Nope…just thought I’d look at throwing an FM in and seeing what gets crapped out at the other end.
OK. If you make a new car from scratch it will have +5 techpool by default (if you have upgraded to 4.2 beta, which this challenge will be run in, that is). If reusing an old car, you have to put everything at +5 manually. Look at the quality sliders and you will see that they now have a second number at the bottom. Click on that to reach the techpool menu.
(BTW, I hope you join for RPing in that case because you have always been good at it)
I’m here for the RP, don’t worry…although Gran’s getting on a bit these days so I may field a new team…
Another thing about RP…
If you’re used to this challenge, you know. If your experience with RP only consists of the SR challenge though, keep in mind that this will be much more fast paced. Absolutely no 2 week turnaround times (at least unless life comes in the way for me) and things happening all the time. Can be worth keeping in mind.
(Snap, Crackle and Spanners) made up of former military personnel.
“Snap” - As in the sound breaking bones make
Ex Military Police
Age - 30
“Crackle” - Radio engineer
Age - 29
“Spanners” - General “bodge it” mechanic
Age – 29
Spanners - flicking through Automart magazine
Crackle - So it’s a 24 hour race in old cars?
Spanners - Yup!
Snap - And it’s in Sweden?
Spanners - Yup!
Snap - And you think a Franklin Marshall is the way to go.
Spanners - Look guys…FMs aren’t as bad as you think. Every time I enter these things the Franklin hasn’t let me down,
Snap - So we going for the Cerberus then?
Spanners - Nope…HiWay.
Crackle - But it’ll be the all-singing-all-dancing GTX?
Spanners - Nope…Funding doesn’t go that far…maybe a GTS, if I can find one cheap enough.
Snap+Crackle…What the actual fu…
OOC - Now I have to workout what all these new things do in Automation…can we go back to the Kee engine please???
…and I raise you Detroit on an Amiga 500.
Wow, an Amiga?
I had Detroit on a Sinclair Spectrum 16K with a 32K RAM Pack!
Yeah and I was running a pirated version of it on a cardboard box on the motorway.
Is there supposed to be a naming convention, that we should conform to?
Prologue for Mrdja’s team
Admitedly, a lot of things is still going to be WIP. Car being used is decided only today and we have total of two characters atm that are likely to appear here
Ofc that extends to team name.
Mat Hammeltau has exited the showroom to greet potential customers, ones that announced their arrival about two hours ago.
“So, what can i do to help you?”
“Sell us a car, plain and simple. We had arrived here bcos some ppl we know live nearby, so we want something that isnt expensive.
We would have no use of car afterwards, so you may buy it back, but that means that budget we are willing to use for car would be rather low.”
Mat:“But its in our best interest as sellers to sell for fair amount of money. Besides, cheaping out on car is never a good idea, mainly bcos that might have very expensive consequences.”
“We believe there might be something you are willing to haggle for…something you desperately want gone, bcos only thing it does is fill one parking space on your car park.
We do have knowledge and skills to repair it and arent shying away from something that is obviously used a lot.”
Mat: “In that case…i may have an idea.”
(Still Mat, after checking notification on his phone)
OMG its happening, its really happening"
“What is happening?”
“Trafikjournalen announced they are going to accept entries into 40th edition of 24h clunkers.
Im following them from very beggining and dreaming of entering the event.
Its so much fun.”
“Hmm…what is it about?”
Mat: Well fun. Clunker is term for vehicle that isnt in particularly good condition and with low value.
They are organizing a race around racing track and winner is team that pulls out most laps of said track.
This is not about pure speed tho, there is lot of contact and breakdowns…some teams dont even manage to last all 24h bcos their car got so broken that it cant be easily repaired.
I guess you are interested?
Klimentol: That seems like fun activity.
You should have looked at how they duked it out on track. And yes, Trafikjournalen personnel also participates but they are far from being competitive.
There is place for some weirdos like you too: one of teams in previous run was Shift Happens, blessed with unusual appearance.
Klimentols surprized reaction prompted Mat to ask
You know them?
Unfortunately, yes…they were organizers of certain other activity we participated in that involves cheap cars.
Very good chaps, would be glad to meet them again.
Why you said that you “unfortunately” know them, then?
For two reasons:
-One of their members is about as agressive driver as my son, robot i named Chicota.
-They are very big: not uncommon to see over 2.5m in height. This means very big car to fit them all in.
Mix that with allowed contact between vehicles and im not sure how anyone else will handle that.
Mat: Forgot to mention that, for reasons, teams usually dont come in very car they are entering as sole mode of transport.
Only one member - driver- is in the vehicle during race.
Bcos said race lasts for such a long time, drivers are changed from time to time.
Would be reasonable to dedicate 3 or 4 ppl on driving duty.
Rest of team can repair stuff on car or refuel it when car is in pits, depending on whats needed at moment.
That being said, they did entered mid-size Sinistra last time.
And that was indeed driven very agressively from time to time.
Hmm, ye, race seems tempty and we would both lack something better to do and not really be in time crunch.
So, ye, im interested in joining.
Might be appropriate send-off for whatever shitbox we decide to buy here.
So it begins
You already have Klimentol being mentioned, good observers might even guess what vehicle will be used and ofc there is more to come
(Thank you to @Elizipeazie for collaborating on me with characters. Valentin and Norse are his.)
-Race: Aetheriian Tiger Valraadi
-Age: 98 (149)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 9 inches tall (top of his head, 8 feet flat to the top of his horns), 450 pounds of muscle, has a tail as long as he is tall tipped with black, venomous quills, dark gray fur, black stripes, black lion’s mane, black ear-tufts, demon-like rearward-curved horns on his head, orange feline eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger demon.
Appearance by Hero Forge
Notes: Wearing his prescription glasses to correct his farsightedness, doesn’t actually have a proper fire suit or racing helmet, so he’s wearing his old pilot’s jacket and a military helmet.
-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 69 (103)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 8 inches tall, 415 pounds of muscle, snow white fur and black stripes, blue eyes, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger.
Appearance by Hero Forge
Notes: While Hero Forge does not have anything that resembles a fire suit, I figured leather wouldn’t be the worst choice. Wearing his combat helmet because his head won’t fit in a racing helmet.
-Race: Panthirian Tigrilan
-Age: 69 (103)
-Appearance: 6 feet, 5 inches tall, 175 pounds, athletic, with snow white fur and black stripes, a shiny chrome mechanical left arm with black painted stripes matching her natural pattern, and blue eyes, with the general appearance of a bipedal walking tigress. Wears a titanium ring on her left ring finger. Her left arm is two inches longer than her right.
Appearance by Hero Forge
Notes: Seen wearing her motorcycle gear. It’s not perfect, but it is better than nothing.
-Race: Aetheriian Leoni
-Age: 35 (54)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 5 inches tall, 375 pounds, heavy athletic, with dark brown fur, black mane, tail tuft, and ‘beard’, calm green feline eyes, a mechanical left leg starting mid thigh made from blackened boiler steel, brass, and wood accents, with the general appearance of a bipedal walking lion. Has a really nasty looking bite scar on his left shoulder and a rather rough and ragged looking scar from his right cheek to his right temple, crossing his eye but not blinding him. Wears a titanium ring on his left ring finger.
Appearance by Hero Forge
Notes: Seen currently in the process of almost-dropping Kaylie’s malfunctioning laptop. Has no fashion sense because he’s new to Earth styles.
-Race: Orthrian Khalan (Khalara Five)
-Age: 51 (358)
-Appearance: 7 feet, 11 inches tall (8 feet, 1 inch to the top of his ears), 500 pounds of broad-shouldered, twin-headed muscle, with pure white fur, cold amber eyes, and the general appearance of a two-headed, bipedal werewolf.
Appearance by Hero Forge
Notes: Seen only with one head due to limitations. Holding the BFH that might be used to “fix” their car at some point.
-Race: Light-Aetheriian/Valraadi Hybrid (Post Fall-of-Aetherii)
-Age: 41 (62)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 6 inches tall, 520 pounds of muscle, with two tails as long as he is tall, tipped with black, non-venomous quills, black fur, dark red stripes, black lion’s mane, no ear-tufts, demon-like rearward-curved horns on his head, vivid purple feline eyes, four arms, and the general appearance of a bipedal walking tiger demon.
Appearance by Hero Forge
Notes: Seen carrying a wrench, water bottle, and a toolbox which he really shouldn’t have left where he put it.
-Race: Khalan (Khalara Five)
-Age: 25 (175)
-Appearance: 8 feet, 10 inches tall (9’0” to the top of his ears), 645 pounds, relatively muscular torso with sturdy-looking mechanical limbs replacing both arms at the shoulders, and both legs slightly below mid-thigh. Limbs are made of titanium, no specialized plating. Golden amber lupine eyes, gray fur resembling the average American Gray Wolf, has a gold ring on his left ring finger. General appearance of a bipedal, cybernetically-enhanced werewolf.
Appearance by Hero Forge
Notes: Seen moments after having stepped backwards, midway through tripping over a toolbox someone left in the way. Not ordinarily clumsy, but… potentially distracted in the moment.
-Appearance: 7 feet, 3 inches tall, 222 pounds of skin and bones, what little muscle mass is heavily biased towards the lower body, almost Vampire-like pale skin, light grey-ish blonde hair going down to his waist, light blue eyes covered in thin rectangular frameless glasses, exposed skin (except face) riddled with abrasive-caused scars, a deeper one running diagonally across his back.
Appearance by Sims 4
Notes: One of Elizipeazie’s characters. As a result, I don’t know much about him in comparison to my own. Also, the left leg of his pants would not be rolled up.
-Appearance: 6 feet, 1 inch tall, 174 pounds of somewhat athletic body composition, also biased towards the lower half, otherwise aggressively generic-looking, with short brown hair and brown eyes.
Trim: 9G11 Police Cruiser
Everyone in America has seen them. The iconic police car. Whether it’s in a movie somewhere, or you’re the unlucky one to have the flashing red-and-blue lights behind you, we all know what these black-and-white cars mean.
“Someone is about to have a very bad day.”
This old brute of a barge is propelled by a 400 cubic inch V8, derived from the same block that makes the formidable 427 cubic inch engine. A four speed automatic provides the needed ease-of-use for the average police officer in times of need.
Well… At least, until this one was retired in 2003, when the next generation of cruisers took over.
Shift Happens managed to get their hands on this one a while back and it’s been sitting behind the warehouse for a year or two. Last year, they had to get rid of a troublesome Traville someone bought. This year, they put a little effort into the Grand Warden. Mostly because it just wasn’t right that Kivenaal was using a “perfectly good” car…
… for target practice. Sure, it has some rust, and there’s a PIT-Maneuver-induced dent in the corner of the plastic front bumper, and the paint has faded miserably in the Nevada sun, but it is a car.
Sure, it has battle scars, worn paint, bullet wounds, and dozens of problems, but will this old chariot haul them to victory?
Like everyone else, we’ll just have to wait and see.
A dark haired man in the mid-30s and a brand new, flashy and obviously unused racing suit enters and says with an unmistakable swagger in his tone. “Hello everyone, my name is Corazon de Carrera, and I am a world famous racing driver!”
Another person enters, about the same age and height, but with curly hair and regular, if a bit sloppy, clothing. He glances disapprovingly at the first person and states, slightly irritated. “My name is Michael Egbert, and I actually have a racing driver license.”
A third person enters from the other side, much taller than the other two. He joins them and states eagerly: “I am Lucas Dobberstonehaugh and I want to become a racing driver.”
A fourth person with long flowing dark hair and a dark red mechanic overall lowers herself from a pole from the floor above. She spins around and states. “I am Jane Warlock, and I can build cars for racing drivers, actual and otherwise…” She glances at Michael and Corazon, in that order.
A fifth person sneaks into the room, shorter than the others, and wearing colourful clothing that matches her hair colour. The camera lowers itself slightly to catch her in close to the centre of the picture. “And I am Mary Small, I keep track of all their expenses and team morale… and why did we have to say all that?”
“We always say that at the start… or something like that at least.” Corazon states, almost dismissively.
“But we haven’t done this before, have we?” Michael wonders.
“Not this, but other… stuff… somewhat like this.” Jane is searching for words.
“Alright, so why are we here?” Corazon begins to be impatient. “I want to go for a race!”
“We first would need a car, wouldn’t we?” Mary stated the obvious.
“Then let’s go get one… and how do we do that?”
“As we do all things when we are… others”, Jane explains patiently. “We roll for it. What do we roll for our main car?”
“1d20”, shouts a faint voice from outside the room.
“There!” Jane points to a table with a set of dice and a laptop.
The five make their way to the table. On screen is a list of twenty cars - their potential rides to take part in the Trafikjournalen 24h Clunker Challenge in Sweden. Jane picks up the D20 die from the table and turns around to the others. “Ready?”
“Roll something decent for us… please”, pleads Michael.
“And… a 12. That’s a… 1993 Seongu Kando II”, Jane announces. “As far as I recall, 1993 was their last model year before they were replaced by the ‘egg’ that was the Kando III. That roll is not too bad actually.”
Corazon is immediately aggravated. “A Seongu? Don’t tell me, it’s white, like the kitchen appliances from the Hangseong conglomerate where Seongu belongs to. And yes, don’t ask me how I know that.”
“It is white”, Jane has to admit. Corazon and the rest approach Jane’s laptop where a picture is displayed on screen.
“And you say, it’s not a bad roll? I had hoped for something sporty - like a Montebianco, or a Turból.” Corazon’s anger turned into disappointment.
“Could be worse”, Michael interjects. “Could be a Mara.”
Corazon shudders visibly.
“At least it’s not expensive”, Mary, the treasurer, states relieved.
“Is it easy to drive?” wonders Lucas.
“It is easy to drive”, Michael reassures him, thinking of all the driving lessons he had given Lucas where things had not gone well on first roll. “… since it doesn’t have any power”, he adds through clenched teeth.
“I heard that”, says Jane. “And I am sure I can do something about that. Let’s go get the car! Who wants to join me?”
“Let’s roll for that…”, Michael suggests, not overly excited.
OOC: anyone recognise who I am basing this on? It’s funnier when you know, so I figure I better ask
Some of you may know this team from Shitbox Rally, but if you don’t, i’ll give you a quick run-down. And yes, nobody’s lives will be jeoparised by us this time. (OOC: Characters of mine now have last names rather than initials)
Matt Smith- The main man behind the whole team, He has his fair share of mechanical knowledge on vehicles. There since the beginning of Team Slow, Despite the team name, the cars are not that slow,
He is 21 years old.
Appearance: Matt is 5’9 and has messy brown hair, he wears sunglasses, a t-shirt and an muscular body, more so than average.
Isabella “Izzy” Jackson- Former Schnell engineer, Recent addition to the team, Matt’s girlfriend and a not very good driver in track racing. Despite that, she would take in the opportunity of racing a car around a track for 24 hours. She is 23 years old.
Appearance: Izzy is pale with ginger hair and she is 5’6 and wears some casual attire, she has shoulder-length hair and skinny, but not chubby. Fairly attractive appearance.
Matt goes into the living room as Izzy sits there on the couch and watches TV, and then tells her about the clunkers challenge
Matt: Izzy, I think i may have found a Clunkers race, You’re up for it? I bet you’d like it
Izzy: After, well, a certain set of events. I may not want to go ruin the reputation of the team if i’m there.
Matt: It’s been a long time since that happened, you’ve gotten better and I pretty much have nobody else that would want to join it
Izzy: Sure then, let’s go for it, and hopefully we’d make it to the end.
Izzy walks up to a computer, and then goes and looks at the auction sites for a suitable car for racing. Matt also goes to the computer which Izzy is using and they scroll through various vehicles.
Matt: There’s this sedan for sale, seems to be in good shape, want it?
Izzy: Sure, it’ll work for the challenge, as long as it lasts.
Matt: Wait, the race doesn’t open for a while, so we’d have good choices
Izzy: Well, i’m gonna tell you right now, 1.8 I4 and RWD, Does that feel familliar to you?
Matt sees the listing, the both go to the location of the seller and inspect the vehicle, the car is all clear, and they purchase the car and then go home to apply the clunker spec mods to it, and then they start work on the vehicle, Izzy looks at the spec-sheet and it all matches up. She gets out from under the car and says “I think this works fine, what’d ya think?” Matt then replies “Yeah, it’s suitable for the race”
Surely the car is a turd, but it’ll work, it has a bit of rust on the edge of the side near the skirts, but the brakes and suspension are in good condition. The car in question is an 2001 Schnell N40 1.8S, It’s got air conditioning, 5 speed MT, RWD and a tuned 1.8L NA i4 with tubular manifold, full cat/muffler delete making a whole 132HP.
Our tuned up result (Vehicle subject to change, and this took too long for me to write up)
TRAFIKJOURNALEN WEB, AUGUST OF 2022
Now, there is no more guessing. This will be what we are going to trash in the 24h clunker event this year. A 1994 Saarland Ambrosia Pilger.
“Wait, 1994?”, some of you say. Yes. By now it may be forgotten by some people, but the first generation Saarland Ambrosia WAS sold as a 1994 model, making this one of the last of the bunch. The second generation arrived as a “1994½” model.
That also means that this is the last iteration of the all-iron inline six with its roots in 1966 (not counting the semi-related 24V DOHC now), the 2.6 litre unit with the fancy “Varitek” manifold. Being a Pilger (wagon) of course means that there is a clutch pack LSD like the wagons always had, and it has a 5 speed manual transmission, which is kind of rare on the 2.6.
Stay tuned for more info about race-prepping of this granny-mobile!
Prologue: Composition and union
Now it all comes together
(Few minutes spent checking car)
Klimentol: Seems we had reached an agreement here.
I might just want to see some documents, preferably original.
Mat: Are you sure?
Klimentol: Why wouldnt i be sure? Besides, you dont want to give impression of hiding something…
Mat: We might be hiding something, but its related to documents not the car.
And its all my fault.
Klimentol: Im not going to really buy car i dont know history of from actual dealership.
It would be expected that you guys would take care of documentation of what you sell.
Mat: Yeah, about that…i hardly think documents decorated by 2y old using crayons would count as being cared for.
That is only fault they have btw.
Klimentol: Only an irresponsible parent would allow for that to happen.
Mat: HEY YOU! COME HERE REAL QUICK, OUR CUSTOMER HAS VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO SAY
Older guy had been called and he came.
Mat: Pls repeat what you said about crayon decorated documents
(Klimentol did so, confused)
Guy: Ah i get it…just so you know Mat, it is fault of both of us.
I feel he failed to inform you about who used said crayons on documents…25y ago.
(He had gone and came back with folder
Klimentol looked and indeed…child drawings)
Thats still on whoever was taking care of both him and documents.
Problem is he wanted to help no matter what
Driving his old man up the wall
Which, yes, would be yours truly.
More details about that here:
TMCC 21 - The average family (RESULTS!) - #55 by MrdjaNikolen
Cant argue why this isnt really something to be proud of but appreciate the honesty.
And tbf i do like your family dynamic.
Mat’s dad: What are you supposed to be?
Klimentol: I doubt you will believe me, but im dog. This isnt a mask of any kind…its me.
Just so happens that im much more intelligent and knowledgable than others.
This does seem perfectly acceptable for us.
Btw, (glances at name tag on uniform) Mat…we will stay in touch and im glad i met you.
I feel there might be chance to meet up again in future.
Mat: I dont know what you are talking about.
Klimentol: Perfect…joking ofc but ye, we will stay in touch.
Car as it used to be back in 1997:
(Its ofc going to be modded to comply with TMCC: already complies mechanically, but is not rusty enough for such old vehicle with untreated steel panels; post will be updated with additional pics to reflect this when i submit)
Truck rescue and what happens in meantime
Car being bought, it was time to go and pick up some ppl from Stockholm airport.
Well…two ppl and one special dog, just like Klimentol.
Aydar: You bought this?
Klimentol: Yes, will serve us well. Thanks to fact these two have Letaran driver licences, we will be clear in front of law too.
Will be not-very-comfortable, but hey, we dont need to borrow Volvo of our hosts for everything we do.
Btw, where is your dad?
Aydar: He opted to go via land by himself.
And i can already sense…trouble.
Older Aydar, that will be refered to as Gromadon from now on, was indeed in some serious issues.
He couldnt understand what ppl were saying around him and passing border wasnt as easy as just lining up with cars.
This wasnt helped by fact only creatures that could understand him would be police dogs, which sadly would not know language of their handlers.
He also brought no documents with him.
Out of fear, everyone allowed him to pass bcos they werent aware of what could happen otherwise.
Not to mention restraining him would be out of their abilities
This all changed when one trucker overestimated handling capabilities of his composition, causing him to leave the road.
It was rather rainy and as such surface was muddy enough to guarantee that truck is going nowhere.
Gromadon naturally got interested to horror of everyone around stuck vehicle. He decided to try to push lightly without results, trying to see which area of truck is sturdy enough to handle the force.
Very quickly, humans saw that this monstruous dog is in fact trying to push composition back to road and not trying to get them as snack.
This was tedious job, even for him but, since he was already there and saw no other method they can use to extract it, he pushed through.
Finally, truck was back on road to everyone’s excitement.
Suddenly, borders werent such a big issue anymore.
He got hungry, but Sweden was in sight.
In fact, his popularity meant he was easily followed now by some ppl, meaning group that was already in Sweden could meet him up on road.
“Have you got anything to eat? Im very hungry.”
“Yes. We havent been looking forward to your popularity but it is what it is. Also might need to see if there is any place we could leave you.
Host might have some ideas.”
Short phone call later, host did had some ideas.
One was at his workplace and other was at their godfather’s business.
Gromadon decided that best option would be switching up between the two.
It was said that they will expect his size and strength would be put to good usage, on which he just sighed and noted that some Serbian-speaker should be present to navigate him through job at hand.
Now with all that are expected being present, some overall enjoyment of scenery was in line.
Quint is technically brother-in-law and cousin to two hosts and uncle to their children. Basically all members of this team were at some point involved to care about said two boys, or in Gromadon’s case, serve as their furry playground.
They thankfully do know and understand Serbian.
Union and preparation for race
Soon becomes clear that all that could be done was done…except for one thing.
Mat: Oh my, that vehicle seems very familiar…it is. That very same Saguaro.
What are you guys doing here, trying to resell it back to us after you (ab)used it?
Klimentol: Not really, we figured it would be cool to modify our car for that 24h event you mentioned to me…also came to pick up our last team member.
Klimentol: Yes. Having someone familiar with said event would help us to prepare car. Besides, if im not mistaken, you did expressed desire to participate in it.
Mat: Should be noted that car will only have one seat as per rules and there are five of us it seems.
And you dont exactly have another car, not to mention this might not be in working condition after event
Klimentol: I think i may have 6th member in plan that would solve all of these problems. We just need to make some platform so he can carry us and car to race.
As was case in SR, team members are arranged by their age
27y old, working at Kolondra Selling and Service Center Stockholm
This is our source of race happening in first place and as such would be highly enthusiastic about it.
Only member with non-Earth genes (he is Gasmean, but raised and living in Sweden)
Duplicate of Mrdja featured in Shitbox Rally:
2022 Shitbox Rally - Out of This World! (Results Out!) - #30 by MrdjaNikolen
Unlike Mrdja, this guy doesnt need glasses. He also led operations in Letara and acquired driver licence there.
As for being 24 against Mrdja’s 23…birthday has since passed IRL (August 14th) so miscrepancy reflects this.
Duplicate of VerBanka featured in Shitbox Rally.
She also led operations in Letara and acquired driver licence there.
As for being 24 against VerBanka’s 23…birthday has since passed IRL (October 4th) so miscrepancy reflects this.
Another thing that should be noted is that, unlike originals, these two are in mutual relationship AKA Omega is Quint’s girlfriend.
Mechanics are 4)Klimentol Senior
5) Gromadon V/Aydar Junior, both already being featured in SR.
Aydar Junior will be adressed as Aydar, as per nickname of his father
Speaking of which…
6) Gromadon IV/Aydar Senior Mravolinski Ludjoephantom
This fella will be addressed as per his real name Gromadon
Just like his son, he has nickname Aydar that was more often used than Gromadon - actually this is original user of said nickname.
His job is to be support “vehicle”, hauling entry car, all of spares, equipment and…everyone else i listed above.
Yes, he can move under all of this load without much of problem, even though thats going to require solid platform in order to carry everything
Platform will be closed off at bottom, so Gromadon cant scare off teams that arent used to seeing someone of his size, they will just see platform from which car and rest of team descended thats closed off entirely beggining 2m from ground to end at ground level.
Open for subs, in case someone has missed that.
Looking at the car’s overall shape, I reckon you used one of the bodies in the legacy body pack mod (specifically, the A4-esque 4-door body that dates back to the Kee era) - it doesn’t look as good as the body that replaced it, but you did a good job with it nonetheless.
SOME WEEKS BEFORE THE POST ON THE TRAFIKJOURNALEN WEB
The people involved, as usual
(Pictures via This Person Does Not Exist - Random Face Generator)
The Captain slow of the staff. Someone that likes offroading and driving slow seems like the perfect driver on the track, or maybe not. IP enthusiast that never have owned anything else. The best mechanic of the bunch, though.
The “old man” of the bunch, but also fastest and the one with the most experience in racing. Mostly an enthusiast of italian cars, which shows in his personal vehicle fleet, even though his first car many moons ago was a 1967 Volvo 144.
The hot blooded youngster that played pinball on the track with the IP Urbana last year. Though he has at least grown a bit too old for ricers at the moment and now drives a fairly stock VF Disco GTi, but is dreaming of a Hinode MID2.
Filip Andersson entered the Trafikjournalen office and threw in some keys.
"Guess what this is!", he said.
"Looks like the keys to a 90s Saarland, how come you’re asking?", Hansen answered. "Some lost keys you found outside, or…?"
"Nah, but I have found the car for 24h of clunkers this year. A 1994 Saarland Ambrosia.", he answered.
"The old or new shape?", Hansen asked curiously.
"The old one. A 2.6."
"Ohhh, the good old cast iron pig from the 60s. Weighs like a small house, drinks fuel like an alcoholic, sings like a horny wolf. Perfect! But it is an automatic, right?"
"Hey, this is actually starting to sound somewhat sane!", Hansen answered.
"Haha, well, at least a cooler shape on the track", Hansen said. But some extra weight too, oh well."
"Don’t forget that the wagon version actually had a clutch pack LSD as standard!", Carlén was shouting from the other end of the room.
"Haha, you might as well have found a bargain then", Hansen asked. "Was it expensive?"
"Expensive? I took the freaking crapmobile out of grandma’s hands. She simply should not drive anymore! You recall the serious accident involving a military Mercedes Sprinter and a bunch of cyclists earlier this year?", Andersson answered, now fairly upset.
"Vaguely", Carlén answered.
"Well, that was the last time I was riding with her, let’s just say that I recall her cutting off that actual Sprinter earlier that day. Who knows, might have contributed by annoying the driver, or something. We took a different road so I didn’t see that accident happen but I remember how goddamned unsafe her driving was."
The team went outside to look at the beige bargain…
Carlén and Hansen was laughing a bit at the beat up wagon with its mismatched red front bumper, and lots of surface rust everywhere due to scraped off paint.
"The last years she bumped into absolutely everything she saw, I think", Andersson told them. "It has not always been like this. She…and yeah, well, grandpa when he was alive…bought it brand new actually. Can you imagine? They traded in their 1976 Saarland Kardinal for this just because they wanted heated seats! Damn…oh well, I wasn’t even born in 1994, but dad said that thing was mint…"
(Picture of a completely unrelated 1966-77 Saarland Kardinal as a reference)
Hansen opened the door of the battered station wagon which smelled exactly like he had expected.
"Haha, damn, look at this ocean of brown velour! I guess that this was what you thought was luxury if you were old enough to remember WW2 and the year was 1994.", he said, and coughed. The stench of filterless Commerce cigarrettes, mint pastilles, old lady perfume and…well, brown velour, was immense.
"Seems like it has some luxuries that we absolutely won’t need too. Oh well, the leather wrapped steering wheel gives some grip on the track compared to a plastic one I guess. Electric windows, hardly needed. Air conditioning that I doubt will work. Ohhh, an electric sunroof too, does that work?, he said and pressed the button without anything happening. "Haha, absolutely not!"
They kept looking through the car for more bargains. In the glovebox, Carlén found some pretty fresh invoices that almost worried him.
"Look here, they have actually installed a brand new radiator and water pump and overhauled the brakes TOTALLY just months ago. I guess the shop owner got himself a nice vacation this year considering the cost…damn, you simply don’t do that on a 1994 Ambrosia, and it was not like they were actually cheap on the work either…"
Carlén found an invoice that was a little over a year old too.
"This can’t be true…they have installed new shock absorbers and springs up front, and four brand new tyres…of course it was the same shop, and cheap…ehhh no."
Andersson went out and looked on the tyres since he had not reflected over that, and he actually got a chance to laugh.
"HAHAHAH, YEAH AND THEY ARE NAMED LIUZOU FIRESTARTER XXR-402!, he laughed. "I bet they will go up in smoke just fine!"
Meanwhile, Hansen found a tape in the centre console.
"Herb Alpert and the Tijuana brass. Why do old people always have random tapes in their car? Such ones you can’t find for sale anywhere but yet not obscure enough to be interesting."
"Shouldn’t we go for a test drive?", Carlén suggested.
Let’s just say that it was subjected to some hard testing, to the tones of “The lonely bull” by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass blaring from the Saarland premium audio system from 1994…
"OK, transmission grinds on downshift, the voltmeter is a bit unstable, the rear end is as soft as a mushy sponge and the steering is even more vague than it should be on a 1994 Ambrosia, other than that it seems to be kind of…well, mint is the wrong word but at least it has some chances to actually finish", Carlén said.
"Yeah, and don’t pop off the plastic covering on the sills", Andersson answered. "At this moment they probably do a better work of holding the car together than the sills themselves…"
"Damn… A stout inline six. Rear wheel drive. Manual gearbox. LSD. Wagon. You remember when they were everywhere? When you could get goodness like this almost for free?", Hansen was reflecting.
"Yeah, but we never can appreciate nice things when we really have them. You know. Saarland. Old man’s car. Nobody finds them exciting, because, frankly, they are not. I don’t know how they manage to do that", Carlén answered.
To be continued…
It’s one of the vanilla 80s BMW-Esque bodies