So to be clear this is still open until July right? or did i just waste a couple hours haha
2007 Vermilion Valor 354 Sport
The affordable sedan everyone wants to own, including the police department. Like the name implies, the 2007 facelift Vermilion Valor 354 Sport is powered by a 354 cubic-inch, naturally aspirated 5.8L DOHC V8 making 376 bhp and 416 lb-ft of torque, and the power goes to the rear wheels. The engine replaces the pushrod engine version of same displacement used between 1996 and 2006 for this car. Although the Royal DOHC V8 Series had improved fuel efficiency, economy and power figures, the company discontinued the engine in 2012 when Vermilion ceased the production of the Valor and Heart, both built with the same platform. The 5.8L DOHC V8 was produced from 2005 through 2012.
The transmission is a 6-speed manual with limited-slip differential, top speed is limited to about 165 mph (265 km/h), and 0-62 mph (0-100 km/h) time is around average, at 6.45 seconds.
GPS navigation, traction control, ABS, airbags, AC, electric variable steering, you name it! The Vermilion Valor has more than necessary for the buck! The interior, however, is understandable cheap when it comes with materials, the seats are covered by alcantara, the front panel has a mixture of plastic and alcantara. You expected the $25000 sedan to be luxurious, but even if itâs not luxurious, it has even more creature comfort features than any other low buck car can offer. For luxury specs, go look for the Vermilion Heart, which is based on the same platform and was manufactured in the same time than the Vermilion Valor.
4 Likes
Yeah, still open until original deadline, dont worry.
Thereâs good news and bad news. Bad news for speeders first weâre making cop cars now.
Arnoc Interceptors are here to protect the community and police with advanced safety equipment.
New LED safety lights on the rear of the interceptor will light up the night
Now for the good news, were also selling the to the public
New Styling and factory Mystic colours will be sure to stand out in the crowd.
0-60 in 5.3 seconds
400HP and 20" rims
184MPH Top speed (Ungoverned)
But remember theyâve got the same performance sedan as you, just with smaller⌠rims.
Arnoc SS is your ticket to fun for only. $30,000
Police Version show is $25,000
TBC Suide
Standard Issue '07
Get ready to drop the hammer on criminal scum! The twin turbocharged V8, brand new for 2007, keeps up with road raging hooligans with ease. While you spend most of your day reclining in the soft velour front seats, the rear passengers get a cold steel bench. Serves them right for having a spooky leaf in their pocket. Full auto gear shifts free up your right hand for your issued semi auto and your left hand for the donut. The perimeter of the bodywork is strengthened to allow every tactical car chase maneuver in the book, and some not yet in the book! Theyâll never know what hit 'em.
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The Flint Sentinel Interceptor offers versatility and reliability for police use. With a 4.0L V6, this vehicle can hit 60 mph in under 7 seconds and reach a top speed of nearly 170 mph. Performance tires, heavy duty sway bars, and electronic stability control provide secure handling even at speed. And as with every Flint automobile, critical components are thoughtfully designed and overbuilt for durability and long service life.
Flint Motors. Quality First.
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Deadline is tomorrow!
(i wanna review your cars cmonnnnnnnnnnnnnn!)
I do but Iâm busy at college stuff. Iâll submissions at 3am at tomorrow m.
Do i make in time???
yes
The deadline is today, so no more submissions.
Thank you to everyone who participated, and I will pick two additional judges to judge cars with me for some help, so the judging process will be quicker.
Yayyy
2 Likes
Everyone go silent. What happen?
@SrPinguino asked me to help with judging and said he would send me the car files, but I havenât heard from him in several days. I do know he lost power from a hurricane for an extended length of time.
If any of you want to send me your car files, I can do a semi-official judging that SrPinguino can factor into any final scoring however he wants to. I already have a scoring sheet set up for JOC that I could easily tweak to put something together for this.
4 Likes
@Ananas @DuceTheTruth100 @LennoxV10 @Flingang please send me your cars if youâre interested in a semi-official/preliminary scoring. Iâve gotten a few already and have the scoring sheet set up. Also @hilbertâsorry, didnât mean to leave you out.
4 Likes
Preliminary Scoring
[As noted, SrPinguino asked me to help with judging. I do not know if SrPinguino will also be reviewing or what he will do with this review, but here is my judging of the cars I received, for whatever itâs worth.]
Troopers Esposito and Ryan have been assigned to perform an initial review of the candidates for the initial block of new patrol cars for the Texas State Police. Ryanâs desk is covered in a pile of marketing materials, spec sheets, and background information on each of the candidates, and the manufacturers have provided test vehicles that are parked outside. Ryan has already pored through all of the materials, and now Esposito is coming to meet him to talk over their options to recommend to the higher-ups.
Eposito walks up and plops down in the chair across from Ryan at his desk. âOK, Ryan, what do we got?â
Pictured (left to right): Volitor Metropolitan 3.6 Limited, Vermillion Valor 354 Sport, Megocom Jetta Burnout, TBC Suide ST07, Arnoc Interceptor, Van Zandt Cavalier Intender, Flint Sentinel Interceptor. Not pictured: Wells Lucida PPV
Note: Reviews are not in particular order by scoring. Overall scoring/ranking will be shown at the end.
Volitor Metropolitan 3.6 Limited (by @hilbert)
Price: $24,000
0-60: 7.43 seconds
Top speed: 170 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .670
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .655
Combined MPG: 22.0
âHmm, looks like the specs are decent but not the greatest,â says Esposito. âThe gas mileage isnât bad, so Iâm sure the accountants will be happy with that, and 170 mph should be enough speed if you need it. The 7.4 seconds to 60, thoughâŚItâs not exactly fast, but I wouldnât say itâs slow either.â
âYeah, itâs actually the slowest of the bunch,â Ryan chimes in.
âAnd look at the skidpad testing too. Those numbers donât exactly give me confidence in its cornering abilities.â
âYeah, again, thatâs another performance number thatâs the lowest of the bunch.â
âOK, well thereâs got to be something good about this one other than the gas mileage, right?
âWell,â says Ryan, âweâll have to see what itâs like when we get it out on the road later, but I talked to our mechanic who said these cars are known for being decently reliableâalthough not compared to the other cars weâre looking at, and that theyâre known for being pretty easy and cheap to fix. It also has decent safety ratings, although almost all of these cars have advanced safety features and pretty good safety scores.â
Esposito raises his eyebrows. âSo basically, on paper, we have a car thatâs slow, canât corner well, is less reliable than the others weâre looking at, and isnât a standout on safety, but itâs got good gas mileage and is cheap to service?â
âYeah, I think that pretty much sums it up.â
âWell,â Esposito sighs, âthatâs not a very promising start, but maybe this thing will be great when we get it out on the road later.â
Test Drive
Ryan and Esposito find the Volitor pleasant-looking, although not exactly striking. The interior isnât particularly spacious, but theyâre astonished to find something in this price range with plush, leather seats, and they spend a while playing with the high-tech touchscreen and voice controls on the radio. Theyâre impressed by these features but arenât exactly sure what the point of these would be in a police vehicle, or if theyâd even be included in the actual fleet purchase model. Once on the road, the Volitor struggles with sharp corners but is generally decent to drive and supremely comfortable, with its soft suspension soaking up bumps. It handles a dirt road with ease, with the on-demand all-wheel drive kicking in a few times when the wheels start to lose traction.
The Verdict
Ryan and Esposito arenât quite sure what to make of this one. Itâs a supremely comfortable cruiser, but thatâs in part due to some high-tech features that seem unnecessary in a police car and that they doubt would actually make it into a fleet model. Itâs also slow and canât take turns with much speed, and theyâre not sure if it has the performance needed for everyday police use. The off-road capability is outstanding for a sedan but almost seems overkill for something that wonât see much offroad use. In general, the car seems to under-deliver in some of the most important areas. In fact, it delivers by far the worst overall performance metrics, and while none of these cars are particularly unreliable, itâs also the least reliable model. On the other hand, it seems overkill in areas that are less importantâlike superior off-road ability and an extra-plush interior with a premium infotainment system. Itâs also helped by being the third-best on gas and the third cheapest to service. Ryan is thinking of going to the Volitor dealership over the weekend to look at one for himself as a comfortable family car, but theyâre not sure if the Volitor has what it takes as a police cruiser.
Vermillion Valor 354 Sport (by @Flingang)
Price: $25,000
0-60: 6.45 seconds
Top speed: 164 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .800
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .766
Combined MPG: 17.8
âOK,â says Esposito, âthis is a little more what Iâm talking about in the performance department. Itâs still not blowing me away with that 0-60 time or the skidpad numbers, but theyâre better. And 164 miles per hour seems like plenty of speed.â
âThis one is pretty much dead average in the performance department,â says Ryan, glancing at a spreadsheet on his computer monitor. âYeah, almost exactly average for 0-60 time and cornering Gâs. Itâs a little bit slower than all the other cars at the limit, but most of the cars are somewhere right around 170 in the top speed department, so itâs not a big disadvantage for this one.â
Esposito does a double-take looking at the spec sheet. âOuch, that gas mileage seems pretty bad. I donât think the accountants will like the money thatâs going to have to be spent on gas on this one.â
âA lot of these cars donât have great gas mileage, so this is actually only a bit below average compared to the other cars but, yeah, itâs not great on gas. And the mechanic said this car pretty much has the same reputation for reliability as the Volitor, which means itâs not bad but on the lower end compared to this bunch. He also said itâs on the more expensive side to service.â
âWhat about safety?â
Ryan checks his computer screen. âSafety is good on the whole, but itâs just about average for this group.â
Esposito shrugs. âWell, two down and Iâm still waiting for something to blow me out of the water. At least on paper, it seems like this one is close to average in most areas but isnât great on gas and is a bit expensive to repair.â
Ryan nods. âThat about sums it up.â
Test Drive
Ryan and Esposito like the clean, sleek lines of the Vermillion. Ryan describes it as a car that âjust looks fast.â The inside is a bit cramped but has decent finishes and a fancy satellite navigation system. Esposito starts the engine, which burbles to life with a delightful V8 roar. Esposito finds himself enjoying driving the Vermillion because it just has the feel of a sports carâbut this also means laboring with a manual transmission and having to rein in some oversteer from the rear wheel drive. It manages to make its way down a dirt road, but they wouldnât want it to have to handle any more offroading than that.
The Verdict
Even though they like the looks of the Vermillion and agree that it delivers an enjoyably sporty driving experience, theyâre inclined not to recommend it to the higher-ups for consideration. The Vermillion isnât by any means a bad car, and it scores just about average in most categories. The problem is that it doesnât really stand out in any category, and its sporty nature with RWD and a manual transmission makes it noticeably more labor-intensive to drive than most of its competitors. The âsportyâ feel of driving it also doesnât translate into an advantage in actual performance numbers. Esposito is planning to recommend one to his cousin whoâs looking for a sporty but practical car, but theyâre doubtful that theyâll end up recommending this one to their boss.
Megocom Jetta Burnout (by @LennoxV10)
Price: $20,500
0-60: 6.84 seconds
Top speed: 168 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .856
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .848
Combined MPG: 29.0
âWow, the accountants are going to like this one,â says Esposito. âItâs over $4,000 under budget and gets 29 miles per gallon? Theyâll save tons of money on buying these and gassing them up!â
âYeah, I havenât even talked about the prices of the others because theyâre all pretty much right below the budget limit between $23500 and $25000, but this one is a lot cheaper than the others and gets by far the best gas mileage. I think the next best gets about 22 miles per gallon. The mechanic also said itâs the second-most reliable of the bunch and cheaper than average to service. So I wouldnât be surprised if the accountants would pick this one,â says Ryan.
âBut howâd they make it so cheap? Is it built out of toothpicks?â
âItâs actually pretty sturdy. Safety ratings are a little above average for the bunch.â
âHuh,â says Esposito, âand itâs also pretty decent in the performance department. The 0-60 time doesnât blow me away, but those are the best skidpad numbers Iâve seen so far.â
âYup, theyâre in the top two or three best skidpad numbers in the group.â
âSo this one seems pretty promising on paper. Hopefully it actually drives OK.â
Test Drive
Ryan and Esposito repeatedly walk past the Megocom in the parking lot because they are looking for a new model; when they finally find it, Esposito expresses surprise that the Megocom isnât actually a model from the late 80âs or early 90âs. They are also concerned that the car appears to be missing the third brake light and the rear side reflectors required by federal law; theyâre not sure if that was some sort of manufacturing error with this car, or if theyâve been sent some sort of pre-production prototype. Ryan describes it as an âodd duckâ that looks simultaneously bland and oddly proportioned, especially thanks to its extremely wide headlights and massive front and rear badges.
Once they get inside, the Megocom is pretty much the government-spec interior they expected, with a basic sound system and ordinary cloth seats. Itâs pleasant but unremarkable to drive, with a common automatic transmission and FWD setup. The soft suspension soaks up bumps for an extremely comfortable ride that Ryan describes as âlike floating on clouds.â It handles a dirt road easily, thanks in part to a limited slip differential.
[Note: This car would have been insta-binned under many challenge rulesets for (1) not following the naming convention and (2) failing to have necessary road-legal featuresâparticularly the third brake light. The ruleset in this contest, however, did not set a specific naming convention and did not specify that the car had to have street-legal features or allow for binning on a realism basis.]
The Verdict
Like the Volitor, Ryan and Esposito just arenât sure what to do with the Megocom. They feel like they should like it. Its performance is overall above average, primarily helped by its good cornering scores. In fact, aside from being a little on the slow side in terms of straight-line speed, it is at or above average in every category. It also absolutely obliterates the competition in terms of purchase price and gas mileage, while also being the second least expensive car to service. But the Megocom doesnât seem to be road-legal in its current state, and its design seems at least a decade out of date and just doesnât seem to look the part. They know that looks shouldnât overshadow the Megocomâs other fine qualities, but they just find it hard to picture themselves patrolling in one of these.
TBC Suide ST07 (by @Ananas)
Price: $24,500
0-60: 5.64 seconds
Top speed: 177 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .768
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .766
Combined MPG: 14.9
âNow thatâs the kind of speed Iâm talking about!â Esposito stabs his finger at the stat sheet. â0-60 in under 6 seconds!â
âSlow down there Espo,â says Ryan. âYeah, the 0-60 time is nice, but there are a couple faster ones.â
âWow, well this one seems pretty quick.â Espositoâs face turns to a frown. âBut those skidpad numbers donât seem great.â
âItâs just a little below average when it comes to cornering,â says Ryan. âAnd outside of performance, it actually has the second-worst safety ratings of this group and is in the bottom tier for reliability. Also, I think the mechanics might kill me if I recommend this one to the brass. Actually, the accountants might kill me too. Apparently itâs about twice as expensive to service and repair as the rest of the cars. Something about a turbocharged V8 engine thatâs absolutely shoehorned into the engine compartment, so it takes forever to get at some of the engine components.â
âOuch,â says Esposito. âI also just noticed the gas mileage. 14.9 miles per gallon? Thatâs got to be the thirstiest of the bunch!â
âIt is.â
âWell, sounds like we would have a hard time convincing the accountants and mechanics on this one, even if it turns out to be great on the road.â
Test Drive
Ryan and Esposito love the aggressive front fascia of the TBC, although theyâre a little confused about where the headlights are and feel like the carâs proportions are a little squished in the rear. They are once again surprised to find plush leather seats and a premium navigation system in a fleet vehicle, and they assume these features will be stripped out as unnecessary frills in the actually purchased version. Once theyâre on the road, the TBC feels outstandingly well-balanced and easy to driveâbetter than any car in the group by a wide marginâlikely thanks to its all-wheel drive system with a limited slip differential and active sway bars. The ride is just a bit stiffânot overly so, but just enough so that it doesnât give a cloud-like experienceâand overall comfort is good thanks largely to the plushly finished interior. The TBC manages a dirt road competently, again likely helped by its all-wheel drive.
The Verdict
Ryan and Esposito love driving the TBC, which they agree is by far the easiest to drive and also probably the second most comfortable to ride in, just behind the Megocom. Itâs also a top three performer when it comes to straight-line speed and is competent in all other respects. It probably would be one of their top picks if it werenât for its extremely high service costs and bottom-of-the barrel fuel economy. Ryan and Esposito agree that while the TBC is a good car, itâs not an outstanding enough car to overcome the objections that would inevitably be made to its elevated operating costs.
Arnoc Interceptor (by @PhirmEggplant)
Price: $25,000
0-60: 5.28 seconds
Top speed: 184 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .723
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .700
Combined MPG: 16.7
Espositoâs eyes widen as he looks at the spec sheet. âWow, this oneâs a speed demon! 0-60 in under 5.3 seconds and a top speed of 184 miles per hour! This can get up and go!â
âWell, it is the quickest to 60 and the fastest of the groupâas long as youâre going in a straight line,â Ryan says.
Esposito frowns and looks more closely at the spec sheet. âOuch, those skidpad numbers arenât very good.â
âNope. Second worst of the bunch. Only beats out the Volitor in cornering Gâs.â
âAnd the gas mileage doesnât seem very good.â
âCorrect again. Only the TBC is thirstier.â
Esposito looks at Ryan. âSo is there any reason why we should be considering this thing?â
âWell,â says Ryan, âitâs by far the safest of the bunch. It says something in there about an advanced high strength steel chassis, which I think is why it has such good safety ratings. But the mechanic said itâs middle-of-the pack in terms of reliability and is a little more expensive to service than most of the other cars.â
âSo it sounds like on paper it has straight-line speed and safety going for it, but pretty much everything else is average or below average. Doesnât sound too promising unless it can really prove itself on the road.â
Test Drive
Ryan and Esposito like the body shape of the Arnoc, but theyâre not in love with its front headlights. They also appreciate that this tester was actually provided with a police livery and equipment. The interior is reasonably well appointed and even has a touchscreen system that Ryan and Esposito fiddle withâbut theyâre not sure why such a high-end feature is being put in a police car, and they doubt that the feature will be included in the actual fleet purchase. The Arnoc handles reasonably well but feels just a little bit harder than most other cars to handle through curves, probably due to its limited cornering grip. The ride is comfortable, with the suspension tuned to be soft enough to soak up bumps but not so soft that it wallows and rolls through bumps and corners. They agree that while it doesnât have the plush interior of some of the other cars, itâs one of the more comfortable rides of the bunch. It also navigates a dirt road easily, inspiring confidence that few of the other cars have.
The Verdict
Ryan and Esposito are on the fence about the Arnoc. Itâs the best of the bunch in straight-line speed and safety, itâs among the most comfortable and most off-road capable vehicles, and it is competent in many other areas. But its overall performance is limited by its subpar cornering grip, and operating costs are likely to be high; itâs the third-most expensive to service and has the second-worst fuel economy.
Van Zandt Cavalier Intender (by @VanZandt_Breda)
Price: $23,500
0-60: 5.47 seconds
Top speed: 170 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .942
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .903
Combined MPG: 20.3
âWoah, this oneâs got some real performance numbers!â Esposito skims down to the bottom of the spec sheet. âJust a hair slower than the Arnoc to 60, and itâs got all kinds of grip on the skidpad!â
Ryan nods in agreement. âIâd say this is the best performer of the bunch by a large margin. The top speedâs a little low, but otherwise itâs the second-quickest to 60 and is by far the best when it comes to cornering.â
âWhat about the practical stuff? Safety, reliability, service costs, that kind of stuff?â
âItâs apparently got the second lowest safety ratings of the bunch but, again, all of these cars score well on safety. Itâs one of the more reliable cars here, and itâs apparently pretty average when it comes to servicing. The gas mileage is also a little better than average for the group.â
âI canât wait to get out and drive this thing! If this thing is as good on the road as it is on paper, itâs a sure winner!â
Test Drive
Espositoâs eyes widen when he sees the Van Zandt in the parking lot. âNow thatâs a police car!â, he exclaims. Ryan nods in agreement. They both absolutely love the styling of this car, complete with the effort the manufacturer took to mock it up in Texas State Patrol livery. They spend a good amount of time just walking around the car oohing and aahing before they get in.
Then they get inside the carâand their enthusiasm comes to an abrupt halt. Ryan describes the thinly padded seat as âthe worst thing Iâve sat on since the bench seat in my grandpaâs old Flint pickup.â Esposito points at the door, âBro, is that a crank window!?â They are used to government-spec interiors with industrial-quality fabric and the gaps where every optional feature would be covered up with cheap plastic, but this is, well, even less than government spec. Once they actually start driving, the Van Zandt is quick and carves corners with ease as the performance standout of the group, and the car is reasonably well-mannered, even with a rear-wheel drive setup. But the ride is flat-out unpleasant. The suspension is a little on the stiffer side, and the suspension setup is basic. With thin tires and thin seats, thereâs just not much there to absorb the bumps other than Ryan and Espositoâs bodies. It also struggles mightily down a dirt roadâso much that Ryan and Esposito at one point think they might have to call for a tow truck, before finally managing to push the car out of a rut.
The Verdict
Ryan and Esposito were both tremendously excited about this carâuntil they got inside it. It offers by far the best overall performance package of any of the tested cars, it scores competently in a lot of other important categories, and it just looks right. But even though comfort and off-road ability arenât high priorities, the Van Zandt falls so far behind the pace in these categories that they arenât sure they can recommend this car to their boss. They just canât see troopers who spend hours in their cars being at all satisfied with the rock-bottom interior and stiff ride. And Esposito jokes that the only thing a criminal fleeing one of these would need to do to escape is to âdrive on some grass.â They wanted this car to be the oneâbut theyâre fairly certain it isnât after looking at the complete package.
Flint Sentinel Interceptor
[Note: Yes, since I am also an entrant in this contest I am scoring my own car as well, but I developed the scoring rubric before receiving any cars, have treated my entry equivalently to the others, and have not updated the design since I submitted it. If you have any concerns, please feel free to message me.]
Price: $24,200
0-60: 6.97 seconds
Top speed: 173 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .832
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .802
Combined MPG: 19.7
âWell,â says Esposito, looking at the spec sheet, "I guess this is enough performance to get the job done, but itâs not exactly exciting.â
âAgreed,â says Ryan. âIt has the second slowest 0-60 time, its top-speed is right in the middle, and its skidpad numbers are just slightly above average. Probably what I would call a competent but not exciting performer.â
âSo is there any reason to bother with this one?â
âWhen I spoke with our mechanic, he said that these are built like absolute tanks, so he thinks this would be the best bet for reliability, and theyâre also a pretty basic design that he thinks would be the cheapest and easiest to service.â Ryan continues, âI think if the mechanics were picking what would make their lives the easiest, it would be this one. And since theyâre built solidly, that also helps them be safer than most of the other cars here.â
âBut,â says Esposito, âgas mileage is only OK, so even if youâd be saving money on service and repairs, it wonât be saving much money at the pump.â
Ryan nods in agreement. âIt seems like thereâs a theme with this one of being competent but boring, at least on paper.â
Test Drive
Ryan and Esposito at first have trouble finding the Flint in the parking lot because they keep mistaking it for a Chevy Impala from behind or a Pontiac from the front. Once they finally find the car, Esposito describes it as having âall the charm and personality of a bar of soap.â The interior is spacious but fairly basic, and the car is overall relatively well-mannered, with the exception of some noticeable torque steer from the front wheel drive under hard acceleration. The ride is a bit on the firmer side, which helps handling but makes its overall comfort level somewhat below average for the group, and a far cry from the plush Volitor and TBC. They arenât quite sure if its performance tires will be able to handle any off-roading, but it barely makes it down a dirt road in what isnât exactly a confidence-inspiring experience.
The Verdict
Ryan and Esposito agree that the Flint is an overall competent car, but it has a few weak points. Itâs average or better in most areas and is a standout for its mechanical simplicity and durability. But itâs let down by subpar acceleration, a slightly stiff ride, and limited off-road capabilities. It also doesnât have any charm that makes Ryan and Esposito want to root for it; it comes across as a reasonably competent tool for the job, nothing more, nothing less.
Wells Lucida PPV (by @ducethetruth100)
[Note: This vehicle was advertised and submitted as a 1997 model instead of a 2007 model. Since it was a simple fix to change the trim and variant years to 2007, I am scoring this model instead of binning it.]
Price: $24,700
0-60: 6.05 seconds
Top speed: 176 mph
Max Cornering Gâs (20 meters): .874
Max Cornering Gâs (200 meters): .839
Combined MPG: 21.1
âOh, a Wells Lucida,â says Esposito, âI think I drove one of these as a rookie. And it still looks the exact same.â
âYeah,â Ryan chimes in, âhavenât they been selling basically the same car for like 10 years or something like that?â
âI think so. But I mean, performance-wise, I can see why you could take an approach of if it isnât broke, donât fix it. Itâs faster and more agile than most of the other cars here, and the cornering is in the top three. What did the mechanic have to say about it?â
âSince itâs an older design, thereâs just less stuff that can break on it. Itâs not tops in reliability, but he said it would probably be better than most and is fairly easy to service and repairâalthough still probably a little more expensive than some of the other cars here.â
âWell,â says Esposito,âgas mileage is also pretty decent.â He frowns at something as his eyes move down the spec sheet. âBut look at these crash ratings! All these other ones are full of 4 and 5 stars, and this one is down in 3-star territory!â
âI was doing some research on that, and apparently they havenât updated the safety features in this one either. I heard they might even have to discontinue it soon or revise the design because itâs not going to meet some new safety standards.â
Esposito shakes his head. âWell, I donât know if I want to be riding around in something thatâs going to fold up like a tin can in a crash, but I guess we still have to give this thing a spin.â
Test Drive
Ryan and Esposito arenât wowed by the Lucidaâs look. Ryan describes it as âinoffensive,â and they put it in the same category with the Flint in terms of being rather bland and lacking in charm. Then they open the door and are greeted by the worst interior theyâve seen since the Van Zandt. Crank windows. Thin seats. Vinyl floor liner. No radio at all. At least the Van Zandt had a radio. And it looks like the Van Zandt somehow managed to actually use higher quality materials than the Van Zandt, which they didnât think was possible. Ryan declares that âI think this interior might actually be worse than my grandpaâs old pickup!â
Once they get on the road, the car is reasonably well-mannered, similar to many of the other cars theyâve driven, even with a rear-wheel drive setup, probably thanks in part to a limited slip differential. The suspension is just a little bit stiff for comfort, but in combination with thin tires and thinner seats, riding in the Van Zandt is an unpleasant experience full of wind noise, road noise, engine noise, and teeth-rattling jolts. They agree that it is the least comfortable car they have tested. It also struggles on the dirt road, although not as badly as the Van Zandt.
The Verdict
Ryan and Esposito agree that the Lucida has solid performance and would be well-received by the accountants and mechanics for its above-average reliability and gas mileage and cheaper-than-average service costs. But the Lucidaâs outdated safety features are a major drawback, and the extremely cheap interior would no doubt leave troopers grumbling about the cars if they were purchased. Itâs also not helped by poor off-road ability and a general lack of charm. The Lucida might have been a more competitive offering 10 years ago, but Ryan and Esposito agree that the design has failed to keep up with the times enough for them to recommend it to their superiors.
7 Likes
Ryan and Espositoâs Recommendations
After combing through the paperwork and spending the day test driving all of the vehicles, Ryan and Esposito are back at Ryanâs desk and have just written up a draft of their recommendations to their captain.
Ryan scratches his head. âI donât know, Espo, I just feel like none of these cars stood out in a way where thereâs a slam dunk choice, you know what I mean?â
Esposito nods. âI hear you. Itâs like there wasnât a single car that didnât have some sort of major weakness.â
âYeah, and I also just feel like the scoring criteria the captain gave us donât quite add up somehow, or have some holes in them. I mean, looking at our draft here, some of these outcomes just donât feel quite right, but you know what the captain told us about thisâif itâs not written in the criteria he gave us, itâs not a rule or something we can consider. I just wish that there were some things we could consider or weigh differently.â
âYou mean like the Megocom without its third brake light?â
âYep.â
âOr how a bunch of these manufacturers seemed to be trying to butter us up with fancy leather interiors and tech features that you know the brass are never going to spring for when they actually buy these?â
âThat too.â
âOr how we donât have any cutoff for performance or the ability to throw out the cars that were worst in terms of performance?â
âYep, that as well.â
Esposito sighs. âWell, letâs just play by the rules and see how the numbers came out with the scoring criteria the captain gave us.â
[Note: Scoring is done on a normalized scale relative to other entries. A car that scored exactly average in every category would receive a total score of 3.50. There is no theoretical maximum score.]
8th Place - Wells Lucida PPV - 3.26 pts
Ryan looks at his spreadsheet. âOK, in 8th place I have the Lucida.â
Esposito nods. âThat checks out. Itâs not bad performance-wise, but the outdated safety features arenât doing it any favors. And that interior. Man, itâs like they turned cost-cutting into an art form.â
7th Place - Vermillion Valor 354 Sport - 3.34 pts
âNext, I have the Vermillion,â says Ryan.
âYeah, thatâs not a bad sports car, and itâs pretty solid across the board, but I just donât think itâs what weâre looking for. Especially with the manual transmission.â
6th Place - TBC Suide ST07 - 3.42 pts
Ryan looks at his spreadsheet. âMan, I really thought this one was going to come out higher. I have the TBC in 6th.â
Esposito shakes his head. âDamn. I really liked that car. Fast, corners well, handles like a dream, and was a comfortable ride too. And it looked mean.â
âYeah, but you know thereâs no way the brass are going to want to spend so much money servicing and gassing up that car.â
âYeah, yeah, I know,â Esposito mutters.
5th Place - Van Zandt Cavalier Intender - 3.45 pts
Ryan shakes his head as he reads off the next one. âThen we have the Van Zandt in 5th.â
âMan, that one was just so inconsistent! Absolutely the fastest, best-cornering one there, and definitely the best-looking one, too. But it was just so uncomfortable. And the fact that it couldnât even handle a dirt roadâthat wasnât good.â
âYeah, I was really rooting for that one,â says Ryan.
4th Place - Arnoc Interceptor - 3.51 pts
âNext is the Arnoc. I gotta say, Iâm surprised this one isnât higher up.â
âYeah,â Esposito nods in agreement. âThat one was fast, comfortable, and had rock-solid safety. Why isnât it higher up?
Ryan checks his numbers. âSecond worst cornering, pretty expensive to service, and second worst gas mileage.â
âRight, right, that one just looked like it would have cornered better, you know? Anyway, whatâs next?â
3rd Place - Flint Sentinel Interceptor - 3.56 pts
âThat would be the Flint Sentinel.â
âThe what?â
âThe Flint Sentinel.â
Esposito stares blankly at Ryan.
âYou knowâŚthe Pontiac Impala with the personality of a bar of soap?â
Espositoâs eyes widen with recognition. âOh, yeah, that one! I forgot about that one. Wait, how is that one so far up the list?â
âYou basically have to try really hard to break that thing, itâs easy to fix if it does break, and it was otherwise just sort of ânot badâ at most things.â
âYeah, except that it was kinda slow, not that comfortable, and didnât do so well on that dirt road. Although, hey, are we giving bonus points for ability to do undercover work? I feel like that thingâs so bland it would be perfect for being inconspicuous. Or maybe so inconspicuous-looking that it would look like youâre trying to be inconspicuous, so that would be conspicuous? Ah, I donât know. Anyway, what does that leave us with?â
2nd Place - Volitor Metropolitan 3.6 Limited - 3.67 pts
âThat puts the Volitor in 2nd place.â
âThe Volitor!? The land yacht!?"
âYes, the Volitor.â
Esposito puts a hand to his temple. âWasnât that thing the absolute slowest, worst-handling one we tested?â
âYeah, but that was pretty much the only thing it was bad at. I think we pegged it at above average in literally every other single category.â
âAnd it was really comfortable.â
âNot to mention that it was actually kinda a viable offroader.â
Esposito nods. âYeah, I guess that would make a decent patrol car as long as youâre just chasing Honda Civics down the highway. But I would think the brass would want to supplement it with something faster for when they really needed the speed and handling.â
Esposito pauses. âSo, wait, what does that leave us with as our top recommendation?â
1st Place - Megocom Jetta Burnout - 3.78 pts
Ryan looks at his spreadsheet. âThe Megocom.â
âThe Megocom? The one that was half-finished?â
âI mean, there wasnât a rule against it being half-finished.â
âPlease donât tell me Iâm going to have to drive around in one of those. How is that one at the top of the list?â
âItâs basically like the Volitor but a little bit faster and much better-handling. I think its straight-line speed was a little worse than average, but literally everything else about it was above average. Not to mention that the accountants would absolutely love it. Itâs a full $3,000 cheaper than the next cheapest option, gets 29 miles per gallon, and second-cheapest to service. The numbers donât lie.â
Esposito looks thoughtfully at the ceiling. âAlright, but hopefully that was a prototype and they get that brake light on there and clean up the styling. Come to think of it, that was a really good car. I can get on board with that.â
Ryan looks at Esposito. âSo are we good? Can I send this off to the captain?â
âYeah, send it off to the captain. I think I could get used to a Megocom.â
6 Likes
Nice, good stuff! Hopefully SrPinguino can get here and put some words in as well!
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Thanks for the review. IIRC I made the interior cheap because I felt that the perps didnt need creature comforts, completely skipping past how the officers may feel on day to day driving. I remember thinking a bout a radio, then i said FUCK THAT RADIOâŚ
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