Oh nvm complete derp. I thought you were interested the team for some reason. Nice to see u in anyways
1 Like
On the one hand the challenge looks like a lot of fun, on the other I know I wonât have time to do the RP bits with any frequency that would do it justice.
So Iâll just post the car I would have brought, if thatâs alright.
FOR SALE: 1999 GNOO CITISCAPE GT (COUPE!!!)
Ad by Joeâs Used Car and Salvage Yard
$2000 OBO
Do not miss the once-in-a-lifetime chance to own this fast and luxurious piece of automotive beauty for a shockingly low price! This metallic blue sportscar has the lauded and reliable 2.2l V6 EcoBeest engine, which puts out 200hp through a five-speed automatic gearbox to take you from 0-100 in under 8 seconds. The premium infotainment system gives a stunning sound experience even by todayâs standards and the leather seats will make you hesitate every time you have to get out of it. The sporty performance, however, does not mean itâs a guzzler, because itâs still a Gnoo and only drinks 8l of fuel per 100km on a city cycle thanks to the electronic multipoint fuel injection system.
Image shown is vehicle of same make, model and colour (source internet). Come see this suave speedster on the lot!
P.S. We are legally obligated to notify you that the vehicle is technically a salvage title due to a minor incident with an overturned ferry and the subsequent being washed ashore. There is minor salt water damage (see small text) to the electrical system, interior and surface rust. There is also damage on the interior, apparently from some kind of wildlife, which we have definitively fixed with high quality duct tape. The car runs and drives great! Call today to schedule a viewing and weâll throw in a set of seat covers.
(To have mercy on your eyes, imagine this is tiny text.)
The car has local and general rust on the steel panels and chassis. Minor holes. The mold under the seats and on the carpeting has been treated with a suitable product, however may technically remain harmful to your health. The engine has some difficulty coming on, or when it is running, shutting off. The various engine status lights may present a minor hazard to people who have experienced seizures (while the vehicle is running). The windows on the left go up, but will not come down. The windows on the right go down, but will not come up. The headlights are activated by turning the AC to the position â2â, high beams are handily found as a dual-function of the windshield wipers. Car may not always have 200hp. We literally found this on the beach one day, contacted the owner and he wasnât interested okay?
9 Likes
We took a few photos in the shop to better show off the styling⌠if you can call it that. After a mechanic pointed it out, we canât unsee it, the car is a near twin of the the Saturn SL2. I guess the bland name âBilâ (automobile in Swedish) was not the only thing they spent no effort on when creating this cheap little car.
(yes I gave up on the photoshop for the other 2 pictures, I couldnât find a suitable background in the 10 minutes I spent searching)
10 Likes
Haha I already asked via PM as well ⌠do we get a working school bus for $500?
1 Like
I think we are making a intertwined lore but different cars, Iâm already picking up a broken trans and shit engine 90s lift back, or thatâs my plan
I can imagine, now Iâm imagining what if Sean Connery were playing a Jewish man instead of Irish
1 Like
Green Turd Racing
The Team:
Lupus: A 15-year-old hyperactive child with a learner license and a short temper who âfixedâ a chainsaw once by replacing the clogged air-filter with an old sponge and now considers himself a mechanic, is a wiz at following instructions found on the internet.
Beth: Lupusâ 83-year-old grandmother who has agreed to accompany lupus on the journey being that Lupus is a learner driver and his parents would not allow him to take part if they knew about it. She will pretty much do nothing but sit in the passenger seat and knit sweaters, but at least this is one team that will not go cold. Unbeknownst to Lupus she has never actually held a vehicle license.
The Car: 1965 Shaphe 800
Lupus: Who needs $500 when a beautiful old classic like the 1965 Shaphe (Sha-Fay) 800 crashes into the front porch of your parentsâ house, while youâre screaming at your useless Overwatch teammates to get on the objective. The previous owner ran away before anybody could react, (obviously realising that the damage is worth more than the car) and that is how I came into possession of possibly the worst car ever made.
Surprisingly the car suffered very little damage in the crash save for both headlights which I replaced with a couple of old torches I found in the attic and some half dead batteries out of mums âadult toysâ.
Other âmodificationsâ include removing the rusty old exhaust that was hanging loose after the crash, hence the car now requires earmuffs to drive (or in grandmas case turning down her hearing aid), cushions for the ridiculously uncomfortable ride, a shower scraper for wiping down the windscreen when it rains, 200hp worth of scratch and sniff stickers plastered on the rear window, racing stripes and some fluffy dice to hang from the roof where the mirror once was.
From factory this beauty(piece of shit) produced a whopping(dreary) 40 horsepower from its 800cc 3 cylinder engine which is delivered to the rear wheels via a 2-speed column shifter, the Shaphe 800 certainly isnât going to be the fastest car in the competition, it may not even make it up the first hill, but donât be surprised if it eventually crawls over the finish lineâŚ
Beth: On the back of a tow truckâŚ
11 Likes
oh whew. 4 people team?
me, @Sillyducky, @FrankNSTein, and @JohnWaldock ?
or do we just wanna split into 2 teams?
3 Likes
Team Bamford
The Team
Ken Clark: The 70 something owner of Bamtech Supercars, who make small batches of Super/Race cars under the name âBamfordâ, which was a sports car company run by Ken from 1966 - 2006.
Jason Clark: Kenâs 24 year-old Grandson, an amateur racer and part-time 7/11 Attendant.
Phillip Glasse: Jasonâs 23 year-old friend, A Youtube trained mechanic who owns at least 2 Toyotas at any given time.
Simon Bhatt: The 18 year-old grandson of Teuton founder Ranvir Bhatt- the Indian sister company to Bamford that specialized in industrial engines and cheap sports cars.
The âCarâ
1997 Bamford Advance
Ken had been skeptical about his grandsonâs crazy idea to go roaring around in an old bomb for two days, but, eager to enjoy his life a little bit more,he had agreed to ride with the boys as a riding mechanic, after all, heâd built LeMans and Grand Prix winners in his day, sure he wasnât as agile or as eager as he was a few years ago, but doing a little roadside maintenance on some old Baltazar (or even a KHT if he was lucky) seemed like a nice way to spend a few days with his grandson and his mates.
It wasnât.
Jason, Phillip and Simon arrived in a car outside Kenâs house and he eagerly went outside to see what car they had bought.
âYouâll love it pop!â called Jason âItâs a Bamford!â
Ken smiled, if there were any cars that he knew, it was the ones heâd built himself and for $500 it was going to be something simple, like an old Laguna or Teuton with a nice, easy to maintain engine.
It wasnât.
Ken quickly frowned when he saw the car that the 3 boys were pointing out to him.
âHowâd you buy that for ($500 USD)?â
Jason smiled âNever you mind!â
âThese sold for ($200,000 USD) Jason, how did you buy it for ($500 USD)?â
The car in question was an IG Advance Luxus-Boot, a top-end luxury limo from 1996 that came with a 1000hp V8 and a top speed of around 340km/h.
http://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o601/AB_Photogrpahy/20170428130843_1_zpsfjosfyoo.jpg
Ken began looking carefully at the car and realized it wasnât an IG Advance, it was an IA Advance, the V6 version from 1994 that had been poorly modified to look like an IG, with an obnoxious hood scoop on the bonnet and lots of cheap chrome plating.
âYou wanted to know how it cost $500?â asked Simon âStart it upâ
Ken reluctantly climbed into the car and gave the V6 a kick, surprisingly it started, albeit rough, in fact, too rough for a V6âŚ
âThis is rattling like crazy!â called Ken
âDonât worry, Itâs a Good old engineâ said Phillip âA real Workhorseâ
Ken sighed, linking the hints together âAre you telling me you bought a base model IA, dressed up as an IG with a 3 Cylinder lighting plant generator in the engine bay?â
âSure did, it took a bit of work but Iâve even got some decent power from the engineâ said Phillip âAll I had to do was tighten up the cam, change some bolts and wind back the timing a bit and itâs running sweet!â
âSo itâs been retarded? How fitting.â mumbled Ken
Jason shot his grandfather a dirty look.
âIt only takes 35 seconds to reach 90mph too!â continued Phillip, unaware of the scorn he was getting.
Ken sighed harder than before, he looked around the cabin at all the ill-fitting trim and asked one last question âHas this car been rolled over?â
http://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o601/AB_Photogrpahy/20170428130840_1_zpsyehejcey.jpg
The Bamford-Teuton Workhorse 3.5L I3
The car came from a luxury car collector whose son had done up a V6 IA as a project car before crashing the car and heading to university, the father fixed the damage and then gave the car to his youngest son who wrecked the engine, put the last of the awful trim on and finally spent ages fitting a Bamford generator engine into the engine bay just so he could take the car to the local supermarket to impress the ladies.
Amazingly it worked and now that the youngest son is married the family has no use for the car and with it being a sorry bastard-dog of a car, the father sold it to the first fool who came along. Phillip Glasse was buying a Toyota Crown from the father who also offered the Bamford for a measly 300 pounds, just to be rid of the thing. Phillip then held onto the car for a while before finding out about the challenge and decided to finally do something with the car that had been sitting in his parents yard for a year.
http://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o601/AB_Photogrpahy/20170428130847_1_zpstnqjbaln.jpg
Kenâs Notes:
V6 replaced with a worn Inline 3 that has been modified by an untrained fool.
Car has high amounts of rust in rear panels and most body panels damaged from âconversionâ work and noticeable floor-pan rust from sitting in long grass.
Itâs been involved in a mid-speed collision, as the front end is bent and askew, though the suspension still lines up fine and the airbags and ABS have been reset and repaired.
The front springs have been cut to lower the car while the back has 100kg of Barbell weights welded into the rear compartment to weigh the car downâŚ
All Interior trim shows some severe levels of damage, aside from the front passenger seat
Only dashboard instrument that works is the temperature gauge.
Gearbox shakes like crazy when selecting reverse, forward gears are fine, especially for an old auto like this one.
It just generally looks awful.
Also, a separate video just to document the lovely chuffing noise that the I3 makes at idle:
8 Likes
Captinâs Log, Stardate 70789.9.
After talking with the mechanics and among each other we decided the car was not stupid enough for showing off to other people (we had to assume others were going to be participating in this event). If we really wanted to stand out, we had to take this little 4 banger to its limits⌠without dropping money into it. The first order of business was boosting the turbo to the moon and praying it didnât explode. After some talk with the shop mechanics and some online research we figured out the installed turbo could be rigged up to produce a whopping 1.22 bar of boost! To support this massive boost increase we needed to up the ARF, upping it from 13.2:1 to 12.6:1 seemed to be about as much as we could squeeze from the engine. The engine was still running rough and producing poor power. We did not want to reduce boost pressure, and after the rigging we did on the turbo I donât think we really could have if we wanted to, which meant jumping to the last resort, shaving down the already shaved piston heads to reduce the compression ratio and hopefully get the engine running well again.
Jump to a few hours and a borrowed lathe later, and we finally have an engine worthy of âricerâ status. We took some video of the engine on the dyno to show you how terrible it sounds in the low end, and just how piercing the turbo has become⌠but the results are undeniable. 322 NM of torque at 3100 RPM and 220 HP at 6100 RPM! Not only are we making 31 more HP than the original turbo mod, but a staggering 87 more HP than the stock engine! Not only that, but the car now does 0-100 kmh in a respectable 6.4s, more than half-a-second faster than the original turbo mod, and almost 3 seconds faster than the stock car. We also have some nice burnout capabilities from a stop, thanks to the ridiculous torque spike below 3000 RPM.
In addition to tuning the turbo, we also found out that the Bil has a rev limiter installed from the factory to increase reliability for the eco version of this engine. Removing this limiter took the redline from 6500 to 6700 RPM, not a huge difference, but the dyno tells us it was worth 0.1s off our 0-100 kmh time. Inspecting the car led us to conclude we had to do something with the rusting exhaust system. It looked like the exhaust was made from unprotected steel, it was basically just dust at this point. So off to the junk yard we went.
We spent a few hours at the junkyard trying to find some suitable car to steal exhaust parts from. We needed a cat and some pieces of straight pipe, and a muffler would be nice. Ryan and I argued for a while about what size of piping to look for, what car might have a suitable exhaust, etc. while Jason wondered around. A few minutes later Jason yelled for us, we followed his voice towards the back of the lot. Coming around a corner at the far end of the junkyard, right along the fence line, we saw Jason standing in front of a massive, lifted, 4x4. Now normally this would not have been helpful in the least bit, but it seems the previous owner of the truck went a bit Mad Max on it. There was exhaust pipe all over this thing, it looked more like a musical instrument than a car. But it was just what we needed to piece together our own exhaust system. We went to work cutting up the smaller tubing, 3.5", and pulling off a nice high-flow cat buried deep in the maze of tubing. Once we had a nice selection of pipe pieces we were a bit dismayed to realize the truck had no mufflers on it, and the day was running short to scour the junkyard much longer. Luckily as we were on our way out of the yard we happened across an over-turned sedan of some sort. it was smashed beyond recognition, but it was presenting us its under-belly, complete with a muffler in un-smashed condition. It only took us a moment to measure the muffler and confirm it would fit our 3.5" tubing, and another minute to saw it away from the vehicleâs carcass. in addition to the muffler, the car also gifted us with a couple of belts from the engine bay, surely one of these would fit the A/C in our car. Pleased with our haul we headed back to the repair shop to get to work tacking together our Frankenstein exhaust. We already knew the crazy high boost on the engine would kill it sooner rather than later, so exhaust system longevity was not a big concern.
Once the exhaust was adequately routed and the A/C brought back to life, we had to cut a little more of the front bumper away as the engine was running a bit hot. All in all, a good days work. Since we knew the mechanics pretty well than only charged us $20 for the dyno and another $20 to borrow their welder. For $40 we made this car a proper rice-beater⌠even if it may only live another year now.
4 Likes
SUPER TEAM!!!
Just curious⌠how did you know where to get the batteries? And Ewwwwwwww!
I like the idea of 2 teams with 2 people each (maybe with some intertwined lore). 4 is just too much.
For the car, koolkei and me are eyeing at some specific 80s sedan 
As much as I want to enter, ive got my proper exams in two weeks time. 
So Cole is sitting having a beer and playing some OpenTTD when John runs in with a newspaper and trips on his diabetic cat. âDude! Check this shit out!â said John. Cole looks at the ad in the newspaper. âThose still exsist?â He says, referring to the newspaper. "Yes, old people still need something to give them crosswords but look at this article! It read â2 day lemon race to be held not far from here.â Cole continued to read the article while the cat lazily swatted at John. âLooks coolâ said Cole, âwe can do that before we go off to college.â Cole than asked John what he wanted to do. John said âletâs buy an old truck, thatâll be reliable enough to get though 2 days, or 2 decades.â Cole said âitâs so slow, why not a light hatch or coupe?â John said âthat will break faster than an Alfa, plus we also got to find this for $500, thatâs gonna limit our options to some trashy cars.â They talked a bit more and couldnât agree how to approach it so John left Coleâs apartment and told him to get a nicer cat.
The next day Cole decided to just get something and tell John later, possibly a bad move. He got a truck from a neighborhood kid as long as he filled up the tank when he was done, cheaper than U-Haul. He got his old trailer out too. He did a quick Craiglist search and found a car nearby. The ad read âselling a Fahrzeug M1, $1000 or trade for a Volkswagen Cabrio mk3.5.â Cole had a 3.5 he used for engine parts but to give it a shot he called the lady selling it just to see. âHello?â âHi!â âAre you selling the M1?, I have a cabrio I can trade but it doesnât have a working engine.â She said âthatâs fine, I can come see it and think about it.â âDonât bother, I can just drive this cabrio over.â âOk then, you can come anytime today, see you later!â Cole got his coffee and left.
He pulled into a long driveway, the gravel made the empty trailer shake like hell. As he pulled up he saw a sizable lake and a new house. He met the woman selling it. She greeted him and went to inspect the cabrio. âI donât see any rust and thatâs all my son needs to fix his other one, a set of rust free body panels and good seats, Iâll take it I guess.â Cole thought âwait⌠Her son? Wtf?â but he didnât care who it went to. Then she opened up the hood, âwait⌠Where is the engine?â Cole said âI told you it was missing, I used it.â She said, no, you told me it was broken, itâs fine but the scrap isnât worth as much with no engine parts, Iâll offer $500 for it." Disappointed Cole went asked to just see the M1. They went to an old shed at least 1/2 a mile away. âMy husband used to drive this every day, it works but is worn and it does not have a good clutch any more but the manual transmission works fine, itâs not rusted but the seats are ripped from 20 years of constant use. It wasnât worth keeping it nice so he bought a new car, if you can get it working it is a very enjoyable car!â Cole said âCan I get it for $500? It has ripped seats and a poor clutch, please?â She said âIâll go to $900.â âAny lower?â asked Cole? âFine, $850 but thatâs itâ she said. The challenge asked for $500. This wasnât looking good for Cole, she wouldnât take the cabrio for much and the car was going to be over budget but he already was here. He was about to move on when he saw something in the back of the old shed. âWhatâs that?â he asked. She said âitâs an old truck from when we bought the house, it was left here, too rusty for anyone to even bother with and I am having trouble even getting rid of it, you can have it for free for all I care.â It was a JHW, a brand known fr itâs reliability and John would love it for the race. He said " Iâll take it." He gave her $350 extra and took both home after two trips.
Then Cole called up John. âI got us one lift back for $850.â John said âdude, we were gonna use a truck and $850 is over budget! What are we gonna do with that?â âI did get a truck too so you have some old JHW, I donât know what it is, and I got a Fahrzeug M1 in shite condition, two cars for $850 puts us under $500 per car. I sold her the cabrio but I can pay for it as long as you can get us the parts.â John said âno problemâ and went to check out the truck in the lot behind Coleâs apartment. It was rusty but started up fine, the M1 had serious clutch problems though, it worked but barely. Cole decided to post some pictures when it got light again because it was now night after all those trips. John said he would tell their friends @koolkei and @FrankNSTein tomorrow and see if they wanted to join in the now friendly competition.
@JohnWaldock this work well for you?
Note for everyone else, never type this long on your phone. I regret fully.
9 Likes
how did you fully accept that youâre being called as Cole now?
âwell john. since you apparently also found the event that we were already planning to join anyway, iâm afraid youâre already too late. me and Frank have decided to just go with 2 of us. so, sorry, for this time weâre not your friends. weâre your rival. and if things go as plan, weâre gonna get our car tommorow. something that is NOT a truck. although it may get the same mileage as a truck.â
I decided i couldnât be Ethan cuz I would never buy anything but mk4 golf lol. I did throw myself in there sorta but never said it was me. So to giys are doing one car? And how do these teams work? Is it the two of us mod two cars together and the two of you work on two cars together?
1 car per team. not per person.
otherâs are role playing as more than 1 character, but still as 1 team therefore still 1 car.
Ok, you two pick a car and the two of us work on one car? Thatâs fine, I can have Cole hit the M1 with the truck.