The 2024 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers (RACE OVER!)

Team Vet Inte - Pre-Signup Part 3

The nice quiet Swedish countryside was broken up by a rather unpleasant noise. The looping “Metal pipe falling sound effect” was unmistakeably Martin’s phone ringing. It was Jonathan calling, who the team sent out to test the car just a few minutes ago.

“What do you mean it’s broken?” Martin was rather upset as he put his phone on loudspeaker. “Well, I hit a jump.” “And what exactly is broken?” “The car. All of it. The rear suspension is collapsed. When I turn on the headlights, the horn is on, and the car doesn’t run when it’s off. I have to hold the steering at full lock for it to go straight. The gear lever came off, and I lost the brake pedal because it tore through the floor of rust. So it’s broken.”

“How big was that jump?” asked Martin. “Just enough to lift the wheels off the ground.” As Rasmus was about to call for a tow, Jonathan was heard on the phone again. “Do not bother with the tow truck. Call the fire station instead.”

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A trip to Sweden - Part 2

♪ Marjatta, oi Marjattain mun…Marjatta, oi puolukkain mun ♪

The radio played music, as an average Finnish family was driving along on the Valtatie 18, from Alavus to Laihia. As their japanese hybrid SUV traveled down this main road, the family inside listened to this song that the driver, a man in his 50s, not showing them well, loved.

Husband: This song gives me great memories of days past…I’m glad they still play it on the radio.

Wife: Yeah, it’s the third time this month you say that…

Husband: Is there ANYTHING you want to talk about? Sometimes I think all you do is complain and mumble mumble…

Wife: Yeah! We can talk about the fact that you almost asfixiate us every time…you and your obsession with perfume.

An awkward silence filled the car, only the mumbling of the kids’s father audible, before someone else’s voice broke the noise?

Daughter: Who’s Marjatta? In the song!

Husband: I’m glad you ask! Marjatta…well, Marjatta is-SAATANA!!!

The SUV quickly swerved to avoid an accident, the reason behind it? Some youngster in an old, yellow modified hatchback cut him off, and around 5 of them followed suit, alongside a white camper van and a blue flatbed truck with an old Sedlak on it.

Wife: Is everyone okay?

Husband: He throws a punch at the steering wheel. This little jonne…ugh…it’s always these punks driving those…fucking modified cars! They are good just at wasting oxygen…when does the Poliisi do anything about them? No! It’s never those punks, ruining the day of normal people! Mumble mumble mumble…

As the Seinäjoki Speed Freaks continued their road trip to Sweden, it was clear that they were not professionals in the very slightest, ripping around the road to Vaasa, overtaking cars, racing with each other and generally being all around assholes. Right behind them, Mikko’s campervan, and the blue flatbed truck with their car for the rally, manned by Akseli and Jani.

Jani: Man, this is like Need for Speed in real life, it’s so awesome!

Akseli: Shut up. I’m trying to concentrate, those guys make it hard, you make it even harder.

Jani: Tosses an energy drink can over him and in the back.

Akseli: Jani? This is not a garbage truck and I am not a garbage man. You’re picking all those cans up later, understood? Also, stop drinking that shit, you’re going hyper.

Jani: Yeah…yeah, whatever, it’s not like it’s your truck…look! Kari’s trying to overtake you!

As Kari, the driver of the old yellow hatchback, attempted to overtake Akseli’s flatbed, he finally got in the mood for some racing. Opening the exhaust valves, you could hear the sound of the Diesel V8 coming out of the straight-piped exhaust, and the unassuming flatbed truck slowly started pulling away, a black cloud of diesel smoke the only thing they could see from the mirror.(https://www.youtube.com/shorts/WpzG5aYs6GI)

Jani: See? You can race too!

Akseli: Cut it out, it was a one-time occasion…

Akseli would grab the walkie-talkie in the truck, which he had paired to Mikko’s walkie talkie, and quickly began speaking in it.

Akseli: Oi! Rest stop up ahead, let’s stop for lunch.

Mikko: Alright, I’ll tell the rest of the squad, over.

Akseli: Don’t “over” me, we’re not in the special ops.

Mikko: Okay! Okay…wow, fine man.

The crew stopped at a rest stop for lunch, time for some beer, some sausages, and hopefully to have some fun with each other. Well, for most of them, really. The dynamic of the group had become…weird, since the Speed Freaks had been formed, but it’s not exactly relevant now, as it will be later on.

Jani sat alone, smoking a cigarette now that everyone else was talking, having fun. He didn’t understand it. It seemed yesterday that him and Mikko were such close friends, but now, with the arrival of Akseli, the rest of the squad, everything just seemed…off, he was alone. Well, it didn’t really matter now for him, he would just…do the race, have fun, everything that this was supposed to be. But you know, when you thought he was alone, he wasn’t really that alone.

There was another person of the team in the vicinity, someone who Jani had noticed, but never had the time to introduce himself to. Alexandra Boyd, the blue-haired girl who had quickly taken his attention due to being…exactly not the type of person to hang around Mikko and his crew. She was rolling a joint at the very moment, she did give off a bit of those stoner vibes after all, but she seemed nice enough, at least. Well, she noticed Jani, and decided to walk over towards him, maybe ask him how he was, whatever. She walked towards him, and leaning over the same place he was located, she tapped on his shoulder.

Alexandra: Woah…dude, what are you doing out here, you alright?
She was speaking in a very broken Finnish, she was clearly not from here.

Jani: Spooked out by the tapping on his shoulder. Vittu- I’m fine, yeah! Completely fine.

Alexandra: Sorry-…you don’t look that fine to me…hey, do ‘ya mind if we speak in English? My Finnish’s fuckin’ broken, sorry.

Jani: Sure, sure. Wait, you’re not from here?

Alexandra: Well…not really? Truth be told, dude, I’m from Canada, I just study here in Finland. I’m majoring in Political Science at the University of Tampere…you?

Jani: I’m still in, uhh…high school. But how are you here? With Mikko and everyone else?

Alexandra: I met them back at a race…I’m personally pretty good behind the wheel, no racing driver, but I try my best! And…um, Mikko asked me if I wanted to be part of the group. I think that he thinks he has a chance of getting in bed with me, nuh uh, no chance dude. It’s giving “desperate”.

Jani: You’re serious? I met him back in middle school, he didn’t seem like that type of guy, oh my-

Alexandra: Exactly! Oh, sorry, I haven’t introduced myself yet, I’m Alexandra, and you’re-?

Jani: Oh! I’m Jani, it’s nice to meet you.

Alexandra and Jani shook hands, then her hands moved back to the joint she was rolling.

Jani: Rolling a cigarette? He had never tried drugs, ever.

Alexandra: Something better…this’ll cheer 'ya up, hey, I’ll let you take the first hit if you want to. She would pass him the joint, holding the lighter.

Jani: Hey, I never tried that, I- I’m not sure.

Alexandra: Come on, dude, just this once, 'ya can do it.

Jani: Okay, let’s do this. Whew, Jani, you can do this.

Jani ended up lighting the joint, and taking a hit. Okay, maybe two. Maybe three. Then he passed it back to Alexandra, and she took a few hits as well, they started talking with each other, having fun, maybe Jani had finally found a friend now that Akseli and Mikko were growing…distant.

Alexandra: Hey…hey…listen man. If you want to…like, not ride in the truck with mechanic guy…you can be my passenger princess…hah…you’re passenger princess-

Jani: I’m not…a passenger princess. But sure, I’ll ride in your car, yeah…

Continues in Part 3 tomorrow

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Y.E.A.R.

The Description of the Team

Prologue - "We haven't been smart... as always"

Checking other people - Getting an Idea

September 30th, 3:20 PM
Ángel’s Workshop (Temporary Y.E.A.R. Headquarters)
Naha, Okinawa Prefecture, Japan

The Team, at first, seemed quite satisfied with their entry. It had recently been checked, inspected, and approved, and was already on the way to Sweden.

They had high hopes ! Definitely even higher than the ones the Firulais had back at the Shitbox Rally.

But, same as those guys, they’d have those high hopes absolutely destroyed once they saw what sort of a lineup they were facing.

Ángel:“Good, people… So, I’ve heard there are more entries…”
María:“Well, that’s a bit obvious, ain’t it ? It wouldn’t be a race if there weren’t any more teams.”
Ángel:“I mean… I think at least someone must have a car similar to ours…”

He said, as he clicked to check on the current entries. He was in shock, once the images loaded…

Ángel:“Uhm…”
Hou:“Well, that African-French Team doesn’t look all that scary.”
Ángel:“I mean, they are comparable to us, if that’s what you’re saying. Although we shouldn’t underestimate anyone. Those Brunelles can be really tough -Why do you think those are so popular in Africa-, so, it’s even with this team.”
Kanna:“Definitely, it’s even so far…”

He continued scrolling…

Ángel:“Now these guys from Finland seem quite determined… A Sedlak Silva ! Haven’t seen one of those since I left Russia ! My former physics teacher had one.”
Kanna:“Was it good ?”
Ángel:“Far better than the Lata I owned back then… Although it was also renouned for it’s uhhhh… Unreliability.”
Ryoga:“I mean, European Cars are usually quite complex.”
Ángel:“Still, another cool and even challenge. Both of the ones I’ve seen seem to be faster than ours though. But, hey, MARÍAAAAAA !”
María:“Yes ?”
Ángel:“Look ! There are some guys from Finland in here !
María:“I hope they are sociable then. I haven’t used my Finnish speaking skills for months now…”

Another Scroll.

Ángel:“OK, these ones I know.”
Catherine:“Ah, so those are the Germans you talked me about, right ?”
Ángel:“Bingo. The Rhino Squad.”
María:“What is the Rhino Squad ?”

Apparently, María hadn’t paid much attention to Ángel’s Shenanigans at the Shitbox Rally. Not that it mattered much…

Catherine:“Is that a…”
Ángel:“It’s… A Cop Car. Huh.”
Catherine:“Well… Now that’s when the challenge begins…”
Ángel:“I’ve been told those Globus’ are both fast, and Resistent. As long as they don’t wreck us, we should be fine…”
María:“Why did you buy a car that could split in half in the first place !?”
Ángel:“Because I thought it truly was a GT !”

As they discussed, they continued scrolling… But they got the shock of their lives…

Ángel:“…”
Catherine:“Why are you looking like that, Milksweet ? That thing looks like a bunch of scaffolding.”
Ángel:“Uhm… It AIN’T. It’s a car… With a Rollcage all round.
María:“Well, that doesn’t sound so menacing.”

María wasn’t exactly looking. She was just hearing the others go about. However, this time she would’ve had to look to even understand what sort of a mess they’d gotten into…

Ángel:“Well… I mean, literally, all around the car, even on the outside.”
María:“Uhhh…”
Ángel:“Well… If that thing is allowed to race, I think the best we could do is getting out of it’s way when we see it in the rear-view mirror. If they decide to wreck us, I don’t think we’d survive.”
María:“If they wreck us they’ll see…”
Kanna:“Big sis, calm down for a moment please.”
Ryoga:“Hey, yeah, María, calm down. We don’t want to have a fight as soon as those guys roll in.”
Ángel:“One of them even looks like my former neighbor. But even Sergey looked slightly less… Bossy, less INTIMIDATING, than that guy.”

Team Bowling really scared these guys. Ángel couldn’t even sleep (given how he’d essentially worked really hard to get the car ready). But they had made the decision to race, and they weren’t going to withdraw.

As Ángel looked at the rest of the teams (some looking more familiar than others), María proceeded to Book the flights. Thankfully, Ángel and Hou had got their visas stamped, and the rest didn’t need a Visa.

However, that same night, she’d get some… Less than comforting news.

María is on a thread

October 1st, 7:19 AM
María’s Penthouse
Sapporo, Hokkaido Prefecture, Japan

(Text Messages)

???: マリア・ユコバヤロスラヴリ夫人 (Miss María Yukobaiyaroslavl)
María: はい、先生?(Yes, sir ?)
???: あなたが私たちのブランドをレース用の車にどのように取り入れているかに気づきました (We have noticed how you have put our brand on a car for a race)
María: はい、スウェーデンでのイベントのためです、私の兄弟と何人かの友達と一緒です (Yes sir, it’s for an event in Sweden, with my brothers and some friends.)
???: 私たちが気にしているのはそんなことではない (That’s not what we care about)
María: では、なぜ彼らはそのために私に手紙を書いているのでしょうか?(So why are you writing to me about that?)
???: その車に私たちのロゴを入れる許可をもらいましたか?(You asked our permission to put our logo on that car?)
María: いや、でも、必要なかったと思うんですよね?(No, but, I don’t think I needed it, right?)
???: 必要でしたね。 最後に。 これで彼女を解放してやろう。 しかし、もしその車が事故に巻き込まれ、あなたがレースから離れてしまったら、この会社には別れを告げることになります。(You did need it. Anyway. We’ll let you off the hook with that. But if that car is involved in an accident that takes you out of the race, say goodbye to this company.)

And, just like that, María was now hanging on a thread. If their car broke down, she could keep her job. But if they had a crash which would take them out, she’d loose everything. Suddenly, she absolutely despised the idea of her putting the stickers on the car.

The Bosses of the Company, the even higher-ups than her had taken stuff with seriousness… As if she’d truly done a sponsorship deal.

And she wasn’t the only one who was tense…

"That damn girl just won't leave me alone!"

7:55 AM
Ángel’s Flat
Naha, Okinawa Prefecture, Japan

Catherine didn’t (nor did anyone else) knew, but Ángel had actually encountered his Ex-Girlfriend (Nicole, probably mentioned once or twice before at the Shitbox Rally somewhere) when he went to Moscow for the Visa. Apparently, that girl wouldn’t leave him alone since they reencountered at the Airport.

Today, back at Japan, things wouldn’t change yet…

(Text Messages, Again !)

Nicole: Привет (Hello)
Ángel: Чего же ты от меня хочешь? (Now what do you want from me?)
Nicole: Я хочу вернуть тебя. Посмотрим, любишь ли ты меня еще. (I want to get you back. Let’s see if you still love me.)

Nicole, on the other side of that screen, was playing with Ángel’s mind (first joke of the day!). She knew that, while he was reluctant to come back, he had a soft spot somewhere…

That soft spot would still not show…

Ángel: Я не хочу, чтобы ты снова мной манипулировал. Может быть, ты думаешь, что я ничему не учусь, но я уже достаточно узнал от тебя, чтобы позаботиться о таких вещах… (I don’t want you to manipulate me again. You may think I don’t learn, but I’ve learned enough from you to be careful of this kind of thing…)
Nicole: Уверяю вас, я больше этого не сделаю. (I assure you that I will not do it again.)
Ángel: Ваш аккаунт в Инстаграме говорит мне об обратном… (Your Instagram account suggests otherwise…)
Nicole: Ты видишь, что ты все еще любишь меня? Почему ты смотришь на мой Инстаграм? (You see you still love me? Why are you looking at my Instagram?)

Ángel had a tough time trying and thinking for an answer.

He knew he was loosing this battle.

And to that, he simply proceeded to block that chat number, turn off the phone, and yell at the pillow.

Catherine, who heard this last bit, woke up.

Catherine:“You OK, Milksweet ?”
Ángel:“Uh ? Uhhh… Y-Yeah, just had a nightmare…”

Ángel wasn’t particularly reactive not just because of this… he hadn’t had Mind Reading Incidents since at least 3 days ago (last time it happened was at Beijing on the way back from Moscow).

Catherine showed genuine concern. She kinda had that feeling that her boyfriend might just be passing thru rough times now… And she still doesn’t even know that his ex has something to do with it.

Some days later, that bad feeling would maybe fade away…

The Actual Trip to Sweden

October 2nd, 6:21 PM
Tokyo-Haneda International Airport
Tokyo, Tokyo Prefecture, Japan.

Not an eventful flight, to say the least. Apart from Catherine having to book two seats just to fly somewhat comfortably, and Kanna having an itch of fear, not much else happened…

October 3rd, 10:14 AM
Stockholm-Arlanda International Airport
Stockholm, Sweden

The Flight Plan was, in usual fashion, way messier than expected. No airline offered direct flights from Tokyo-Haneda to Stockholm-Arlanda. And, because Ángel hadn’t got a chance to obtain a Visa for the rest of the EU, they had to get creative. Ángel miraculously passed the French Control, so they took a flight from Japan to France, then to Sweden.

Kanna, in particular, while she didn’t enjoy the flights, she was having great pleasure on knowing that race-day nearly co-aligned with her birthday. But she didn’t have time to focus on that, as Ángel picked the car from the Seaport, and María rented a Minivan to get all the team’s goods (and the team itself, of course) to Holjesbanan.

6:42 PM
Holjesbanan Rallycross Circuit
Höljes, Sweden.

María:“AT LAST !”
Kanna:“We don’t have to do any more flights ?”
María:“No more flights, Kanna… At least for now.”
Kanna:“Phew…”

Kanna was actually glad that her flying misery was over. They’d apparently arrived quite early to the event (it’d start on October 5th).

…this didn’t necessarily mean their days would be any smoother at Sweden…

And there ends the Prologue !

(Side Note: Not only have I been quite lazy to make new drawings, but, I’m also struggling to keep up with IRL stuff… I’ll add the drawings when I get them done, but please be patient.

As an extra side note; some of the post may NOT feature any drawings. This one will not be one of those…)

Mentioned: @Happyhungryhippo @Djadania @Dildoplocus @nicxv (sorry for the ping…)

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ok since i’ve heard nothing im gonna assume its fine, and dont say I didn’t warn ya

AFAIK I answered your question, what is still unclear?

Team Chitco
Part 0a: Slowly coming together

Pedro...and Tom. and Anna AND Dennis

-I have news.
-Let’s hear them.
-I will be absent for couple of days, beggining of October.
-Remember when we had a quick sex several months ago? Result is gonna come in…about that time.
-Really, I thought your stomach inflated for no reason. I legitimately couldn’t tell you are pregnant.
-I may be vulnerable and would need help…that you can’t provide because…whatever is reason for your absense.
-Could call my brother, i…don’t think he has any small children at the moment
-Are you sure?
-I said I think

Someone giggling from behind the couch responded

-Quite a rarity for you, dad.
-How long is he there?
-I heard everything.
-Havent we had that talk to not spy on people?
-Its still funny

Pedro sighed

-Maybe, but please don’t do it in school.
-We are on vacation. Where are you going anyway?
-Sweden. It’s very cold place and there will be lot of cars going around track. Some will even crash.
-Sounds fun…maybe.

Mom…had an idea.

-Maybe he can bring some of you there. Last thing I need atm is you popping from…wherever and scaring me.
-Can we throw popcorn on track?
-Uhhh, no. Besides, I plan to drive.
-You will compete?
-Yes.
-We gotta prank them.
-No. We will be racing fair. It’s serious competition, race of professionals.
-You can drive car with trailer…therefore you are professional driver. I don’t think so, dad.
-I haven’t caused any accidents, so yes I’m pretty good. Especially considering cacophony of noises most of my passengers emit.
-Will see if someone is interested in going to cold place to watch you drive around track in bad car and crash.

Kid left

-You had to suggest it.
-It will be nice bonding experience.
-Before I’m gonna need to deploy my teammates to babysit children.
-It will be fine.


-So you two are interested in going to watch dad drive?
I can live with this.
-Hi, sorry I’m late.
-Oh no…why you?
-Because it will be fun
-Not for me…I just hope there will be enough space for four of us. Will need to see what would be available when we get to Glasgow.
-Havent you said we are going to Sweden?
-Yes, but our team starts from place called Glasgow. From there, we are going to Sweden.
-Why?
-They…I guess they live there?
-How big is the team?
-I’m…not sure. But we will find out.

Raufoss

BANG

BANG

-I guess this is it. Lemme see if I can open it now.
I can.

He had now entered the flat. This seems to be some kind of base for Krta and his associates.
There was lot to like about this place, mainly because it had lot of ammo our guy uses because elite members of Krta’s forces also use said ammo.

-Hmm…I might as well have backup.

And with that, he picked up one of weapons along with relatively big box of ammo, which will be followed by some more boxes of both ammo and food.


-Raufoss Smons
-You know my name. Can I ask for yours?
-No…Chicota Senior Loojoephantom.
-Well, go fuck yourself I guess.
-How busy are you nowadays?
-Why would that be of your business?
-You are technically possible member of team and could be really useful driver.
-For what?
-Trafikjournalen 24h of Clunkers. We plan to enter 2005 VerBanka Cauchy 2.0 Eco.
-You know, I guess, that I don’t indulge in driving shitty cars.

There is pause

-I guess you wouldn’t be willing to be mechanic either?
-I had little bit of research myself and I really find it unlikely that me and my…codriver would be able to contribute.
-Codriver?
-My gun
-Right…Still, it could be fun. You might land your eye on some competent daily driver there.
-What is wrong with my car?
-Guzzles fuel. It is excellent car, not to be mistaken, but I don’t think it’s quite right for what you do.
-Has two good reasons to do so.

Pause

-Either way, we expect you to join us. There will be free food and free beer and we will make sure to prep parking space for your car…and pay for fuel.
-You are trying too hard.
-Maybe, but we would be happy to have you along. Besides, little bit of socializing is always nice to have.
You exist for one month and seven days and are like WORK, WORK, WORK whole time. Smons we know and love isn’t like that.
-I may be based on him, but I’m not him.
-Yeah, but I feel he might have enjoyed the opportunity to join. You aren’t him, but are similar enough. Who knows, maybe you will have a say next year in choosing our entry…

Raufoss smirked.

-I guess I could join your band of chaos. It might not be entirely sucky.
-Well, go fuck yourself…and see you in Glasgow.

He chuckled

-See you there

Call was ended and Raufoss now had destination that will promptly be punched into satnav.

Edward...and Sora...and Mat

Throne met the ass and had a bit of give as response.
Owner of ass assumed comfortable position and called for first person to come in

-My King, I arrive with news. You know that I’m big car enthusiast and had managed to get ahold of this magazine about it. It’s called Trafikjournalen and they organize this race of sorts that involves cheap cars.
-Why would I care about such an event?
-You…participated in it last year? I somehow got hold of you scoring 5th that year. This year, in case you return, there might even be a win.
-I shall consult with my advisor.
-You did recall that you often chased two criminals around here without second thought. Hell, they stole a car three days ago.
-And I returned it back. Point being?
-You don’t need any stupid advisor to drive like a maniac.
-I’m calling out

NONSENSE

And the King left…until he grabbed the advisor and returned. Advisor was understandably confused

-Dare to say that to her face
-You don’t need advisor to tell you if you can or can’t drive a car
-You did called her stupid.

She spoke

-What is all of this about? I was just now explaining best way to do surgery on open heart to some green-ass doctor.
-Ah…you too participated in some race of rubbish cars last year?
-What?
-I’m informing you that race on which our King participated is happening this year as well. It was placed in some place called Sweden, apparently.
-What, you are that enthusiastic to watch your King hit guardrail?
-Its fun to watch.
-You are weird people.
-We have weird king.

Speaking of whom, throne is again occupied

-After more than 70y, it’s not a surprise I got tad bit weird. I believe you remember my first wife.
-Thats was unwise decision you made young…wait, first? You plan to remarry?
-Yes and I found appropriate candidate already
-Who tf?
-Looking at her atm. Sora lived nice life and was proven to be someone that will not get corrupted with power.
-She is also as old as you are
-Yes, that might help. Besides, having a nurse at hand would be handy for multiple reasons.
If I go to that race, she is coming with me.
-Sweden also has a king btw. Worth keeping in mind.
-Didnt matter last year, wouldn’t matter this year either. Only thing that matters is that I’m gonna try organize how will things be ran during our absence.
-Excuses, excuses…nobody felt your absence last year either
-Bcos I planned it well.
-We both know there was no actual planning.

Edward made some pause before responding

-Dare to challenge King’s wisdom?
-Yes? You aren’t gonna act on it anyway, maybe I can even a company you two on journey, help with luggage.

Edward chuckles

-Could be considered…We will see. I have contacts in Glasgow and that’s where we will go and organise with rest of team. As was case last year, it’s Team Chitco that we are talking about.
-I think I have somewhat of a grasp on Swedish language due to reading that Swedish magazine.
-Thats…not really much of an issue. Could be helpful, however.

Pi...and Andrea

-I request some muscular help.
-No.
-I’m informing you that this is big load that needs to be hauled.
-Lemme see if I can help.

Load is essentially looking like refrigerator someone got on it’s back. Indeed seems rather heavy, partially due to its size, which seems like you could sleep in it.

-I will help you, Pi. I just need to bring some more help.
-Good, I will arrange that we find something able to transport this all the way to Glasgow.
-Van should work.
-If that’s so…I think this might fit?
-Kontir Roxton…indeed, it will work.
-Good. It’s sorted out then.


Coming together

-Chicota, they arrived.
-Who?
-Mrdja, VerBanka, Shaike and some driver apparently.

He looks through window and confirms last vehicle they used is still what they use…with the matching trailer. Hops into it, with trailer still attached, finding it well-suited for what he wants to do. After confirmation, he gets lot of money and is on his way, unstoppable.
Just for sake of…representing just how much can potentially be brought back from his spree, he is using proper van and upon return, it was indeed dutifully mostly filled with beer crates. Which is a lot of beer crates.


Almost all relevant vehicles that shall be utilized would soon appear…along with relevant users.

-Dad, what is that?
-I don’t know, but it seems like a van.
-Argh, it looks like shit outside. Seriously, you haven’t even washed it?

Then the kid decided to use sliding door to access the situation on inside.
It was even shittier.

-This is terrible. How would anyone agree to riding in this?
-Do you know what manners are?
-No.
-You shall be slapped mightily, as declared by older sibling such as me.
-So fat, you will NEVER catch me.
-Watch me.

Pedro didn’t felt like interfering on this sibling bicker and resulting chase, which extended into going through van.
And then it happened.

-YOU SPILLED YOUR JUICE ALL OVER THE SEAT
-IT’S BECAUSE YOU PUSHED ME
-DAAAAD!!!

Seat wasn’t the only affected area…Pedro has now deeply regretted bringing children and swept in to look at the damage.

-I might as well leave you lot here if you cause any further trouble
-We promise we will be nice
-I doubt it.
-You know we aren’t much trouble usually
-WHICH OF YOU SNEAKED BEER INTO HERE?!?

Chicota appeared

-I decided we shall carry plenty of beer. All vehicles we will use will carry beer crates. Partially because I enjoy beer, partially to make friends there.
I’m going there to drink and make friends.
-Ah…so we meet once again…
-Yes, Pedro, we do.
-So we are using this van?
-Yes.
-Anybody called dibs on it?
-Nope. As I intend to drink while going there, I’m not gonna drive. As I’m robot, I would have no chance of getting drunk, but unwilling to explain that to police.
You interested? It’s merely bigger than your vehicle but of same type and tows same kind of trailer.
-Hmm, true that…four of us will use van, then.

Next arrivals would be Edward, Sora and third person. While Edward didn’t necessarily have anything against trio of chaos now established in the van, he decided that other option avaiable would do nicely.

-I may be a King, but I’m certainly not going to flash around my title and wealth. This is a race of shitboxes, so this convoy seems very appropriate.

Before more could be said, Raufoss arrived, interrupting him. His ride had attracted some chosen responses

-…
-Wha…?
-WHOA
-WOW
-THAT’S BEST CAR EVER!!!

Edward is King however and missed no beat

-Someone we know?
-Not only that, he is coming along.
-With us?
-Yes.
-I our convoy? To Sweden?
-Yes.
-Quite interesting. I’m sure there is some more space in these…

-I have no interest in being driven or driving such vehicles.
-May I ask you why?
-Because I’m looking for certain degree of overall competence in my vehicles. They both need to have great design and be very-well engineered.
Then ofc, there is also need to have easy access to my co-driver

He would pull out rather big Barrett M82, indicating this is “co-driver” he is referring to.

-I’m told we have no reason to come there with weapons, but I’m nevertheless bringing it. While this is intended to be chance to socialise and stuff, I know my opponents never rest and if they come to crash our fun…I will be prepared.
-Isnt that little excessive?
-Not at all. In regards to killing incompetence, there is no kill like overkill.
-Just be discreet about it. We don’t want trouble with hosts just because we have such arsenal.
-Dont worry, that isn’t in my interest either.

Support vehicles...

I shall mention Mrdja, Madrias and Nev in exactly that order, as without them ingredients of this convoy would not exist.
Each of them was responsible for one vehicle each and those will be mentioned in same order as was done for creators


1995 Kontir Cunningham 1.9
Kontir is Gasmean brand that makes…well, this kinda stuff anyway: pickup trucks, vans, SUVs…that sorta deal.
Cunningham means that we are talking about rather big pickup truck: somewhere in spectrum of full-size or even tad bit above that. It’s not medium-duty, however.

This thing was already used by team in just about any Shitbox Rally so far organized by Shift Happens. It clearly looks rather big…and it is. It’s only support vehicle with 4X4, which makes sense tbh.

It’s longest overall, close to being widest, likely tallest by far (due to the aftermarket construction on it) and…lightest. No, really, this vehicle having over 2000 kg is lightest here. Having smallest engine (which also provides least amount of power) probably helps in that matter. It has 4 cylinders, 2 liters and 157hp. Yes, there is vehicle in convoy having a turbo or two…or four. No, this ain’t that vehicle.
Only vehicle of team that comes from last century and only whose cylinders are arranged in straight line. Also has manual gearbox.

It’s towing trailer with participant vehicle on it and has fair bit of spare parts, supplies (with notable mention of a lot of beer) and general luggage.
Due to its participation in prior SRs, along with fact that it isn’t exactly cuddled in meantime, means it has fair bit of general usage on and in it.


2010 Bricksley Highwayman 3.9 SE
Bricksley is American automaker that had produced this vehicle, which obviously is not a car. Event will also feature Grand Warden used by other team and that obviously is a car. Some other products by this company will be pickup trucks and SUVs.
Highwayman here is a van and, while that isn’t likely to be the case for this generation, had possibility of pickup truck version based on it in the past

This team is (ab)using it for quite some time: this was tow vehicle of choice for previous 24h of Clunkers and would then go on to serve as mobile house to couple of people.

Unlike other supporters (but kinda like participant) this is powering only one axle; rear, to be precise. In most criteria regarding size, this is smallest supporter: only one not having 3.53m wheelbase or length drastically over 5m. Blessed with width that isn’t over 2m etc.
Engine isn’t much to write about: it’s 3.9 liter V6 having 206hp.

While the Highwayman might not end up causing any trouble for group, it very much can and likely will do it if given opportunity.
Between towing a car to Sweden last year, serving as mobile home to some people and then continuing to serve as mobile home while towing a trailer, this van didn’t receive much love in either cleaning or maintenance.
Expect it to be decently dirty and muddy outside and having fair bit of sweat, spilled food and drinks inside.
There is non-zero possibility it still carries at least one mattress, general luggage and supplies (beer deserving special mention) and it probably could serve as sleeping space once more.
It tows a camping trailer (think BeamNG.Drive vanilla trailer fully outfitted inside) that will likely also serve as sleeping space


2020 Thistle Gallus Grace
Thistle is Scottish car manufacturer and, unlike other two that will be mentioned, is brand that isn’t really strictly defined in regards to it’s lineup.
Gallus Grace is luxury sedan of highest order and finds almost no equal.

This is personal vehicle of Raufoss Smons, mainly because he has very high standards in regards to cars he would be using and…this particular example was conveniently avaiable. As such, even tho very much doesn’t fit the vibe of group, it is part of it nevertheless. It has some history with team regardless, but that was some time ago and it wasn’t as consistent as for others

Regarding what makes this special…where one even begins? In front, there is massive 16 cylinder engine with 2 turbochargers. And by massive, we mean “14 liters” kinda massive, which results in subdued 1066hp. Thankfully, it also has AWD which helps controlling the power.
It seats four people and it has just about everything in quantities that leave nobody unsatisfied; seeing that it’s second longest, widest and by far the heaviest (having over 500 kg more than either of other two mentioned) it better deliver.

Raufoss has put his own supplies and equipment on this journey. Expect this car having ammunition and some guns that would use said ammunition inside, along with some supplies (notable exception being beer).

...and people using them

People will be listed by vehicles in which they will arrive on event so, in same order:

Kontir

  1. Andrea VerBanka
    She will probably cook, but most likely will just observe the happenings on track. She is leader of VerBanka brand, which just so happens to be manufacturer of the entry.
    Also will likely celebrate her 26th physical birthday on or around the track (while she was created about 8 years ago, she is technically made on basis of someone that is indeed 26). Is in recovery from some particularly nasty fight she had some time earlier.

  2. Pi Chitco
    Similar story age-wise as 1) but is already 26y old.
    Likely assisting in and around the pits, as she lacks knowledge and skills for much more than that. Her specific build would surely come in handy in regards to hauling heavier stuff.

  3. Edward
    King in his 70s, but looks much younger due to body-spread facelift operation several years ago.
    Kingdom in question is not on Earth, but it’s not specified where it is or how it’s called…so we shall note it just…is.
    Members of other teams that hang out with royalty are most likely going to figure out Edward is such person as well. He will likely not attract attention to title otherwise and Is very much “down-to-earth” type of person.
    One of drivers of the team, known to be able (and willing) to chase down two criminals that have tendency to steal his cars…using another car. Chases result in some light damage to surroundings, due to driving through windows, fruit stands and other such stuff.

  4. Sora
    As is case with her partner she is also in her 70s…and looks every bit like that. On her way to be his second wife, after first one died (thankfully, as she had no redeeming features anyway).
    Sora insists that everyone shall bow down to Emperor, god-like being that is approached in similar fashion as monarch in universe she comes from: said being is regular female otherwise…and somewhat of basis to 1) here.
    Put this aside (as you mostly will) and you will enjoy competence this retired nurse brings to table.
    Obviously a medic of this team.

  5. Mat
    Car enthusiast that had informed Edward about race. This is normal citizen of kingdom led by Edward and would accompany the duo mentioned right above.
    Likely the one to communicate with hosts on behalf of the team due to some knowledge of Swedish. Note said knowledge comes exclusively from magazine, so…there is that.

  6. Michaela Daniloski
    Mechanic of the team and leader of Daniloski brand. She is annoyed that entry is not of Daniloski brand and will be on lookout for competition that runs competitors to Daniloski-branded vehicles to make a point.
    No, she will not care that you brought that super-saloon in terrible shape…it’s still super-saloon. Same goes for most likely find of different spices of hot hatch. Or wagon version of either. Or generally sporty vehicle able to pack a punch. Andrea will get ice bucket in either of those cases.


Bricksley

  1. Pedro Broodnik
    Very capable at making children and helping our group out when and if possible. Usually drives minivan, not a van, but general idea of his kids screaming behind him and him towing a camper stays. He will also drive in this event.
    As mentioned, he often drives minivan mostly filled with children and is towing a trailer most of the time, yet no accident has bestowed him so far.

  2. Tom Broodnik
    One of children of Pedro, that decided to go on journey and see dad racing. Most mature child on journey and probably the oldest

  3. Kate Broodnik
    One of children of Pedro, that decided to go on journey and see dad racing. Expect her to argue with Dennis over petty matters

  4. Dennis Broodnik
    One of children of Pedro, that decided to go on journey and see dad racing.
    This one is youngest of trio and will prank other members of this team (and potentially other teams) if given the opportunity.
    Probably will be morale booster of team…unless he gets too annoying.

  5. Chicota Loojoephantom
    2m tall and 100 kg heavy human-looking robot. While he can both drive and repair car rather well, he joined for possibility of making friends. Therefore he will likely spend most of time drinking beer (which he can do as long as it can physically fit into him) and supplying some more beer to potential drinkmates.

Thistle

  1. Raufoss Smons
    Technically 24y old made about month and a half ago. He is intended to fight off some bad guys originally, hence why he has quite a bit of gun in car…and ammo for it.
    Said gun is Barrett M82 chambered in .50 BMG, which also applies to backup Zastavas M93.
    He was invited to join on the fun, but that doesn’t mean he is assuming meaningful role: while he is solid driver, he also has standards that little Cauchy can’t meet, new or otherwise.
    Raufoss can probably get annoyed, but he will maintain composure more likely than not. He was also advised to leave weapons in car and not behave intimidatingly aka handling said gun around.
Entrant vehicle

2005 VerBanka Cauchy 2.0 Eco
Car is basically making a return into the event, as this is intended to be same vehicle as was case in previous year.
Sadly pictures will have to wait until submission is finalized because it’s currently reworked in that department.
You can see how it previously looked here:
The 2023 Trafikjournalen 24h of clunkers - (END OF RACE!) - #67 by MrdjaNikolen

What went through almost no change is mechanical part of it: it has relatively fresh fuel pump (installed on previous event), has participated in crashes of various variety (also during previous event) and has racked some more distance over already big 500k km it had prior to previous year.
Oh
Also turbo failed in meantime, so it was removed: car now makes less power as result.

3 Likes

A trip to Sweden - Part 3

The situation, as it was, seemed to have calmed down for all the drivers in the group after lunch. By now, they were almost in Vaasa, where the ferry to Sweden awaited them. And Jani was not in the truck with Akseli anymore, having chosen to ride in the EDM K35R driven by Alexandra. As the squad closed in on Vaasa, they all began gradually slowing down, the road gradually turning more and more populated with buildings, before entering the E12 to get in Vaasa proper.

Alexandra: So, feeling better now?

Jani: Never said I was not okay. Still, beats riding in the truck with Akseli. He’s constantly screaming about how “I must not get his baby dirty” or “You cannot put anything in the glovebox as I have neatly arranged all the documentation and the placement will be forever changed” and…yeah.

Alexandra: Woah! OCD much, buddy? You know, kind of reminds me of a few guys now that I think about it…like that guy from that one British TV show, Bottom Gear?

Jani: I wish they still played that- we’re nearing Vaasa now, by the way.

Alexandra: I’m guessing we’ll be going by ferry? Not sure, but I mean, that’d be my guess. And who’s paying for that, exactly? You know I’m not exactly…loaded, right?

Jani: You have a K35R and you complain about money? I wish I had your car.

Alexandra: Most kids on Social Media wished they owned one, until they find out how much of a money pit this thing is…but it just can’t be beat, you know?

She downshifts, and before you know it, the N/A Inline 6 with Individual Throttle Bodies comes to life, filling the cabin and the air with the beautiful music that only this type of engine can produce. A smile forms on her face as the revs gradually rise, before upshifting, and going back to a cruising speed again.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXcllumXYqM)

Jani: And that, is 4000 euros for the Mechanic. By the way, Mikko will be paying for the trip, so don’t worry.

Arriving at the port of Vaasa, everything seemed to be smooth sailing, the tickets were paid for, they were just supposed to load all the cars, hope that the flatbed would fit inside the ferry, and then to Sweden they went. At least, that was supposed to happen, but Mikko decided to cause more havoc. Ignoring the instructions of the ferry operator, he quickly tried to get the white campervan inside the ferry, cutting in line and almost hitting a brand new Sedlak Vanitas, before he was stopped by the ferry operator.

Ferry Operator: Hej, skitstövel! Vad i helvete håller du på med? Gå inte längst fram i kön, det var folk före dig!

Mikko: Painu vittuun, ruotsalainen mulkku.

Ferry Operator: Starts talking in Finnish to Mikko. What the hell is your problem? I told you to wait in line!

Mikko: And I told you to go fuck yourself, you Swedish dick.

Ferry Operator: Okay! You crossed a line here, you’re not getting on that ferry!

Jani: Mikko! Vitun idiootti!

He would quickly jump out of Alexandra’s K35R and approach the Ferry Operator, before talking to him in Swedish because he actually respected him.

Jani: Jag är ledsen för min vän här, sir. Han har haft en dålig dag. Vi måste verkligen, verkligen komma på färjan…

Ferry Operator: I can perfectly speak Finnish. Now, why would I let you on the ferry after what happened?

Jani: You see, Trafikjournalen’s doing this 24 hour rally, and-

He was interrupted by the Ferry Operator.

Ferry Operator: Oh, you’re going there? I always read the magazine, you’re racing, are you? I see that old Silva on the truck, what engine’s it got?

He turned back towards another operator, before screaming to him.

Ferry Operator: FORTSÄTT LASTA BILARNA!

Jani turned to the Silva, fixing his glasses before glancing at the ferry operator.

Jani: Oh! It’s the 1.8T, sir. We hoped to get the 2.0TD for the reliability factor, but it will have to do.

Ferry Operator: Yeah, don’t underestimate it. I had a car with that engine too, they’re well built German units, they last long. Listen, you seem like a good kid, just tell your…friend, that you have to wait in line, I’ll get you on the ferry, alright?

Jani: Alright. Again, I’m sorry.

Ferry Operator: Don’t be, not your fault. He would then turn back, and resume his operations before muttering to himself. Hmm…Han är en bra kille.

Jani walked back towards the rest of the group, while a few of them, like Alexandra and Kari, were happy that Jani had de-escalated the situation, and Akseli didn’t seem to care, just tending at cleaning the bugs off of his headlights, Mikko, oh, Mikko was mad, so mad that he punched Jani in the stomach, on the spot.

Mikko: Haista vittu! Kusipää…

Alexandra and Kari would quickly run to Jani’s position, and quickly tend to his injuries, before Kari turned back to Mikko.

Alexandra: Jani! Jani, are you okay! Shit…you don’t look so good, man-

Jani: Can’t-…breathe-… Jani had a diaphragm spasm after being hit hard in the stomach.

Alexandra: Don’t talk, don’t talk man, you got hit hard, give it half an hour…you’ll feel better, just don’t talk for now, alright?

Jani: Nods twice.

Kari: Mikko! What the fuck are you doing man! Are you out of your fucking mind! He would push Mikko, waiting for his reaction.

Mikko: I didn’t mean to hit him so hard! It was the moment! He did, in fact, mean to hit him that hard.

Kari: I don’t care that you didn’t mean it! He’s your friend, for fuck’s sake, and your teammate, we’re so close to race day and you just-

Akseli: I do not want to get involved in this.

Mikko: Okay! Okay! Mikko is a big asshole that did so many wrongs such as getting everyone a spot on race day and coming up with the idea of the competition! Oooooh! He’s so bad!

Kari: You literally almost lost us the trip man…whatever, let’s finish loading up the cars, we’ll talk about this later.

Okay, this was not the best of situations, still, the team seemed to get out of it, somehow. Alexandra and Kari quickly got Jani back in the EDM, and sat him on the front seat, so that he may be able to catch his breath in peace. Then, slowly but surely, all the cars got loaded up inside of the ferry, and they started their ACTUAL voyage towards Sweden.

Part 4, final part, tomorrow hopefully.

3 Likes

Seinäjoki Speed Freaks - Team Profile

The Drivers

Jani Kyllonen - 17 - Student - He/Him

The youngest member of this trio of Finns with racing dreams, being only 17 year old, Jani has always been a big risk-taker from the start. He has always had a passion for cars, as well as motorcycles, being the proud owner of the fastest moped in his school, and no matter the young age, this has translated well into the world of racing. He knows his way around a car and around a track, even though he is too young to even get a license, driving around a field with an old TREVI 333 that he had got in working condition by himself to be a field car, and some street racing experience, as well as the experience of driving on the public road without a license, has turned him into an actually okay driver, despite his young age. He is quite inconsistent when driving, alternating moments of speed with moments of inability, as well as being extremely unpredictable, you don’t know what trajectory he will take, when he will brake, IF he will brake, etc. He’s also the friendliest, most sociable and most pleasant of the group, with actually decent social skills. He’s known Mikko and Akseli since middle school, however, his relationship with the two seems to be at a point of no return, but now it’s not the time to talk about that. He often screws up even in simple situations, and underestimates how serious a happening may be, but in the end, he’s friendly, he’s a good enough driver and a decent enough mechanic, a good start for the team.

Mikko Harjanne - 19 - Unemployed - He/Him

Mikko, in the world of racing, you could say that he had a lucky upbringing. He’s the son of Finnish rally driver Tommi Harjanne, and with not only the expertise of his father, but also from the cash that rolled in from the sponsorships, he was always able to have the best of the best, both in terms of equipment and skills. He raced on go-karts since an extremely young age, and started rally racing at just 14 years old, both thanks to his father’s name and to a Ypsilantis Gamma Super, 80s Group B legend that they had in the garage. As he grew older, he turned to street racing, his car being a Twin-Turbo Gyazu Bayview, modified to make 700 horse-power, figures that he could handle, well, that he used to handle before police caught him and confiscated the 90s JDM icon. He’s a good driver, a really good driver in fact, the best that the team has to offer. He’s really aggressive, but he knows that he can be because he has the skill to recover, his problem? His personality. While he may be considered of good company to some, he has severe anger issues that he can’t manage, as well as wanting to be right in every situation he finds himself into. He’s also cocky and believes a bit that the world revolves around him, though he can hide this really well. In short, he’s a bit of a narcissist. He’s known Jani since middle school, and met Akseli just a year ago. To him, Jani bothers him more than how he is useful, and Akseli…he’s just antisocial. He’d rather hang out with his team, speaking of which, he has a crush on a member of his team, Alexandra, more on that later. He also cannot work on cars, at all, and hates manual labor with a passion.

Akseli Vanhala - 22 - Mechanic - He/Him

Akseli is, first of all, not a racer. The closest that he does to racing is getting quickly to customers’ locations that are calling for a tow. He doesn’t have a fast car, he drives a work van, or the shop’s flatbed truck, at most he tests the clients’ cars for them after doing work on them, or something. But what Akseli is, is a mechanic, and a damn good one at that. He has grown up working on cars, him and his father are the owners of a shop in Seinäjoki, called Amis Auto. They not only do repairs and mechanic work, but also do modifications and tuning, offering an extensive tuning catalog for those clients who want something more from their cars, as well as towing and inspections of cars. He met Jani in middle school, but the two haven’t seen each other in high school since he went to vocational school, and they only met again, together with Mikko, a year prior to the start of the 24 Hours of Clunkers. He’s…not exactly a social guy. He does not care for human interaction, preferring the complex dynamic of engines rather than the complex dynamic of society, but he’ll talk to you…if he has to, and he’ll help you if you need it. He does not care about drama, he honestly just wants to work on cars.

The Teammates

Kari Järvinen - 20 - College Student/Cashier - He/Him

Met by Mikko at a car meet in Tampere, Kari has a taste for the more…classic cars. Despite being a broke college student, and despite the fact that he could drive modified diesels like the other car enthusiasts in Finland, he chooses to drive a 70s Japanese economy car, with all sorts of upgrades to the engine, from racing carburetors, to a larger port head, to a racing exhaust, and anything you can think of, to make about…117 hp, from this 1.1l SOHC 4 cylinder engine. He’s generally a calm and pleasant guy to be around, he doesn’t brag, he doesn’t like racing, he just wants his car to look nice, and longs for the feeling of the cars of the past. (YES THAT IS A SATSUMA)

Daniel Tuomaala - 19 - Electrician - He/Him

Mikko once raced him, and even though he won, he was impressed by Daniel’s car. With an electrician’s salary, the best course of action is of course to buy a mid 2000s German diesel money pit, and to modify the shit out of it, of course. You’ll see the black smoke shooting out the exhaust when he pushes on the throttle, then you won’t see anything else (until it stops in the middle of the road). He can be a bit of an asshole at times, mainly an enthusiast believing that everything German-built is the best, and he tends to poke fun at other people for their cars, but all and all, he just does this for fun and to joke around, no bad intentions behind it all.

Alexandra Boyd - 19 - College Student - She/They

Being the only team member who is NOT from Finland, Alexandra has quite a story to tell. She comes from Hamilton in Ontario, Canada, however, her mother is originally from Finland, and she studies Political Science at the University of Tampere, and she does not know how to speak Finnish, however, she can understand when someone else speaks it, weirdly. She’s quite a peculiar individual, blue hair, wearing the most atypical attire anyone can choose to wear, she’s a german car afiocinado as well, however choosing to go the N/A Petrol route as opposed to the Turbodiesel route. She’s also a big political activist, she’s seemingly always high, and can be either the nicest person in the world if she considers you pleasant to be around to, or an all-around asshole if she considers you the same. She loves cars, and just wants to have fun. She is well aware that Mikko has a crush on her, and no, she will not date him since not only she is a lesbian, but she thinks of him as a “disaster waiting to happen”.

Rami Pietilä - 23 - Tuning Shop Attendant - He/Him

HE DRIVES A WHAT?!?!?!
Obsessed with American Car Culture, Rami made the not-really financially sound choice to drive around in a 6-meter long American land yacht. No grip on the dirt roads, a devastatingly slow 3 speed slushomatic piece of shit gearbox, and he enjoys it literally like no other. He’s a chill guy to be around, he mostly minds his business however, but if you talk to him, you may find him to be a quite decent individual. This lowrider afiocinado is close friends with Kari (opposite vibes but they still fuck with each other), and when Mikko met Kari, he inevitably met Rami as well. He goes wherever his friend goes, and does whatever his friend does. He’s extremely loyal to the people he’s close to, and he won’t think twice to do the right thing.

Henrik Koski - 22 - Pizza Delivery Driver/College Student - He/Him

The least economically well-off of the team, but that doesn’t mean he lets it all go to waste, but he makes do with what he has. His Swedish-built motorized brick, may look like a grandpa-driven shitbox from the outside, with its steelies, its rusty exhaust and its “Geriatric Gray” paintjob, but with his tuning skills, he can have some fun with it. Rear wheel drive, turbo, and a whole lot of balls to whip this thing around the tight forest roads like it’s a rally car, it’s all that he needs. He’s a LOT of fun to be around. He studies Political Science in Tampere with Alexandra, so it’s through her that he heard about this whole group.

Samuel Selänne - 24 - Junior Financial Analyst - He/Him

Samuel is the oldest of the group, the only one with a proper job, and he often asks himself “why the hell am I running around with these guys” before remembering that he has the time of his life with them. His car is well-built and made with taste, avoiding large wings, obscenely loud exhausts and thousands of horsepower, for a nice, VIP build. While he may give off this air of maturity, he’s a kid at heart, often doing fun, stupid shit just for the sake of doing fun stupid shit. He bought his rims at the shop were Rami works, that’s how he met the rest of the group.

3 Likes

OK, there’s not fully 48 hours left (my grandfather’s birthday today so I had to visit his grave and came home a bit late), but now it is time to start to get stuff together, if you haven’t already…

FULL SUBMISSIONS THIS FAR:
@Happyhungryhippo
@nicxv
@Dildoplocus
@Madrias
@oldmanbuick
@Angelustyle
@Fayeding_Spray
@Djadania

Car file missing from:
@MrdjaNikolen
@0rangeGhost
@06DPA

Car presentation missing from:
@George
@0rangeGhost

Team presentation missing from:
@George
@PhirmEggplant
@06DPA
@0rangeGhost

Car condition description missing/not clear enough from:
@George
@PhirmEggplant
@06DPA
@0rangeGhost

Driver profiles (optional) missing from:
@George

Shout out if something is wrong here, it was quite a lot to keep track of.

Also, hurry to get your stuff done now if you’re not finished!

7 Likes

A trip to Sweden - Part 4 - Final Part

Mikko: Uhh…team? There may be a problem.

Höljes, by now, was just a few hours away, departing extremely early in the morning and stopping just once for lunch may have helped the team achieve a quick time of arrival, who knows, maybe they’d be the first there, or maybe not, whatever. However, there was a problem, a big big problem. By now, a grey SUV had followed them for quite a while, seemingly waiting for something, or someone, to act in a way that they shouldn’t be acting. Daniel thought it would be a good time for a quick overtake, of course on foreign roads and with a tuned diesel, showering Rami and Samuel’s cars with black smoke, before, of course, bad luck would go its course.

The SUV turned on its blue lights…

On radio communication:

Mikko: Daniel! You fucking idiot! That’s the fucking Swedish Police!

Daniel: Saatana-

Akseli: Pull over guys, we may have a problem on our hands.

Rami: I swear to god, if they take my car because of you guys, we’re going to have a problem.

Akseli: I’ll speak to them, you guys calm down, and act natural.

Radio communication over.

Police Officer: Finns, huh? This gets so much better now…everyone! Out of the cars, license and registration of ALL the vehicles, including the car on the flatbed, now!

Everyone in the group would hand their licenses and registrations to the Police Officer, except for Jani, who was sleeping in Alexandra’s car.

Police Officer: He looked over to all the papers, before calling people, one to one. Which one of you is…uhh, Henrik Koski? 1991 EVIG station wagon?

Henrik: That’s me, sir. Uhh…is anything wrong?

Police Officer: Your car’s fine, come get your papers. Oh, and attempt to fix this rust on the fender, just a suggestion.

Henrik: T-thanks sir? He quickly grabbed all his papers, before leaning onto his car, waiting for the rest to be done. Whew…that was easy.

Police Officer: Now…let’s get to the more…problematic elements on the list? Daniel Tuomalaa? 2005 EDM R300d?

Daniel: Y-yes?

Police Officer: Do you think that we are, perhaps, in the Atlantic Ocean, since your car smokes more than the Lusitania? That exhaust is clearly not original, and you overtook two cars on a double solid line? What should I do with you?

Daniel: Please, sir, you have to understand, I-

Police Officer: You made a mistake, didn’t you? I’m sorry, I can’t let you go this easily. He quickly writes him a ticket. It’s…3000 kr for overtaking in a no overtaking zone. I’m supposed to confiscate your car for the exhaust, but…consider this your lucky day.

Daniel quickly and reluctantly picks up the ticket, letting out a sigh before lighting himself a cigarette.

Police Officer: Now, Kari Järvinen, Samuel Selänne, Mikko Harjanne and Rami Pietilä, go and get your documents, everything is in order.

He then walks towards Akseli and his flatbed truck, looking at the Sedlak Silva loaded onto it.

Police Officer: I…don’t want to know what you’re doing with that Sedlak, Mr. Vanhala, but everything seems in order, here’s your papers.

Akseli: Right…

The officer handed Akseli his papers, before walking back towards Alexandra’s car, and looking at the guy sleeping in the passenger seat.

Alexandra: Should I-…wake him up, sir?

Police Officer: No, that won’t be necessary, Miss Boyd, just…you youngsters stay safe out there, alright?

He would hand her the papers back, before he got back inside his police SUV, and drove away.

Mikko: I hate you guys, with a passion.

Daniel: I’m sorry man, I didn’t see them-

Alexandra: You guys done with the dick measuring contest? Let’s get going, we have a fuckin’ race to do, for fuck’s sake.

Mikko: Lexy’s right, guys, let’s-

Alexandra: And don’t call me Lexy.

The team drove away, it would take them just a few hours, but in the end, they managed to arrive in Höljes, by now it was pretty much completely dark, but for them, the day would not be over. Having just arrived, the 6 modified cars, the campervan and the flatbed ended up finding a free spot for them, and the fun started. Eurodance started being blasted from the speakers, all the squad was drinking beers, smoking and having as much fun as a Finn can, and Jani had finally woken up. Mikko, meanwhile, was grilling more sausages.

Mikko: Anyone want some sausages?

Akseli: Yes, pass me two.

Daniel: Yo! Get some here both for me and for Samuel, okay?

Samuel: Look! Henrik’s doing donuts in the middle of the parking lot!

Henrik: WOOOOOOO!!! BANGING THE LIMITER OF THE EVIG 7000 TURBO

They were partying, they were blasting music, they were having the time of their lives, and now it would also be time to meet the other teams, who knows how it’ll be going for them. However, not everyone of them was partying, there were two people that were alone, talking to each other. I think you know who I’m talking about.

Alexandra: Feel better now, dude?

Jani: I guess? Listen, I’m so sorry for before, I didn’t mean for…that, to happen.

Alexandra: Man, shut up. You’re sayin’ it like it’s your fault, and it’s not Mikko’s fault for being an asshole. I think I’m the only one in here who still thinks about it.

Jani: Thanks for helping me there, really.

Alexandra: Dude, no problem, it’s what everyone else should’ve done.

Kari: Hey I- woah, shit, sorry, didn’t know I was disturbing you two. Alex, can you come help me? My door’s stuck and you’re the only one who can pick locks.

Alexandra: Yeah, sure, sure. Hey, man, give me 5 minutes and I’ll be back, 'kay?

Jani: Alright…

As Alexandra walked away to help Kari, Mikko decided to take the opportunity to come and talk to Jani. He arrived, with his hands in his pockets and a serious expression on his face.

Mikko: Jani.

Jani: Hey, man. You’re excused, by the way, no hard feelings.

Mikko: Trust me man, it’s going to get so much worse if you continue like this with Lexy, you understand me?

Jani: …Sorry, what?

Mikko: She’s mine, MINE, you understand that? I’m not going to let you steal her from me, now that I’m so close to her saying yes.

Jani: Dude, she’s literally-

Mikko: Don’t speak. This is just a warning, you continue like this with her, it’s going to get so much worse for you, understood?

Jani: Alright…

And the story of Jani, Mikko and Akseli stops…for now.

3 Likes

1991 Phoenix Coronet DualEco

8 owners, and many years of service later, this 500,000KM dually has seen some rough times, becoming a budget baja truck at some point, and even a horrific crash in '96.

The crash left the owner dead, and the frame was warped, the box was torn into 2, and it came to an auto wreckers in '97, being a decent deal for $600, with a 2.0 inline 4 that’s built like a tank, the new owner bought the car. Slovak man Marian Hlavek now had a truck and a lot of dreams. Marian had been competing in many races since his birth, setting lap times on the nurburgring, or barely keeping cars alive in endurance races with his ‘granny fixes’, using zipties, ropes, and plastic bags as fanbelts occasionally.

With his master welding skills, he fitted the car with piping and rollcages, 1991 Phoenix Coronet DualEco

8 owners, and many years of service later, this 500,000KM dually has seen some rough times, becoming a budget baja truck at some point, and even a horrific crash in '96.

The crash left the owner dead, and the frame was warped, the box was torn into 2, and it came to an auto wreckers in '97, being a decent deal for $600, with a 2.0 inline 4 that’s built like a tank, the new owner bought the car. Slovak man Marian Hlavek now had a truck and a lot of dreams. Marian had been competing in many races since his birth, setting lap times on the nurburgring, or barely keeping cars alive in endurance races with his ‘granny fixes’, using zipties, ropes, and plastic bags as fanbelts occasionally.

With his master welding skills, he installed a rollcage, along with a crazy amount of piping, and even partially fixing chassis issues, though they still show in handling.


Due to his limited budget, the truck became a hobby for a while, being seen on roads occasionally. As he closed in on finishing the project, he had decided to enter it into Trafikjournalen, as he was passing through Lithuania at the time. Reporters who saw his ‘dream on wheels’ interviewed him on his journey, questioning him on why he bought this hunk of junk.

The car. Was ready.


With his fellow driver, Filip Saganowski, a childhood friend from Poland, they trained in Finland for a few weeks untill the contest started.

Driver Profile
Marian Hlavek
Nationality : Slovak
Age : 42
Skills : Welding, quick fixes, driving.

Driver Profile
Filip Saganowski
Nationality : Polish
Age : 41
Skills : none really tbh

I have linked the .car file and more photos below







24h24_Marian_s_Dream_-_PH__CORONET_ECO.car (69.5 KB)
please check the .car thorougly as i spent most of my time fine tuning it.
hope i win!

4 Likes

More detail on the car, it has been thrashed thoroughly, it has 514,829KM on the clock and counting, along with a few engine rebuilds in its life, helping it to survive, frame has some structural issues, but it has been boxed and still falls within safety regulations today with reinforcements and firm reconstruction from the ground up, the car has been through some rough shit, but somehow it’s alive today. Most parts are original or new old stock, with some being new, like the air cleaner, spark plugs, and others.

2 Likes

Team Vet Inte - Pre-Signup Part 4

It is still rather difficult to enter a car race when the only thing you have is a team name. So after the previously acquired Hawkes Z-Type caught on fire and became unusable, they started looking for another vehicle.

“This thing looks alright” said Martin, pointing at an advert for a 1990 Cago 200 estate. Jonathan came back into the room after a snack. “I think that’s the same one from a week ago.”

They came to a mutual agreement of checking it out. The next day, they bought the car since it was the only thing they were sure worked, and they didn’t want any risks 2 days before the signup deadline.

The automobile in question:


About average condition for something with 25000km on the clock. The Cago 200 was borderline acceptable as a car in the 1970s when it came out. This example is a trusted family car produced in 1990 after numerous facelifts. It was already awful when new, hence the surprisingly low price. Tons of rust underneath - but regular maintenance and careful use make this example clean on the outside, and mechanically still as bad as new. The engine is sluggish, the steering is unreactive and hard at the same time, the chassis flexes, and the interior is unacceptably barren.

With no time or creativity, team Vet Inte entered the car as is.

2 Likes

TEAM: Три Полоски Racing Team
an Archanian team of friends who loves cars in one way or another

Ivan Kovalev, 17y.o.
for several years he was into go-kart racing. last year he also started to participate in dirt track car racing.

Vasiliy Kovalev, 23y.o.
brother of Ivan. works in car workshop. drives a car as daily driver since he matured and got driving license

Dmitry Orlov, 32y.o.
works in car workshop with Vasiliy. have a lot of experience in repairing and tuning cars

CAR: 1980 WAZ Sloboda Estate



it was a working horse car, which was used until engine died. team bought the car for cheap and swapped an engine from more modern model of same maker. they revised it and tuned a bit

car condition:

  • almost new and serviced engine with low mileage
  • worn body, rusted out rocker panels
  • worn out sagging rear springs
  • gearbox’s 5th gear drops out
  • broken driver’s door window lifter
  • dashboard lights doesn’t work aswell as speedo and tachometer
  • tail lights wiring broken
  • trunk’s locking mechanism is broken. should’nt be an issue on estate car, but it was fixed with a strap to roll cage just in case
2 Likes

Car introduction and details.


1980 something Mishuto Ninja
The team found it in a field, the last owner had used it from drag-racing from what we could tell. The body was pretty solid what wasn’t we just bondo-ed up. The gauge cluster showed 348,768 miles. The engine and had been pulled so we went to the scrap yard and found a 1990 something model Ninja with a 1.6L version of the original motor with 244k on the odo so we machined it .030 over at our shop and threw a turbo from a (notta) Jetta. we had an old aluminium spoiler from a Sprint Car so we threw it on there and trailered it to the event. were hoping the factory ECU holds up.

The Team.

W.Vires - The road racer turned full time dad. whos excited to get out of the house for the weekend.
D.Rose - The Petrol head for the wrong reasons. who works way to many hours and wants to life out his fantasy of being a race car driver.
V.Puente - The mechanic. Has lots of experience repairing stuff, and driving shit boxes.
J.Knox - The homie. Likes cars because he gets to hang with the crew limited car knowledge but is down to put in some track time.

Team Presentation.
The Group has talked about making a car for the event for years, this is the year they make happen. Little is known about the group of amigos other than they’re making their rookie year run.

24H24-Phirmeggplant_-_Mishuto_Ninja.car (29.1 KB)

1 Like

Well, its 48h away, so here I go ig (I will be making the driver profiles/my official entry later, this is just so people know who I am)

CEYBAY
1983 ASTRAL T3, I4 CLUB
For sale here is my 1983 Astral T3.


Quite a bit of body rust, but its aluminium so there’s nothing structural I can see. The interior has had a rough life, with a younger version of myself tearing both the driver and passenger seat (now replaced with seat covers)
As its the Club spec, there’s no air conditioning anyway, so it cant break, and it has the drum breaks at the back. At some point a previous owner has fitted a roof rack, and fitted an aftermarket alarm which works sometimes.
The engine (as with most Astral’s) needs some work at this stage in its life. Hasn’t started in 2 years, and the starter doesn’t work, but turns over by hand just fine.
The listing price is £3200, but i will take sensible offers.

Viv: Clara you cant get that one, its over our budget and doesn’t even work.

Clara: No, that’s exactly why I want it. I can just show up and berate the car until they want me gone and I offer them half that.

Viv: There’s no way that would work, and even if it did wed still need to get it working, install a roll cage, do a service, contact the regi…

Clara: Vivian, honey. With all due respect, please for the duration of this challenge, shut up and stop being an economist.

Viv: I am literally the mechanic, you’re not the one who’s gotta work on this pile of rust. It doesn’t even have the V6 in it, its got the same engine as the Pablato from the rally had, only with new cams.

Clara: Well, then you should be familiar with it then…

Viv: In all fairness, the engine was about the only thing that did work on that thing, except the misfires, and the pistons warping, and the starter going meaning I had to hand crank it like a medieval peasant using a tie rod.

Clara: Yes yes, I get the point, but you’ll work through it besides, we have a bigger issue.

Viv: Bigger then not having a car?

Clara: Well, maybe not, but we need another driver.

Viv: What do you mean, I’m your number 2.

Clara: Viv, at the speed you drive we wouldn’t even qualify, we need another driver, and all my karting buddies don’t want to travel abroad to a cold place to race in an unknown rustbucket.

Viv: I mean, there’s always Jamal.

Clara: I don’t think after the last time we raced together he’ll want to join us.

Viv: Wait, you haven’t even asked him?

Clara: Well, no,

Viv: Why the hell not?

Clara: How am i supposed to entice him in if i don’t even have a car to show off?

Viv: Ah, so the car IS the bigger issue.

Clara: Ughh, FINE I guess I am gonna have to do this first…

2 Likes

@Knugcab does “maximum techpool” include the lab costs? because I haven’t in my calculations.

oh and, just so im not confused, this is a ROAD race correct? no off-roading. no rallying, we aren’t going on snow like in the inspiration for this, because if it is im gonna just throw in the towel now, because it wasn’t clear and the entire car just wont work

Team Chitco
Part 0b: Coming there

I guess y'all are owed these

Pictures might not be fully up to date, but difference is merely in minor details



As mentioned, it is going through fair bit of design revision…which is still ongoing.

Snippets from journey

Due to fact Chitco Cargo Company has a garage in Dortmund, team had little bit of prolonged rest in there.
Because this is Germany and Raufoss has car that can go very fast, he was rewarded hefty wait for others not being to go 200+ to catch up (while it probably wasn’t the case in this…case, Thistle can go over 200mph so it works either way. Here we refer to less impressive 124+mph club.)

Kids admired this massive and fast machine. After they were relieved of juices and food (and they ofc promised to behave) they would have opportunity to drive with Raufoss a little bit and unravel in luxury Thistle can provide. Drive was so great even Dennis caused no issue.

Edward had chosen to stay humble and in pickup truck. Mat had been somewhat mystified over this, but had not said anything.
Sora had insisted that Andrea should be followed…twice. Guess how many times she got ignored? Also twice. In neither case Andrea actually does something indicating she intends on leading the team in those particular circumstances.

Later through the journey, we note Pedro received unwanted shower courtesy of Kate and Dennis fighting over something, resulting in lot of juice and water being spilled.

Daniloski complained how entry is likely ending up very uncompetitive compared to some lusty hot hatch waiting at the start line. Andrea agrees on being soaked in “ice bucket challenge” style if such competitor indeed emerges. Sora shows concern over her glorious Emperor likely feeling this conversation and expressing her disapproval. Emperor likely doesn’t give a fuck about such arrangement even if she would hear about it.
Just for reminder, it kinda will look like this:

Edward noted Andrea is in process of recovery. She notes she will likely be fine.

After 5th time of argument, decision was made for Kate and Dennis to be separated by Chicota seating between them with Tom resting from them in front in effort to decrease their bickering.
Chicota is fighting robot specifically made to fight Krta’s forces, which is usually accomplished by killing said opponents.
When you combine this with fact Chicota isn’t exactly most logical choice for handling kids, you think duo would be intimidated.
Nope
Surely he can kill either of them with a punch, but when you couple his general easygoing personality with fact he decides to stay true to himself and still consume beer in this position, he was more seen as goofy uncle (that isn’t actually biologically related) than someone (or something) to fear.
Still, beer-drinking robot has proven to be good physical barrier between troublemakers, very appreciated by front row.
Last row is ofc populated with several beer crates


Group has placed itself on parking lot of supermarket to gather some more supplies.

Chicota went to replenish beer and get some more while being accompanied by junior trio of Broodniks, as they sensed that he would not object to going through sweets aisle and would buy them any food or drink they desire.
Pedro sighed heavily upon their collective return of multiple shopping trolleys which were mostly beer, but also had absurd amount of sweets, toys and various snacks.
Most of these were recommended to go well with beer by Dennis, who just came with excuse on how to make Chicota buy especially massive amount of them.
I don’t think they bought Smoki, puffed corn and peanut flavoured snack shown below among those snacks


but something similar is possible.

Edward, Pi, Pedro and Sora would also take off towards supermarket, but their prey would be different kind of stuff: frozen pastries, canned beans and soup, lot of Fanta, Cola, regular juice and water, fair amount of bread, different kinds of dry meat and some condiments.

Upon fact that whole group is now done, Chicota decides to amaze children by showing sledgehammer he brought. This was bought during one very interesting trip…which was out of this world.

Several closed (and few slammed sliding) doors later, group will be finally on move towards Holjesbanan.
Raufoss, peculiarly, takes his sweet time following rest of the group

We had arrived

No time was wasted when Kontir and Bricksley arrived into parking lot.

Michaela was one of people responsible for unloading content of flatbed trailer (Cauchy) and would look to prepare her main working area (pits) along with Tom, who volunteered into assistance.
After that is done, she will look at competition in order to see if they have something that would warrant her giving Andrea an icy shower.

Chicota tried to persuade any other member that seemed able to haul beer crate into hauling some in pits so he could get some drink buddies at start, with varying success.

Kate and Dennis so far seem to unite in hauling some sweets. He also tries to find potential prank targets.

Mat is heading towards Trafikjournalen team, both to sort out boring stuff about team participating and “impress” them with his self-taught Swedish. Still is unknown how Trafikjournalen arrives on what definitely is not-Earth in not-Sun’s solar system, but we saw wilder stuff.

Edward is first driver and therefore is preparing appropriately

Pedro is sorting out parking space for Thistle: Raufoss insisted that he shall park on relatively good patch of whatever parking provides as surface and would also prefer not to be bumped into for reasons of “it’s kinda pricey car” nature.
He will then repark other two cars (with respective trailers still attached) around Thistle.

Andrea and Pi are trying to reconnect with Angel (Y.E.A.R.) and Chanty (Rhino Squad).
While camping trailer towed behind Bricksley started this journey in state of absolute chaos…and still is in state of absolute chaos, it likely will also be avaiable to those two teams should they find need for toilet, somewhere to cook or rest due to establishment of very close relations during last Shitbox Rally.
Pardon potentially sub-par graphics, but this is interior of trailer in question. Video shows it connected to Bricksley, which is accurate here as well. Ofc, it’s lot messier than shown in video.

Raufoss, as mentioned, will arrive later and park on space Pedro prepared. He is giving instructions to Pedro regarding parking.

Result is somewhat similar to what I sketched below, where ass of Bricksley and Thistle is in direction of rest of the parking. Which means that in case someone accidentally bumps into supporters, they will bump Camper trailer (CT) instead of Thistle. It’s very likely that:

  • fronts of Bricksley and Thistle

and

  • back of Kontir (and therefore entire flatbed trailer (FT))

are not technically on designated parking spaces

Reason for that ofc is partially length of Kontir and Thistle and partially fact that, otherwise, camper trailer would be obstructing part of space intended for cars and people to pass.

3 Likes

It is held on the Höljes track since it is the only suitable track I know that is available for the game and is also Swedish, basically a rallycross course with tarmac and gravel, the original event were held at different places on different surfaces but that doesn’t matter now, Höljes is where this stays, and not at snow.

For techpool, check out the “total costs” tab, that’s the only interesting one here.

ok, so it is a rally. with gravel, which I was not explicitly told at any point, after making the entire car, and basing it on a track vehicle, not a truck or 4x4…
Its SbxRally all over again…
Atleast tell me that my time wont be effected by a low ground clearance/offroad-ability/utility & rwd. I suspect i know the answer anyway, but i dont want to put in any more time to this car, just to have it finish poorly like last time…