible decision
But

• I need to prioritise my family first, as husband and father. Not only is my family much bigger than your group, but its much less mature on average compared to you lot: i have lot of children and they usually would not take “no, we currently cant do that”.
• Im seeing her as good friend and would imagine same goes other way. As such, when inside of group or interracting, we are equals.
  She is not particularly needy person and much less bossy.

Child went in room. Words of wisdom went perfectly in line with his very stained crotch

-I peed my pants.
-Ok.
-Our Empress shouldnt have saw your stained pants.
-Does that mean she doesnt pee?
-Sora, as in this older lady, refered to me as Empress.
Considering you saw me entering bathroom just this morning, i guess that answers the question.
-So yes, you do pee?
-Yes. Granted, im not usually doing that in my own pants.
-Im 2. Too small to use toilet.
-But not too small to not need diapers.
Or, well, notifying some adult to take you to toilet to do it.
-Washing stained clothing is bitch and a half. When i was much younger, i needed to wash some sheets and clothes used by hospital.
By hand. In whatever was avaiable.
Washing machines are blessing.

-Uhhh question: why you peed your pants in first place?
-We had challenge: i needed to drink entire juice by myself.
Pack is on table.
-You gulped that entire pack?
-Yes. My brother said i cant do that.
-I mean…that can be done, but expect to need to go to toilet very very soon afterwards.
Although i see you had…learned about that the hard way.
-I have gotten box of cookies.
-Just…eat them in moderation.

Pedro had listened to conversation

-You may be too late with that suggestion…knowing my kids, half of that pack is already gone.
He is also squatting, which means that he is currently doing number two.
Im dissapointed in you and in myself.
-Arent you gonna bring him to toilet?
-He is not to be interrupted while doing the thing.
I will change him and wash him, prob would have needed bath anyway.

As such, he went few minutes later with said son to sort this shit out

-Well that was certainly a conversation
-You arent bothered by that kid?
-He is 2. Also, well, it was overall just funny.
Wouldnt be surprized if Pedro looks like he was freshly bathed instead.

Pedro had indeed went beside them being as wet as human can be.

-Told you.
-I slipped into bathtub
-That…doesnt help.
-Seems im technically clean too

---

Suddenly, Shaike lost his balance and stumbled backwards, right into one of Krta’s portals that had opened up behind him. He fell through the portal, tumbling head over heels before landing in a heap on the other side.
Mrdja rushed over to see what had happened to his friend, only to trip over a stray toolbox and fall into the same portal that had swallowed Shaike.
Sora and VerBanka, startled by the commotion, ran outside just in time to see both guys disappear into thin air. Before they could react, they too were pulled into a nearby portal that had opened up under their feet.

Unfazed Pedro scooped up their belongings and sent them through portal.
“This be all that you had around here. Good luck”
But…he slipped too into portal, ending almost on top of VerBanka.

-Hey watch it
-Wasnt my fault for slipping

He looked above into portal and his wife was looking back on him.

-Dont worry about me, i had went to protect the girls.
-(chuckling) I doubt it, as i watched you falling into it. Stay safe anyway.
-You take care of kids, we have one naked one still roaming around atm.

As portal closed and they paid more attention to environment, they could feel the air around them growing colder and colder. They found themselves in a snow-covered wilderness, far from the warmth of Pedro’s home.

Confused and disoriented and with Pedro trying to dry himself by using some of packed clothing of others, they stumbled through the snow, trying to find some kind of shelter. Luckily, they stumbled upon a set of cabins nearby and took shelter in them.

-I guess i will borrow clothes and stuff from you two.
We should stick together, im sure we will find way from out of here.

Little bit later, Pedro was just returning from outhouse when VerBanka intercepted him and pulled him to side.

-I need you to know something.
-Ok, tell
-This isnt universe from which you and Sora originate.
-Ok and?
-That means i literally have no special abilities out here.
Here im literally just as regular as you are.
-Oh boy, i smell trouble regarding Sora.
-We will need to put up with her lack of that knowledge for now.
She would go crazy
-Somehow i dont doubt that.
Do other two guys know?
-Im sure they would assume that themselves.
-I suggest staying in cabins. Im sure locals would appreciate some help in return for us staying little bit in them.

---

Roaming without much purpose other than making it into this story, he came into Silvercreek City.
After making sure he is somewhat loosely securing his car, combination of being sad and tired led him to stumble into first cabin he saw.
This cabin was used by female part of group covered so far and they were concerned at first, seeing this complete stranger bashing in and promptly faceplanting himself onto one of beds.
Well, that lasted for about half an Aetherian hour, since they concluded that he was just tired and continued on.

When they finished washing some dishes in order to kinda give back to owners of lounge they used, they returned back to find visitor awake.
VerBanka tried to talk in English, but realised this fella doesnt speak it.
Tbf noone they encountered so far was any different, but atleast action used to be good substitute for words.

Pedro would also happen to get in and he was just as confused.
Some other local was brought up, so intentions of this guy would be clearer.
Result was that host local had tried to mimic taking stuff out and other local brought his car and opened trunk.
Girls decided to decline going with him.
Pedro decided to see if this guy would accept whole group by getting some Shaike’s stuff out.
He also gestured that he is coming with them.
This attracted attention of Mrdja and Shaike, prompting them to leave their cabin.
Guy didnt mind that action and was rather happy to see that group has few more members, from which was concluded that he, in fact, wanted some company of general kind.

His station wagon soon got filled with lot of stuff and fair share of people
I was, admitedly, never driven in something quite this old at any point of my life but was able to manage.
From perspective of today, its kinda hard to believe that Chevrolet Suburban started out as station wagon and not SUV as we came to know it, but thats exactly what happened.
By its nature and design, this car that now attempted to leave parking lot of sorts would be of very interesting design

Admitedly, my first idea as writer was something akin to first generation of Chevrolet Suburban, but as i consulted Madrias recently, people around here would be more likely to use something like Ford Model A of 1930s, but stretched.
Im aware of existence of Model A-based truck called Model AA (very original naming i guess) and due to its similarity to Model A, that had wagon versions, wouldnt call out possibility of making even bigger wagons based on truck

Namely, this would be kinda like GAZ-03-30
You would be willing to note that, unlike others, this particular one had rather reliable entertainment system, namely VERY talkative owner.
He had prob realised by now that we cant exactly understand him and shown zero care for that minor detail.

City that locals know as Silvercreek, it was nice knowing ya and we are now going forward to…well, wherever this talking book drives us.
But some engine notes will soon make themselves heard and snow on parking lot will be violated by some other tires…

Tackling route of Radigan

It quickly became clear that these conditions arent easy on either cars or ones manning said cars the following morning.
Loojoe was worse than Siviko and Siviko was rather freezing
Cars had managed to start with lot of negotiation of various kinds and they were kept idling while Amanda and Chicota attempted to help others in either getting car out of snow or getting it to fire up in first place.

Andrea and Mat drove Kontir and Saguaro respectively onto the road and until next clearing besides road sufficient enough to fit Saguaro.

There, they will stop briefly and wait for already mentioned duo to finish helping out.
Andrea surrendered hot seat to whoever was willing to take it, as she wasnt interested in driving further
Willing member in this case would be Pi, that tried to test her driving skills in this condition.

It was decided that better offroader was to take leading position.
After few minutes, Pi thought about Mat taking the wheel of truck but was countered by him over radio, as his greater snow driving experience is of greater use in old wagon.

Driving had been quite uneventful, as nothing of note had really happened during it.
As such, Andrea decided to start game of “Guess who i am?”

-So, here are rules of game. Im…something or someone, that just so happens to be in same room as you.
However, seeing as there is no light source of any kind you cant really see me…or wherever you would be trying to go from your comfy chair.
Kind of questions you are supposed to ask is answered with “Yes” or “No” and if you decide to ask question that isnt answerable by either, i have right to remain completely silent.
Clear?
-Clear. I will go first: “Are you girl or a boy?”

Silence

-Should be noted that “girl” and “boy” imply being human of rather specific age, Mat.
I guess thats why she decided not to answer on this.
-Will try again: “Are you female?”
-Yes
-Uhh…“Should i fear you?”

Andrea giggled on that question

-No.
Out of character, im kinda interested as to why this happened to be literally second question asked.
-Would that question be something you would ask inside character

More giggling

-Yes.
-I figured out who she is.
-Would be rude to reveal that. I know you are right Pi, but i guess game wouldnt really be much of delight in that case.
-Hehehe, im not that kinda person anyway.
Ngl, that wording was quite interesting and was both that and her reaction to it that led me to conclusion.
-Could someone decide you are weird?
-Yes.
Are you smart?
-Yes.
-Could i lift you off ground? Im in good shape, ya know.
-No.

Loojoe decided to chime in

-Have you ever been in Aetherii?
-No.
-Would you want to go to Aetherii?
-No
-Do you like to travel?
-No.
-Can you fly?
-No
-Do you know atleast someone in either car?
-Yes
-Do you have friends?
-Yes
-Considering you said that Mat over here cant lift you off ground, i take you have reason for that claim?
-Yes.
-But you cant see either of us?
-Yes.
-And you are still confident in that?
-Yes.

Mat took over

-Are you physically big?
-Yes.
-Bigger than Chicota?
-Yes.
-Bigger than car?
-Yes.
-Bigger than house?

Silence

-Thats peculiar. Are you living being?
-…No.
-Machine?
-Yes.
-Can yiu move under your own power?
-No.
-Are you supposed to move under…
-…No.

Pi decided that Mat may not be able to guess this

-Are you called A?
-Yes…you said you wouldnt interfere.
-Mat is not aware that your usual house of sort also happens to be handled by supercomputer
A is supercomputer to be precise, but as she is integral part of it, itsnot wrong to refer to entire thing as A.
There would certainly be both bigger and smaller houses than that.

-Ok then, what do we want to do now?
-We are kinda low on fuel here, so…that.

Refuel has happened and convoy continued on its way.
It became quite apparent that team was by no means fast, but atleast it havent finished last…

Mat and Chicota rented out cabins for team to spend the night in.
Conveniently, it seems these were just used by bunch of other people.
Apparently they are now on road to next place, since they found local that would be willing to help and said local just wanted to talk to someone
5 humans, out of which 3 males, speaking in strange language

-I wonder who these would be…

---

It came that point of time where some restocking of supplies needed to be done.
Walker that was encountered yesterday and was guest of team for this stage had accompanied Pi going into town, where he expressed hope they will not meet again during event.
Couple of “Take care and good luck” later, they went separate ways
Pi had hauled the supplies and group had rechecked everything before most of them went to bed

This stage went well in way that there were no breakdowns or other more significant issues and these cabins had proven nice place to stay.
Making that even better would be being better placed in finish of the stage, but for the most part this situation is more likely to go in less favourable way
Its only left to hope that luck will still stay on team’s side…

[Madrias]

Team Shift Happens

Pre-Race Camp (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp; Part 1 (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp, Arrival. (Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, The Range (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, Night Time Breaker Trip (VSmgAB + Shift Happens

---

Stage 1 - Drive

---

After a morning meeting with Kaylie that informed all of the crew that using the microwave required turning off the Home Unit’s climate control, Kasiya and Takaraya got their rigs started and attempted to get their cabs warmed up. Kivenaal and Malavera helped pack up the tents while Kaylie and Kayden gathered up and stored the lights, leaving Rukari and Jayde to pack away the shooting range and the power cables for the lights, Carry All, and two trailers.

A brief, simple breakfast of cold burgers settled the snarling stomachs of the rather large crew, and when 1 Sun rolled around, the two HD-GV units and their trailers set off on the first proper stage of the Rally.

Kasiya was glad for two things: The 10-wheel-drive system, and the automatic transmission. The latter because he could keep both hands on the wheel, the former because the heavy duty utility tires had surprisingly little bite on the snow on their own. The array of windshield wipers flicked snowflakes away from the windows, the headlights carved a path through the snow-filled air, and the echoing bellow of 16 cylinders working hard resonated off of the mountain pass.

“90 kilometers an hour my armor-clad ass!” Kasiya grumbled over the radio after glancing down at the heads-up display on his windshield. “Lucky to be doing 50!”

“Just keep it steady up there,” Takaraya replied. “We’ve got a lot of road to cover, and we’re not driving nimble vehicles here.”

---

It was 6-and-23 Sun when the two HD-GV units pulled up into camp, snow caked in the wheel-wells after a long drive, side windows lightly fogged up, lights still gurning brightly.

This gave them a fair bit of time to set up their camp, just leaving the engines idling until Valentin and his crew arrived at 6-and-54 Sun and got the generator set up.

---

Much later on, after most of the teams had arrived save for the crew sitting in jail, it was Kasiya who announced, while sitting on the roof of the Carry All, “So, you’ve heard in the email that we’d be having challenges, yes?” He patted the thick binder of documentation in his lap, then continued with, “First challenge is this: Service History. Who’s reliable, who isn’t? And, if anyone can come up with the most interesting tidbit of information about their car, that’s even better.”

“We’ll both go first,” Takaraya admitted. “We can’t win, but we can give some interesting information about these two trucks of ours. Like the fact that the Home Unit over there has had its windshield replaced twice.”

“Mine tracks in a straight line because the second-axle steering rack was replaced after, and I quote, “a direct hit by enemy action.” Takaraya there tells me that what that really means is someone drove over a land mine,” Kasiya replied. “So, what crazy stories do all of you have to tell?”

---

Later on, at 2-and-24 Moon, Jayde made his way into town to get Team 486 out of jail. He placed a couple of golden Syrkal coins on the counter, motioning to the team in the jail cell, and mentioning, “I’m here to pay their release fee. They will be paying me back later.”

[ldub0775]

4 Dicks in a Truck, Part 1: The Cast And The Characters

4 DICKS IN A TRUCK!

(IT’S FOUR DICKS IN A TRUCK! IT’S FOUR DICKS IN A TRU~U~UCK! THEY’RE DOM, RILEY, CHRISTIAN, ROSE, AND THEY’RE 4 DICKS IN A TRUCK!)

(STAGE 1 CAMP (ft. VSmgAB / @Elizipeazie !)

---

< Norse and Valentin meet some interesting people >

It can be said that none of the team were particularly well versed in the art of driving a truck on the order of 50,000 lbs through icy mountain passes, however doing so seemed to be rather necessary in light of the trip they were taking. Dom drove through the switchbacks with apparent ease, Riley gawked at the scenery, and Rose and Christian clutched the back of their seats the whole way. About halfway through the trip the truck found its way through a patch of black ice, resulting in rather loud screams from 3/4 of the team, and a few cracked plates.
Finally, after about 7 hours of long (though fun) driving, the team found themselves driving into camp at Silvercreek. Dom meandered the truck off to the side of the clearing, and ordered the rest of the team to help set up the RV to hunker down for the night.
With Valentin remaining close to Robert to make sure everything was running smoothly, Norse took a walk around camp, taking a look at the various vehicles other teams have brought to the event. Anything from barely-held-together shitboxes to old luxury landyachts to massive military-style vehicles could be found already strewn across camp.
What truly sparked some interest to him, though, was a massive US-style semi truck consisting of at least 85 percent rust with a pristine-looking trailer attached.
Norse approached the first person that obviously was part of the team operating this behemoth of a vehicle, a blonde, slim person marginally shorter than Norse who was currently rummaging through some containers attached to the outside of their rig.
“Uhm Hello there! You seem to have brought more than enough in terms of living space…” Norse spoke to the as-of-yet unknown participant while inspecting the full-size semi from afar.
Dom turned, apparently undisturbed, towards Norse. “Yes, sir. We thought it to be a good idea to bring enough to spare. We also tend to take up a fair amount of room.”
“Certainly beats sleeping in a glorified tic-tac, hehe,” Norse chuckled, pointing at the orange trailer he and Valentin share for the trip before turning back to face Dom, “still, could be worse. Some elected to use tents.”
“I imagine so,” said Dom, pausing for a moment to inspect the trailers that the man had pointed out. “Are you with the people we corresponded with about power generation?” he finally asked.
“Yeah. Njordal Eikeland.” Norse confirmed, aware of his hard-to-pronounce name and expecting the worst. He reached forth and offerered a handshake, “Are you even using power from Robert?”
Dom reached out to meet him. “Dominik Shinkarev. Though you can call me Dom. And to answer your question: No, sir. We ended up bringing an onboard generator.” He retrieved a walkie talkie from his belt and asked, “Hey, Riley, are you done with the generator?” A muffled response in affirmation was heard from the other end.
“Ah that makes sense, I guess. Also, no need to be all formal with ‘sir’ and such. People default to ‘Norse’ because they butcher my name all the time,” Norse commented, once again turning around, now curious himself as to what Valentin was up to. As expected, he was still busy getting power to the people as he served the participants and their requests for the juice of electrons.
“If that’s what you prefer, sir. Did you have any troubles on the journey up here?”
“Not at all! Valentin, being the mastermind that he is, put our entire fleet of cars on rails and controls them all with a massive remote of sorts. Needless to say, watching the landscape for 5 hours did not get boring here. How about you?” Norse replied with a smile.
“As a whole, it was great fun driving the truck,” he patted the trailer, “however a couple of us were clutching their seats the whole ride. There was also a small hiccup involving a patch of black ice. I will admit that I’m a bit envious of your ability to not have to actually drive on these roads.”
“Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I don’t even have a scooter license…” Norse admitted rather sheepishly, “and on rails, Val is the only certified member that can run the train, so we are at his mercy there as well.”
“I, and at least one other member of my team, would be very interested in talking to Valentin. Is he free?”
Norse took a moment to look for Valentin again. It was obvious that he was still at work regarding the electricity contracts with a multitude of other teams. “I mean he seems to be working on power distribution, but i’m not him…” Norse said, unsure about how Valentin would react given the unfamiliar situation at hand.
“Ah. I’d loathe interrupting someone while they’re working. Would you be interested in meeting Riley nonetheless?”
“Of course, if you are okay with that.”
Dom once again lifted his walkie talkie, speaking into it, “Hey, Riley. Come around to the other side of the truck. There’s someone I think you’ll be interested in meeting.” A seemingly excited sound of affirmation once again came from the other end.
Dom waited stoically for a moment as Riley came around the trailer, briefly slipping for a moment as he ran around the corner toward them. A long and scruffy mess of hair covered much of his face and a tattered-looking, slightly too large motorcycle jacket hung around him. “Wha’d I miss?”
“Uhh… introductions?” Norse stammered, thoroughly surprised at Riley’s entry to the scene, “Njordal Eikeland. I’m with the team that power most of camp.”
Riley outstretched his hand, “Riley McKinnley. I do… things! Uhh, I’m into cars, ostensibly. I’m the team’s resident mechanic when Dom here has better things to do. I like guns.”
Norse had visible difficulty adjusting to the fast-paced nature of Riley’s personality. As such, the handshake was awkward at best.
“Pleased to meet you… I don’t drive… i have no role within the team beyond vacationing… I like cycling?”
“Cycling is fun! I brought some Bike!” Dom nodded, his face stoic and clearly judging, “Yes. Riley brought a bicycle. And a couple motorbikes.”
Norse wasn’t sure if Dom was judging him or Riley, making him rather insecure in the moment… “Yeaaaah… ummm… any particular reason that ended in you joining this event?” he eventually inquired in an attempt to steer the topic elsewhere.
“Oh yeah! Rose dragged me along. Really she dragged the whole team along but me in particular.” Dom continued, explaining, “Last year, Rose, one of the other members of the team, found a forum post detailing last year’s Rally. I helped restore the truck and get supplies ready, and Rose and Riley helped on the intellectual side.”
Norse decided to dig a little further: “I assume a lot of work went on underneath that thing, then? I mean… I am no expert, or even vaguely knowledgeable, but looking at it has me think that this took some pain and suffering to fix.”
Dom looked back at the cab and explained, “It ended up being a full frame off restoration. We all agreed that the patina was integral to the appearance of the truck, but underneath, it’s all modern. The old engine is now someone’s table, too.”
“It has some charm to it, I have to say… old stuff with a story behind it does create an odd level of connection.” Norse commented. What to them was the truck and it’s story was Norse’s bicycle and it’s story to him. Old, more or less professionally cobbled together, but with an evolution that is unique to that one vehicle.
Dom remembered at that moment that he was interested in meeting Val, as well. “Norse, do you think that Val is free at this point?”
For another time, Norse turned around to look for Valentin, who currently was sat in the driver’s bucket seat of the generator car, seemingly not doing much.
“Looks like it, I think…” Norse confirmed, leading the pair of truckers over to the center of camp where his own team was parked up.
Once there, Valentin knocked onto the driver side window, followed by him opening the door a bit.
“Umm. There’s a couple of people who want to meet you. Dominik and Riley, over here.” Norse told to Valentin while motioning to the two new faces."
Valentin in turn nodded and gently pushed the door all the way open, allowing him to unfurl himself to his full 7’3" height from within the 80s wagon.
“Good afternoon. Valentin Schrant,” he calmly said, reaching out to offer a handshake to both, starting with Riley.
Riley and Dom both shook his hand and introduced themselves. “Christ you’re tall,” stated Riley, and Dom cringed.
Norse could not prevent a mild laugh as he somewhat expected a reaction like this.
Similarly, Valentin also did not hear such comments for the first time and was already accustomed to it.
“Yes. Yes, I am. 7 feet 3 inches or 2.21 meters, the air is nice up here and I do not play basketball,” Valentin recited like a tape recorder, “should get that written across my forearm or something…”
“I’m sorry for that,” Dom apologized, “however I, and I would strongly guess Riley here, would be very interested in hearing about how your hybrid road train (?) system works.” As Riley heard that, he found himself exclaiming, “Wait they have that?”
“No need to be sorry. I know that I am far away from ordinary,” Valentin said, unfased by the comment regarding height. “For the train, we simply swap wheels for steel ones for rail use. I have a remote control system in place that allows me to use the gas and brake on all four cars from here…” Valentin explained, reaching into the generator car to procure the remote control from within. Said remote is then shown to the two guests. “…one stick is gas and dynamic brake, the other is friction brakes. Put some additional lights to make it look a train at night and off we go.”
With every word Riley found himself more and more interested. “What’s the gauge here that you can just swap the wheels and go? Are the cars attached? Is the remote wireless? Is it regulated as a car or a train or both? How does dynamic brake work exactly?” and all the while Dom simply says “There he goes.”
“Two people found themselves.” Norse added in response to Dom’s apparent annoyance.
Valentin then began a still fairly condensed, but more specific explanation:
“They for some reason ended up running standard gauge, 1435 millimeters. Your truck won’t fit because of native track width being far broader if that is what you are hinting at. Yes, the remote is wireless and directly taps into the receivers, which in turn are plugged into the respective ECU. Well… the communication is wireless, but I have a charger cable hooked up to it as I don’t want to lose control of my train at triple-digit speeds. On earth, it is just a quartet of cars with some more lights. Here, cars seem to not be regulated at all, but I did have to register a train company and list these as rolling stock to be allowed to run on rails. The dynamic brake is essentially a torque converter with a fixed output, integrated into the gearbox. Stopping 25 tons of train from well past three-digits in speed with friction brakes only works well once, after all.”
After that, the remote is returned to the car’s interior and the door to it closed.
Riley’s eyes were lighting up looking at the train of cars, inspecting the mechanics of them. "But how do you switch wheels exactly?" he asked, “Do you physically replace the tire wheels with rail wheels? The track width on those cars looks wider than standard gauge to my eyes.”
Valentin was puzzled at the repeated question regarding wheel change. “Uhm… like any other set of wheels. We align the thing with the rails on a level crossing or other suitable spot and get it jacked up. Power tools to the lug nuts and on go the different rim rings. We have two-piece rims to save on weight, as the rail hoops are milled from a solid block of steel,” Valentin explained, only now thinking about how showing is better than telling. Thus, he led the group (or whoever was willing) to one of the trailers. There, he opened up one of the garage-door-style compartments, revealing two sets of steel rings within, complete with flanges to avoid derailing. “The hub stays on the car, we just swap rings, basically…”
“God that’s fucking cool,” he spoke quietly to himself, before more loudly asking, “Did you have to make any alterations to the powertrain, or is is mostly what came from factory? How much power do these even make?”
“Let me put it this way… what remains of the stock powertrain is the AMP ‘Mars’ block, heads and bottom end, plus some minor things. Everything else is completely re-engineered. Depending on how you measure it, you have about 100 thermal horsepower, 223 at the crank and about 270 peak at the traction motors,” Valentin mentioned, heading back to Robert the second, soon after latching the hood of the steamer.
It was then lifted away, revealing what must be the densest engine bay in the history of ever.
“Oh my god they’re steam cars. These are so fucking cool. Immensely cool.” Looking into the mess of wiring and piping, Riley asked, “Christ, how do you even, like, know what’s what?”
“Fairly simple. Anything ahead of the engine is generator stuff and has nothing to do with the hot bits. Brass is live steam, blue-ish steel piping is water… well, should be water, at least. Black hose with blue sleeve is is generator coolant. No sleeve is 400V DC wiring. Orange cable bits are the phase connectors from the generator to it’s controller. Things you know when you are the head that created it all.”
Valentin chuckled a little after having pointed out every major bit of piping, cable or component there is. He took care to not let himself, his equally oversized braided hairdo or Riley too close to anything within the bay as it currently was running to produce power for most of camp.

“How do you even use ICE parts for an external combustion engine?”
“I’m not the first to convert an internal combustion engine to use steam. It doesn’t matter how you push the piston down, really. An explosion of fuel creates force that moves the thing along. Roughly 50 bars of steam pressure also moves the thing along. The pistons do not care.” Valentin commented, carefully lowering the hood again, thus hiding the intricate inner workings of the steam assembly from view again.
“So it’s steam-electric? I assume you just switch the leads off to wherever, or is there a more complicated system than that?”
“Uuuhhh… care to elaborate? The generator and each of the two motors have their own controllers. On my end, I just tell it to ‘give some juice’…” Valentin mumbled, more than loud enough for Riley to hear, but still unsure if that was the actual answer to his question.
Riley cared to elaborate. “Sorry, I just meant ‘is there any special procedure for switching from powering the traction motors to using the engine as an external generator’ - for reference, we just have two different engines, one for the truck and one for the generator. Apologies for the confusion.”
“Aaah okay. The gear lever… well… ‘lever’ has a setting for generator operation. Doesn’t change anything on the engine end and just alters the consumer of the power generated.” Valentin spoke, complete with finger quotes for the PRNDL which was little more than a small rotary dial with some letters on it.
“Oh that’s super interesting. Better than anything I’d have thought of,” he laughed. Riley thought for a moment, before asking, “I would understand if I’m not allowed to, but I would be very interested in seeing the interior of the car?”
Valentin simply nods, opening the driver door a third time for Riley to take a look inside.

Riley chucked to himself. “Hah. I can assume that’s not what it looked like coming out of the factory?”
Just to prove a point, Valentin went around to the passenger side and squeezed himself onto the respective seat.
Folded up like a garden chair, he glanced over to the driver side where Riley was stood:
“I can drive like this. But just because I can does not mean that I should…”
He unfolded himself again and returned to the driver side.
“Apart from that, the only real changes are the center console and the fact that I have a Borosonic for a dashboard…”
Riley looked to the trailer next to the generator car. “Is this for storage? I assume at least one of your trailers is for sleeping in as well?”
“Fuel storage, yes. Thing burns about 75 liters of fuel an hour at full load. This has around 14 hours of fuel, plus added range through not running at full power continuously.”
“That’s a lot of fuel. So do you have RV trailers? From what I remember of the convoy it looked like a number of them had windows, so I assume those are what you sleep in?”
“RV would be optimistic…” Valentin commented as he led Riley back to the trailer where he showed him the rail wheels earlier. “Capsule Hotel is closer…”
Riley laughed, “Yeah that looks a fair bit more cramped than ours, especially given your being rather vertically gifted.”
“I did order a longer mattress to sleep on and extended one compartment to accommodate, so at least I can stretch in bed. But sitting up, even for the shortest people present, is a hard no.” Valentin replied, also smiling a little.
“For once my height seems perfectly adequate,” stated all 5’3 of Riley.
“Would you or Norse be interested in seeing the semi trailer? It has a fair bit more room than your ‘capsule hotels,’ I promise.”
Valentin thought hard for a moment, then relented: “I showed you what i brought, so might as well see what you have as well.”
Riley grabbed the Walkie Talkie from his belt and talked into it “Dom. Reconvene at the trailer. Gonna show Valentin around a bit, and Norse if he wants, too,” before leading Valentin to the trailer. “While we’re outside, may as well look at that first.” He walked up to a large square compartment door on the passenger’s side near the cab, grabbed a key from his pocket, and opened it up to reveal a large generator. “This is the kind of stuff that I do for the team. Mechanical stuff, like getting this generator ready to work while Dom’s busy doing something else.”
“It is… a generator.” Valentin comments as he inspects the unit installed in the compartment. “Likely much noisier than Robert, but it makes power…”
“It’s mostly backup, to be honest,” explained Riley, “for the batteries. We have an honestly kinda excessive amount of batteries under the RV, enough for several days and nights, and they’re actually charged pretty fast by the engine up front.”
“Feeding one trailer with power is wholly different compared to feeding 30 with 4 kilowatts each,” Valentin chuckled, “should add a buffer battery to better account for peak loads next time around, though…”
“Could use those trailers for it,” Riley laughed
“Not without fudging the generator software. Also, I doubt that it will take 200 kilowatts of charging power…” Valentin protested, crossing his arms and looking at the trailer side panels, behind which the batteries presumably are hidden.
“I suppose,” replied Riley. “Anyway, I should show you the interior too.” He led Valentin around the trailer to the set of trailer wheels, surrounded on both sides by retractable staircases. He seemed to think for a moment before choosing to unlatch the rearmost one, sliding down with a satisfying ku-chunk. He clambered up the too-large steps before opening the door and climbing into a spacious, modern-looking lounge area: To their right was a wall with a doorway, and in the center was a table surrounded by couches. On the back wall was a staircase leading up to an area with a large TV and a number of gaming consoles, under which was an area with a few beanbags surrounded by bookshelves.
For Valentin, the trailer’s steps were on the smaller end of comfortable, but once he ducked through the doorway into the lounge area, he was unable to fully right himself courtesy of the second floor TV area installed overhead.
Still, he took a good look around the place:
“That surely took a while to fabricate…”, he noted, knowing that it can’t be stock due to the size of it in relation to the semi truck up front.
“Yes.” said Dom, and Riley jumped, “Christ! How do you do that?”
“I suppose you’re just not observant enough,” Dom smiled humorously, before continuing, “For the most part it was about raising up the original trailer. My shop and I ended up actually combining parts from a number of different sources over a few months, with at least two wrecked semi trailers and an RV going into the exterior alone.”
“Certainly would have sized up things differently…” Valentin comments, both regarding exterior dimensions and arrangement of interior fittings.
From still within the doorway, Norse peeked into the lounge area, taking in the very comfy-looking seating arrangements.
“They have an entire trailer that you still manage to NOT fit into? Talk about being a lighthouse, haha!”, Norse laughed past Dom and towards Valentin, who himself was not exactly fond of that joke.
“You seem a bit cramped in there, Valentin,” Riley laughed, “Lucky for you, the kitchen is decently big,” he said, leading the group into a kitchen and dining area, finally featuring a ceiling tall enough for Valentin to stand comfortably. The kitchen had an impressive level of creature comfort, with a fridge, oven and range, microwave, large counters, abundant storage space, and even a TV. The dining room jutted out from the trailer with a table large enough to fit eight.
Thoroughly impressed, though a bit lost, Valentin took a look around. He never was an avid cook and thus did not bother getting a massive kitchen with all the creature comforts. The lack of frequent visits at his flat also made a dining area redundant.
“20 bucks on Val not being able to name half of the utensils you have at hand.” Norse chuckled, smiling while opening the nearest drawer, revealing the usual assortment of forks, spoons, knifes and such.
“You still owe me 800 Krona for that shirt…” Valentin commented, despite usually not being pushy regarding finances. Still, not being the guy to place bets upon was reason enough to dig up recent bets.
“Fuck right…” Norse relented, closing the drawer again.
“While we’re here, may as well ask if anyone wants anything to drink,” said Riley, opening the fridge to reveal an assortment of sodas and sparkling waters, as well as a jug of filtered water.
“Thank you, but I am good.” Valentin politely declines. Norse however, did accept a serving of orange soda, happily sipping on it thereafter.
Riley also took an orange soda and closed the fridge, “This is likely the most expensive area of the entire truck, so I am very thoroughly happy that the trailer doesn’t count towards team expenses.” Dom further explained, “Though much of this is very similar to standard RV equipment, we ended up setting it up as basically a normal kitchen, as though it were a house. We also took lots of care to make sure that insulation - both acoustic and thermal - are as high quality as possible.”
“Thermal insulation was important for our ‘solution’ as well. Reduces strain on the AC unit we have. Other than that, being low-profile was important as well, since the train as a whole has a design speed of 200kph. Aerodynamics matter at such a speed. The side effect is the apparent lack of space…” Valentin commented, “that said, since trailers don’t count and neither car was built with the express purpose of being ran at this event, our official expenses are measured in pennies, even if Robert alone is worth about 140 grand or so.”
“Turns out, restoration is expensive,” agreed Dom, “but at least money is cheap.”
“Restoration can be. Research definitely is.” Valentin corrected, as Robert II and the other steam cars had little to do with the extremely mundane vehicles they were built upon.
“I suppose so, though I assure you, at least 80% of any proper restoration is research.”
“You lot likely spent more than enough time on either of those. Just went in different directions with different results,” Norse remarked as he went about a trip of discovery, mostly linked to the ostensibly posh kitchen area being WAY above what his pay grade could even dream of.
“And to be fair, given we’re here, none of us had anything better to do,” replied Riley
Valentin just nodded somewhat awkwardly, as he very much had nothing better to do for most of 2022. A notion which Norse also was aware of, forcing him to scramble for a different topic. In failing to come up with one, he simply finished his glass of soda and went over to the sink, rinsing off the glass he just used.
Riley led the team to the front of the trailer, up a short set of stairs, and into a relatively cramped area with a number of bunk beds. Riley yelled “HEY Y’ALL,” proceeded by two heads popping up and immediately slamming face first into the top bunk, immediately followed by an impressive amount of cursing from both parties. “fucking. what do you want. jesus christ that hurt.” sounded a gravelly voice, followed by Rose climbing out of bed.
The relatively cramped area turned out to be even worse than the other end of the trailer, since Valentin now not only had issues height-wise, but also in width even with his relative lack of mass.
While the inverted head-desk of the two other members was amusing to Norse, Valentin was less fond of the apparent disturbance: “Shouting into other people’s ears was necessary?”
Riley laughed, “Had to show the size of the beds somehow, and adding the element of surprise certainly helps.” Dom remained stoic as he told Rose, “We’re meeting the nice men, and since it appears to be fairly cramped in here, we ought to go into the kitchen,” to which Rose mumbled, “ooooowwww.” The group, plus Rose and Christian, the other of the heads harmed in the great Bonkening, once again returned to the kitchen.
“Needless to say, the individual bed of ours has more space than those. Though we have no other rooms to speak of…” Valentin calmly commented, momentarily tip-toeing to exemplify the fact that he can stretch out in full in his compartment, “In any case, I am going to check of more people need hooking up to power. Has been pleasant meeting you.”
“Yes. You’re a good bunch!” Norse added cheerfully, “Talk to ya sometime!”
Soon after, the two more-or-less elegantly headed out of their trailer and back towards their less flamboyant sleeping solutions.

“Riley, for future reference, you should probably tone it down a bit,” said Dom finally after Valentin and Norse were comfortably out of earshot.

---

And as always, a huge thanks goes out to Elizi for dealing with me while writing this!

[Knugcab]

TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS

PART 2.1 - Can I see your driver’s license, please?

Earlier parts

Pre-prologue part 1
Pre-prologue part 2
Prologue part 0.1
Prologue part 0.15 - Interlude
Prologue part 0.2
Prologue part 0.3
Prologue part 0.4
Part 1.1 - What’s that smell?
Part 1.2 - Slip-sliding into camp

PART 2.1 - Can I see your driver’s license, please?

The night at camp had not been very dramatic. Our crew was used to the cold, and the gasoline fired heater had kept the camper part of the Sanju warm enough, without draining the batteries. And there was not much drama going on in the IP Rugger when they left either. In the Sanju Wolverine, however, things were a bit different… The big military truck had a hard time staying in its own lane on the snowy roads.

“I said EASY on the gas”, Arne said while Marie kept slipping and sliding around.

“Yeah, yeah, I am trying”, Marie said, without giving a single attempt to actually lift the foot off the accelerator. From Arne, all you could hear was a deep sigh, while the Sanju went all over the road like a drunken snake.

“And I am not sure that it is a good idea to drive this fa…AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”, Arne was screaming, as they saw a police car slowing down in front of them. Marie slammed the brakes, only to lock up the wheels, somehow managing to barely pass the police car with no space in between the vehicles at all, and finally stopping the Sanju at the start of a hill a bit in front of the police car. The cop was more or less running towards the Sanju, signaling to Marie to open the window.

“What’s the matter?”, she asked.

“CAN I SEE YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE, PLEASE?”, the policeman answered, red in his face.

“Uhm… Here it is…”, she said, “…but as you can see, no commercial vehicle license yet, I am…you know…trying to take it right now.”, Marie mumbled and gave the Swedish driver’s license to the policeman.

“Uhm…I can’t say that I have seen one like this before, but it does not look fake, so yeah, I believe you”, he said. “Trying to take a commercial license, huh?”.

“Yes.”, Marie said.

“HOW ABOUT CHANGING YOUR LIFE GOALS A BIT, TRY TO LEARN TO USE A BALLPOINT PEN WITHOUT BEING A DANGER TO SOCIETY BEFORE YOU EVEN TRY ON A VEHICLE LIKE THIS!”, the policeman recommended her, without any attempt to be supportive at all.

“Well…you do have a point…”, Arne said.

“OK…”, the policeman said, “Papers and registration on this…thing…”

“Sure”, Marie said, accidentally releasing the parking brake when trying to open the glovebox, rolling backwards and somehow managing to stop at the side of the police car with only centimeters between them.

“I can’t believe this… I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”, the policeman said. Marie handed over the papers to him, and since they were in order, he could not say anything. But…he would have liked to.

“Uhm, seems OK. Oh well, since this is a foreign truck, I guess I’ll have to take a look so you aren’t smuggling in some illegal goods”, he said and went back to open the rear doors of the Sanju.

“Ehm, I would not recommend that…”, Arne said.

“AHA! You are trying to hide something from m…YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHH!”

“Shit…I think the cop just found Mr Spikey”, Janne said, sitting in the IP Rugger parked a bit behind, watching out over the scene.

“If we manage to finish this race without ending up in prison, I will drink a can of ATF oil”, Andreas sighed.

“GO! JUST GO! YOU’RE OK! AS LONG AS I NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!”, the policeman said, jumped back into his patrol car (that now were going to have some blood stains on its seats), and went away as if he would have been chased by a demon.

Without anyone taking notice, however, Marie was suddenly gone. After some searching, they found her behind a snow drift, gulping on the fifth can from a sixpack of beer.

“Has it ever occurred to you that you were supposed to be able to drive for the rest of the stint?”, Arne asked her in a very serious voice.

“Uh…uhh…uhh….VIVAAAA LAS VEGAS!”, Marie answered, and everyone understood that she wasn’t going to be driving for a long while.

“GO AND SLEEP INSIDE THE CAMPER UNTIL YOU SOBER UP!”, Arne said.

Marie went in a not very straight line towards the Sanju, went inside and yelled.

“WHO THE FUCK PUT A CACTUS IN HERE?”, she said.

“Santa Claus, probably”, Andreas sighed.

After sleeping some hours, Marie had sobered up enough to be able to drive. Tired, freezing, hungry and in a really grumpy mood, our team members rolled into the camp, last of all the participating teams. Everyone just went to sleep without saying a word. Well, except for Andreas that was stumbling on some empty beer cans when entering the Sanju, saying some words that wasn’t suited for children.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Next part

[Odyssey_Fan]

Team Sane Insanity

Part 1.1 Anything is a Tow Truck if You Try Hard Enough

Pre-Drive
“Stop laughing at my pain!” shouted Raymond.
This was in response to the obvious amusement for the other two team members, witnessing the rather tall Raymond attempt to fit himself in the KKR S2. After managing to sit, in the vague sense of the word, on the seat in the KKR, he undid the roof, preferring the cold to the permanent spinal injury. Due to the possibility of snow, a tarp was fixed onto the passenger side of the car to prevent snow from filling the interior. The team set off, Raymond in the KKR, Nathan again driving the Roadmaster. The whole team was hoping and praying that no mechanical issues would happen to either car, preventing a repeat of the rift.

Stage 1 Drive

Due to the lack of a roof, Raymond decided to floor the KKR, hoping to get to camp as quickly as possible and out of the cold. He began driving significantly and dangerously above the speed limit, considering the snow and the lack of cold weather capabilities of the KKR. The Roadmaster, unsurprisingly, struggled to keep up. However, Nathan and Andrew did not mind, as the Roadmaster was warm and they would entertain themselves with other methods besides looking out the window. The others took their time driving through the snowy roads, a decision that turned out to be great foresight, due to a visit from the cops.

The police had been on high alert after they had received reports of lots of cars traveling very quickly through the road. This was concerning the chain of command, due to the possibility of whiteout conditions later in the day. Of course, everyone was paying keen attention to the speed of the cars driving by, with one officer noticing a bright yellow coupe blasting by without a care in the world. This officer immediately pulled the car over.

“Dang it” Raymond groaned, noticing the visit from the police. He notified his fellow teammates, who eventually caught up and pulled over to witness the police response for this traffic infraction.

“Hello there sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” the police officer, who introduced himself as James, asked Raymond.
“No?” Raymond responded, faking confusion.
“You were going above the speed limit. Do you know that is very dangerous?” James explained
Now, there are many responses one might take. They could apologize. They could make an excuse, like what Raymond did.
“Sorry officer, I did not know there was a speed limit.”
This excuse usually does not work in most countries, and Nehmenweld was no exception. This excuse was made even more pointless and idiotic, due to the fact that they had stopped in front of a speed limit sign.
The police officer, amused by this response, and a creative punishment for Raymond.
“Please step outside your vehicle,” Officer James commanded.
Raymond complied. He was then directed to stand in front of the sign.
“Read to me what this sign says,” Officer James instructed.
“Speed Limit, 55 MPH,” Raymond dictated.
“Now as you can tell, this type of sign makes it very clear what the speed limit is. It is called a speed limit sign,” Officer James explained. He then proceeded to give a long lecture on the history of speed limits and road signs in Nehmenweld, along with the dangers of disobeying them, in the middle of a snowstorm. While Officer James did not mind the cold, Raymond did, and was thoroughly chastised by the end of this lesson and regretting his decision to speed. Eventually, this ended with a ticket, which would be paid upon arrival at camp.

After this incident with the cops was wrapped up and on their merry way, Sane Insanity also attempted to set off. Attempted is the operative word. Nathan, it turns out, had parked the Voyage in a snowbank, and the Voyage had gotten stuck. After the proven method “speed and power” did not work, the KKR was enlisted to the Voyage and yanked out. After multiple attempts to drag the Voyage out of the ditch it made, the Voyage was freed. Finally, the team was able to set off. Except they couldn’t. The Voyage had decided to enter limp home mode. Attempts to locate the issue by pulling codes and checking the fuse box were unsuccessful. The team then decided to use a bootleg copy of Roadmaster’s diagnostic software, but they all forgot which computer it was downloaded onto. The team wasted ever more time narrowing the computer down to an old Thinkpad that refused to charge. Since the team chose to defy logic and download their single copy of important software onto a fossil, diagnosing the issue was made much harder. Sane Insanity decided to cut their losses and try to drive the Roadmaster in limp home mode.
“Can you go any faster?” complained Raymond over the radio, noting the sluggish pace
“No” was Nathan’s succinct response.
“Is there anything you can do?”
“No”
“Is driving 15 MPH really the best option?”
“Yes”
Eventually, the team found this pace unreasonably slow, getting overtaken by semi-trucks, and decided to tow the Voyage with the KKR. After wasting even more time attaching the cables, the KKR proceeded to tow the Voyage at the extremely swift 17 MPH. Due to the minor inconvenience caused by the Voyage, the KKR was proving itself to be a moderately effective tow truck, despite its lack of power and the heavy load. Even so, this was an experience that none of the team members wanted to relive.

After 15 hours on the road and being delayed, Sane Insanity pulled into camp. However, the Voyage was still in limp home mode, having not fixed itself. With the Thinkpad charged up, the team was able to diagnose the issue to one transmission sensor that was not properly connected. All three team members were extremely frustrated that this simple issue drastically slowed them down, but this was entirely said in retrospect. In order to prevent a repeat of this incident, all connectors were fully duct-taped over to make sure they would remain securely connected.

[Madrias]

Stage 2:

Silvercreek City to Hollenburg

---

Temperature at mid-day: 0°C
Night-time Low: -5°C
Weather Conditions: In continuation from yesterday, the winds remain largely unchanged, with mild to moderate strength and few gusts. There is no snow- or rainfall for the entire day.

---

Camp Challenge: Stopping Distance from 62 MPH / 100 km/h.

---

After yesterday’s brutal climb over the mountain pass, spirits brighten perhaps a little when it’s mentioned that today, we’re taking Highway Route 1 to the next location.

While leaving Silvercreek City was slow, the 55 MPH / 90 km/h speed signs and generally decent conditions on the highway mean we’re able to travel at a decent pace. At least one thing is certain: there is plenty of room for passing, thanks to it being four lanes of divided highway (two lanes for each direction of travel.) Those way out in the front occasionally saw a police car parked near the signs, covering the 75 MPH speed limit with a bright orange “Reduced Speed 55 MPH / 90 km/h” sign instead. The road weaves in and around the mountain, occasionally passing through a small tunnel, for the most part maintaining a speed around 55 MPH, but occasionally dipping down to 35 for some corners, and on a couple of long, straight, well-salted sections of the highway, allowing us to make up a little lost time at 75, before having to return to reality for the next section of less-than-ideal highway.

For those who can’t manage the brisk pace on this run, however, it becomes far more obvious that it’s going to be a long drive. Not just will they have to contend with a slower overall time, but also being the first people to deal with traffic. The mid-to-late 1930’s style cars are certainly stylish, and surprisingly quick, but it’s also abundantly clear that our vehicles outmatch theirs in almost every way.

For those who are pushing their luck, every so often, there’s a car painted up in black and white sitting in the hard shoulder, just waiting to catch a glimpse of someone they know is speeding, their red-and-blue snow-globe-style lights turned on and spinning slowly, warning people of their presence.

As we leave the highway and make it to the city of Hollenburg, it’s more obvious now that Silvercreek was small. Easily fitting 400,000 people within it, we’re forced to deal with the consequences: Traffic. There’s not a huge amount of cars, though clearly some people have their own personal motor vehicles, but there’s a surprising amount of trucks, a handful of primitive buses, three tram lines, and a whole hell of a lot of bicycles.

Thanks to the size of our group, the only place Hollenburg has to offer is the Hollenburg Campground. It’s not a popular place thanks to its nearest neighbor: the cemetery.

---

Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: moderate
Road Condition: poor
Traffic: high
Police: low

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Notes: Being stopped by police is always a 15 minute delay for a warning, a 30 minute delay for a ticket, and a 12 hour and 15 minute delay for an arrest.

A change has been made which substantially streamlines the stage calculation process on our end while (hopefully) also making it easier to read for you. As such, the data associated with the challenge is now to be found in the link below, leading to a non-interactive spreadsheet containing the aforementioned data.

(Link removed because we made an oops. Corrections are being made for the future…)

---

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@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

Unofficial Camp Challenge longest distance: HD-GV Home Unit - 134.3m
Things were going smoothly until flashing lights and a loud siren ended up pulling in behind Takaraya in the Home Unit. After a brief warning about keeping his truck in his lane, and not driving in both lanes, Takaraya and Kasiya returned to the long drive ahead of them, with Kasiya grumbling quietly about the traffic and Takaraya trying to keep quite a lot of truck in the lane.

---

@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

After the customary slow railing-up process, the train of Diones quickly reached the line speed, taking a slightly more scenic route to Hollenburg. Val at least gets to enjoy some more mountain scenery while cruising on smooth, sleek rails.

---

@Fayeding_Spray

Team M.A.D.

With the team splitting up, the end result is that the Walkenhorst half of the crew cruises ahead while the Sakura is busy paying back the favor from the previous stage by dragging a certain badly-misfiring Frankencar out of several ditches.

---

@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

The crew in the Imbe were hardly surprised when Ianis took off in the Itan ute again, leaving them cruising slowly along until someone’s loud music got switched on, leading to the startled driver promptly ending up in the ditch. Due to the engine’s constant pinging, there’s not quite enough power to get the car back on the road, leading to one of the crew flagging down the Sakura Citrine for a little much-needed help. Unfortunately, due to the crash, the crash-damaged front suspension now tends to pull to the right, which, when combined with obnoxious passengers, every time the driver’s hands leave the wheel, the Imbe ends up in the ditch, and the Sakura dutifully drags the car back onto the road. Meanwhile, Ianis got his first real look at Nehmenweld’s police force when his speedy driving sent him off the road, and after an hour of trying to get the ute back on the road, the cops caught back up to him. Having shotguns aimed at you, told to get down on the ground now, and realizing that “K-9 unit” in Nehmenweld means being chased down by something bigger than Kasiya, and nowhere near as nice, Ianis surrenders and accepts his fate. Many, many hours later, he’s grateful when Jayde turns up to bail out the three teams that had screwed up.

---

@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

It’s another comfortable stage in the luxury car. However, it’s just long enough for worry to start creeping in. Didn’t it happen last year, after all, that the car ran great for several stages and then started to fall apart?

---

@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

The choice to split up really only ends up making a difference courtesy of the Mayland’s thirstier engine needing an additional fuel stop. Through it all, the two cars keep well within radio range of one another.

---

@Doot

The Knockouts

After victory in the previous stage, the crushing jaws of defeat grabbed Kate this round. An ill-timed sneeze at full speed sends the 1325 Facelift off of the highway, where it quickly ends up stuck in a snow-drift. As she’s ordered out by a Nehmenweld police officer holding back a snarling, 11-foot-tall werewolf with a heavy chain, then promptly placed in handcuffs, she gets an ironic glimpse at the cruising Papillona making its way past.

---

@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

It’s all fun and games until someone does a drive-shaft pole-vault on the highway. Luckily, the Kontir Cunningham is tough enough to take the sudden rear-axle abuse without any further issue, but a highway-side driveshaft repair is not fun.

---

@Jaimz68

Team HETS

Another comfortable, if slightly-briskly-paced drive for the two elderly ladies and their much younger family members wraps up the highway stage. Mopey gets a couple extra lumps after laughing at teams being arrested.

---

@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

It is really bad luck that got all of you this time. See, the police were trying to stop a speeding car that darted around you. The end result, however, was that they accidentally got you with the spike strips, leaving Priscilla II with multiple flat tires. Luckily, you were only stuck waiting for a few hours while the police came back with a couple of mystics to un-pop and re-inflate your blown tires.

---

@Edsel

Team Friendship!

The wheels on the bus go ‘round and ‘round, all down the road.

---

@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

After yesterday’s beer fiasco, the solution this time was to pack all the alcohol into the IP Rugger and leave Marie plenty of water in the Wolverine. It seemed to work as she stayed sober this time.

---

@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

Nearly 5 hours were lost to diagnosing a misfiring midship sports car. After being concerned that it was bad fuel, bad plugs, or a bad fuel injector, the real problem was found: The engine had a rat-chewed ignition coil wire that caused intermittent misfires. After copious amounts of electrical tape were wrapped around the high-voltage line, the engine seems to run well enough to continue the stage.

---

@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

The fender skirts on the 11/2 are beautiful, but they suck to remove when a tire has popped. The end result is nearly 3 hours of lost time courtesy of removing and replacing the skirts twice thanks to some road debris.

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@AndiD

Team Taciturn

The aliens have no issues on this stage, making a very clean run.

---

@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

With the crappy conditions in your favor, the crossover sprints to the finish line first. Unfortunately, it’ll be a while before lighting arrives in camp.

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@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

It was all fun and games until the Reekayns threw a rod. 7 hours and 32 minutes later, the engine is now “running” with a missing cylinder. This produced a smoke machine that very quickly resulted in getting a warning that “we don’t appreciate the smoke, so get it cleaned up.” Spare parts are used in camp to return the engine to fully-functioning condition, following the very pleasant experience of an unbalanced paint-shaker of an engine. Meanwhile, the Mocabey spent roughly 4-and-a-quarter hours going the wrong way and then had to turn around and go the right way.

---

@IDK158

Team J3

Camp Challenge winner (shortest stopping distance): Tiharris Summer V6 J3 - 33.5m
It’s a smooth and quiet cruise for team J3 this time. No failures, only a basic traffic stop because the Rhien Willow was all over the road.

---

@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Camp Challenge winner (longest stopping distance): Juggernaut 862 Custom Aeromad - 77.7m
If there’s one certainty about having RWD and an airplane engine, it’s that you learn really fast what the definition of “too much power” is. With the Torrento spending a bit over 8.5 hours off the road needing a tug after someone’s heavy right foot put it in the ditch, it’s very clear that this car is “too powerful” for its own good.

---

@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Other than getting a warning for the Seikatsu’s width causing their extended flatbed to flick the aerials of every police car nearby, it was smooth sailing for the crews involved.

---

@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

Another crew with some really nasty tire trouble. First, you hit the spike strip meant for someone else, and then you slid right into the ditch and buried the car in a snow-drift. Then, with spare tires, patches, and chewing gum in the holes, you did it again just for good measure. This time, you asked a local policeman if they could possibly get you tires in your measurements. They returned… With several inner-tubes to fill your tortured tires with so you could limp it to camp.

---

@Xepy

Team “486”

Luck was on your side this time. No breakdowns while both cars were flat out, one drafting the other, sirens screaming the whole way behind you. Turns out, the Nehmenweld Highway Patrol takes the Highway part of their name very seriously, as their failed attempt to describe your vehicles as they left the highway means you got away clean… This time.

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@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

With the Baumhauer spending 5 hours and 41 minutes on the side of the road dealing with a mysterious ticking noise and the Hinode getting pulled over for a speeding ticket, it’s not exactly an uneventful voyage today.

---

@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

Other than Alessio getting a warning for his driving pace in the Blue Wonder, it’s a smooth experience here.

---

@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

Both crews were bored on this trip, as it was a long, long stretch of highway driving with nothing really going on other than the occasional car parked on the side of the road to look at.

---

@EnCR

Team Till D End

When the dry-rotted tires on the camper’s rear axle exploded, it created one interesting setback for Team Till D End. Fortunately, after 4 hours of waiting, a few policemen were able to retrofit some tube tires and their respective treads onto the rear dually axle of your truck. It feels a little strange to drive a “ten wheeler” into camp, courtesy of the eight tires, two per rim, crammed under the camper bed.

---

@LS_Swapped_RX7

Basedworks

It turns out, driving the edgiest car around doesn’t go over well when you’re driving like an idiot drafting the camper in front of you. Luckily, when the MCMOTD came to a shuddering halt courtesy of something fouling up the fuel system, the cops were only interested in arresting the driver of it. That said, being confronted by Nehmenweld’s version of “K-9” units in the form of giant freaking werewolves, plus the cops who started by aiming sawn-off shotguns at you, that was a guarantee for cooperation.

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@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Spending 10 hours and 34 minutes diagnosing an intermittent fault causing the engine to completely shut off on the highway is a nightmare. Especially when it just keeps happening, racking up 20 minutes here, an hour there, 12 minutes over there, and so on. Eventually, the problem is solved, and the crew is able to scream into camp in their open-cockpit roadster.

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@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

18 wheels of PAIN. Running over a discarded spike strip and puncturing all 18 wheels sucked. Sure, patching them all up was easy enough, but 18 wheels needing work wasn’t fun. Neither were the 100 lug-nuts all put on by the 800 pound gorilla in the shop the last time the rig was worked on. After nearly 11 hours of back-breaking work, you’re on the road again.

[Madrias]

Team Shift Happens

Pre-Race Camp (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp; Part 1 (VSmgAB)
Stage 0 Camp, Arrival. (Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, The Range (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, Night Time Breaker Trip (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 1 Drive (Shift Happens)

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Stage 2 Drive

Highway Route 1, heading to Hollenburg

---

Kaylie had to admit, it was a bit unusual having the team split into two vehicles like this. She and Jayde were joined by Kasiya behind the wheel, and Rukari who was currently their radio operator, while the other truck had Takaraya driving, Kivenaal and Malavera in the back, and Kayden as the radio operator. The HD-GV units had room for 5 people with ease, but they only had 4 in each cab. Ironically, the biggest argument the team had actually had while back in Nevada was regarding who went in which vehicle - Kivenaal and Malavera had refused to be in separate trucks, and likewise, Jayde insisted he would rather be with Kaylie instead of on his own.

But the team split meant that, unless they were on the radio, or within range of the HD-GVs’ internal networking equipment, there was no contact with the other half of the team. And as for using the computers, Kaylie and Jayde both gave up after realizing neither of them knew the language or the keyboard layout enough to use it, even if Malavera was familiar with the system.

---

Takaraya was just getting comfortable on the first proper bit of highway cruising they got to do. While Kasiya was right in the middle of the lane up ahead, kicking up snow from the side of the road with the HD-GVs tires and the trailer tires as well, Takaraya was a bit further over, keeping his truck out of the snow-pile at the edge of the lane.

Things seemed normal until he heard the long, slow, rising wail of an air-raid siren from behind his rig. A glance in the mirror showed flashes of light, and his knowledge on vehicles dragged a groan out of him. “Kayden, inform Kasiya and the others that we just got pulled over,” Takaraya said, putting on the hazard lights and pulling the rig over. Kasiya, up ahead, did much the same.

---

15 minutes and a polite warning to keep his rig in the lane later, the convoy was back on the move, passing by a couple of teams who were having far worse luck with the police.

Kaylie looked out of the rear cab window and asked, “Are they using Dyre as police dogs?”

“Yes,” Jayde replied. “Let’s face it, would you run from one, knowing they will chase you until they catch you?”

Kaylie shuddered, and Jayde pulled her close, understanding that Kaylie did still have some issues with the Dyre, courtesy of the previous year.

---

Stage 2 Camp

Hollenburg, 7-and-27 Sun

---

As the two trucks pulled into the new campsite and were parked for the night, the usual routine of putting all the lights out was started, even with the generator unit not on site yet. Once the light poles were up and the cords were run so no one would trip over them, it was time to start making food. From the back of one of the refrigerated trailers, Kayden grabbed a heavy pack of pork chops, while Takaraya removed their charcoal grill from the back of the Carry All.

“So,” Kaylie asked, “Who’s turn is it to run the grill?”

“That’d be Kasiya,” Kivenaal responded. Kasiya groaned and held up an armor-clad hand.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m cooking in this,” Kasiya shot back.

“It’s safe enough you can take the armor off,” Kaylie mentioned.

Kasiya growled and shook his head, before snatching the offered grilling tools out of Kivenaal’s hand. “Fine, but if I sacrifice half of these to the grilling gods-”

“You’ll do okay in that,” Takaraya said, cutting his son off. “It’s just powered armor, it’s an extension of you.”

[Elizipeazie]

Team VSmgAB & Team Shift Happens

Stage 0 Camp, The Range (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp, Nighttime Breaker Trip (VSmgAB + Shift Happens)
Stage 0 Camp; Can’t sleep (VSmgAB; Machinas Con Passione)
Stage 1 Drive (VSmgAB)
Stage 1 Drive (Shift Happens)
Stage 2 Drive/Camp (Shift Happens)

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Writer’s note: Other than a single relevant plot point during the drive to the second camp, nothing of note happens. Said event will be referenced below.

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Stage 2 Camp; Hollenburg Campsite

After 9 hours of less-than eventful running along Nehmenweld’s railways, the convoy of four cars pulls into the lot with a little more than half of the participating vehicles already present, among which Shift Happens.
As the camp lights were already set up, they carefully navigated the mess of poles and cables strewn across the place before, as always, parking up smack-dab in the middle of the teams already present.

Immediately afterwards, power was set up, made evident by the entire camp being flooded with nearly useless lighting, given that it was nowhere near dusk at this time.
Once that was done, all the teams present and also drawing power got their share of angry electrons.

Now that Valentin had some time outside of necessary duties, he procured a small stack of three binders, which he skimmed through while sat in the driver’s seat of Robert the second.

“Wait what?” he mumbles in disbelief while almost staring into one of the binders opened up across his lap. As he flipped through further, it was patently obvious that the contents of it were not some elaborate prank or something along those lines, which sent Valentin into a level of confusion as if it was written in 96px impact font across his forehead.
Checking the other two binders did not help at all, containing what amounts to the same thing with some details changed up.

Eventually, he climbs out of the heavily reclined seat, hauling the stack of binders over to Kaylie of Shift Happens, who, together with most of the remaining team, was busy cooking up lunch on a charcoal grill.

“Uhm… mind if we talk for a minute? I have… uhm… high-profile mail here…” Valentin asks while holding up the three binders.

Kaylie nodded, motioning to Val to sit down at the folding table in one of the larger, reinforced metal folding chairs. “Sure, Valentin. I was on standby in case Kasiya needed help with cooking, but,” Kaylie said, motioning in Kasiya’s direction as the power-armored werewolf casually flipped pork chops on the grill, only occasionally having to prod one into the spot he wanted it to be, “as you can see, he’s surprisingly good in that suit. And don’t worry, I think he’s gentler in the suit than outside of it.”

“I’m just aware of what the suit is capable of,” Kasiya admitted. “It’s why I’m not moving any more than I must do for the purpose of cooking.”

Kaylie chuckled. “Yeah, apparently, Kayden never got the memo about “don’t talk with your hands while in powered armor.” He still moves his hands around without realizing that one dramatic arm sweep might leave someone with a bloody nose. Anyway, you said you have some high-profile mail, and wanted to talk, so I’ll shut up and listen. If you and your crew are in the mood for pork chops off the grill, you’re welcome to share.”

With how mentally taxing the news within the binders was to Valentin, he managed to be completely oblivious to armored-up Kasiya until Kaylie mentioned it.
Even then, he was remarkably calm about it.

“Anyway…” he starts, plonking the set of binders onto the fold-up table, “simply put. Multiple companies over here apparently want me as chief engineer for their railroads. I haven’t read them in full… yet… but i am ostensibly a foreigner to everyone here…”

Kaylie gave a light smile, then replied, “Well, you did make a bit of a statement last year. I’m not entirely surprised that you’ve got companies being interested in you.”

Kasiya tried his best to ignore the personal conversation, knowing he wasn’t technically invited into it, and as a result, trying to listen in would be more-or-less deliberately eavesdropping. “Hey, Rukari, mind if I borrow your magnetic-tape playback unit?”

Rukari looked a bit confused, until Kaylie, with a smirk, said, “He’s asking to borrow your cassette player.”

“Oh. Yes, just be careful with it,” Rukari said, handing it to Kasiya. Kasiya unplugged Rukari’s earbuds and handed them back, plugging in his own set and starting the tape, only to immediately flinch and scramble for the volume wheel.

“If he starts going deaf,” Kasiya said, “get on his case about the loud music.” He attached the player to his left shoulder with a velcro strap, then returned to cooking, now that he could suitably block out the conversation around him.

“I have no idea if that statement is still true… regardless, i have no clue what to do with these, since i also do not fancy moving away from earth for an engineer job of unknown pay-grade and working conditions…” Valentin remarked, completely ignoring the request for the tape player, but still being polite enough to not talk over that conversation.

Kaylie thought for a moment, then said, “I can understand that thought-pattern.” She knocked on the side of the Home Unit, then said, “Jayde, Malavera, I need your input on something.”

Jayde arrived almost instantly, just pulling on a warm coat before sitting in one of the chairs. “Mal will be out here shortly, but he’ll be a bit grumpy,” Jayde warned.

Kaylie groaned. “One moment, Val,” she said, before getting up and walking into the Home Unit’s living area. When she returned with Malavera following, however, it was clear she was looking a bit embarrassed.

Malavera, on the other hand, gave a light smirk with one of his two heads as he joined the other two at the table. “Well, now that Kaylie’s seen more of me than she intended to,” he quipped, “we can figure out what was so important that I need to put my nap off for a few hours.”

Kaylie sighed. “How was I to know this fucker sleeps naked on top of the covers?” she muttered. “Anyway, Val has some companies looking at hiring him here in this world. He also has no plans to move here. Is there a possible way to bridge between here and Earth for Valentin, should he want to do this?”

Jayde nodded. “I can create a mirror-bridge between here and Earth. It’s… Not exactly easy, but I did learn how to do it. I’d be a bit tired after doing so, but a night of rest and some food, I’ll be fine,” Jayde admitted, trying his best to avoid mentioning the word magic around Valentin.

“Payment wouldn’t be too hard to make legal,” Malavera said. “I have the deed to a silver mine in Nevada. We could have an agent involved, who uses the coin of the realm to purchase silver, transport that to Earth, it gets sold as a product of my mine, and you then have United States Dollars. Logistically… I’d hire you as an independent contractor so I could pay you your wages. Obviously, taxes are going to take a fair chunk, but… Considering how much silver goes for at the moment, it’s reasonable.”

“Money here is backed in precious metals,” Jayde admitted. “For example,” he said, putting a Silver Syrkal on the table, “that is worth $36, in equivalent buying power. But here, it can be used to buy silver, which when transported to Earth, could be worth more than $36.”

“Alright i am not gonna question your habits of sleep…” Valentin blankly commented, involuntarily exercising the thought of imagining the Shift Happens crew asleep, but quickly collecting himself and listening to what they had to contribute.

“So… we set up one of those mirror portal things like what you came to earth through… use Malavera’s silver mine rights as a middleman for legal purposes on earth, thus tying actual wage to earthen silver prices… and… one moment.” Valentin said, thinking for a moment about the process that would be used,
“That also means that actual wage would theoretically be linked to earthen silver prices, though, right?”

Jayde gave an appreciative smile, then said, “A traveling mirror between your residence and your place of work, that’s easy enough to do. Malavera’s the mine-owner, so, he’s the authority there. But yes, buying local raw silver with local currency, then transporting that to Nevada, where the silver will be sold for US dollars, at which point, you’ll be paid.”

When Valentin asked if his wage would be linked to Earth’s silver prices, Malavera gave a light nod. “Yes. Though if what Kivenaal says is true, it’s in your favor that way, at least at the moment.”

Kivenaal sat up on the roof rack of the Home Unit, then admitted, “A Silver Syrkal is worth about $36 in buying power here, compared to 1920’s and 1930’s era dollars. The amount of silver purchased with that amount of money and brought to Earth, well… I get about three ounces per Silver Syrkal here, and then sell three ounces for about $20 per ounce.”

Malavera chuckled, then said, “As mentioned before, prices are in your favor, even though it’s not guaranteed to be stable.”

Jayde then mentioned, “As for influence on the markets, what we’re proposing to do shouldn’t make too much of a dent. It’s not like we’re dropping Kasiya’s weight in gold on the market. Silver’s fairly common.”

“Uhm… sure hope the silver market does not crash, then…” Valentin mumbled as he rearranged the binders on his desk, picking one seemingly at random to dig into.
Said binder was made of leader and had a very ornate Logo fabricated onto it. A string of text made it obvious that this specific one belonged to the Holsian State Railways.

“Wait… are we not in Nehmenweld? Am i getting international requests now?”, he mumbled mostly to himself, but still loud enough for the others at the table to hear.

He then started actually reading through the proposal…

Kivenaal chuckled. “If you’re concerned about crashing the silver market, I can purchase other valuable metals and sell those as well,” he admitted. “Silver is just one of the easier ones I can buy.”

When Val mentioned he had an international request, Jayde took a look at the binder just out of curiosity. “Yeah, that’s interesting,” Jayde admitted, before pulling out a map of the world from his bag. He rolled it out on the table and carefully traced his fingers over it, studying the map. “We’re here in Nehmenweld,” he said, running a hand over the huge southern continent of the world." He traced his hand across the middle of the map, stating, “Equator is here. Then, up here, this is Holsia. Unfortunately, that’s all I really know about them is where they are on a map. Never been there.”

“Neither have I,” Kivenaal admitted. “I’d ask Rukari, but…”

Rukari stuck his head out from behind the HD-GV Home Unit and admitted, “Never been to Holsia. Have seen it on sea charts, but never been there.”

Kivenaal leaned down over the side of the roof rack, trying to smack his brother’s head for the mild startle, only for Rukari to grab Kivenaal’s hand and pull. The end result was both Valraadii giving a pained grunt as Kivenaal landed on Rukari, knocking them both to the ground.

Jayde looked over at them, then said, “Well, that’s certainly a new one. What’d we learn?”

“Rukari’s mean, but not clever,” Kivenaal quipped.

“Kivenaal is heavy and lands with elbows on you,” Rukari groaned out, slowly sitting up after shoving his bigger brother off of him.

“Those two,” Malavera said in an off-hand comment, “will probably never change.”

Valentin was largely busy reading the proposal -or at least what seemed to be the most important parts- and also studying the map of Jayde when both Kivenaal and Rukari went to the ground.
Shaken, Valentin almost jumps up from the table:
“You okay?”, he inquires as a fall from about 4 meters cannot have been pleasant.

“We’re both okay,” Rukari said.

“I’ll feel that one later, but, yeah, I’m fine,” Kivenaal added.

Kayden had heard the sound of someone taking a bit of a tumble and wandered out of the Home Unit’s cab to see both Rukari and Kivenaal laying on the ground. “Right, did either of you break something?” Kayden asked.

Kivenaal groaned and pulled himself to his feet using Malavera’s shoulder, then said, “No, just sore.”

“My foot fell off,” Rukari grumbled, taking a few extra minutes to put his prosthetic foot back on the end of his right leg before he stood up and settled at the table.

Kasiya, still mostly oblivious to the conversations going on, finally set a plate of pork chops down on the table in a clear spot, grabbing a couple of buns and a couple pork chops to fill them with as he settled down next to the end of the table, still able to use it like everyone else.

“Hey, Takaraya, food’s ready,” Kaylie called out. Takaraya, as a result, climbed out of the back of the Home Unit, settling at the table in one of the reinforced folding chairs.

“I am going to dig through these proposals for a bit…” Valentin commented as he returned to his seat between binders, a map and now a plate of porkchop sandwiches.

A while of reading follows until Valentin closes that binder up again.
“They are apparently offering about 11 million of their currency per year, plus a further 110 thousand for each engine built with my blueprints…” Valentin commented, having no idea how much money that actually would translate to, made worse by the ring of common languages apparently not translating the name of the currency in question.

He then quickly skims the other two binders for the proposed wages.
“The Queensdale Southern Central apparently offers 920 golden Syrkals… aaand…”
he pauses, flipping through the third binder,
“The *Northern and Mountain Transportation proposes 830 golden Syrkals, plus 1400 Syrkals for each design that enters production. What they mean by ‘entering production’ is inconclusive though…”

From Malavera’s wrist-watch, a dark holographic figure appeared, wearing a very-much military uniform, down to the fact that he was processing it in green color. “I may have an answer for part of your questions. By “entering production,” what they are referring to is, and I quote, “Any engine that is produced with the intent of usage in revenue-earning service. Engines built for testing or research purposes are not considered part of being in series production. Production runs of fewer than 25 copies are considered invalid for the purposes of this contract.” So, to summarize, any locomotive assembled in 25 or more units, built for railroad service, will count toward that bonus.”

Malavera looked over at Val, then said, “Well, you just met Hunter.”

Nova piped up from Kayden’s pocket, “Well, that was a dusty archive crawl that got me nowhere. Not one reference in my currency database to Holsia.”

Layara, choosing to appear holographically on the table at one-foot-tall, gave a polite bow in Val’s direction before admitting, “It appears that my archives are incomplete. I have no record of Holsia in my internal archive. However,” Layara paused for a moment, before continuing, “The HD-GV units have an onboard mainframe. It is possible that there could be data in there that I do not have remote access to. I can get Kasiya to go check the archives, though I make no promises that we’ll find anything in there.”

Suddenly meeting two new AI personalities, especially in visual form appearing in two very different places proved to be somewhat overwhelming to Valentin. Nova speaking from within Kayden’s pocket fueled this further.

“Uhhh… sure.” he stammers, not really knowing what he actually agreed to while his gaze darted back and forth between Malavera, Layara and Hunter in an attempt to match voice to ‘face’.

“One moment while I attempt to get Kasiya’s attention, then,” Layara said. She then turned to Rukari and asked, “Can you please turn off the cassette playback device?”

Rukari nodded, before pulling out his own set of earbuds and motioning to Kasiya that he wanted the player back. Kasiya nodded, stopping the tape, disconnecting his own set of earbuds, and handing the portable player back over. As soon as Kasiya had put his own earbuds back away, Layara looked to him and said, “I need you to check the HD-GV archives for Valentin.”

Kasiya shrugged, then got up and opened the rear cab door to the Home Unit, as it was the closer of the two vehicles to the table. His fingers, even in power armor, flew over the keyboard, logging in and opening the archive search function. “Okay, archives are open. What’s the search query?” Kasiya asked.

Layara responded, “Aetherii, Currency, country of origin, Holsia.”

Kasiya typed in the keywords, then hit the enter key with his right thumb. “Mainframe is now searching the archives on both the Home Unit and the Carry All,” Kasiya mentioned.

Then, after two agonizingly long minutes, the screen displayed an annoying result. “No information available,” Kasiya said. “It checked both trucks, there’s nothing.”

“Looks like this has to wait for a bit, then… might as well ask around for conversion rates if and when the time comes…” Valentin relented, closing up the slew of paperwork strewn across the table, even going as far as folding up Jayde’s map, which took a few attempts to figure out the folding pattern.

“Mind if i nick a porkchop for the way back to Robert?”, he inquires once everything was packed up.

Kasiya locked the computer, then dropped back down out of the cab of the truck, for the briefest of moments forgetting about his added weight as he rattled the dishes on the table. “Sorry. Forgot that I’m close to 1600 kilograms in this for a moment,” Kasiya admitted a bit sheepishly.

When Val asked if he could grab a porkchop to take back, Kasiya, however, smiled. “Take as many for yourself and Norse as the two of you will eat. We always end up making a little extra because what isn’t eaten today becomes breakfast tomorrow, and worst case scenario, we rely a little on Jayde’s bag of surprises.”

“Hey, I don’t have a carton of eggs in my bag this time, so don’t get any ideas. We brought a refrigerated cube for a reason,” Jayde admitted. “Thank you, Valentin, by the way,” he said, tucking his map into the front pouch on his bag.

As Val scooped up two more sandwiches and wandered over toward Robert, the rest of the crew started seriously digging into the sandwiches.