Great. I just lost several hours to TV Tropes again.
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Fact is that TV tropes might come in handy for a little surprise I am planning…
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What?
The alledged car?
My car hates me?
Clown car?
Multi-track drifiting?
TV Tropes certainly is handy.
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ayyy didnt get instabinned very nice
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ROUND 1: AESTHETICS AND APPEARANCE
The production company was looking through all the proposals they had gotten after the announcement that they needed a vehicle for the show. And to slim everything down, they started with the most important thing for a vehicle that should appear on the TV screen. Its aesthetics. Because what does it matter if the car is good if it doesn’t evoke the right feelings when you look at it? You’re supposed to watch a TV show after all. Not drive the cars of the show. With that in mind, they were browsing through the most interesting cars of the bunch…
1984 Przenoduża - @Vento
“Oh, Jesus. Look at that weird front end.”
“Yeah. This is not what we are looking for.”
“I guess a regular family would want to drive something looking more…regular?”
“Yeah, you certainly do have a point there.”
The 1984 Przenoduża will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1984 Warren Warlock Wagon - @Texaslav
“Oh yeah, someone thinks we had planned to rip off the Family truckster, it seems like.”
“Yeah, I don’t know about this one actually…it’s nice and that’s part of the problem.”
“Well, a bit big and almost too fancy… I am not too sure about this.”
“Still, we can give it a try I guess.”
“OK, but the stats better have to be killer then…”
The 1984 Warren Warlock Wagon WILL (after lots of doubt) be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1987 Eris Vaqueiro - @SheikhMansour
“In a world full of compact station wagons, what does this have to offer?”
“4 wheel drive”
“Yeah, that’s good in the snow I guess, but on TV I would gladly have sacrificed that for a bit more personality.”
“Agree, it is kind of soulless in its looks.”
The 1987 Eris Vaqueiro will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1978 Auclair Riviere - @FidleDo
“I don’t really care for to be honest…it just feels weird.”
“Yeah, overly simple, but still a bit blocky and clumsy…nah, something is off.”
“I am sure we can find something better actually.”
“Yeah, no need to put too much thoughts into this one I guess.”
The 1978 Auclair Riviere will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1982 Kamikaze Nagoya - @Sealboi
“Now this is more like it.”
“Yeah, typical cheapskate beater japanese hatch.”
“Green hood, missing side trim, some rust…also I like the aftermarket spotlamps”
“I can see the family rolling around in this, yes.”
The 1982 Kamikaze Nagoya WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1977 Saguaro T-REE 2000 Wagon - @MrdjaNikolen
“Oh my god…I love when compact cars are trying to ape muscle car styling…it can go so horribly wrong.”
“Yeah, and on a wagon to top that off…”
“Look at the round headlight, probably found on some povo spec model in the junkyard”
“This gets a big yes from me.”
The 1977 Saguaro T-REE WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1978 GSI Broodmaster - @oppositelock
“It looks well taken care of, spare for the front license plate that seems to have fallen off. Almost too well taken care of…”
“Yeah but the looks are spot on, for some reason it looks horribly outdated now. Feels like a car that went from futuristic to outdated in just a few years of time. Which is a good thing in this case.”
“Yeah…this is a strong contender indeed.”
The 1978 GSI Broodmaster WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1986 Mara Irena 2.0 LKET - @AndiD
“We can’t have a show about a cheapskate character without at least considering a Mara, right?”
“Yeah. The Irena is a tried and true model…always works, and this one seems to be in the perfect sweet spot when it comes to being battered.”
“Maybe not the best looking car in the world, but that’s not really the point here…”
The 1986 Mara Irena WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1977 Bazard Lyon - @Edsel
“Oh, no… P-plates! Who imported this?”
“It must have arrived with some eastern block immigrants, if not, I don’t know.”
“You know that person that you know that you saw in the background in one of your dreams, but you can’t describe his looks? The one that lacks facial features?”
“Uhm…yes?”
“This is more or less a car equivalent of him.”
“Yes…a bit too simplistic, too forgettable”
The 1977 Bazard Lyon will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1987 Otari 545 GLI 4x4 - @Ch_Flash
“I don’t know…Yes, I know they were a budget brand, but still…it has kind of an upper class aura to it that I am not sure that we want.”
“Yeah, vanity plate and all. 4 wheel drive, I heard that they did surprisingly well in Paris-Dakar back in the days.”
“Yeah and Stig is not going to drive Paris-Dakar”
“You do have a point there…I doubt we want it in that role, but I know another, better use of this one.”
The 1987 Otari 545 GLI 4x4 will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series (but don’t give up the hope, there is a surprise for you later).
1974 Salon Bonus Deluxe 16 - @Mad_Cat
“Oh…my…god…YES! Just look at this, it’s the ultimate cheapskate mobile!”
“Yeah. It is so ugly that you feel sorry for it. And not in a clownish way. It’s just…tragic.”
“And it has the right amount of wear and tear too. I can imagine cheapskate dad loving this.”
“Yes. If it was just about looks we would be done by now, but we still have to see how realistic this is as a family car in 1997.”
The 1974 Salon Bonus Deluxe 16 WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1987 Bricksley Warden GS - @Madrias
“More P-plates, another grey market import.”
“Oh my god, how can you even manage to wear down a vehicle like this in 10 years?”
“I guess the odometer has a story to tell, that is, in case it’s still working.”
“Yeah. Normally this would be too modern, too big, too fancy but…since it looks like if it has escaped from the junkyard, we can’t let this go.”
The 1987 Bricksley Warden GS WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1986 Hakaru Carica 1.5 SE - @Executive
“Generally I like this, but…”
“Yes. A Japanese mode of transportation about as exciting as toilet paper. It even has the same colour.”
“My main gripe is that it is kind of too small.”
“Yes, but I think we still can consider it. That is, if it is good enough to beat the competition.”
The 1986 Hakaru Carica 1.5 SE WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1984 Weahgen - @captin_stiffie
“Weahgen and nothing more? Oh well…I guess that Weahgen only makes one model then.”
“Yeah, and no matter what, even if I loved this at a first glance, I like it less and less the more I look at it.”
“What’s going on with that roof rack, it really looks weird, and the tailpipe poking out from the side of the bumper does not improve it either.”
“And why does it have some shrunken replicas of California plates? Stolen from his kids pedal car or what?”
The 1984 Weahgen will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
(OOC Info: I know that you are pretty new to challenges, so I will try to help you here, since you did two things that some hosts would consider deadly sins.
1. Resized license plates. Don’t do it, just don’t. In this case it didn’t even improve the looks in the same way that it has in many cases when people have been tempted to do it.
2. Minmaxing. You might have heard the word, and it comes in different forms. In this case, you have used old fashioned technology, which saves money and ET, then bumped up the quality a lot, which boosts stats. This is generally not appreciated in challenges, even if it in this case weren’t that unrealistic. Though the car’s engineering reminds me more of a glorified 55 Chevy than of anything from the 80s.
I hope that you can take this as an attempt to help rather than being salty, usually we all fail our early challenges, and as time passes, we’ll learn.)
1981 Matsuma Fuji 1800 DLX - @mart1n2005
“Oh. A japanese wagon like they all looked in the early 80s.”
“Yup. A time so close but yet so far away. No attempts to build something modern or flashy, unlike some years later.”
“Well, it seems to be really well kept, some wear and tear wouldn’t have hurt but…”
“Oh, wait, I was wrong…it is AWD, and has a flat 4…a little bit unusual maybe, but sounds familiar somehow.”
“Not that it is anything wrong with that, though.”
The 1981 Matsuma Fuji 1800 DLX WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1978 Moravia Jestrab 1600 Automatic - @Maverick74
“Oh boy, look at all the brown!”
“If the Salon won’t make the cut, I almost hope for this one.”
“Yeah. Perfect styling, probably hip 20 years ago but only dorky today. The right amount of wear. And it’s so… so…”
“…so brown!”
“Yeah. This is lovely!”
The 1978 Moravia Jestrab WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1986 Ishikari Morus SE AWD - @Caligari
“Another car on the small side, but a little bit larger than the Hakaru.”
“Yeah and there is nothing wrong with it as a car but…a little bit too much of a wannabe offroader maybe?”
“With the rear mounted spare and all terrain tyres, I tend to agree.”
“Maybe straying a little bit too far from what we’re looking for, yes.”
The 1986 Ishikari Morus will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1986 FMC Gannett 3300i - @Lanson
“I can accept this, there is honestly nothing wrong with it.”
“Yeah, it is a good looking car, I could imagine having one myself.”
“Which, maybe, is not really the point here.”
“Of course not, and maybe it is a bit on the fancy side, but I still can imagine this one as a suitable ride for them.”
“Yeah, it’s all up to how it will perform otherwise.”
The 1986 FMC Gannett 3300i WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1987 Axuus Sabre Wagon LE2 - @DuceTheTruth100
“On the sporty side of things, maybe?”
“Yeah. Another car I could see myself driving around in, but is this really what we’re looking for?”
“Maybe, maybe not. I think that we could always give it a chance.”
“It is not out of the question anyway.”
The 1987 Axuus Sabre Wagon LE2 WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1984 Valkyrie FT - @Drewster564
“I don’t know why, but this is not speaking to me at all.”
“Hmmm…no. It is like if the styling is a bit lacking in depth and personality.”
“Yeah…too forgettable in some way. We’re not looking for a beauty but it needs to have a little more soul than this. Also, why some fake plates on this, too?”
“And with so many other appealing cars, we don’t need to consider this I think.”
The 1984 Valkyrie FT will NOT be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1986 Hayaku Stella 1600XS - @Hilbert
“I don’t know…give this a slight facelift and it could as well be something still sold today.”
“Yeah, it’s a forward looking design for its era, still it is kind of obvious that it is nothing fancy, so it kind of fits still.”
“True, and the powder blue paint does absolutely nothing to boost the prestige value.”
“Nah. It’s a believable cheapskate ride after all.”
The 1986 Hayaku Stella WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
1980 Gascar 1015 1.6 - @conan
“I love the name Gascar. Do they have a sister brand called Dieselcar?”
“This piece of finnish pride has some real shitbox looks indeed.”
“Yeah. Nobody that cared about his own image would drive one today.”
“Which is why it is very suitable for this, also, it looks like if it has been through some tough times.”
“Yeah. Another strong contender.”
The 1980 Gascar 1015 1.6 WILL be considered as the vehicle for the TV series.
CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE THAT PASSES ON TO PART 2!
Now, some words from the host.
Don’t believe for a second that it is ever fun to reject a car that you know is someone’s pride and that there is hours of work put into. But in the end, out of 23 submissions, only one can win, and I have to start narrowing it down somewhere.
Also, if you find the chosen vehicles weird, keep in mind that there was multiple factors that contributed here. Some cars had really solid styling. Others did fit the brief perfectly. Last but not least, some of them had really good weathering.
Only two cars IMO did tick all three boxes completely - The Salon and the Moravia. That might be of importance in case they do pass on to the finals.
Also, yes, except for in a few cases, I did an adjustment on your license plates, just to improve realism, because to be honest, it looks better if all cars have “believable” ones. And there is no such plate in the game, so…
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Yay! Thank you for the informative review! 
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I was not expecting to see the Warden moving forward from this point, but I am glad it happened!
And, yeah, that Warden has probably been driven into the ground (and bounced off of a fair few items, too) in order to deteriorate that much in just a few short years.
Yup, that’s what I get for copying small-car styling onto a big car without changing anything. Good show, excited to see where it goes from here!
Also, I know it didn’t affect anything, but I’m curious; why’d he have such a strong reaction to plates that, as far as I can tell, look the same as most everyone else’s?
It’s not so much about the plates in itself. It is only that before circa 1993, plates starting with the letter “P” were only assigned to grey market imports, and this is indeed a weird choice to import. However, I like the idea of resizing that NZ (?) plate to look more Swedish.
And to clarify, i LIKE the fact that it happened to be a P-plate, it only added spice.
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Ah, I see. At first I thought that was supposed to be a stammer. :D
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The Sabre trudges along…
I’ve never gotten this far in a TMCC before so this is a big W for me, even if I get knocked next round im happy.
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REVIEWS PART 2!
The decision was now made which cars that would look good enough on the TV screen, but also important was how well the image of the car did fit the upcoming protagonists.
(First a little OOC info how this works.
Since I noticed that some of the important stats are actually linked to each other, I deciced to put them in three different groups, which are cheapskate score (price, fuel economy, SVC) that explains itself, gag score (offroad, practicality, utility) that shows how well the vehicle copes with doing the reoccuring gags, and finally sensibility score (safety, reliability, driveability, comfort) that shows how well the vehicle works as a sensible mode of transportation for a family in 1997.
To go further to the finals, the vehicle has to score at least “fair” in the 5 point system (poor, weak, fair, good, excellent) in all three categories. So, “fair, fair, fair” actually is a ticket to the finals, while “weak, excellent, excellent” is not. How come?
Well, an UAZ Buhanka would probably score extremely well in the gag and cheapskate categories, but poor in the sensibility category. Do you think that an UAZ Buhanka is the right vehicle in this case? Neither do I.
Also, the rating is compared to other cars in this challenge. If I say “the reliability of car X is low” it means among the other cars in this challenge, not necessarily that your car is extremely bad overall.
So, maybe a bit of “spreadsheet elimination” and boring reviews this time, but remember, in the finals, subjective stuff like aesthetics will once again matter, as well as individual scores. Also, even if reviews are boring, I have some interesting surprises going for the finals.)
THE ONES THAT DID NOT MAKE THE CUT…
AXUUS SABRE - @DuceTheTruth100
The Axuus Sabre was the most expensive car to buy when new. Fact is that (adjusted for inflation) you could buy a Salon AND a Mara for the same amount of money.
Fuel economy is on the low side, still no disaster, but a large-ish engine and automatic transmisson probably contributes there.
Service costs are pretty much mid pack, neither high or low.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: POOR
The Sabre is a reasonably practical and utilitarian family wagon, albeit not impressive in any way, some competitors beats it both regarding space and load capacity.
As an RWD car with open diff and economy tyres, it will get stuck when some of the cars are still rolling on through the worst of roads.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
A rather nicely appointed interior and sophisticated rear suspension makes the Sabre a decently comfortable car.
It is the most pleasant car to drive of them all. Power steering, ABS, automatic transmission and predictable handling probably helps a lot here.
Sophisticated technology takes its toll and the Sabre is by no means a trouble-free car.
Advanced safety technology makes the Sabre one of the safest cars of the bunch.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
FMC GANNETT 3300i - @Lanson
For a car with a rather large engine and auto transmission, the fuel economy of the Gannett is acceptable, still it’s only average in this bunch of cars.
Service costs are on the higher side, even though there is worse cars.
The FMC Gannett was only marginally cheaper than the most expensive car, the Axuus.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: WEAK
Practicality and utility is slightly below average among the cars, due to, for example, a mediocre load capacity. However, it is still fair numbers.
The FMC will struggle in some of the offroading scenes with its RWD, hard tyre compound, open diff and low ground clearance. Fact is that it is the worst of all the cars.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
4 wheel independent suspension with a relatively well chosen tuning means that the FMC is the second most comfortable car of them all.
4 speed auto, a relatively flat torque curve, good handling, ABS, variable power steering all contributes to the FMC being almost as nice to drive as the Axuus.
Advanced technology takes its toll and the FMC has reliability slightly below average.
Being among the larger and more modern cars of the bunch, the safety rating of the FMC is rather high.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: EXCELLENT
BRICKSLEY WARDEN - @Madrias
3.9 litres of V6 in a large car with automatic transmission of course wants a sip every now and then. The fuel economy of the Bricksley leaves much to be desired.
Service costs of the Bricksley Warden are far from low.
This is a larger and more advanced car than most of the bunch - but that is also reflected in one of the worst purchase prices.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: WEAK
Due to the size, the Bricksley of course has decent room inside, but not impressive.
Despite the comfort oriented rear suspension type, the Bricksley has a high load capacity, one of the things bringing up the utility rating.
A LSD and more ground clearance than some of the competitors gives the Bricksley good offroadability for a RWD car.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
A large car with independent rear suspension, good sound insulation etc. gives the Bricksley a high rating for comfort - despite the rough running 90 degree V6.
Predictable handling, automatic transmission and all the driver assist systems available in 1987 means that it is an easy car to drive despite its size.
Reliability wise, the Bricksley is slightly below average in the group, but that is really just slightly.
The Bricksley is by far means the safest car of the bunch, probably due to sheer size and modern safety engineering.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: EXCELLENT
SALON BONUS DELUXE - @Mad_Cat
The Salon was the cheapest car to buy of them all in the group. Less then half the price of an Axuus.
No other of the cars even comes close to the low service costs of the Salon.
Some of the more modern cars gives better mileage, but that does not mean that the Salon is bad, it is remarkably better than average.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: EXCELLENT
The Salon is one of the smallest cars, and it shows, even if it is surprisingly roomy inside for its size and has a decent load capacity.
Finnish forest roads aren’t known to be autostradas, and that is evident in the engineering of the Salon. It can handle bad roads reasonably well.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
Comfort in the Salon is comparable to a torture chamber. No other car in the group is even close to being this bad.
Manual steering, manual transmission, hefty amounts of understeer, RWD with a primitive leaf sprung axle - driving experience really sends you back to 1974, more than any other of the cars.
Reliability is at a pretty average level - which maybe is not impressive considering the simple tech the car is built on.
Safety is the worst of the bunch due to small size and ancient engineering. At least this “luxury” version has decent headrests.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: POOR
SAGUARO T-REE 2000 WAGON - @MrdjaNikolen
For being such a small car, the Saguaro is really disappointing from an economical standpoint. Both fuel consumption, service costs and purchase price is higher than average.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: WEAK
When it comes to the ability to carry stuff, the Saguaro represents the average car more or less. Neither bad or good.
Offroad capability with an open differential, only front wheel drive and a less than ideal tyre compound is pretty mediocre.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
4 wheel independent suspension with an almost “french” suspension tuning means that the Saguaro has more than acceptable comfort for its class.
Power steering, front wheel drive, automatic transmission and a small footprint makes the Saguaro an extremely easy car to drive.
Reliability stats of the Saguaro are disappointing, in fact the worst of all the cars in the bunch.
The Saguaro has more safety equipment than usual for its class and era, making it a surprisingly safe car.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
WARREN WARLOCK - @Texaslav
The so called “Big block V6” gulps fuel like an old drunkard gulps discount beer.
Service costs are on the higher side.
Purchase price is the third highest after the Axuus and FMC.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: POOR
A car as big as a house can of course carry a whole house too more or less - when it comes to carrying loads and/or passengers the Warren is superb.
Despite being only RWD, the Warren manages to beat all the other cars, including the AWD ones, for offroading capability. The answer is probably in the Eaton G80 differential that this example is optioned with.
GAG SCORE: EXCELLENT
The Warren is the top contender when it comes to comfort. It is not unthreatened as king of the hill - the FMC comes close for example - but in the end the Warren is unbeaten.
For its size the Warren feels surprisingly nimble to drive. It can more than well compete with some of the smaller cars.
If only given a little service every now and then, a Warren Warlock can probably serve you for a large amount of years. Reliability is better than average.
Safety is on par with the average car - not notoriously bad but still not impressive considering its size and safety equipment.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
…AND THE ONES THAT GOES TO THE FINALS!
GASCAR 1015 1.6 - @conan
The Gascar is not a Gasguzzler but neither is it a Gassipper. It is pretty much mid pack when it comes to fuel economy.
Gascar has managed to keep service costs at a very sane level.
Considering the amount of car you get, the Gascar 1015 is surprisingly cheap.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: GOOD
Low load capacity somewhat overshadows the large amount of room this practical liftback has to offer.
Maybe because of the decent ground clearance, it manages to somewhat work offroad despite only being front wheel drive and on hard compound tyres. It is not better than average though.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
The Gascar 1015 does not shine when it comes to either comfort or driveability, but neither is it remarkably bad. It is about average.
This car is about as unkillable as a mountain goat. Reliability is top notch.
Like in so many other areas, the Gascar seems to represent the average car when it comes to safety rating.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
HAYAKU STELLA 1600XS - @Hilbert
The fuel thirst of the Hayaku Stella is very low, among the better of all the cars in this bunch.
Servicing an Hayaku Stella is slightly cheaper than average.
Despite having kind of a budget image, the Stella was not remarkably cheap to buy, in fact slightly more expensive than the average in this bunch.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The Stella is decently roomy, practical and utilitarian. Not excellent by any means but it fulfills the expectations you could have.
Despite fair amounts of ground clearance, the FWD Stella does not impress offroad.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
Comfort in the Stella is at an average level.
Despite the manual transmission it is an easy car to drive. Power steering and ABS probably contributes to this.
Even if Stellas does not seem to encounter catastrophical failures very often, they are a bit cheaply built and not the most trouble free cars on the market.
Safety rating is more or less on par with average in this group.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
MORAVIA JESTRAB - @Maverick74
Being a pioneer with fuel injection, the Jestrab has amazingly good fuel economy for the 70s.
The Jestrab has service costs that is pretty much equal to average.
Compared to some of its competitors, the Jestrab had a quite high purchase price.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
For its size, the Jestrab is relatively spacious, practical and has good utility rating.
It gives a kind of rugged image, but the front wheel drive and 13 inch hard compound tyres aren’t going to help you at all during bad road conditions.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
The comfort in the Jestrab is a notch higher than average, which is a positive surprise considering age and size of car.
Despite not even having power steering, the Jestrab is an impressively easy car to drive.
The Moravia Jestrab seems to be a car that is hard to kill, it has better reliability ratings than many other of the cars that has been considered.
Safety wise, the Moravia Jestrab is at an about average level.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
HAKARU CARICA - @Executive
Fuel economy of the Carica is slightly below average - not impressive for this type of car maybe.
The Carica is one of the cheaper cars to service.
Purchase price of the Carica was more or less at an average level.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The Carica is surprisingly roomy and practical, but being a small car is still something that shows in its ability to carry stuff.
As a little FWD econobox with relatively tiny hard compound tyres, the Carica is nothing to count on where the road ends.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
Nimble size and power steering makes the Carica relatively easy to drive, but manual transmission and lack of ABS might be the reason why it is not top notch.
A surprisingly well appointed interior means that the Carica has nothing to be ashamed of comfort wise for what it is, though it is still a small car with relatively primitive suspension, putting it somewhere in the middle.
Reliability wise, the Carica is placed just a notch below the very best cars.
Not all small cars are deathtraps. The Carica is better than average and probably among the best cars in its class.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
MARA IRENA - @AndiD
Despite automatic transmission and a relatively primitive engine, the Mara Irena gulps less fuel than average.
The Mara Irena is among the cheaper cars to service.
Purchase price comes second only to the Salon.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: GOOD
The Mara Irena is a real workhorse with space for all your needs and guts to move it around too, impressive for such a small car.
The ground clearance is surprisingly low considering the standards of Archanan roads, meaning that this RWD, open diff car with hard compound tyres is kind of weak on the worst of roads.
GAG SCORE: EXCELLENT
The Irena is not really an Ivera Executive, but still offers decent levels of comfort.
Driving dynamics of the little Irena is at a pretty good level, considering the primitive tech with leaf sprung rear axle and RWD.
Reliability wise, the Irena is one of the better cars from its era.
After the 1986 update, the safety is at an acceptable level.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
MATSUMA FUJI 1800DLX - @mart1n2005
Compared to the average car, the Matsuma Fuji 1800 DLX is slightly less thirsty on fuel, despite being all wheel drive.
Service costs of the Matsuma is at an average level.
Purchasing a Matsuma Fuji was a bit more expensive compared to some competitors back in the days.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
Some competitors beats the Matsuma Fuji both when it comes to roominess and load capacity, although still is decently practical.
For an AWD car the offroad capabilities is disappointing, at the same level as some of the 2WD competitors.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
A comfortable suspension tune and a nicely appointed interior means that comfort is decent in the Matsuma Fuji.
AWD, secure handling and a variable ratio steering are all things that makes the Matsuma Fuji nice to drive.
Fujis have a reputation to break down much less often than the average car.
Having safety equipment on a much higher level than the regulations required back then, the Matsuma Fuji is still a decently safe car.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: GOOD
GSI BROODMASTER - @oppositelock
Fuel economy of the Broodmaster is about average, which is not too shabby with a V6 and automatic transmission.
Service costs of the Broodmaster is at an average level.
Purchase price of the Broodmaster was slightly lower than average.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The Broodmaster has decent room, but above all it has a high load capacity, its truck like leaf sprung solid axle actually is an advantage there.
Despite having an open diff and only RWD, the Broodmaster is actually decent when it comes to doing light offroading.
GAG SCORE: GOOD
Comfort wise, the GSI Broodmaster does not stand out in a neither bad or good way.
Despite power steering and automatic transmission, the Broodmaster is not the easiest car to drive, maybe due to its primitive chassis technology.
Considering the simple technology, the Broodmaster could have been a tad more reliable.
The Broodmaster is about as safe as average.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
KAMIKAZE NAGOY - @Sealboi
The Kamikaze Nagoy drinks remarkably less fuel than average.
Service costs of the Nagoy is at an average level.
Purchase price of the Nagoy was at the expensive end of the scale.
CHEAPSKATE SCORE: FAIR
The hatchback is practical and roomy in itself, but both loadspace and capacity is compromised.
A limited ground clearance, only RWD and open diff means that there is better cars for bad road conditions than the Nagoy, finishing near the bottom of the list.
GAG SCORE: FAIR
The Kamikaze Nagoy is a comfortable car to travel in thanks to relatively soft suspension tune and 4 wheel independent suspension.
Kamikaze? Yeah, that’s the right name for this car considering its oversteering tendencies that gives a disappointingly low driveability.
Considering that, it might be good to know that your chance of surviving the crash is better than in many of the other cars.
Reliability is lower than for most cars in the bunch.
SENSIBILITY SCORE: FAIR
TL:DR - Moving on to the finals are @conan , @Hilbert , @Maverick74 , @AndiD , @Executive , @mart1n2005 , @oppositelock and @Sealboi . Congratulations!
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Well, that’s just about the result I expected - though before the bin round made it clear that I shot too far upmarket, I thought that I would surely have more competitors in comfort and offroad. And I was all worried about that aspect, too. Maybe one of the actual film crew will end up buying the Warlock because it’s just that nice, eh?
2 Likes
TBH, Caprice Estates had a somewhat-kind-of-popularity among certain-kind-of-media-profiles back then, so why not? Lol. Yeah, I know that this is closer to a Malibu, an actual Caprice competitor would have been binned so hard that the not-a-TH700 would have started to identify as a 70s Ford transmission, accidentaly fallen into reverse and reversed back all the way to Texas as soon as it had sensed my rage.
2 Likes
Anyway, aftermath, spoken from perspectives of two different individuals in two different time periods, neither of which is named Mrdja.
Oh, also for understandable reasons assume that language of bork is used, as Knug would refer to Swedish.
Aftermath
Guests
Some vehicle had entered parking lot.
It didnt belong to any which we may service and, considering its pristine condition, its users were unlikely to swap.
Something wasnt exactly right: they are actually looking at that old Saguaro we have on used cars lot.
This was interesting behaviour and so, my charming personality jumped into action, moving from excuse of chair we had at that point.
“I see you are interested in one of our offers…planning for winter beater?”
“Can be said, but no. We actually have in plans to do something else…Project is rather exciting but we kinda need some well-used machine to fulfill it”
“You had, then, arrived to right place. That Saguaro is pretty solid option i would say.”
“We think so too, looks like scaled-down muscle wagon. Also this amount of wear and tear is acceptable by us: we are looking at used cars after all”
“Ah nice to hear that. Can i be of any help?”
“We might want to look at service history of the car, also some more data about car itself would be very welcome. And by that i mean very basic specs”
I knew exactly what kind of papers will be needed here, so i went to search for them.
Sure enough, i found them at my table…suspiciously surrounded by crayons.
Thought nothing of it, and returned to potential customers with it in tow.
“Gentleman, i present to you documents. We gathered basic info and service history in this folder.”
Folder exchanged hand and got opened, with fair bit of chuckle.
“Are you always this creative with this stuff?”
In horror, i realised what crayons were doing there…he will get a sound beating out of this, i sensed it.
And yes, they also realised how much of failed parent i am, according to their looks of acceptance.
“Shall we move on? Its fairly scribbled around, but readable.”
“Uh…ok i guess…i shouldnt have left my son alone at my desk…sorry for that…”
“Sure…its regularly serviced atleast, although not necessarilly with adequate parts (looking at mismatched headlight)
Fuel economy, service cost numbers and asked price are tad bit too high to our taste”
“Really? Im sure we can work something out…”
“Probably would, but we are yet to check another 5 cars…besides, we are but a lowly interns of our group.
Higher-ups decide and they are ones that will decide on test drives
Fking cheapskates and their < Well you are already going through that area so might as well gather some info >…anyway enough of my rambling”
He returned me opened folder of embarassment and took small notebook and pencil and meticulously written down contents of said folder.
My shivering hands yearned for heat and, to be honest, prob of anger.
I was allowed to close offending folder and they packed their stuff.
That was it, or so i thought…
I dont recall boss being this RED in the face.
I dont recall words that were said.
What i do recall…he decided to check on the folder, after customers decided our offer isnt gonna cut it.
Someone is GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!!!
HONEY IM HOME
My entrance call had echoed through the house after being on work-related trip for a week, attracting attention of my, by now, wife of 6 years.
It also atttracted attention of our daughter being 5 and…HIM.
Flood had started at appearance of his 2y old persona
“YOU!! I TOLD YOU MANY MANY TIMES TO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING
AND WHAT DID YOU DO
EXACTLY THAT
IF IM NOT GETTING FIRED OVER YOUR MISBEHAVIOUR CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY, YOUNG MAN”
His sister was crying, HE was crying, my wife too.
I slammed my work room shut, THUD echoing through house but even more in my ears…
After several hours, doorhandle started to wiggle around. Half a minute later, Pampers-clad individual had managed to enter room.
I looked at him
He looked at me
“Dad, im sorry.”
"Your sorry solves absolutely nothing in this situation.
Our potential customer likely assumed im total idiot
My boss likely thinks im idiot
Everyone that saw our ad likely thinks < What kind of idiot slept on keyboard> "
“I just wanted to help…”
“I dont need your help. Now get lost.”
Indeed did so and i havent seen him for better part of week.
Present
Leather of my office chair creaked as i adjusted my position.
Its hard to believe how much this place changed over the course of 25 years.
Despite being only 27, i was able to follow the progress due to fact my father worked…well, exactly here where im currently seated.
I was currently checking on the lineup of cars we have in inventory.
My heart sank when we got to item titled SaguaroFailedStar.
I remember vaguely how interesting it was to wait on that sitcom Familjen Medelsvensson if im not mistaken.
Weirdly enough, even tho even then i was obsessed with cars, i cant really recall car used there by dad of that family.
I always connected that sitcom with very old Saguaro wagon we have in parking lot…for very good reason.
That reason was solidified as i took a glance at 2.5 decade old document, with fair few strikes of crayon inflicted by 2y old myself.
I remember…enough.
“Hey, i need your help, young man” man in his 50s peeked into my office.
“Ironic. Remember that conversation we had about this?” throwing folder on table.
Dad had seriously tried to piece together what exactly i asked of him, visibly failing.
“I scribbled on some documents and you ended up being very angry.”
“That…really doesnt narrow as much as you think it does. You were always trying to help, mainly putting ME in problematic situations”
“Leaving 2y old unsupervised didnt really help”
ENOUGH. IF YOU TWO DECIDE TO START SOME FAMILY DISCUSSION ON JOB I SWEAR…argh im too old for this.
“This discussion includes you as well.”
Old man had glanced at folder. His physicality was inevitably ruined by fact he is now in his 80s, but memory was as sharp as ever.
“I cant tell who fked me up the most: you, you or that car. Its very close call.”
“Im still in impression that such title is to be held by your wife.”
“Yes, but im not working with her.”
“You arent working full stop. Only thing you do is scream sometimes at first person that makes you cranky”
“Or complain about how 70s were nicer times and 2022 is shit. During 70s you couldnt buy armchair with massage function.”
“You smug kid…anyway im gonna need to visit my office, its time for my medicine to be taken.”
Dad and i were now again looking at each other, only to burst out laughing.
(Pitbull’s “Hotel room service” had anounced itself.)
My work phone is ringing.
I answered.
Voice had spoken
“Hello we are interested in seeing what kind of cars you have. We are at your dealership in about 2 hours.”
“Ok, will be sure to meet you up…i just need to…organize something on my side”
“Fair enough.”
I settled down in my chair back again and decided to get back to work, which wasnt much of work anyway.
Traversing Youtube:
"Oh my god, thats brutal! Aaand Urbana is out of race…these hosts really werent very skilled in picking out good cars…last few years anyway.
I wonder what will be entered this year?
3 Likes
Sick write up G, that was nice.
Engineeringwise my last few cars I’ve submitted in challenges have been “suspension focused” since I always got dinged for fucked up suspensions in the past, among other things. Now its time to study fuel economy. I dont know how fools out here gettin 40+mpg cars. If I make one right now it’ll be purely by accident. But Imma figure it out tho. Also, I make low to mediocre cars in terms of the numbers. You, @Aruna and @abg7 actually spelled everything out, yall have helped out tremendously.
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Well, if it makes ya feel better, the current update redoes how everything about engines work, so everyone will have to relearn how to build a fuel efficient car again. 
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This is a hard fact. It is better (more realistic I suppose), but different, and it is going to make doing just normal stuff pretty hard for a while. I lost like 60HP on the last engine I was working on and I can’t get it back.
3 Likes
Hey, the Axuus wasn’t bad, the mediocre fuel economy was not too off for being the car it was. The main problem was that you aimed a bit more upmarket than some entries I guess but that’s a gamble too, the Salon failed by doing the opposite and the golden midway is not always easy to find.
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So it seems like I built a very average car. Perfect for the average family!
1 Like