Sad that this put my brochure in the recycling , I thought it may have given my car a boost but oh well. Great reviews anyway looking forward to the next set 
Oh yeah, centauri made the drawer list.
It seems like I skewed my entry too far towards sportiness and forgot about comfort and prestige to an extent. But anyway, I can see a pecking order developing among the cars which havenāt been eliminated yet. And those reviews are the best Iāve seen from anyone, myself included, so far!
Great work so far these reviews were a real treat. Thoroughly enjoyable with the perfect balance of fun and info along with a terrifying glimpse into the horrors of corporate life 
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Pretty darn accurate, I tried to get more sport into it but couldnāt seem to get there with the fuel economy, cost, and comfort which I thought were more important. And DMAās styling is always just a little off.
would appear iām out of the running already, i knew it was a bad idea to try to take the cheap approach lol
i mean, my car WOULD have the same look as all the others, if this wasnāt the oldest car to look like this.
the other one with this setup is from 2012, but it do concede itās a touch on the bland side.
My decision to take the Astonish upmarket has failed me.
I think heās referring to you using the same lower Volvo grille on all your cars John 
plus the fact that said grille is way too modern for the time
This sums up my entry rather nicely, I was gambling for the chance at being a left-field entry and fumbled!
Now I have time to make popcorn for the next wall of text! 
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Awesome writing!
Looking forward for part 2!
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Awesome right up, awaiting the next part 
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Yes, it was 2573cc engine so I rounded up to 2.6L - besides, which sounds better, āmy car has a 2.5 litreā or āmy car has a 2.6 litreā¦ oh yeahā¦ā? 
Joking aside, Iāve just realized I may have named my car without double-checking, the code AM means that the car has to have a wheelbase less than or equal to 2.6m, which Iām not sure this car is.
Fuck.
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For what I know, if you approximate 2,573cc to L you would have 2.6L, you can see it in a lot of real engines.
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So anyway, time for my full stats dump.
(yes, thatās turbocharged
)
Hopefully itāll get some of you squirming 
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You need better glasses, Ram. (As per your stat dump).
Also, I need to ask for one extra day. Despite doing 23 of the reviews before the deadline, that still left me with 20 to do. Yesterday, I managed to do 11 of them, but I had the entire afternoon free, which I didnāt today. I donāt see myself writing more than 5 reviews today, meaning Iāll need tomorrow to finish this first step and wednesday to do the review on the best cars. Is that good by everyone?
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ah pardon me, I built 5 different entries and one of them did have a 2573cc engine, so I think I did a double goof in the naming of this car 
Yeah lol I fukt up big time, the car should actually be called EM250
No objection.
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Here are the 11 reviews I wrote yesterday. More tomorrow.
After a lovely packed lunch, that he enjoyed by himself next to the sculpture on the central plaza of the office complex, he came back, made himself some tea and cracked on with the brochures. First, the Sei Executive. Funny sounding company name there, quite Scandinavian. And having the car called the Executive massages the ego of our manager, certainly suits his aspirations and desires. The looks are elegantly understated, as is the nice shade of grey-ish blue. Sadly the classy looks arenāt completed by the wheels, which are miserable 15ā steelies. Inside there are leather seats, a simple CD player and just one airbag. Under the bonnet, a 2.3 V6 engine with just 140 hp and a 5-speed automatic gearbox. 8.6 seconds to 62 is decent enough, whereas the 48 mpg is remarkable. This car is perfectly capable and perfectly boring because of it. It sure is good, but it also is very forgettable.
Onwards to the Scarab Nova S. And what a bad name that is. āWhat do you drive these days, sir?ā āI drive a Scarabā āA scab? Ewā. Oh, the glamour. The car itself is quite elegant, with slashes of chrome dotted around the place. Nothing outstanding, but at least it isnāt as dull as the Sei, for example. The car has a turbocharged 2.5 V6, yet it only manages 159 hp and 34 mpg. Such bad numbers combined mean this car hasnāt got a chance, especially among such great competition. Bin.
One of the best-known rivals is the Rennen Angeles, here in its brand-new generation. The Angeles is a typical American midsize sedan, as the Americans call saloons. And as such, it is very plain, not aggressive at all on the eye. Elegant and understated, in a nice shade of grey-ish blue. Much like the Sei above it, this is also quite forgettable outside. Inside, the nicest looking interior so far, still made of leather, but with elegant lashings of chrome around the place. The radio is quite simple too, without some functions some of the cars had, but the speakers are provided by Bose, meaning a crisper sound is to be expected. In terms of safety, the crash results tell this car has a very rigid and safe passenger compartment, yet the passenger airbag is an extra, whereas traction control and ESP are standard items. Yet, despite those nanny items, the car should be good fun to drive, coming with a 6-speed manual gearbox, RWD and double wishbone suspension. The 2.8 V6 engine delivers 191 hp, meaning 0-62 in 7.4 seconds. Sounds like quite a Q-car, boring and discreet outside, yet fun to drive and quite quick. It stays.
Next, the Beta Osmosis. Promising car this one. It looks really good outside, with hints of chrome in the right places. The engine is a turbocharged 1.7 inline-4 unit, pushing a healthy 209 hp. Yet fuel economy wasnāt so bad, at almost 40 mpg. The car is RWD, has a 6-speed manual, multilink suspension on the rear. It really looked promising, until our manager caught the mentions about active sway bars. And then his niggles on fancy electrons controlling things (and breaking) came back once again. With great regret for what could have been, it goes to the bin.
It was shortly followed by the DMV Downdraft. Yet again, we have an awful name on this car. The styling is certainly not bad, however it seems to have been thought only with the American market in mind, since there doesnāt seem to be enough space to accommodate European sized plates. The Downdraft gets kicked out for its subpar interior quality, even worse than a budged supermini like a Baltazar Quark or a Znopresk Zap, and miserable 34 mpg fuel eco, unjustifiable, when there is just 178 hp on tap from a 2.5 V6.
As he was looking at the brochure of the Pragata Kana, yet another interruption. This time it was the intern. Obviously, he complained about the 55 hp hatchback amidst the proper cars. He proceeded to apologise and in his hurry, he took the Kanaās brochure too, āThis is a vehicle for hearse conversions, certainly looks like itā.
Now to a serious contender. The bavarians at BAM, at the cornerstone of their brand, the car from which all other BAM vehicles would be measured up. The Bavaria 628 certainly is one of the cars, if not the car to be beaten on this competition. The engine is certainly up there, a 2.8 inline 6 with 24-valves and 161 hp. Power goes to the right place too, the rear, via a sleek 5-speed automatic gearbox. The numbers are adequate, 41.7 mpg and 9.2 seconds to 62 mph. The car is not cheap, but then, itās a very good all-rounder. Outside, things start to fall apart. This car hasnāt got the traditional german class that BAMs usually have. The front is somewhat aggressive, but certainly not elegant, and the rear is a bit too fat, however, the side profile was very nicely judged. Sadly, what made this brochure end on the bin was the semi-active sway bars and adaptive dampers. Two sets of electrons for our Tory voter to be concerned with. He thought that electronics were like the Labour party, and would go on strike at any time, costing him time and money.
The next car probably went through 3 strikes even before leaving the assembly line. The british-made Penistone Seventy-Five has all the weight of shoddy british workmanship to carry around. Weight that will be alleviated once the rear doors fall off anyway. However, it seems the british might have built this car properly. First, they seem to have cared about rust proofing by making the entire car out of corrosion resistant steel. Second, they have used a very refined multilink set-up on the rear suspension. Thirdly, the interior is also very refined, with the best quality upholstery so far and some wood accents here and there lifting the feel of luxury further, even Clarkson praised it on the telly. Lastly, the engine is a proper gem. A V6 with just 2 litres make this car refined and comfortable. But thatās where the good news end. The engine, despite being interesting and smooth, is neither fast or frugal. 0-62 takes a rather long 9.9 seconds and combined fuel economy is just 34.8 mpg. The car also hasnāt got any kind of electronic nannies other than ABS. Yet, it also comes with the fangled semi-active suspension. Now, the british canāt even run their trains on time, let alone some kind of electronic suspension. Roger probably would forget to attach all the plugs in the right places, and in no time the leather smell inside the car would turn into burnt wiring smoke.
By now, our middle manager had realised he would need a bigger bin to accommodate all the flyers. Of course, he only noted this by the soft noise the Penistoneās one did when it landed on his carpet floor. Come to think of it, the last 5 or 6 throws hadnāt gotten much noise. When he stood to look, they were all over the floor. Time for a quick clean up and another cup of tea.
When he came back, he looked at the Maesima NV-997. And what a great looking poster it was, by far the best photography weāve seen so far. The car looks poised, aggressive, yet beautifully elegant and detailed, if not a bit too square for the late nineties. Underneath, 2.6 V6 with 24 valves, producing 152 hp, powered the front wheels through a 4-speed automatic. The old-fashioned powertrain meant economy wasnāt great, at 38.7 mpg, and acceleration was just acceptable, at 8.9s. Inside, the same affair as many of the other rivals, leather seats, a 2-speaker and CD sound system and a single airbag. Pretty photos arenāt enough to turn an average car into a contender. And for that reason, it is out.
The next car doesnāt even have a proper name. The 1997 Caravel is named after the Portuguese sailing ships that helped them during the 15th and 16th century explorations of the ocean, that culminated in their arrivals in Brazil, Angola and Macau. This car hasnāt done any of that. What it has done is look good. Sure, pop-up lights are a bit old-fashioned by now, but they certainly look cool and help this car look sleek and elegant. The rear is a bit bland, but it finishes off the design well enough. Inside, the Caravel is a bit of a mixed bag. The dashboard uses hard plastics, while the seats are cloth, rather than leather and there is only one airbag. However, the stereo is a high-end 4-speaker unit. The mechanicals are also weird. The suspension has double wishbones all around, but the power is fed to the front wheels via a 5-speed automatic gearbox. If there was any power to be fed, that is. The engine is a naturally aspirated 1.3 unit, with a miserable 109 hp. Sure, it gets 47 mpg, but 0-62 takes over 10 seconds. Too many weird design choices send this car to the bin.
Talking about weirdness, the Smooth Jabardo. Once again, such a weird name, Jabardo, was slapped on the tail of a car. Whatās also weird, this time weirdly modern, is the design of this car. It pulls off that look pretty well, especially at the rear, with the C-shaped tail lights. Underneath, a 3.1 litre straight-6 engine making just 170 hp propels the rear wheels via a 6-speed manual gearbox. That, together with the all wishbone suspension, shows the intent of this car as a driverās car. However, it still has the same amenities as most of its rivals, with leather seats, a CD system with 2-speakers and a driverās airbag. Despite the aluminium panels, fuel economy is just 37.5 mpg, but, because of the aluminium panels, 0-62 takes just 6.9 seconds. That, once again, managed to put a smile on the managerās face. It stays.
Time to go home it seems. Finally, he can loosen his belt, take out his tweed jacket. Now to a dash down the motorway, then some 10-miles of B-road driving until he could get to his town. Hopefully, that would be the last time he did that journey without having settled on a new car. Inside his dark-green rep-mobile, he smelled the pungent scent of acrid shoes and bits of chocolate bars. In a month, that would be replaced by the smell of leather. The dreams.
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The engine is tiny, thatās probably the biggest weight saving in the car. I was quite surprised to see so many heavy 2000+cc engines in this round, considering the brief. Granted, some of those were tuned for economy in the 120-150hp range and youāll get more torque more easily with displacement, so I do see the flipside.
The output from the Gnooās little 1.5 six is about 130hp and acceleration 10.1 seconds 0-100km/h. That makes it faster than a 1998 BMW 318i and a fair bit slower than the 320i. The Gnoo is a good deal more economical than both of them though. Considering that BMW is a sporty brand and Gnoo is a comfortable, fuel economy conscious brand, that seemed like a good balance. Iāve since dropped a 1.8l turbo six into the chassis which uses marginally less fuel than the 130hp NA and handily beats the 320i off the line, at a cost of a few points of drivability. That came in a touch over the budget of this challenge, though, since I allowed myself more resources.
I was heavily tempted to enter, to paraphrase Sillyworld, āa 672hp budget commuter carā, but was able to refrain.
That seems very fair.
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