Ah, I see. At first I thought that was supposed to be a stammer. :D
1 Like
The Sabre trudges along…
I’ve never gotten this far in a TMCC before so this is a big W for me, even if I get knocked next round im happy.
1 Like
REVIEWS PART 2!
The decision was now made which cars that would look good enough on the TV screen, but also important was how well the image of the car did fit the upcoming protagonists.
(First a little OOC info how this works.
Since I noticed that some of the important stats are actually linked to each other, I deciced to put them in three different groups, which are cheapskate score (price, fuel economy, SVC) that explains itself, gag score (offroad, practicality, utility) that shows how well the vehicle copes with doing the reoccuring gags, and finally sensibility score (safety, reliability, driveability, comfort) that shows how well the vehicle works as a sensible mode of transportation for a family in 1997.
To go further to the finals, the vehicle has to score at least “fair” in the 5 point system (poor, weak, fair, good, excellent) in all three categories. So, “fair, fair, fair” actually is a ticket to the finals, while “weak, excellent, excellent” is not. How come?
Well, an UAZ Buhanka would probably score extremely well in the gag and cheapskate categories, but poor in the sensibility category. Do you think that an UAZ Buhanka is the right vehicle in this case? Neither do I.
Also, the rating is compared to other cars in this challenge. If I say “the reliability of car X is low” it means among the other cars in this challenge, not necessarily that your car is extremely bad overall.
So, maybe a bit of “spreadsheet elimination” and boring reviews this time, but remember, in the finals, subjective stuff like aesthetics will once again matter, as well as individual scores. Also, even if reviews are boring, I have some interesting surprises going for the finals.)
THE ONES THAT DID NOT MAKE THE CUT…
AXUUS SABRE - @DuceTheTruth100
The Axuus Sabre was the most expensive car to buy when new. Fact is that (adjusted for inflation) you could buy a Salon AND a Mara for the same amount of money.
Fuel economy is on the low side, still no disaster, but a large-ish engine and automatic transmisson probably contributes there.
Service costs are pretty much mid pack, neither high or low.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: POOR
The Sabre is a reasonably practical and utilitarian family wagon, albeit not impressive in any way, some competitors beats it both regarding space and load capacity.
As an RWD car with open diff and economy tyres, it will get stuck when some of the cars are still rolling on through the worst of roads.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
A rather nicely appointed interior and sophisticated rear suspension makes the Sabre a decently comfortable car.
It is the most pleasant car to drive of them all. Power steering, ABS, automatic transmission and predictable handling probably helps a lot here.
Sophisticated technology takes its toll and the Sabre is by no means a trouble-free car.
Advanced safety technology makes the Sabre one of the safest cars of the bunch.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
FMC GANNETT 3300i - @Lanson
For a car with a rather large engine and auto transmission, the fuel economy of the Gannett is acceptable, still it’s only average in this bunch of cars.
Service costs are on the higher side, even though there is worse cars.
The FMC Gannett was only marginally cheaper than the most expensive car, the Axuus.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: WEAK
Practicality and utility is slightly below average among the cars, due to, for example, a mediocre load capacity. However, it is still fair numbers.
The FMC will struggle in some of the offroading scenes with its RWD, hard tyre compound, open diff and low ground clearance. Fact is that it is the worst of all the cars.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
4 wheel independent suspension with a relatively well chosen tuning means that the FMC is the second most comfortable car of them all.
4 speed auto, a relatively flat torque curve, good handling, ABS, variable power steering all contributes to the FMC being almost as nice to drive as the Axuus.
Advanced technology takes its toll and the FMC has reliability slightly below average.
Being among the larger and more modern cars of the bunch, the safety rating of the FMC is rather high.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: EXCELLENT
BRICKSLEY WARDEN - @Madrias
3.9 litres of V6 in a large car with automatic transmission of course wants a sip every now and then. The fuel economy of the Bricksley leaves much to be desired.
Service costs of the Bricksley Warden are far from low.
This is a larger and more advanced car than most of the bunch - but that is also reflected in one of the worst purchase prices.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: WEAK
Due to the size, the Bricksley of course has decent room inside, but not impressive.
Despite the comfort oriented rear suspension type, the Bricksley has a high load capacity, one of the things bringing up the utility rating.
A LSD and more ground clearance than some of the competitors gives the Bricksley good offroadability for a RWD car.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
A large car with independent rear suspension, good sound insulation etc. gives the Bricksley a high rating for comfort - despite the rough running 90 degree V6.
Predictable handling, automatic transmission and all the driver assist systems available in 1987 means that it is an easy car to drive despite its size.
Reliability wise, the Bricksley is slightly below average in the group, but that is really just slightly.
The Bricksley is by far means the safest car of the bunch, probably due to sheer size and modern safety engineering.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: EXCELLENT
SALON BONUS DELUXE - @Mad_Cat
The Salon was the cheapest car to buy of them all in the group. Less then half the price of an Axuus.
No other of the cars even comes close to the low service costs of the Salon.
Some of the more modern cars gives better mileage, but that does not mean that the Salon is bad, it is remarkably better than average.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: EXCELLENT
The Salon is one of the smallest cars, and it shows, even if it is surprisingly roomy inside for its size and has a decent load capacity.
Finnish forest roads aren’t known to be autostradas, and that is evident in the engineering of the Salon. It can handle bad roads reasonably well.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
Comfort in the Salon is comparable to a torture chamber. No other car in the group is even close to being this bad.
Manual steering, manual transmission, hefty amounts of understeer, RWD with a primitive leaf sprung axle - driving experience really sends you back to 1974, more than any other of the cars.
Reliability is at a pretty average level - which maybe is not impressive considering the simple tech the car is built on.
Safety is the worst of the bunch due to small size and ancient engineering. At least this “luxury” version has decent headrests.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: POOR
SAGUARO T-REE 2000 WAGON - @MrdjaNikolen
For being such a small car, the Saguaro is really disappointing from an economical standpoint. Both fuel consumption, service costs and purchase price is higher than average.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: WEAK
When it comes to the ability to carry stuff, the Saguaro represents the average car more or less. Neither bad or good.
Offroad capability with an open differential, only front wheel drive and a less than ideal tyre compound is pretty mediocre.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
4 wheel independent suspension with an almost “french” suspension tuning means that the Saguaro has more than acceptable comfort for its class.
Power steering, front wheel drive, automatic transmission and a small footprint makes the Saguaro an extremely easy car to drive.
Reliability stats of the Saguaro are disappointing, in fact the worst of all the cars in the bunch.
The Saguaro has more safety equipment than usual for its class and era, making it a surprisingly safe car.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
WARREN WARLOCK - @Texaslav
The so called “Big block V6” gulps fuel like an old drunkard gulps discount beer.
Service costs are on the higher side.
Purchase price is the third highest after the Axuus and FMC.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: POOR
A car as big as a house can of course carry a whole house too more or less - when it comes to carrying loads and/or passengers the Warren is superb.
Despite being only RWD, the Warren manages to beat all the other cars, including the AWD ones, for offroading capability. The answer is probably in the Eaton G80 differential that this example is optioned with.
GAG SCORE: EXCELLENT
The Warren is the top contender when it comes to comfort. It is not unthreatened as king of the hill - the FMC comes close for example - but in the end the Warren is unbeaten.
For its size the Warren feels surprisingly nimble to drive. It can more than well compete with some of the smaller cars.
If only given a little service every now and then, a Warren Warlock can probably serve you for a large amount of years. Reliability is better than average.
Safety is on par with the average car - not notoriously bad but still not impressive considering its size and safety equipment.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
…AND THE ONES THAT GOES TO THE FINALS!
GASCAR 1015 1.6 - @conan
The Gascar is not a Gasguzzler but neither is it a Gassipper. It is pretty much mid pack when it comes to fuel economy.
Gascar has managed to keep service costs at a very sane level.
Considering the amount of car you get, the Gascar 1015 is surprisingly cheap.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: GOOD
Low load capacity somewhat overshadows the large amount of room this practical liftback has to offer.
Maybe because of the decent ground clearance, it manages to somewhat work offroad despite only being front wheel drive and on hard compound tyres. It is not better than average though.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
The Gascar 1015 does not shine when it comes to either comfort or driveability, but neither is it remarkably bad. It is about average.
This car is about as unkillable as a mountain goat. Reliability is top notch.
Like in so many other areas, the Gascar seems to represent the average car when it comes to safety rating.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
HAYAKU STELLA 1600XS - @Hilbert
The fuel thirst of the Hayaku Stella is very low, among the better of all the cars in this bunch.
Servicing an Hayaku Stella is slightly cheaper than average.
Despite having kind of a budget image, the Stella was not remarkably cheap to buy, in fact slightly more expensive than the average in this bunch.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The Stella is decently roomy, practical and utilitarian. Not excellent by any means but it fulfills the expectations you could have.
Despite fair amounts of ground clearance, the FWD Stella does not impress offroad.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
Comfort in the Stella is at an average level.
Despite the manual transmission it is an easy car to drive. Power steering and ABS probably contributes to this.
Even if Stellas does not seem to encounter catastrophical failures very often, they are a bit cheaply built and not the most trouble free cars on the market.
Safety rating is more or less on par with average in this group.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
MORAVIA JESTRAB - @Maverick74
Being a pioneer with fuel injection, the Jestrab has amazingly good fuel economy for the 70s.
The Jestrab has service costs that is pretty much equal to average.
Compared to some of its competitors, the Jestrab had a quite high purchase price.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
For its size, the Jestrab is relatively spacious, practical and has good utility rating.
It gives a kind of rugged image, but the front wheel drive and 13 inch hard compound tyres aren’t going to help you at all during bad road conditions.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
The comfort in the Jestrab is a notch higher than average, which is a positive surprise considering age and size of car.
Despite not even having power steering, the Jestrab is an impressively easy car to drive.
The Moravia Jestrab seems to be a car that is hard to kill, it has better reliability ratings than many other of the cars that has been considered.
Safety wise, the Moravia Jestrab is at an about average level.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
HAKARU CARICA - @Executive
Fuel economy of the Carica is slightly below average - not impressive for this type of car maybe.
The Carica is one of the cheaper cars to service.
Purchase price of the Carica was more or less at an average level.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The Carica is surprisingly roomy and practical, but being a small car is still something that shows in its ability to carry stuff.
As a little FWD econobox with relatively tiny hard compound tyres, the Carica is nothing to count on where the road ends.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
Nimble size and power steering makes the Carica relatively easy to drive, but manual transmission and lack of ABS might be the reason why it is not top notch.
A surprisingly well appointed interior means that the Carica has nothing to be ashamed of comfort wise for what it is, though it is still a small car with relatively primitive suspension, putting it somewhere in the middle.
Reliability wise, the Carica is placed just a notch below the very best cars.
Not all small cars are deathtraps. The Carica is better than average and probably among the best cars in its class.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
MARA IRENA - @AndiD
Despite automatic transmission and a relatively primitive engine, the Mara Irena gulps less fuel than average.
The Mara Irena is among the cheaper cars to service.
Purchase price comes second only to the Salon.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: GOOD
The Mara Irena is a real workhorse with space for all your needs and guts to move it around too, impressive for such a small car.
The ground clearance is surprisingly low considering the standards of Archanan roads, meaning that this RWD, open diff car with hard compound tyres is kind of weak on the worst of roads.
GAG SCORE: EXCELLENT
The Irena is not really an Ivera Executive, but still offers decent levels of comfort.
Driving dynamics of the little Irena is at a pretty good level, considering the primitive tech with leaf sprung rear axle and RWD.
Reliability wise, the Irena is one of the better cars from its era.
After the 1986 update, the safety is at an acceptable level.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
MATSUMA FUJI 1800DLX - @mart1n2005
Compared to the average car, the Matsuma Fuji 1800 DLX is slightly less thirsty on fuel, despite being all wheel drive.
Service costs of the Matsuma is at an average level.
Purchasing a Matsuma Fuji was a bit more expensive compared to some competitors back in the days.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
Some competitors beats the Matsuma Fuji both when it comes to roominess and load capacity, although still is decently practical.
For an AWD car the offroad capabilities is disappointing, at the same level as some of the 2WD competitors.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
A comfortable suspension tune and a nicely appointed interior means that comfort is decent in the Matsuma Fuji.
AWD, secure handling and a variable ratio steering are all things that makes the Matsuma Fuji nice to drive.
Fujis have a reputation to break down much less often than the average car.
Having safety equipment on a much higher level than the regulations required back then, the Matsuma Fuji is still a decently safe car.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
GSI BROODMASTER - @oppositelock
Fuel economy of the Broodmaster is about average, which is not too shabby with a V6 and automatic transmission.
Service costs of the Broodmaster is at an average level.
Purchase price of the Broodmaster was slightly lower than average.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The Broodmaster has decent room, but above all it has a high load capacity, its truck like leaf sprung solid axle actually is an advantage there.
Despite having an open diff and only RWD, the Broodmaster is actually decent when it comes to doing light offroading.
GAG SCORE: GOOD
Comfort wise, the GSI Broodmaster does not stand out in a neither bad or good way.
Despite power steering and automatic transmission, the Broodmaster is not the easiest car to drive, maybe due to its primitive chassis technology.
Considering the simple technology, the Broodmaster could have been a tad more reliable.
The Broodmaster is about as safe as average.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
KAMIKAZE NAGOY - @Sealboi
The Kamikaze Nagoy drinks remarkably less fuel than average.
Service costs of the Nagoy is at an average level.
Purchase price of the Nagoy was at the expensive end of the scale.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The hatchback is practical and roomy in itself, but both loadspace and capacity is compromised.
A limited ground clearance, only RWD and open diff means that there is better cars for bad road conditions than the Nagoy, finishing near the bottom of the list.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
The Kamikaze Nagoy is a comfortable car to travel in thanks to relatively soft suspension tune and 4 wheel independent suspension.
Kamikaze? Yeah, that’s the right name for this car considering its oversteering tendencies that gives a disappointingly low driveability.
Considering that, it might be good to know that your chance of surviving the crash is better than in many of the other cars.
Reliability is lower than for most cars in the bunch.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
TL:DR - Moving on to the finals are @conan , @Hilbert , @Maverick74 , @AndiD , @Executive , @mart1n2005 , @oppositelock and @Sealboi . Congratulations!
13 Likes
Well, that’s just about the result I expected - though before the bin round made it clear that I shot too far upmarket, I thought that I would surely have more competitors in comfort and offroad. And I was all worried about that aspect, too. Maybe one of the actual film crew will end up buying the Warlock because it’s just that nice, eh?
2 Likes
TBH, Caprice Estates had a somewhat-kind-of-popularity among certain-kind-of-media-profiles back then, so why not? Lol. Yeah, I know that this is closer to a Malibu, an actual Caprice competitor would have been binned so hard that the not-a-TH700 would have started to identify as a 70s Ford transmission, accidentaly fallen into reverse and reversed back all the way to Texas as soon as it had sensed my rage.
2 Likes
Anyway, aftermath, spoken from perspectives of two different individuals in two different time periods, neither of which is named Mrdja.
Oh, also for understandable reasons assume that language of bork is used, as Knug would refer to Swedish.
Aftermath
Guests
Some vehicle had entered parking lot.
It didnt belong to any which we may service and, considering its pristine condition, its users were unlikely to swap.
Something wasnt exactly right: they are actually looking at that old Saguaro we have on used cars lot.
This was interesting behaviour and so, my charming personality jumped into action, moving from excuse of chair we had at that point.
“I see you are interested in one of our offers…planning for winter beater?”
“Can be said, but no. We actually have in plans to do something else…Project is rather exciting but we kinda need some well-used machine to fulfill it”
“You had, then, arrived to right place. That Saguaro is pretty solid option i would say.”
“We think so too, looks like scaled-down muscle wagon. Also this amount of wear and tear is acceptable by us: we are looking at used cars after all”
“Ah nice to hear that. Can i be of any help?”
“We might want to look at service history of the car, also some more data about car itself would be very welcome. And by that i mean very basic specs”
I knew exactly what kind of papers will be needed here, so i went to search for them.
Sure enough, i found them at my table…suspiciously surrounded by crayons.
Thought nothing of it, and returned to potential customers with it in tow.
“Gentleman, i present to you documents. We gathered basic info and service history in this folder.”
Folder exchanged hand and got opened, with fair bit of chuckle.
“Are you always this creative with this stuff?”
In horror, i realised what crayons were doing there…he will get a sound beating out of this, i sensed it.
And yes, they also realised how much of failed parent i am, according to their looks of acceptance.
“Shall we move on? Its fairly scribbled around, but readable.”
“Uh…ok i guess…i shouldnt have left my son alone at my desk…sorry for that…”
“Sure…its regularly serviced atleast, although not necessarilly with adequate parts (looking at mismatched headlight)
Fuel economy, service cost numbers and asked price are tad bit too high to our taste”
“Really? Im sure we can work something out…”
“Probably would, but we are yet to check another 5 cars…besides, we are but a lowly interns of our group.
Higher-ups decide and they are ones that will decide on test drives
Fking cheapskates and their < Well you are already going through that area so might as well gather some info >…anyway enough of my rambling”
He returned me opened folder of embarassment and took small notebook and pencil and meticulously written down contents of said folder.
My shivering hands yearned for heat and, to be honest, prob of anger.
I was allowed to close offending folder and they packed their stuff.
That was it, or so i thought…
I dont recall boss being this RED in the face.
I dont recall words that were said.
What i do recall…he decided to check on the folder, after customers decided our offer isnt gonna cut it.
Someone is GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!!!
HONEY IM HOME
My entrance call had echoed through the house after being on work-related trip for a week, attracting attention of my, by now, wife of 6 years.
It also atttracted attention of our daughter being 5 and…HIM.
Flood had started at appearance of his 2y old persona
“YOU!! I TOLD YOU MANY MANY TIMES TO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING
AND WHAT DID YOU DO
EXACTLY THAT
IF IM NOT GETTING FIRED OVER YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY, YOUNG MAN”
His sister was crying, HE was crying, my wife too.
I slammed my work room shut, THUD echoing through house but even more in my ears…
After several hours, doorhandle started to wiggle around. Half a minute later, Pampers-clad individual had managed to enter room.
I looked at him
He looked at me
“Dad, im sorry.”
"Your sorry solves absolutely nothing in this situation.
Our potential customer likely assumed im total idiot
My boss likely thinks im idiot
Everyone that saw our ad likely thinks < What kind of idiot slept on keyboard> "
“I just wanted to help…”
“I dont need your help. Now get lost.”
Indeed did so and i havent seen him for better part of week.
Present
Leather of my office chair creaked as i adjusted my position.
Its hard to believe how much this place changed over the course of 25 years.
Despite being only 27, i was able to follow the progress due to fact my father worked…well, exactly here where im currently seated.
I was currently checking on the lineup of cars we have in inventory.
My heart sank when we got to item titled SaguaroFailedStar.
I remember vaguely how interesting it was to wait on that sitcom Familjen Medelsvensson if im not mistaken.
Weirdly enough, even tho even then i was obsessed with cars, i cant really recall car used there by dad of that family.
I always connected that sitcom with very old Saguaro wagon we have in parking lot…for very good reason.
That reason was solidified as i took a glance at 2.5 decade old document, with fair few strikes of crayon inflicted by 2y old myself.
I remember…enough.
“Hey, i need your help, young man” man in his 50s peeked into my office.
“Ironic. Remember that conversation we had about this?” throwing folder on table.
Dad had seriously tried to piece together what exactly i asked of him, visibly failing.
“I scribbled on some documents and you ended up being very angry.”
“That…really doesnt narrow as much as you think it does. You were always trying to help, mainly putting ME in problematic situations”
“Leaving 2y old unsupervised didnt really help”
ENOUGH. IF YOU TWO DECIDE TO START SOME FAMILY DISCUSSION ON JOB I SWEAR…argh im too old for this.
“This discussion includes you as well.”
Old man had glanced at folder. His physicality was inevitably ruined by fact he is now in his 80s, but memory was as sharp as ever.
“I cant tell who fked me up the most: you, you or that car. Its very close call.”
“Im still in impression that such title is to be held by your wife.”
“Yes, but im not working with her.”
“You arent working full stop. Only thing you do is scream sometimes at first person that makes you cranky”
“Or complain about how 70s were nicer times and 2022 is shit. During 70s you couldnt buy armchair with massage function.”
“You smug kid…anyway im gonna need to visit my office, its time for my medicine to be taken.”
Dad and i were now again looking at each other, only to burst out laughing.
(Pitbull’s “Hotel room service” had anounced itself.)
My work phone is ringing.
I answered.
Voice had spoken
“Hello we are interested in seeing what kind of cars you have. We are at your dealership in about 2 hours.”
“Ok, will be sure to meet you up…i just need to…organize something on my side”
“Fair enough.”
I settled down in my chair back again and decided to get back to work, which wasnt much of work anyway.
Traversing Youtube:
"Oh my god, thats brutal! Aaand Urbana is out of race…these hosts really werent very skilled in picking out good cars…last few years anyway.
I wonder what will be entered this year?
3 Likes
Sick write up G, that was nice.
Engineeringwise my last few cars I’ve submitted in challenges have been “suspension focused” since I always got dinged for fucked up suspensions in the past, among other things. Now its time to study fuel economy. I dont know how fools out here gettin 40+mpg cars. If I make one right now it’ll be purely by accident. But Imma figure it out tho. Also, I make low to mediocre cars in terms of the numbers. You, @Aruna and @abg7 actually spelled everything out, yall have helped out tremendously.
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Well, if it makes ya feel better, the current update redoes how everything about engines work, so everyone will have to relearn how to build a fuel efficient car again. 
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This is a hard fact. It is better (more realistic I suppose), but different, and it is going to make doing just normal stuff pretty hard for a while. I lost like 60HP on the last engine I was working on and I can’t get it back.
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Hey, the Axuus wasn’t bad, the mediocre fuel economy was not too off for being the car it was. The main problem was that you aimed a bit more upmarket than some entries I guess but that’s a gamble too, the Salon failed by doing the opposite and the golden midway is not always easy to find.
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So it seems like I built a very average car. Perfect for the average family!
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Yeah, got the result I expected in the end. For a cheapskate, the car’s just too expensive to run. Granted, this is the second time I’ve thrown a car built for one challenge that I forgot to enter into another challenge with virtually no changes. (Body style from Sedan to Wagon, insert lower-power V6.)
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The joys of owning a car that was one of the cheapest ones available when new in the 1970s- well, the 1960s if we count the prefacelift
(so basically a communist car without the awful build quality and reliability)
2 Likes
I am legitimately suprised i made it this far. May the best car win eh?
2 Likes
AND THE WINNER IS…
DRUMROLL
(Read this in OOC)
Well, this was, like @AndiD himself use to say, a Mara moment. To start with, I should say that it was not the car that was the sharpest design-wise, and by that I don’t mean “beautiful” vs. “ugly”. The Mara has the right looks, and a nice weathering, but it lacks that little extra sharpness and depth in the details that the very best cars like the Moravia or the Salon has.
Still, the looks were good enough and the Mara would have the most believable image as a family hauler on a restricted budget. Mostly because it more or less lacks any drawbacks where it counts (which it was pretty much alone at TBH), while it is excellent at some very important points.
Congratulations, AndiD.
A LITTLE BONUS
(I was first going to do a full on episode guide, but nah, too much work for too little result, so I decided to just highlight some of their episodes, and their, well… Mara moments)
EP 1.01
Pilot episode. Stig reads in a magazine about the prices on antiques and sees that a certain vase is worth tremendous amounts of money. Later that week, when visiting mother in law, he sees that certain vase. During the visit, her TV breaks down, and Stig offers her their new 33 inch widescreen in trade for the vase, she thinks that he has gone nuts and accepts it. When he comes home and tries to sell it to an antique dealer, it turns out that it is a copy made in Hong Kong in the 70s, absolutely worthless. He manages to trade it in at a second hand store for a 12 inch black and white TV though, which the family now has to watch.
Mara moments: Well, used for the trip, kids fighting in the back seat and…yeah, you know it I guess, the regular stuff.
INGER: “You said that the vase was so ugly that you would not take one for free when you saw it in the magazine, why do you want it now?”
STIG: “Hey, it will soon be gone anyway. Rich people have money but no taste. I have taste but no money. Soon I will have both and they will have nothing but an ugly vase!”
EP 1.02
Anna wants a dog. To show her how much of a responsibility it is to have a dog, Stig decides to accept an offer from his workmate to watch his rottweiler/amstaff/malinois mix for some days. Unfortunately, what Stig forgets is that Anna is going on a class trip that week so Stig has to watch the dog all by himself, leading to some less than pleasant situations.
Mara moments: Tearing out all the foam from the back seat is all fun and games. Woof!
STIG: (Browsing through the telephone catalog). “Inger, do you know in which country they eat dogs? I need to know which restaurant to call if this filthy mutt is going to poop on the carpet one more time!”
EP 1.03
Inger has gone away for some days so Stig decides to clean out the garage. He gets an OK from the boss to borrow the work van and takes all the crap from the garage to the dump. Someone finds it on the dump, steals it and sells it on his garage sale where Inger buys everything back on her way home.
Mara moments: Being filled up with junk at the garage sale.
INGER: “But all of that stuff was very far inside the garage, how was I even supposed to know that we had it?”
STIG: “I don’t know, maybe it was a sign that we…NEVER NEEDED IT TO START WITH?”
EP 1.06
Stig’s neighbour (that he hates) have bought new snow tyres for his Otari (that he hates). Stig thinks that he is just bragging and means that the one he has from when the Mara was new is as good, and that the 4 wheel drive of the Otari can’t compensate for his driving skills, because he did his military service as a truck driver. Needless to say it ends up in a snowy ditch, but the family manages to hitch a ride home with two youngsters in a Valiant Laser where the whole family has to cram themselves in the backseat while listening to eurodisco blasting at full volume.
Mara moments: More or less the whole episode.
STIG: “Don’t question my driving skills, I did my military service as a truck driver!”
SAMUEL: “Great. Now I know that if there is a war, the enemies won’t have a chance, if the bullets does not get them, dad will manage to run them all over with a truck!”
EP 1.07
Samuel wants a Nintendo 64 for christmas, but Inger have heard that videogames is getting too violent, she has also read that music is a good way to spawn creativity among children so he gets a drum set for christmas instead, which drives Stig crazy when he has to listen to it. Finally he sells the drum set while Samuel is away and buys him a Nintendo 64 instead, of course making him upset since he has changed his mind and thinks that the drum set is much more fun.
Mara moments: Not too many, but when loading a drum set into a car, more stuff can happen than you actually think.
SAMUEL: “But dad! I had changed my mind, I would much rather have a drum set than a Nintendo 64 now!”
STIG: “Oh, yes! And I would much rather be deaf than listen to your goddamned drum set one more time, and now I am the adult so now I choose to be deaf! …eh, wait, what did I just say?”
EP 2.01
Linda has a crush on the toughest guy in class, and she has discovered that he is going to a festival that she is also planning to attend. To play cool in front of him, she decides to drive around on her scooter without a helmet, which is discovered by the parents so she gets grounded for a week and can’t go to the festival, which she does not give a crap about, sneaking out through the back door. What she didn’t realize is that Stig has agreed to work on that festival as a security guard because, well, he can’t say no to some extra money, which makes everything VERY troublesome.
Mara moments: Jamming on the brakes for a certain bare-headed motorist
STIG: “If you crash and hit your head you will have the same brain capacity as a garden gnome afterwards! Now, if I needed a garden gnome, I would have bought one, because that would have been much cheaper than getting that goddamned expensive scooter for you!”
EP 2.02
Stig has bought lots of bottles of some discount archanan car shampoo that he is trying to sell to the whole neighbourhood to earn some money. He first of all tries if it works by washing the Mara, which gets clean, and it does not do any harm at all to the (already very matte) paint on the Mara, but it does on every other car that actually has a paintjob worth caring about. Even worse, is that it is discovered that this car shampoo has been banned to sell even in Archana after 1987 since it is too harmful to the environment, so the government confiscates every bottle he has.
Mara moments: Getting clean for the first time in some years.
INGER: “The flowers in the garden died after you washed the car!”
STIG: “That’s probably just a hole in the ozone layer, stop using so much hair spray!”
ANNA: “Dad, everything on the bottle is in Archanan, how am I supposed to understand this?”
STIG: “Well, everything you speak is in teenager language so how am I supposed to understand you?”
NEIGHBOUR: “My red car turned pink!”
STIG: “Do you know how much money people are paying to get their cars repainted in colour-changing paint?”
EP 2.07
Samuel is selling lottery tickets for his ice hockey team, but when he has sold them to the whole neighbourhood there is still lots of them left, so Stig finally gives in to buy all of them. Later, the family goes christmas shopping, but when Stig realizes how high the parking fees are outside the mall, he parks the Mara in the worst part of the city, where parking is free, and makes the family walk from there. Of course the Mara gets stolen, ending up being driven through a window in a smash and grab attempt at the same mall where the family is shopping. When the police finally finds the car, it is beyond repair, but at the end of the episode, Stig wins both the 10th prize (a bag of gummy bears) and the 1st price (a brand new Saarland Ambrosia wagon) on the lottery tickets. After that, a reoccuring gag is how he cares for his Saarland more than for anything else in the whole world. It may or may not have some connections to the show being sponsored by Saarland from season 3 and onwards.
Mara moments: Pretty much explained above.
SAMUEL: “But dad, imagine if I will play in NHL someday?”
STIG: “Yeah, then I expect you to pay me back for EVERY SINGLE LOTTERY TICKET, THANKS!”
INGER: “Oh come on, that parking fee is not too bad.”
STIG: “I would have agreed on that if they had built a heated garage around the car while we were shopping!”
INGER: “What? Parking here? Are you nuts?”
STIG: “It’s just an old Mara, what is the worst thing that could possibly happen?”
LINDA: “That would be if nobody would steal it so it is still here when we come back.”
SAMUEL: “Dad, you didn’t only win 10th prize, you won 1st prize too!”
STIG: “Oh yeah, so what’s that? Ten bags of gummy bears? What am I supposed to do with ten bags of gummy bears!”
SAMUEL: "No, it says “a brand new Saarland Ambrosia!”
STIG: “Oh, that’s SO much better! What in the whole world am I supposed to do with a brand new Saa…a…eh, wait, what?”
HONORABLE MENTION
@Ch_Flash for building the wrong car for the family, that somehow was the right car for the annoying neighbour.
12 Likes
Yay, I won something! Great challenge - who could have thought that mundane could be made so genuinely interesting and deep…?
I’ll have a think over the weekend for TMCC22 - I have an idea or two, but want to flesh those out a bit before committing, esp. with the current upheaval around techpool and stuff.
3 Likes
Congratulations on your win, just shows it’s worth persevering with challenges and that you have improved with your designs and engineering
2 Likes
I was worst of the best. Best of the worst? Anyway at least i made it to the finals. Nice one Andi.
1 Like
- Reads this
- No sight of Salon Bonus being mentioned
- Major disappointment
Jk though, great review, and fun plot ideas for the episodes
3 Likes
Thanks for the honorable mention, and who knows I maybe am your annoying neighbour… 