Shitbox Rally 2024 - Journey to Holsia (Entries Closed)

Shitbox Rally - Stage 7

Stage 7: Björnes to Drur

Weather: Mid 20’s, some clouds, low but gusty winds.

A well-built and wide road carries everyone at a decent pace on the shockingly-flat first half of the trip. The second half has some hills in it, but nothing so awful that it would be a problem.

For Transporttjäns Eriksson Aktiebolag Eslöv, it’s a rough day. 3.5 hours lost to changing the failed water pump that was missed yesterday.

Rhino Squad bursts a tire early on in the stage. The Spy Kids manage to pop a tire as well to keep them company.
(@HappyHungryHippo, @SheikhMansour)

Team Hillbilly Rollers spent a couple hours on the side of the road trying to find some mercy bush quills to get rid of the horrible smell in the van. After a few hours of looking around, but finding nothing except some normal-smelling flowers, they’re back on the move.

Straight Outta Seratos has a similar problem to TEAE, losing 5 hours in total. 3.5 hours to the water pump replacement… And the other 1.5 hours moving cargo around to access the engine.

Machinas Con Passione spends an hour “fixing” a misfire by wrapping all of the spark plug wires in electrical tape. It doesn’t work, but Giacomo swears it’s made a difference.

Drur itself is a sizable town of roughly 43,000 people with a great view of the ocean. The hillside location is a callback to the medieval origins of the town, offering an excellent defense from archers and invaders long ago. The center of town holds a lot of older buildings and architecture, slowly getting more modern the further out you go. If you need common goods, you shouldn’t have any problem finding them here.

Our camp, however, is not in the town. The support train is parked on a spur in a nearby yard, normally used for rolling stock for the main station in Drur. Our camp is just off to the side, in a nice grassy clearing perfect for pitching tents. Unfortunately, there are no services in the camp, but it’s a short few minute walk to some actual toilets used by the staff and crews at the yard.

Spreadsheet is here: SR2024 Stage Results - Google Drive


Stage 7.1 - The BetterWheel

teams included: Highway Hooligans by @Madrias, Firulais by @Angelustyle (only mentioned) and Fuist by @Djadania

The night was free of interruptions, and Chanty started her day with a morning cigarette, while Thomas complained about back pain - he definitely preferred the hotel bed from the previous night.

At the same time, after having a session on the men´s toilet in the office building of the adjacent plant, Jan met Jake Storm, who was about to do what Jan just finished.

“Jan, do you have a minute?”

“Sure… what is it?”

“Do you remember me, too?”

“Yes, last year´s 24h in Sweden. You are… eh, I have a 33 percent chance to get this right now.”

“Jake, yes. And last year is exactly the point. Chantal looks quite banged up…”

“Sadly, that´s normal for her. She´s great at getting into trouble. We even can´t go bowling without her injuring herself. But it´s nothing serious, looks worse than it is.”

“Not only physically… I mean, she gained at least 10 kilos since then, and … well, she was more a shy one in Sweden, and also cried a bit there, too, but she´s totally exalted here.”

“I know what you mean, but you can believe me that I try everything to…”

“JAN! THAT WAS NOT AN ACCUSATION! But something must have happened since then, and I am just worried. Wasn´t that mindreader with you yesterday?”

“Yes… well, I wish he wasn´t, not that I don´t like him, his incidents are just bad for himself and also for Chanty who suffers a lot from causing Angel that pain. Yesterday it seems he read the whole mind at once.”

“Yes, I noticed that Angel is … very much down today. But, do you have a clue why Chantal´s state became worse after Sweden?”

“No, I mean, there was a lot happening. She bonded with an elk she had to leave… well, she even cries about throwing away a plush toy. But her first car was destroyed, and we had a DNF, that was hard to swallow. Not to forget Thomas was almost dying and I broke my foot in a serious crash. I guess all at once was too much for her, so Thomas and me were against competing here, but… well, she begged so much for it that we registrated.”

“How about asking Angel what he saw, he maybe knows what it is?”

“Are you sure? I guess dealing again with what he saw isn´t pleasant.”

“Jan, it is well visible that Angel really loves Chanty, not what you think, but…”

“Yes, we figured it out which relation they have, don´t worry. I think he sees her as his little sister.”

“So, Jan, if Chantal was your little sister and in need of help, wouldn´t you grab a rose with thorns for that?”

The time that passed until their departure was not eventful, in fact, it was almost boring this time. Chanty insisted on driving again, and nobody wanted to talk her out of it in order to keep her happy. She raced off with quite a pace, soon making her teammates look for the grab handles. Jan felt extremely uncomfortable, and as you should do when you are not sure if to panic or not, you look for the staff, and Jan decided to look towards Thomas, who nervously played with some buttons and had put his seat upright, as if he prepared for an emergency…

“Baby, are you sure that you are in the mood to drive?”

“SURE! Does that look like I am not motivated?”

“That´s not the point, eeh, your father is rarely scared in cars but he doesn´t look too happy…”

“It´s just his back pain, RIGHT DADDY?”

“I think if you continue driving like this my back pain transforms in no pain at all up there in heaven.”

Just in that moment, a tire popped, causing the car to spin. Even Thomas was scared at that speed, and somehow Chanty prevented them from ending in the ditch, not really getting how she managed to do that.

“That was… impressive. Well done.”


Chanty froze in her position, and tears started to pour down her cheeks. Another panic attack was about to happen, and it had to be avoided at all cost, if it was not too late for that already. Thomas looked to Jan, who also froze in his position, holding up the roof handle of the car that he ripped off.

Thomas was the first to react, addressing Chanty in order to distract her from getting one of her panic attacks.

“Let´s get out of here. Damn, I need a smoke. Chanty, you join me?”

“Y…e…s… do you have a cigarette for me?”

After getting out of the vehicle, Thomas opened the boot, already ready to complain again.


“It… isn´t.”

“What do you mean, Chanty? The spare wheels of these cars are below the trunk space, not on the underbody of the vehicle like some other brands.”

“I don´t mean that.”


“I… felt a subwoofer would be of better use in that spot.”

“So that means we have no spare tire?”

“No…I mean… yes. We don´t.”


“But… now you can listen to your favourite music even louder… when calling a towtruck…”


Thomas yelled a bit too harsh at his daughter that sat down and started crying, and a very pissed Jan took over and comforted her. Just in that moment, the Team Fuist stopped.

“Are you in need of help?”

“Actually yes, I need a spare tire fitting on my car, I have 5x115…”

“Eww, that´s a weird one. I am afraid our spare doesn´t fit. But, I have some tirefit and a compressor, if you need one…it is from betterDeals, so please do not expect too much of it…”

“Thanks, the tire damage isn´t too extensive, I think… I can repair it. Who are you, by the way, I am Thomas.”

“Louis. And that is Marceline. I think we haven´t met yet.”

“The slenderman there is Jan, my daughter´s boyfriend, and that smurf is Chantal, …”

“Your daughter?”


“I think that´s the hungry one from yesterday. That fight looked nasty.”

Louis laughed a bit.

“Eww, it would be better not to tell her that´s your first thought when you see her. She is a bit sensitive.”

“I can see and hear that… damn, looks like she´s really not well right now. I guess anyone with blue hair is sensitive, because you just don´t dye your hair like that without serious psychological problems”

, answered Marceline.

“That´s a stereotype, come on, I know you didn´t mean it offensive but it actually is, so don´t ruin our first impression here.”

“Don´t worry, your first impression was giving us stuff to fix the tire, so…”,

said Thomas, already fiddling with the tirefit, while Jan slowly managed to stop Chanty from crying. She considered herself stable enough for driving when Thomas told his teammates that the tire is fixed, and she made use of the subwoofer, as Marceline passed Chanty a proper adapter for the Aux jack.

“ARGH. THAT IS NOT MUSIC, THAT IS NOISE. A very unpleasant one. And why does it just repeat the same stupid line over and over?”

“Daddy, THIS IS ART! It´s a queer-friendly band, and the text is addressing the toxic boomer mentality.”

“So I have to feel… adressed?”

“Nah, you are cool. Unlike uncle Wolfgang.”

“My brother is a bit… difficult, yes, but… that´s normal in families that they have difficult relatives.”

“Dad. This “come on, it is not that bad, get along with it” is exactly this boomer attitude destroying the mental health of us young people.”


, and it was really rare that Jan exploded, as he was otherwise the calm one of the trio, so Chanty returned her attention to the road and Thomas was pretending that he was enjoying the landscape.




Surprisingly enough, the trip to Björnes, as well as setting up the camp there, had been very undramatic. Well, except for Marie complaining that she didn’t want to get to some childish piece of shit town (finally convinced by Janne and Andreas that it had absolutely nothing to do with the Swedish childrens TV show “Björnes Magasin” from the 80s), Marie stealing beer and…well, if someone saw the “semi public shower experience” that Janne and Andreas forced Marie into, that could be a sort of drama in itself.

However, in the rather warm environment, the butter Chanty once put in the heating system of the IP was now really starting to smell like shit.

“RAHHHH I CAN’T STAND THIS ANYMORE!”, Marie said after some miles.

“Driving with the sunroof and windows open won’t do shit anymore”, Andreas said. “Damn, and no recirculation either, becausee…well, the 70s.”

“You know how they made these cars?”, Janne said. “First, the heater core was coming down the production line, and then they assembled a car around it. I refuse to disassemble half of the interior to get to this!”

“So, we’re going to smell this shit getting worse and worse for every day?”, Andreas asked. “You can forget about that!”

“Nah…I guess I have a better idea. Do you remember the mercy bush?”, Janne said.

“Yes, and I remember I could hardly drive because of that smell…”

“M-hm. But we have a smell now that makes it hard to drive, too!”, Janne answered. “If you have to drive at half throttle in first gear, then be it. I mean, it has probably cleansed the car by tomorrow. And what we don’t tell Shift Happens won’t bother them.”

“Yeah”, Andreas said. “But we have to be really sneaky then”.

After walking and walking through the scenery in heat that our friends weren’t used to, for some miles, no mercy bush was to be found.

“This smells…boring. And this… And this…”, Janne said while sniffing every plant at the side of the road, in search of a replacement.


“This smells…gross”, Marie said, finding….something at the side of the road.

“What smells gross?”, Andreas asked, while Marie got some new ideas about pranking Chanty.

“Oh, just some…dirty water in the ditch”, she said, taking a plastic bag she had forgotten in her pocket somehow, to wrap around her….discovery. A half eaten stray cat that some larger predator probably had taken, just to be scared away by some even larger predator, or whatever had happened.

“Nah, there is nothing to find here, let’s go back to the car”, Janne said.

Somehow, Marie carrying the plastic bag went on unnoticed walking behind Janne and Andreas. She threw it into the rear of the van, and the gross butter smell in the passenger compartment somehow managed to hide the gross dead cat smell in the cargo area. Dizzy from the stench, our friends arrived at camp, as one of the last teams.

“OK, I have no choice, I’ll have to disassemble this shit and clean it up!”, Janne said, immediately starting to take out the dashboard of the IP.

Meanwhile, Marie noticed the gold Primus left unsupervised for some reason. She left the plastic bag with the half eaten cat inside on the hood, and left a little note taped to the plastic bag.

Totally undiscovered by Janne and Andreas that was very busy with arguing if that wiring, that cable, that screw was necessary to loosen to be able to get the heater core out of the IP.



Stage 7.2 - Sport, mean pranks and an adventure

teams included: Firulais by @Angelustyle, GECA by @Elizipeazie, Hillbilly Rollers by @Knugcab, Chitko by @MrdjaNikolen and Highway Hooligans by @Madrias

The Rhinos arrived with a surprisingly competetive result, thanks to Chantys maniac driving.

“I can´t believe it, we made it here alive!”

“You can believe on sundays, Jan. I didn´t know you were religious. Knowing is better than believing, and I know that we are lucky to be alive. Chantal, could you please… CHANTAAAAAAAAAAAAL!!!”


“Turn down the volume and stop trying to kill everyone, we are there. We are even well in the top 10 despite the time we lost. Damn.”


“Not Slay?”

“That also!”

While Thomas and Jan built up the tent, with Thomas having his usual temper at that task, Chanty started cooking, and when the Firulais arrived much later, Jan excused himself, but also had a feeling of hunger - and ate with his team before leaving.

Jan stepped towards the Firulais camp after eating, but Angel, who he wanted to speak was no longer present. Andrés was the only one at the campsite, and Jan tried is luck. Josué was also there, but at that time in the tent, relaxing and reading a bit.

“Eh, Andrés, where is Angel`”

“Propably reading the minds of the Cunning Stunts team.”

, laughed Andrés.

“Shit. I really need to talk to him.”

“He isn´t trying to date Chantal, it´s just…”

“Yeah, I know, it´s not that. But … I need to know what he read in her mind. She never tells me how bad it really is, because she doesn´t want to make me sad or worried.”

“Oh, in this case… Angel talked a bit about it to vent, because he couldn´t stand the pain Chantys mind caused him, don´t be mad at him, he really needed to vent a bit. But I am not your hairdresser, so I can´t just expose Angel and your girlfriend that much.”

“I am not mad… but I am curious. I just see Chanty destroying herself more and more, and last night, she was again crying and woke me up by desperately grabbing my hand while whispering for help.”

“In this case… it would be Angels will to help you, and… well, her actually. So, listen.”

Andrés told Jan more or less everything Angel revealed, and even if Jan knew that Chantal didn´t always had an easy life, it was new to him that Chanty can´t be happy about positive moments, as she assumes that after these are over, they will never come back, and that everything she loves can also be lost sooner or later. And also that Thomas health is a huge concern. When Angel told Jan what Chanty had planned in her mind in case her father dies, Jan just ran away in panic.

“Oh shit. JAN! SORRY! I didn´t mean to… ah, crap. WAIT!”

Andrés already regretted telling Jan that in detail.
When Jan arrived totally exhausted at his camp, he immediately startet yelling at Thomas.


“Eh, what is it? I have just opened a beer, and you need a damn good reason to…”


Chanty was also alarmed by Jan´s unusual temper.

“What is it? What is wrong?”

The tension in the situation alone caused Chanty crying again, as she assumed something really bad happened, but Jan assured her that this is not the case, and Thomas and Chantal followed Jan to the GECA team.

“Damn, why would anyone ride a bike if he or she had a driving license?”




Jan then showed Thomas the bike of Hugh: It was the only one at least remotely fitting Thomas figure. Thomas was mad at first when he noticed that Jan forced him on a bike in order to improve his cardiac condition, but didn´t want to make a scene, especially when being at another team´s camp.

“So, you are Hugh?”

“Yes, and it´s a pleasure to show you the joy of riding a bike.”

“This is fun?”

“It is, and its nice to meet you, as I get to know many different persons in this event.”

“Yeah, would be for me too, if it didn´t involve doing sports…Do you have an allen key to adjust the saddle, please?”


“What am I supposed to do with a knife?”

“Damn, wrong key, sorry…”

Valentin then explained the irritated Rhino Squad that Hugh is sometimes a bit weird and seems to have a neurodivergence. Actually, Hugh is a game character who is played by someone in a parallel universe, but nobody knows that. Thomas just made a weird face, Jan nodded in disbelief, and Chanty understood nothing at all, but soon after, Thomas sat on the bike- and Jan also, as he wanted to make sure that Thomas is really using it and not just riding to the nearest bar to get drunk.

“And me?”


, asked Valentin.

“I mean, I feel bad if they have to ride a bike while I am sitting lazy at the campsite.”

“Well, Ingrids bike might fit. But I have to ask her first. You would propably also not lend your car anyone, so I will be right back.”

10 Minutes later, Chanty was also equipped with a bike, and all three rode off to explore the region a bit. Drur was a beautiful city with ocean view and historic medieval buildings, so it made totally sense to do that biking trip here. After an hour, Chanty was totally exhausted and almost falling off the bike.


“Oh, you´re exhausted already?”


“Yes, sorry, I mean, that´s quite an archievement for you to ride a whole hour. And it´s great that you even bothered doing this. I am surprised you kept up this long.”

“Yes, I know, I am fat… and its a miracle that the bike didn´t break in half…”

Jan got off “his” bike and hugged Chanty in order to silence her with a love does instead of duct tape, and after a few minutes, she was feeling good enough to slowly ride back.

“Thomas, how is your state?”

“MY ASS HURTS FROM THAT FUCKING SADDLE! It feels like sitting on a sharp rock. The riding position is like being stuck inside a washing machine and … I HATE IT! I will ride back with Chanty.”

“Dad, no, please… do me the favour. Riding a bike is good for people with cardiac problems, if you still can go on, then please do it…”

“Yeah, fine, another 30 minutes more, but then I am also done, I also struggle to keep up Jans pace by now. And we have to ride all the distance back…”

Chanty seperated herself from the group, while Thomas started ranting again as soon as they continued.


“Thomas, damn, do you even know that we do this for you, in oder to improve your health?”

“Beer has vitamines, too.”

“Chantys mental state is also that bad because she saw you almost dying, the mindreader can confirm it. She isn´t over it.”

“Everyone has to die one day.”

“THOMAS! You know what she does when you are gone? Right at the moment, there would be two funerals at once then. This is not a joke. You can lock her up in the psych ward then, so my objective is letting you live as long as possible and that also includes sport and healthy food.”


“So, Thomas. here is the deal: Either healthy food, or daily 30 minutes of cardio-centered excercises?”

“Yeah, well, I prefer sport then, let´s get back on the bikes.”

While Thomas tried to act cool, he clearly changed his mind to the bike not because he himself wanted that or had an interest in living longer - but for the wellbeing of his daughter, he would do almost anything - except for eating salad daily.
Chanty brought back the bike to Valentin, who checked for possible damage.

“You… have a checklist?”

“Sure. These are expensive and highly complex bikes for professional use. Any damage could be dangerous at the speeds that our team members are able to ride with their training and experience. Also, they are very expensive, so we have to make sure you did not cause us unneccecary expenses.”

“Ah, so… I guess it is still ok, we didn´t crash or such.”

“I hoped you would finish an activity without a disaster, and I am delighted that wish came true. Did you enjoy it?”

“Propably only Jan really enjoyed it, but we had a nice view of the ocean, and I propably did something good for my health as well, but I was just exhausted after an hour and needed to ride back, the others will arrive in an hour or so…”

“Definitely. And it does not matter how far you got, as you at least tried and successfully rode a few kilometers. Whenever one of you, or at best all of you, feel like doing this again, we might make that possible.”

Chanty was looking foward to some snacks, and this time, she really had earned them. She found a plastic bag next to the car, with a notice for her. Marie was obviously giving her half of a cat…
Almost everyone could hear the scream, and then the crying, thankfully, Angel was quite close and could look after her, but almost threw up himself from the stench and the… look of the slaughtered cat. Andrea and Pi also wanted to help her friend, but just couldn´t when seeing what was in the bag.

“We need to bury it… we can´t let it lay here like trash”,

cried Chanty, so terribly that the translator ring failed, and she needed multiple attempts to make the technology understand her.
Angel answered, that he could do this, but his hands are injured from the glass splinters… in that moment, Bong appeared.

“CHANTAL! Your cause my team so much drama! Can´t you just be normal, at least a bit? Why would you even…”


, sobbed Chanty, still sitting on the ground and not able to do anything except handing Bong the notice.

“Oh, sorry, then it is definitely NOT your fault… this time. I heard you wanted to bury it, but you can´t look at it and your friend is injured? In this case, Angel, please get me a shovel and we will do this, no problem.”

Dr. Bong did as promised, and Chanty took a shower at the train yards employee bathrooms, she was, after doing some sport activity, in need of it anyway, and some fresh water would maybe help her clear her mind, too.

Meanwhile, Thomas and Jan are on the way back to the campsite, when Jan pulled over at a cliff for the beautiful ocean view.

“Thomas, do we have beer?”

“Plenty. What´s wrong that you want to drink alcohol? That´s unusual for you.”

“I mean, in your backpack. You won´t go anywhere without beer if you´re not in charge of driving a motor vehicle.”

“Yep! Here is one for you, and one for me. So, what´s the matter?”

“We will soon be back at home, right?”

“Yep. Chanty can´t wait to have internet again, and I can´t wait to get to work.”

“That is it, that internet thing. Acutally, we were about to break up before we went here, and it was about that damn social media.”


Thomas spilled a bit of his beer, looking at Jan as if he had seen a ghost.

“So, in her Tiktok and Instagram accounts she used to write SINGLE and, that with presenting herself like she does, generates… .attention. Briefly after we came together she removed “Single”, but didnt write taken. I asked her why she doesnt just write that then, and she said “I am no longer single here so its fine, isn´t it?”, I then replied nah, you are pretending I dont exist because you want more likes and thats not ok, she is also trying to not accidentally reveal me in her videos, even removing my stuff in the backgrund, and her recation was “YOU WANT TO OWN ME LIKE A THING OR WHAT”, and I honestly don´t want to own her, but I don´t want her presenting herself like a professional just for some likes of horny old men…”

Thomas sighed, and Jan waited for an answer that was apparently never coming.

“She´s old enoug. I see your point, so don´t think that you are wrong, but also, social media seems to follow some rules - back in my day, I was running after attention with fancy cars to show off, and her way is posing with sparse clothes to some weird music. I honestly ask you, do you think she would cheat on you?”

“Of course not!”

“So, I see that it´s not respectful to, well, let´s say, hide you in her account. But, on the other hand, that account is an artificial portrait of her. Social media is mostly fake. Don´t you think that most of the content there is realistic? Or they show their real life there? At least from the professionals, I doubt that. Don´t mix her online personality up with the real one that begs for the love of only one person, and that is you. Come on, let`s get the beer empty and ride back to the camp, I AM FUCKING HUNGRY.”

At the time when Thomas and Jan arrived at the camping site, Chanty and Angel were already on an expedition to the abandoned medieval castle. Cody from the Highway Hooligans, who also spotted Chanty desperately sobbing, proposed this adventure as a distraction, and Chanty actually is into ghosts and haunted things, but as she was totally scared of the possible outcome and Jan was not present yet, she insisted on Angel going with her - which he did, of course.

“Hm, it is becoming very dark… Angel, do you have enough battery on your phone?”

“Yes, for two or three hours of lighting it should be totally sufficient.”

“This looks really impressive. Uargh! I can already feel the ghosts.”

“We better stay in motion, let´s go into that area, the moonlight is shining through the windows, so we can save phone battery.”

“Good idea, Angel… do you mind holding my hand? I am scared…”

Chanty was firmly grabbing Angels hand to a point that it was almost squeezing, which was painful with the cuts he had, but he didn´t dare to complain - he was a bit scared himself, but the most important was that Chanty did not have a panic attack - this was the last place where he would like this to happen.

When they wandered through the giant hallways, Angel was asked to do a bit of filming and taking photos of their tour in order to later use it for social media, but suddenly Angels face turned pale.

Was asked to hide this because the story contains a large spider, please be aware of that before opening the spoiler

“Eh, what is it?”

“D…dont… tt-t-t-turn around.”

“Why? Is there a ghost?”

“N…no… what I see is v-v-v-v-very m-m-m-much real!”

Chanty was great at doing the opposite of what she was told, and of course she turned around.


“C…come on!”


“I can´t carry you, you are too heavy…Should I get help or stay with you?”


“I…I…count that as… I should stay…”


“What about the e-e-e-emergency ring?”

“My hand is so sweaty, I can´t activate it… WE WILL DIE!”

“Damn, I am shaking too m-m-much, neither c-c-can I.”


Only a few minutes later, Thomas entered the room.

“DADDY! What are you doing here?”

“Bong has told me what happened, and then Cody joined and told me that you got Angel for that…eh…expedition. And I thought I can´t leave a team consisting of one with one eye and another one with one braincell alone… WHY are you crying for help, Chantal?”


“Argh, what, you are hyperventilating because of a fucking spider? All right, let´s have a look at it. Where are your phones to make some light?”

“My…battery is dead and Angel lost his phone on the run… but… that spider…IT IS AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE!”

“Yeah, sure, spider, wait, here is my lighter. So, let´s see… OOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!”

Thomas shivered as he saw the large spider that was still looking at the humans and slowly walking towards Chanty who started another tear flood as she looked at it in detail, while Thomas almost burned his fingers with the lighter, then he continued, whispering.

“That…thing is … huge, yes. Boah, is that thing disgusting… the body is…as fat as a bowling ball…uuuuuuuarrrrrgh.”

“Thomas, do you have a plan? I-i-i-i-t is coming towards meeeeee!”

“Angel… eeeeh… eeeehhh… YOUR BACKPACK! OPEN IT!”

Thomas, scared as hell, carefully grabbed the spider as if he was defusing a bomb, then quickly throwing it in Angels backpack, and nobody on Holsia has ever seen someone closing a zipper as fast as Thomas.
Chanty slowly calmed down, as Angel comforted her, and Thomas grabbed the backpack.

“LEAVE IT HERE, THOMAS! I really liked my backpack, but I will never be able to look at it again, and I do NOT WANT THIS SPIDER IN THE CAMP!”

“Don´t be a pussy. It´s now trapped inside. I need Jan to check if it´s poisonous.”

“It is… uncommon to check that AFTER grabbing it.”

“Should I let it out again then?”


When Chanty came back with Angel and Thomas, Cody was curious to hear how it was, and she told him everything in the most dramatic way possible, also crying again, and it is clear that she … isn´t over the spider encounter yet. So Codys teammate Trevor had the idea to just make a huge party, and Trevor handed Chanty another of their beers, while preparing a special surprise: The confetti cannon, made out of some plumbing stuff, and the 50 year old big guy proved that he can still party like when he was half his current age, and Chanty enjoyed that party very much.

Meanwhile, after Jan, who is very familiar with biology, confirmed that this spider looks terryfiying but actually isn´t, Thomas sneaked with the backpack to the Hillbilly Rollers, opening the backpack and letting the spider find some rest in the IP… right in the fridge where the Booze was stored, making sure the right person finds Mr. Spiderman…


Team Firulais

Stage 7: A brief continuation of the Night, a Rather Uneventful Stage with an Eventful Conversation, and a Search for the Supernatural

(Mentioning @That-S-cop [Cunning Stunts], @SurrealCereal [Machinas Con Passione, just a mention] and @HappyHungryHippo [The Rhino Squad])

Continuation of the Night at Björnes.

Ángel continued to wonder about his life as he continued to look at the stars, with seemingly no clear objective… Just the one to relax after the events of that afternoon… He continued like that up to 6 Moon. In his stargazing however, he was starting to get familiar memories… Literally.

He looked at a picture of his family, more specifically, of him and his siblings (Ángel has 3 siblings… Kanna, Ryoga and María [not to confuse with Maria from Machinas Con Passione]). He missed them so hard. He hadn’t seen them in person in months, which may sound as little, but, for Ángel, it felt like an eternity. He lived isolated from them for a long time, and he didn’t exactly have much friends in Vladivostok either … hell, not even his neighbors had some compassion with him. He was, after all, Vladivostok’s troublemaker.

Ángel (to the photo):“I wish you could’ve come here too… We’d have such a good time. As soon as we return back to earth, I’ll make sure to tell you… And, also, don’t worry… I’m coming to Japan soon, you’ll see…”

This was just a fragment of what he said, before Ana rept screaming in her tent… Apparently something had happened to her, but, luckily, they’d discover she’d just had a nightmare…

… Ángel would also struggle with his sleep that day… In fact, everyone in the team was asleep heavily, probably excluding Andrés (who decided to quit sleeping for a moment and stay up for a while more, playing videogames), Ana, who just had one nightmare, and Ángel, who felt like his world crumbled whenever he had a nightmare, which happened more often than you’d guess… Take in mind (there goes the unintended pun), the fallout from Ángel’s Mind Reading Incident here was still very much present…

Late Morning in Björnes.

Josué:“This night was… Surprisingly… Smooth.”
Ángel:“You Say… Think about me…”
Ana:“Hey, what time is it…?”
Andrés:“It is… Wait… Why does my clock say it’s 6:23 PM… When it clearly ain’t…?”
Ángel:“Starting to get accostumed to Aetheriian Day and Night Cycles ? It’s, like, 2-Sun.”
Ana:“Which would be…?”
Ángel:“Let me think… If 5-Sun is like, Noon, and right now it’s 2-Sun-55, that means it must be… 80 by 80… by 20… Would be roughly the equivalent of 7, 8, 9 AM ?”

Of course… Ángel could be totally off… But, as soon as the team hurd that… They freaked.

They rushed breakfast, packed up as soon as they could… Ana didn’t even got the chance to buy booze of any sort, Ángel didn’t got the chance of taking photos of the Coast and missed breakfast, Tomás didn’t got the chance to meet someone else, Josué couldn’t make some shopping, and Andrés almost lost his cool, because he almost lost his phone in the Aurora’s Boot.

Ultimately, they sat off, with Ana behind the wheel, relatively late…

Road to Drur.
The Moment of Truth.

Josué:“Well… As sparkling as this stage is going for us… This stage is getting boring…”
Ana:“I think I know how we can spice this up.”
Ángel:“How ?”
Ana:“Well… What about you tell us what you saw in Chantal’s Mind at Bj… Bijoo… Ugh…”
Ángel and Josué (in unison):“Björnes ?”
Ana:“That place.”
Ángel:“I don’t know… What if it’s something very personal… What if it’s disturbing for y’all…?”
Ana:“Nah, we’ll see…”
Ángel:“No, no, seriously, I d—”
Ana:“Go on, tell it. Or otherwise, I’ll force you to dance at the next stop !”

Side Note: Ángel SUCKED at dancing. Mainly due to bullying at school, as people often took that as one of many things to pick on Ángel, and start laughing at him… Due to his social skills at the time, he felt… Embarrassed.

Now, not wanting that to happen again, 9 years later, he had to speak.

Josué:“Go on, Ángel. Don’t worry, we’ll try our best to understand.”
Ángel:“Alrighty… So, I saw many memories of Chantal’s life, some not bad at all… But, many bad things have happened in her life… She was bullied at school, she had an ex…”
Ana:“I can relate…”
Ángel:“Last year… In… Uh… I think Sweden ? Somewhere around the Scandinavian Part of Europe, Jan hurt his foot, and Thomas nearly died…”

When Ángel’s Team hurd THAT one part: “Thomas nearly died”, the ambient inside that Aurora suddenly felt colder… drabber… more serious than expected.

Nevertheless, Ángel had a lot to tell, so he continued.

Ángel:“…Many things have happened in her life. She lost her first pet, her parents divorced -which, as disastrous as my relationship with my parents MIGHT be, mine are still together-, she was cheated on, she lost many friends… She was bullied in school… as mentioned, in Sweden, her father almost died…”

Again, the ambient seemed to turn colder inside that Aurinko… The only sounds were that of the engine, the vibrations of the road, the wipers, and Ángel’s voice…

Ángel:“Not all was bad though. As I said earlier, she had a lot of good memories too… Her first feeling of love… I understand that. Same as for being given an Ice Cream after falling… I used to fall so often… Yet, sadly, in Malokurilskoye there weren’t any Ice Cream shops… So I often got hot chocolate. Hell, she was even allowed to sit in the driver’s seat of her father’s car… She looked so happy at that moment…”

Everyone felt it… Specially Ana. Who had also passed thru similar bad things… Her pet had died a few months prior, she was also cheated on by someone -wouldn’t you know it… Ángel, Tomás and Andrés had passed thru that too…-, and her parents were on a particular situation as of marriage…

Ana felt sympathy.

Ángel might have sounded envious, but, he also had truly bad and good moments… Just that his were quite different in a unique way…

Ángel continued.

Ángel:“I don’t exactly understand why is she like this… I assume that her happiness lasted for very short, or ain’t lasting for very long… I believe it hurts for her to remember good things that are no longer present, as if her present day is some sort of shadow of the past… Why do we, humans, or in my case ‘Yumeisotitanian Humanoid Descendants’, or ‘Yumeisotitanian-Human Crossbreeds’, have more clear memories about things which are bad ?”

That was actually a question… But no one responded…

Ángel:“Guys. Guys ?”

“I must have said far too much…”, he thought.

And the rest of the stage, even the small fuel stop, was silent. All they hurd for those few hours was, again, road vibrations, engine noise, wipers, and probably some music from Ángel’s cassettes…

As they started to arrive at Drur, however, the mood started to slowly rise up again… The beautiful scenery was perfect for them… Sadly, their time of arrival wasn’t, but, honestly, who cared…? This wasn’t a competition after all. Josué had just gotten into that, as he didn’t really focus on how fast they were going, or, really, where they were going anyway… Andrés and Tomás had still to learn about it, and Ana… Well, she drove it like she stole it, despite having to make a pit stop for fuel…

A Nice Talk with Cunning Stunts.

Cunning Stunts had a rather decent stage that day. Lana and Murray were just starting to set up camp at that point. Meanwhile, Ángel, Tomás, and Ana, were walking thru camp, having just arrived, and they were just passing thru there.

Ana:“Why, out of all things you could do, you had to tackle her ?”
Ángel:“What else could I do ? Besides, I don’t normally say this, but, it would -and did- look quite cool…”
Ana:“Gosh, I’m dying of thirst…”

There, they hurd a can of beer (“Four X”) being opened by Murray, and Ana, who, as mentioned, was feeling thirsty, saw an opportunity.

Ana:“Heey, can I—”
Tómas:“Ángel… Just, let her be.”

He thought it for a moment, and, after almost no time, he indeed let her be. Lana looked at them to see if they were hungry or anything, but, apparently, it was only Ana being thirsty. Ángel showed slight signs of malnourishment, but, nothing actually serious… In fact, it could be said to be the usual for Ángel… Remember, they sat off from Björnes in a hurry, and to speed up their progress, Ángel decided to sacrifice himself by not eating breakfast…

Lana:“You guys need anything ?”
Ana:“Can you give me beer, or booze, or anything ?”
Murray:“How many of you need Four X ?”
Ángel:“Just her. Tommy and I don’t really drink.”

Murray chucked a can of the beer with considerable strength, and Ana caught it with a bit of a jump. After all, the Firulais weren’t exactly tall… Right after, she opened the can.

Ana:“Gracias !”
(In Spanish: Thanks!)
Tómas:“You are the ones who blew a head gasket on the rift, am I right ?”
Lana:“Yeah… This bike doesn’t like to be babied, it likes high revs. So we somehow blew it.”
Ángel:“Hm… Well, we’ve had constant problems with our tires… As if we were cursed.”
Ana (mumbling):“Because this Gopnik didn’t change the tires…”
Ángel:“…But I can’t deny the fact that a head gasket failure is terrible in such an early stage-- hell, the rally didn’t even truly begin at that point…”
Lana:“It wasn’t all that bad though… The engine came off easily.”

Ángel gave a glance at that Motorcycle… He rode in motorcycles before, so, he kinda knows… But, he never rode one with an engine beyond 250cc. So seeing a 1100cc was just insane for him. He then realized something.

Ángel:“This Motorcycle has a similar engine size to that of our Aurora…”
Ana:“It kinda explains why our performance has been pathetic, even after you supposedly rebuilt the Engine and the Transmission…”

Yes, you hurd her right. They’ve only finished outside of the top 10 twice… And yet she considers their performance pathetic. For Ángel’s standards, not finishing last (or, in this case, just finishing) was an accomplishment in itself…

Ángel:“How much horsepower does it have ?”
Lana (dubious):“195 ?”
Ángel:“Almost quadruple our Aurora…”
Ana:“Guess Ángel’s restoration project with that Aurora was the peak of Finnish Tech with the quality of Russian Repairs.”
Ángel:“Look it this way… At least, apart from one overheating issue, and our brake line issue on the way to Lauda… We’ve had no problems…”
Tómas:“Also, apparently, no signs of your things today, right ?”

Ángel’s “things” were his mind reading incidents… And overall, his powers… Lana and Murray started to doubt. And Ángel was being forced to lie in order to hide the mind reading capabilities to at least one team…

Lana:“What things ?”
Ángel:“Uhm… S-See, I usually get a panic attack… f-for no apparent reason…”

Lana didn’t do anything menacing. But Ángel wanted to go back to camp. Not only he was hungry, being the only one who didn’t eat breakfast… But also, he felt pressure, even though none was being applied at him.

Ángel:“I-I Will go back to our spot in Camp… S-See ya…”

And then his clumsiness played a role in not hiding completely his skills… He somehow tripped over with something. Little did he know, when he thought about things, he was talking telepathically to someone… And not someone from his team.

Murray:“You better watch out for the railway ballast… Are you OK ?”
Ángel (telepathically, to Murray):“Yeah, Yeah, I’m—”

Compared to his mind reading, this was a minor, maybe even invisible incident. Yet he felt the need to tell Murray to not say anything related to this.

Ángel (telepathically to Murray):“You… Just… Don’t tell anyone I have telepathy, OK ? Unless I tell you otherwise…”

Ángel then walked back to the Firulais’ spot… And shortly afterwards, the other two did the same, after realizing there wasn’t really much to talk about…

Little did they know that the information Ángel gave them thru the stage, was now on the Hands of Jan.

Later that day…
A search for the Supernatural.

Ángel accompanied Chantal on her attempt to search for ghosts and spirits in an abandoned medieval castle. Ángel wasn’t exactly prepared to encounter a spider though and a big one too… Ángel has some fear for insects. Luckily for him, Thomas came on the scene just in time to save them.

While his backpack was in the hands of Jan who was examining the spider, Ángel returned to his team’s spot at camp… His team seemed a bit concerned by seeing him shaking and all.

Even Ana showed some worry.

Ana:“Ángel… You alright ? I mean… You’re shaking, and you look a bit more pale than usual.”
Ángel:“N-Nah, don’t worry, I-I’m OK.”
Andrés:“Also, are we going to play Pokémon tonight or what ?”
Ángel:“Y-You know what ? Y-You win by default tonight… M-My console… Uhh… Is out of battery.”

That was a lie…

Andrés didn’t feel exactly happy, but he conformed, meaning Ángel’s lie to not play that night had gone thru unnoticed.

Not much more happened that night, except some shopping (making hay about the fact they could buy here, and not commit the same mistake as in Björnes earlier in the morning), and maybe Ángel drawing imagery of the views. As a fun fact, he did later attend to the small party held for Chantal… But he only lasted there for 30 minutes before being too tired to continue, and decided to go to bed (or, should we say, the back seat of the Aurora) and sleep.

Weirdly, he was, for once, the first of the team to sleep…

I guess the Stage ends here…

And, as always, Collabs are open…


Shitbox Rally - Stage 8

Stage 8: Drur to Hofrost

Weather: Low 20’s, dense clouds, and windy.

The roads are generally fine, if a little bit narrow or patchy in places, and they wind their way through the hilly terrain. For a while, we’re still following the coastline, but it does eventually start to become obvious that we’re heading toward the mountains.

Shift Happens is the first team spotted on the side of the road with the hazard lights on - Their wonderful driving AI panicked and locked the brakes up, refusing to move. Why? Because someone put a sticky note with “Ha Ha” over one of the front cameras… And some black electrical tape over a couple of the others. After spending 5 hours searching for all of the hidden tape, the team vows to find out who did this.

The Argonites encounter the bane of all drivers - A curb. One flat tire later, they’re back on the move.

The advantages of a motorcycle are many, but so, too, are the downsides. Unfortunately, crashing the bike and having to use most of the repair spares up costs 5.25 hours of Cunning Stunts’ time after a failed “shortcut” attempt.

The “Crazy” Eight are driven almost to the point of insanity by an irritating little misfire causing pops and bangs in the exhaust. Two hours later,the bad fuel injector is found and replaced.

Machinas Con Passione gets to experience the fun of changing a dead fuel pump. It takes two hours to splice the aquarium pump into the fuel line, figure out how to stop the cheap Chinese inverter from blowing the cigarette lighter fuse (by sticking a paper-clip in the fuse holder), and to get used to how underpowered the car now feels thanks to the abysmal fuel flow rate.

Team Peak Performance spends two hours hunting down electrical gremlins. It’s amazing what a bad ground can do.

Ramjet had to stop because of two flat tires. Luckily, they’re easy enough to change at this point.
(@JCurtiss96 @Leone)

Hofrost is an example of “Holsian Sprawl” with 78,000 people spread out over many hills and valleys, an otherwise-small city on the edge of Holsia’s mountain ranges.

Our camp is on the far side of the city, in the direction we’ll be heading tomorrow, with all of the crew told to pick a spot on a large, grassy hill. There are no services here either, save for some outhouses used by train crews. The support train is parked in a passing siding off the main line, not that far from the camp - we will be hearing trains for most of the night.

Spreadsheet is here:




“Do this fucking support bracket have to be removed?”, Andreas sighed.

“Yes, otherwise you won’t be able to get the heater core far enough to the left, to be able to pass it through so you can get it out of the door, and…”, Janne sighed. “Nevermind, let’s just say that it all has to be removed.”

“The engine too?”, Andreas said with a grain of salt.

“Almost”, Janne answered.

Lots of work later, they had managed to get the heater core out, but the whole interior was also more or less outside the IP. Janne did not lie when he said how those cars were built. A lots of scrubbing later they had managed to remove the butter residues, and there was now a possibility for the car to smell…well, at least a little less unpleasant. Needless to say, there was even more work to get the IP back together again. The sun was starting to go down when they were finished, both exhausted and tired, they decided to walk around for a while, to see something else than the IP.


At around the same time, Marie came back from doing…well, who knows, Janne and Andreas had ordered her to do anything else than being around the IP to not risk having the heater core being shoved down her throat, at least she had no luck in looting beer, so she was looking into the minibar for something to drink when the giant spider jumped out from it.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”, she was screaming, while the spider was escaping the cargo area. “THAT FUCKER WAS AS BIG AS A FINNISH SPITZ!”. Marie took the axe and started chasing the potentially lethal monster.

“TAKE THIS YOU LITTLE BASTARD!”, she was shouting, swinging the axe, hitting everything but the spider.

With the spider trying to escape into the car, Marie didn’t calm down. “This is probably some poisonous bastard that will kill the whole camp!”, she thought.


Scared for its life, the big spider was running away…somewhere else, while Janne and Andreas came back and…

“MARIE, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE???”, Janne screamed, totally losing his temper.

“I just tried to kill a goddamned bastard of a spider!”, she said, sitting inside the smashed interior, with blood stains coming from her managing to hit herself rather than the spider.


“Well, you should have worked faster then if you thought it took too long”, Marie replied, while Janne just went away towards Team Shift Happens without saying anything more.

“GREAT! We have to drive this POS tomorrow, and you have smashed it up completely!”, Andreas said. “What do you have to say to your…NO, I DON’T WANT TO HEAR!”, an almost as furious Andreas said. “Just…Just don’t say a word”, he said, starting to duct tape the interior together in panic, which didn’t repair the smashed windshield though…



Highway Hooligans & Team Shift Happens

Stage 8

Cody looks around at the camp in the dark, quiet hours just before sunrise. The big furry fellows were definitely asleep, as was most of the camp. He pulls out a roll of electrical tape and starts covering cameras on the bus, giggling quietly as he wanders around. As a last act of defiance, he scribbles “Ha Ha” on a sticky note and adheres it over one of the front mounted cameras. His seeds of chaos now sown, Cody sneaks back over to the Ishu, chuckling quietly the whole time.

Kivenaal sighs as the alarms go off, announcing it was time to get up and start the long, tedious process of preparing to leave camp. Breakfast, pack Jayde’s tent into the Cargo-Trailer-of-Holding, get everyone onboard the bus and buckled in, inevitably have to wait an extra 10 minutes for Lauren to get off the bus and go pee, get out of the camp and onto a road, then enable the self-driving AI.

Like most days, things went pretty much exactly to plan, with the exception that it was Malavera who needed the toilet break instead of Lauren. The solution, crude and disgusting as it was, that Mal took to remedy the problem was simply to stand in the rear doorway, unzip, and let fly into the grass before straightening up his clothes and getting into his seat.

Things went great up until Kivenaal hit the switch to let the AI take over, and within 2 seconds, it piled on the brakes with enough force to nearly unseat everyone, as well as causing things in the rear shelving unit to crash around.

“Mal, Tak, your AI is being stupid again,” Kivenaal calls out.

Takaraya wanders forward and takes a look at the debug screen.

Sensor_Conflict_Resolution - Too Close to Vehicle Ahead.

“Seems to think there’s a vehicle in front of us,” Takaraya replies with a shrug. “Come on, everyone, let’s go see if there’s leaves on the sensors again.”

Most of the crew leave the bus, though Kiva, Jayde, Kasiya, and Inaelus stay on.

Mal peels the sticky note off of the front of the bus and holds it up for Kiva to see. “Someone’s fuckin’ with us.”

“May their whole fuckin’ team have an interesting night, then,” Jayde grumbles.

Five hours later, they’d found all of the little pieces of tape stuck all over various cameras and sensors, peeled them up, and disposed of them in the wastebasket by the front door. The bus makes a mostly-trouble-free trip into the latest camp, spotting a grinning set of Hooligans grabbing some beers out of the back of their Ishu Astrion with a trailer bodged onto it.

“Heard you guys had an unscheduled stop,” Cody says with a smirk.

“Laugh it up, Stay-Puft,” Kayden grumbles, looking over as Kaylie helps Jayde set up his tent.

Jake laughs, Trevor smirks, and Cody groans. “Ouch. That’s really the best insult you could come up with?”

Kayden gives a wicked, full-fangs-showing grin. “Oh, I don’t need to insult you properly, Cody. You already earned a surprise from Jayde.”

To Be Continued…


Stage 8 - A dumb idea and a new friend

teams included:Hillbilly Rollers by @Knugcab, Chitko by @MrdjaNikolen, Shift Happens by @Madrias, Firulais by @Angelustyle. The train for the photoscene has been provided by @Mikonp7

also as kitschy as some teenie romance in some parts, but thats because the real Chanty wanted to write more of her dialogues herself…

Chanty started her day with a serious hangover - the Highway Hooligans usually party VERY hard, so not only beer but also booze was consumed, and she was not woken up by her team in order to not make her emotional breakdowns worse by adding fatigue. But she finally did get up, and heard people chattering about… the spider!


“Sure, stuffed it Marie in her throat. I think that is a fitting revenge for what she did to you.”

“NO! That spider was running across the camping site and this could scare people!”

“It´s just a spider and it will escape into the forest anyway. Spiders have a good sense of orientation and it will find the way back to the castle easily.”

“You have NO right to put other peoples feelings in question, that is invasive behaiviour of you.”

“Your generation is really … some pathetic snowflakes, come on, grow up.”

“Impose boomer standards that are going biological extinct anyway soon on people that will outlive you by decades and making them suffer for nothing but the sake of your small ego is pathetic!”

You could hear a leaf falling now, as it became very silent after Chantys rage, but suddenly some group of younger team members applauded Chanty, making her feel a bit uncomfortable. To escape the situation, as she didn´t want to stand next to her annoyed father for an eternity until he finally figured out to rant back, she decided for a shower, while Thomas just mumbled “young people are really weird these days”, but otherwise seeming to accept that he was considered being in the wrong.

By walking to the shower with her bag, Chanty passed Andrea who looked quite desperate this time, so for once it was not Andrea comforting Chanty but the opposite.

“Oh, you look so sad… what is wrong?”

“You don´t look much better, so… you first.”

“Just a hangover and I am still scared by that dead cat and the spider…”


“Ah, I will tell you on the way to the shower. You are coming with me?”

“That is the problem! A wild boar… or something similar raided my bag. We should really not have left our cookies in the bags, that´s attracting the local wildlife. Most of my clothes are gone!”

“OH NO! Can´t you take something from Pi, at least for your… upper half?”

“Pi´s stuff is also gone.”

“Ah well, I have an idea then. Finally I can tell Jan and my dad that bringing tons of stuff isn´t unneccecary!”

Chanty provided her friends with some of her clothes, which looked… weird. Pi loved her anime t-shirt, while Andrea looked funny in the hello kitty pyjama that was waaaay to oversized for her, but was grateful for the help, although she propably would had asked someone with a more… usual taste, but didn´t tell that, as she did not want to hurt Chantys feelings. She regretted not having asked Jakasxandra quick enough to not have been offered stuff by Chantal.

“You don´t like it?”

“Oh, I do, it´s fine, really. Its only for a day anyway, as we might have the opportunity to shop at the next destination anyway.”

Chanty, being happy to be of assistance and giving back her friends some support, leaned against Andrea and started cuddling with her.

“Oh, if we weren´t attracted by men, you`d be my one of my possible choices, sweetie.”

“I am actually Bi, but don´t tell that Jan, he is already jealous enough at boys!”

Both laughed until Thomas passed by in the Primus, honking and making wild gestures.


“Let me drive! We need to win for once!”

“Are you sure that you are fit for driving?”

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSS! Move your not-bad-for-your-age ass to the backseat!”

It could have been an easy drive, despite narrow and windy roads, but Chantal was by now used to the rather large Primus. But when they passed the Hillbilly Rollers for a start, Marie yelled something very mean at Chanty, and she almost started to cry, still trying hard to surpress it.

“Chantal? What is it? Was it what Marie said? I didnt hear it really, what did she say?”

“Thomas, you better don´t know, but I got it, too, and it was … not very nice.”

Jan put his left hand on Chantys right hand, and since they drove an automatic, were able to put their hands on the center console, and Chanty made sure she did not let loose for even a second, but being upset anyway, she drove again faster than one should, and they were quite far up front when they approached a railroad crossing. Actually, they were leading for the first time.

“Ah shit, all that speeding for nothing, you can have a stop now for a cigarette, it seems you need a smoke to cool down. That steam cloud seems like a train is coming.”

“NO WAY! We can do this!”

“Chantal, no, that won´t work. We are too far away to safely pass the crossing. I can´t tell it from that distance as I don´t see the train, but my experience tells me we will just wear down our tires and brakes for nothing.”

The engine of the Primus roared, as Chanty did a kickdown all the way back in second gear, which executed the old and worn transmission with a jerk that made all parts of the car clattering.



“Relax, we have enough space left to catch up.”

“Eeeeeh… at lightspeed, maybeee… but it will be a close one! How fast are we going? The car almost falls apart on that road at that speed!”

“A… 130…135…140!”

“You two are aware that the speed limit here is 60? AND NOT 160???”

“Jan, we can read. Ok, this should be fast enough for survival. But … it SHOULD, not it IS. I would rather not do that, Chantal.”


“Jans concern is valid, if I tell you to stop just before the point of no return, YOU DO THAT, UNDERSTOOD?”

Jan pulled the handbrake, but Thomas still hasn´t repaired it since it failed in Nevada.

“Are you insane, if that handbrake worked we would have spun in the ditch!”

“That is at least better than being crushed by a FUCKING STEAM TRAIN!!!”



Now Thomas voice was full of fear, as he realized that the distance of maybe 400 Meter to the crossing is too long to pass before the train that is much slower, but only has like 200 meter left to travel. Jan tried to jump out of the car, but that would have been lethal at that speed as well, so Thomas stopped him by holding the door lock control rod down, overriding the door handle.


Thomas then slammed with his head against the headrest of the passenger seat in front of him, as the Primus came to standstill with both rattling ABS and screeching tires, as Chanty pressed the brake pedal as hard as she could. In just that moment, the train passed them with a distance of maybe 5 centimeters, with the drag of the air causing the large car to shake like it was a small fishing boat in a thunderstorm in the ocean.

“Ooooofff… that was close! Are you all right?”

Jan left the car without saying a word, slamming the passenger door so hard that the window fell down. Chanty was still not even loosening her seatbelt, but silently crying.

“Heey, yes that was a very dumb action, but I won´t kick you out. You saved us by doing the right desision and listening to me. Heeeey, Chanty…”

Thomas put his hand on her shoulder, knowing that what he just verbally threw against her broke her heart in thousands of sharp pieces, but he did not have enough time to think of something milder that makes her stop in every case immediately.

Suddenly Jan, who first walked away from the car in order to not let his anger out at the others, made the unfortunate descision to come back, and ripped the driver door open, starting to yell at Chanty.


“JAN! Take a breath! Don´t you see she´s totally collapsed? I see your point, really, and I am also REALLY pissed but that is bad timing! We will discuss th…”

“NO, THOMAS! NO! I AM OUT HERE. I will now use that ring and…”

“NO! Don´t leave her alone like that at this moment. Do me the favour of staying until our destination and then we will discuss that matter, but with fair play, not by completely wrecking her.”

“Funny, Thomas, usually it´s you who yells at her, and now I do it for ONCE, because she finally carried it WAY TOO FAR, and suddenly you are the saint and I am the idiot?”

“Please, Jan, be a man, get in the car, and I will continue the driving for today.”


Jan walked off, despite Thomas trying to convince him to just take a deep breath, and Chantys panic attack from being yelled harsh at by Thomas not only doubled but tripled from Jans outbreak, and she exited the vehicle, running to the intersection and sitting down on the rails, continuing to cry desperately in what is propably her worst panic attack yet.

“AH NO, NOT THAT! That was really missing at the moment to make the disaster perfect!”

Although he didn´t want to have Jan out of sight, Thomas decided to pick him up later, and sprinted towards his daughter.

“GET OFF THERE! The next train maybe arrives soon.”

“I DON´T CARE! It´s all useless anyway…”

“Yes, I think this time he´s REALLY pissed, but… it´s mostly the shock. He doesn´t want to leave you for real, but that was an extreme situation that you caused. You have to go through that for the next hours now. After that, he will surely calm down.”


“It would be the best for now if you heard what I say, and this is now that you should come with me in the car and get off the rails, and then we will somehow get Jan back on board.”

“NO, JUST LEAVE ME HERE! Everyone is better off without me.”

“CHANTAL! I still have duct tape in the car. You want me to use it?”

She shook her head, and then followed Thomas with hanging shoulders, while her father hastily lighted a cigarette, which he then inhaled in less than a minute.

“Damn, where is Jan? Are you a bit better now?”

“Aren´t you also hating me now?”

“Of course I am quite angry at you, but nobody hates you. And it wouldn´t help if I explode now as well…”

“Just erease me from your life as you said, and continue a better life without me… I will survive here somehow, and if not, nobody cares, and I could prevent some wild animals from starving, I am fat enough that they don´t need to stay hungry…”

“I AM TRYING TO BE PATIENT LIKE A MONK WITH YOU TODAY BUT ONE MORE WORD AND I WILL GET THE DUCT TAPE AGAIN! Damn, this is not a race, didn´t you listen to the driver briefing in Nevada?”

“Sure, but I wanted to win something to make you proud.”

“I am a winner, Chantal, I have a beautiful and lovely daughter, and Jan is a winner, as he propably has the best girl he could pick. It´s pointless to risk your life then in order to get something we don´t need. Give me the team radio.”


“Rhinos here. Has anybody seen Jan? He got … lost on the way. Please report to me if you spot him, thanks.”

Everyone reported negative.

“Crap, I think we need to ask Shift Happens to locate him. But that also means explaining this shit, damn it.”

Just in that moment, Thomas had a short brainfreeze, then turned the car keys.

“AH! I think I … somehow know where he is, not far from here. Weird. Anyway, you stay in the car then, I`ll talk to him from man to man.”

Thomas drove down a small forest road, and they found Jan after only five more minutes. It needed another 10 to convince him to at least enter the car and continue the stage to the finish line, and then discussing how to continue.

Nobody spoke a word. Thomas focussed on the driving, trying to keep it sane in order to not make Jan boil even more, Jan was… staring out of the passenger window, and Chanty was silently crying in the backseat, cuddling with her Rudolph.

“Eh kids, I need to speed up a bit, Jan, are you OK with driving a bit faster, just a bit?”

“Why that?”

“Look in the mirror. These swedes are about to catch up. Do you really want that Gollum finishes in front of us?”

“Actually not. Yes, Thomas, keep them behind us.”

Upon arrival, all three were silent, until Jan asked for the car keys in order to drive to the center of Hofrost to get an own tent, which Thomas considered childish, but he thought like letting Jan doing a drive on his own might cool down his temper. At least the fact that Jan looked for a tent meant that he would consider staying with the team and Chanty in general instead of going home and really breaking up with Chantal. Thomas also noticed, that even if Chanty still had some random crying attacks, she also giggled a bit between them.

“What is that funny? It´s ok that you have something to laugh about in that situation, but I want to as well then.”

“The town´s name… it sounds like Bofrost and NOW I AM HUNGRY!!!”

“Yeah, the food from Bofrost wasn´t that bad, true… mmmmh, yes, let´s cook.”

When the food was ready, the Primus rolled back onto the campsite, and it seems Jan found something, as he started to build it up after getting a bowl of food without saying a word to his girlfriend.
Suddenly, he was greeted by Kasiya, the god of Peace and Renewal. He sensed that he might be needed, and offered Jan to discuss the matter with an independent person, having even more life experience than Thomas but being emotionally not involved. It seems it helped a bit, and when Kasiya left, Jan announced his descision to stay in Holsia, and Chanty ran towards Jan and hugged him, giving him many kisses.

“So… you still love me?”

“I love you, yes, of course. but I am not sure if this is sufficient. I maybe have underestimated how our different characters can conflict with each other when I agreed to be together with you… Propably my fault.”

“That…means… you still want to break up?”

“Honestly, I just said I leave, not that I break up, that is what you make out of it because you are a drama queen, but I do not want to make a descision on that now, especially not so briefly after such an argument.”

Chanty then ran away in tears, and Thomas was about to run after her, but Jan stopped him.

“No, no, Thomas. I think if everyone talks and talks and talks to her over and over again it will not make anything better. She needs some time for herself just like me.”

“So, you, the idiot causing her crying, now tells me how to treat my daughter?”

“Thomas, I think I am NOT an idiot for being honest to her, this is what she deserves, because I really love her and I just do not want to tell her a single lie. Would you prefer me pretending something?”

“No. I don´t feel to well, my heart… I might lay down a bit.”


“Yeah, yeah, fair point, but just promise me to keep an eye on Chanty and… please don´t make too quick descisions.”

When Ana went to the toilet shed aside the train tracks for an obvious reason, an elder train employee carefully knocked against the doors of the ladies restroom, calmly asking someone to get out.

“Eeeeh, that´s a longer dump then, eh?”

“Excuse me, WHAT?”

“Uhm… sorry madam, that was a bit informal.”

“Indeed it was! But, maybe you can help me. It seems someone from your tourist group has a really bad day and locked herself in, crying. I do not want to be impolite, but… people need to get in there, and would prefer them not standing on the train tracks to wait for her to finally get out. The first ones are already waiting here and it is a security risk, although this rail is used to park your train, but you get the point if more and more people are piling up here!”

“Hm, thats propably Chantal. I`ll try. Psssh! Hey, Chantal?”


“Ana here. I don´t want to interrupt your session there, but you start to build up a queque here, so I suggest… you get out of there and tell me what´s wrong.”

“I thought you hate me!”

“No, I don´t, and that lady here also doesn´t judge you, it´s just that… we have needs, too.”

“But it was me who dyed your hair…”

“That was obvious, but you know what? I started liking it. Now, please open the door and let me guide to some safe place where you can tell what happened, ok?”

Ana was still considering Chantal as a very annoying person, but she developed a bit of sympathy for her on the previous stage, when Angel told about his mindreading experience, so she thought she could get to know her a bit better and offer emotional assistance, although Ana was generally bad at that. A bit later, Jan struggled to build up both tents, and Thomas was asleep after taking some strong medication, as Andrés walked by.

“Oh, you have two tents now?”

“How many do you count?”


“So, you answered that question now yourself, Andrés.”

“Jan, you seem upset.”

“You would be too, if you had to build that trash up! And be a bit more silent please, Thomas is not feeling well, and I measured his heart rate, it´s not good.”

“You mean, he will die like in Sweden? OH NO!”

“Pssssh! Damn it! As far as I can see, it´s serious but not yet dangerous with his health right now, and if he has a rest, this will be sufficient… at least for the moment. So, what do you want?”

“You are interessed in biology and read a lot of books about Holsia since you are here, right? So, can you tell me if… the nearby lake is safe to swim?”

“I can look that up as I know in which of the books it was written about Bofrost, yes, but as you see, I am busy.”

“Bofrost? You mean Hofrost? I can build up that tent for you, I am not too bad at such stuff. You are more the intellectual, I see.”

“Yeah, there is some food company named Bofrost in Germany so I mix that up. Anyway, that sounds like a plan.”

In the evening, Ana and Chantal were still swimming, although Chanty was now feeling really cold - and exhausted, as sport is not really something she usually does.

“Hah! Sending Andrés as mailman worked well. I am so smart!”

“Please, I can´t any longer. Since the sun is gone, I am freezing and I am also very exhausted.”

“All right, let´s get back to our teams…or if you are scared of them still being pissed, just come with me. But hey, that action was really savage. But guess what? I would have tried to race that train, too, without a doubt.”

“Yes, but your team wouldn´t hate you for it.”

“Oh, come on, Jan will calm down. I am astonished that he is such a phillistine, from everything you told me about him and your life as couple. He looks so cool, and then you find out he´s a pensioner just looking like a cool guy. Thats like buying an Audi and then seeing it´s just a VW anyway.”

“But… he´s the first not only using me for the one thing.”

“I guess, he is lame there, too.”

“Well, so lazy that I am afraid that he would rather get a pregnant woman instead of making kids with me when he finally wants some.”

“HAHAHAHAHA, CHANTAL, YOU ARE SO SASSY! I really like that! Listen, how about challenging Marie once more? Your face is almost normal again, but I enjoyed you looking bruised like having kissed a sledgehammer a lot…”

“That was so painful, that´s not funny! I really thought she broke half of my bones and I have to compete for the remaining stages in the back of an ambulance! I will dye your hair green if you don´t take that back!”

“Hey, at least a stretcher would have been more comfortable to sleep on than your matress. Hm, how about then… even after looking like having kissed a sledgehammer, you were still a beauty?”

“That´s a lie to please me, I guess?”

“Do I look like a people pleaser like Angel or Andrés?”


“Come on, I was just mean at you because I was jealous of how a great person you are, hm? Argh, stop it Chanty, I am not a plush tooooooy!”

Well, Ana was indeed a bit lying to make Chanty happier, she really didnt consider her very chubby figure attractive, and even if she liked tattoos in general, having as much as Chanty wasn´t to her taste at all, not to forget that Ana would be the last person considering crying as normal, especially in the amount that Chantal does. But, Ana was actually doing something in order to let someone feel better for the first time in a veeeeeeeeeery long period, and she developed some sympathy for Chanty since that was really an archievement. Also, Ana, not really a physical person, would usually feel annoyed or even disgusted by hugs, but Chantys love dose finally made Ana feel something again, so she did not bother to stop Chanty any longer and accepted her fate.

When she went back to her campsite, she was very shy and insecure, knowing that the conflict was not solved yet, so she just stood there mute after arrival and was not really knowing what to do, so Jan, reading one of his scientific books, made the first step.

“Oh, there you are. I was starting to worry, and I am surprised you haven´t been with Angel, you were not with him when I saw him.”

“No…am I allowed… to come back? Where is my dad?”

“Inside, he´s tired, but don´t worry.”

“I… I fucked it up, and he´s in danger because of the stress I caused…”

“No, just tired. Don´t worry.”

This was clearly a lie but telling Chanty that she indeed caused an incident that made Thomas feel not well would not have improved the situation at all.

“Please, don´t sleep seperately, I can´t sleep with Rudolph alone…”

“I was about to talk about this matter, yes.”

“Please… make it short then… I can take it, I guess?”

“Please, don´t cry again. I haven´t said anything yet. So, the reason I did not follow you is that I wanted to have some time alone without you, and you propably without me, after we were more or less together on very little space all the time. So, how was it without me?”

“Terrible. I mean, I can do my own activities, but knowning you`re not “there” like you used to is a very cruel torture. I would rather go through Marie beating me up with a baseball bat every single day over and over than this.”

“That won´t happen because Marie would need to get past Thomas and me first, which we wouldn´t allow. To be honest, I also felt really shit being here alone without you. And this tells me, that you are indeed the other half completing me. That doesn´t mean that we don´t have to work on some things, and that definitely includes your social media addiction and … well, not trying to bring yourself and others in danger. And maybe, I need to relax a bit more, a bit of our arguments is surely on me for being stinky.”

“So… you are no longer mad at me?”

“Ah, now that my adrenaline is back on a normal level, I am over it. Actually, the result of our time off from each other was exactly as bad as I had assumed, and I am happy you are back here to clear this up. So, what to do with the empty second tent then? Renting it to Angel so that he doesn´t have to sleep in a car?”

“Hrhr. You know what couples are supposed to do after a really bad argument? Let´s move my father over there! He snores anyway.”

“Oh no, Chanty…”

“This was not just a proposal. Come on! You said yourself you need to relax more!”

“This is definitely not relaxation with you.”

“That´s your fault then, move now!”


Team Firulais

Stage 8: Ana begins changes, Ángel Isolates himself for the night as Mind Reader’s Hell Continues

(Mentioning @That-S-cop [Cunning Stunts, just a mention], @HappyHungryHippo [The Rhino Squad], @Madrias [Shift Happens, Highway Hooligans], @Knugcab [The Hillbilly Rollers], @SheikhMansour [Spy Kids])

Morning at Drur.
First Time for Many.

Why is it the first time for many…? Well… Ángel slept well for once. This is his best night of sleep in the rally. No nightmares, no nothing. Probably some discomfort in the Aurora’s back seat, but, not much else.

This was also Ana’s first morning in a while without a Hangover.

For Andrés, it was the first night in which he didn’t make his Pokémon Match with Ángel, as mentioned in last stage.

For the other two though, it would be nothing more than an average night.

And an average (and therefore, rather boring) morning too. At least, they wouldn’t suffer anymore, right…?

Well, remember they have wipers permanently on since Stage 6.They, apart from not being able to solve it… Have another issue, which they discovered not long after Andrés turned the engine on…

Andrés:“W-W-What is that screeching ?”
Ana:“Wipers ? I mean… Could be. Don’t all wipers screech ?”
Josué:“Wrong assumption. They only do if the blades are worn out.”
Ángel:“I don’t think they sell spares here… Do they ?”

As they left Drur, and headed for the mountains, the screeching started to slowly but certainly gain loudness… Andrés, who was driving this time, felt stressed with it not long after the opera began. Soon the stress would go on to affect Ana, Josué, Tomás… And before they reached the halfway point of the Stage, even Ángel would be tired of that noise as well. Sadly, one of the things Ángel didn’t expect to happen was this… So he had no spares in case something like that happened…

After said halfway point, the trip would be as dull as ever. Apart from seeing the crashed motorbike of Cunning Stunts, not much else happened during this stage. Sadly, no cassette wanted to be played today either… so they had to enjoy the opera which was gratefully delivered by the windscreen wipers for their displeasure. Luckily, by the time they got to Hofrost, the mood improved.

Reconciliation Time.

Ángel:“Alright, team…!”
Josué:“That’s my line !”
Ángel (giggling):“Извини…!”
(Извини (Izvini) = “Sorry”)
Josué:“Anyway… I think we should all, for once, separate to see what we can do. We’ll meet up at… What time is it now Ángel ?”
Ángel:“Well… We woke up at approximately 1-Sun-60, started at 2-Sun, and now I think it’s… Just past 3-Sun, maybe 4-Sun, my estimations may be wrong.”
Josué:“OK, hopefully there are clocks here. We meet up here at 10-Sun, or 1-Moon.”

Tómas sat up Camp with Andrés. Josué would go sightseeing. The ones to truly pay attention to are Ana and Ángel.

Let’s start with Ana. She needed to go to the bathroom, for an obvious reason, before finding out that Chantal was in the bathroom, crying. This was the turning point for Ana. She had to express her sympathy, and it worked out well…

…at the same time, Andrés became Ana’s Mailman. He’d not only ask Jan if the nearby lake was safe for swimming, but would also help Jan set up camp, releasing some stress from him. Andrés felt like he was becoming more of a messenger than anything else… But he didn’t felt annoyed by it.

In the end, the two blue-haired girls, of which one of them wasn’t blue-haired much more, were starting to reconcile with each other…

The ones who wouldn’t reconcile, however, were Ángel and his VINDICTIVE Mind Reading…

Quite some time later…
Mind Reader’s Hell Continues.

Little did Ángel know, or even thought he’d have a Mind Reading Incident today. He, for once, wasn’t exactly worried today. He seemed very happy today, actually.

That happiness would be thrown out of the window, as soon as he started to approach the Shift Happens team.

He thought it was best to apologize due to the constant MRIs… Plus telling Kivenaal in such an explicit way what he saw in his mind.

Ángel:“H-Hello… Again.”
Kivenaal:“Ángel ? What is it ?”
Ángel:“Nothing. I just wanted to apologize after the incidents during Stages 5 and 6 of this rally.”
Lauren:“What incidents ?”
Ángel:sigh“Uhm… You know. Manikihali… Malavera and Kivenaal all know about what happened when I came to them at Lauda.”
Lauren:“What happened there ?”
Manikihali:“He read Kiva’s Mind. Seeing him struggle so badly made me realize he ain’t exactly normal with that Mind Reading.”
Manikihali:“Just be aware, you’ll have more, from what I can assume.”
Ángel:“I-I… I already know that… I just don’t know exactly… when. But, anyway… Yeah, I wanted to…”

And then it struck. Guess who of the +10 member team did it hit. Manikihali. Precisely the person Ángel was trying to apologize with first… and sadly, the shock would come back, after he heard this:

“You shouldn’t read the mind of someone who can see the future !”

Ángel attempted to reply by telepathy, but the pain the Mind Reading caused was so distracting that he just couldn’t send the message…

Luckily, something did actually translate, because Ángel, after 5 seconds of agony, would scream:

(Pronounciation: Naze watashina no! ? Naze imana no! ?
Translated:“Why me ?!? Why NOW ?!?”)

The Ring managed to catch that. Whoever got the message realized things weren’t exactly as they seemed… Because while Ángel would be reading someone’s mind, it would be wrong to assume he did it at will…

This first incident would last only about 20 seconds. But still, Ángel started to cry. The left lens of those round glasses got wet by the tears, and not long after, Ángel would start standing up, and walked away… Without saying anything else.

As he was walking away though, he’d crash into Trevor, from the Highway Hooligans, from behind.

Trevor:“Hey, look who is here… Aren’t you…”
Ángel:“…Ángel Yukobaiyaroslavl, from the Firulais…”

Ángel would still have tears in his face, but Trevor would notice more that particularly long surname…

Trevor:“Anngel Yuko… Yuko-what ?”
Ángel:“Uhh… J-Just… Juuuust… Just call me Ángel.”

It was then when Trevor noticed the tears in Ángel’s face. He wasn’t exactly as bad as he was just after the Mind Reading… But he was struggling.

Trevor:“You look bummed. Anything happened to you ? You seemed to have some joy yourself a few moments ago… And, as far as I’m concerned, you don’t even smile that much.”
Ángel:“N-N-No, Nothing happened…”

A tiny pause happened before Ángel had to admit the truth…

Ángel:“OK, no… Actually, things did happen. I had a bit of an incident with Shift Happens, the hosts, back at Lauda… And then I had another one at Björnes… And now I’ve just had another…”
Trevor:“You shouldn’t mess with them… Cody already got us in trouble because of that.”
Cody:“That I did what ?”
Ángel:“What ? How ? Why ?”
Trevor:“He messed their entire stage up. Put electrical tape on the cameras of that bus, and that didn’t allow them to move for a while… Jayde said he did something to insult us, but, we yet have to know what…”
Ángel:“I… I now understand why I was told to NOT crash into that bus. H-Hopefully it doesn’t happen… I think I feel ready to drive for next stage. And if not, for the one after…”
Trevor:“Well… Anything else you want to talk about…?”

Ángel saw this as a perfect chance to recur to Janne… Little did he know, the occult abilities of Janne were probably fake.

Ángel:“Yeah… I have a question… Do you know where is the camp of the Hillbilly Rollers ? The swedes ?”

Trevor gave Ángel some indications on how to go there. It wasn’t a long walk anyway.

Ángel:“Ahhh, OK… Well, ありがとう, and have a nice day ! Wish you best of luck with the hosts !”
(ありがとう (Arigatō) = “Thanks”)

Ángel knew the hosts were relatively understanding. But given how he was told to not crash under any circumstance with that Bus before the driver’s meeting, he felt a bit intimidated.

In any case, Ángel walked towards the Hillbilly Rollers’ IP.

Just before arriving though, he heard something go “bang” behind him. When he turned around, he found out that the Highway Hooligans were having a beer shower… As if the cans of beer they just opened decided to blow up…

“It’s either Jayde’s Punishment… Or them storing them in the freezer for some reason…”, he innocently thought.

Eventually, he arrived at the Hillbilly Rollers’ camp. He approached to Janne.

Ángel:“Uhhhh… Guten Morgen ?”
(“Good Morning” in German.)
Janne:“Did you mean God eftermiddag ?”
(“Good Afternoon” in Swedish.)
Ángel:“I… Y-yeah, I don’t know swedish… Anyway. Are you Janne ?”
Janne:“Indeed. And, you, as far as I’ve hurd, are the one who tackled Marie at Björnes, right ?”

“At least not everyone is recognizing me as the Mind Reader”, Ángel thought.

(Да (“Da”) = “Yes”)
Janne:“Anything you need ?”
Ángel:“Да, да. I’ve Hurd you’re into occult stuff. That sounds to magic to me. So, I want to have some sort of cure for my Mind Reading… You may know what I’m talking about, if you’ve paid enough attention at camp…”
Janne:“I don’t know what you’re talking about… But, it sounds interesting…”

Ángel thought Janne was his savior. Finally, the 13 -maybe even more- years’ search for A CURE seemed to be over…

Until Ángel had his second Mind Reading Incident of the Day. This one was shorter, but, long enough for Ángel to realize Janne’s abilities were fake… Maybe Ángel hadn’t hurd of the salty prank on Chantal… But he at least found out by himself.

Janne saw the agony too.

Janne:“You… You OK ?”
Ángel:“I… I think I am.”
Janne:“Anyway… Want a cure or not…?”

Ángel gave some thought before ultimately denying the offer… He’d look for a cure later (although he doesn’t know that a cure for his condition doesn’t exist [!]). He later continued walking thru camp… feeling the need to meet new people…

(It seemed as if he, for today, wasn’t conscious… Wasn’t it best to NOT get close to people ?)

He eventually approached to the Spy Kids, this stage’s winners.

“Hm… A Touareg… I didn’t expect this… Oh, and it’s a V10… And a TDI !”, he thought, with excitement. “Hopefully, this doesn’t go as badly as some of the other meet-ups…”, he added in his mind.

(こんにちは!(Kon’nichiwa) = “Hello/Hi”)
Megumi:“こんにちは、どなたでしょうか ?”
(Kon’nichiwa, donatadeshou ka? - Hello, who are you ?)

“I… Didn’t expect another Japanese person here… She looked french !”, he thought.

Shay:“Look, Megumi, you found another Japanese Person !”
Megumi:“I know, right ? Anyway, what’s you name…?”
Ángel:“Ángel. Ángel Yukobaiyaroslavl.”
Petra:“That’s a long name ! Yukobai…”
Ángel:“You can just call me Ángel Yuko. Russian-Japanese. Let’s not complicate ourselves too much with that surname…”
Amanecer:“You like our ride ?”
Ángel:“Yeah, it’s awesome… I’ve seen Touaregs, but, never a V10 TDI…”

Fun Fact: Ángel initially thought of buying a Diesel Aurinko Wagon instead of the one they have. It would’ve been a more comfortable car to sleep in, at least.

Petra:“I’ve heard someone with an Eyepatch reads minds…”

“Here we go again…!”, he thought, before proceeding to point at himself and nod with his head.

Petra:“How does that work ?”

This time, it would be the person who was talking to Ángel the one to be interrupted mid-sentence. Ángel would suffer, AGAIN, reading Petra’s Mind. This one lasted 20 seconds, again, but, inevitably, he was suffering.

And, yes, everyone saw it.

Shay:“You… Are you alright…?”
Ángel:“Y…Yeah… I… That happens to me often whenever I read minds…”
Shay:“You look tense.”
Ángel:“Again… Happens to me…”

This time, Ángel would say about his condition…

Ángel:“I do it unwillingly… I can’t control it…”

Then Ángel remembered some truly brutal words from his older sister… “You can’t control your powers, then you’re a Useless Yumeisotitanian”…

Not being able to control the powers you have…

…it was a CURSE. A thing which he despised. And yet it didn’t have a cure… All he could do was attempt to survive with it, like it or not… And, seriously. His mind reading has got him in quite big trouble. Remember, he was almost arrested at Menes because he read the mind of a Local… And scared people off. He had struggled with this issue ever since he was 11 years old… And the misery just seemed to continue since.

Ángel:“I-I gotta go…”
Shay:“So quickly ?”
Ángel:“Yeah… Got to do some shopping…”
Shay:“Oh… OK. Have a nice day ! Good luck with the Mind Reading !”

As Ángel left, they had themselves a bit more of chatter.

Megumi:“I hope he’s alright”
Shay:“Yeah, it looks like he’s having a migraine…”

Ángel going shopping was… Actually a bit true. He felt like buying an Ice Cream would help him gain some good mood back.

However, while eating it… He would read the mind of a police officer… Out of ALL people possible, it had to be THAT.

What’s worse ? He didn’t even got the chance to enjoy his Ice Cream (because when the incident happened, Ángel fell to the ground and so did the Ice Cream)… He was on a meltdown… He had again, scared locals, and again, got in trouble with the police… This time, he decided to scarper rather than to talk about things… He had enough with the Mind Reading Incidents today…

He came back to camp as fast as he went from it to downtown Hofrost. He then had an idea… An Idea which, sadly, would mean his team wouldn’t have a ride for a while…

Around 1-Moon-10.
A Solution to Mind Reader’s Hell has been found !

Josué:“Yeah, I had some fun trying to read in Aetheriian… How about you guys ?”
Ana:“I’ve made a new friend.”
Tómas:“I bought some clothes…”
Andrés:“And I not only did that, but also helped Jan with his tent, and bought some more supplies.”
Josué:“Hehehehe, yeah, now we can go back to camp and…”

They would all get shocked by the fact their car had disappeared… How did that happen ? Did the “Not Worth Stealing” sticker on the back window work for nothing ?



Ángel got himself on the wheel of the Aurora, before driving thru Hofrost, hoping none of his teammates (or, actually, any of the other people) saw him.

After a rather extensive drive to what could be said to be the Outskirts of the Outskirts, Ángel stopped somewhere isolated enough from population… Why ? Well… He thought that, if he isolated from people enough, he wouldn’t have any mind reading incidents… And, partially, he was right.

See, his mind reading has a radius of reach. Said radius is moderately large. But, if no minds (aka, Nobody) are on said radius, he can’t have a mind reading incident…

Take in mind, he would have headaches, truly brutal ones, like, mega migraine level… The fallout from the Crisis was still present in him… But for most of the night, he’d chill out, listening to music to ignore those headaches, practicing some Pokémon, looking at pictures of his family, and more, parked in a place just out of town… Soon, his mood was restored, and he didn’t felt like any more MRIs would affect him, so he returned back, late that night.


Josué:“Look what’s arriving…”
Ana:“Oh… Is that Ángel ?”
Josué:“…and I who was thinking that someone stole our car…!”
Ángel:“…Evening !”
Andrés:“We are pleased… And angry with you, simultaneously. Sadly, you’ve missed dinner…”
Ángel:“Don’t worry, I’ll be OK…”
Tómas:“What happened ?”
Ángel:“I… Better tell that tomorrow. I feel like it would be best to do so… Because I don’t feel exactly ready… Like, if I “stole” the car from you, and didn’t come back until a while later, guess how badly I must have been these few hours…”

Ana hadn’t mentioned who her new friend was… At least, until then…

Ana:“Ángel… I don’t want to admit it.”
Ángel:“Admit what ? That you treated me badly for these last few days ?”
Ana:“…Chantal and I may be becoming friends…”

Ángel’s smile was the peak of the day for the Firulais… And the Night would still have something else to feature…

Shady “Trade “Deals””.

Ana and Andrés walked thru camp, late in the night, after most people were asleep. Ángel was the only other person in the Firulais who was still semi-awake, trying to sleep in the Aurora’s back seat.

Ana (whispering):“Why are we doing this ?”
Andrés (also whispering):“We need some wiper blades… And I know from who may we steal them from…”
Ana (whispering):“I… Feel so bad, yet so good with that idea…”

They would go back to the Aurora, and remove one of the Wiper Blades. That would wake Ángel up… No need to tell, they were whispering.

Ángel:“W-What are ya doing…?”
Andrés:“We are stealing someone’s wiper…”
Ángel:“Who’s ? If you tell me it’s the…”
Andrés:“The Black Wagon over there…”

On a normal day… Ángel would disagree on doing such thing… But given Marie was the one who broke their beer… He couldn’t resist and joined in as well… Planning something else to add salt to the wound. As always, whispering.

Ángel:“I wonder if I can help and screw with them a bit.”
Ana:“How ?”
Ángel:“I feel like we could… Uhh… I’ll think of something.”
Ana:“…I know. Let’s paint their car…”
Ana:“What ? Weren’t you an artist ? You’re the one who made my T-shirt !”
Ángel:“Alright… But what could I paint…?”

While Andrés and Ana stole one wiper blade of the IP, and put the Aurora’s worn out one in it’s place, Ángel thought about what to paint…

With a very thick brush, and a lot of black paint, he’d paint the hood… Then he painted some white stripes with a brush which was a lot slimmer. He didn’t thought of anything better which at the same time wouldn’t be obvious. Ángel usually painted with spray cans, but as this was a mission made with stealth, he tried to be as silent as possible and used acrylic paint instead. As a result, his job had still a few tiny bits of yellow here and there. But the end result was an IP which looked marginally better… At least, from the outside… The inside of the hood was still yellow…

You know… The guy sometimes needed to screw with people at times… But he wanted to do it in such a level it wouldn’t necessarily offend the other person, being more of a friendly prank, sometimes even a favour.

Would Marie consider it as such, though ? Time would tell, as Ana, Andrés, and Ángel went back to their tents (or, to the car, if you are Ángel) and enjoyed the rest of the sleep time they had available.

As always, Collabs open.

(Damn, I realized I now have to explain about Ángel’s lore next time…)



(Yes, one, soon to be two, levels old now. But I will play catch up now when I have some days off. Co-operation with @Madrias .)

Hoping to get a solution like two years ago, Janne was approaching Jayde of Team Shift happens.

“Uhm, hello Jayde…”, Janne said while slowly approaching him. “Well, you have seen dyre wrecking cars, I guess…and it might have been our fault too, but…when was the last time you saw a car being wrecked by a spider?”

Jayde smirks. “Last time… Rental SUV came in completely wrecked. Insurance company wanted a damage quote so they could justify totaling the car. Turns out, the driver was arachnophobic, and a tarantula had gotten inside. They dropped the sun-visor to check their makeup, spider falls in their lap, SUV becomes a highway pinball off of six other cars before finding a bridge support.”

“That sounds high tech”, Janne said. “70s car, 70s way of doing it, I say. So, do you want a glimpse of…how to do it the old school way?”, he said and pointed towards the IP.

Jayde chuckles. “Do you mean 1970’s old school, or do you really mean 3251 After the War of Magic?” He then motions toward his right arm.

“I’ll need a little help this time. You’ll have to crush the glass if the windshield’s broken. Can’t do that with my right arm in a cast.”

“It might be 1971 years after someone blamed the holy spirit instead of the mailman, or 3251 after that war or…man you should read some of the books I managed to find on my grandfathers attic, they do explain a lot, but will leave you with even more questions, and…”, Janne started to explain to Jayde.


“…Oh well”, Janne continued and pointed to Marie. “Unfortunately this spider managed to walk on the car when that fat wreck over there was holding an axe and…”, he pointed to the interior, “…we managed to do an almost invisible repair there, except for all the visible duct tape, which honestly speaking is all of the repair, but, well, I can’t repair the windshield with duct tape.”, he said.


“No, you only managed to cut your goddamned fingers so there are also blood stains on the interior”, Andreas sighed.

“Anyway, I think I have a solution”, Janne said and emptied a vodka bottle.

“HEY, THAT WAS MINE!”, Marie said.

“It was probably someone elses to start with”, Janne said. “AND I NEED THIS TO COPE WITH YOUR MOTHERFUCKING MADNESS!”, he continued and drank the last of it. Then he put the empty bottle on a rock, crushed it with a hammer and asked Jayde if it was enough or if he had to empty so many bottles that he would be drunk enough to appreciate Marie’s ideas before there could be a windshield repair done.

Jayde looks over the pile of glass shards, then over the windshield and how much glass was all over the interior.

“I think that might be enough glass. I’ll add to it - I need to take something for the pain anyway…”

Jayde quietly rummages in his bag and grabs a pale green bottle, downing the contents before breaking the green glass along with what Janne had already provided. He crouches down and sets a bowl on the ground, collecting up as much of the glass as he could within reason. After a few seconds, he looks over at the windshield, holding the bowl on his right palm before muttering a quiet incantation. The glass in the bowl begins to glow white-hot, before a flash causes it to vanish, the windshield suddenly becoming one whole sheet of glass again, this time with slight pale green hints throughout the glass where one of Jayde’s supplied glass chips had fused in and left a reminder of his work.

“Need the interior cleaned as well?”

“Thanks. Well, wouldn’t mind it, it will probably take care of the butter residues if nothing else”, Janne grumbled.


“If you would not upset that stupid smurf all the time, the stupid smurf would not be smurfing around all the time and smurf all our stuff”, Andreas tried to explain to her.

Jayde laughs.

“And here, I thought you got pranked by the Hooligans. I’ll clean that up, then we can figure out some form of repayment for the energy cost.”

Jayde uses a familiar cleaning spell, last used on the Hillbilly Rollers’ pink van after the mercy bush incident. With a flash, decades of dirt and dust and grime vanish, the butter disappears from the air vents, and some of the other smells are lifted.

“I will sure find out a way”, Janne said, with an air of mystery in his voice. “AND WHATEVER I FIND OUT, MAKE SURE YOU WON’T RUIN IT!”, he said and pointed to Marie.

“I haven’t done anything!”, she said.

“No, but you were probably going to…”

Jayde nods softly. “Food works. I’d request alcohol, but I suspect I know where it’s all gone.”

“So…”, Janne said. “What do you think about our ride this year, spare for the broken windshield then. A show winner a little over 40 years ago”, he said, without trying to hide his pride. “Maybe not so much now…”

“Well,” Jayde admits, “if I thought I’d fit in it, I’d drive it. Granted, at my size… I’d have to turn the poor thing into a convertible.”

“Yeah, the common panel van struggle”, Janne said. “A divider wall where you would like to have your seat. Oh well, having…someone…mid bench does not help with the space either.”

“I HEARD YOU!”, Marie said.

“Happy that you listen to what I say for once”, Janne answered.

“The bus is a lot better than our… First year’s choice. Could still be better, but this is at least good,” Jayde admits. “At least no one’s stuck with a pair of gear-sticks in their crotch.”

“Well, if you can cure seats with saturday night pukes, eh, or even worse things… on them using magic, the choice of a bus all of a sudden makes sense”, Janne said.

Jayde smiles. “It’s a used city bus, so, yeah, it’s something that made a lot more sense here. Lower speeds. Lots of space. Relatively comfortable when it’s not driven by an idiot.”

“Oh well”, Janne said. “Thanks a lot for the repairs, I hope that if I get back to you it will be for a more fun reason…”

“Not a problem. It’s reasonable to ask one of the magic users when someone has decided to axe-murder your car,” Jayde mentions. “Just… When you’ve figured out a form of payment, let me know.”

“No problems”, Janne said. “Because I guess you don’t want an annoying crew member as payment…”

“I HEARD YOU!”, Marie said.

Jayde starts laughing. “We don’t have the room. Rukari volunteered to stay behind so Inaelus could go with us, but we have 11 people and 11 seats. And she wouldn’t want to ride with us - We don’t have any alcohol onboard.”

“Oh well, I guess I will have to check the vehicle through for tomorrow now”, Janne said. “But thanks a lot and see you!”

Jayde nods and heads toward the bus. “You’re welcome. Maybe next time…” Jayde pauses and gives a smirk, pulling his staff out of his bag.

“Next time Marie grabs the axe, maybe it’ll become a snake.”

Jayde taps his staff twice on the dirt, then puts it back away.



Shitbox Rally - Stage 9

Stage 9: Hofrost to Talrem

Weather: Mid teens, strong showers, very windy

The road out of Hofrost is generally fine, but a bit narrow in general. On either side, the road is flanked by mountain ranges, increasing in height as we go along, with a small river running alongside the road. Along the way, we drive across a bridge over a larger river, about 30 km away from our destination.

Cunning Stunts lose a couple of minutes when they change out their burned out headlight bulb, so they can be seen in the rain.

The Interceptors, on the other hand, slide a little in the rain and pop a tire. Two “new” used tires are put on the rear axle and they’re on the move again.

For Straight Outta Seratos, it’s just a routine matter of changing a windshield wiper after realizing the one they had did a better job at fouling up the window instead of cleaning it.

Machinas Con Passione has to slow way down after their attempt to fix the windshield wipers results in a near-total electrical failure. After some clever use of chewing gum, paper clips, a pen spring, and a jumper cable, the car is running again, but they’ll have to push on to the next camp if they hope to keep up with the group.

The Troublesome Trio and Theo get to enjoy a quick pit stop to figure out why all the lights are flickering. An hour later and a new alternator installed, the lights are steady, and as an added bonus, it no longer reeks like sulfur in the car.

What’s more fun than changing a tire in the rain? Team Fuist knows the answer - It’s changing two tires in the rain.

Ramjet has to stop long enough to change out a windshield wiper so the driver can see where they’re going.
(@JCurtiss96, @Leone)

It’s clear that this is the beginning of a mountain pass, right about the time that we arrive at Talrem.

This little village houses 28 people, with their handful of houses, a few farms, and a nice bakery.

Our camp is the village. The train is parked at a crude station made out of wooden planks set up near the track - They see a train maybe once a week in normal service, so we’re not blocking anything important. It’s clear that our presence is a little overwhelming to the locals, but they’re trying their best to be accommodating to the crews. The good news is, there are some facilities, though they are a bit primitive - Some wooden outhouses for toilets, and some medieval-style open-air bathtubs.

Spreadsheet is here:


Stage 9: A Savage Business Plan

including Highway Hooligans by @Madrias, Hillbilly Rollers by @Knugcab, Firulais by @Angelustyle, Fuist by @Djadania, Honey, I bought a Sh!tbox by @Rambow, mentioned only: Shift Happens by @Madrias


“Damn, Chanty!”


Now, that Jan was away with her, too, both crawled out of their tent. As Thomas slept more or less for half of the previous day, he got up early and had the car already jacked up, with using some planks to have a solid ground that you better not asked where he got these from this time.

“What are you doing there this early?”

“Fixed the window you smashed and now the handbrake. So… it seems you had a very short, or let´s say … eventful night?”

“DON´T SMILE THAT DIRTY! Chanty, where are you going?”

“To Andrea and Pi, my shower buddies. I mean, I won´t go alone.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but after doing some repairs and becoming dirty, I had to make the experience that there are none here. You can wash your hands, that´s all, or maybe hold your hair into the sink.”

“Naaaaaaaaaw! Damn.”

“Could you two please prepare breakfast, I AM HUNGRY AFTER WORK!”

“You are not the only one, dad…”

“JAN! Your job then! I don´t trust Chantal, she will propably eat half of what we have just while preparing.”

When they wanted to proceed to the starting line, Thomas started the engine.


Thomas turned off the engine and stepped out of the car, walking in a circle with visible despair. Then the withnessed how Chanty tried to sneak back from the front of the car, holding something… silver.

“Chanty? Is that a wrench? WAIT! Don´t tell me you have been knocking on the grille to make me think the engine is gone! JUST DON´T!”

“Eh… I would NEVER, I mean, …eeh…”

In the bush behind, giggling was audible, and Thomas found Cody there.

“Let me guess: That was your idea?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah, really great, when I would have started I might have rolled over my daughter, idiot!”

“You sure that this works with your rear wheels still jacked up? I mean, my grade in physics wasn´t great and I could be wrong, but I am just asking…”

“Ah, CRAP! I knew I forgot something!”

Cody and Chanty could not hold it any longer and bursted in laughter, so that Thomas couldn´t really be mad at them, especially since it was such a pleasant sight to see his daughter having fun and being honestly happy at the moment.

The stage itself was not very spectacular. Thomas was driving fast, but not reckless, and they had to do a fuel stop since the V6 didnt generate power out of nothing. But the roads became bumpier in the last third of the stage, and Thomas managed to hit a pothole very hard, causing the CD (after the cassettes were all played through) to start hanging.



But it had no use, Chantal was already crying from being scared to death by that loud and, well, eerie sound. Thomas had to stop and let navigator Jan change from the passenger to the rear seats in order to calm her panic attack down.

“Thomas, I don´t think you should judge her! Weren´t you afraid of tube radios?”

“Jan, that comparison is unfair, because I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD! Plus, that weird sound when it wasn´t warm and that scary glowing of that thing were really frightening.”

“You were what? HAHAHAHA!”

Finally Chanty forgot to be scared of the scratched CD because she now focussed imagining her father being a scared little boy…

Upon arrival, their “host family” served them some kind of soup. and the portion size was… not exactly what would fill the stomach of both Thomas and Chantal. So Thomas remembered that he could buy sausages from the train, but no coal, as that was sold out. Even the bakery had no coal to sell - they needed that for their own bread oven, leaving Thomas behind with some frustration. And as he already drank beer, Jan was outside exploring nature and Chanty nowhere to be seen again, he couldn´t drive to the nearest larger town where he possibly could get coal.

But Thomas would not be Thomas if he just accepted his fate, a trait that might also grow one time on Chanty, too… by seeing the bath oven, he remembered the WM66 washing machine from GDR, without automatic heater - you had to put that off when having the right temperature, there was a thermometer for it. Thomas used it to boil sausages and wash dishes… and the bath oven in their host family´s bath was tempting. But since Chanty was complaining that she might soon run out of clothes (she won´t objectively, but… its a girl, in the end), he also thought he might be able to fit a drum in it.

The first effort with a wiper motor failed, as this was underpowered. But then Janne entered.

“Here are two beer, as you asked. So, what´s the matter?”

“Can you weld?”

“Looking at that sad fragment of a Primus in front of the house, I think I can at least better than you.”

“You´ll get that back. Anyway, can you repair a defective alternator regulator?”

“I think so. And how should I weld here? With what?”

Thomas connected the battery of his car with two starting cables and an electrode he got out of his toolbox, and a visibly impressed Janne noddeed, and asked for some good sunglasses.
While Thomas boiled sausages, Janne tried to get the alternator back to work, and the host family was thankfully not present because they were all out on the fields working after they waited for the team to give them the keys…
After bathing, cooking and dishwashing, it was soon time for the fourth function: The washing machine… Chanty and also Jan left behind a lot to wash, and Thomas was running out of stuff, too…

Chanty was outside, and crowded by cats and dogs, which she assumed were strays (propably not, but… its not that Chanty could know that), and the hungry animals cuddled with her.


“I know… but… I have nothing left of the sausages… because… I was hungry msyelf.”

“Meow :(”

"And, … I dont have any money to buy you something.

“Meeeeooow. :(”

“I know, I am useless, I am sorry…”

A desperate Chantal was crying again, when Ana passed by.

“What´s wrong?”

“The animals are hungry and I have no food for them… and no money to get some.”

“Oh, well, they don´t look starving, Chantal.”


“AGAIN? Didn´t you just eat?”

“I am at the point I would eat Kivas fried scorpions again…”

“That can´t be hunger, it´s something psychological - you need distraction. Well, I was just looking at these great small and windy roads. What a perfect place for some spirited driving…”

“You are right. The locals can´t really use that with their ancient shitboxes. They barely make it to 60”

“Oh, Chanty, I got an idea. I am going into the nearest town to shop. Should I get you some taxi customers?”


“Yeah, one hot 5 kilometer ride plus the way back, 500 Holsian Krona, and you can feed a lot of animals then, I guess. I`ll buy animal food in advance for a 1000 Krona since I guess you will get at least two passengers here. I will drive against you, since I want some fun and the others propably, too”.

“But… with what car? And how did you calculate the price?”

“Yours? I mean, you can drive, can´t you? I will tell some in my team to distract Thomas, so you can get the keys. I guess he leaves them openly somewhere in the house you are accomodated? And come on, just look at the store prices of common things and put it in a fair relation then, so the 500 Krona are more or less … 30 dollars in today´s purchase power. Or 27 Euro, if you don´t know even that excange rate.”

“Yeah, sorry, you know that I am dumb. We need to look for the keys then…”

“Do you expect me now to tell you, naaah, you are smart? No, Chantal, I won´t lie to please people. I honestly got to like you a bit but it´s not that you`re smart, but you have friends and family to help you, so it´s not that much of an issue. You are good at many other things. Ah well, I´ll give you company, you can dye my hair then, because you did THAT as good as a professional hairdresser, really. I think that blue was nice, makes me more individual.”

“So… you like it?”

“Escuchame, Chantal. You are begging to be liked. I don´t need that. I just want to be respected. And you should, too. Almost everyone here in the camp likes you, and I got an idea why now, but the majority also makes fun of you. I would be really upset if that happened to me. Although, you showed me that respect doesn´t need to be deserved by intimidating others, and I am grateful for that. But damn, stop focussing on likes and let us get the car keys now.”

Where the keys were, was also the action right now…

“THOMAS! Isn´t that a bit hot?”

“Yeah well, you can´t just make a 30 degree fire… Fire is hot or it´s not. I better put that out now… but the water is still hot. Damn, I knew there was a difference to the WM66 and it´s the fact the heater isn´t electric but a fire made with wood.”

“Your fault for letting the grabbing stick sliding into the drum. Whose stuff is in there now?”

“Chantys… OH NO. She will kill me if we don´t get it out in time.”

“Yeah Thomas, I can see that.”

“HIDE OUTSIDE. I WILL LET THE ALTERNATOR GO FULL FORCE SO THAT THE DRUM THROWS IT ALL OUT BY THE OPENING! Stay away a bit, since it spills some water that is propably at least 60 degrees…”

“Thomas… are you…yes your are. This does not sound good”

“And it´s making some nasty vibrations… OH LOOK THERE GOES A SCREW.”

“And there… a weld… ONE OF YOURS BY THE WAY. The side that I welded is still holding up, not that this helps now, but I think it is worth a mention. I AM OUT OF HERE, SEE YOU OUTSIDE!”

With a BANG the bathing oven more or less disassembled itself, with a lot of smoke and steam spreading all around the house, thankfully, Thomas jumped out of the window in time and joined Janne in a safe distance.

“Alternators have surprising amounts of power, hm?”

“Yes, they have. And now, Thomas?”

“Collecting my daughters stuff, … if we can find it.”

“Some of it might be in the stratosphere now…drifting pink unicorn t-shirts might not be the perfect motivation for aliens to search for intelligent life on Holsia…”


“Why do you think it was me? It could as well have been Janne.”


“The power of genes is surprising, isn´t it?”

Janne grinned a bit and looked at an amused Ana, a Chantal close to a nervous breakdown and a Thomas slowly realizing that his invention had a weak spot - it lacked a correct balancing mass.
Chantal was … well, not amused that some of her clothes were indeed washed to hot and changed from size [no, I am not allowed to reveal that in public] to size 38, maybe 40.


“well, doesn´t Andrea took some of yours last stage? I mean, maybe it fits to her, she is really small.”

“Hm, or… Ana, since you have blue hair now again, you might like that too…”

“Nah, Chantal, I am not your barbie doll… I don´t think that… EEH, stop dragging me, heeeeelp… ok, yes, I can at least try, if you want…”

In the end, Ana was not sure what to think.

“Hm. I definitely look more individual now, but … I don´t want to be associated with being cute, I prefer being seen as tough, but I also feel like I am going through a change of my mentality in this rallye, guess what? I`ll take that stuff and see how my team thinks of it, feels less wrong than I thought.”

Ana and Angel, who was very … irritated to see Ana with now really blue hair again and even Chantals style, went off to advertize their racing taxi event, as Angel was immediately in when he heard that it was to feed animals and help Chantal. They returned two hours later.

“So, here I am. A bunch of people will come over to be driven by you.”

“All right.”

“You look scared.”

“I am… I am not good at taking responsibility for others…”

“You do all that for feeding foreign animals, believe me Chantal, you ARE good at it. Just don´t try to crash and it´s fine.”

“But … if another car comes?”

“Here is absolutely not a lot of traffic. But we can block the road, sure. But with what?”

They finally asked other teams to assist them with a little help, using their cars as road block and telling the traffic to wait a bit until the two race drivers arrive. They asked the team Fuist, as they both might be interessed to assist as they actually are race drivers and might enjoy doing the favor without telling anyone what Chantal and Ana are up to, and the team Honey, I bought a shitbox listened, as they were standing nearby, but Clara was busy with doing some checks on their ride, so Vivian smiled at Chantal, as she saw her giving her father a lecture about bringing the spider to the camp and triggering anxiety of others and thought of that as very brave.

“Oh, some wild things your boomer daddy won´t appreciate? I am in for sure! But, what´s in for us, then?”

“So, you would drive with the team Fuist and secure the road for us?”

“Yes, but there is one thing. Clara just won´t do that for nothing. She is VERY competetive and just wouldn´t help the competition… and a bit of a loner, unlike you.”

“But… I am totally broke… all I can offer is… well, myself for whatever she wants to do with me, or…”

“Well, maybe a ride with your car is tempting, as our Pablato is really slow. The one you got there is definitely more fun.”

“But… it´s my dad´s ride… I am not sure if I can do that, he will kill me if something happens…”

“Ah, come on. If you crash, it´s the same problem, and Clara is a great driver. In addition, I assume your dad loves you despite being some oldfashioned dinosaur, at least from what I saw of him to this day.”

“So… eww… ok.”

“Yep, don´t be anxious, it is not really a loss if someone crashes into our Pablato, but Clara will definitely not abuse your car too hard, she is a cold loner but doesn´t want to cause you trouble by being too reckless”

, added Vivian.

Louis turned towards Vivian, visibly relieved.

“So, you are facing the, well, race track then at the finish line, while I am a few meters off in front to warn other cars in time to slow down? Would be great, because my Fuist might be a cheap mass-marked trash vehicle, but it is inherited and it means a bit to me, so I would not want to have it damaged.”

“Sure, grab yourself two camping chairs and some coffee and have a relaxed evening while dealing with irritated locals, we will be where the action is, but I need to talk to Clara first, she´s over there and I will need a bit of time for that, as she is really not the social one of us, depression hits hard”

Louis was a bit irritated.

“But, Vivian… Sorry to state it, but it seems obvious, Chantal is also depressed and the polar opposite, so, how is that possible?”

“Yes, because illnesses can have many different symptoms and outcomes, one is crying and overly emotional, another person can as well be introvert and a loner locking herself in from everyone else. I think it is totally wrong to imagine how somebody has to be just by suffering from a certain condition.”

“Oh, I did not want to be impolite…”

“Louis, that´s fine. Acutally it´s smart of you to ask me such questions instead of quietly judging my wife, Chantal or anybody else.”

Louis and Marceline got in their car and had a chatter, while Vivian talked to Clara, and Chantal and Ana prepared the cars. Taking the keys for the Primus was easy, as Thomas was again distracted with Janne, rebuilding the Nilfertinator 3000.

“So… let´s try again. By the way, Janne, what is that for a weird installation?”

“I added a fourth function. Marie is unbearable when she has no booze, and I need to do Jayde a favor that is… basically, providing him alcohol.”

“Eh… so?”

“It is now also usable as distillery. While your design was great idea, I was able to make it more efficient. These parts are no longer needed. Where to put them?”

“Ill throw it out of the window... well, of whats left of it.”


“Oh, sorry Angel, I didn´t see you. Are you ok?”

“Oh, e…e…eh yes, Thomas. You don´t need these parts anymore?”

“No, collected these from some backyard anyway, so that was junk we don´t need to bring back.”

“I think that I have use for them, thanks.”

Meanwhile, it was turning dark. The roadblocks were installed, and by now a group of 20 to 25 people waited for their ride. The first ones were a group of young men that were really irritated to see the driving done by blue-haired girls. While Chantal did all four runs herself, the drivers in the Aurora were changed after every run, first was Ana. She drove a bit reckless, not particulary skilled, but it went well in general. She finished behind Chanty, but the Holsians that were not used to speeds higher than 80 kph were equally excited or even terrified in both cars, needing to… look again at what they ate that day.

The second driver for the Firulais was Josué - and he had a calmer and smoother driving style, so the second run was offered at all “customers” with sensible stomach, with Chanty adapting to the speed of the Aurora to keep it balanced.

As some people asked for a “smooth” ride, after noticing the pale faces of the first group, the third run was almost identical to the second, with Josué and Chantal going for a sane risk level, but still entertaining the locals.

The fourth run was reserved for the daredevil passengers that wanted the scariest experience possible. Angel took over in the Aurora, asking Chanty to send the Primus as hard as she could, then he put on a cássette with Initial D music… not a good sign at all at this point.

Both cars drove hard at the limit, and even if Chanty was quite fast for her limited experience and generally shy nature, she was now so excited that she just focussed on beating Angel. The cars even banged some times, but the damage was superficial - for the Primus, just some rust was shoved off the panels, with similar effect on the Aurora. Every few seconds the lead changed, and the droning four-cylinder of the Aurora tried it´s best, but the Primus was just stronger uphill, but the last part of the improvised track was downhill, and with a totally insane drift, Angel finally passed his opponent and slided as first through the last corner, but Angel forgot about one thing: The Pablato blocking the way for security reasons, and the skidding Aurora missed it only by centimeters.

Clara was the first to react.

“Damn, there missed our insurance money.”

“There also goes some food again, what a waste”

, said Marceline. Vivian was not really willing to look at the dizzy passengers getting out of the cars and being busy with re-dining. Clara turned to Chantal, who lighted a cigarette to deal with what she just saw - Angel almost crashing hard.

“So, this was my part of the deal. Now it is your turn. Keys now.”

“They…are inside… left in the ignition, the engine is running to cool down…”

, answered Chanty, still visibly scared.

“Don´t worry, I will neither harm your car nor the passengers. As soon as they are ready, I will drive them back to the starting line. You can take a seat in the Pablato, Vivian will take you with her.”

Chantal then proceeded to Angel, who was also quite done with his nerves, but remaining professional and very polite to his passengers, as a Japanese should.

“Angel, Cigarette?”

“No, I don´t smoke… but, I could need a drink later, after my driving tasks are fulfilled. I might drive a bit slower then, if my passengers prefer this.”


, was the reply, and Angel might have nightmares for the next sleeping period from what had just almost happened.

Clara luckily didn´t go as fast as she could, but still had great fun pushing the barge hard on the six kilometers of Holsian backroads before handing it back to Chantal.

“Interessing. I could finally try it out one of these old sofas with some engine power. The engine is quite rough for such a luxury car, but the car feels light and really well balanced, while the suspension is on the comfortable size. Don´t these have adaptive dampers at last?”

“Hello, …eh, Clara, I guess? So, they weren´t ordered by the first owner. The whole car is configured very weird, has almost everything but no seat heaters or the suspension upgrades, which were usually the most common. BY THE WAY: CHANTAL JOLINA NILFERT! GET IN! NOW!”

“I… am dead now. Please…remember me…”

A desperately sobbing Chantal got inside with hanging shoulders as her father who appeared out of nowhere told her, and Angel stood there a bit helpless, not saying anything since he thought he could make the situation only worse. Inside the house, it became a bit loud and definitely more heated than the seats of the Primus ever could without the option ordered…

“You have done that for WHAT?”

“Stray animals… and if enough money is left, maybe feeding homeless. We saw some in the streets… we can not just drive here with such a large car, have fun and get drunk while others have to exist in poverty and remain hungry…please don´t yell at me, just hit me, that is easier for me…”

“Chantal, STOP! Have I ever hit you?”

“No, just thrown things…”

“Yes but not at you but at the wall!”

“Poor wall…poor cups, pillows and pencils… they suffered instead of me… you should aim at me now, with a hammer maybe…”

When Thomas was about to use the duct tape in order to silence his daughter for what she again started to say, Jannes voice was audible.

“READY! I have no idea what drama your freakshow causes again, but I will invite to … Holsian Midsommar now. We really distilled too much to fill that in the bottles we have.”


Jan went downstairs, complaining.

“What is this for a shitshow again? I WAS JUST BRINGING THE KIDS TO BED, NOW THEY ARE AWAKE AGAIN! Chanty, please help me calming them down again.”

The pair did its best to make the three kids of the host family, aged from 4 to 9, sleep in peace again, as their parents asked Jan to take a bit of care for them, since they worked as farmers and had to do repairs in the barns and were grateful that they got the time for it with Jan trying to be a nanny.

“Damn, you would be such a good father.”

“Don´t start this topic again.”

“But… you know, this is my dream. Our little happy family. Honestly, how am I doing at this task?”

“Fairly good, actually, you´re really a person that kids seem to like. They are sound asleep. I needed an hour for this.”

“So… how about names for our own kids then? But we need two of them, like all in my family have.”

"Wait what, what is Thomas second name then? I mean, yours is Jolina but I never heard his.



Thomas Peter Nilfert, coming back to continue the discussion with Chantal, just heard the last part about making him a grandfather, and he immediately freezed in shock, then just gasped for air and decided to get drunk as fast and hard as possible with the others that already enjoyed the freshly made booze.


Team Chitco
Part 3

Because there was draft that ended up not being saved, quick summary is in order and it covers what fun and interesting stuff might had happened that wasnt covered by some other team
This covers events from Stage 4 to Stage 8

Chanty misses her mom; Lauren is summoned

Salty situation
Talk Jakasxandra and Bong had afterwards can be summarised as “Well Chanty is weird, but so is obviously the case with half of this team. She is good person and enjoyable company.”
Bong, not known to be enjoyable company in most cases, could just agree with daughter.

After events of this Bong had utilised shovel again…to disdain of teammates that figured out the reason
Atleast he is going to have something to do: only time so far someone welcomed one of Marie`s pranks

Pi had experimented with some magic gloves without supervision of someone more qualified. As result, some travel bag was massively set on fire…she kinda got too scared to admit her wrongdoing
Consequences were Andrea`s clothing troubles which inspired talks about how Jakasxandra, for longest time, utilised clothes of good old Mrdja - because back then such was the case with Chitco fellas.
What was not of much bother is her smaller and slimmer build compared to said guy…
Either way, Andrea and Pi using oversized clothes that were generously borrowed was mostly the same, but with more…distinctive outfits.

Almost all links have names used as reference to why they are relevant to this team in particular…but are not limited to just interactions with Chitco team
Exception, while descriptive and informative, is likely too much so for some people and as such is SPOILERED below

SPOILER: Reference of "this"

Half-eaten cat


(Note: This part is Drur - Hofrost and hence inactual and delayed - I guess I kind of have a writers block now unfortunately - but I am trying to catch up…)

With the new windshield in place and all the butter smell gone, it could have been all fun and games - however, it was not. When all the other teams seemed to get a good start, the IP was standing still.

“Are you going to start this goddamned thing today?”, Marie asked Andreas.

“I can’t find the goddamned choke knob!”, Andreas said. “It must be hidden somewhere under all the duct tape! Give me a knife!”

While trying to cut some duct tape away from the dashboard, the black IP was passed by the gold Primus, which made Marie rather upset.

“HEY SMURFETTE!”, she yelled through the open window. “DID YOU REMEMBER TO PUT KETCHUP ON MR. FLUFFY?”

“Who is Mr Fluffy?”, Andreas asked, while the Primus was suddenly doing some very erratic driving that could be seen through the windshield of the IP.

“Oh, it’s just a…german brand of…fish nuggets!”, Marie tried to lie.

“I am pretty sure it is not!”, Andreas said while the inline six roared to life.

“How could you know that, have you ever been to Germany?”, Marie asked.


While on the twisty roads, Andreas did his best to try to catch up with the Primus, but with no luck.

"OK, the Primus is the better handler, not gonna lie, 90s luxobarge vs. 70s panel van with well pumped air shocks…, Andreas said, “…but how the fuck is the moron driving? That is going to kill them, I am pretty sure!”

“I hope it does”, Marie said.

“Stupid kid”, Janne said. “Probably thinks she is Sabine Schmitz or something.”

“I wish that she would have been as alive as Sabine Schmitz”, Marie said.

“That was dark even for me…”, Janne answered.

Andreas decided to calm down a bit on the twisty mountain roads, since overtaking the Primus was an impossible task anyway. Soon, they saw a pretty interesting sight though… The Shift Happens AMCW City Shuttle standing at the side of the road with the hazard flashers blinking.

“Should we stop and help them?”, Andreas asked.

“We really should since we got the windshield repaired…”, Janne answered.


“Uhm, you’re right, no, we won’t stop!”, Andreas answered and pressed the accelerator a bit harder again, once again catching up on the Primus…

"What the fuck…well, I guess they have had a driver change for some reason, that did cost them time, because now Thomas is driving…but he is driving like a maniac too for some reason.


(Honestly, this is mostly filler text, but hopefully the next part will be more interesting)

@Madrias @Happyhungryhippo



(Now I have managed to catch up, so following parts may be better than the last ones)

The weather had been better than it was when the team jumped into the IP at Hofrost to leave for Talrem. The repaired windshield was a good thing to have now indeed, but much to our friends surprise something else was repaired too…

“Hey, why isn’t the hood some kind of cross between piss yellow and puke green anymore?”, Andreas said. “It is black…almost!”

“I don’t know”, Janne said, while the inline six woke up. “What do you think yourself?”

“Ehrm…”, Andreas said, “…could it be the magic that had spilled over a bit, and…”

“Oh, so NOW you believe that magic works”, Janne said. “How come?”

“NO, I DON’T!”, Andreas answered.

“That fucking magic must suck then.”, Marie said. “I would have done a better paintjob with tar and a toothbrush.”

“I never thought about it like that, but you may be right”, Janne answered.


What the fuck has happened to the wipers?", Andreas said with some confusion in his voice.


“That noise drives me crazy!”, Marie said.


“I BET THAT IT IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT WHEN YOU ATTACKED THE WINDSHIELD WITH AN AXE!”, Andreas answered. “I bet you broke the wipers then!”


Luckily, they were able to crank up the volume of this masterpiece to somewhat manage to be louder than the wiper. Even the volume of Marie reached somewhat sane levels some beercans later when she passed out inside the car. Reaching Talrem, Andreas wondered if they shouldn’t wake Marie up.

“Nah, she’s in her right element now”, Janne said while Marie was snoring and drooling on some piece of duct tape that was now stuck into her face.


Waking up alone in the IP, Marie was a bit dizzy and not aware of where she was. But since the cars were all left outside, unsupervised, she understood that the actual camp must have been somewhere else. This was a golden opportunity for her to pull of a prank she learned when watching a certain British TV show…

Getting into the Primus, she put in a CD that was in the IP with some of the prophet’s…eh…bes…nah, most annoying songs.

That was followed with some strategically placed glue on the stereo controls in the Primus. That meant that this CD was now played at full volume, on repeat, and could not be ejected. Furthermore, the stereo could no longer be set to tuner or cassette. Yes, this was just a take on the classic Top Gear prank…

What James May didn’t have in his Golf, however, was an equalizer. The Primus, however had one.

That meant that max bass and max treble was now glued. Some of the sliders in between, however, was glued at the bottom, and the rest was set on totally random values… everything to give a sound quality that was state of the art, out of this world…

Satisfied with what she had done, Marie went back to the IP to sleep there for the rest of the night…




Shitbox Rally - Stage 10

Stage 10: Talrem to Prentare

Weather: Temperatures around 0°C, torrential rain turning into snow during the later half of the stage, some thunderstorms, strong winds, and potential frost at night.

Depending on your vehicle class, you’re going to be taking one of two paths to get there.

(A, B, C1 class): The road winds up the mountain pass we approached yesterday. The roads are shitty, steep, and soaking wet with rain, sleet, and snow, making the trip a slow, treacherous slog. Some of you might feel like mountain goats on this trail, climbing the way up to Prentare.

(C and CE class): The lack of space for the largest vehicles means we have to make a substantial and significant detour. We start by going back down to the valley we found yesterday, and following it somewhat around and gradually up the mountain. The roads are still shitty, wet, and coated in snow, but less steep.

Timeloss lost two hours after getting stuck in the snow. Thankfully, they’re able to get it unstuck easily enough, but the broken ball joint is where the two hour “time loss” happens.

The “Crazy” Eight do one hell of a crazy figure eight as they spin out by accident, and then again deliberately in order to get going in the right direction again.

The Spy Kids find out the hard way that just because it’s cold doesn’t mean you can’t overheat. One serpentine belt later, and an hour cooling down, the German SUV is on the move again.

Straight Outta Seratos experiences the joys of driving a rear engine car in the snow, up until the clutch gets stuck. 3.5 hours later, and a new clutch slave cylinder installed, they’re on the road again.

After spinning out four times in the snow, Machinas Con Passione headed on toward the next camp, hoping to make better time there.

Ramjet has a brief fight with some electrical gremlins, solved by tightening all the grounding screws. This costs them an hour on the side of the road.
(@JCurtiss96, @Leone)

Prentare is a city of 88,000 people, and like Thornes from before, it’s extremely vertical in nature, built up instead of out. It’s a very dense location.

Our camp is basically all over the roads of the town. Hopefully you’re comfortable driving tent pegs in between the cobblestones… Because that’s how we’re sleeping. There aren’t any official services, but some nearby businesses might be offering the use of their toilets. The support train is parked on a disused rail line that was intended to be a subway system, before the engineers figured out that steam locomotives and lengthy tunnels don’t mix, and then the budget dried up. For the adventurous, there’s a mostly-assembled subway station not far away, almost inviting people to wander around inside… And possibly get some sleep if you didn’t like the idea of being in a tent in town.

Spreadsheet is here:


Stage 10: Magic Moments

teams included: Shift Happens by @Madrias, Hillbilly Rollers by @Knugcab and Firulais by @Angelustyle

teams mentioned only: Chitco by @MrdjaNikolen, Fuist by @Djadania

In the next morning, Thomas had a serious hangover. Jan had to convince him to leave the bed at all, just like Chantal. Thankfully, Thomas can´t remember everything of the previous day, including Chanty doing her racing taxi and planning to make him a grandfather… which is propably a very good thing.

When they were about to proceed to the starting line, the radio of the car was blazing awful music at full volume!








A very disappointed Chanty then looked at her headphones as if she wanted to marry them, and then just put them on and solved the problem for herself with that.

The way up on narrow and muddy roads was quite slow and challenging, and Thomas was very happy to have fitted more or less still roadworthy all-season-tires on the car, so that the large RWD car could be kept on course, and a bit of playing with the traction control switch allowed for a good balance between not getting stuck and not skidding off the road. When Thomas and Chanty had a smoking break, they were surprised how much colder it was now, and had to grab pullovers to enjoy their cigarettes, and they hoped that it will be not THAT cold in Prentare, and the snow/rain combination would stop.

“What is this place here?”


“Looks like a shrunken capital. So, I can´t see a campsite, we are right in the city center.”

“There is none.”

“So, a hotel again? GREAT! My back was already getting used again to a proper bed yesterday. And even if the weather is now a lot better, its still cooooold if your aren´t kissed by the sun´s rays…”

“If the roadbook doesn´t lie, … we sleep in the streets.”


“Thomas, this might be a humbling experience for you then.”

“I SAID NO WAY. You can do what you want, but I will book a hotel room.”

“And that from someone born and raised in a socialist country, weird.”


“You skipped the biking excercises that you promised for two stages now. You should do that now, or do you want to die early?”


Chanty, who just switched her headphones off and stopped dancing with herself, gave her father a hard slap with the roadbook, again crying and clearly being sad.


“Calm down, I meant yes to… that I should do cycling today… ok??”

A still crying Chanty then firmly hugged her father, pointing out that she saw a propably abandoned bike at the roadside only a few blocks away, and that she will get it for him, while Thomas organized a table in a nearby restaurant.

Thomas tried to read out what was written on a special offer advertizing, doing that loudly to make the translator ring translate it.

“I SUCK D—S!?”

Some heads turned towards Thomas, with a range of facial expressions going from amused to really offended.

“Nah that can´t be accurate, I need to work on my pronounciation of Holsian…”

Now as Thomas seems to talk with a ring, the locals just thought he … is an inpatient from the local hospital´s mental ward and didn´t bother much. Then, he finally read it out correct.

“ALL YOU CAN EAT. Well, that´s for us then, definitely. Let´s go in before that glutton gollum finds out then, because that discount troll and my little monster don´t work well together at buffets.”

The Rhinos entered the restaurant with only two members, as Chantal wanted to do something first that would make her hungry… And… well, the restaurant owner regretted it already when Thomas took his fourth dish, but then Chanty entered, excusing herself that she sweated a lot and needed a shower at a nearby public bath first… and started eating. Why she carried some bench seat… is a mystery for now only she knows the answer to.

The “All you can eat” advert was… removed even before Chantal finally considered herself some kind of saturated.

“Chanty,… you better stop now.”

“But why? Itff deliffiouf. Mmm.”

“The waiter and the cook will kill you soon if you don´t stop ruining them. So, eat your dessert and let´s get out of here.”

“Deffert? Whif deffert?”


After finally leaving and relieving the restaurant owner, Chantal showed her father the bike, but Thomas already cheated by using a starter wired to… the battery of his car that was taped in place in the rear, building an E-Bike, since Thomas didn´t really want to do excercising.


“It´s not. I promised you to ride a bike, and I DO RIDE A BIKE NOW.”

“NO! This isn´t sport, that´s just… ah come on, it´s your fault then if your heart finally gives up.”

“YELLOW CARD, JAN! Don´t speak up to me like that! I warn you once, not twice!”

“Yeah, Thomas the Temper Engine, I see!”

Chanty was now having another panic attack from seeing her loved ones arguing, and jumped onto the bike and accellerated hard, as the starter of the car does have some force to crank that large V6 engine.


But it was too late, Chanty was already out of sight, and lost control with the extreme accelleration, unable to slow down with the almost non-existant brakes, and managed to hit a lamppost with high speed, and to put it mildly, after encountering Maries rage, she looked a lot better than now. Sadly, Marie was standing next to her now, as the Hillbilly Rollers were leaving a pharmacy, buying Marie some pills against her hangover headache. Janne was almost wiped off the sidewalk from the uncontrolled bicycle.

“OH SHIT! That was painful! Chantal! HEY, CHANTAL! CAN YOU UNDERSTAND ME?”


“You don´t get my painkillers, smurfette!”

“MARIE, YOU ARE NOT ASKED!”, answered an annoyed Andreas.

“Can you stand up?”

“I can´t… use my legs”

, cried Chanty, overwhelmed by the shock.

“Well, if you are now paralyzed, you can maybe ask your daddy for a wheelchair from Primus, these cars look like prescribed from doctors anyway!”


, yelled Janne and Andreas, perfectly sychronized, but what Marie said was already processed in Chantys brain, who was now terrified and cried even more, so that she was totally unable to communicate with others anymore.

“I wish that would have happened to you, Marie”

“Come on, Janne, you know that bikes are for kids and environmentalists only. So, that leftist kid got what it deserved.”

“You should be happy that you didn´t get what you deserve - YET!”

Janne tried to calm Chanty down and checked her for serious injuries.

“We will carry you to Shift Happens, they can perform magic, so that can be cured easily, if it is no serious injury.”

“Yeah, but this looks serious.”

“Andreas, I am NOT BLIND.”

In that moment, Jan and Thomas appeared out of nowhere, and very exhausted, as they ran as fast as they could. Thomas visibly suffered from seeing Chantal in that state, and tried to ease himself up with black humor.

„At least it´s the lamppost in front of a pharmacy, so the way is short to get medical supplies… and the hospital is right over here.“

„No, Thomas, we need some magic. I don´t want to hand her out to people with 1930s knowledge and instruments. When they see how her mental health is, they will propably lobotomize her. I will now use the emergency ring!“

„Fine, Jan, but they already weren´t able to help her with magic when we asked last.“

„That is something way more serious than feeling homesick. Actually, they did help us with magic already, remember when you had a weird feeling where I was when I insisted on walking ? That was them doing magic.“

“They should magically let her disappear instead, that would do us all a favor”

, said Marie, with Thomas heating up even more.


“Looking at your daughter, you have already a hard time stuffing her mouth with food, but Jan could need a bit more to eat.”

Thomas pushed Marie, who … had problems keeping balance, as she was even a lot heavier than Chantal, and she fell almost on Chanty that would have become flat as a pancake, so Thomas tackled her to change the direction towards … hard cobblestone.


“What is it Thomas?”

“I think that gollum is even so heavy that I broke my arm at the contact. FUCK!”

In just that moment, Shift Happens arrived, called by Jan with the emergency ring. They improvised with a bench seat in their bus as bed for Chanty, while Thomas, still standing on two feet, was checked outside since Chanty, now crying less and again aware of what happens around her, should not see her father being injured. Angel sent Ana to comfort Chanty a bit, as he himself didn´t dare to join - that much stress might trigger a mindreading incident. Jayde was setting up his stuff, while Lauren dried Chantys tears with her furry paw.

“So, it will be all right, Ana is here since someone will have to guide you to your campsite, as our magic drinks include a lot of alcohol…, and Andrea and her centaur friend… Ah, Pi, yes, that tattoo on Andrea is really a good reminder, were also here. They both can´t see blood so I told them to come back later, and sorry for throwing Jan out, but he was just too nervous and is propably better off preparing your campsite, as you are not in real danger. So, many people look foward to be hugged by you as soon you walk out of here.”

“That means…that I … have almost as many friends as diagnosed mental illnesses? Really?”

“Of course you have, and…”

“LAUREN! Can you please come over?”

Kiva interrupted them, and Lauren excused herself and went outside, and Jayde pointed on his casted arm.

„We need to make sure nothing is broken, as we can´t fix that easy. It would be a very risky magic spell, and we don´t even try that on ourselves because of the possible complications. Ana, I could you please do that? It might be easier if a friend touches her, and I need to get some herbals.“

Ana did as ordered, and Chanty cried a lot, as some pressing here and there caused some pain.

“Eh, if you still feel pain on everything, you are definitely not paralyzed, so, forget about what that hillbilly monster said, do you understand?”

“Yes… but… how bad is it? It feels like nothing is in place anymore?”

„Oh, oh, quite a lot broken, but guess what? There will be enough space on that giant cast for all people to sign it!“

Chantals eyes became empty as if her soul was leaving her, and Ana already regretted being sarcastic, but even if Ana changed a bit towards Chantys mentality, it doesn´t mean it would make her a totally different person in a couple of days.

“Please kill me!”

“THAT WAS A JOKE, SORRY! I thought… you would take that one better. After all you´ve told, getting into bad accidents isn´t new to you, so… I thought you`d be more relaxed…”

Outside, Kiva explained Lauren the problem.

“Thomas just wouldn´t calm down because we can´t heal his broken arm.”

“Well, we can actually, but don´t recommend it.”

“I DONT CARE! I have to work when we are back and I can´t need an useless arm then. I am not sitting at some fancy glass office in the city center, I AM A DAMN CAR MECHANIC! AND MY CUSTOMERS… AAAH! RELY ON ME! And not to forget…I … so, I … urgh. Where was I?”

“OH NO! Heart attack. Kiva, get Mani, now. And don´t let Chantal notice any of this! She´s feeling bad enough already.”

Inside, Jayde came back with some kind of… a drink, and asked Ana how Chantys state is.

„Surprisingly, she doesn´t seem to have anything broken. Just… well, in a fight between concrete and skin, the skin rarely wins. I mean, she is well-cushioned, so that is useful I guess.“

“But there was no pillow, just a fucking hard lamppost”

, cried Chanty, going through the shocking event of the impact once again. Jayde signalized Ana NOT to explain what she meant with “well cushioned”…

„We can try this magic drink then. Chantal, I will now make you sit up to drink it, this can hurt a bit, but you will be better soon.“

Jayde served Chanty something that… tasted the worst she has ever tasted, it was exactly like she imagined the sponge of the school chalkboard to taste, that was older than herself at that point and developing into some own kind of lifeform…. Added up by a spice resembling Thomas unholy chili wodka a lot.

Outside, Mani had to perform very dark magic with a lot of time pressure.

“Mani, he is almost dead, please, make it quick!”

“You forget that I can raise the dead if needed, I am not just a healer like Jayde, I am an actual magician. When I have to somehow fix this heart, I can as well also heal the arm. Now that Thomas has almost left this world, you can also put the bone in position, he won´t notice too much of it. But I don´t want to perform this out here where others can see me. This will cause me losing focus and also spectators would consider me an evil person for doing that dark stuff.”

“But Chantal is inside, she will notice then…”

“We have to risk that, if it´s that bad I can as well make her forget with another spell, lets carry him into the bus.”

Lauren did as asked, and Mani took a bit of blood from Thomas´nosebleed he also got from having enemy contact, and ripped off Thomas clothes, and writing mysterious runes onto him while spelling something that sounded really, really scary. After a 10 minute procedure, Mani sunk to the floor of the bus, totally exhausted.

“That… was exhausting. I have rarely used so much power in such a short time period. His heart… well, even if he didn´t become that upset today, I guess he would not have made it to the end of the rallye in either case. I can´t tell how long it will be fine now, but I guess it will give him 3 or 5 more years he can spend with his loved ones, maybe even more.”

Lauren gently took Manis hand.

“You did great. Plus, Chantal already got her medicine from Jayde… with… the usual side effect. She was immediately so fucking drunk that she didn´t notice anything that happened over here. Will Thomas wake up now?”

“No, propably not before tomorrow, by then the arm should be… well, maybe not totally fine, but he can use it again with only a slight pain. Damn, that medical bill will be …expensive, Thomas. Don´t get another heart attack over it, old man!”

“Mani, that´s a dark joke. Anyway, I guess he won´t mind you plundering his booze. I suggest you do it already now before writing the invoice because… Marie will definitely use the opportunity when she sees Thomas sound asleep!”

After exiting the bus, Chanty, totally lost and drunk, told Ana then what she did before joining the all you can eat: She removed the bench seat from the IP of the Hillbilly Rollers that now have to deal with… that revenge sabotage, but Chanty fell so hard in her home dialect that the translator ring failed, but… Ana had enough to laugh about anyway, as a drunk smurf is also something funny.

“Also, da habbsch mir also de Schraubnschlüssl jenomm, dis jing eigntlsch janz einfach… war abbor bissl schwers Ding da wegzutragn… ssch wees jarnimmor wosch dis hin hab…”

“Chantal, I have no idea what you are telling me, but I am convinced it´s great, yeep. So, while you tried to not to fall over your own feet, I asked Louis and Marceline, and they said Jan has put your sleeping bags in that unused subway station since he thought that´s the best rain protection. Can I leave you alone then?”

“Suuuuureeee…I`m just a lil delulu…”

“Oh, you don´t say?”

When arriving at the subway station, Chanty ran towards Jan and gave him a love overdose, and Jan was a bit irritated.

“Damn, are you drunk? But its good that you are fixed now, that was really hard to watch after the accident… but where is Thomas?”

“SSSH! Jan! Come over to me, I can not explain this loudly in the presence of her…”

Ana told Jan that Thomas escaped death once again with a lot of luck and black magic, and Jan was actually very furious at Marie now, asking Ana if she could take Chanty with her as he has to do something, then Ana remembered that she hasn´t given Chanty her share of the taxi rides yet, and would motivate her realizing her plans to feed the poor and hungry of Holsia, and that Angel will definitely help her with that.

An hour later, Chanty was already distributing animal food at the few strays in town, and since homeless also looked for shelter down there in the abandoned subway station, she thought about them and bought some snacks… with Angel more or less managing most of it as Chanty was too drunk, but felt great for being able to help others, but she worried a lot about Thomas and knocked, a bit less drunk by the end of the day, at the bus doors, and Lauren was stepping outside.

“Oh, Chantal, what´s the matter? We were already going to sleep, if it´s urgent, tell me, but otherwise you can come over tomorrow.”

“Is my dad ok? He is not at our … eh, campsite, although it basically isnt a campsite, but…”

“Yeah, I see, he still needs some rest.”

“Is it serious? Can I see him?”

“Chantal, look, I can promise you he is just exhausted, nothing serious, we fixed that broken arm and some extreme fatigue is the usual side effect of black magic, he will join you tomorrow in good shape.”

Lauren did not tell Chantal about the next almost lethal heart attack, as… Mani fixed the worst of his cardiac issues for some time now, and Chanty would not need any more bad news after having a stressful day herself.

“Can´t you fix … my shitty personality with that black magic, too? Like… making me less dumb and more happy, so I don´t annoy the others any more?”

Lauren sighed, then hugged Chantal and gently stroked her head.

“Chantal, you are perfect the way you are. I think even if your loved ones are a bit stressed with you, they would not want anyone to change a single thing about you. And the only one being able to make you happy… is yourself, and I think you were already on a good way today, but don´t forget about yourself when helping others.”

Jan, on the other hand, took away the itching powder from the host family´s oldest kid back in Talrem when he was doing the “babysitting”, but forgot to give it back, which he regretted since he promised to do so. On the other hand, this would be a good thing to put in Maries clothes, which he successfully did, but was then caught by Andreas…


Stage 10

Pov: Team HIBS (Honey I Bought A S#!tbox) 30 minutes into the stage, and in 3rd place, set to be their best result of the season.
(If you are struggling to figure out who’s speeking, they take it in turns, and frequently address the other by name)

“Well, this is more like it Viv isn’t it? Finally among the top runners”

“I will admit, its taken a while for anything mildly interesting to happen, and perhaps putting on all-terrain tires for a rally mostly on the road wasn’t the best idea”

“Hey, when I repaired this pile of junk T4 from the scrap parts you so generously got me. I built a rally car. None of this hosy posy round the roadsy we’ve been doing for 9 stages.”

“Hey, it was not scrap, those were premium parts from 1979”

“So, thats why they rotted away”

“That was only surface corrosion and you know it”

“Oh sush, besides, the only reason you got me those was definitely just to hang out with me…”

“No it was not”

“Was too”

“Was not”

“Was too”

“Clara, I only fell for you after I got the parts and was forced to listen to your wacky ideas about fitting a winch to a road car, remember?”

“Correlation, not causation.”

“That doesn’t even make any sense”

“Does too”

“Does not”

“Does too”

“Does… Wait, is that…”

“You aren’t gonna win an argument that eas…
Holly S#!tbox, MCP has stopped for fuel, we’re up into 2nd place.”

“And it was my genius plan to fill the car before we left.”

“You only did that because you thought there wouldn’t be any fuel stops up here”

“Hey, it worked didn’t it”

“Ok Viv, you win this round, but its not like we are moving at an exactly blistering speed”

“Hey, 19mph is perfectly fast for me thank you, any faster and we’d be down there…”

Roadside cliff

“Yikes, dont remind me”

“Go any faster and I will”

“Shut up”

Little did the bickering couple know, that 2 minutes ahead, was Faolan Industries, who had a poorer average speed, and were losing time to them in the steeper hills, and just another minute behind, were the interceptors, which weren’t really living up to their name, and were not exactly closing in on them.

“Ok, there’s no way we are getting up that”

“I beg to differ”

Its a 36° gradient, and we have front wheel drive

“True, but now you will see the genius of my engineering”

“You mean the consequences of your design

“I didn’t see you stop me while I was struggling for days fitting a winch to a car with no anchor points. You were too busy staring at me. Meanwhile, I wa busy being the true visionary of this team, by fitting that winch”

“That we haven’t used yet”

“Well, im about to”

“You cannot be serious, that would put in jeopardy our best finish so far, and given the upcoming smooth roads and highways, probably ever”

“As stupid as it sounds, I spent days fitting this thing and if the only use if have for it is blocking traffic while
some other team hosts racing events on the road ahead, I am going to lose it.”

“Ok then, have it your way, but you are setting it up, and im driving”

But im the driver,

“Nope, should have checked the T’s and C’s when you married me”

“Which were?”

“I can take over driving the S#!tbox whenever I like”

“Im pretty sure that wasn’t in the wedding lisence”

“Just do it Clara”


As Clara began setting up the whinch onto a tree at the top of the slope, they heard an alarming noise. The distant grumble of a 1989 5.5L V8, approaching at the blistering speed of 16 mph.

“Claraaa, the Interceptors are catching upppp”

“Shut up I know”

Before they knew it, the Interceptors had inched their way by on the narrow road, taking the shallower but longer road, and were up into second place.

“Great, fanatic, phenomenonal, spectacular, amazin…”

“Stop with the adjectives, im working on it”

“Well work on it faster, even MCP will catch up at this rate”

“Ok, Give it some beans”

“The car doesn’t have any beans, its from 1974”

“Just do it, I’ll do the winch”

Slowly, the car began to accend the 75% gradient with the aid of the winch, which actually seemed to work.

“Yes, yes, come on Viv, more power”

“That’s literally all I got.”

“Well, lets hope its enough”

“Atleast we’re moving, im just wishing we get out ahead of the guys who just overtook us”

Over the next 2 minutes the car slowly made its way up the steep gradient untill it was firmly at the top on the other road.

“Lets hope that shortcut was enough, now out”

“But I just started drivingggg”


“Fine, but you better push it hard, there’s no way we came out ahead of them after that little stunt.”

But as it turned out, they had. Accidentally they’d chopped a whole minute off by accidentally circumventing the narrowest section of the route, where overtaking would have been impossible, and they would have been slowed down by the teams ahead.
They continued bickering till they crossed the line, and they were absolutely shocked to hear where they placed.


“Haha, you owe me a drink”

“Clara, you dont drink”

“Did i specify in a bar? Im going to order the most expensive milkshake money can buy, and you’re gonna pay for it.”

“How come?”

“Its in the T’s and C’s of marriage silly ‘Vivian must buy Clara a drink if she successfully winches a car up a slope and gets them a stage win’.”

“The lisence definitely does not say that”

“Does too”

“Does not”

“Does too x2 triple lock I love you”

“Damit. It’s impossible to say no to you”

And with that Vivian went to the nearest café (which in such a sparsely populated area wasn’t easy) and ordered a single, large strawberry milkshake. Still having absolutely no idea how the currency worked in this world, they of course overpayed.


“Are you going to share?”

“Maybe, what number am I thinking of?”

“Number one?”

“Howd you tell?”

"Because we won obviously "

“Well, not exactly, grab a straw”


Team Firulais

Stages 9 and 10: Ángel’s Solution, Initial D Style Driving, a Crude Invention and a History Lesson

(Mentioning: The Rhino Squad [@HappyHungryHippo])

Early Morning at Hofrost
Ángel’s Explanation

As soon as the team woke up, they looked from afar to the confused Hillbilly Rollers. However, they didn’t approach… Plus, Ángel’s Artwork wasn’t all that appreciated.

As they made breakfast though, Ángel decided to explain what happened last night.

Ángel:“So, now I explain. When you guys were out, I was talking to different people all across camp. I had 4 Mind Reading Accidents that afternoon and later I took a decision which you may have noticed…”
Josué:“Which was taking the car.”
Ángel:“Bee-bo. And what I did then was taking the car, all the way to a place rural enough so I couldn’t have Mind Reading Incidents…”
Ana:“What do you mean ? That, you were far enough from civilization so you couldn’t read their minds ?”
Ángel:“Yeah, that was the idea. While I suffered a bunch of migraines that afternoon, I think I found a solution. Hopefully the next town is small enough for me to continue getting away with it…”
Josué:“Just… Don’t take the car next time.”
Andrés:“Or, at least, when we wake up, be there with the car early.”
Ángel:“I will. By the way, I… Giving it a second thought, I think Tomás should drive today.”
Tomás:“Oh… Okay.”

Besides that breakfast conversation, and some more, the rest of Stage 9 was normal.

They later helped Chantal with some business opportunity, and Ángel got a bit of scrap metal before that, after Thomas’ Attempt to make a Washing Machine and Dryer failed… But after the driving, Ángel was on a bit more than trying to sleep. In fact, he wasn’t sleeping.

He had given some thought and decided to use the scrap metal of the Nilfertinator 3000 to make some sort of rudimentary version of an Air Conditioning Unit… Consisting of a Fan, a tiny water pool, and some tubing.

Little did Ángel know, making such thing was useless in an ambient like this… But he had good intentions.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t finish it before it was too late in the night, recurring to sleep as late as 6-Moon-55. At least he later got a place to sleep in Talrem; someone had decided to rent Ángel a shed for the night. Not only allowing him to work on his rather silly project a bit further, but also allowing him to finally sleep in somewhere… a little less cramped.

Morning at Talrem…
Ángel takes command.

After a rather uneventful morning, and some eating at the local bakery, Ángel decided he’d drive for the remaining stages… A decision which was, initially, slightly panned, but, ultimately accepted.

However, another thing caught the eye of the team.

Josué:“What is that ?”
Ángel:“What ?”

Said Josué, pointing at Ángel’s “A/C Unit”.

Ángel:“Ahhh, you mean, my invention… Yeah, it’s some sort of rudimentary Air Conditioning Unit… I know we are on the mountains, but, maybe it can make our day more enjoyable when we reach warmer lands.”
Josué:“So, how does it work ?”
Ángel:“Up front, a fan which is activated by the wind and blows inwards. In the middle, a small water pool, preferably with cold water. In the back, tubing which leads to the cabin.”
Josué:“So, a swamp cooler.”

Ángel stayed confused given how he didn’t even knew that was the actual name…

Ángel:“Uhhh… Yeah.”
Josué:“Well… Keep working on that. I’m glad we may finally have A/C by the late stages of this…”

After giving it some more work, Ángel decided to work on it further by the next town. He hadn’t finished yet… which was good, as the Swamp Cooler wasn’t exactly going to be useful in cold weather…

Road to Prentare.
Yumeisotitanian History Lesson

As they drove further and further into the mountains, at a rather sedate pace, Ana came up with a rather… Peculiar question…

Ana:“Ángel ?”
Ángel:“Yes ?”
Ana:“Why do you have mind reading, and telepathy, and all that ?”

He initially hesitated, but shortly afterwards he decided to tell them.

Ángel:“Should I tell you ? It’s a bit of a long story.”
Ana:“Yeh, I mean, we aren’t going exactly fast thru here, so, c’mon, talk to us a bit, time flies when you talk.”
Ángel:“Well… To start with things… Do you know what a Yumeisotitanian is ?”

The silence meant they didn’t know.

Ángel:“OK, so, Yumeisotitanian Humanoids are, essentially, an out-worldly species, which arrived to earth around the 15th or 16th Century. Why are they called Yumeisotitanians ? Because they come from the planet of Yumeisotitania, a small and rather unstable planet, which every few hundreds of years, has a “Snapping”.”
Tómas:“What’s a “Snapping” ?”
Ángel:“Well… To put it simply… Imagine Earth. Then imagine a small portion of the earth suddenly breaks apart from the rest. Then the planet terraforms to adapt to this sudden change. The break apart part is arguably the quickest. The Terraforming process is done mainly because the bits affected by the Snapping are in the Oceans, and usually only take water, or, in other cases, really tiny islands, and said process of Terraformimg takes a while… Well, in one particular snapping, as many as 5000 Yumeisotitanians were taken along with their Islands, and this was the Snapping that brought Yumeisotitanians to Planet Earth.”
Andrés:“So… How did they survive if they drifted along so long ?”
Ángel:“Being honest with you, I don’t know… In any case, the arrival to Earth was surprisingly quick. Most of the Yumeisotitanians landed on the Oceans… This time, the oceans of Planet Earth, and most notably, the Pacific Ocean, the Indian Ocean, and the North Atlantic Ocean. And most drifted towards the continents, while others to the Islands around those Oceans… Most Yumeisotitanians live in Japan, but they are now spread across the globe.”
Ángel:“I mean, they also are in Russia, Certain bits of the US, Canada, Chile, all across Asia, the Pacific, certain bits of Africa, Iceland, Greenland, Scandinavia, and bits of Southern Europe.”
Josué:“Any notable features ?”
Ángel:“Uuhhh… Maybe their powers. Aside from that, we are probably very weak compared to some other species we may encounter across the rally. Like, I asked a storekeeper at Lauda if he knew about Yumeisotitanian Magic. He obviously didn’t, but, from what I could see at the store, Aetheriian Magic is very, very strong… Or at least, stronger than Yumeisotitanian Magic, that’s for sure. I know we are a somewhat capable species, but, I’m pretty sure we have still a massive lot to learn…”

There was a brief moment of silence.

Ángel:“Oh, and, Tómas. Remember when I had my first Mind Reading Incident at Nevada ?”
Ángel:“Well… One of the bits of what I said there was in Yumeisotitanian.”
Josué:“You guys have your own language ?”
Ángel:“Wita !”
(In Yumeisotitanian:“Yes !”)

Before they even realized, they reached Prentare.

Afternoon at Prentare
A Mildly Busy Day.

What they planned to be a rather easy stop at another small city turned out “well”, as just a few hours after arriving, Ana and Ángel noticed how Chantal got herself in a little bike crash. Ángel sent Ana to the rescue, as he wanted to avoid Mind Reading Incidents for a while.

What he did, instead, was continuing to work on his invention… Working on that swamp cooler in the middle of the street wasn’t exactly a practical, quiet, or comfortable task, but, as the sun came down, Ángel’s Swamp Cooler was finished. He bolted it to the Roof, and instead of cutting a hole in the roof to make the cold air go inside… he looked at the cracked rear-right window of the Aurora… He had an idea, but executing it in the middle of the streets wasn’t exactly going to be good… At least, if he didn’t want to get in any more trouble. So he left that for the next day.

Later in the day, Ángel helped Chantal delivering food to stray animals and homeless people… Not only he enjoyed helping, but also, the abandoned subway station put him to think about something.

“What if… I sleep here ?”, he wondered.

Effectively, Ángel would sleep for the night in the Subway Station… It’d be his first experience as a homeless person… Of sorts… But same as the stop at Talrem, he was actually glad to find somewhere to sleep… And somewhere spacious to sleep in. He just hoped not to catch any disease by the morning.

(As always, Collabs are open for everyone…

Gee, this felt a lot like filler text…)

1 Like