Shitbox Rally 2023 - Stage 14 (FINISHED!)

Stage 11:

Gasstop to Lastgas


Temp. @ Mid-day: 39°C (Hottest stage)

Night-time Low: 27°C

Weather: What has been a drizzle in the morning becomes a torrential downpour for most of the day and well into the evening. Near-absolute humidity and very little wind add to the strain due to the high temperatures.


Camp Challenge: “Agh! Fuck! Snakes!” (Do NOT have a roof rack.)


As we leave the little pit-stop village, our road becomes somewhat more obvious. What was called the “Jungle Highway” on the map also included this lovely little stretch through the Jilbuur Rainforest.

We’re pretty much stuck doing 30 MPH / 50 km/h through here because while there IS a road, it’s almost as well-maintained as the Stage 8 dirt stage, except that it actually is ‘paved’. If you can consider a road that is more pothole than asphalt in area ‘paved’, that is… At times, the road seems barely wide enough to drive two cars on, and at other times, we’re snaking around trees, courtesy of a “road planner” who tried to avoid damaging the jungle he had to put a road through.

If those reasons weren’t enough to make you slow down, however, some of the wildlife probably would. While it was raining, some people heard a heavy thump on the roof and then usually “discovered” the tree snake as it tried to escape from the comparably cold and wet metal “tree” it landed on. Others saw jaguars stalking the forest, but they were jaguars the size of small lions. Worth a crash in this?

After 250 miles of rainforest driving, with an end-cap of 2.5 miles of slightly-less-shitty gravel road at either end for a total distance of 255 miles, we roll into the equally small village of “Lastgas.”

Like the counterpart on the other side, Lastgas is the “last gas stop” before heading through the rainforest. Another 1500-or-so pop-up village performing basic services for travelers, offering food, fuel, and a campground (the outskirts of town, wherever we can find space) to rest up in. For the same reasons as Gasstop, they have a small freight line that is used to deliver fuel tankers, which does technically connect to Gasstop through the rainforest as well… On an equally “well-maintained” bit of rail.


Next Stage Expected Conditions:

Road Speed: high
Road Condition: good
Traffic: low
Police: very Low


Results Here: SR2023 Stage 11 - Google Drive


@Madrias

Team Shift Happens

HD-GV Carry All - No Roof Rack
HD-GV Home Unit - No Roof Rack

It’s a relatively slow drive with both of the giant trucks, especially with Kasiya still hauling double trailers. Thankfully, the vehicles designed to drive through a war zone could handle “a few” potholes. Even the couple of full-blown “road craters” didn’t slow either one down.


@Elizipeazie:

VS Mobil Generator AB

Robert - No roof rack
Regina/Rainer/Ramona - No roof racks here, either.

Other than having a couple of really good scares when they encountered some rough track, it was a relatively uneventful train ride.


@UnderlovedGhost

Team M.A.D.

Walkenhorst UtilXL - No Roof Rack
Sakura Citrine - No Roof Rack

It was slow going, but soon the two cars were out of the rainforest and away from the local wildlife. At least, for making a documentary, the animals made for good footage.


@Shibusu

Team Sinesian Rejects

Ilaris Imbe Sport - No Roof Rack

Everyone thought it’d be the ping-o-matic under the hood that’d give up in this hellish heat. Instead, it was crashing through a full-blown road crater that crumpled the front suspension up like a beer can. Unfucking the suspension took a long time, made to feel even longer when they realized they were being watched by some rather large jaguars.


@Interior

Team Not-So-Slow

Schnell L30 - No Roof Rack

The beat-to-hell luxury car manages to make another long stage look easy.


@TheYugo45GV

The Ambassadors

IVERA Executive - No Roof Rack
Mayland Ambassador - No Roof Rack

It’s another long, slow drive for both halves of the team. The trip is made a little more nerve wracking courtesy of the large jaguars roaming around.


@Doot

The Knockouts

1325 Facelift - No Roof Rack

Kate breezes through this stage, deftly avoiding holes in the road like she (usually) dodges cops. Octavia, on the other hand, discovered her new “passenger” in camp, a heavy-bodied snake resting up in the roof rack and cargo.


@MrdjaNikolen

Team Mravolinski-Chitco

Saguaro T-REE - No Roof Rack
Kontir Cunningham - No Roof Rack

It’s slow progress today. On the plus side, at least you don’t have to worry too much about the local wildlife.


@Jaimz68

Team HETS

Franklin HiWay - No Roof Rack
FM VanGo - No Roof Rack

It’s safe to say the old ladies are enjoying the scenic jungle tour.


@AMuteCrypt

Team Flaming Gallahs

Priscilla II - No Roof Rack

Slow but steady wins the race. Or at least, doesn’t wreck the bus.


@Edsel

Team Friendship! :smiley:

Bazard E-Series - No Roof Rack

At least the “giant cats” weren’t as scary for the sentient cars, right up until it was pointed out that some of them were big enough to shove around Freddie.


@Knugcab

Team Hillbilly Rollers

IP Rugger - No Roof Rack
Sanju Wolverine - No Roof Rack

Sure, it’s called a serpentine belt, but a live serpent makes a poor belt replacement. A snake got caught between a belt and a pulley, broke the belt, got wrapped up in the pulley, and spun around, making both a disastrous mess under the hood of the Rugger, and breaking the cooling fan.


@Odyssey_Fan

Team Sane Insanity

KKR S2 - No Roof Rack
Roadmaster Voyage - No Roof Rack

It’s relatively trouble free today, other than a big snake landing right smack in the middle of the Roadmaster’s windshield. Attempting to use the windshield wipers to remove the snake worked… But at the cost of burning out the fuse.


@PortalKat42

Faolan Industries

Aether 52H - No Roof Rack
Aether 11/2 - No Roof Rack

Things were going well until a small leak was noticed in the Aether 11/2’s suspension. Remembering what happened the last time when the suspension completely failed, the decision was made to patch it as much as they could. Turns out, a fairly good fix could be made in nearly 3 hours.


@AndiD

Team Taciturn

Mara Irena - No Roof Rack

The aliens got to look at some wildlife from the safety of their relatively trouble-free Mara, as well as some rather pleasant scenery.


@BannedByAndroid

Team ReUnity

The second to arrive in camp, the Ursula had some… Unwanted baggage. Wrestling several live tree snakes out of the roof rack was not fun.


@SheikhMansour

Team Spy Kids

Reekayns B210 - No Roof Rack
Mocabey Pioneer - No Roof Rack

The Reekayns was doing well until it hit a pothole, then bounced off of a tree, and finally ended up with a very large cat laying on the hood to get some sleep. The Mocabey had less issues and made it to camp first, getting to watch the fun as people with roof racks turned up with snakes onboard.


@IDK158

Team J3

Tiharris Summer - No Roof Rack
Rhien Willow - No Roof Rack

Changing tires on the Tiharris would have been a routine situation if the jaguars hadn’t decided your tires looked like the perfect thing to play with. It took a surprisingly long time to find where the big cats took the spare tire.


@JCurtiss96 & @Leone

Team Aeromad

Torrento Providence II - No Roof Rack

The Torrento hits a road crater and pit-maneuvers the Juggernaut into the tree line. After a long while of maneuvering back and forth to get back onto the road, they make it to camp, where the process of removing snakes from the Juggernaut’s cargo area begins.


@Tzuyu_main & @FallingComet

Team Black Rabbit Disavowed

Dauer 836RS - No Roof Rack

It’s a trouble free trip into camp for these two vehicles… The trouble starts when you park up. On the bed of the Seikatsu is one big snake.


@Texaslav

Sheriff Scott’s Posse

Warren Warlock - No Roof Rack
Bowie Bearcat - No Roof Rack

A road-crater jolts the Warlock hard enough to shut down the engine, damage the front and rear suspension, and bend a steering tie-rod. Luckily, they crashed close enough to camp to just drag the car with the other car into camp and fix it there.


@Xepy

Team “486”

A whole lot of angry snakes accompanied the two Kaufmanns into camp. Sure, you got fourth place… But you may have taken first place for the amount of snakes dragged in.


@S_U_C_C_U_L_E_N_T

Team Magdelena

A flat tire on the Baumhauer turned into an ordeal when the decision was made, mid tire change, to extract the unwanted passengers from your vehicle. It didn’t really help, as when they rejoined with the Hinode in camp… Both vehicles had snakes to remove.


@SurrealCereal

Team Machinas Con Passione

Blue Wonder - No Roof Rack
Faenza Spirito - No Roof Rack

It’s hard to change tires on the Blue Wonder in this heat. Especially considering one team member’s openly admitted dislike of cats. Several large jaguars prowled around while the tires were changed… On the bright side, at least it wasn’t snakes.


@GetWrekt01 & @That-S-Cop

Cunning Stunts

VHT Supermobile - No Roof Rack
Contra UTE - No Roof Rack

The heat causes the Contra to overheat. Thankfully, the great hissing steam dragon under the hood keeps all the cats away.


@EnCR

Team Till D End

JMX Linx - No Roof Rack
Avantii Trailduster - No Roof Rack

A trouble-free run in both vehicles, with only the minor downside of collecting a snake on the Trailduster’s hood, where it rested there, enjoying the warmth for most of the trip.


@LS_Swapped_RX-7

Basedworks

Apparently the snakes really liked the edgy team, because they had snakes everywhere in their cargo. This was made worse by finding out that someone left a window open in the camper, and now there were a fair few snakes in the sleeping area.


@Mikonp7

Team Gunship

Open cockpit seemed like such a great idea until you found out that driving a car while live snakes fall on you isn’t an easy task. Sure, at first, it was as simple as scooping up the slithering serpent and hurling it overboard. Then it practically started raining snakes. By the time you made it to camp, there were a lot of snakes in the car, on the car, and falling out of the car.


@Ldub0775

4 Dicks in a Truck

Centurion 9000 - No Roof Rack

The four dicks in a truck at least agree, “Dicks in a Truck” is better than “Snakes on a Plane,” and they’d rather have “snakes on a plane” than “Snakes in our Truck.”

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