Team Angus - Chapter Fifteen, Sixteen and the Epilogue
Team Bio
Team Angus - Chapter 14
GAR - Chapter 15
GAR - Chapter 16
When we reached the border crossing to Greece we found ourselves being waved through by the border guards. Not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth we hightailed it past the barriers and into Greece proper. We followed the other racers in selecting the coastal highway and took advantage of the straights to make up for lost time dodging cop cars…
Traffic on the highway proved to be heavy but Ben kept up the pace, despite his fatigue and the worn state of our tyres. This meant that we were in for for a pleasant surprise… We’d caught up with the Erin Scarlet S!!!
B: “Well stone the crows! There’s that slippery l’il fish from up in the alps!”
V: “What is this thing you call a crow and why do you want to hurt it?”
A: “Crows are birds like a raven. But we don’t want to hurt them, stones or no stones”
V: “Then why mention them? Is this some sort of code?”
B: “Strewth! It means that I’m expressing surprise, OK!?!?”
V: Ooh, OK… Like, how do you say it? Holy shitsnacks?"
A: “Yeah, just like that. Ben! Overtake that car ASAP!!! Our honour is at stake!”
B: “Want me to challenge them to a winner-takes-all Touge?”
A: “Haha, very funny, just pass them will you!”
B: “Let’s see… I have a plan”
V: “Shoot them?”
A & B: “NOOO!!!”
A: “No shooting competitors! Ben, just get it done, please?”
B: “Already on it old bean, don’t fret!”
Ben waited for the right moment then drafted the Erin and pushed past at the next corner. As per their spectacular pass on us in Italy, we didn’t touch them at all, we just roared on by. We were now clear for our run into the final stage of this crazy mess of a race. There was now no way we’d win it but we were determined to at least reach the finish line…
V: “Map says we’re really close to the finish, only two hundred kilometres to go!”
B: “I can’t wait for this to be over! I’m looking forward to going for a swim when this is all over!”
A: “Me too… Clear Mediterranean waters, golden sands and something cold and refreshing to drink”
V: “I have business to attend to in Athens but I’ll definitely come along for the ride!”
A: “What about you Sooty?”
Sty: “Meow!”
All: “Hahahahahahahahaaaa…”
The final stretch was anticlimactic to say the least; all the action was taking place among the front-runners! By the time we arrived four hours had passed since the winners had been declared and there was no-one to see us pass the line except for a lone race “official” who marked our arrival time on his pad then told us to “sod off”…
We ended up 40th out of 45 entrants. Both the Chevallier (38th) and the Erin Scarlet (35th) ended up beating us. The Bushranger was too big, too heavy and most crucially, too slow. We got really good footage of shootouts but it wasn’t likely that it’d be useable for the movie I had planned.
After we’d moped about a bit (while Valerie spoke on a payphone to someone) I decided to get us somewhere to stay for the night, as well as to get our car off the street.
A: “OK team, let’s get ourselves a place to stay and get ourselves off the street before some cop spots us and we find ourselves spending a long, LONG time in a jail cell somewhere downtown”
V: “Don’t worry, I have just the place where we, and the car, can slip under the radar for a few days”
A: “OK, lead the way, you know what you’re doing”
V: “Also, give me those guns, you won’t need them and if we DO get arrested you don’t want to add firearm charges to the rap sheet”
B: “If you say so…”
We handed the Marakovs back to Valerie who returned them to her carry bag then Valerie kindly offered to drive so that Ben could have a rest. Ben moved into the back seat and I sat shotgun while Valerie proceeded to her hideout via the empty streets of Athens poorer areas. I must have dozed off because all of a sudden we stopped. We were in an alleyway behind a warehouse at the Athenian port!
A: “What’s going on?”
B: “Yeah, I wanted to go for a swim but at the docks? Ewww”
V: " We are waiting for my friends to arrive, then everything will be fine, juuust fine"
A: “Uhhh, Valerie, why is there a gun in your hand”
V: “Time to get out, both of you, now MOVE!!!”
We bundled out of the car and sat on some crates as directed by Valerie. A couple of minutes later a big, black BMMA Narwhal drove down the alley and disgorged four gangster looking dudes who then slowly approached Valerie and our Bushranger…
Gangster Lead: “So, do you have the footage?”
V: “Yep, it’s in the back seat of the car, take it and take the car too, this thing is all over the police radar at the moment”
GL: “What about the stiffs?”
V: “Nobodies. Give 'em their passports and let them hitch their way to their embassy. No-one’s gonna believe them anyway…”
GL: “Fine… Bobby, Marko, do as the lady says and get those two out of my sight!”
And that was the last I saw of either Valerie or our Bushranger. We managed to get a lift to the Australian Consulate and from there, once we were processed, we caught a ride home on a tramp freighter. Upon arriving home in Aus, Ben and I resolved that if there was another race, this time we’d take something with a turbo and a LOT more power!
Faced with a smaller budget than usual, Angry Angus: Irritation Road was re-jigged to be about an Aussie with anger issues who, while on location in Japan, has to race different members of the Yakusa in Touge events to win his freedom and that of his leading lady.
The film sold better than expected which meant that Sam got what he wanted, despite losing the race! Ben was paid more money for this film, mainly because he traded a salary for a larger slice of the proceeds, and was able to finally buy himself a house…
THE END!!!
