We’re definitely looking at the same car, right?
I think so
Yeah, it’s ugly, but in an endearing sort of way, like a Suzuki X-90. Not offensive ugly like a Multipla or a Rodius.
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Behold, The most anticipated Crossover SUV of 2017, The Shromet Appalachian!
To the passerby, it would appear that this is just a Radiant. But no, it says Crossover right in the title there! Instantly transforming the entire nature of the car!
For starters, a protective plate was placed on the front of the bumper, and off road Sway bars fitted for all the adventures we know you will take in this car. From the parking lot of a sporting goods store, to your friend’s steep driveway. The Shromet Appalachian is prepared to handle the toughest of offroad obstacles!
This vehicle is also much longer than a Radiant, perfectly practical for- Wagon? Didn’t we already tell you? It says Crossover right there! Besides, It could not possibly be a simple wagon with such an outdoorsy sounding name as “Appalachian”!
The Shromet Appalachian really does do it all. From getting 41MPG, to seating 5 Comfortably. It is truly the only choice for the everyday adventurer.
Well equipped for $22,680 *
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<— Thats ugly
My company lore focuses on utility off road, which yes includes SUV’s and crossovers… because you can still have a properly capable crossover.
Even though I personally owned one for a couple of years and got to hate it, now we have an F-150 4x4 with a V8.
You do realize there’s shades of Envy Turbo Coupe in that front end? Just a hint of it, but it’s far from awful. The rest of the car, however, is about as pretty as a pimple.
Anyway, time for me to break out the heavy duty gloves, put on the haz-mat suit, and pop the top on this can of Dynamite Motors whoop-ass.
So, you need a crossover, one that’s comfortable, decent off-road, and not too expensive? You’re also concerned about gas mileage, so you’d prefer better than 25 MPG.
Dynamite Motors may have something for you. We call it the D6, and it’s unlike any other 2017 car.
You see, we went old-school with this beast. Sure, we could have used Direct Fuel Injection like literally every other car company these days, but we’re a different car company.
First, let’s talk about interior for a moment. 5 premium leather seats, a standard infotainment package, and standard safety all make sure you’re comfortable. You say you can’t afford a premium crossover, we say you can. Sure, we had to decide whether to premium your butt or your ears, but we figured the leather seats, steering wheel, and aluminum shift paddles would improve the experience more than just some good speakers.
So, the transmission… It’s a 6 speed single-clutch sequential box, something nice and simple and reliable. It has an automatic mode where the computer shifts for you, but we recommend using the paddles for the best driving experience. You said you occasionally did offroad driving, so we fitted the AWD system with viscous limited slip differentials. They’re not as good as a locking diff, but they are just perfectly fine for making shortcuts out of parking lots, driving through your neighbor’s lawn, and handling that once-or-twice through the park when you’re running late to work.
Under the hood, we used nearly 50 years worth of car building experience to build a beautiful Inline 6 engine, constructed from AlSi. You’ll find it’s a modern pushrod engine, because we’re American, and because we believe this is the right choice for controlling your explosions. On the exhaust side of the engine, you’ll find a rather small turbocharger, optimized for economy. The power figures reflect this with a mighty 169 horsepower, with 209 ft-lb of torque. She’ll redline at 6000 RPM, and the engine has VVT for better fuel efficiency and power. Now, undoubtedly, you’ll have noticed the intercooler, a nice large Air-to-Air system. Leaves you some room for modification if that’s your thing, and keeps engine costs down. The turbo is a ball-bearing job, because while we like doing things cheap, we also do things right.
But I know what you’re thinking. “That’s cool and all, but why do you say you’re different if you’re offering the same 3 liter turbo-inline 6 engine as every other car company?”
Follow the intercooler piping on the intake side. You’ll soon come across a nice chrome boost chamber resting on top of dual 4-Barrel carburettors. Yes, you read that right, now pick up your jaw before bugs get into it. We set out to prove that carburettors aren’t the demon everyone says they are. “Oh, they’re not fuel efficient, they’re not reliable, they’re hard to maintain.”
Let’s answer those points in turn.
Fuel efficiency? 28 MPG. Without direct injection, you’re going to have a bit of a fight to make that number. Plus, it’s a crossover, and they’re not known for the best fuel efficiency anyway. And let’s face it, the crossover is the worst of the two vehicles it combines: All the space of the hatchback it comes from, with all the aerodynamics of an SUV. We wouldn’t normally have built this, but, well, crossovers sell, and we like money.
Reliability? Sure, it’s not quite as reliable as a comparable fuel injection system, but the advantage of this is that you can fix it in your own garage when things do go wrong. Plus, the minimization of engine computers means that you’re less likely to end up in a garage staring at a very expensive glowing orange light with some alphanumeric soup code stored in the computer. The only thing the computer controls on this car is the VVT system. Sure, it monitors the catalytic converter, but even if the computer goes out, the engine still runs.
Maintenance? You can fix any part of this engine with tools you have in your garage. It’ll also prepare you for when you decide to get that old 60’s classic project car and have to deal with one of these carburettors, instead of holding an OBD-II socket in your hand and wondering where it goes. Instead, you’ll go straight for your screwdrivers and wrenches and get to work. Plus, our owner’s manual even has instructions on repairing these two off-the-shelf carburettors.
So what does all this mean for you? The Dynamite I6 series engine is both a tool and a learning experience, preparing you for the inevitable desire for an old project car.
Now, you’d think, given all we’ve mentioned the Dynamite D6 has to offer, that it’d be terrifyingly expensive. Well, it costs $23,800.
Is that so expensive for a crossover with an AHS steel unibody construction and aluminum panels, with premium seating for 5 and a good radio?
And yes, the wild-card-to-end-all-wildcards has arrived. The Bomb has dropped, and its name is the Dynamite D6.
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There’s just something about the DV-3 that makes me say “Someone copied a Chinese car manufacturer!”.
Because, that’s what I’d design if I had a Chinese car manufacturer that likes using three cylinder powerplants.
It’s appealing, but I’d maybe colour it pastel green 
Oh, and don’t forget to offer a diesel version and call it DV-D 
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This engine is like taking every second trait of a modern one and a 50 year old one and combining them into one unit 
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Cheeky sideswipe at your customers, I approve 
Well, I must clarify that that was not in any way intentional. It’s honestly an offence that such a car is being compared to this cretin.
So the logic here is “these cars are inefficient anyway, so why try to make them more efficient?”. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it so to say, but it’s quite the unusual approach!
You’re suggesting that something copied by a CHINESE manafacturer is somewhat of an appealing feature?
That’s like saying “I like these cheap knock-off Ray Bans because they’re quite similar to actual Ray Bans” 
But rest assured, the diesel variant will be called the DV-D (and the MPV version of it the MP-3)
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Pretty much the logic at Dynamite Motors. Effectively, it’s their way of seeing just how much the average crossover buyer really cares about what powers their car. Plus, they’re known for being ultra-cheap about things, so why spend thousands of dollars on engineering a direct fuel injection system for an engine going into something with all the aerodynamic properties of a brick wearing a parachute? Just throw a couple off-the-shelf Four-Barrel carburettors on it and call it a day.
That, and I wanted, for a few rounds now, to pull the ultimate wild-card. I think this is it, unless in the next round, we’re allowed V12’s, at which point, V12 twin-turbo with pushrods and carburettors has to happen. Just because of insanity. I know it doesn’t have a chance at winning, but it’s a crossover. Do I want to be remembered as “The guy that won the crossover round” as time goes on?
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We at DMA prefer proper capability when even building a Crossover.
At $21280 with a proper 4X4 transfer case and 31x10.5 R16 tires the O117B is certainly capable.
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Random question, did the chief designer cite “a frog” as being the main inspiration behind the car?
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@DeusExMackia Here comes the thing… Is it the hope for the crossover market? Or is it just another hatchback (well, estate here) on stilts? Time will tell 
#Griffa Triseon
Here it is, the latest crossover offering from Griffa, the new Triseon - probably the safest vechicle in class, offering also the perfect balance between performance and efficiency thanks to our new, advanced BR-series inline 4.
Some facts about the TL4 trim offered here:
- 2.3 turbo BR-series inline 4 offering great efficiency, power (212hp), smoothness and reliability
- 6 speed automatic transmission for smooth and effortless ride
- comfortable interior with all the latest safety innovations
- AWD system for better handling and semi-offroad capabilities
- 37 MPG combined
###All yours for $24 999
######And it’s blue, not slightly violet - probably Paint’s fault, as I used it for downscaling the images.
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I LOOOOOVE THE SMELL OF NAPALM IN THE MORNING
good job ruining everything
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It seems that Bright Blue (with minor variations) is the go-to colour of the 2017 crossover. Interesting.
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Well even our real life crossover is blue, so I suppose it’s just a very crossovery color
ok so I tried this for about 5 minutes and then I either finished, or gave up. I’m not sure which.
Eh I think I’ll just style it and submit.