Bingo, that’s it.
CSR inter-round trivia 3.
Both the neighbor at the beginning of the narrative, and the interrption at the end of the story are references to this band.
Hint: A lyric from each song is near their introduction.
The neighbor is named Stuart, after the song of the same title. The big lizard is also a self titled song.
Both are by The Dead Milkmen.
CSR inter-round trivia 4.
Linda is employed in what industry?
Hint: I am not looking for the company name, but the type of business.
Close enough, the technical term is pyramid scheme.
3 Likes
ROUND 2
Article Review
The following Friday as the day drew into the evening, Andrew was joined once again by his favorite neighbor, Stuart. Both having spent the week gathering a more refined list of appropriate cars, the two sit down to research available options before committing to a test drive.
“Stuart, I feel like we’re gettin’ close,'' Andrew began, rummaging for a Percocet, “and a good thing too. We can’t be at this too long, my daughters graduation starts at 7 tonight.”
“Nothing but a short list now man,” Stuart replied, cracking the first Busch out of the case, “should be able to breeze through this in an hour, or so. You wanna’ start your list or mine?”
“Start us up,” Andrew answered over the modem's dialing tones. Stuart rummaged for his scratch pad, recommending they save time on searching by checking all of the cars on the website for Clutch & Wheel magazine.
Northstar Transatlantic
...The real standout of the Transatlantic is the undeniable style ripped from the roaring 20’s, and apportioned with anything you expect in a top tier luxury car. The driver is enveloped in leather, and surrounded by kit and convenience. The construction, inside and out, also shows an incredible quality and attention to detail...
...Where the Transatlantic experience falters however is the driving experience. Great care was placed in the silky smooth 3.8L inline 6, boosted to a surprising output of 330hp. This provides a very brisk 0-60 time of 5.7s, but this is where the praise must end. The quest for horsepower has produced a remarkably narrow powerband reminiscent of an amazingly quiet diesel. Pressing this engine into the higher RPM band in search of spirited driving is met by a long and steep decline in power, begging the question why the rev limiter is so generous? Once speed has been found, the active suspension eats corners, but the driver should be aware of the brakes if desiring a lower speed. The brakes are noticeably grabby, and the car can get sketchy despite the bespoke tires...
“Dang, man,” Stuart replied after the article, “that looked like a winner, but some weird hoodoo grabbed hole’ of that one.”
“I guess that's how they made something that out there for such a low price.” Andrew replied dismissively.
This car is truly incredible. On the one hand, the exterior design is in a league of its own, I say neutrally. On the other hand the engine tuning, and performance is bizarre, bordering on baffling. How you managed the lowest environmental resistance (of the finalists) with a +4 body slider is impressive. Also, mat1476 and I agree that the design is between exuberant, and excessive.
@Kyorg & @karhgath does not get a test drive.
Mons Ghimli
...A sleek and competent coupe with an Asian import aesthetic, the Ghimli sports a well apportioned interior offering a near perfect blend of pampering, and provision to the driver, and passengers alike. The driving experience is also very predictable, if only lacking some enthusiasm. The engine produces a soft purr like rumble delivering almost 240 horsepower coupled to the front wheels. The electronic steering eats up the torque steer for a supple steering feel, while the adaptive dampers provide a subtle float along the road...
“That thang sounds like a dream to drive,” Stuart replied as much to Andrew as the article, “Hell, it’s worth a test drive just to see if they are talking it up.”
“Sounds like a trip to the Mons dealer next week,” Andrew replied.
“Next week?” Stuart asked. “Don’t tell me you took time off for car shopping?”
Andrew replied, “No, I got a meeting with my lawyer about payment dispersal, and an appointment with my pain specialist for prescription refills. Figured I would make a week of it, get the new car, and get the ball rolling on the house.”
A remarkably consistent build, both in overall build tone and consistency with the era. Has a very premium feel.
@cake_ape gets a test drive.
RCM Raven
...a direct revival of the name last seen in the golden age of road trips, the Raven preserves not only the RWD of its namesake, but many enduring style cues that don’t feel out of place in a modern coupe. The power convertible top, and above average provisions give the car a prestigious flair, and the comfort to complement...
...the driving experience is incredibly modern with the V8 producing a wide, and mostly flat torque curve coupled to a smooth shifting automatic. Add to that phenomenal brake balance, and a well applied electronics control package…
“Sounds like we got another winner here.” Stuart remarked.
“Don’t be too sure,” Andrew replied, “Says here it has a 4.8L in it, but that looks like a little car. Let me see if they have pictures under the hood.” Andrew rummaged through the pictures posted, and eventually found one showcasing the engine cover. “Yep, that’s what I thought. Look how tight that is in there. Got brackets, and guides for hoses, and wires everywhere. That’s a 4 hour alternator job right there.”
The handling is remarkable in this, despite the small, and somewhat irrelevant sport fade. Very competitive in the final rounds. This was unfortunately one of 2 finalists with an engine fill warning (yellow).
@thecarlover does not get a test drive.
Mauntley Casper
…the Casper evokes all the pony car vibes a driver could be looking for, but packed with all the comfort and prestige that will fit under its power folding top. Unfortunately the looks is where the pony car has to end. While the AWD system provides an incredibly balanced handling experience, the grip it may have provided feels out of range when behind the wheel. The turbocharged 3.2L V6 makes the power of a mild V8, but the engine still struggles to power all the wheels in any spirited way. A liberal application of throttle is answered with a laborious bog, and a vintage 8.5s 0-60 time. Once speeds are achieved the grip is betrayed by bouncy suspension and the grabby brakes. At first this suggests ample stopping power, but this illusion is broken in only a few corners due to the remarkably small 3 piston brake disks...
“All show, and no go.” Stuart remarked.
“I know where it can go.” Andrew replied, closing the article.
You actually made the Mercury Mustang, that in itself is glorious. That being said, 8” brakes, and staggered tires? This car earns 2 kinds of laughs, and I don’t mean that in a bad way, I enjoyed scoring this one and finding its secrets.
@desperatedonut5 will not get a test drive.
MAD Corsair GTE
...MAD brings us the Corsair in the GTE spec combining an upscale interior with 4 bucket seats, and a selection of convenience into a notably comfortable ride. This is combined with a sporty 6.3L V8 providing 300 horsepower to a sports inspired close ratio transmission. The performance balances beautifully with the interior producing THE muscle car for the mature driver...
“Now that’s what I’m talking about,” Andrew said aloud, ”classy and classic with the grunt to back it up. Time to see what MAD brings to the table.”
Remarkably unremarkable. There is nothing actually wrong with this vehicle, it just scores well across the board.
@abg7 gets a test drive.
Cabrera Centella
...The Centella is built like a European roadster sporting a potent inline 6, and fully independent suspension. However a cursory glance would suggest you have found an original Stingray. The power folding hard top, and seemingly hand crafted interior stand as a reminder of automotive progress in this classic gem look alike…
...the driving performance is a bit of a mixed bag. The 0-60 time is respectable, but the top speed is let down by the aging 4 speed automatic. Cornering grip is higher than expected, but the suspension is almost too soft to take advantage of it. Fuel economy is more than respectable for a sports car, but this certainly due to the relatively low power output. This is hardly a loss due to the small size of the car not needing the grunt, and growl of a V8...
“Classy, and classic,” Stuart began, “Like you wanted.”
“Yeah…” Andrew began, “but it’s a strange one aint it? Look at all that leather, and wood. Hand stitching, deep padding, and all the electric adjustments, but it is sitting next to a radio out of a Pontiac van.”
“I see what you mean, man,” Stuart replied, “How do you have a limited slip, but cheap out on the transmission? Plus that’s the same brand of tires I got on my pickup. How do you have brass instruments, and bargain mart wheels?”
A +7 standard cassette? Variable steering, but no traction control? This thing is dancing on the min/max line, and that produces some general weirdness. The competition is tight enough I need to drop it for this.
@Petakabras does not get a test drive.
BSC Z2000
...at first glance the Z2000 evokes memories of an Astin Martin, and this car is a reasonable alternative if you don’t need to pay for the badge. The interior sports several options with a clear focus on driver entertainment, and the design overall looks classically exotic. Some features may feel lacking for those that have driven the original…
...behind the wheel BSC strikes a functional balance between its ersatz luxury interior, and GT inspired power plant. Stuffed into the heart of this roadster is a 5.0L V8 with a familiar, if not distant rumble, delivering respectable power to the rear wheels. The result is a 0-60 under 6 seconds, and a balanced, if not slightly light rebound with predictable oversteer...
“I don’t know man,” Stuart began, “seems like a good enough if you don’t know better kind of car.”
“I have to agree with you there,” Andrew replied, “one of them 10 feet away cars”
An ambitious entry clearly hampered by the budget. I’d like to see the $60k version of these where fewer compromises had to be made.
@mart1n2005 does not get a test drive.
Ibis Coyote GT8
...where the Coyote really stands out is by bringing the ute craze to the Americas. For those of you who don’t remember, a ute is a sedan that sacrificed the rear doors, and morphed the trunk into a full pickup bed. Last seen here in the Ranchero, and El Camino, these cars come in an array of options down under. Ibis does not disappoint the car owner with an upscale interior, complete with options, and showing a great attention to detail…
...where Coyote the trickster comes out is when the vehicle remembers it has to be a truck too. Empty, the brakes are aggressive when biting in reminding us of the generous tonne payload. This is more pronounced in the rear axle, prompting an ABS event under moderate braking. Likewise the dampers are more reluctant to move, and produce some unpleasantness when driven as a car. Finally, the steering rate is fixed, giving the entire driving experience an “on the rails” feeling of abruptness...
“Sounds too much like a pickup to me,” Andrew remarked, “Don’t need all that.”
The 5/4 ton payload, and required suspension tuning to that end really knee capped this entry. Big points for uniqueness, but some of the design choices felt more confused than hybridized.
@nightwave does not get a test drive.
Lombaxo Coupe
...a bold and authoritative exterior meets a surprising interior with a racing inspired construction…
...but where Lombaxo really shines is out on the road. The engine sounds tuned up from the factory producing a noticeable clatter, and the exhaust makes no secret of the turbocharger. All that power is sent to the wide rear wheels laying down an impressive acceleration time for the bulky sedan. Meanwhile the electronic suspension keeps the car well in control during the twisty bits of the drive...
“Stuart,” Andrew asked, “where did you hear about this thing?”
“Cops,” Stuart answered, “seems like every episode in Los Santos has one of these either stolen, or gettin’ chased for somethin’ else.”
“This is clearly a performance model,” Andrew answered, “staggered tires, basic interior, big motor and brakes. This aint it, man.”
Too much focus on show and go, with comparatively little aptitude for enjoying a relaxing drive.
@TheYugo45GV is binned
Reduit SR1
...perhaps the most stylish car on the road today, the SR1 is unmistakable from any angle, and captures the most elite feel from the days of handcrafted motor cars…
...where the SR1 goes too far in its remembrance of early cars is when you take it for a drive. Despite the best efforts of the electronic controls a vigorous standing start will result in severe intervention from the traction controls. This may be helped by some stickier tires, but that would only aggravate the already harsh braking. Add to this a strong oversteer, and soggy suspension and this car feels near the edge even at highway speeds...
“Sounds like a car that wants a fight,” Stuart remarked.
“I spend too much time wrestling under the hood,” Andrew replied, “I don’t need to pick a fight with the steering wheel too.”
This is my (mcp928) favorite design, but it is objectively a death trap.
@kobacrashi does not get a test drive.
Watson Ariesa
...Ariesa brings all of the muscle car vibe you could ask for, but doesn't cut any corners with the premium equipment. Four deep leather buckets cushion all occupants while the radio provides an impressive array of playback in near studio quality…
...Ariesa is no slouch when it’s time to play either. While an aggressive standing start results in a mild squeal, the traction control quickly tames the power for a 6.5s 0-60 time. The suspension always maintains a cushioned feel, but not to the detriment of handling. The only mark against the car is the brakes feel grabby, especially compared to the rest of the driving experience...
“That one checks every box.” Stuart declared.
“Including one it shouldn’t have,” Andrew replied reading the technical section, “The biggest complaint is how fast it goes through tires. First gear has almost no grip, and what’s more you can’t help them last with rotation. Those are some high dollar tires too, and look like directional tread. You would have to get them remounted to rotate sides.”
This design gets top marks from mat1476, and scores extremely well stats wise. Unfortunately the judging needs to be critical in the 11th hour, and the staggered +4 tires sink it. It’s also just over budget.
@Arn38fr does not get a test drive.
Durendal R2-C
…Durendal has brought us the quintessential roaster with the R2, and the addition of the soft top R2-C is a welcome evolution. The interior is second to none in the segment, even if the radio is more typical…
...the drive lives up to look, and even surpasses what you might expect from a luxury roadster. The smooth, quiet inline 6 delivers enough power through a very modern transmission to propel the little roadster from a standing start to 60 in just over 6 seconds. The brakes feel very capable, with no signs of fade or bias. Likewise the suspension, while light, is confident and predictable without any of the electronic wizardry common in this segment to change the deal mid corner…
“Do we got a winner?” Stuart asked.
“I believe so,” Andrew replied.
Almost everything about this car meshes together perfectly while still managing to stand out.
@GassTiresandOil gets a test drive
“What’s that leave us,” Stuart asked.
“Uhhh,” Andrew scrolled down the list, “looks like three. Less than I thought, but it’ll save me time talking to car salesmen. I gotta get on the road man, appreciate your help, Stuart.”
“You let me know what you pick,” Stuart answered, “This gon’ be one hell of a car.” As Stuart left for the evening Andrew finished his second beer, and changed into his best jacket, a teal pinstripe blazer with complementing boot cut trousers complete with penny loafers and a bolo. He was sure to make the scene at his youngests’ highschool, and more importantly show up Lindas new boyfriend.
Top Finalists (test drive)
@cake_ape
@GassTiresandOil
@abg7
Next post (test drive) will reveal the positions.
10 Likes
Oof. Looks like the Coupe is out of the running. Just as I had expected. Did not really intend for it to win as it is a muscle car that is focused on performance and less on other things. Also, @mcp928 @mat1476 it would be cool if you had Andrew see the cars that did he did not choose to test drive at the dealerships he went to test drive the winners.
I want to do an epilogue with something to that effect, but that will depend on how jacked up my week gets. Right now top focus is getting the finals written so the winner can be announced.
Not what I was expecting for sure - and high praise indeed for what was only meant to be an affordable pony car! 300 horsepower may not sound like a lot these days, but in 2002, it would have definitely been something to talk about. It would also have split the difference between the contemporary fourth-gen Camaro Z28 SS and New Edge Mustang GT - and only the latter would carry on into 2003.
That engine, by the way, is in a mild state of tune; I made a more powerful version with over 400 horsepower, but it drinks premium unleaded at a furious rate (and costs more to service on top of that), whereas the variant I submitted only needs regular gas - and less of it to boot.
And regarding hosting duties for the next round: If no other finalists are able to do so, I will happily take over the reins for CSR 137 - I already have a few ideas for a theme in that case. But regardless of the final outcome, I’m just glad to be a finalist and walk away with a much-needed podium finish.
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Whoa! No matter what happens, this is officially already the highest I’ve ever scored in an CSR. Good luck to the other two finalists! 
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It’s a deserved finalist placement! The car is clean and it certainly feels like it’s fit for a younger person than my car did xD
300 bhp got you a long way with muscle cars back then, and the fact alone that you got it to run on regular already elevates you compared to the premium-guzzling Camaro.
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Same for me! Top 3 is the highest I’ve ever scored, but I have to thank @Ryan93 for his consult in convincing me to go with an inline 6. Otherwise, I probably would’ve been binned for clearance issues.
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You are right. On top of that, neither the aforementioned Camaro Z28 nor the '02 Mustang GT had an independent rear suspension, much less a multi-link set-up, which the '02 Corsair has - and the Corsair also has a double-wishbone front suspension for good measure. With all that advanced running gear, the Corsair could easily have been the best-handling pony or muscle car on sale in America at the time, and I made sure of that.
As another reference point, a Series 1 Holden Monaro V2 CV8 of the same vintage (and by extension, the VX Series II Commodore SS on which it was based) also made 300 horsepower, albeit with 0.6 liters less displacement, and if I am not mistaken, on regular unleaded, just like the Corsair. However, the Monaro had a less sophisticated suspension setup (strut front/semi-trailing arm rear). Then again, the Monaro didn’t launch in the American market until late 2003 (as an '04 model, under the Pontiac GTO nameplate)… Whereupon it promptly flopped, and was discontinued after just two years and a half - but that’s a story for another place and time.
Even so, to combine a 300-bhp OHV V8 with 91 RON compatibility and then slot it into a chassis with a similar suspension setup to a Euro premium/luxury sedan, while still having leftover room in the budget (both in terms of PU/ET and approximate cost after adding a gas-guzzler tax to the latter) for a premium interior and stereo, plus high-performance tires and a Torsen (geared) LSD, is an astounding achievement, especially considering the quality of the opposition I came up against.
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I actually just bought a Holden last November. 13 Chevrolet Caprice. Car is way more fun than I need, just wish it was a manual, but I have an old Jeep for that.
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good luck to the finalists!
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hey, no problem. You build the engine/car, so congratulations you made a good job. Dont thx me, you made it by yourself into the finals. Good Job!
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I feared that I would suffer such a fate early on, considering how much space was required to fit my engine in - as it turned out, it didn’t take up so much space that the service costs went through the roof.
Speaking of engines, with the mild cam profile it’s running, it also makes around 350 foot-pounds of torque low down in the rev range, which might explain why it was so fast off the mark (0 to 60 mph in ~5.5 seconds) - perfect for those impromptu stoplight drag races. And I achieved all this with two reverse-flow mufflers installed for added comfort.
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Well, looks like we have a slightly slower V6 luxe cruiser, a more powerful V8 premium muscle, and a peppy little I6 roadster. It’s great to see the variety of this line-up! I’ve loved the write-up so far and can’t wait to see how Andrew will make his choice (and what drugs he’ll be on while doing so).
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Thank you. I had to get slightly contrived to get his last prescription into the narrative, but the 4 drugs make the chorus of a song which might make it the longest running joke in the story. I tried to squeeze in a line about Stuart meeting his fiend, and Ramon at the Cinnabon about some window panes, but 1, it seemed like too much, and 2 I couldn’t work it into the dialogue organically. Mostly the first one, Andrew is the victim of big pharma burying research. Didn’t want to trivialize that.
Come on, don’t do the car like that. Bit of unfair judgement. lmao. Also, why Los Santos? Aren’t we in the real world?