TEAM HILLBILLY ROLLERS
PART 5.1 - A FIRE, A COMPUTER MELTDOWN AND A TIN CAN
Already when leaving Mosoto for the trip to Lauda, the IP was showing some trouble, being very hard to start.
“It’s rather hot, maybe I gave it too much choke”, Andreas said, pushed the knob into the dash and floored the accelerator, with no luck in cranking it.
“Eh…maybe I did not give it ENOUGH choke?”, he thought, pulled it out again, it woke to life, but sputtered along, barely managing to stay running by some sensible fiddling with the throttle and choke. It ran like shit…well, until it stopped running.
“Considering that fiddling with the choke and throttle seemed to help, I guess it is fuel related and not ignition”, Andreas said.
“Yeah… maybe rust in the tank or something, considering for how long it has been standing still. Well, then it is probably stuck in the fuel filter, good thing I was prepared and have some extras with me…”, Janne mumbled, while unscrewing the fuel filter and taking notice that there was…very filthy water running out of it.
“HOW THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN?”, Janne said, scratching his head.
“Looks like if there is half a mud creek in the tank, why is all of this coming now?”, Andreas answered, equally confused.
The gold Primus was passing, with Chanty making an even weirder face than…her usual one…against the team.
“Stupid kid!”, Marie said. “Oh well, good news, they won’t get far!”
“Wait, what?”, Janne asked and seemed really curious.
“I put gallons of filthy water into their fuel tank yesterday”
“YOU DID….YOU DID WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO SAY THAT YOU DID DO YOU…YOU…RAHHHHHH!!!”, Janne said and lost his temper for once. “ARE YOU REALLY SURE THAT YOU PICKED THE RIGHT FUEL TANK?”
“No. EHM I MEAN VERY MUCH YES, I AM TOTALLY…no…OH YES I AM TOTALLY SURE!”, Marie said, in a tone that would not have convinced a 4 year old.
“YOU STUPID FUCK, YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO LIE SO WHO THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING YOU ARE GOING TO FOOL, YOU FUCKING DRUNKARD! I AM TOTALLY SURE YOU DID PICK THE WRONG FUEL TANK, THAT’S IT, NO MORE BEER UNTIL YOU…”
“Oh, relax, I can fix it”, Marie said.
“YOU CAN’T FIX A FLASHLIGHT WITH A BAD PAIR OF BATTERIES!”, Janne answered. “THAT REQUIRES AT LEAST ONE INTACT BRAIN CELL, WHICH YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE!”
Marie, somehow getting grumpy said that she had enough, grabbed the jack, lifted the car up, and drained the fuel tank into a couple of empty canisters in record time.
“FINE, I HAVE FIXED YOUR GODDAMNED CAR IN SHORTER TIME THAN IT TAKES YOU TO OPEN THE FUCKING GAS CAP, CAN YOU STOP NAGGING NOW YOU…”
Everything was interrupted by Marie falling with the canister into the ditch, somehow pouring out all the gasoline into the ditch again.
“Well, this was probably not what they meant with “leave no traces”", Andreas said.
“Oh well, accidents do happen”, Janne answered.
“I am getting tired of this”, Marie said. “I need a break from the two of you”
“Hey, where the fuck are you going?”, Andreas said.
“I just need to have a smoke all by myself to calm down a bit, five minutes, OK?”
“HEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU THROWING THAT MATCH?”, Andreas said in panic when Marie had lit her cigarette up, only to see the ditch engulfed in flames.
“STUPID CLUSTERFUCK, CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING WITHOUT CAUSING A DISASTER?”, Andreas said, now as furious as Janne, running for the fire extinguisher, but emptying it quickly.
At least the area saturated with gasoline was taken out, and the only thing remaining was burning grass. Janne managed to find a pond nearby and after some running back and forth with buckets of water, they managed to finally put out the fire, but still stayed for a while to be somewhat sure that it wouldn’t light up again. Finally, after filling up the tank with some fresh gasoline, changing out the fuel filter, they sputtered away for the rest of the trip. Needless to say, there was a kind of ice cold atmosphere in the butter-stinking cabin of the IP.
Arriving at the unusually fancy camp, Marie declared how tired she was of all drama and that she needed a drink at the bar (or two or twentyfive).
“YEAH BECAUSE YOU ARE CLEARLY INNOCENT WHEN IT COMES TO THIS DRAMA!”, Andreas said, still being upset, while Janne had calmed down. “Go watch her or I’ll tie her to someone’s roof rack tomorrow, for fucks sake”, Andreas said to Janne. “I am staying at our room and I will do it for the rest of tonight”, he continued, almost showing signs of regretting this whole idea.
Then, this little interlude happened.
Thomas and Janne went into the IP, and when Janne tried to turn the computer on, a smell of burnt plastics and electronics was spreading inside.
“Oh for fucks sake…”, he said. “…this is NOT good.”
“Wait…What? What is happening? Did we break something?”, Thomas said a bit anxious.
“I think so. Or rather, Marie broke something with forcing the connector to the tape player into the port upside down”. Janne started taking the computer apart and discovered some nasty stuff.
“Eugh…. This is a goner”, Janne said, shaking his head, looking at the burned motherboard.
“You mean…you can’t repair it?”, Thomas said, starting to lose his hope. “I…. I had so hoped to solve this problem with Chanty after all. She is wrecking my nerves with all her drama, and…”
“Are you trying to say that there is something I can’t repair?”, Janne answered in a grumpy tone. “Of course I can, but I would prefer to not have to do it with vacuum tubes or whatever exists in this world…”
Thomas looked unusually worried and sighed as if he had lost all his hope. All the strength was kind of running off him. “Is there really nothing we can do…”. It was obvious that his kryptonite now was Chanty’s well being.
“I’ll cook something up. Just leave me alone for a while…”, Janne said to Thomas that now was looking kind of doubtful, but respected his will.
A while later, Janne came to Thomas with a bag of salt, and a tin can that had contained sausages in baked beans from the Swedish military, but now was brazed together.
“Eh, what am I going to do with this ju…I mean stuff?”, Thomas asked.
“Well, this can is loaded with some very powerful stuff”, Janne said. “In case she keeps it close to her when she is asleep, she will be able to communicate with her mother in her dreams. But you have to tell her that. Having this power without the knowledge can cause really nasty situations, you know!”
“So that hocus pocus is supposed to wo…I mean, of course, yes, I promise”, Thomas said. “But the salt?”
“Well, in case she has any wounds she has to rub them with this first, because otherwise bad entities can enter through the wounds and take her into possession, so it has to be done very carefully!”.
“I understand…”, Thomas said, with a face that was turning into a mix of fear, curiosity, regret that he had even mentioned anything to Janne, and hope that Chanty would be able to communicate with his mother again. “…but tell me, what is it really in that can?”, Thomas asked.
Janne looked genuinely worried. “Oh, you really are not supposed to tell that. That may cause…nasty things to happen. And by all means, do NOT try to open the can up again. Like ever again. THAT….will get you into trouble!”.
Thomas, not knowing what he should think, still respected Janne since he seemed to know what he was talking about, took the can, thanked him for it and was looking for where Chanty went, to be able to show her the magic jar.
When getting back to the hotel room, Andreas asked Janne in a salty tone if he wasn’t supposed to look after Marie.
“Do you think earthquakes in Tokyo stops happening just because people are looking after them?”, Janne answered back.
“True. What have you been doing?”
“Oh, I just made a magic can for Thomas”, Janne said.
“ARE YOU TRYING TO GET PEOPLE INTO YOUR OCCULT STUFF NOW? I AM SO TIRED ABOUT THAT! UP UNTIL THE FIRST SHITBOX RALLY I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIND OF NORMAL! WHAT IS IT EVEN IN THAT CAN?”
“Some gravel… A couple of old spark plugs… Marie’s sweaty old sock…”
“And how is that supposed to help?”, Andreas said with a sigh.
“The thing is, it doesn’t. Damn, coming to ask me to do occult stuff. People watch too much TV! They think that it is just to pull something off in 5 minutes that makes wonders! The only thing that makes wonders in such a short time is the power of your mind, that is stronger than anything, and I am pretty sure the power of Chanty’s mind will overcome her trouble now…but she can’t see it until I have given her a fucking jar full of old crap”, Janne said and shook his head.
It all was interrupted by someone knocking on the door. “I think I forgot to lock it, just come in”, Janne said. Someone opened the door, said “I think this one is yours!” and with the help of a couple others, threw in Marie and closed the door quickly before Janne had the time to react.
“…hyuuuurggghhhh……”, Marie said.
“This feels way to familiar…”, Andreas said while looking at Marie lying on the floor.
TO BE CONTINUED…