The Car Shopping Round (Round 64): Tears in Heaven

Bellisa*

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Dem reflections :heart_eyes:

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I agreeā€¦ MILF (anybody get the reference)

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No

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American Pie, in the first film a character played by the same guy as Sulu in the new Star Trek movies says MILF ( Mum Iā€™d Like To F***) at a picture of Pamela Andersonā€™s character.

I am really, really struggling right now. Really, really struggling.

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Just watch the American pie movie, quite a good comedy to be honest and you will see.

Iā€™ve seen it.

Iā€™m not following how this adds up with the reply besides it mentioning Pam Anderson.

Sheā€™s not even in the movie

Mate, please tell me youā€™ve understood any of the conversation from the past 20 minutes.

1 Like

All I saw was[quote=ā€œabg7, post:8458, topic:6447ā€]
Anyway, back in '95, quite a lot of these cars would have looked even better with someone like Pamela Anderson standing next to them!
[/quote]

And then I put[quote=ā€œLinkLuke, post:8461, topic:6447, full:trueā€]
I agreeā€¦ MILF (anybody get the reference)
[/quote]

Which ties into the first American pie movie

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/sarcasm

Not really a type for sarcasm, sometimes iā€™m a little like Sheldonā€¦ but I like to think iā€™m smarterā€¦ I mean better

And back in '95, Ms. Anderson was still part of the cast of Baywatch, having recently been given the role of CJ Parker. Thatā€™s the real reason I mentioned her - she was among the hottest actresses of the 90s, and getting her to pose alongside some of the cars submitted here would have been a breeze! :grinning:

He didnā€™t and still donā€™t. At allā€¦

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Yeah can we just end this convo here for now and move on or stay silent until the reviews come out? Weā€™ve only got some 1500 posts left until the thread gets locked, so, enough :stuck_out_tongue:

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are you fkn serious, the thread gets locked at 10k?

Somebody better remind me to copy-paste the OP when weā€™re close to the limit so I donā€™t have to rewrite it from scratch because that would be painful :joy:

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Well, you can still read (and copy from) the locked thread, so donā€™t worry about that :wink: But yeah, it gets locked.

#Reviews Block #1 (First Cuts Part 1/2)

Our customer woke up at 5:00AM, because heā€™s a productive, hard-working, upstanding CEO, despite what his coworkers have to say about that. Much to his chagrin, the mail hadnā€™t arrived yet, so he was forced to sit idly at his maple wood 20ā€™ long desk, which originally was supposed to be a meeting table. At 8:19 the mail truck arrived, and a large cardboard box was unceremoniously dumped onto his front mat. As he picked up the incredibly dense container a few paper sheets leaked out of it, as it was filled to the brim. He prepared some French press coffee and started going through the brochures, to take a look at the carsā€™ aesthetics.

@LilRedRhyder:

First brochure of the day! I couldnā€™t wait any longer! Until i saw this. Weā€™re off to a quite bad start, this Omega Barracuda T-Top would make the snobs (how ironic) from that annoying company a few blocks away point and laugh. And theyā€™d be justified, since this thing is ugly. Itā€™s got a weird face, and a rear end that looks like a race car with constipation issues . Iā€™m sorry Omega, but this brochure goes to the bin.

@HighOctaneLove
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/b/7/7/b775f7f85e02d48ecf9f0ebcf962582455db90c8_1_690x387.png
I grabbed the next brochure from the box, and was greeted by a tremendously bright blue color, a clear sign this was Bogliqā€™s brochure. One of my employees owns a Bogliq, itā€™s apparently from Moldavia, which is some Eastern European thing. The Ungoliantā€™s design can be defined with just one word, Ungainly. Itā€™s really weird and bad looking. This is again, not the kind of car i need. Another one gets the binā€¦

@abg7
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/1/3/1/1314e17407fca78da9fe1196621b40d3c1f095ad_1_690x388.png
Next up was Albury, from the land down under, with their new Crusader 5.7 Touring, a sleek V8 machine with a sporty, but relatively elegant design, it could grow on me. The interior seems well appointed and fitting for a car of this price range, and it even has that fancy adaptive suspension thing. Theyā€™re advertising their carā€™s reliability really heavily, and iā€™m sure they have a reason to. The 5.7L V8 engine is quite adequate for the task, it seems. I should check it out at the dealership.

@LinkLuke
http://i.imgur.com/rPD1xZg.png
Whatā€™s this? LLA Dunpala, huh? I can say one thing, it looks weird. And by weird i mean it looks silly. There are bad chrome accents all over the place, and black plastic that wouldnā€™t look out of place in a Cavalier. I guess people who want a sports car to take to the track would like this, but i donā€™t. To the bin!

@conan
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/f/2/7/f271f59765b32f97dc65601ec927dc04874bd8ce_1_690x398.jpg
Cordia Spadaā€¦ This one looks nice, i quite like it. I can picture it at InfoCOMā€™s new parking lot. The Japanese are making some really gorgeous machines nowadays, thatā€™s for sure. The interior has a ton of newfangled electric gadgets and itā€™s riding on a fancy ā€œActive Suspensionā€, the engine is a 4.2L Inline 6, which, if Jeff from accounting knows anything, is quite large for an Inline 6. Iā€™ll have to try it out at the dealer.

@TR8R
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/b/6/6/b669cfa3e097a8059e055b311a36c42293d0af8d_1_690x487.jpg
Alright, First Order Automotive Trident GT, this car has a vintage feel of sorts, but it doesnā€™t look ancient, itā€™s quite alright, until you see the rear end, which iā€™m not liking at all to say the least. Anyways, this car seems to come with a similar interior design as the ones iā€™ve already viewed, and again the active thingamajig. Itā€™s got a 3.2L V6, which i guess is enoughā€¦ and All Wheel Drive, which iā€™ve heard makes controlling the car easier, especially when itā€™s raining or snowing. The MSRP is a lot under my budget, which isnā€™t quite what i wanted, you know what? This goes in the bin. Weā€™re looking towards the future at InfoCOM, not old design.

@titleguy1
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/5/7/3/573a8d7e95692c6f883ed0bc0da17d7e24faf17a_1_690x388.jpg
This next brochure comes from Rennen, and itā€™s for theā€¦ Apophis? iā€™m not sure if iā€™m pronouncing that right. Yeah, itā€™s the Apophis Elite C. It looks nice, conservative but quite modern, i even like the color they used in the brochure. Itā€™s got a V8 engine, and one that seems rather advanced. Whoa, the interior in this thing is lavish, never seen anything like thisā€¦ itā€™s like those 200k limousinesā€¦ wait, how the hell did they manage to put this in? I called the dealer for some more info on this car, and theyā€™ve told me that for this interior the waiting list is almost a year long. Well, that was a waste of time. Binning this isnā€™t enough. (Our customer proceeded to light the brochure on fire)

@Microwave
http://i.imgur.com/irimtb7.png
What do we have here? The Valiant GT960. Supercar performance, Full-size comfort and Japanese reliability are what it claims to offer. One thing is for sure, itā€™s got the looks. Maybe the front is a little bland, but i like the huge sunroofs and the rear. The interior seems to be the average high end stuff, and the suspension is of a more conventional type. Wait, what the hell is this? The top speed is 209MPH?! Alright it DOES have supercar performance, fucking crazy. Still, i am going to check it out.

@gridghost
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/c/c/7/cc7eecae6decffe21c2f32416556f4fadcec0d12_1_563x500.png
Scarab Eruption GT, pretty sporty sounding, huh. And it sure looks the part, modern, elegant and sporty. Itā€™s got a Turbocharged V8 engine, making 402hp, which is quite a lot of power. On the inside itā€™s about the same as most other cars in this box of brochures, itā€™s got Air suspension, which is cool and fancy i guess, and All Wheel Drive, which i quite appreciate, since i could get a little spirited driving out of this. I think i should go and see it myself.

@ramthecowy
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/b/9/5/b95c821299b91d77607bf35acc9fecba029286ea_1_690x421.jpg
Now itā€™s Cavalleraā€™s turn, iā€™ve heard this is a Spanish manufacturer, but this car is called the Ryujin, that sounds quite Asian to me, maybe Chinese? Well nevermind. Its styling is quite unique, if not strange, mostly the rear end, with those L-shaped taillights, though it fits the way InfoCOM is pushing towards the future. As usual, the average luxury car interior, and semi-active springs in the suspension, no idea what that means. Under the hood thereā€™s a 3.0 Liter Inline 6 with a Turbocharger, making 303hp. This one also doesnā€™t go in the bin, it has potential.

@Oskiinus
https://i.imgur.com/N1mUrBJ.png
Oh my, Sincker Athena, Sincker is supposedly aā€¦ plane engine manufacturer? Anyways, ā€œStep into the Futureā€. Iā€™m not stepping into the future if itā€™s staring at me like that. Why is it so happy? Those headlights are massive, and the rear is blobby. So, the interior is um, the same thing as the last 10 cars pretty much, except the Apā€¦ Apoā€¦ whatever. Itā€™s got this Hydropneumatic suspension, that Jeff told me was used by the French, and apparently is very good for comfort. Itā€™s also got a prestigious V12 engine, making 384hp. But i just canā€™t bring myself to like the styling. Sadly, the Athena is headed to the bin.

@BrafMeToo

What were the designers at McKeown thinking?! If you squint it looks like a featureless car body, at least half of the design crew must have been on vacation. I know there are these things called ā€œaero damsā€ or something that fancy cars use to get better mileage, but the GT has goddamn Hoover Dam glued to its front end. No. Just no. (This brochure was about to be thrown in the bin, but in a spark of creativity, it got slammed in a document shredder)

@DoctorNarfy

The next brochure was Nickelā€™s, with their new MJ900. Its looks are peculiar. It looks smooth and modern, but the rear end looks more like a hatchback, and the front is maybe a little too bland. Inside itā€™s the same as all the others, and it has a 5.4L V8 engine. Huh, what is this? Front wheel drive? All the other cars iā€™ve seen were either Rear wheel drive or All wheel drive. I had to call someone to help me out, and i think you know who i called. Anyways, he told me that was such a weird choice, and that FWD is better fit for a Ford Aspire than a car of this caliber. (Heh, i guess it fits the hatchback aesthetic.) And i think i will listen to his advice and throw this brochure in the bin.

@koolkei
http://discourse.automationgame.com/uploads/default/optimized/4X/d/8/9/d898829f080cdc048ee330e554b27182f193a4b2_1_690x258.png

Komodo sent me a brochure for the Losica, that apparently is a 1987 car updated for 1995. But it appears it has shrunk a little after washing it. This thing is tiny, i mean, i compared it to a Honda Civic Sedan and this thing is significantly smaller. I appreciate the effort by Komodo but a blocky slab-sided car with sealed beam headlights is not what iā€™m looking for. Though i would have liked taking it for a spin.

After throwing the Komodoā€™s brochure in the overflowing trash can, he got a call for a business meetingā€¦ (To be Continued)

Fun Facts:

Number of Entries that got the bin: 9
Number of Entries that broke the rules: 1
Temperature of the coffee after the brochure viewing: 63.3Ā°F
Snob level of our customer: Off the scale.
I probably broke the record for the highest Bin/Pass ratio.

20 Likes

Does that mean that a submission was over budget in some way (price, production units and/or engineering time), or used a part that could not be chosen (such as a hand-made interior)? At least my entry conforms to all the rules of this round and went on to pass the first round of cuts.

Edit: The Apophis most likely had a hand-made interior, so it was immediately disqualified from this round.

Anyway, I think the Dunpala looks like itā€™s meant for a boy racer, not a CEO.

My only other ideas for an entry this round - a V8 coupe with a quad-cam engine and a 12-cylinder droptop - looked good on paper, but I forewent them both for a variant of the Crusader due to aesthetic concerns, excess weight and inferior reliability. Anyway, there is no such thing as a set of semi-active springs, but there are semi-active dampers (which I did not use; I chose adaptive dampers and passive sway bars instead), so your (or rather, the customerā€™s) description of the Ryujin (a Japanese name, not a Chinese one, by the way) may have been erroneous somehow.

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